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Lilly Evans crossed her legs and leaned back against the dusty pink velvet chair-back in Madame Puddyfoot's tea shop, delicate China cup in one hand, saucer in the other, and eyed her friends over the gold-piped rim of the floral porcelain.
"So, what's this about and why are you being weird?"
She cocked an eyebrow at Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadows, who squirmed and gave each other a nervous look.
Marlene was sitting on her hands, or trying to, in any case. In reality she was rocking from side to side, nervously shifting her weight from one hand to the other, and chewing on her lower lip.
Dorcas was chewing too, on her nails, on a toothpick out of the little pot on the table, on a coil of dark, shiny hair that had made its way out of the bun on her head.
Lily tipped her chair back just a bit, raising her other eyebrow to match her first, changing her expression from slightly suspicious to somewhat quizzical.
"Well, you know you're my best friend…" Marlene started, "and I would permanently transfigure my nose into a pig's snout before I'd keep a secret from you."
"And you know you girls are like sisters to me…" Dorcas continued, her big brown eyes flicking between Lily, Mary McDonald and Alice Fortescue, who were all looking quite worried now, glancing at one another silently questioning the others as to what their friends had to say that could possibly warrant calling them to such a meeting.
"Merlin's beard, you're dying!" Alice exclaimed, her cup and saucer clattering against the table as she clapped both hands over her mouth.
"Both of them? Really, Alice!" Mary snapped, also dumping her cup on the table with a crash. Turning to the two writhing witches she continued, "You're not both dying, are you?"
Lily put a comforting hand on Alice's shoulder and shot Mary a warning look, then she, also, turned back to the others and nodded for them to continue.
Marlene stared wide-eyed and speechless, but Dorcas sighed, and picked up where she'd left off.
"As I was saying, you're like sisters to me. Except, white, obviously. But I love you. We love you…" she smiled then, and looked at Marlene, giving the blonde a nudge.
Marlene snapped out of her state of shock at the touch of the other girl's elbow against hers, and smiled dazzlingly back at her. Her enthusiasm mirrored in Dorcas' widening smile.
She reached out and interlocked hers and Marlene's fingers, swinging their joined hands between their seats, as matching shades of red blushed their cheeks.
Now it was Lily's turn to clap her hands over her mouth:
"You're together!" She squealed between her fingers.
Mary and Alice whipped their heads around to gape at her, then back to their smiling friends.
The both of which were indeed still smiling, but having turned back towards their friends, they now looked nervous again.
Nevertheless, their hands remained intertwined and the look in their eyes remained hopeful.
" Together , together? Homosexually ?" Mary whispered, leaning in closer and shielding her mouth from lip-reading onlookers with the flat of her hand.
Marlene and Dorcas nodded vigorously, excitedly nudging each other's shoulders, blushing harder and smiling wider.
Alice let out a joyous squeak and jumped to her feet, practically throwing herself at the two witches to wrap an arm around each of them, followed in close succession by Mary and Lily.
For a moment they were a heap of giggles and happy cries, until they slowly became aware of other patrons casting glares of annoyance at them. They gathered themselves, still giggling, smoothed down their clothes and sat back down.
"So, tell us then," Lily probed, "how did this happen?"
"And when?"
"Who moved first?"
"OK, OK, cool it, you lot, we'll tell you!" Marlene held up her free hand to shush them, but there was no dampening her smile as she squeezed Dorcas' hand.
***
The spring term of their fourth year had flown by.
Quidditch try-outs had been held, and a reserve team of replacements for the graduating players had been established and trained.
The Wizarding Schools Potion Championship was held and lost to a seventh year student from Uagadu School of Magic.
James Potter threw the small golden ball into the air. At the apex of its arc it unfolded its delicate wings and summersaulted around their axis, before retracting them again, allowing itself to fall back towards the ground, where the youngster bounced it off the inside of his forearm, catching it in his one hand before repeating the feat.
They were sitting on the grass outside of Hagrid's hut, watching her potter about in her vegetable garden and enjoying the first warm rays of the season.
"I swear I'll be dreaming about tracking-spells," Peter Pettigrew groaned, dropping his head off of where he had leaned his chin in his palm and rolling over on his back in the grass.
"All I'm seeing is a maze in front of me when I close my eyes. Remus, switch with me."
"Roll," Remus Lupin replied, and threw a small wooden box, a matchbook and a gas lighter at his friend.
Peter fumbled momentarily but caught the werewolf's smoking-kit, rolling back onto his stomach and opening the little box.
"Pass me the map then." Remus held his hand out to take the piece of parchment from his friend.
It was intricately folded into multiple sections, with further subsections within them, and scrawled all over it was detailed schematics of various parts of the castle and its grounds.
Remus rolled up the sleeves of his too-big jumper. It still covered his arms down to the wrists, but left his hands free to keep scribbling away without smudging the ink. He sat cross-legged - knobbly knees protruding from frayed jeans - his gangly frame hunched all the way over, elbows on the ground, like a contortionist.
It was still too chilly for shorts or t-shirts, but Sirius Black sat with their eyes closed, face angled towards the sun, and taking in the warmth it did provide, their grown-out bob haircut pinned back with a large hair clip.
"Look how cool this is," James demanded, nudging their shoulder with his elbow. "I reckon Evans need to see this."
Sirius did not bother to even open their eyes to see whatever trick-throw their friend had invented, with his newly 'borrowed' toy.
"Unless you're choking on that thing she's not going to give you the time of day, Prongs, give it a rest."
"Look, can you take this seriously for once?" James snatched the snitch out of the air mid-trick and tucked it back into the pocket of his casual robes.
"You know, I actually do like her. You could be a tad more supportive."
"Mate, if you really do like Lily, you gotta stop with the obnoxious bravado," Remus remarked, without taking his eyes off the parchment.
"But I want to impress her, make her see that I'm cool , you know?"
Peter licked the rizzla paper and smoothed it down with his thumbs, reaching across the other two to pass the joint to James.
"She knows you're cool. And popular, and good at quidditch, and rich, and smart, and funny, and good looking. But so are a lot of guys, and she's friends with Snivellus, doesn't that tell you that those things don't matter to her?"
James let out the breath of thick white smoke he'd been holding in while Peter was talking, then took another drag as if to buy himself time to think before answering. He passed the joint to Sirius.
"But she's not together with Snivellus…"
"No," Remus interjected, "But she likes him, she wants him around. Your shtick is that you're popular, but Lily isn't looking to go steady with anyone based on one criteria alone."
"'Your stick'?"
"Why are you talking about his 'stick'?"
"His ' shtick ', idiots, his 'thing'."
"But why are we talking about my 'thing', Remus?"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, you know what I mean; his thing , as in, the thing about him ! You lot are exhausting, I don't know why I put up with you, I'm…!"
"Moony, calm down! We're sorry, man, don't blow your top."
Remus growled into his hands, his ears and cheeks glowing red, then snatched the joint out of Sirius' hand and inhaled deeply.
Sirius watched him out of the corner of their eye. They were silent for a while, letting their friend regain his composure, before Peter continued:
"What we're saying is, you don't like her just because of one thing, right?
Like, do you like her just because she's pretty? Just because she's good at potions? Or just because she's a girl?
Because there are plenty of people who fit just one of those categories."
"Exactly. Thank you, Pete," Remus picked back up. "Sirius is pretty, Snivellus is good at potions, McGonagall is a girl - you see where I'm going with this?"
James was silent again, his dark brow in deep furrows. He utilised his turn on the joint to stay as such a moment longer, as if he needed to gather his thoughts.
Of course there was more to his interest in Lily Evans than any one of those things. She was all of those things, but she was also kind and generous, assertive and opinionated, quick witted and headstrong. She was cool in a way that he could no more put his finger on than emulate, he had never met anyone like her, and he wanted to know everything about her, talk to her about everything, be around her all the time.
Peter and Remus were talking amongst themselves, having abandoned the subject of romance and returned to discussing the map they were meant to be working on. But Sirius was watching Remus.
They had visibly twitched when he mentioned their name, as if they'd been stung, or been suddenly awoken from a daydream, which wouldn't be the first time, but they hadn't said anything; and now they were just staring.
Their fair cheekbones flushed a delicate rosy shade which was reflected on the bridge of Remus' nose.
James shook himself out of his own musings, finally, and passed the joint to Sirius. He had to nudge his friend with his outstretched hand which held the smoking blunt to get their attention, but once it was out of his hand he stood up and brushed his robes off.
He stood for a beat, surveying the castle grounds, then he sighed.
"I guess I should let her know."
With that, he strolled over to where Hagrid was pruning dead flowers off an odd-looking tall herb to offer his assistance.
"Guess so…" Remus said, as if to himself. But Sirius could have sworn that he glanced their way, a glint of amber from under the tawny locks which obscured his face betraying him, if only briefly.
***
Gryffindor tower had erupted in a somewhat spontaneous post exam-season celebration.
As more and more O.W.L. And N.E.W.T. students received their grades they filed into the common room to finally let their hair down and breathe out for the first time in weeks.
The younger wizards were enjoying the snacks, brought from the kitchen by the Marauders, and playing games. They were mostly just happy that their upperclassmen had mellowed and stopped snapping at them for getting underfoot.
Of course, the prospect of staying up late, and maybe, just maybe being witnesses to some grade O messing by the Gryffindor prefect and his rowdy comrades contributed to the high spirits of the young students. The reputation of the Marauders were firmly established, and had not diminished since the appointment of Remus as prefect that fall-term. If anything; that, coupled with their completing their advanced magical Map, and of course, their skills as animagi, had allowed them to expand the repertoire.
One such feat, since their completion of the Marauders Map, as they had dubbed it, was being able to sneak into Hogsmead unsupervised, and distracting old Aberforth in the Hog's Head while swiping firewhiskey, dragonfruit cider and sour cherry wine.
According to the would-be thieves themselves they were in fact making a legitimate-adjacent transaction, as they always made sure to leave payment, including tips, for their purchases, and that the transgression really only went as far as circumventing the age-restriction in place.
Regardless, the alcoholic drinks were now available to the entire common room, as was the gramophone, which was currently on its third rotation of Bowie's "Diamond Dogs" album. Lily, Alice, Mary, Marlene and Dorcas were all dancing in a circle, teaching each other steps and gradually building up a choreography.
The Marauders had set up camp in front of the fire, where nimble-fingered Remus busied himself with rolling cigarettes, and James, with Peter in tow, were trying to invent a drinking game based around exploding snaps. The rules weren't quite clear yet, and Frank Longbottom had already had several cards go up in smoke in his hand.
Sirius watched them with mild amusement, while nervously glancing towards the dancing group of girls in the middle of the room. As if gathering momentum they hitched their glass of firewhiskey up to their lips and down again a few times, before throwing it back, slamming it down on the side table beside them and standing up abruptly. Another quick glance, this time at Remus, who had stopped mid-roll to see what the commotion was, a half-conscious half-smile later Sirius strode off towards the girls by the gramophone.
"Marls…"
"Siri, come dance with us!"
"I'd be delighted, Miss McDonald. Just a moment… Marls, can we talk?"
"Sure, hun."
Marlene hooked her arm around theirs like she always did, but her smile, bright as it was, didn't reach her eyes.
Sirius led them to the nook in the corner, where it was somewhat more private, and sat down, beckoning the pretty blonde to do the same.
She had painted both their eyelids in a matching shade of midnight blue for the occasion, and lent them a pair of her flared trousers.
The two were dressed alike, made up the same, only their hair was different - hers in a long braid down her back, and theirs, still, clipped out of their face with clips.
Sirius took her hand in theirs.
"Sirius, what's the matter?" She smiled reassuringly.
"Marls… do you like me for me, or just because I'm not a boy?" For a beat, they were both silent.
"I… of course I like you."
"But do you like me, though?"
"Why--"
"Because, when we snog… I mean, you never… because you said , you didn't want to be with a boy, and… I know we're friends, but the only difference is that we snog, really…"
"Do you want to… go further ?"
"No! I mean, I don't know. No, I don't, not right now…"
"Good! I mean, me neither, I've never…"
"Me neither, Godrick's gonads…"
Their faces were burning up, and they took a moment to breathe out a nervous laughter, before Sirius continued:
"What I'm saying is, I think your with me because I'm not a boy. And, maybe, you'd rather be with a girl…"
"Sirius I'm in love with Dorcas!"
They had expected her to take offence, maybe slap them, to get angry and call them a twat, instead she had grabbed their hand with both of hers and was holding their stare, blue eyes wide and searching, but determined.
"I'm sorry, I'm in love with Dorcas, I have been for ages, I didn't want to be, but I am. I shouldn't have strung you along, I really do like you, Sirius, you're one of my best friends, and I really didn't want to hurt you…"
Sirius snatched their hand back from her, only for the purpose of holding both hands up between them, gesturing wildly for the girl to slow down and take a breath.
"Marls, Marls, look - if you strung me along, then I strung you along as well. Being with you was easy, because we're friends…"
"Best friends!"
"The bestest! But that's just it…"
"We're just friends, though, aren't we, really?"
"I think we are. Not that that's a bad thing. Friends still share each other's records."
"And each other's clothes."
They laughed together again, their faces back to a warm blush, their hands intertwined. Smiling, Marlene leant her head on Sirius' shoulder, and they leant their cheek on her head, smoothing her hair down and making themself comfortable.
For another moment they sat there, watching their friends cut the rug. James and Peter had worked out their game, which now centred around bouncing the snitch off of the table and into a glass of whatever drink was being played for.
Without the prospect of having their fingers blown off it had attracted the attention of several six- and seventh year students.
Frank, however, had abandoned them to dance with Alice, who, in turn, had abandoned the girls' dancing-circle.
Finally, Sirius nudged Marlene gently.
"Go dance with her, then."
Dorcas was dancing with Lily, while some of the wizard-born students were trying to keep up with the steps to ABBA's Eurovision song contest winner. She was wearing a yellow long-sleeved dress that complimented her dark skin, and she had brushed her coils out so that her hair stood around her head like a black halo.
She was beautiful, Sirius had to admit.
"We cool?" Marlene nudged them back, then extracted herself from the crook of their neck, squeezing their hand.
"The coolest." they reassured her. "Go dance. I'm going to go rescue Remus."
Sirius nodded in the direction of the other Marauders.
Remus did indeed look in need of rescue, as he was staggering towards the stairs leading up to the dormitory, not under the influence of alcohol, but under the weight of both Peter and James, who, for their matter, were hardly lifting their feet, and leaned heavily on the werewolf, an arm each draped across his shoulders.
Marlene, who had stood up now, brushing the back of her jeans off, snorted a laugh, quickly covering her mouth with both hands.
"Merlin's beard! If they're sick at breakfast, McGonagall is going to know .
Remind me to get a full English - extra crispy bacon - or something just as noisy in the morning. No sympathy for weak bellies!
Now go, go before they topple poor Remus down those stairs."
***
"Did you say something to Potter about me?"
The door to the prefects' train compartment had slid open with a bang, startling the four students inside and nearly giving Paula Nowinski of Ravenclaw a heart attack in the process.
Remus opened and closed his mouth, but no words came out, so instead he just pointed to his own face, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
"Yes, you! He's been unusually nice to me, it's strange, what did you say?" She raised a challenging eyebrow back at him, crossed her arms and cocked her hip, leaning against the door frame.
Remus shook himself out of his momentary shock and cleared his throat.
"Nothing! We were just talking about…"
"Ah-hah!"
"...girls, in general…"
"Remus, what did you tell him?" she groaned, rubbing her forehead and glaring at him through parted fingers.
The boy sighed, shaking his head dejectedly. Then he got up and excused himself to the other three, ushering the annoyed redhead into the aisle between compartments.
Once outside, and with the door slid shut, she spun around and pinned him with a look worthy of Minerva McGonagall herself.
"Remus John Lupin, if you tell me you tried to advice Potter…"
"I didn't!"
"I will feed you to the giant squid!"
"We were just talking about what makes a person interesting to someone. If he's changed his behaviour it's not because he's acting on the advice of anyone else, it's just… him. Minus the bravado, I assume."
That challenging eyebrow was back, but as his words began to land, her harsh expression softened, more and more.
Still with an edge of doubt, she motioned to him to sit down, as she did, in the aisle of the train, back against the compartment wall on one side.
He copied her, taking a seat opposite her.
The narrow corridor was not quite enough to allow them to sit facing each other directly, but this way they could both brace their feet next to the other on the opposing wall.
His satchel bag which held the stash of emergency snacks was still sitting squashed against the wall on the bench seat where he'd left it. He wished he'd had it now. This was clearly going to be one of those sincere conversations they'd had many times before, and they required snacks, in his opinion.
As if she'd read his mind she opened her small muggle backpack and handed him a packet of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. She smiled gently, leaning her head against the wall.
"Is that what you see in him?"
For half a second Remus nearly choked on the tomato-flavoured bean.
"In who?"
"James, of course," Lily tutted, rolling her eyes, "who else would I be talking about?"
She gave him a poignant look, as if daring him to answer. She really was headstrong and fearless, but not so stubborn that she wouldn't see the good in almost anyone. Perhaps for better or for worse, he reflected.
"He's… a good guy, really." He started, ignoring her doubtful scoff, "he knows about my… furry little problem, they all do, but he's not afraid of me. And he's loyal to a fault. Sirius and their little brother got in trouble over Christmas break again, and he made his parents promise they could come and stay with them whenever they wanted, and he doesn't even know Regulus Black all that well.
He's had a very privileged life, but he'd share with anybody. He knows he's popular, clever, handsome, good at sports… but that's not what makes him a good friend. You'd like him if you got to know him, Lily, really."
He'd been looking straight ahead at his feet while he spoke, but now he tilted his head on his shoulder, facing her.
She was still deep in thought, chewing on the inside of her cheek and, like he had been, staring at her toes.
"I can see that, if I'm honest."
She turned towards him, and a wrinkle appeared between her brows, as if she'd just thought of something else.
"Sirius' brother… I've seen him around school with the likes of Rosier and Avery. You know they're planning to join the Knights of Walpurgis?"
"The Death-eaters? Rosier and Avery doesn't surprise me in the least." He frowned, subconsciously. "But Regulus; yes, we're aware. It's being handled, James and Sirius are planning a charm-offensive this summer." The thought of his friends doting on the younger boy smoothed his frown right out.
He had not been embellishing to Lily for James' benefit, he had too much respect for her, and perhaps also for himself, to do such a thing. They were respectfully honest with each other, and he liked that about them.
"Lily, aren't Snape friends with those lads, too?"
"Remus, please," She sighed, crossing her arms, they'd been down that road before and it was never pretty. But then she let her arms fall to her sides, and when she met his eyes she did look concerned. "I don't like it either."
"Since we're on the topic; what do you see in him ?"
"You know that, Remus, I've told you before. We've known each other forever, he helped me integrate into the Wizarding World, he stood by me when Petunia…" suddenly her voice sounded thick, and she raised her hand to cover her mouth.
"And you lot, you're awful to him!"
"Hey," he put a comforting hand on her ankle, squeezing it reassuringly,
"I get that. But he's a pureblood supremacist, Lily, they hate people like you and me - muggleborns, half-bloods - to them, we're worth no more than the dirt under their shoes, and muggles even less. To them, James and Sirius are blood-traitors and your sister is a vermin!
He may be nice to your face, but that doesn't mean he doesn't believe those things.
You heard what Dumbledore said, the tensions are only ramping up, and Voldemort's group is growing."
Lily's bright green eyes were brimming with unshed tears and her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly, but she held his gaze when she said:
"But Remus, if love can't save him, what can?"
***