Work Text:
A common misconception is that the Avengers team members only go through rough times whenever a crisis strikes. Like the alien invasion of New York City or the conflict surrounding the Sokovia Accords. But the truth is that even during moments of relative peace, the consequences of said difficult times can show up unannounced whenever.
That in turn can lead up to certain unexpected events like the one that happened one Saturday night at the Avengers HQ. While the team of superheroes was having a merry time during one of its recurrent gatherings –in this special occasion celebrating a short visit from Thor–, a rare moment of honesty struck the unsuspecting heroes. One that leads them to learn valuable information about each other as well as deepen the bond between them.
The team was having a jolly good time, catching up with the Norse God and with each other. But that wasn’t exactly meant to last long. It all kinda started with the young Peter Parker, who despite his cheery exterior, felt pretty shaken after some dreadful events he lived through earlier that day. He was in the middle of taking care of his usual Spider-Man business when the poor kid suffered a panic attack after accidentally getting stuck in a tight and confined space.
And even though claustrophobia isn’t a new fear of his, not after Toomes left him to die under a pile of debris, Peter still refuses to acknowledge that his phobia is acceptable. It’s that ardent feeling of denial that pushed him to keep mum about the subject and refuse to share that important bit of information with any of his friends, let alone his aunt or his teammates.
But despite Parker’s best attempts at keeping his worries and anxieties concealed, some of it inevitably started to bleed through his facade. Yet he soldiered on and kept denying that anything was wrong with him. So was the case that, whenever someone noticed that something was off about him and they asked about it, he just dismissed their worries as if they were nothing. He maintained a joyous demeanor at least while around other people, only for that act to crumble down once he was sure he was alone.
Now, in the middle of the little party at the compound, one astute and observant spy has caught a glimpse of what lies beneath the surface of the carefree teenage hero. Natasha can look beyond the mask and notice the cracks hidden underneath, which makes her concerned for the kid’s emotional wellbeing and stability. Without being too obvious about it, she slithers her way over to Peter in the stealthier manner she can manage, not wanting to alert anyone of what’s going on. Once she reaches him, taking a seat on a couch near the one the teen’s on, she quietly asks him if he’s doing alright.
At first, Parker is startled not only by the silent approach of the Russian woman but by the inquiry itself. When gauging her expression, he realizes that she’s honestly worried about him, and not just asking out of obligation or any kind of malicious intent. However, he brushes her off nonchalantly, assuring the Widow that he’s doing fine and enjoying his time at the party. Unfortunately, Peter holds the strong belief that, as a superhero, he should have no fears whatsoever.
Especially not one as “petty” (in his opinion) as claustrophobia. Something so silly and ridiculous shouldn’t even be a concern for him. After all, in the kid’s mind fears are just weaknesses that are detrimental to a hero’s performance. And that belief is so rooted in his head that he’s even sure that none of his fellow teammates have fears of their own. Least of all as dumb as the one he denies himself having. Alongside that, he’s convinced that if he ever brought up the subject, the other Avengers would laugh at him and remind him how childish he is.
Yet despite the teen’s internal turmoil, Natasha is able to sense that something is definitely wrong with him that night and that the poor kid is lying through his teeth in order to maintain an appearance of matureness and braveness. That’s when she decides to concoct a plan that, if skillfully pulled (which of course she will succeed in doing), will subtly turn the group’s conversation in a direction that will hopefully help Peter to come out of his shell. All she has to do is start steering everyone from one subject to another until they’re all on the same page.
By the time the Avengers finally settle down together and begin eating their take-out, the group of heroes gets into the particular topic of fears and phobias. Nobody is truly sure how they got to it, least of all Peter, but they can agree that the progression was natural enough. Nobody is even close to suspecting Romanov has anything to do with it. And that’s ultimately how the question “what are you afraid of?” gets passed around like a container of soy sauce. In the presence of colleagues, teammates, friends, and family, something like that isn’t anything to shy away from. They all feel comfortable enough to share such sensitive information about themselves.
Although at first, no one is willing to kick off the conversation, all of them are still clinging to what little pride they have left. When the question reaches Peter, he denies having any fears. After all, he’s Spider-Man, so he shouldn’t even be afraid of anything, to begin with. Yet the kid’s outlook on life as a hero begins to change as soon as Steve speaks up. The Captain, as perceptive as he is, noticed the underlying hesitation that showed in Parker’s answer, so he decided to break the ice in order to help the kid get the confidence needed to take some weight off of him.
Rogers is the first to comment on the topic; “I can’t stand being in water,” he quietly admits, referring to the plane crash that he survived but that left him sleeping in ice for seventy years.
Even when the revelation seems odd at first, given how many times before he has jumped out of airplanes into the sea without wearing parachutes, nobody dares question him or contradict him. For that, Steve is grateful, but he still feels the need to clarify for the sake of avoiding misunderstandings and doubts.
“And yeah, I know that I have jumped from planes into the ocean before, but I did it as part of the mission,” justifies the Man Out of Time, explaining his past actions by saying that he has done it solely out of duty.
Because he needed to act as quickly as possible, and given his Super Soldier condition, he saw no easier nor fastest way to approach the target than by taking such a risky and unpleasant exit.
“There are other things that I don’t like doing either yet I will under the same principle,” he explains further, tone solemn and expression somber.
“But, there are some things that I won’t do for missions or anything else, no matter what,” ascertains Steve with resolution.
Such an example is what happened in Washington with the helicarriers.
However understandable is Rogers’ management of his fear when it comes to his job as an Avenger, it does explain in part why he didn’t accept Tony’s invitation to cruise the Caribbean with him and some of the other Avengers all those months back. At least now Stark feels a bit more placated regarding that particular event. Because yes, of course, he felt hurt when Steve chose to go on a road trip to a national park instead of cruising on his yacht.
Steve’s confession seems to open up the dam that had been holding back everyone else from sharing. Once Cap is finished talking, Thor follows up with his answer, feeling encouraged by Rogers’ display of trust and confidence.
“I’m terrified of being alone,” confesses the Asgardian, a bit hesitant but feeling reassured by his friends.
“It can take as little as a day of solitude before I have to find someone, anyone, to talk to and spend time with. Otherwise, I feel like I can’t breathe nor move.”
He’s referring to the consequence of being banished to Earth by his father, as well as losing his brother more than once. Thor’s admission earns him a round of affectionate assurances that he’ll always have a home with them. That in turn puts a genuine –although somewhat sad– smile on the god’s face.
Then, to everyone’s surprise, it’s Natasha who decides to go next and reveal her deepest, and apparently irrational, fear. “I’m afraid of dogs,” she says, so quietly that some of the Avengers initially think they misheard her.
Yet despite her blank expression, devoid of any emotion, her fists are visibly clenched at each side of her body. Whatever happened that made her develop that fear, is a grave matter to not be taken lightly.
Fortunately, they all know better than to not take her seriously. After that brief confession, which surely took a lot of strength and courage (giver her usual secretive behavior), she doesn’t offer an explanation and no one dares to ask about any possible reasons. They all collectively decide to move on.
“I hate needles. Every time I have to get a shot, I end up throwing up later,” comments Clint, following the lead of his best friend.
Much like Romanov’s, his revelation goes without accompanying explanation and no one asks for it anyway. It was implied at the beginning of the conversation that they would uphold a safe space for sharing. No one is being forced, nor should they feel like they are, to confess anything, even less to justify themselves. Whoever wants to do so is welcomed, but no expectations are being held.
Wanda is next, telling the group about her fear.
“I hate explosives,” she mutters quietly but with bitterness, looking down to her lap.
That one is completely understandable and nobody even considers coming up with a possible reason as to why. They all know her story well enough to make the obvious connection. And, naturally, Tony feels particularly bad and responsible for that one, thus why he offers her a sympathetic smile that he hopes conveys how sorry he feels. It does, which prompts the Maximoff girl to smile back in a gesture of forgiveness.
Bucky and Blake, the other thriving couple alongside Wanda and Vision (who doesn’t participate given that he hasn’t developed any fears like his teammates have), actually share a few identical fears since they both share similar life stories and experiences.
“We both can’t stand the cold, being confined, and forgetting things,” comments the Sergeant for both of them, holding his girlfriend’s hand tightly in his own, looking to comfort the young lady as well as keep himself grounded.
The two of them have gone through a lot.
The last of the fears mentioned is the worst of them all. Whenever either of them forgets something, no matter how minuscule or inconsequential, they feel deeply disturbed and unsettled until they either manage to remember or they are distracted and calmed by someone else. It’s not easy for either of the former “lab rats”, but they manage to cope with it, especially since they found each other.
Scott, Sam, and Rhodey aren’t present at the gathering, they all had other commitments to attend to. Nevertheless, neither their absence nor Vision’s quietness make the whole ordeal any less important or impactful.
The team has taken a big step forward in building its members’ trust, fortifying the bond that they have been working on for years now. Needless to say, they all feel a little closer to each other and a bit more like a family after sharing their deepest fears. Still, there are two people left that haven’t shared with the group yet.
After a short silence falls upon the team once again, Peter turns his gaze in Tony’s direction. Regardless of how deeply moved and shocked the teen feels by all the revelations made by his teammates, he still clings to the idea that Iron Man wouldn’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, right?
The engineer has been through everything, and after all of that, he doesn’t even bat an eye at most things. That, in part, makes his mentor the one person Peter would like least of all to find out about his weaknesses. Because Tony trusts him and respects him, so if he knew that Parker is so afraid of something “so trivial”, he would surely–
“I’m scared of the dark,” says Tony with an almost imperceptible shrug, looking down at his hands, with his fingers loosely laced together on top of his lap.
His expression is somber but not sad. Gone are the usual play-pretend arrogance and smugness. And at that revelation, Peter’s mind –and perhaps even his heart as well–, stops for a few seconds. The kid even has to do a double-take, not fully processing what was just said.
Tony Stark is afraid of the dark. Something so simple and common…yet he’s scared of it. Iron Man is afraid of the dark, thinks the teen in astonishment, still unable to comprehend how that can be real. For a second there, he even begins to believe that the other man is just joking, attempting to lighten up the mood now that everyone has said their piece. But the longer he mulls it over in his head, the more he realizes that it doesn’t seem like Stark is joking at all.
A few more seconds of silence pass between the heroes before Tony notices the weird look on Peter’s face, which is being directed at him. The older man raises a questioning eyebrow at the kid, expecting an explanation for the other’s strange behavior, as well as his persisting silence.
Only then does Spider-Man realize that he has been staring in open shock at his mentor and hero. When he regains full control of his body, he gazes down quickly, feeling like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. The revelation that even the person he looks up to the most can have a fear so “inane”, is overwhelming for the young Avenger.
Taking a deep breath and doing his best to steel his nerves, Peter finally finds the resolution to share with his teammates what his worst fear is.
“I’m claustrophobic,” says the teen, teary-eyed and with a breathy voice but feeling relieved.
For the first time since his phobia developed, he’s opening up to someone else than himself about it. And it feels good, even freeing. Mostly because he doesn’t do it as a byproduct of any kind of peer pressure stemming from the others, but because that night he has discovered something truly important. That he can be scared and still be a hero.
That goes to show that having fears isn’t only completely normal (especially for heroes who live through so many challenging situations) but that it can be managed and doesn’t have to become an impediment. All of the Avengers are capable of carrying on with their tasks and missions despite their fears, which gives Peter hope that he’ll be able to deal better with it as well. With the support from the team and having recognized his trauma, the kid can now begin the process of healing.
After all of that, the party comes to a close with the exchange of a few hugs, handshakes, and pats on shoulders. The Avengers Family members feel even closer to each other than before, and each member feels a bit more accepted and comfortable amongst the others.
Having opened up with such honesty has cemented a sturdier trust that will surely help in the future whenever any of them need to seek help and comfort. And more importantly, they were all reminded that no matter what powers, technologies, or skills they possess, they are still people deserving of compassion and support.