Work Text:
[Intro music plays].
HAWKS: … No, they’re super comfortable. Next time you’re over at my place I’ll lend you a pair and you can see for yourself, how’s that? Oh, we’re recording? Alright, hello everyone!
DABI: Hello, hello!
HAWKS: I -- who’s gonna do it?
DABI: I think you should.
HAWKS: Shit, I’ve always been so bad at this kind of stuff. Well, hello everyone. My name is Hawks, just in case we haven’t met before, and today I’m here with my best friend, office husband, and fellow pro-hero Dabi. We’re gonna just sit around and talk shit for an hour or so--
DABI: [Laughs]. We’re gonna fuck around for an hour and hope we don’t get in trouble with management.
HAWKS: [Laughs] . I think we’re definitely gonna get reprimanded if we keep cussing so early on in the podcast.
DABI: Why even let us make one of these in the first place? When the idea was brought up I thought it’d just be mentioned in passing.
HAWKS: No, I thought that, too. Now please, let me finish. [More laughter]. Everyone, welcome to Office Chat, the podcast where I, Hawks, interview different pro-heroes. On today’s very first--and probably only--episode, I talk to Dabi. I have to admit, it’s kinda bizarre that they wanted me to ask you some questions; they even gave me a list. I know everything about you. What’s there for me to… to inquire?
DABI: Ah, I mean… [clears throat] not everyone has the privilege of growing up alongside me, Hawks. Not even the people we went to class with, I think you know of my habits of switching things up and everyone getting mad about my dishonesty.
HAWKS: Yeah, yeah. That was something that you had to learn to do, right? It wasn’t something you did just for laughs, giving out fake information to keep some things private. You’re the person I picked that up from, that’s why I have three different birthdays depending on which website you visit.
DABI: Exactly, it was me! It’s not easy, man. I don’t like the spotlight, and I don’t like that I’ve had everyone’s attention since I was born thanks to my dad. I know that, uh, it’s not really his fault, either. He and my mom have always tried to keep the four of us…
HAWKS: Guarded?
DABI: Guarded is a nice word, I guess. The press can be cruel. The two of us know that better than anyone. I’ve seen the way that all that attention has gotten to my dad’s head, too. It fucks you up when you least expect it to, and suddenly you’re getting swarmed by photographers and fans when you exit your doctor’s appointments and trying to not blow up in their faces. It’s suffocating. You try to not care but that’s just easier said than done.
HAWKS: I hate to say it, but I totally get it. You and I are both so constantly exposed to criticism from all sides, starting with our own peers and coworkers. Happened to me the other day; I was on my break with one of my interns and I overheard this other person on patrol judging me for being so loose with the students. It’s like, what do you want me to do? They’re fucking kids, ya know? I’m not going to treat them the same way I treat you, Jeanist, Angel. It’s not fair.
DABI: And it’s not like I’m not asking for fairness, either. It should be part of your morals. You and I have been in this game for years now and I understand that with that, there’s going to be some different treatments and whatever, but it still comes down to basic empathy, basic respect, for me. I don’t talk shit about anyone else, especially when it comes to their hero work. The least I expect is for them to keep their mouths shut.
HAWKS: Hey, yeah, that’s another thing. You’re under scrutiny very often outside of your work. When we were kids, I remember all of those gossip outlets talking about how-- look, lemme read you this. We were twelve when this article was released. “Touya Todoroki has once again proven that charming and boyish looks aren’t everything, getting slammed by fans due to his quick tongue and fiery attitude.” What kind of shit is that?
DABI: It’s literally just shit. I remember telling my parents about it and being even angrier at the fact that I got labeled as a problem child for telling people to shut up and stop making up lies about my home life. I was twelve . Fuyumi got upset about it, too, but she’s always been more reserved. I’m just happy Shoto and Natsuo aren’t the type to keep quiet, either.
HAWKS: Shoto… now that you mention him… [Ruffles papers, looking around the studio. His wings bump into the mic, making both of the men laugh] . One of the questions I was given has something to do with him. I hate the way it’s worded, let me try to paraphrase it. How do you feel about him pretty much continuing the Todoroki legacy? He was training with you and your dad when his Quirk started manifesting, and now he’s a first-year at the same school you two went to. There’s this theory--or, well, these rumors--that you envy him because of the slight differences in your Quirks.
DABI: What do you mean, I envy him? Did they explain that at all?
HAWKS: They didn’t, all of the questions here are actually super vague. If I had to take a wild guess, though… [He exhales, pausing] . I think the correlation that first came to mind was regarding his balance of ice and fire, whereas you’re struggling with the intolerance to fire that your own body built up thanks to your mother’s Quirk. You were destined to be the next Endeavor. I still wholeheartedly think you’re stronger than he is. But you developed this tolerance to sub-zero temperatures that ended up directly conflicting with the heat you’re constantly producing.
DABI: I… [Pauses, shuffling in his seat] .
HAWKS: We can skip this question if you don’t like it, T. I know the details are confusing and it’s not something you… it’s not one of those topics we can just bullshit.
DABI: Nah, it’s fine. I just don’t tend to think about this. It threw me off guard. I’ll give you an honest answer, because it’s something that I feel people have to hear eventually. I don’t hate Shoto, not do I envy him, nor do I think he’s trying to usurp me; in the field, he’s my peer, not my sibling. There was a point in my life, when I was a child, when I genuinely resented him, because I felt imperfect and disposable. It was when that intolerance began growing, actually. And it-- and I caused this huge rift between us that I’m still trying to fix. I had to do a lot of adjusting, starting with my fighting style--
HAWKS: You specialized in long-range attacks.
DABI: Long-range, yeah. And it started to take up too much of my energy, those huge blasts were hurting me. So I had to learn more melee-styled combat. I had to learn that I could serve better as support than being on the fronts, which is what I’d been preparing for since I was seven. I had to learn to love my physique, and that the people that looked at me with sad eyes were doing it out of compassion rather than pity. Remember when we started at UA and those teachers referred me to a specialist because they were worried about the scars on my arms?
HAWKS: Shit, I do. I remember because I had to be pulled aside in the middle of homeroom to answer some questions.
DABI: Right. So, imagine how detrimental that was to my self image and to my mental health, as a sixteen year old. And now you have my brother, with that scar he got by accident on his face. It’s like our brand. You pair that with what we were talking about earlier regarding the media being cruel and it’s a ticking bomb.
HAWKS: I think that the worst part, at least for me, as an outsider--from a third person’s perspective, if you will--it’s really fucked up. I’m trying to put my own biases and our relationship to the side, along with what I’ve experienced as a person with a mutation, and it’s fucked up. And, yeah, going back to how our conversation started, you’ve been getting assessed and criticized when you were just learning to walk. How could that not backfire eventually?
DABI: [Hits table, startling Hawks] . Shit, sorry. But that’s the point I’m trying to get to. I know the reputation I have. I know I’m never going to amount to what Endeavor’s done in his twenty-plus years as a hero. I might have to retire once I hit ten years on the field.
HAWKS: Does that scare you?
DABI: Absolutely not. I can’t bring myself to care about it, to an extent. At least it’ll give me time to actually enjoy my life and tie any loose ends. That thing I mentioned about Shoto, I meant it when I said I fucked up. There’s a line between being honest and being an asshole and I’m aware that I said shit to him that would damage me if I were his age. Plus, maybe retiring means I can have a couple beers with my friends without people breathing down my neck for having one too many.
HAWKS: To--Dabi. My mistake. Dabi, now that you bring up the going out situation, and your reputation. People have seriously pinned you as the Lindsay Lohan-Paris Hilton, socialite type, huh?
DABI: Guess they have. And I guess that my constant post-work outings don’t help my case.
HAWKS: Do you mind if I ask about… [Coughs, uncomfortable] . Would it be okay if we talk about those months you went to “extra courses”?
[Silence] .
DABI: I do mind. [Chuckles, small. Forced] . All that studying almost cost me my national license. Who’d’ve thought?
HAWKS: Hey, at least you weren’t alone. Endeavor and Rei-san gave you their whole support. It was a lot of trial and error.
DABI: That’s true, they made sure it all went smoothly. Having you and Angel visiting was really nice, too. It was encouraging to… boost my grades and pass the courses.
HAWKS: Have you felt the need to maybe enroll again in a few more courses?
DABI: I’d have told you by now.
HAWKS: [More shuffling of papers. He suddenly laughs, startling Dabi] . Why the fuck does everyone want to know if you and I are fucking? Or if either of us is dating Angel?
DABI: [Laughs] . It’s because we’re childhood friends, the three of us. It adds to the whole sexiness and intrigue of it.
HAWKS: That’s it! It’s because you and I have known each other since we were snotty kids, and Angel since she was smack in the middle of puberty.
DABI: Plus, we’ve both definitely made it clear that we’re even vaguely interested in men. It only makes sense that we’re perceived as a sexual or romantic couple. Didn’t you have that crush on Angel a couple years ago?
HAWKS: [Chuckles] . You’re full of shit. You know that?
DABI: The popularity ranks say otherwise, birdbrain. And I think you mean hot shit.
HAWKS: This is why people think we’re into each other.
DABI: Can’t help wanting to bug you a little. You’re a little more impatient than everyone thinks and I need to make the most of it whenever I can. How is it that you mask it so well, Hawks? Is it the libra in your chart?
HAWKS: Hey, easy there, I’m the one conducting this interview, buddy, even though I know I’ve been dodging almost all of the questions. It’s like they were hoping I wouldn’t notice it’s an exposé. The ones I asked made me feel icky.
DABI: Lemme see ‘em. [He grabs the papers, reading through them] .
HAWKS: Dabi… hey, calm down, man. You’re starting to smoke.
DABI: Everything is about my drinking, my scars, and my family. Who the fuck screened this? Is this some sort of joke?
HAWKS: Calm down, I wasn’t going to--
DABI: I’m not going to fucking calm down, [redacted] , this shit isn’t funny. Whoever the fuck wrote this, why don’t you try being a pro for a day, huh? You think you’re really doing something. You don’t understand how fucked up it is that I have to sit here every day and just take whatever people throw at me. I’m tired. Why does it circle back here? How come you get to be asked about your rescues and your brand deals and all I’m good for is problems--?
[Both mics are cut off. A pre-recorded ad read begins].
HAWKS: I have no clue what’s gonna come of this recording, but I really hope the unedited cut is released. In my own interviews, there’s a lot of filtering and hesitance, and oftentimes I end up dodging questions in some way. I’m apologizing to the listeners and to you, Dabi, for not handling the situation better. Are you feeling okay?
DABI: Ah, honestly, I’m not. But I see how my reaction was uncalled for. I guess I’m just hoping people will tone it down in the future. I’m a hero, and I know I do good. Let’s focus on that.
HAWKS: We will, man, I promise. Now that you bring up your work, I think it’s a great time to announce the reason we even agreed to be here, yeah? We can just cut it afterwards and get some lunch. Would you do me the honors?
DABI: [He hesitates, then chuckles] . How about I do you tonight? [A smack]. Ow! That was unnecessary.
HAWKS: Get to it, c’mon.
DABI: Alright, fine, yeah. I’m happy to announce that my agency, co-owned by fellow shithead Hawks, and our lovely dystopian-YA main character Angel, is expanding. We’re opening an office in Tokyo this summer, where I’ll be taking my interns and sidekicks. I hope to see you all there.
HAWKS: You can apply for our agency in the next few weeks! We will be sure to announce the corresponding dates for students and sidekicks, so stay tuned to our socials!
[A silence, followed by shared laughter].
DABI: Is that it? That’s everything?
HAWKS: I guess so. I don’t have anything else I want to say. Journalists and hosts, be mindful, we’re all sensitive. Any last words before we sign off, Dabi?
DABI: Uh… No. [Laughs] . It was cool talking to you, despite that last bit. It’s been a while since we’ve had time to just sit back and chat.
HAWKS: Been way too long, I was starting to think we’d become that type of friend that only sees each other at reunions. Well, that’s us for now, everyone! Thanks for listening! I hope we never do this again.
[Both men laugh. Closing theme begins].