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Once upon a time, billions of years ago, before the concept of time even existed, there was nothing.
Well, nothing and Her.
She had no name yet, for there was no one to call for her, no need to differentiate Herself from anyone else.
And, for a while, it was great. She floated around in the Ether, happy to keep Herself company, discovering the worlds She had inside Her head. Then, at one point, it all became terribly dull.
You see, there was nothing to look at. There was nothing to do, nothing to pass the time. There wasn’t even time itself. She wondered if She was experiencing some sort of what would one day be called “mid-life crisis”.
She decided that She wasn’t. She wasn’t living per se, and her existence would never reach a middle point.
Maybe this was just some sort of normal crisis. She was very entertained by the thought. It was a new experience, after all.
And She would be sure to have all kinds of those from now on.
…
She decided that the first thing to be done was to get some company. She had the outline of the worlds She wanted to create, but She also longed for the experience of creating those worlds with others, and so, Her children came to be.
The first one created was Michael, who had a fierce heart and would be sure to protect Her prized creations. Then, there was Lucifer, her Morning Star, who loved to listen to Her projects, his eyes twinkling. And once She started, it was almost like She couldn’t stop. Little by little, Her Heavenly Choir grew, based on her wish for them to never feel as alone as She had once felt.
She built them a city, one that lit up with the glow of Her presence, so that Her children would never be alone in the darkness. She gave them a hierarchy and purpose. She wanted every bit of the worlds that were to come to be handcrafted with care, so Her children helped her with the job. To some, she gave specific guidelines to follow, and to others, left it open to their own creativity, always supervising and vetoing creations, but also having fun with Her angels how She could.
She had a feeling She might not always be able to enjoy such a thing.
…
It was an issue of ethics. At least it would be, when some angel in a perfectly tailored suit invented the concept of work ethics[1]. She simply did not feel right looking at her children’s futures. Sometimes she got glimpses of it, of course, but purposely looking just felt wrong, like if she were reading their diary or something. Not that any of them had diaries. She quickly discovered that, as perfect as her children were, very few of them would have the creativity to write two phrases sewn together, much less an entire diary.
Her children liked too much to just follow what she said.
That was alright, She thought. It must be. There was nothing wrong with just following rules, was there?
There were a few of them, however, who were very good company.
One of them more than the others. They were a young soul, but neither too young or too old for it to be worthy of note. Their peers seemed to have, angelically and carefully, placed themselves as far away as they could from their seemingly unending questions.
Proper angels didn’t ask that many questions.
God, however, really liked that about them. It gave Her the perfect opportunity to wax poetic about Her favorite things, that soon became their favorite things too. So She took them under her (metaphoric) wing. She saw their aura, shiny and colorful and characteristic of an artist, so they were the first one taught how to make stars.[2]
That She was watching them make what would be called The Pillars of Creation when She had a marvelous new idea was, honestly, just a coincidence.
…
Something was brewing, She was sure of it. She didn’t know what made Her feel quite so tense, but by the time She started to suspect it, it was already too late.
The news of her newest creations was spreading fast. Of course everyone knew that the little creatures and things they were instructed to make were to be placed on a little rock ball, orbiting some common star[3]. And then, they discovered what the cherry on top of this whole project was.
Humans.[4]
There were to be beings, similar to the angels themselves, but with a greater amount of Free Will, designed to be curious and creative and free to ask questions and live their lives free of having to obey God’s every last whim[5]. More importantly, they Loved.
Love was, in and of itself, not supposed to be a surprise to the angels. Of course they Loved their Mother. She had made them, in all Her wisdom, and they Loved her for it. And praised Her, and sang heavenly choirs on her honor on thursday nights. It was less of an emotion, and more of another box to tick on their task list. It was just what an angel did.
For them, Love was a thing reserved to Her, and now She wanted to debase them by letting the humans love left, right and center?
Only one being was so brave as to voice their opinion out loud, though.
…
She found The Artist, as She had started to call them, for they had not yet picked a name that fit, one afternoon, tired of hearing whispers of rebellion every time She turned Her back.
She had a feeling whatever it was going to happen, it would be big, and She could not stop it.
The feeling of uselessness was new to Her, and She wanted to get rid of it.
She found them working on a new project. It was unfinished, but with the first look at it, She knew it would be one of Her favorites.[6] They were working on a couple of stars right now, designed to be at the center of a galaxy.
“Why did you never let us?” they asked, their voice low and unsure.
“What do you mean, my sweet?”
“Why did you not give us Love too?” their voice raised a tone from anger. Then, as if remembering they were arguing with God Herself, a whisper followed “Sorry. It’s just so lonely here all the time.”
She did not know how to respond to that. It was the closest any child had ever come of seeking comfort from Her. To say She was flabbergasted was underselling it.
“I know they don’t like me much, you know? Angels, it turns out, are really bad at hiding when they are displeased.[7] It’s alright, but so lonely. I thought all of us felt like this, maybe? But now you’re saying me Eve gets to have Adam to love her forever. Neither one will ever feel alone, or unloved…” while distracted by their rant, The Artist accidentally nudged the stars the wrong way.
“Oh this is just perfect. Now even these bloody stars will never be alone. That’s a binary system right there. The humans have one another, and now even the damned stars have company, but never me-“
And then the weirdest noise came from the angel.
A sob.
No angel had ever cried before, much less felt into a sobbing mess in front of their Mother.
She never felt more like a mother before. So, She took the little crying angel in Her arms and cradled them, and hummed sweet nothings as She ran Her fingers through their hair. They settled, after some time, but She did not let go.
She understood, in that moment, what was coming, and how She would lose Her favorite child. Neither side would accept them by Her side after his questions and the bad company they were bound to be keeping.
In the little time She held The Artist in her arms, She mourned for the child that would come to resent Her. In that moment, She wished She could pray that those perfect times spent together would not be lost in their memory.
She hoped they could forgive Her someday.
…
When The Artist fell, and rose in a brimstone pit with blacked wings and took the name Crawley, God allowed Herself to let a tear drop in their memory. Just one.
After all, there were things to do if Her plan was to work at all.
…
When She was deciding on the Guardian Angels for the Garden of Eden, She stumbled upon a kind hearted angel, that, much like Her Artist, seemed just a little out of place by the side of the likes of Gabriel and Michael. He had a light and colorful aura, and everything about him told Her he would make a perfect Guardian.
She hoped he would be able to keep The Artist safe.
She gave him a flaming sword, and decided not to pay much attention on what he would do with it.
...
[1] And then some lucky devil would create the HR department and receive a commendation for it. If said demon had flaming red hair and could do really weird things with his tongue, we cannot divulge.
[2] Even if that first one came out a bit wobbly, God taught them to love it anyways. Nobody would look very closely on it for what She had planned, and it looked properly fetching from afar.
[3] One of the first questions asked was actually “Why this nobody planet and not one more known for its scenic placement? Why not something more interesting?”
[4] Or, as most thought, but none spoke, Angels2.0.
[5] She started losing the angels after asking for a platypus. I can’t fault the angels for that.
[6] Not that She would ever admit to play favorites.
[7] Bit of a fundamental error on their creation right there, right?