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Chuuya when he would finally sober up completely a few weeks later would be surprised about how well he could function while drunk despite being a lightweight, however to get to that point he has to live through the next few hours after he and Elise leave his apartment.
He still had to admit his biggest regret aside from all the Dazai shit he didn’t even want to get into was leaving his motorcycle behind. Chuuya was kinda pissed about that one.
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Elise didn’t know what she was doing but Chuuya stood on top of the car that she was driving. Well by all technicalities she was flying it, but now wasn’t the time to get hung up on technicalities. Chuuya was using his gravity manipulation to make the car fly. It was horribly bumpy and terrifying, however it was the best way from keeping them from being tracked. If it wasn’t for Red Velvet being blasted from the stereo but they couldn’t be blamed for that. It was a necessity and they were both having what might as well be a mid-life crisis with what their life expectancy is.
She still wasn’t quite sure how everything came to this but she blamed part of it on her not being a real human being and Chuuya being utterly blackout drunk. At the moment she was letting Chuuya keep drinking and staying drunk because she was quite honestly worried about how he would react when he sobered up.
Did she sorta take advantage of him?- yes, but she looks twelve so she’ll abscond free in court and Chuuya will never be able to resist her puppy dog eyes so she didn’t fear retribution from anyone but Dazai.
Quite honestly, neither of them really thought that Chuuya would be able to fly a car like this but if it was the liquid courage working then Elise wasn’t going to complain. Mori had an untouched safe house in the outskirts of Yokohama that she knew had gotten to or knew about. As long as Kouyou didn’t rat her out too soon than Dazai wouldn’t think about Mori’s old properties or even try to uncover this one.
“Chuuya?” Elise spoke up after a few minutes of flying, as she glanced to where he sat in the passenger's seat.
“Yeah?” He replies, turning to face her.
Elise takes a big deep deep breath as she attempts to turn in the flying car to follow the possibly inaccurate GPS directions. “We’ll figure things out okay. We’ll do something, go somewhere that Dazai can’t can’t get to us okay.” She says shakily, not entirely sure herself. Elise may have accidentally signed their death warrant and moved up the execution date.
“You don’t have to lie to me, it feels patronizing and I'm not sure if that’s because this is crazy in general or because you look like a literal child still.” Chuuya trails off as he takes another sip of his booze. “We should burn all the pedophiles.”
“I’m down with that.” Elise hums in agreement. “I hate pedophiles.”
“We could get cute ass lighters too, and wear em’ on a chain.” Chuuya adds as he tilts his bottle of booze towards her. “And burn all those motherfuckers’.”
“That would be a fun idea.”
“At least Dazai got rid of Mori.” Chuuya adds with a sigh, “he might be an asshole but at least he’s not a pedophile.”
“Your boyfriend requirements are low if that’s good for you.” Elise mocked him, not really wanting to think of Mori or that she was suddenly a real person. “Maybe we can set you up with a decent guy for once.”
“Maybe my type is toxic and doesn’t actually love me.” Chuuya replies as he leans back into the car seat.
Elise couldn’t help but cackle at that. “That wouldn’t surprise me.”
Chuuya huffed as he changed the topic of conversation from his dismal romantic life. “How long should we hide out at the safe house?”
“Depends on how much food Mori had stored there.”
“Fuck.”
“I second that.”
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It took another half an hour of on and off small talk before they finally made it to vaguely where the GPS told them the safe house was and then once Chuuya landed the car back onto the ground another twenty minutes of driving to get them there.
“Well, that doesn’t look too bad.” Chuuya spoke up after a moment parked out front.
Elise made an uncommitted noise in response. “I’m not actually sure how we’ll get in.”
“That’s not ideal.”
“Nope.”
Elise made the first move to get out of the car and head towards the front door of the midsized one story suburban home. Chuuya took another swig out of his bottle before following Elise.
“How much of a chance do we have of the key being under the doormat?” Chuuya asks as he jumps up the steps of the house.
“None,” Elise states as she reaches into the flower bushes at the front of the house until a clunk is heard and the girl pulls out a small metal box. “It’s in the bushes.”
Chuuya sighs as he throws his hands up in the air. “Fuck that, unlock the house so we can get the garage open. The sooner that we can pretend nothing has changed the better.”
Elise immediately went to open the door. “That is a good point. Open the garage and I’ll pull the car in.” She explains throwing the key and box into Chuuya’s hands as he went into the house and Elise headed towards the car.
The two quickly got as settled as they could in their current situation, keeping blinds closed while figuring out what weapons they had, before finally eating a quick meal of their rations and holing up into the master bedroom for the night. Any and all fears put on hold to bask in the aftermath of what they just did.
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The pair had enough rations for a month if they used it wisely, and thank fuck for the fact that Mori thought ahead and the master bedroom had streaming services, because other than stalking any information lead to see how close Dazai was to find them. The pair cut their hair and watched bad T.V. hoping inspiration hit for their next step until the three week point hit and their solution came to them.
Quite literally came to them, by crashing into the house.
Elise and Chuuya were binge watching Sailor Moon when the car crashed through the front window. The pair lurched from where they sat eating microwave noodles. “The fuck?” Chuuya cussed out as they both jumped at noise and headed out towards the cause of the commotion. Chuuya had his ability activated and Elise had a dagger in her hands.
“Let me go first, I’m less recognizable if this is an accident and if it isn’t you still have better long range attacks than me.” Elise explains as Chuuya gives a hum in response.
In their abundant spare time, Chuuya helped Elise shave the sides of her head and cut her hair by a few inches as well. At the moment the mop of long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail showing off the shaved sides behind her bangs. Mori was always very specific on how he wanted Elise to look so she was more than happy to start hacking away at her hair the first chance she got, however Chuuya had enough sense to try for something stylish. Though, Elise did manage to convince him to stop trying to grow out a rat tail for his hair and instead go for an undercut which she thought was a win. At the moment she wore her normal leggings and shoes more out of necessity than anything and an old t-shirt of Chuuya’s that he packed into the car. Thankfully Chuuya wasn’t too much bigger than her because then his shirt only hit above the knees and with a belt it fit well enough until they had a chance to go shopping for real clothes. Chuuya himself found himself in the clothes he wore before he joined the Mafia, hoodie and all.
“I thought you said you knew how to drive!” A voice screeched out from what Elise could only assume was the wreckage of a car as they turned the corner. The voice seemed a bit familiar but she couldn’t place it but it was distinctly feminine.
“I lied,” another voice popped up alongside the slamming of a car door, this voice more masculane than the other.
“You should be so thankful for my ability.” The first voice, a woman Elise decides to speak up again. An ability user then, not great but nothing they couldn’t handle.
They turned the corner into the living room where the other pair was. Elise was thankful for the hodgepodge of Mori’s memories that she assumed she got out of the power of osmosis she guessed, no matter how gruesome some of them are as she stared into the face of a woman she never thought she would have to face. “Yosano Akiko.”
“Huh,” Chuuya turns to Elise with a questioning look on her face as the pair of strangers immediately face them as well.
A sword was immediately flung up in their faces. “And how do you know my name? I don’t think I’ve made your acquaintance.”
Elise quirked an eyebrow as she made a shooing motion at Chuuya and took a step closer to the other pair. “Technically, I’m the manifestation of Mori Ogai’s ability, but fuck him because he’s dead.”
“Damn.” Yosano replied simply as she slightly lowered her weapon. “Who-”
Yosano began to speak again but was interrupted as the other figure pushed his glasses up his nose and opened his eyes as he yelled. “Special Ability: Ultra-Deduction!”
“The fuck-” Chuuya mutters as he looks between everyone in the room.
“It appears you both are running from the Port Mafia,” He then turns to Chuuya. “Y-”
Elise claps her hands together to get their attention. “Well regardless, I think we all have to get the fuck out of here, so get your shit and get your ass in the car.”
“I’m still con-” Chuuya began to speak as stepped closer to the group.
“Get your ass in the car.” Elise repeats again, cutting off Chuuya causing him to huff, as she moves to grab their go bags, the rest still in the car. Yosano and the other male eager to follow as the carcass of their car was undrivable.
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The next half an hour found the unlikely group in a flurry of movement as they found themselves airborne in the car and being shot at.
“May I repeat myself and say, what the fuck.” Chuuya states, the only reason why he wasn’t getting violent was due to the fact that he was busy using his ability to keep the car flying forward which was the only reason why they hadn’t been hit yet, but he was quickly growing too tired to keep it up for much longer.
Elise lets out a curse as she swerves the car in mid air as their pursuers appear right beside them.“I can't believe we got unlucky enough to have a guy with a teleportation ability after us.”
“What’s worse is now these motherfuckers are going to think Elise and I are working with you now.” Chuuya adds. “If we even survive this. “What the fuck do you two even do? Elise might know Ya- or whatever your name is but I still don’t.”
“You could start working with us. We can consider this your entrance exam.” Ranpo pipes up with a slight grin.
Chuuya scoffs as he turns to face them, his voice close to a growl. “Entrance exam? What is this middle school? And that still doesn’t answer my questions.”
Ranpo lets out a laugh. “Bold of you to assume I went.”
“I didn’t either.” Chuuya retorts.
“Neither did I. '' Elise pipes up with a giggle as she sends the car into another dangerous spin to avoid gunshots. Though thankfully it seemed their pursuers were very low on ammo as their attempts as shooting them have become much farther apart and more calculated than when the chase started.
“Same.” Yosano adds with a chuckle. “I suppose, we are all flunkies.” She jokes even though that is very far from the truth for all of them.
“Is this really not the time!” Chuuya growls out as the car dips down again taking out a few road signs before lifting up again and turning to face the front again. “I’m all about childhood trauma but back to not dying right now would be nice.”
Ranpo lets out a slight hum as he pushes his glasses up higher onto his nose. “We only have one option left.”
“Which is.” Elise drawls out questioningly the stress of the situation starting to get to her as well.
“You two must join the armed detective agency.” Ranpo explains with a clap of his hands.
Chuuya growls out a reply as he slams a fist down on the dash in frustration. “What n-”
“We agree.” Elise interrupts Chuuya loudly. Any organization they could get affiliated with at the moment was an improvement for them even if their information on them was non-existent, but Elise was willing to back on the fact that Yosano would be anti-mori at least.
“That is great. We could use more people.” Yosano muses as she adjusts her cleaver in the cramped back seat.
Chuuya scoffs as he rubs a hand over his face tiredly causing a slight dip in their altitude before it picks up again, “Clearly.”
“Yosano message Fukuzawa so his ability will apply to them, or well to the red head, and then since my ability is always correct he should be able to take control of the teleporter’s car from a safeish distance.” Ranpo directs from the backseat as he moves to look between the two front seats through the windshield.
“Safeish?” Chuuya quirked an eyebrow. “I just ran away from the mafia and have been holed up for the past few weeks, I’d rather not die on my first day of fresh air.”
Yosano slaps him on the back slightly. “Well lucky for you my ability brings people back to full health from a mortal wound so as long as you don’t die on me quickly I can heal you.”
Chuuya pauses for a moment his mouth opening and closing as he turns to face her. “That is actually very reassuring.” He speaks finally.
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“Elise slow the fuck down!”
“Did she just use the car like a bowling ball?!”
“Does flying manslaughter count as a crime?”
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A few smashed cars later, a major power up, and more booze than should be allowed at a shoot out the group of four find themselves driving what is left of Chuuya’s car to the front of The Armed Detective Agency.
“We are never doing that again.” Yosano speaks up, the use of her ability made sure that the four of them weren’t pressed for charges as they were technically fighting a crime group.
Chuuya merely hums in agreement as Elise brings the car to a stop. “I don’t know about you guys but this was the most fun I’ve had in a while.”
“I’m sure.” Ranpo murmurs the last hour or so even too much for him.
Yosano lets out a soft huff as she opens the car door and begins to head out. “Well, let’s introduce you two to the boss and get you settled in.”
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“Welcome to the Armed Detective Agency.” a voice cut through the silence as Chuuya tried to reign back his astonishment.
“The armed what now?”
“I suppose that you weren’t informed but I believe all of this will work in your favor.” Fukuzawa explains as he passes Chuuya a cup of tea.
Chuuya glanced down at the cup giving it a sip. “What’s the alcohol content?”
Yosano frowns as she moves around the desks. “None, don’t you think you’ve had too much?”
“I’m sober right now.” Chuuya explains as he searches his pockets for his flask.
Fukuzawa narrowed his eyes. “No you are not. You just drank a bottle on the way here.”
“I’m still too sober for anything.”
Yosano raised a brow, “That sounds like alcoholism to me.” She pointed out with a frown.
“Tomato - tomato. I want booze.” Chuuya rebuffers as he gives up searching for the flask with a huff.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, you’re still drunk.” Fukuzawa tells him.
Chuuya sighs as he gulps down the tea, the literal burn a bit of a comfort as it was as close to booze as he would get at the moment. “I just told the guy i was fucking... Well i didn’t tell him you told him that i just kinda broke up with him. I need more to drink.”
“You and Dazai were fucking!” Yosano exclaims, stumbling as she did so.
“Sadly,” Chuuya sighs as he slumps into his seat.