Work Text:
Ruby’s done something wrong.
That’s the first thing she realises, seeing the stormy, conflicted look in her sister’s eyes, staring right at her.
Although she supposes she’s known all along; why else would she be so secretive? Hiding those copies under her mattress, locked away by a lingering feeling of guilt like blood in her mouth that she can’t explain.
It’s a simple situation, really: caught red-handed reading manga would always be embarrassing. Except this can’t be written off as mere embarrassment and they both know it.
Ruby feels dirty.
Dia probably considers her such. She’s wincing at the cover of the issue Ruby was reading (frantically scrambled shut) - likely resenting the clear female figures tangled into one another, embracing each other closely.
It’s nothing explicit. God, Ruby wouldn’t dare. But it’s still wrong.
Somehow, without it being ever said to her before, Ruby knows it.
“... I wanted to know what time you wanted dinner,” Dia says, the dull tone of her voice shaking. She clenches messily at the ends of her formal skirt: the trademark of a real, proper girl. “Does an hour from now sound okay?”
“Y-Yeah,” agrees Ruby, trying to gulp the lump in her throat down. “Sorry, sis.”
“What are you apologising for?”
“I shouldn’t be reading this,” is the reason given, almost inaudibly. Withdrawn and refusing to glance at it again, the manga is picked up and offered to Dia. “You can confiscate it if you want. Return it to the local library.”
“Why?” Dia asks. “Is it inappropriate?”
“No!” Ruby squeals. “No. It’s just…” She fiddles with her hands, all the while still unable to look Dia in the eye.
Dia recognises the solemn expression Ruby wears: it’s one of disappointment in oneself, of shame. More than anything, it’s one she knows firsthand.
“Then what makes it inappropriate?”
Ruby only fidgets more.
“Well? Are you going to give me a reason?”
“... Do I have to say it?”
“You do,” Dia states, leaving no room for negotiation. “Because I can’t see one myself.”
That gets Ruby to jerk her head up. “What do you mean?”
Dia drums her fingers against her thigh, considering the direction she’s taking this in thoroughly. “What are the contents of this manga?”
“U-Uh… It’s a romance,” Ruby begins. “There’s a little bit of hurt, but it’s mostly cute. I… don’t think there’s much more to it than that.”
Dia hums in acknowledgement. “I see. So where’s the inappropriate part?”
“The… the couple,” murmurs Ruby. Then, with more confidence, she repeats, “The couple.”
A tight, thin frown appears on Dia’s face. “Is the relationship abusive? Incestuous? Pedophilic?”
“No!” she exclaims. “There’s nothing wrong with the couple.”
“My point exactly,” Dia highlights. “If the relationship is perfectly healthy, then why do I need to confiscate your manga?”
“Because I shouldn’t be reading it.”
“Ruby, we’ve just been through this,” sighs Dia. “If there’s nothing wrong with what you’re reading, then why should I stop you from reading it?”
Ruby doesn’t reply.
Even when they justify it with logic, it still feels so… wrong. She still feels so ashamed.
Dia sighs again, traces of fondness within the sound. With a worn-down smile, she opens her arms. “Come here.”
Gingerly, Ruby scampers over to her and allows herself to be held, looking like a lost puppy. The embrace is no less warm and loving than any other they’ve shared; it shocks her.
“You’re fine, Ruby,” Dia reassures her, rubbing a slow hand up and down her back. “You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s okay. I love you.”
And even though she still doesn’t understand, even though that lingering feeling of guilt and shame persists without a real explanation, Ruby thanks her knowing kindness with an, “I love you too”.
Because that’s correct.
She has to trust that, in the midst of all this conflict clouding her head, that shame will shake itself away like withered petals from a beautiful flower in the end.