Chapter Text
There was nothing left for him now; the home he had found in that one person, lost to him forever. It had disappeared from his life before now, but not like this. Before there had been hope that it could be recovered, that one day he could once more find his place in this world, but now that hope was shattered. Ground to dust when the Testa-Rossa had pierced Crow's chest through, taking Rean's everything with it. He had lived on though, following Crow's instructions to keep moving forwards, even when each day without the other boy was more painful than the last.
The final nail in the coffin however, had not been the knowledge that the Chancellor was still alive; though that had been a harsh pill to swallow, to know that the revenge that Crow thought he had finally succeeded in accomplishing, had been nothing more than a lie. No, the final nail was the knowledge that the reason Crow had not succeeded was because of him, Rean. Because Rean, not Giliath held the older man's heart within his own scarred chest.
Because once upon a time, Giliath had been a good man, had loved his son so much that he had sacrificed himself to save his son. Had literally given up his life and heart to make sure that Rean lived to see another dawn. He hadn't known then that he would not die in that moment, hadn't known that the one he had made a deal with would take him over, use him and keep him 'alive'. Had Giliath known, had he only realised just what he was doing, perhaps he would have let his son die that day rather than trap them both in this cursed existence.
The scream that tore from Rean's throat as the truth was revealed to him by a smirking Giliath, was enough to cause his class mates to step back abruptly. The sound was so guttural, so tortured....Rean sounded like he was dying; like the knowledge was tearing him apart from the inside. How would he ever be able to face Crow in the afterlife?
His hands rose up, one going to grip his hair in a tight grasp as the other clawed at his chest in desperation. It looked as though he was trying to claw the cursed object from within himself, his nails digging uselessly into his clothing. Rean's knees buckled beneath his weight as his lungs screamed out for oxygen, even as the sounds that escaped him tapered off into whimpers. Jusis and Gaius rushed forwards to catch him as unconsciousness finally descended upon him; the last thing he saw was Giliath Osborne, his father's, smirking face.
“Do you wish to change the past?”
“Yes.”
Rean's eyes flew open in shock, breath leaving him in a rush as awareness flooded his senses once more, choking back the screams that threatened to spill forth from his lips. Gone was the place Giliath had called them all to, gone were his friends and his enemies both. Instead, Rean found himself on a train bound for who knows where, and wearing a long forgotten, but familiar red uniform.
“Next stop Trista. Trista. Please have your luggage at hand and be ready to disembark. The train will stop for five minutes.”
Rean jolted at the automated voice, a sense of deja vu hitting him as he watched dozens of similarly dressed students in green and white hurrying to gather their belongings. Almost in a daze, Rean found himself grabbing his tachi and bag, stumbling on shaking legs off the train and out into the warm Trista morning air. He froze as he took in the scene before him, everything exactly the way he remembered it being the first time he had arrived several years ago.
The thud against his back, accompanied by the dull thump of a person falling, were not entirely unexpected, and Rean was unsurprised to see Alisa sitting upon the ground behind him.
Was....was everything that had happened before merely a dream? Was he dreaming right now? Rean pinched his thigh as he helped the blonde girl before him off the ground, making sure not to call her by name before she even told him. It wouldn't do to give her an even bigger impression that he was a creep by knowing her name already; after all she had come to that conclusion all on her own not twenty four hours from now. The sharp pain he felt in his thigh shocked him, his mind already racing....Maybe if....
Everything played out exactly like how he remembered it, or imagined it had happened before. The small group of students left sitting in the auditorium while everyone else left to find their classes; the friction between Machias and Jusis; heading towards the old schoolhouse for their orientation. The floor dropping out from underneath their feet.
This time though, Rean did not end up beneath Alisa, instead managing to grab a hold of her and keep her from slamming face first into the ground. He himself landed in a balanced crouch upon the floor, instincts long ago learnt helping him not to stumble. Instead of the slap and weeks of uncomfortable silences and awkward miscommunication, Rean was thanked profusely and given a sweet smile.
Oh...oh no. Rean remembered that smile of hers. Remembered how after their misunderstanding was cleared up, how Alisa had tried to grow closer to him. He hadn't understood her intentions at first, and it was only over a year later when an exasperated Elise had explained to him what was happening that Rean finally worked it out. He had felt terrible once he knew, never realising that his actions were sending the wrong signals; hadn't known that his cluelessness could get him into so much trouble. But he had never once felt that way about Alisa, only ever seeing her as a friend – a close friend – but a friend all the same.
This time their group did not spilt into girls and boys, with Jusis and Machias both heading off on their own in a huff of anger; this time, Rean found himself traversing the old schoolhouse with Gaius, Elliot, Machias and Alisa. While Emma, Laura and Fie ended up trailing after Jusis just in case their aid was required.
This...was different, Rean realised with a shock. This isn't how things had happened in his memories....in the future (past?) that he had lived before. And that knowledge made him think, and he started to wonder if he would be able to change things from happening the way that they had last time. Had Aidios realised her mistake and given Rean a second chance to make things right? Had she finally realised the terrible blunder she had made letting the wrong person die that day? Rean had never thought it was right that he had been spared – he didn't deserve it, not after everything he had done – and those a lot more worthy, had not been.
Crow. Crow hadn't been spared, even though he should have been. Even though he should never have been in that position in the first place and it was Rean's fault that he was because he was keeping the Chancellor alive....
Oh he wasn't foolish enough to believe that he could convince Crow to give up his plans of revenge – no they didn't have the same close bond now that they used to have, and even then Rean hadn't been able to turn him from his path – but perhaps Rean could do something to change the outcome. Something to keep Crow from dying in the Infernal Castle, the Chancellor smirking down at his limp form as he revealed himself to be still alive. Maybe this time Rean wouldn't be used as a tool to further spread war and hate, wouldn't lose nearly every single part of himself to someone else's whims.
But perhaps, if he used the knowledge of what he thought would happen in the future, Rean just might be able to prevent a tragedy from happening. That was, assuming that it all wasn't some fever dream that Rean had thought up as he lost himself to his own madness.
Regardless of the changes that he had already caused though, they still ended the exploration by fighting the Gargoyle, linked as one through the arcus'. Instructor Sara still asked them to choose if they wished to be a part of Class VII, and everyone still joined, though some of their reasons may have been different. Rean couldn't really remember anymore, the knowledge lost long ago, buried beneath more important information and memories.
Somehow, even with these so called memories of the future, Rean still managed to get suckered into becoming Instructor Sara's go to gopher for all of the things she couldn't be bothered doing herself, and getting tricked into becoming a part time member of the Student Council. Though perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing, he mused. It might give him more chances to interact with Crow than he might have if he had turned the opportunity down.
It had been a couple of weeks already since Rean had arrived at Thors, and not once had he managed to catch even a single glimpse of Crow yet. He had kept an eye out for the older boy, but somehow Rean kept missing him; either that or Aidios was just playing with him. As disappointed as Rean was though, he knew that it wouldn't be too much longer before Crow approached him on his own.
Standing before the student union building, Rean could feel the thrum of anticipation racing through his veins. Just moments from now, he would appear before him; healthy and whole, hiding his true self, but still just the same caring person, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He blinked slowly, eyes falling closed to hide the turmoil clearly shown within them, a feeling of desperation and worthlessness overtaking the giddy joy he had been feeling moments before. Did Rean even have the right to stand before him now? Now, knowing all that he did?
He didn't have a chance to work out the answer to those destructive questions, before that longed for voice broke the peace that had fallen.
“Hey there first year!”
Crow. It was Crow's voice, jovial and bright; not strained and fading like the last time Rean had heard it.
His eyes snapped open, gaze roving hungrily over the figure standing before him, needing to confirm with his own eyes that he was alive. Blinking rapidly, Rean almost missed the moment when Crow offered to show him his 'trick', handing over the 50 mira coin absent-mindedly, and ignoring the slightly concerned look that was shot his way. He didn't realise just how strange his behaviour seemed to be, too lost in his spiralling memories to notice or care.
He'sherehe'sherehe'sherehe'saliveohgodsAdioisdon'tletmebedreaming.
“Hey there, you keep staring at me like that and you're going to make me blush.” Crow's words startled Rean out of his daze, his wandering lilac gaze shooting up to meet playful crimson. “There we go. Now watch closely ok?”
Crow flipped the 50 mira coin in the air, but instead of watching it like he was supposed to, Rean reached out both of his hands; one cupping the side of Crow's face tenderly, the other catching the falling coin in his palm as it fell between Crow's outstretched hands.
“I'm glad that you're alive Crow.” Rean murmured, taking the coin and placing it in Crow's loose fist. Rean pulled away from the gobsmacked older boy, a small, sad smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he turned to enter the building behind him. “You can keep that 50 mira to remember me by. I promise I won't even charge you interest on it.”
Crow sputtered in shock free hand rising to rest on the place Rean's hand had touched, even as Rean disappeared, wondering a few things about the dark haired boy who had caught his interest. One, just how had Rean known his name? And two, how had he seen through his trick? No one had ever caught on the first time before! Finally....three. Just why had there been so much sadness in his gaze as he stared at him; so much emotion that Crow was almost scared to name? As though he was looking at a person raised from the dead, at someone that they had never thought to see again.
Crow shook his head in confusion before heading off on his way again, hand curling around the 50 mira that had been placed within. He'd have to keep an eye on that kid; something told him that he could cause a lot of problems for Crow in the future.