Chapter Text
marauders 💯💯 :
10:23AM
paddyboi: i swear to fucking god Peter Pettigrew if you don’t get your arse over here right this second i will fire you.
the rat: u don’t have that power
paddyboi: ah so you are alive, good to know
the rat: why do i always fall for that?!
paddyboi: im not kidding where are you, i can’t keep covering your shift, especially not at rush hour
the rat: maybe if u got off your phone.....
paddyboi: Peter.
the rat: okok sorry i was revising for my Spanish test i’ll be there in 10
paddyboi: thankyogjdn
the rat: ...?
paddyboi: sorry, moody snatched my phone away from me >:(
jamsiedornan: i honestly cannot stand either of you.
the rat: yk u love us
big cook, little cook:
10:25AM
lil lily: Remus where are youuuu
lil lily: it’s been ten minutes and im boooreeeddd
lil lily: i am this close to leaving rn
my giant: imnestioythere
lil lily: am i supposed to try and interpret that or....?
my giant: im nearly there im running
lil lily: why- yk what i don’t wanna know
my giant: the bus wasn’t coming
lil lily: bus?? you live 5 minutes away!
lil lily: oh you didn’t... not again??
my giant: .......
my giant: i may have overslept by a teeny weeny bit
my giant: i overslept by an hour ok?!
lil lily: Jesus lupin, you really need to sort yourself out
my giant: i know i know but it’s hard!! look, i’ll be there in 2 minutes and i’ll make it up to you
lil lily: how?
my giant: i’ll buy you candy floss
lil lily: yay!! ok i forgive you :)
my giant: i like that you forgive for food
lil lily: candy floss <33
marauders 💯💯 :
10:30AM
paddyboi: HOYLSHUT
jamesiedornan: .....
10:40AM
jamsiedornan: it’s been 10 minutes pads are u alive??
the rat: BWAHAHAHAHA JAMES U MISSED IT OHMYGODAHAHAHAHAHA
jamsiedornan: what the hell happened to you two?!
the rat: NOT ME JUST HIM CANT TYPE BUSY CRYING
jamsiedornan: istg if one of you DOESNT spill right now im not letting you use my flat for parties for the next two months.
the rat: OKAY OKAY GIVE ME ONE SECOND IM COLLECTING MYSELF
10:43AM
the rat: whew okay im good james u will not BELIEVE what just happened!!
jamsiedornan: where’s Sirius??
the rat: he’s face down on the floor out of embarrassment
jamsiedornan: oh god this is gonna be good.... spill!!
the rat: ok so this brown haired dude in a jumper walks into the cafe and im standing behind the counter working like a good employee
jamsiedornan: weren’t you late?
the rat: that’s beside the point so this brown haired dude in a jumper walks in
paddyboi: Peter you’re downplaying it
jamsiedornan: you’re up!
paddyboi: Peter told me he was telling you so i had to make sure he was being accurate
the rat: i cannot believe u don’t trust my integrity! ANYWAY so this brown haired dude in a jumper walks in
paddyboi: you’re underselling it. an angel clad in knitwear graces my life with his presence
jamsiedornan: i can’t stand either of you
jamsiedornan: ...go on
the rat: and Sirius sees him and goes red as a tomato like even redder than old Slughorn went that time we made that exploding marinara sauce trap
jamsiedornan: ah that was a good day, continue
the rat: so he approaches the counter and
the rat: oh god this is too good
the rat: and this idiot goes to ask him for his order, and it comes out “can i take your number”
jamsiedornan: oh my god
jamsiedornan: AAHAHAHAH THIS IS BRILLIANT
jamsiedornan: what happened next?!
10:50
jamsiedornan: ....guys?
10:52
the rat: sorry i had to hold back Sirius he was trying to quit
jamsiedornan: PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME IM GOING TO CRY
paddyboi: glad you two find pleasure in my misery
jamsiedornan: sorry mate, please do go on
the rat: so i, hero that i am, decided to save his sorry arse and pushed him away and was like “sorry for my friend he‘s a bit of a twat and took his order”
jamsiedornan: and that’s saving him?
the rat: yes
paddyboi: im never flirting with anyone ever again
the rat: that was you FLIRTING?!
paddyboi: i swear im usually better at this
jamsiedornan: i know you are, i’ve seen it
jamsiedornan: god, you must really be in love, huh?
paddyboi: how can i be in love?? i don’t even know his name
the rat: it’s Remus
paddyboi: HOW DO YOU KNOW-
the rat: it’s my job
paddyboi: do you just make it a point to know everyone’s names?
the rat: no it’s literally my job, we work at a coffee shop. you take their orders and their names.
paddyboi: oh. well why didn’t i hear??
the rat: u were flat out, not even your parents could’ve reached u
paddyboi: please they were the first people i learnt to tune out
jamsiedornan: damn right
11:14
the rat: oh my GOD
jamsiedornan: what happened??
paddyboi: ...... he left me his number