Chapter Text
My hand hovers over my phone, once again debating whether or not to text her. I mean, she’s my best friend, but that doesn’t mean I have to know everything about her. And still I can’t stop thinking about just what the fuck happened last night and why she never bothered telling me. I mean, she kissed Yoohyeon on my birthday. I knew they were friends, but they’re both my friends, too, and neither of them trusted me enough to be upfront with me. I was just unlucky enough to walk in on them.
what happened with you and yooh last night lmao
I delete the message and draft another.
so,, when did you guys get together?
Delete.
on my fuckin birthday???
God, I’m pathetic. I delete it again and toss my phone across the room. I don’t even know why I’m so upset about what happened. I thought we told each other almost everything, and she just had to drop this bombshell on me on my birthday? Am I more hurt by her not telling me, or by the fact that I found out in such a shocking way? She never even said anything after, she just pushed Yoohyeon away and stared at me. So I left, and she didn’t text me to check in or stop by my house to stay over like she was supposed to. I groan and bury my face in my pillow. How am I supposed to face her again on Monday?
Once more, I consider texting her. I pick up my phone and force myself to exit my messages and open my browser instead. How to confront a friend? I click through articles of those tacky self-help bitches telling me to just be more confident and try to be honest and open to whatever I receive in response. One article tells me to consider just why I’m so upset, and if my problem is really with my friend.
“Fuck you,” I whisper, flipping off my phone. Maybe it’s right, though. Is it my fault? Maybe I didn’t give her enough opportunities to be honest, or maybe I made her feel like I would judge her. Of course I’d never judge her! If she had just told me she liked Yoohyeon, or even just that she liked girls , I would’ve supported her. I exit my browser and stare at my home screen, which is a zoomed in picture of her face covered in paint. She makes a kissy face at the camera and pokes her cheeks with her fingers, smearing more paint across her face in the process. I sigh. How did I even manage to befriend someone this amazing? She’s smart and kind and beautiful and funny… and I’m so pathetic for being sad over her. We’ve been best friends for years, and I’m a shitty friend for being bitter about last night. If she wanted to tell me, she would’ve done it whenever she was ready. But why Yoohyeon? Of all of our friends, she just had to choose the one person everybody knows is practically perfect? How am I ever supposed to compete for her attention now?
Am I gay quiz?
Christ, this is stupid. I would know, right? I shouldn’t need some stupid quiz to tell me something I should know about myself. I would’ve known a long time ago. I click on the first link and begin the quiz. I get to the end and the page crashes, so I go back and click another link. Its answer is bullshit. So is the next. I shouldn’t trust randos on the internet, anyway. I open another tab and consider my next search.
How to talk to pretty girls?
About a million links flash in my face at once. Talking tips, conversation starters, and one link at the very bottom that reads, Want to know what she’s thinking? What you’re like through her eyes? Learn more.
That’s sketchy as shit.
Click! The website opens to some early-2000’s style love calculator: two clipart hearts with a text box on each of them and a third heart in between them that spins around slowly. Why the fuck am I doing this? I click the first text box and enter my own name. Kim Bora. Then the second. Lee Siyeon. Finally, I click the stupid spinny heart in the middle.
The page glitches out for a second before my screen goes black with nothing on it except for the words, Request complete.