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"Do you ever miss them?"
Kaoru glances up at Kojiro, brow furrowing in confusion. What on Earth is he going on about?
"Your piercings," Kojiro elaborates, pausing from wiping a glass to point at his lip. He finishes with that glass and sets it to the side as Kaoru mauls over his question.
It's been years now since Kaoru wore them, longer now without them than the time length he wore them. (But he won't ever forget that night Kojiro pierced his lip late one school night. His parents weren't happy the night morning, but Kaoru loved how he looked with it.
"Sometimes," he admits, not meeting Kojiro's gaze. However, that was a different time. Things changed.
"Ever think about wearing them again?" The questioning continued.
Kaoru rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, you know I can't - " He cuts himself off and peers up at Kojiro. He crosses his arms against his chest and stares at his partner from across the bar. "Why the sudden interest?"
He knew Kojiro wouldn't bring it up without a reason and he was going to get to the bottom of it.
Kojiro doesn't meet his gaze, which is unusual. The man was always confident and rarely backed down from anything. "I came across old photos of us the other day and was just thinking about them."
That was unexpected. Was Kojiro getting sentimental now that they were officially together?
Kaoru let the silence hang in the air for a moment. "Do you want to see me with piercings again?"
The blush rising on his partner's cheeks says it all. Kaoru keeps his expression neutral although the thought of Kojiro being into it sparks excitement in him.
"There's no way that's happening. My clients would not look kindly upon it," Kaoru says, picking up his wine glass. Even if he wanted to wear them again, he has a new reputation to uphold now.
As he takes a sip, Kojiro says, "It doesn't haven't to be a real one."
Kaoru swallows the wine and fixes him with a hard look. He's really been thinking about this. Is that what he wants? he thinks.
"You missed a spot on that glass," he says, changing the subject, as an idea forms in his mind.
He buys it online so it's shipped directly to his house, saving him the embarrassment of buying one in person. Someone his age buying something like this would look ridiculous, he's sure. However, that didn't damper his curiosity to see what he'd look now with it.
Kaoru lets it sit in its package on the table until the evening, ignoring it. After the takeout containers are tossed from dinner, he finally walks over to it and opens it.
The fake lip ring looks similar to the real one he wore and should do the trick. He carries it to the bathroom. After washing it, he holds the ring up for a close inspection. It appeared okay enough to wear.
Kaoru meets his gaze in the mirror and sighs. "I'm going to look absurd with this," he says to himself. There's no way he could pull off this look now.
He slips the ring over the left side of his lip where the real piercing hole was nearly non-existent now. The slight pressure felt odd at first. Kaoru looks back at his reflection, focusing on his mouth.
He expected it to look goofy on him but it actually looked... good. Despite not having all of his former piercings in, he's taken back to his youth and starts feeling like his old self again. Those carefree days before he took over the family business come rushing back to him. Skating and learning new tricks with Kojiro, causing trouble around town, ADAM...
Kaoru shakes his head and ends the reminiscing right there. Some things are better left in the past. However, that doesn't stop other thoughts from forming.
Has he gotten boring now? Would his younger self be happy to see him like this? Does Kojiro think that and that's why he brought up the piercings? Did he miss how he used to be?
Well, there was only one way to find out.
Kaoru doesn't tell Kojiro he bought the fake lip ring. Otherwise, he probably wouldn't go through with wearing it the next night he goes over to Kojiro's apartment. Plus, he wants to see wanted to see Kojiro's surprised face.
A week passes before Kaoru decides to go through with wearing it. Kojiro hasn't mentioned it again since that day either.
As he waits outside Kojiro's apartment, Kaoru fidgets with his yukata sleeves. He's starting to question the fake piercing, thinking this is all just a joke on him, but stops himself when he hears a noise on the other side of the door.
Kojiro opens the door, the usual cocky greeting ready to go, but there's only silence.
They stand there, staring at one another. Kojiro's eyes are specifically on Kaoru's lips as he leans against the door frame.
"Are we going to stand here all night or are you going to let me in?" Kaoru asks, tapping his foot. But on the inside, he's loving Kojiro's speechless reaction.
That knocks Kojiro back to reality. "Huh? Oh yeah, come in," he says, backing away from the door.
Kaoru enters without a word, acting as if nothing is different. Kojiro doesn't stop staring as he removes his shoes.
"I like you more when you don't talk," Kaoru teases. "But it's rude to stare."
Before he could take a step further into Kojiro's apartment, the other man finds his voice again.
"You... Did you get that done?" Kojiro asks, closing the gap between them.
Kaoru scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Do you really think I'd go out on a whim and get my lip pierced again?"
Kojiro doesn't reply as he reaches out towards Kaoru's face.
Kaoru is silent as he watches Kojiro's hand draw close. His gaze goes back to Kojiro's face and he wasn't surprised by the soft expression. He remains still as Kojiro cups his jaw and runs his thumb over the piercing.
"It's fake?"
That earned him an eye roll. "Of course, it is. That was your suggestion after all." Kaoru starts to pull away, unsure of what to do with the attention Kojiro is giving him
Kojiro quirks an eyebrow at him. "I did?"
With a huff, Kaoru said, "If you're going to make fun of it then get it over with." Was this not what he wanted after all?
There's a shift in Kojiro's eyes as he pulls his gaze up from Kaoru's lips to his eyes. There's no humor in his eyes but hunger.
Kaoru feels heat rise on his cheeks. Is he really this into the lip ring?
Kojiro brings his other hand up to grab hold of Kaoru's hip to keep him in place as he stepped closer.
"Can I kiss you?"
The question takes Kaoru by surprise. Not that Kojiro never asks for permission, but that he wasn't expecting this to be happening this quick.
"Yes," he replies and doesn't wait long for Kojiro's lips to be on his.
Kaoru's hands find their way into Kojiro's hair as their bodies press together. They're quick to fall into a rhythm since they're quite accustomed to the other by now.
Kojiro runs his tongue across Kaoru's lips before pulling his lip between his own. Kaoru can't stop the little moan that slips out. That spurs Kojiro on more.
Kaoru feels Kojiro press forward, nudging his body backward. It only takes a second for his brain to catch up to take a step back. He's familiar enough with Kojiro's apartment that he leads them over the couch. (The bed is ideal but the couch is much closer.)
With some maneuvering, Kaoru is stretched out on the couch with Kojiro above him. It's a tight fit but at that moment, neither cared. This is one thing Kaoru looked forward to while he was healing and he wants it now.
Kojiro pulls away and gazes down at Kaoru. There's a softness to his expression that only comes out when they're alone together. This face is reserved only for Kaoru.
"I've always wanted to kiss you while you wore the lip ring," he says, rubbing his thumb over it again.
Kaoru gives a light shove to his shoulder. "That's ridiculous. I only wore it way back in high school."
"I know," he confesses, meeting his gaze.
Kaoru's mouth drops as he processes what his partner said, too shocked to hide his surprise. This was new information to him. Despite their evolving relationship over the years, not once had Kojiro said he liked him in high school. And at this moment, Kaoru isn't so sure why it's such a shock. But why did it make his stomach flip like he was back in high school with a crush?
"You - you what?" he sputters.
Kojiro sighs, pulling away as he shakes his head. He leans back towards the other end of the couch, resting his arm across the back of it. "You had eyes for someone else back then so you probably didn't notice."
There's no obvious malice in his tone but the words still stung. The name is left unsaid, but they're both fully aware of who he means. Kaoru nods in acknowledgment as he pushes himself up to lean against the armrest. He pulls the lip ring off and sets it on the table beside him.
A tense silence fills the space, killing the vibe their little make-out session created. He's aware he harbored his feelings for ADAM for too long, but the man in front of him meant more to him. Kojiro is no longer looking at Kaoru and he doesn't like that.
So, Kaoru kicks him in the side.
"Ouch!" Kojiro yelps as he looks back at him. "What the hell was that for?"
"Why didn't you say something back then?" he demands.
Kojiro doesn't answer right away, rubbing his side, which frustrates Kaoru. He was being hesitant with his words again.
"Use your words, Kojiro, and talk to me. We're both adults now, whatever you say is fine."
Kojiro shrugs. "I don't have much of an answer. Back then, I never gave much thought to what the growing feelings meant. By the time I did, I saw you already fell for him. So, why would I say something to jeopardize us?"
His expression softens, the way it only does when they're alone, and Kaoru can see a hint of sorrow in his eyes. Or perhaps regret
Kaoru is the one not to reply as he reflects on their relationship. They've taken a long, long road to get to where they are now on this couch. They've known each other for so long now, longer than some committed couples their age, even if they only recently started referring to one another in such a manner. (It took a serious trip to the hospital to put that in motion.)
They've been around the world together, bickered with one another but always been at each other's side for so many years. But it wasn't until this very moment that Kaoru understood just how long Kojiro had loved him.
Kaoru had been the biggest idiot of them all without realizing it. How did he miss what was right in front of him this whole time?
He shakes his head and says under his breath, "You idiot."
"What was that?" Kojiro asks.
Kaoru doesn't respond as he moves across the couch to Kojiro's side. He rests his head against Kojiro's shoulder to hide the growing blush across his face. He feels Kojiro's arm wrap around him and rests his hand on his hip.
"You still could have said something," Kaoru says deflecting. "You throw yourself into crazy skate tricks and flirt so easily with everyone else, but you can't tell me how you feel?"
"You're one to talk." He smirks, easing the conversation back to their usual tone. His thumb rubs circles against Kaoru's hip. "I was afraid of losing you if I was honest with my feelings if you didn't feel the same. But after you beef with ADAM, I realized I couldn't hold back anymore."
"Kojiro, I... I'm sorry it took me so long to understand how you feel."
Kojiro lifts Kaoru's chin up to face him. "It's okay, Kaoru. What matters is right now."
He shifts his body so that he can lean in to kiss him. It's a slow, lazy kiss, unlike the previous ones. Kaoru reaches up to cup his jaw, deepening the kiss.
It doesn't take long for Kaoru to be bored of these slow kisses and pulls away briefly to swing his leg over Kojiro's lap. It's his turn to lead as he leans back in for a hungry kiss.
Later that night as Kojiro brings the blanket around them, Kaoru moves in close to him; chasing his warmth.
"I can't believe you liked that fake lip ring so much," he teases as he closes his eyes. He feels Kojiro's chest rumble with laughter.
"What can I say? You look hot with it." After a pinch to his chest, he yelps. "Why'd you do that?"
"Are you saying I'm not without it?"
Kojiro rubs his hand up and down his partner's back. "Of course not. I think you look the best now in my bed," he says with a wink.
Kaoru sighs as he buries his face into the crook of Kojiro's neck and shoulder. "You're insufferable," he says with a smile.
"Yeah, but you still love me."
Kaoru hums in agreement. "I"m not boring now, am I?" He hates how insecure he sounds to ask, but he has to know.
He feels Kojiro tighten his arm around his waist. "Not in the slightest," he says without hesitation. "You always amaze me, Kaoru."
Kojiro presses a kiss to the top of Kaoru's head. "I love you no matter what," he says as he settles back onto this pillow.
There was no point in wasting time lamenting the "what-ifs" that could have been for them in the past. Or worrying about the opinions of people that don't matter. They are together now with their future ahead of them, and that's all Kaoru could ask for.
Kaoru smiles even though Kojiro can't see it. "I love you, too."