Work Text:
Emperor Belos paces his throne room, pondering an imminent crisis:
The crusade against wild magic is almost complete.
You see, the Titan’s Will is for its children to have a common enemy, to give them unity and purpose. Once upon a time, that common enemy was the scattered kingdoms, republics, and city-states who stood against the Titan’s Will (and against Belos’s growing empire), and Belos’s subjects gladly united behind their crusading warlord as his armies marched across the land, stamping out heresy (and resistance) as it went. And after Belos unified the Boiling Isles and crowned himself Emperor, the Titan told his prophet that the Boiling Isles needed to subdue the wild witch threat within. And so Emperor Belos spent five decades sponging, purging, and where necessary blasting wild magic from the surface of the Boiling Isles.
But now, wild magic has almost been extinguished. How will Emperor Belos carry out the Titan’s Will when no common enemy remains?
And pragmatically… Belos’s government has been obsessing over wild magic for five decades. By now, the machine runs mostly on its own. Only a few weeks ago, the Abomination, Illusion, and Oracle covens teamed up to bring in a gang of wild witches - and Belos first heard of the operation after its dramatic failure. And of course, most of the Emperor’s Coven’s leadership are witches who cut their teeth on wild witch hunts.
Emperor Belos has absolutely no idea what his subordinates will do when they run out of wild witches to arrest, and he’s afraid they will turn their attention towards brutal infighting and savage power struggles that will undermine his regime - if not destroy it.
And so Emperor Belos ruminates on the approaching end of wild magic, as he has done so often before. If only he had forseen this crisis sooner, he could have better prepared... as his thoughts proceed along that well-worn track, he absent-mindedly traces a magic circle in the air. He barely pays attention to his spell that causes a three-dimensional to-scale map of the Boiling Isles to rise from the floor, twenty feet long and with mountaintops that rise up to Belos’s chest. He casts his gaze across the model of his domain, and focuses intently on another spell. Another wave of his hand covers the map in shimmering dots.
One for every wild witch on the Boiling Isles.
Belos’s attention drifts to a brown dot not far from Bonesborough: The Owl Lady, Lillith’s sister. She and her accursed house demon have held off a dozen assaults and ambushes, and Emperor Belos has almost given up on arresting her. Old age will probably take her before the Emperor's Coven can. Lillith, leader of the Emperor’s Coven and Belos’s right hand witch, has recently suggested some kind of swap: perhaps Edalyn would come in quietly if the Emperor promises to heal her curse. Belos suspects this is some sort of plot. Lillith claims she cares about her sister’s well-being… but he knows who cursed the Owl Lady.
Belos’s attention drifts to a cluster of red dots in the Knee: The Kennet Gang . Which the Abomination, Illusion, and Oracle covens tried and failed to bring in a few weeks ago. Now Abomination is blaming Illusion for providing bad concealment; Illusion is blaming Oracle for providing bad intel; and Oracle is blaming Abomination for providing too little firepower. Belos hopes he won't have to intervene in the brewing conflict.
Belos’s attention drifts to one of the great cities of the Shoulder. There’s a conspicuous lack of yellow dots. Sadly, it seems Goldstein’s Brotherhood has finally been taken in.
Belos is running out of time. He needs to find a new common enemy for his subjects, to fulfill the Titan’s Will and to keep his administration from collapsing. Emperor Belos doesn’t trust his right-hand witch, whose rivals keep suffering mysterious accidents , but the rest of the Emperor’s Coven leadership is worse. There’s Odysseus Stanton, the insanely popular general who oversaw the legendary siege of Vicksburg Castle; and there’s Malia Ngo, with her shameless ambition and bizarre fear aura; and there’s “Wild Bull” Halsey, who’s infamously reckless, outspoken, and violent; and there are many others. For now, at least, anyone too ambitious to let be but too influential to execute on trumped-up charges is being distracted with back-to-back wild witch hunts. But Emperor Belos shudders to think of what could happen when there are no wild witches left to hunt.
What to do?
Perhaps it would be better to bend, and not break?
Belos considers the idea. Lots of witches have staked their careers on the wild witch hunts, and would be upset if they ended - but Emperor Belos spends so much money on the wild witch hunts, and there’s never enough money to go around. He could cancel the hunts, use the savings to bribe off anyone he needs to keep happy, and arrest complainers he doesn’t need to keep happy. Lillith Clawthorne’s grasp on the Emperor’s Coven would be in danger, but Belos could make an… arrangement … with one of her rivals, and help them overthrow Lillith. With enough effort, Emperor Belos and his regime could survive a transition to peacetime.
NO, booms the voice of the Titan. The voice that first spoke to Belos so long ago, when an assassin’s poison left him bedridden and hallucinating. The voice that’s been speaking to Belos, and to Belos alone, ever since. Peace will be the death of demonkind. Hard times make great witches, but good times make soft ones. My children need a common enemy to give them unity and purpose. Do you not see the path I have laid out before you?
Chastized, Belos resumes his pacing.
After several unproductive minutes, Emperor Belos hears rapping at the doors to the throne room. He casts a quick spell, and sees in his mind’s eye Kikimora, standing just outside his throne room, carrying a stack of letters almost as tall as herself. Belos already knows what she’s holding: today’s quota of decisions he needs to make and problems he needs to solve.
Oh Titan, why does running the Boiling Isles consume so much time ?
Emperor Belos opens the door with a flick of his finger. Without even looking at Kikimora, he declares “I’ve been expecting you. Do put those papers on my desk, and then see yourself out.” She looks around the deskless throne room in confusion, until a lavish desk, intricately carved and covered in inkwells and quill pens, rises from the floor. His assistant waddles to it, gingerly sets the papers down, kowtows, and leaves Belos in peace.
Emperor Belos goes to this throne, sits down, and begins the day’s work by casting a spell. The desk is many feet away from the throne, and Belos isn’t even looking at it, but nonetheless a handful of pages peel off the top of the stack and flutter to the end of the desk. The spell tells Belos that it’s an appeal from the Blight family, seeking money to build a canal on land they own.
Belos spends so much time bribing off people he needs to be kept happy. And he needs to keep the Blight family happy. They are the Emperor’s Coven’s only supplier of certain rare potion ingredients, and he needs to respect their newly forged alliance with Lillith. (An alliance sealed by her mentorship of their youngest daughter, Edric being too young for an arranged marriage.) Belos can’t ignore this request without upsetting key supporters, but there is never enough money to go around.
The Emperor decides he’ll have to eventually pay the Blights off, but delays a final decision until he has reviewed the rest of the stack of papers. Another wave of his finger and Belos has read the next letter on the stack.
It’s from Hieronymous Bump, complaining about a new tax levied on the school he runs. Now, the money Belos uses to bribe supporters comes from taxes on those he can afford to upset, and Emperor Belos can afford to upset Bump. Probably.
Bump is just a schoolmaster, and one with an unfortunate habit of making decisions that are good for Hexside but bad for the Emperor. Unfortunately, Bump has, through his school, a line of communication with most of the noble families. He could all too easily use their voices to magnify his own.
After pondering the situation for a few minutes, Belos realizes how to turn his own weakness into a strength, and Bump’s strength into a weakness. Without moving a single muscle, he magically pens a letter to the Blight family.
Most Honorable Odalia Blight,
I was quite pleased to read your proposal for internal improvements on your land. We truly execute the Titan’s Will when we work to perfect his Isles. I look forward to a more detailed proposal, itemizing how you will spend the funds you seek and explaining why this is the best use of our regrettably scarce resources.
Incidentally, I recently received a letter from our mutual friend, Hieronymous Bump, who is upset about the land tax Hexside Academy pays. I would be very grateful if you could convince him to set aside his selfish concerns for the common good. After all, funds are tight, and there is never enough money to go around.
It’s very blunt, compared to what Emperor Belos usually writes. He isn’t happy with the wording, but he can edit it tonight and send it out tomorrow morning.
Emperor Belos suddenly starts reminiscing about the good old days. Back when Belos was unifying the isles, his subordinates were too busy looting the countryside to demand bribes. Things were so much simpler then, when Belos could focus on the next battle to win and everyone followed orders without complaint.
But there’s no point in nostalgia.
Next item on the stack.
It’s a report on recent… drama... at the Conformitorium. The Owl Lady raided it last night, stole one of the Human artifacts stored there, and staged a prison break to boot.
This might be a good pretext to sack Warden Wrath. His usefulness is on the wane, and Belos can think of plenty of individuals who need a bribe and have relatives or allies on the shortlist to replace Warden Wrath. But then again, Wrath still has his uses. He may abuse his authority (and the prisoners) with impunity, but he’s careful never to do anything that would provoke actual oversight. He embezzles rather little, all things considered, and he makes sure his lackeys don’t solicit bribes from anyone important. (There’s a passage about Warden Wrath trying to extort the Owl Lady into dating him, but that’s clearly mudslinging put in by-
Suddenly, Emperor Belos notices the word human in the report. As in, “the Owl Lady’s human apprentice created a distraction by freeing several prisoners… ”
A human? In the Boiling Isles? How did it get here?
And suddenly, inspiration strikes like a flash of lightning. Emperor Belos knows what he will do when the crusade against wild magic is complete.
He realizes: We know so little about the humans or the human world. We do know the humans are very similar to us - similar enough we can predict how they would react to… provocations.
And we know the humans are very different from us - different enough that we could easily see each other as threats.
The Titan suddenly asks, in its deep, booming, voice, Do you see it now, my prophet? Do you finally see the path I have laid before you?
The Owl Lady’s “human apprentice” could only have gotten here through some kind of portal to the human realm. If Belos can get his hands on that portal...
The Titan’s Will is for its children to have a common enemy, to give them unity and purpose.
The humans are destined to be that common enemy.
Plans unfold in Belos’s mind. Not for an invasion of the human realm - too many would see an invasion in terms of gain and loss, and anything less than a quick victory would invite discontent.
But an invasion by the human realm? By an enemy from beyond reality itself, come to conquer lands witches have lived on for millenia, seeking to destroy us and our way of life?
That is the Titan’s Will. The ultimate common enemy. For the most magnificent purpose, and the most unshakable unity.
There is much to do. Belos needs to prepare the Isles by launching a whisper campaign of human suspicion, and he needs to crush wild magic for real, and that will have to be celebrated with a ceremony with a dramatic-sounding name, and he may need to interview the human apprentice herself - but when the groundwork is completed. . .
Emperor Belos will get his hands on that portal to the human realm, and he will commit some atrocity that provokes the humans into invade the Boiling Isles, and he will manipulate his subjects into thinking the humans attacked unprovoked, and the war - and his reign - will last forever.
Emperor Belos begins to feel an emotion he hasn’t felt in five decades.
He feels hope.