Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

On the first day, Sapnap is late. He’s supposed to show up at the end of Karl’s stream so that he can walk into the room with no announcement and scare the shit out of Twitter. However, as Karl sits, entertaining Lil Nas X and messing around with his friends, Sapnap is nowhere to be found.

Karl finds his attention straying from his screen to the phone next to his mouse. Its screen remains dark, and he’s double-checked his messages countless times in the past hour. He wonders offhandedly if his anticipation is tangible to chat, if they’ve noticed that something’s up. Maybe they’re still blissfully unaware.

Sapnap had almost spoiled the surprise the day before, unaware that streams were starting and rambling on about how long the flight would be. Karl had shushed him just in time, but the few words that chat had caught might have been enough to tip them off. Karl hopes that they suspect a simple stream instead; the bigger the surprise the better.

It’s almost half an hour after Sapnap was supposed to arrive when Karl’s phone buzzes. He mutes on Discord (are his hands shaking?) and reaches for his phone, almost afraid to look.

sap: my flight was late, be there in twenty

Karl exhales. Just a delay. It’s okay. It’s okay! No big deal. He types a response, fixing typos as he goes.

karl: all good man! see you then! :]

The typing sign returns and a new message pops up.

sap: also don’t feel like you need to stay on stream until I show up, you’re probably exhausted. we can just stream together tomorrow and surprise them

A smile forms on his face at Sapnap’s consideration and he likes the message before shutting his phone off and turning back to chat. He’d love to stay and pull off the surprise but he can feel his eyes drooping and it seems as though everyone else is wrapping up.

Karl takes a second to describe the next Tales episode to chat, allowing himself to drop a few hints. He thanks a couple more subs and then pauses.

“My next stream is tomorrow,” he says, looking up at the camera, “and I… I think you guys are gonna like it.” He tries to force his face into some form or neutrality despite the giddiness that threatens to bubble up, and turns back to read the chat again. No mention of Sapnap. Looks like they’ve pulled it off.

“Yeah, I think you guys are gonna like it,” he repeats, fidgeting with his rings and glancing down at his phone once more. “It’s a pretty big one in my opinion.”

Before he can go too far, drop too many hints, he forces himself to host Sam and end stream after thanking his viewers once again and blowing a kiss to the camera.

And then it’s over. Karl pulls his headphones off of his ears and slumps back in his seat, the silent room starkly different from just moments earlier. He takes a second to stretch out his legs after sitting for so long, and then picks up his phone and checks the time.

Ten minutes until Sapnap shows up. If Karl’s being honest, he doesn’t quite know what to expect; they’re close, obviously, they’re good friends. But they don’t talk constantly like Dream and George, don’t spend huge amounts of time together outside of their streams. He can’t help but worry that they’ll be awkward when they meet face to face in- nine minutes now. His leg is bouncing like crazy and he’s biting his lips and shit, is the guest room clean?

He rises out of his chair to check, knees popping (god, he really needs to take breaks from sitting or he’ll be arthritic by his thirties) when the doorbell rings.

The doorbell rings.

Without thinking, Karl walks out of the room and down the hallway towards the front door. He pauses with his hand hovering next to the knob and takes a second.

God, his heart is pounding. Was it like this when he met Alex for the first time? He can’t recall if he felt as though his lungs were going to combust then too, if his upper lip was sweating and his mind was whirling.

Of course it was, he decides. Meeting online friends is always scary. The moment when you first see each other, when you determine how you’re going to make the transfer from digital to physical, when you pick between hug and handshake, that’s terrifying every time. It must be.

Karl realizes that he’s still standing before the door like he’s made of stone and, before he can change his mind, he pulls the door open.

And there’s Sapnap.

He looks so different from his last stream with facecam, over three months ago. Karl doesn’t know why that’s his first thought, but seeing someone in 2d for so long and then all of a sudden they’re a three-dimensional human being standing on your doorstep with a suitcase (with a Dream sticker on it, Karl notices and decides to store the fact away for a good stream joke) and they look so real.

Sapnap smiles, his eyes narrowing, and he raises a hand from the handle of his suitcase to sort of wave at Karl.

“Hi,” he says.

Karl snaps out of it and steps out onto the front porch next to him.

“Hi,” he says, feeling a grin form on his face. He opens his arms and goes in for a hug and Sapnap huffs, obviously not expecting it, before awkwardly sort of patting Karl’s back.

After a few seconds, Karl pulls away and grabs Sapnap’s suitcase.

“How was your flight, man? Took you long enough.” He rolls his eyes playfully as he gestures for Sapnap to follow him inside.

“Long as hell,” Sapnap responds from behind him. “Sorry that I took so long to text you, I kept thinking that maybe the plane would make it in time.”

“No, don’t worry about it! Seriously,” Karl adds when he sees the skeptical look on his face.

Karl stands in the lobby as Sapnap takes off his shoes and then lifts the suitcase again. “Here, you can throw this in your room and change or whatever, and then we can make something to eat if you’re hungry.”

The two make their way upstairs and Karl opens the door to the spare room, sweeping his hand in front of him and smirking. “Ladies first.”

Sapnap snorts and pushes past him into the sparsely-decorated room, immediately taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He exhales before flipping backwards, arms outstretched. His hat is pushed down low over his eyes (probably hiding that haircut that Dream’s been teasing him about) and he looks exhausted.

Karl sets the suitcase down and then hovers awkwardly, debating whether to interrupt Sapnap’s first moment of peace in hours or not. Finally, he speaks.

“Uh, I’ll go start something for dinner?” It’s meant to be a statement but his voice rises at the end, making him sound tremendously unsure. He clears his throat. “You do whatever you gotta and then come down when you’re ready.”

Sapnap lifts both hands from the bed and gives him a double thumbs-up before flopping down again. “Yeah, just give me five minutes and I’ll be good,” he says, voice rough.

Karl nods although the other can’t see him and then turns and leaves the room, gently closing the door behind him.

He makes it to the kitchen before stopping and resting his forehead against the fridge door, letting his body relax. Sapnap is in his house. Sapnap is upstairs, lying on the bed. In five minutes, Sapnap is going to come downstairs and they’re going to eat.

And after that? God, Karl’s got no clue.

Chapter Text

Fifteen minutes later, Sapnap walks into the kitchen. Well, walks is a strong word. It’s more of a stumble. He collapses at the counter and looks up, meeting Karl’s eyes.

Karl blinks in surprise, taken back. “Uh, hey!”

Sapnap rests his chin in his hands, straightening up. “Sorry, I washed my face and stuff and then I had to text Dream and let him know I made it.”

“Oh, yeah, of course!” Karl glances away and his eyes find the stove. “I made scrambled eggs, and I can pop some toast in if you want.”

Sapnap’s eyes widen at the prospect and he nods. “Yes please, that would be great.”

Grinning at his manners, Karl turns to the cupboard and pulls out two plates. When he faces Sapnap again, his head is resting on the counter and he looks near the edge of sleep.

Karl snickers, setting the plates down. He reaches over and grabs the edge of the cap still atop Sapnap’s head without a second thought. He snatches it off and puts it backwards on his own head, struggling to fit it over his mop of hair. A tuft stick out of the hole in the front and covers the corner of Karl's vision.

Sapnap protests, covering his head with his hands. “No, I need that,” he whines. “To cover my hair.”

“Don’t be a baby, I’m sure Dream’s just exaggerating.”

Sapnap reaches out lazily, gesturing for his hat, and Karl easily dodges, giggling.

“Come on, let’s see it.”

Sapnap sighs, sitting up and uncovering his head, and-

“Hey, it’s not even bad,” Karl exclaims. It's short, sure, but it fits the other man, even if it is flat from being under a hat for what Karl assumes was the whole flight. He reaches over and ruffles his fingers through Sapnap’s hair to fluff it up, and then stands back and admires his work. “Dream’s a nimrod if he thinks that it doesn't look good.”

Sapnap’s cheeks redden and he reaches for his hat, but Karl dances away again.

“Nope, no hat tonight. This bad boy is all mine.”

Laughing at Sapnap’s reluctant groans, Karl bounces over to the toaster and pushes in two slices of bread. After a second’s pause, he adds two more. With his back still turned, he speaks, trying to fill the silence.

“So, since the whole ‘you walk in on my stream’ thing didn’t work, how should we announce your visit?” Karl busies himself by starting to put away all of the food he’d pulled out earlier.

“I’m sorry again that that didn’t work out,” Sapnap starts.

Karl turns and shushes him. “Dude, you don’t control the flights. It wasn’t in your control.”

“I still feel bad though. It would’ve been funny.”

“Yeah. We’ll think of something else though.”

Sapnap purses his lips and nods, eyes closed, and Karl utilizes the moment to just… take this all in. Sapnap is here, half-lying on the counter in the middle of his kitchen in sweatpants and a hoodie, and Karl doesn't know what to think. He hopes that Sapnap will become comfortable here over the next week, that he'll make himself at home and start opening up. That wasn't quite how it went with Alex, but to be fair, the two men are so different. When he and Big Q first met up, they'd clicked immediately, falling into the same familiar conversations that they'd had over call a million times before. 

With Sapnap it's different. He's different, both from Alex and from his own online persona. Karl isn't quite sure what the difference is, but online Sapnap seems more outgoing, like he matches the others' energy on streams. In person, he's- well, he feels more real. He's softer.

Sapnap meets his eyes and lets out a little huff of air, an almost-laugh, and Karl realizes that he's been staring. 

"Sorry, I-" he splutters, looking away. "It's just weird, seeing you here. You look so different in real life."

The other man smirks. "How so?"

"I don't know, I guess I was just expecting you to be taller," Karl responds, fake pouting and crossing his arms. "And then you show up on my doorstep and you're, what, 4'11"? God, grow a little next time."

Sapnap snorts, flicking his hair out of his face and swiping his hand lazily across the counter at Karl. "Oh, shut up," he grumbles. "I'm taller than Quackity, we both know it."

"Sure, sure," Karl says, leaning forward on the counter and rolling his eyes at Sapnap. "Whatever you say."

Just then, the toaster pops and they both jump. Karl makes his way over and pulls out the toast, dividing it between the two plates. As he begins to messily butter the four pieces, Sapnap's stomach growls.

"Hungry, huh?" Karl asks.

"Yeah, airport food doesn't quite cut it. Dream's mom made steak before we left, but I didn't have much."

"Oh? Too nervous to eat?" Karl laughs as Sapnap falls silent.

"...Maybe."

Karl's cheeks heat up. Okay, he wasn't the only one who was scared for this. It's normal then! It's all good. God, he doesn't know why he's overthinking all this. He exhales and scoops a heaping spoonful of scrambled eggs onto each plate. "Well, don't worry. I only bite sometimes." He turns back to Sapnap, who's hiding his face in the crook of his elbow. 

The sound of the plate in front of him makes the other man raise his head and he smiles at the sight of the food. "Since when can you cook?", he asks, grabbing the fork and piling eggs onto the toast.

Karl grins. "Well, if we're gonna do a cooking stream I figured I'd better get some practice in. Wouldn't wanna embarrass myself on stream, would I?"

"Yeah, like that would be the first time," Sapnap snorts. "Remember when you used to literally strip on camera?"

Karl flushes. "We don't speak of those days," he says, holding a finger to his lips. "And besides, there's nothing embarrassing about changing my shirt on stream. Nudity is natural, Sapnap." Before he can say anything else, he stuffs a forkful of eggs into his mouth and chews.

Rolling his eyes, Sapnap copies him and takes a bit. Between chews, he speaks, voice muffled. "Nothing embarrassing. Sure. At least Twitter eats that shit up."

Karl swallows. "What do you mean?" He asks, knowing fully what the other man is talking about. If he's being honest, he just wants to hear Sapnap say it.

"Oh, come on," Sapnap groans (he's starting to talk like Dream after living with him, Karl notes with a smile). "You know what I mean. Those clips are everywhere."

"Are they?" Karl raises an eyebrow, meeting Sapnap's gaze for a second before looking away. "Because I don't see them much. Maybe it's just your tl." (A lie, obviously; Karl sees those videos on the daily.) "What, are you following one of those 'Hourly Karl' accounts? Oh my god, I bet you have a secret stan account dedicated to me."

Sapnap covers his eyes. "You're so dumb," he sighs before taking another bite. "Besides, I bet you're the one who follows all those accounts. Just can't get enough of yourself."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that," Karl giggles. "You can even go tweet about it on your stan account later."

"Oh, shut up." Sapnap drags the words out jokingly.

Karl walks to the other side of the counter and pulls up a stool beside him, picking up his toast as he does and biting into it. "Not bad," he says. "Not good enough for a cooking stream though." The toast is a bit burnt and the eggs unseasoned, but at least it's edible. He'll never tell Sapnap but he definitely practiced yesterday to make sure he could make this for the other man without humiliating himself. You know what they say, right? Preparedness is a virtue. Yeah, that's all. Plus, he was practicing for the cooking stream too. It's not like he cares that much about Sapnap's opinion. He huffs at the idea.

"What's so funny?" Sapnap mumbles around a bite of toast, eyes on his food and drooping with tiredness.

"...Your mom," Karl says, unable to come up with an answer other than 'I was laughing because I spent an hour watching Youtube tutorials on how to scramble eggs yesterday because I knew you would be hungry after your flight'.

"Sure," Sapnap responds doubtfully.

Karl bites his lip, mentally berating himself. For what?, his subconscious questions. You just said that you don't care about his opinion and now you're sad that he didn't laugh at your dumb joke? 

His attention is drawn away from the internal conflict when Sapnap opens his phone next to him.

"Tweeting on the stan account? 'Guys omg Karl's such a good cook, I'm gonna marry this man'," Karl jokes while leaning over and resting his chin on Sapnap's shoulder to peer at his phone screen. Sapnap stiffens at the touch before slowly relaxing into it and Karl smiles, reaching his hand up to play with Sapnap's hair while watching him scroll through Twitter (on what sadly doesn't appear to be a secret stan account).

They sit like this for a few minutes, Sapnap periodically clicking on tweets and checking the replies while Karl zones out and twirls strands of hair as far as they'll go around his finger. Every once and a while Sapnap holds his phone up to show Karl a different piece of art or funny interaction and he responds with a chuckle or a comment on the art style.

After a bit once his plate is cleared, Sapnap clears his throat. "Looks like no one's figured anything out."

"Yeah, we did a good job of hiding it, huh," Karl responds. "Although you did almost give us away on Corpse's stream."

"Oh, come on, I had no idea he was starting. Plus, obviously nobody heard because I haven't seen a single tweet about us meeting up," Sapnap protests.

"Yeah, they're gonna be surprised." Karl nods, his chin digging in to Sapnap's shoulder. (Is that cologne? He smells nice.) "Um, you're probably exhausted-- definitely exhausted," he corrects himself as Sapnap yawns, "so you can go to bed now and we can decide if we wanna announce it with a stream or whatever in the morning. The room should be all ready, and just let me know if you need anything."

Sapnap nods and goes to stand, forcing Karl to reluctantly lift his head and separate his hands from where they're tangled in his hair. Their eyes meet and Karl feels his face heat for some reason, so he quickly turns and grabs the plates from the counter, moving away to set them in the sink. When he looks back, Sapnap is just standing their, looking a bit like a lost puppy. 

"What, you want me to tuck you in?" Karl laughs awkwardly. "Forehead kiss before beddy-bye?" 

Sapnap rolls his eyes, smiling, and then turns and walks out of the kitchen.

And then Karl is alone.

He puts his hands back on the counter and tips his head back, breathing deeply. He listens for the sound of the sink running but it never starts, meaning that Sapnap probably fell asleep as soon as he reached his room. The corner of Karl's lips quirks up at the thought.

He reaches up and pulls Sapnap's hat off of his head, holding it  at eye level and narrowing his eyes at it, sizing it up. 

"Chill out, Karl," he tells it strictly. "Don't scare the man away before you've even streamed."

He tosses the hat onto the counter and lets out a sigh. What a day; Sapnap's only been here, what, two hours? They've got so much time left, and Karl swears to himself that he won't waste it.

Chapter Text

Sapnap sleeps for a solid twelve hours, and by the time he walks into the kitchen, Karl's going mad with boredom. He made scrambled eggs again for breakfast, this time with a bit more seasoning, and then experimented with a grilled cheese for lunch. Somehow the kitchen hadn't burned down, but now he's left with nothing to do and had been scrolling through his phone for the past hour.

Sapnap enters the kitchen yawning, stretching his arms out to the side as his eyes squint shut. He's gotten dressed in a pink hoodie and black jacket, and a smile lights up his face when he catches sight of his hat where Karl had left it on the counter. He rushes over and pulls it down over his hair, letting out a sigh of relief. 

"Welcome home," he tells it nonsensically, giving it a pat to ensure that it's securely covering his hair (which Karl still thinks looks great). He turns and meets Karl's eyes.

Karl smiles. "Good morning! You were tired, huh?"

"Yeah, flights really take it out of me. That's jet lag for ya, I guess," Sapnap answers, taking a seat at the counter.

"You didn't even change time zones," Karl laughs. He stands and walks over to the fridge. "Hungry?"

Sapnap nods. "You gonna cook for me again?"

Karl rolls his eyes and pulls open the fridge door, peering inside. "Before you woke up I had a grilled cheese-"

"What, without burning down the kitchen?" Sapnap interrupts, voice full of fake shock.

"Right? I was surprised too," Karl responds, hands on autopilot as he looks through the fridge. "You want one too? Or if not, there's some frosted flakes in the pantry, or I can do eggs again..." He trails off, but no answer comes. When he looks back at Sapnap, the other man's gaze is focused on him and there's a soft look on his face. It feels private, almost intimate, and Karl whips back around, ears burning. God, he needs to get it together.

Sapnap hurriedly clears his throat. "Uh, yeah, anything works," he stutters.

"You've gotta choose, man." Karl's definitely grinning right now. He ducks his chin inside of the collar of his shirt, attempting to hide it even though he's still facing away. "I'm not a mindreader."

"Right, of course. I'll have a grilled cheese, please," Sapnap says, and it's not as though Karl has memorized how his voice sounds with different expressions but the other man is sure as hell smiling at the moment too, and Karl bites his lip.

"Coming right up."

When the sandwich is done (kitchen: still standing), Karl joins Sapnap and the counter, pulling his stool as close as he dares. The other man starts eating, and Karl takes it as his cue to start rambling because when has he ever not rambled to fill the silence, honestly.

"So, now that you're up I feel like we should post a picture together on Twitter, let everyone get all hyped, and then stream on the SMP for a bit. That'll probably get us max viewers because it'll probably get on the trending page before we start streaming, unlike if we surprise them with you on the stream. Plus, that way the tweet will probably pop off too, and that's always a plus. Uh, also I know you'll want to disagree with this but I'm housing and feeding you for a week so I think I win the right to paint your nails on stream tonight." 

Karl pauses and meets Sapnap's watchful eyes, which are currently rolling at the prospect. The man goes to argue but he's in the middle of chewing, so all that comes out is a couple protesting mumbles.

"You don't have to keep them painted, I just wanna see," Karl explains, silently praying. "Er-- Twitter. Twitter wants to see."

Sapnap swallows, finally able to respond. "Sure," he says, voice thick with sarcasm. "Twitter." His eyes are bright and Karl is nothing if not blinded.

Pulling out his phone so that he doesn't have to keep looking at Sapnap with his squinty eyes and small smile and dumb haircut, Karl opens iMessage. "The, uh-- the Twitter photo idea? Yes? No?"

"Sounds good," Sapnap says, offering a thumbs up that Karl catches in the corner of his eye. 

"Okay, let me just text Sean and ask if he can come take the picture."

Sapnap mumbles something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "Sean, this is your house", and Karl holds in a giggle as he types out a message.

karl: hey, any chance you can come take a pic of sap and i for twitter? i'll pay you

His phone vibrates a second later with a response.

sean: Yessir. I expect payment in Twitter clout.

Karl snorts at his brother's usual antics and types out a quick 'thanks!' before shutting off his phone. Sapnap is watching him with that same soft look on his face, and Karl reaches out and shoves his shoulder gently. "Quit looking at me like that," he says, laughing.

Sapnap's eyebrow raises (even as his cheeks seem to redden). "Like what?"

"Oh, you know..."

"No, I can't say that I do," Sapnap says, shrugging with exaggerated confusion and pursing his lips. "Care to enlighten me?"

Karl flushes and stands up, rubbing his hands on his polo shirt. "Screw you. Come on, let's decide where to take the photo."

Sapnap looks a little too proud of himself.

Ten minutes later, they've selected an only slightly awkward photo op, with the two of them sitting on Karl's couch and holding a controller each. "We can actually play after if you want," Karl says, and Sapnap nods a couple times.

After Sean and Sapnap are introduced to each other ("So glad to finally meet the famous Sean." 

"Dude, you're the famous one, Snapmap." 

"Sean, shut it with that cringey nickname, we've been over this."), they sit back down and awkwardly pose as Sean takes photos from a multitude of angles. 

After a couple shots with a solid foot of couch between them, Karl scoots over and throws an arm around Sapnap's shoulder, who just keeps smiling at the camera as if nothing's happened. In a brief moment of self-sabotage, Karl lifts his hand and knocks Sapnap's hat off before running his fingers through Sapnap's hair. Regret hits immediately after, but the expected reaction (pulling away and some sort of eye roll) never comes. Instead, it almost seems like Sapnap raises his head to meet Karl's hand. Honestly, he half-expects him to start purring. Slowly, still smiling at the camera and trying not to let anything show in his eyes, Karl moves his hand back and continues the same motion. 

Karl's eyes flit from the camera to Sean's face and his brother has the nerve to wink. Why is he winking? This isn't- Karl is like this with everyone. He's just touching Sapnap's hair... and sort of petting it, and holding the other man close with the rest of his arm. Shit.

Karl extracts himself awkwardly, threading his arm out and moving away. He stands up and clears his throat, shattering the silence. "Think you got a good one?" 

Sean nods, his eyes glinting with what frighteningly looks like mischief. "Yeah, I think I got everything I needed there."

Karl sighs, jokingly exasperated, and gives his brother's arm a nudge as he takes his phone back. The first few photos are pretty good. He keeps swiping and- okay, maybe he went a bit far with the hair thing. Karl's almost certain that his face is flushed as he looks through the remaining photos, but he can't help it. He doesn't think he's imagining the way Sapnap's smile grows throughout the images as Karl gets closer.

He realizes that Sean and Sapnap are waiting expectingly, so he shuts his phone off. "Yeah, I'm sure these'll work. Thanks, man."

"Hey, wait, we should do one in front of your manga bookshelf," Sapnap interrupts. "They'll love it, you know how excited they get over that stuff."

"Wait, yeah, yeah, I have a couple of keyblades somewhere that we can hold," Karl responds, already excited. 

Sean nods in agreement. "I think they're in the back of the streaming room closet, right? I feel like I've seen them in there."

Once they manage to get their hands on the replicas, Karl leads Sapnap to the bookshelf and they stand on either side, Sapnap resting his keyblade against his shoulder and Karl's low at his side so he can throw up a peace sign. Sean takes Karl's phone back and soon they've got a good photo.

Sapnap flops back on a chair in front of the monitors, and Karl slides down, the wall against his back. 

"I'll airdrop you one and then we can tweet them at the same time," he tells Sapnap, scrolling back through the photos and liking his favourites. He pauses on one where his hand is buried in Sapnap's hair and they're both smiling a little wider than the others, and then swipes past. He'll save that one for himself. Eventually, he settles on one of the first pictures where they're sitting apart and sends it to Sapnap.

"Don't tweet it yet, hold on, I need to pick on for myself," he rambles before selecting his favourite photo with the keyblades.

When he's got the tweet all typed out, he looks up at Sapnap. "Ready?"

"Go for it."

Karl clicks tweet and watches as his notifications are immediately flooded. Instead of checking the replies, he clicks over to Sapnap's profile and replies to his photo.

@KarlJacobs_: You look so good in this btw

A second later, he hears Sapnap laugh under his breath and his phone buzzes with a notification. Sapnap has responded with a photo of Karl, crouched by the wall. Karl rolls his eyes at how awkward the position looks like from that angle, and then takes the chance to snap a photo of Sapnap as payback. He then navigates back to his own account and scrolls through the replies. Everyone's freaking out, of course. No one seems to have guessed that anything was up, and his tweet has already hit 50k likes in the two minutes it's been up.

Karl's phone buzzes again. Sapnap's responded to his photo.

@Sapnap: So handsome

He snorts and likes the reply before interacting with a few comments from his other friends. The three boys remain in their respective positions for a few minutes more as they watch all of Twitter panic.

Eventually, Sean stands and says his goodbyes before walking out, leaving Karl and Sapnap alone again.

"Alright, well. They know now," Karl says, laughing as he watches fans battle it out in the replies. "I was thinking we could do the stream in like four hours? After we have a chance to get something to eat and stuff."

Sapnap nods his head up and down a few times (it reminds Karl a bit of his mannerisms in Minecraft, which warms his heart). "Sounds good to me." 

An unspoken agreement is passed between them and they both rise and make their ways back to the couch. "Can we play now?" Sapnap asks, gesturing at the controllers. 

Karl smiles. "Whatever you want, man."

Chapter Text

They're halfway through Karl's stream and Karl can feel himself itching to touch Sapnap. So, well. He does. He gives up control of the keyboard and sits behind the other man's chair, resting his chin on Sapnap's hat, trailing his fingers over his shoulders as he watches Sapnap deftly navigate the Dream SMP. It's a bit addicting, if he's being honest, watching Sapnap's fingers fly across the keyboard, right clicking the mouse to place TNT and then running out before it blows up. Karl isn't paying enough attention to chat as he probably should be, but he can almost sense them freaking out over his touchy mood. He keeps glancing at his second monitor that's displaying the stream, just to watch Sapnap's facial expression change to one of shock when he sees what the now-destroyed house looks like, to watch his smile form when someone sends a particularly funny message in chat (to see how small Karl's hands look as they rest on Sapnap's shoulders, his head).

Sapnap doesn't reciprocate Karl's touches, but it doesn’t bother Karl. They show affection in different ways, and Sapnap obviously isn’t a touch guy. He just sits there, that same small smile on his face, as Karl practically climbs all over him. Yeah, Twitter's gonna have a field day.

The other man hasn't shown his face, let alone streamed with face cam, in over three months, and it's obvious in the slightly awkward way he's holding himself, in how he's quieted down now that there are 200k people watching him. 

It doesn't matter to Karl. God, Sapnap could be a statue, could be silent like Callahan, and Karl would still enjoy streaming with him. He just has this energy about him, somehow both calm and excitable, peaceful and upbeat. it's what makes him so fun to watch, to stream with. Karl can't get over how much better it is in person. He can see Sapnap's reactions to his jokes in real time, watch his eyes widen almost comically. He can (discreetly) inhale, memorizing the fresh, hearty scent of Sapnap's cologne. 

He can't believe they have a whole week.

He can't believe they only have a week. 

The stream ends up being a short one, just a quick introduction and a bit of time for Sapnap to become more comfortable on camera. When they finish, they head to bed early.

The next day, they spend the whole morning and well into the afternoon filming a video for the Mr Beast gaming channel. When they’re done, exhausted and lying on the couch, Karl convinces Sapnap to take a photo with him for Twitter. The other man reaches him arm around Karl and leans in and Karl’s so distracted he almost forgets to hit the shutter button.

By the time the two are free, they grab a bite to eat and then hop on stream. Sapnap's decided that they should play FNAF, of course.

Karl isn't paying as much attention as he should be, to be honest; instead of focussing on the game, he keeps waiting for jump scares, excited at the idea of watching Sapnap freak out.

Sapnap freaks out.

Okay, maybe they both freak out a bit. It's not like the game's that scary, to be honest. It's more that Karl wants an excuse to lean back in his chair and clutch at Sapnap's jacket with both hands, screeching. It's more entertaining than Karl would care to admit, watching Sapnap watch the game. All of his reactions are funny; the way that he jerks back at the first jump scare and pulls his hands to his face in fear makes Karl giggle like crazy.

The stream passes in the blink of an eye. One second they've just started, and the next Karl leaves the room to fetch the nail polish and start streaming on his alt while Sapnap says goodbye to chat.

A breather. that's what this is. Once he's grabbed the polish, he tips his head back. God, it's like he's 15 again for some reason. It feels so familiar, the way his heart hasn't stopped pounding since Sapnap grabbed his arm at a particularly scary part in the last stream. He doesn't want to think about when he's felt like this before, because it sure as hell wasn't directed towards one of his closest friends.

Let alone a man.

Karl laughs aloud, forcing the thought to the back of his head to return to later. Maybe. Maybe not. Right now, he's got a stream to start. 

A few minutes later, once the stream is running well and Sapnap's hosted him, there's a noise at the door. He looks up and there's Sapnap, hands clasped behind his back (scared of a little nail polish? come on) waiting to enter.

"You don't have to wait there, nimrod," Karl laughs, and Sapnap walks into the room to take a seat beside him.

Once they turn on facecam and start talking to each other and to chat, Karl picks out colours for his nails. He's decided to paint his own first in the hopes that maybe it'll help Sapnap loosen up, soften to the idea.

As he runs the tiny brush over each nail, bending his face close to his hands to ensure that he doesn't make any mistakes that polish remover won't fix, they talk about everything and nothing. He can't help but drop a few hints for what they have planned for the week, and hopefully he can stay true to the promises he's now made in front of all these people. 

He spends a lot of time answering questions that he reads from chat, and at one point a question catches his eye and he reads it out loud before he can stop and think.

"Karl, do you have a crush?" He quotes. He continues painting his nails as he answers. "Uh, I'm more of a Fanta guy."

There's a moment of silence and then Sapnap lets out a huff of laughter and Karl turns to meet his eyes.

"That was pretty good, right? That was pretty good," he says, switching to his pinky nail and exhaling under his breath.

A few more questions fly by in the chat, but Karl leaves Sapnap to read them so he can focus on the task at hand.

"Someone asked, 'What does Sapnap smell like?'", the other man says, and despite already knowing the answer, Karl turns in his chair and leans over to sniff Sapnap's shoulder.

"He has some sort of cologne, of some sort," Karl states decisively, knowing full well that it is, in fact cologne.

When Karl's nails are finished, he turns to Sapnap. He can see the reluctance in his eyes, but there's something else there too. It's either fondness or Karl's imagination being reflected back at him, and he isn't sure which he'd prefer. 

Karl holds the black nail polish aloft, showing chat, before waving it in front of Sapnap's face, who's obviously hiding a grimace.

Karl would be lying if he said he wasn't going to take this opportunity by the horns. He pulls Sapnap's hand forward in his own, looking it over before laying it on the box in front of him. He gets a little closer than necessary before leaning over it with the polish brush. If he really concentrates, he can feel Sapnap's breath near his ear, warm as it tickles the side of his face. He lets himself zone out, focussing on the nails and the polish and the heat of Sapnap's body next to his.

Karl forgets about the stream, forgets about the week they've got left. He paints and he rambles to chat and he lets Sapnap do whatever he wants while his hand is out of commission. 'Whatever he wants' ends up being a lot of sitting in silence, and Karl can feel Sapnap's gaze on him for the majority of the time that he spends painting his nails. Part of him wishes he could see how they look right now, see what Sapnap's face is doing. He'll definitely watch this vod once Sapnap leaves, although he's sure that enough clips will be all over Twitter that he won't technically have to.

Karl takes longer than he needs to, painting each tiny nail. He notes Sapnap's smooth cuticles, an unexpected feature. One of many. He trails his fingers along each knuckle, rubs circles around his palms, repaints each nail twice just to have a few more minutes in this position. 

Eventually, he finishes and sits up, his spine popping at the movement. Sapnap meets his eyes and the both smile at each other for a second before Karl turns to face the monitor displaying the Twitch chat.

"Okay, we're gonna let it dry for a little bit, relax, let it dry," he tells Sapnap as he retracts his hands, "and then I'm gonna clean it. Okay?"

"Okay," Sapnap answers, voice soft.

Karl stands, grabbing the box from his desk and moving it to place it offscreen. It's not an excuse to hide his almost-certainly-red face from the camera, that's for sure. Definitely not.

After Karl cleans the excess polish off for a few minutes, Sapnap tilts his head to face Karl, hands hovering in front of his body. "Karl, I have to pee," he complains.

Karl rolls his eyes before making eye contact with the other man that he definitely holds for a bit too long while he advises him to 'be careful'.

Before Sapnap returns from the bathroom, Karl breaks the news of the Pokémon competition to chat, describing how they'll go about competing for the $20k box of cards. He's been looking forward to this stream since he first saw a video of a reviewer opening this same box, and now he finally gets the chance to do it himself.

Soon, Sapnap returns and Karl trades off with him, taking his turn in the bathroom. And if he pulls out his phone in there to watch Sapnap sit awkwardly in front of the camera, alone and having to interact with chat in that soft voice of his? That's no one's business other than his own.

When he returns from the bathroom, Karl ends up talking with Dream after he phones to discuss Sapnap's nails. The three of them joke around for a while before hanging up, and then Karl can feel the stream starting to wind down. He and Sapnap take a minute to pose with their nails so that chat can take as many screenshots as they'd like, and then they finish off the stream.

And then it's just them. Sapnap looks down at his hands, distractedly wiggling his fingers around.

Karl smiles at the sight. He was uncomfortable with the idea but he went through with it anyways, and now he's emerged from the other side with a new experience and a set of painted nails.

They've been streaming for hours, and Karl can feel the exhaustion settle in to his body as the adrenaline of streaming wears off. One glance at Sapnap mirrors how he feels, so he suggests that they get a snack and then crash. They're filming for the Mr. Beast gaming channel in the morning, so it's probably best if they get as much sleep as they can.

...Is what he tells Sapnap. Karl would stay up the whole night talking to him if the choice was his, and it's probably good that it isn't, because they need the rest even if it's not at the top of Karl's list of priorities.

As he settles into bed an hour later, Karl decides to scroll through Twitter for a few minutes before crashing. His timeline is covered in photos and videos from the streams, but one in particular catches his eye. He clicks on it, curious.

"Karl, do you have a crush?" Video-Karl asks. Sapnap, clearly in frame, looks over at Karl's lowered head before pointing his finger at himself repetitively, a smile on his face. "Uh, I'm more of a Fanta guy," Karl answers as Sapnap keeps gesturing to himself, laughing quietly.

Karl turns off his phone and buries his face in his pillow. He can't help but feel called out, exposed, which doesn't make sense because it's not like he likes Sapnap. Right?

Chapter Text

When Karl gets up the next morning it’s already 10, so he hurries to dress and brush his teeth before heading to the kitchen. Sapnap is already awake, which has got to be a first. He’s sitting at the counter and scrolling through his phone, a sight that’s starting to become familiar to Karl.

Sapnap looks up and meets Karl’s eyes. “Morning,” he says, a small smile forming.

“Good morning,” Karl replies, dragging out the vowels. He runs his hand through his hair absentmindedly as he walks over to the fridge. It’s getting long; he should get a haircut once Sapnap leaves. Not now, of course. He wouldn’t want to waste any of their time together.

The fridge is bare, so Karl spins around and faces Sapnap again. “Did you already eat?”

The other man shakes his head, once again reminding Karl of his Minecraft mannerisms. “No, I couldn’t find anything.”

“Sorry about that,” Karl winces. “Should’ve stocked up on food before you got here. Wanna order something?”

Sapnap nods and pulls up Doordash on his phone, so Karl moves to the other side of the counter and stands behind him, resting his chin over Sapnap’s shoulder to view his screen.

Sapnap leans back into him and lifts his phone so that he can see it better and Karl can feel himself blush. Thank god Sapnap’s preoccupied and can’t see his face at the moment.

After few minutes of deliberation, they order pancakes and bacon from a local restaurant. Once that’s over with, they make their way over to the couch and flop down on either end, Karl’s legs resting over Sapnap’s.

Karl takes the chance to check Twitter and respond to a few Tweets, and it looks as though Sapnap’s doing the same. With anyone else, this would be awkward, but somehow Sapnap makes the silence feel comfortable, safe. Karl doesn’t feel the need to speak to fill it; he’s happy to just sit here, sharing the space, the only sound in the air them breathing.

Karl stumbles upon a piece of fan art that he likes and sits up, scooting over and pressing against Sapnap's side to show him. It's a drawing of their Minecraft characters in Kinoko Kingdom, sitting atop a mushroom. Sapnap's face lights up and he grabs Karl's phone to look closer. 

When he passes it back, Karl deliberates for a second before deciding to stay where he is, curled up next to Sapnap, instead of moving back to the other side of the couch. 

And that's how they stay for the twenty minutes until their food arrives and Karl has to get up (albeit reluctantly) to answer the door. They eat on the couch, stealing pieces of each other's bacon to dip in the syrup, Sapnap laughing so hard he nearly chokes when Karl drops a pancake on the floor. It's probably the happiest Karl's felt in a long time, and he doesn't want it to end.

That's unrealistic, though, and once they devour the pancakes, Sapnap stands, brushing his hands off on his jeans. "Uh, so I have to go edit this video that Dream's been bugging me to finish," he says apologetically. "It'll probably take me a couple hours. Jackbox is at 2, right?"

Karl nods, perking up at the reminder that he'll be able to play with both Sapnap and the Mr Beast crew, combining his two worlds. "Yep! We can head over like half an hour earlier or whatever." He pauses for a second. "Wait, do you have a computer to edit?"

"Yeah, I brought an old laptop."

"Okay, good! Uh, just... let me know if you need anything," Karl finishes, more awkwardly than he'd intended.

Sapnap agrees before going back to the guest room, and Karl's alone. He takes the opportunity to plan out some streams for the rest of the week in his notes app. There's the Jackbox stream, of course, and then he's been thinking of playing Higher or Lower on one of their alt accounts after seeing it recommended on YouTube. They've also been planning an egg decorating stream, and of course there's the promised cosplay and cooking streams. 

Karl walks over to where his laptop is resting on the coffee table and pulls it open to search for clothes that resemble their Minecraft skins. Twitter will freak out if they don't end up getting around to the cosplay stream in particular, so he knows he has to buy stuff now so he doesn't run out of time.

Once he's got a colour-block hoodie for himself and a pair of checkered Vans and a cheap white shirt for Sapnap, he closes his computer again. He feels a little restless, honestly; It's only been a few days but he's gotten used to Sapnap's presence beside him, and now he's been ditched for a YouTube video. Karl lets out a huff of air akin to a laugh, standing. Since he's got the time, might as well practice some more for the cooking stream. He pops in his airPods and puts one of Sapnap's playlists on shuffle. A song by The Grinns comes on and Karl bobs his head to the beat.

A few minutes of digging through his fridge and pantry produces a boxed cake mix from an old stream idea, a few suspicious eggs, and some milk that's probably a bit old for baking. Karl can't be bothered to run out and buy groceries, though, so he decides to make do with what little he has and bake a cake.

The mix and eggs are in a bowl and Karl's stirring furiously, already regretting his decision. Who knew that boxed cake mix was so messy? It's all over the counter, somehow, and there's definitely some on his face. He laughs as more of it puffs up into his face, making his nose twitch with the urge to sneeze. A wipe with the back of his hand only makes things worse, and soon he's abandoned stirring to try and clean off his face. 

He lifts the bottom of his sweatshirt to his cheeks, unable to care if it gets dirty. When he drops it, a movement in the corner of his eye catches his attention and he glances over to see Sapnap standing in the entryway, eyes wide and definitely pointed at Karl's recently-exposed torso. Karl has no idea how long he's been standing there, and isn't sure if he wants to know. When Karl notices him and pulls out an airPod, Sapnap straightens up (is he blushing?) and clears his throat.

"What's-" he pauses, gesturing at the mess in front of Karl, "-all this?"

Karl laughs at his shock, bouncing on his toes. "Practicing for the cooking stream, obviously. What does it look like?"

"I don't know, a murder scene?" Sapnap says, stepping closer. 

"What would I have killed, a bag of flour?" 

"Oh, of course." Sapnap rests his palms on the counter, leaning towards Karl. "What are you making?"

Karl sighs in over-exagerated dejection. "You mean that you can't tell? Look, it's obviously a cake."

Sapnap snorts. "Hey, you've got something right..." He reaches out his hand and cups Karl's face for a second, thumb brushing under his eye. "...there," he finishes triumphantly, pulling his hand back. 

Karl stands still, trying to implant the moment in his memory. Once he thinks he has the sight on Sapnap reaching out and holding his face memorized well enough to come back to later, he forces a giggle. "I don't think that helped," he says, gesturing at his face which he can feel is still covered in cake mix.

Sapnap smiles. "I was gonna ask if you have a laptop charger because I was dumb and forgot mine."

"Oh yeah, for sure." Karl pauses, looking down at himself. "It should be in the box under the table in the stream room. I would go grab it for you, but I don't really wanna track cake mix all over the house."

Sapnap moves to leave and then hesitates, looking all for the world like he wants to stay. 

Karl shoos him away with his hands. "Go on, go finish your video and then you'll have a cake to eat after."

"Oh, it's for me, is it? Not for everyone who's in the stream later?"

"Nope, just you. Only if you finish that video, though," Karl teases, raising an eyebrow. 

"Okay, okay, I'm going." Sapnap backs out of the kitchen with his hands raises defensively, eyes bright with humour.

Nearly an hour later, Karl manages to wrangle some of the batter into a baking pan and slide it into the oven. Then, after triple-checking that he's actually set a timer and not just typed the number into his calculator (which has happened more times than he's willing to admit), he turns to the the task of cleaning the kitchen. It takes a full roll of paper towel, a half-cup of dish soap, and the sacrifice of his sweater, but he manages to leave the room in the same clean state that it was before the baking disaster. 

He looks down at the aforementioned sweater, which is so covered in cake mix, eggs, and soap that he isn't even sure if it's salvageable. He pulls it off, the cool air hitting his chest and making him shiver, before bunching it into a ball and making his way to his room. He hurries past the door of the guest room, hoping that Sapnap won't choose this exact moment to step outside. Thankfully, his prayers are answered and the door stays closed as he rushes past. The sweater goes in the laundry and he digs through his dresser before pulling on a light blue hoodie and releasing a sigh of relief.

By the time that his phone timer goes off, it's 1pm, only half an hour before they need to leave. Karl wrestles the cake out of the oven and dumps it unceremoniously onto a plate on the counter. 

Well, it's definitely... something. The inside is drooping and the bottom has stuck to the pan, leaving it misshapen on one side. Karl takes one look at it before bending over with his hands on his knees, wheezing. If the cooking stream goes anything like this, he's going to get torn apart. After a second he goes to stand but catches sight of the cake again and has to rest his hands on the edge of the counter for support as he shakes with laughter.

After he calms down, he grabs a pair of forks and carries the cake up to the guest room. Sapnap must hear his footsteps approach, because the door swings open before Karl has a chance to knock. 

Sapnap takes one look at the cake and covers his eyes with his hands, giggling. "What is-- what is that?" He manages, laughing. 

"Your cake, obviously," Karl says, trying and failing to put on an air of superiority. "Good, right? I'm basically-" he pauses to gasp in a breath, "-Gordon Ramsay."

Sapnap barks out a laugh at that, and Karl's face is starting to hurt from smiling. 

He holds up the two forks. "Come on, we've got like twenty minutes. Let's see how it tastes."

Chapter Text

It's not like Karl sets out to spend the whole Jackbox stream touching Sapnap. It just sort of... happens. They're all sitting on this long couch in front of the monitors and other streaming equipment, and they start the stream, and the next thing Karl knows he's resting his hand on the back of Sapnap's head, gently petting his hair.

No one says anything. This is normal for Karl. Well-- kind of normal. He's a touchy, affectionate guy in general, so both chat and his friends are used to him getting close to others, pressing up against them and touching their hands. It just doesn't usually feel like this.

Like what, Karl? Well, that's what he's unsure of. Why is this so different? Why does he flush when Sapnap inclines his head towards him, when he doesn't pull his hand away when it's held? Karl can't describe why, but it definitely doesn't feel like this with Alex, with Chris. With anyone.

The stream flies by in a series of 'Karl's mom' jokes and loud laughs and soft touches. Karl keeps smiling, cheeks sore from the effort; it feels so strange to see his friends interact with Sapnap, but so right at the same time. At one point, after seeing the chat all flood with the same message, Karl reaches over and wraps both arms around Sapnap, shaking him and yelling "Karlnap" at the camera. They all chuckle at the ship name, at Karl's blatant pandering. (Is he pandering? He's not quite sure anymore.)

Sapnap is quiet compared to Chris, Jimmy, and Chandler, and Karl finds it endearing. He's so bold online, always making the dirtiest jokes and taking bits the farthest, but as soon as it's an in-person stream he's as tame as Bad. It makes Karl wish he could be a fly on the wall during one of those streams when Sapnap panders so mercilessly, yells so loud his mic cut out, just to see what he looks like when he's alone. The thought makes him provoke the other man, setting him up for nasty jokes that he refuses to make. Karl's sure that chat can see right through him, but frankly, he doesn't care.

And then it's over as soon as it's begun, and Karl and Sapnap are seated on the couch in his house again, shoulders pressed together. The leftover cake sits on the coffee table in front of them, half-eaten and forgotten. They talk; not really about anything in particular, just saying whatever's on their mind. Karl says more, with Sapnap spending most of the time listening with that title closed-mouth smile of his remaining on his face, eyes drifting closed every few minutes. Karl asks him about their stream later, and they finalize what game they'll play. He opens his laptop from where it sits next to the cake and places it on Sapnap's lap to shows off the clothes he purchased earlier, seeking the other man's validation as well as his touch but pretending that he needs neither. 

Karl's emotions are clouding his head and he feels like he might combust, if he's being honest, but it's like he's glued to the spot. He's unable to get up off of the couch, and even if he were, he doesn't think he would. Sapnap's presence next to him is warm and comforting and Karl is filled with the urge to do-- something.

Sapnap is just so receptive, accepting. He's not pushing Karl off, despite not being a very affectionate or open person. He isn't choosing to distance himself, isn't making jokes about how touchy Karl is, how needy of physicality. Sapnap's just allowing Karl to do what he wants. Karl can't remember the last time someone was this accepting of how expresses emotions. 

He's a bit overwhelmed with fondness, and he thinks Sapnap can tell, because the other man pats his own shoulder as if it's a pillow. It's obviously an offer, and who would Karl be if he didn't take it?

So he does. He leans over, quiet, and rests his face against the thick grey fabric of Sapnap's sweatered shoulder. He can feel Sapnap breathing, can hear his heartbeat (is it speeding up?). Karl allows himself to relax against him.

"So, I thought of this cool stream idea," Sapnap starts, voice intentionally softer, and Karl closes his eyes.

When he opens them again, the light in the room has changed. There's  a small circle of drool on the blanket beneath his head, and he can feel his hair sticking out in different directions. (He really needs that trim.) He blinks the spots out of his eyes and raises his head lazily to see that what his sleep-addled mind had assumed was a blanket is really Sapnap's shoulder, and Karl cranes his head back to see that Sapnap is leaning on the arm of the couch, eyes closed and breathing slow. 

They fell asleep.

Karl fell asleep on Sapnap's shoulder.

He gently lifts a hand to rub across his face before reaching for his phone to check the time. His movements are slow, cautious, so as not to wake Sapnap. One glance at his phone reveals that two hours have passed, which explains why Karl's legs are sore and internal clock is skewed. He's not used to napping; it's usually almost impossible to fall asleep during the day. He almost laughs at the absurdity of the situation. 

Karl's stomach growls and he winces, praying that the sound is quieter than it seems. He opens Doordash, maneuvering his phone so that he can see it without moving away from Sapnap, and orders Taco Bell for the two of them. Once he's paid and ensured that it went through, he leans back down onto Sapnap's shoulder and closes his eyes again. There's no reason to waste this moment, is there?

The doorbell rings half an hour later and Karl jumps up, feeling Sapnap begin to wake. He hurries to the door to collect the food, and when he returns, Sapnap is sitting up, mid yawn.

"Oh, food," he says, voice rough.

Karl nods. "I got hungry, and we're streaming soon, so I figured I would order something."

"Smart move." Sapnap purses his lips as he catches sight of the drool spot on his arm. He turns to Karl and raises an eyebrow, smiling. "Mouth-breather."

"Oh, shush," Karl responds, setting the food down on the coffee table so he can swat at Sapnap. "I was holding my breath so I didn't have to smell you. When was the last time you showered?"

Despite having just woken up, they fall easily back into playful banter as Karl opens the bags from Taco Bell and unloads them onto the table. He'd ordered lots because he doesn't know Sapnap's favourites (yet), so now they've got plates upon plates of food.

"I'll give the rest to Sean," Karl explains, prompted by Sapnap's hand gestures depicting just how much food there really is. "Dude eats like a horse, honestly." 

With the pressure of having to eat everything removed, Sapnap smiles and digs in.

They're quiet while eating, still drowsy and preoccupied with choosing what to have first. By the time they finish, it's nearly the time that they'd agreed to start streaming. Karl reminds Sapnap of this, who nods.

"Higher or lower, right?"

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. We can play other games after, though... I've seen people asking for Fireboy and Watergirl all over Twitter."

"Oh yeah, because you have to play that one in person," Sapnap says. "That would be fun, sure!" He gives a little thumbs up before lifting said thumb to his mouth to swipe a bit of food off of his lips, and Karl has to force himself to look away under the pretence of picking up a dropped fork.

They clean up the garbage from the meal and Karl gathers all of the left-overs in a few containers to place in the fridge. Then, they make their way upstairs for the stream.

Karl's looking forward to this one. He loves alt streams; all the fun of streaming without the pressure of numbers or viewers. Well, not that he doesn't still worry about numbers while on his alt, but it's much easier to relax, to allow the statistics part of streaming to drift to the back of his mind. 

Sapnap is obviously excited too, spinning back and forth in his chair as he waits for Karl to set everything up.

"Should I have trained for this?" He asks, voice high.

"How, by Googling random things?"

"I don't know, maybe?"

Karl laughs. "Yeah, obviously. Have you not been practicing?"

Sapnap punches his arm gently, huffing. "Can't believe I'm gonna embarrass myself," he jokes under his breath, grumbling.

"Oh, come on, we both know that's not possible." Karl rolls his eyes and starts the stream.

Chapter Text

"Hello chat?" Sapnap asks as Karl turns on face cam, fiddling with the settings to make sure that the video is in focus.

Once it looks good, Karl chimes in by yelling "Hey" a few times, just to be obnoxious. "I got-- I got ice cream," he says, showing the camera the absurdly-large cup that he'd ordered with the Taco Bell earlier and promptly forgotten about. He takes a bite, feeling the cold wash over him and making him shiver. Cookie dough chocolate chip: an excellent choice, if he does say so himself.

"I have... water," Sapnap combats him with, unscrewing the lid of a bottle to have some. 

"Oh, why isn't that open?" Karl asks and gestures to the bottle, enjoying the confused look that washes over the other man. "Because you were drinking something else?" He smiles mischievously, trying to indicate that this is a bit.

Sapnap catches on and plays along, of course, closing the water bottle. He turns away remorsefully and looks for all the world like a lost puppy.

"Show the class what you were drinking," Karl commands, holding back a laugh.

"Do I have to? They don't have to know."

"Show the class what you were drinking," Karl repeats, gesturing at the Monster Energy can that chat's unable to see at the moment.

Sapnap sighs, meeting Karl's eyes. "It's vodka, Karl."

They both fall silent for a second, allowing chat to catch up, before Karl rolls his eyes and tells them that it's not true. Sapnap holds the can up to the camera, displaying it for the viewers to see, and then takes a large sip while Karl nods comically.

After the joke is well and over with, they talk to chat about how their day has been so far. Neither of them bring up their little nap on the couch, both dying away from the topic. Instead, they describe their meal in full detail, ranting about the amount of sauce provided and making fun of each other for how they eat.

Karl gets Sapnap to show off his new jewelry, and he definitely stares at the way the chain falls around the other man's neck for a bit too long. It's not his fault, honestly; Sapnap's too distracting for his own good. It's like he doesn't even realize it, too. He's always hiding on camera, choosing to go without face cam whenever he can. 

It's why Karl's been making him do face cam on all these streams: so that he might become a bit more comfortable in front of a camera. It's community service, he convinces himself. For the good of the fans, obviously. So that when Sapnap returns to Florida, he might choose to stream with face cam sometimes, to provide them with content. (It's definitely not so Karl has a physical reminder of their time together; not so that he can look back at the vods of all these streams if he ever starts missing Sapnap's face, his body next to him, his voice in the room. Of course not. Karl certainly hasn't been sneaking photos of him during these couple days. There's no album on his phone dedicated to them. That would be absurd and gushy and lovestruck and--)

Karl cuts off his train of thought before it can delve into areas he would prefer it not, especially on stream in front of 100k viewers. He shakes his head a little, perking up when Sapnap's foot brushes against his. A glance at the other man reveals that he's pointedly not looking at Karl, even as their feet touch, kicking each other playfully. 

They spend a while messing around on Higher or Lower, seeing who can go the farthest without breaking their streak and ruthlessly teasing the other when they inevitably mess up. At one point, the chat freaks out, full of keyboard smashes after the website suggests 'prostate cancer' as a topic. The game becomes a bit repetitive after a while, starting to cycle through the same questions over and over, so they decide to switch and play Akinator.

Karl steps out of the room to use the bathroom and smiles as he hears Sapnap start to talk to chat in that little streaming voice of his, softer and with funny little inflections that make it so nice to listen to. When he's alone and has to talk to chat, he becomes so endearingly awkward with his long pauses. He's in the midst of one now, and a cheesy donation ends up breaking the silence for him

Once inside the bathroom, he puts his hands on the counter and leans forward, examining his reflection in the mirror. He looks... God, he looks absolutely giddy. 

He feels absolutely giddy too, or at least as close to giddy as one can possibly be while knowing that they only have a week to spend with the very person who's causing the emotion. A week. It's really not much time, especially because Sapnap is here for work and that'll probably take up a couple of full days. His face drops at the realization. He should make these days last. He needs to. With the pandemic, who knows when they'll see each other in person again? Calls are great, but they're nothing like being in the same room.

Karl's mind races, filling with possible plans. He needs to make this trip enjoyable for Sapnap. He needs to have so much fun that he just has to come visit again (preferably for a longer time period, but Karl would take an hour together over nothing).

A glance at his phone reveals that more than five minutes have passed and Karl sighs, pasting a lighthearted smile back onto his face. The sound of Sapnap's voice filters through the door and makes the smile a bit wider, a bit more real. Karl takes one last glance in the mirror before splashing some cold water on his face and patting it dry with a hand towel. Then, feeling ready to face Sapnap and a hundred thousand viewers once again, he steps back out of the bathroom.

"Hey," he calls out as he sits back down in his beat-up old gaming chair. 

Sapnap looks over at him and smiles, before commanding that he not say the name of the person he's looking for in Akinator out loud because the website is 'listening'. 

Karl scoffs at the conspiracy theory and pretends to agree before saying, "Oh, Ranboo," and laughing at Sapnap's disgruntled expression. When the computer ends up guessing correct, Sapnap insists that it's cheating.

They answer a few donations and the Karl clears his throat, leaning close to the camera. "Here's what I'm gonna do," he says. "Since he's never hit 20k-- wait, have you ever hit 20k subs?" 

He directs the last part at Sapnap, who shakes his head.

"Let's try to get him to 20k subs before he leaves me house," Karl proposes. "...That way he'll wanna visit me more often."

He's joking. Mostly. Honestly, he'll get Sapnap to 20k on his own if it means that he'll find the time to come back and stay with Karl again. God, he's so far gone, isn't he?

They spend some time talking about the upcoming Pokèmon stream, and then switch games again and move on to Fireboy and Watergirl. Sapnap is Fireboy, of course; Karl wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be a pyromaniac with how much the guy seems to like fire. They argue, playfully sabotaging each other despite the fact that the game relies of teamwork and cooperation, and soon all of chat is scream-typing at them to work together.

The rest of the stream blurs before his eyes, and Karl can feel the excitement of the last few days, along with the afternoon's nap, starting to catch up with him. By the time they say goodbye and raid someone, he's yawning into his sleeve and he can see Sapnap's eyes drooping closed. They sit in silence for a minute and Karl allows his upbeat stream personality to fall away, leaving him exposed. It's not that he's that different when there are no cameras around; he just allows himself to be a little more real in person, a little more open.

"Come on, let's go watch a show or something," Sapnap suggests, rising from his chair. Karl follows quietly and they make their way back to the couch for what feels like the thousandth time that day.

Karl grabs the remote and flops down, flipping through channels as Sapnap settles in next to him. He ends up choosing a channel showing old Adventure Time episodes before throwing the remote back onto the coffee table and going to lie down.

And-- Sapnap's sitting there, facing the TV, and he's obviously arranged himself in such a way that his lap is fully available without being too obvious. (It's not. Obvious, that is. It's just that Karl is paying attention.) Karl freezes for a second, debating his options, before slowly lowering his head onto Sapnap's legs. He pauses right above them, looking up to make sure that he hasn't misread something and completely ruined this whole thing, but Sapnap is just staring at the screen, tense, with a small smile twitching on his lips.

Karl relaxes and drops his head the rest of the way, whole body relaxing as he comes in contact with Sapnap. He lets himself take in the situation for a few moments, fully present, before turning his focus to the episode on the TV.

A few minutes later, Sapnap's hand comes to rest on the top of his head, incredibly gentle, and Karl might be imagining things but it feels like the other man is shaking.

What are they doing?

Karl sighs, the weight of Sapnap's hand on his head and presence in the room pushing him straight into the thoughts he'd stuffed away into a deep corner in his mind. What are they doing here? Are they just messing around? Karl doesn't know about Sapnap, but he is sure as hell not joking. This isn't a bit, even if it might seem that way to viewers.

God, he's a little bit in love, isn't he?

The realization hits him like a landslide, tearing him down and sucking him under. How has he missed the signs? It's never been like this with anyone else. He doesn't go red when Chris sits at his side, doesn't get flustered when Alex touches his hand in passing. Sapnap is different, and it's taken him this long to realize it. He's been oblivious for how long? It's not as though his feelings for Sapnap have changed recently; more likely that he's felt this way for longer than he knows, simply unable to recognize what it was that he was feeling.

Memories flash by. The first time he was in a call alone with Sapnap and he panicked, made up some excuse for having to mute and then frantically texted his friends asking how to do small talk. When Sapnap moved in with Dream and Karl was exponentially less excited for the two than he should have been. That time when they sang High School Musical together on a stream and his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. It's been in front of him this whole time, and he's been missing it.

And then there's Sapnap. Karl has no idea how he feels, no clue if he reciprocates these newly-discovered emotions. On one hand, Sapnap's a friendly guy, and almost all of his actions could be taken in a purely platonic way. But on the other? There's the way Sapnap looks at Karl when he doesn't think he's watching, that soft smile on his face; the way that he agreed to do face cam streams for all of this week despite obviously being uncomfortable; the way that he accepts Karl's physical affection despite it being outside his norm. Karl's head is in his lap right now, for God's sake. That has to mean something.

He doesn't know if he should say anything though, on the off chance that he's wrong and Sapnap really is just being friendly. He could ruin all of this without even trying, wreck his chances at the close friendship that they're building.

Is Karl really willing to risk all of this?

Chapter Text

Ever since Karl realized just how he feels about Sapnap, he's been holding back. It's not easy (of course it's not easy; Sapnap is like a black hole and Karl is constantly drawn towards him), but he feels as though he owes it to the other man to at least try. He doesn't want to come on too strong, doesn't want to make Sapnap uncomfortable.

But as they sit on opposite ends of the couch with their phone screens illuminating their faces, God does Karl want to move closer.

It's far too early to be awake, but Karl couldn't sleep and the sound of him attempting to produce some sort of edible breakfast had woken up Sapnap. After choking their way through some (only slightly raw) pancakes, they'd made their way to the couch.

And here they are. Sitting, worlds apart. Sapnap looks peaceful as he watches some video on his phone; he's got no idea that Karl's brain is whirling so fast it might just explode. 

Karl can't stop looking at him. Watching the way his eyebrows draw close when he's worried, the way that he lifts his chin in the air like a cat whenever he's happy. Karl stares at his hands, too, remembering how they felt between his own. Sapnap has a callous on the side of his index finger, and Karl's mind drifts as he comes up with all the possible scenarios it could've emerged from. Gardening? Staying up late writing? Neither seem like the sort of hobby the other man would partake in, but you never know.

Sapnap shifts in his seat and Karl blinks, averting his eyes in the hopes that his staring isn't evident. He taps his fingers on the edge of his phone as he scrolls mindlessly. When he feels that it's safe to look up again, he does so, only to meet Sapnap's eyes (they're a grey-brown in this lighting, but Karl knows that if Sapnap were to step outside, they would shift to a pale green).

"Let's go do something," Karl says, startling himself as the words slip out of his mouth without meaning to. 

Sapnap tilts his head quizzically, prompting a response.

"You know, like... go for a drive? North Carolina isn't that boring."

Karl definitely wasn't this nervous yesterday, or the day before that, or even when Sapnap first walked through his door. He watches as Sapnap thinks, eyes drifting off to the side. After a second, he nods, and Karl releases a breath.

"Okay, I'll go grab the keys if you wanna go get in the car."

Once the keys are in his hand, Karl steps out of the front door, squinting as sunlight floods his vision and leaves him feeling lightheaded. (Man, he should probably go outside more.) He walks down the front steps and makes his way to the garage to find Sapnap leaning on the wall across from his car.

"A Tesla, huh?" Sapnap asks, incredulous.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that I didn't pick you up from the airport," Karl responds. "One of the perks of working for a guy who's known for giving these away."

The longing in Sapnap's eyes is apparent as he glances back at the car.

"...You wanna give it a spin?" Karl dangles the keys from his finger, holding them just out of reach.

Sapnap nods and reaches for them, but Karl whips them away a split second before they can be enclosed in the other man's grip. A pout takes over Sapnap's face as he steps closer and grasps at the air. 

"Come on, dude," Sapnap complains, crowding Karl against the wall as he swings his arms in a frantic attempt to catch hold of Karl's hand.

It's to no avail, and Karl discretely slips the keys into his back pocket before holding his hands back in front of him, still closed as if there's something inside. Sapnap's breathing is heavy and the rush of air as he exhales brushes across the exposed skin of Karl's neck.

Karl steps to the side in an attempt to hide the goosebumps that have formed. "Pick a hand," he says, voice high and arms extended.

"Okay, okay." Sapnap purses his lips as he examines both hands in front of him. "What do I win if I get it right?"

"You get to drive the car, nimrod."

"Oh, come on, you'll let me do that either way. I need a prize."

The corner of Karl's lips quirks up as he asks, "What do you want?" 

Sapnap's green eyes meet his own and Karl's next words are caught in his throat. They stand like that, face to face, for a second before Sapnap clears his throat.

"Let me think about that one," he responds. "I'll come up with something."

Karl bites his lower lip and nods, resisting the urge to run his hand through his mop of hair as he always does to relieve tension.

Without another thought, Sapnap reaches out and pries open Karl's left hand (which is obviously empty, as the keys remain safely hidden in his back pocket). 

"Fuck," Sapnap mutters. "I was going to guess right, you know. Like, it was going to be my choice but then I changed my mind at the last second, so technically it counts. I totally won."

Karl tilts head back and giggles, high and breathy, before responding. "You did not."

"I did. Look, man, hand over the keys." Sapnap grabs Karl's right hand in his own and attempts to pull his fingers away from his fist.

Unwilling to expose his trickery, Karl tears his hand away, laughing. "Quit it," he protests, dragging out the vowels. Unfortunately, Sapnap is the stronger of the two, and Karl's hand is open (and empty) before he can protest further.

"You cheater," Sapnap gasps. "I win. I win, and you lose, because you cheated."

Karl rolls his eyes and draws the keys out of his pocket, dropping them and grinning as Sapnap snatches them out of the air.

"Yes," he gloats, tossing his trophy from hand to hand. "I win and I get to drive. Perfect solution."

"Fine, fine, you win. I accept defeat." Karl lowers his head in faux disappointment. 

Without another word, Sapnap turns and practically struts to the driver's side of the car before unlocking it with a flourish. He pulls the door open and slides in without hesitation, immediately beginning to adjust the mirrors to his liking. 

Karl snorts at the display before hopping in the passenger's seat. "Where to, Captain?" He asks as Sapnap scoots his seat forward. 

"I hadn't thought that far," the other man admits. "Plus, you're the one who knows your way around here, not me."

"Okay, fine. You drive and I'll give directions."

"To where?"

"Surprise." Karl tucks his chin into his collar to hide his grin at Sapnap's bewildered expression. "It'll be fun, trust me."

A sigh, and then: "I trust you."

The words shouldn't affect Karl as much as they do. He quickly pulls out his phone, turning his face away to open Google Maps despite the fact that he already has a plan and a set of concrete directions.

"Okay, so to start you're gonna want to turn left from the end of the driveway..."

Chapter Text

They drive.

Well, Sapnap drives and Karl spends his energy trying to keep his eyes ahead instead of on the man next to him, repeatedly failing and catching himself staring. Thank god Sapnap is so preoccupied with the Tesla that he doesn't pay Karl any attention; at this point, eye contact would be fatal.

The North Carolina sun hangs high in the sky, its rays caressing Karl's face in such a way that he's sure his skin is already beginning to burn. He's never been much of a sunscreen guy, but he finds himself regretting not covering up before leaving. (He should have grabbed a hat.) At least if his face is perpetually red, it won't be noticeable when he inevitably blushes at each of Sapnap's carefully-chosen words.

That's one of the things that Karl has noticed since he arrived; Sapnap always thinks before speaking. It's starkly different from Karl's mindless rambles, words dropping out without any plan. Instead, Sapnap always seems to roll phrases around on his tongue, trying them out before speaking them into the world. It's why he comes off as quiet, those endearing pauses of his. 

Karl's eyes land on Sapnap again and he allows himself a few moments of admiration. They've only been in the car for ten minutes, but the other man has already figured out the controls and is driving with the confidence of Elon Musk himself. His hands rest gently on the top of the steering wheel, fingers tapping patterns that Karl can't quite put to music. He's not a drummer, is he? 

Oh, violin. Right. 

There are a few fateful seconds in which Karl pictures Sapnap gripping a bow, closing his eyes and drawing it across the strings as he sways gently to his own song. The image is nearly too much to handle and Karl has to squeeze his eyes shut to force it out of his mind. 

"Sun too bright?" Sapnap asks, snapping Karl out of his own mind and back into the passenger seat.

He clears his throat, fiddling with one of the rings on his left hand. "Yeah. Should've brought a hat. My eyes aren't meant for this."

A laugh, light and breathy, and then: "Guess I'm just built different, huh?" Sapnap's smile is tight-lipped and proud as he glances over.

Karl offers a noise of vague agreement, tucking his chin and smiling to himself. There are a few seconds of silence, and, searching for something to fill them, Karl opens his window. The wind takes the chance to whip through his hair, pushing it around. He reaches up and flattens it with his fingers. As he combs through it, rings catching occasionally, he hears Sapnap unroll his own window as well. 

They both sigh at the cool air against their skin, and then let out twin chuckles at their similar thinking. With nothing else to distract from the silence, Karl reaches out and fiddles with the touchscreen.

"Music?"

"Only if it's good."

Karl rolls his eyes at the man's inexorable confidence. He navigates to one of Sapnap's own playlists that he just happens to have saved (he's got good taste, okay?) and hits shuffle.

The first notes of a Tame Impala song reverberate from the speakers, and Sapnap lets out a yell.

"Okay, yep, this is good," he admits as the lead singer begins to croon. (Of course it's good; it's on his own playlist.)

They both laugh, and then simultaneously burst into song, singing along as the music builds. Karl stretches back in his seat, throwing a hand out of the window, and closes his eyes. Sapnap's voice in his ears, the sun warm on his face, the cool air on his skin; what more could he ask for in this moment?

When the song ends, they're both out of breathing laughing. Karl curls over in his chair, hiding his face from the sun for a moment, and looks up to find his face inches from Sapnap. A moment of deliberation ends with the decision to stay put, so he rests his cheek on his own shoulder and watches the other man. Sapnap's squinting into the sun as he navigates the freeway, green eyes nearly hidden. 

Those green eyes meet Karl's and he would flush if he wasn't already, simply from their near proximity. 

"So," Sapnap begins, and Karl is drawn along with every syllable, every consonant, every mere breath, "you gonna tell me where we're going any time soon?"

"Oh, right." Karl exhales, breath shaky. "We're almost there."

"There?" Sapnap raises his eyebrows inquisitively, turning back towards the road to pass a particularly slow car. (His hands are lazy on the wheel, guiding it to the left with a few thoughtless touches and then giving it a quick spin to even the tires out again. Karl is unable to look away.)

"Um, you'll see. It's sort of dumb, to be honest-- I don't know why I picked this place. Thought you'd like it, I guess." Karl's lower lip is caught between his teeth as he winces, uncertainty flooding in. Maybe this was a bad idea. Sapnap probably thinks it's dumb.

Catching sight of Karl's doubt, Sapnap comforts him with a few words. "I'm sure it'll be cool," he reassures, and Karl can feel himself relaxing, slumping back into his seat. It's senseless, how the heavy timbre of the other man's voice can calm Karl in mere seconds. 

A sign ahead catches Karl's eye and he straightens up, pointing. "Left here, quick."

Sapnap flicks on his turn signal and deftly navigates into the furthest lane before swinging the car onto the side road. "McLeary Acres," he reads aloud, eyes crinkling at the edges. "A farm?"

Karl's embarrassed but he tries to cover it up with false bravado, hoping that it will hide the awkwardness. "A cool farm," he corrects matter-of-factly. "A very cool farm. You'll see."

A warm chuckle, soft near his ear. "I'll see."

"You'll see," Karl repeats, unable to conjure any unique words with Sapnap's breath on his cheek as the man leans close to peer out of the passenger window at the rolling fields.

Some Wallows song begins to play, car speakers crackling, and Sapnap perks up. He sits back in his seat (Karl can breath again) and hums along.

A few minutes later, the car curves around a corner and a large barn comes into view. Sapnap lifts a hand from the wheel to point, as excited as he'd been when they'd passed a cow earlier. "The farm?"

"That's right," Karl replies, corner of his lips quirking up. "Straight ahead, Alfred."

Sapnap snorts at the reference and presses his foot further onto the gas, the car speeding up. The tall grass on either side flies past in a blur of yellows and greens.

"Eager," notes Karl as Sapnap rushes, swerving around potholes in the dirt road.

"Of course."

They come to a stop in a small parking lot and Sapnap hops out of the car, keys in hand. His impatience is more attractive than Karl would care to admit.

"What is this place?" Sapnap's eyes dart around, taking everything in as they begin to walk the path towards the barn.

"We filmed a video here a couple years ago," Karl replies. "It ended up getting scrapped, but no one else ever comes here so I started to. Come here, I mean."

"It's nice." Sapnap's voice is unwaveringly sincere (despite the fact that he's complimenting some worn-down farm that'll probably collapse with them in it, if Karl's luck is any sign).

Karl laughs. "Just wait until you see the inside."

He reaches out and catches hold of one of the large handles. Pausing a second (for the dramatics, of course), he meets Sapnap's eyes and grins. Then, he uses his weight to heave the door open. A cloud of dust flies into the air, obscuring the view of a second, and then Sapnap gasps almost comically.

"Is that a... a rope swing?" He's in awe as he peers into the barn. 

"Yeah, the best freaking rope swing you'll ever have the chance to swing on." Karl steps inside the doors and gestures for Sapnap to follow. "I don't even remember what the video was about-- some sort of challenge that had to do with swinging the farthest or something dumb like that. All I remember is how much I loved this place. Like, it's by the highway but it's secluded enough that it's completely silent, and during the day the sun streams through those windows--" he points to the walls opposite them "--and it hits the dust and makes these crazy light beams. And then at night, you can climb up to the roof from the back and if the sky is clear you can see all the stars, which I've never been able to do from my house. You wouldn't believe how bright they are. And, like, it's just a stupid barn, but something about it always draws me back here, you know?"

Karl glances over to find Sapnap watching him, expression soft and eyes warm. He's caught in time, unable to look away or speak or do anything to startle the other man. 

That is, until Sapnap shoves his arm playfully, breaking the silence. "You're so cheesy, man," he laughs. "This place is sick. Seriously, I can't believe no one else comes here. If I lived near a place like this I would be here constantly." He pauses, selecting words, before continuing. "Can I-- can I go on the swing?"

It's the whole reason Karl brought him here; of course he can go on the swing. He jogs over to it and grabs hold, floating a few feet across the barn.

"No, no, you're doing it wrong," Karl snorts. "You have to start from there."

Sapnap's eyes follow his extended finger to a platform on the wall opposite them, situated halfway between the floor and the high roof. 

"Oh. That's high."

"Come on, dude, it's easy." Without thinking, Karl reaches out and grabs Sapnap's hand, lacing their fingers together as he leads him towards the platform with the rope trailing behind. Sapnap's palm is surprisingly smooth compared to his calloused fingers, and Karl absentmindedly rubs his thumb across the other's knuckles as they move across the dusty floor. He has to let go in order to climb the wooden ladder (the rough texture a shock after Sapnap's skin against his own), and soon they're both standing on the rickety platform.

"Long way down," Sapnap notes, sounding a great deal more uncertain than he had five minutes earlier.

"It's not as far as it looks, I promise," Karl responds, grabbing ahold of the swing. "Here, I'll go first, okay?"

Sapnap nods, eyebrows furrowed. 

"Seriously, it's no big deal. Watch." With that, Karl grips the rope firmly in both hands and leaps off the platform, twirling both legs around it as he begins to swing down. The dusty air flies past him, blowing his air in his face, and he lets out a yell as he plummets forward. Then, as the rope reaches its furthest, he hovers for a second on the far side of the barn, almost suspended in the air. It's been too long since he's done this. Nothing is as freeing as just jumping, allowing his body to swing across the building, through the strokes of sunlight and shadow. He begins to swing back towards the platform and reaches out an arm towards Sapnap, who's staring, eyes wide.

"Grab on," Karl calls out, voice snatched away from his own momentum. "Quick!"

That's all it takes for Sapnap to leap into action and Karl's arm is nearly yanked from his socket as the other man sturdies himself and holds on for dear life. A second later, they both collapse back into a heap on the platform, laughing. 

Karl allows himself a moment to breathe, head on Sapnap's stomach, before sitting up and looking down at him. Sapnap's eyes are wide as he grins, a rare open-mouthed smile.

"That was-- oh my god," he says, grabbing Karl's shoulder for support. "You went so far."

"Yeah, man--" Karl takes a breath, "--that's kind of the point."

Sapnap returns to a sitting position, legs pressed against Karl's. They meet each others' eyes and Sapnap opens his mouth to speak.

"Can I try?"

Chapter Text

Karl can think of many words to describe Sapnap, but 'athletic' wouldn't have been one of them. However, as he watches him dash away with that classic football-player run, Karl realizes that Sapnap is fit. He's fit, and he wants that $100 grand.

Karl wants it too, of course, but he's not as dedicated. He's lost enough Mr. Beast challenges to know that he's not lucky enough to win. And, because he's not vying for the prize, he has time to just watch Sapnap.

He's putting it all on the line for this; sprinting across the field, throwing himself into bushes. He's barely even out of breath, and they've been playing for hours. 

After a while, they split up and Karl decides to just hide out under the pile of money. As he crouches in the dark in silence, heart pounding, he finds his mind drifting back to the previous day.

After the initial surprise of the barn, he and Sapnap had taken turns swinging through the air. They'd even filmed it a couple times, although it felt strangely personal, and Karl doubts he'll end up posting it anywhere. Then, they'd climbed onto the roof and Karl had unwrapped the sandwiches he'd fumbled together that morning for them to share. A picnic, of sorts. They'd sat in a comfortable silence, taking in the view and relaxing in the warm afternoon sun. (Karl's cheeks are tinted red now, which serves as a shield whenever he finds himself blushing.) When it'd been time to head back, Sapnap had relinquished the keys without complaint, and if Karl had taken a longer route than necessary? Well. That's just how it goes sometimes. If he'd happened to catch Sapnap staring? Just the way things work out. (Is Karl imagining things? Is he forcing things that aren't there? He can't tell. He isn't sure if he wants to.)

The crackle of the walkie-talkie snaps him out of his thoughts.

"Hey, Jimmy," Sapnap says, voice distorted. "I'll tell you where Karl's hiding for $10k."

Karl splutters, jerking to a sitting position. He forces indignation for the camera, for the viewers, when all he wants to do is laugh at Sapnap's boldness. He really wants the money, huh?

"I'll give your channel a shoutout on Twitter," Jimmy bargains.

Karl clenches his jaw, preparing to run.

"Sounds like a deal," Sapnap agrees. "He's under the money."

At that, Karl sprints away, out into the light, blinking the dots out of his eyes furiously as he searches for an escape path. Though he makes a valiant effort, he's eventually caught and taken to jail. No surprise. At this point, he's just praying that Sapnap makes it, if only to see the smile on his face when he does. 

Jimmy employs Karl to help search, and no, it's not cheating if he's texting Sapnap their coordinates.

karl: near the kitchen

sap: okok, don't let him near the stairs

Karl lets out a snort. The stairs. Got it.

He starts yelling "I see you" every time he enters a room, hoping to warn Sapnap with pure volume. When Jimmy ends up near the stairs despite Karl's best attempts, he yells it as loud as he can and distracts Jimmy, giving Sapnap a second to run. A few minutes later, his phone buzzes.

sap: thanks <3 i'll give u 5 bucks if i win

Karl laughs as he feels his face heat at the heart. Impulsively, he stops running and stoops over, pretending to catch his breath while he types out a response with shaky fingers.

karl: bet <3

Feeling rather proud of himself, Karl straightens up and hurries after Jimmy, phone back in his pocket.

They end up catching the only other person still hiding, and return to the jail. Someone speaks into their walkie-talkie, tells Sapnap that he's won the money, and Karl holds his breath as the other man jogs into the room.

And he's glowing. God, Sapnap really does get competitive, and now he's grinning as he hurries towards the jail, eyes alight and squinted as he cheers. He's hugging people and gazing at the money and Karl can't find it in him to look away, no matter how hard he wills his eyes to move.

Finally, after he's calmed down a bit, Sapnap walks over to Karl, his demeanour shifting from pride to something softer. 

"Hey." He leans against the wall, turned towards Karl.

"Hey."

"So... I seem to remember owing you five dollars," Sapnap says, tongue in his cheek and breathing heavy still.

Karl gives it a second, fake-ponders. "That does sound familiar."

"How about I do you one better?" At Karl's curious expression, Sapnap continues. "Let's go out for dinner tonight! You've cooked enough; we can find a place with outdoor seating or something."

Karl nods as he feels a smile split his face. (Dinner. Sapnap is taking him out for dinner.) "I guess," he sighs, rolling his eyes. "If you insist."

Sapnap laughs, "Oh, you know you want to," and shivers run down Karl's spine at the rough timbre of the man's voice.

Jimmy pulls Sapnap away to talk about the prize, and Karl is left there, leaning on the wall and grinning. God, he probably looks so dumb right now. (God, he probably looks so lovesick right now.) He just can't find it in him to care. Sapnap is genuinely happy and it's contagious, infecting Karl along with everyone else in the room. Even though everyone else has just lost their shot at a hundred grand, they're all laughing and chattering away, and Karl knows that it's Sapnap's influence, his joy, that's making them this way. It's undeniable.

After about half an hour, they climb back into Karl's car and start the drive home. Karl offers the keys to Sapnap, who turns them down (unfortunately. Karl would love nothing more than to sit in the passenger's seat and watch him drive for hours on end). 

Sapnap's still riding the high of winning, all giggles and fast movements, and Karl glances over as he swipes through playlists and tries to select one. Finally, he seems to make up his mind and clicks one, and an ABBA song begins to play from the car speakers.

Karl feels himself beginning to laugh, but sniffles himself when Sapnap fixes him with a warm glare.

"You will never mention this to anyone."

"Mention what?" Karl grins. "Your love of Swedish pop?"

Sapnap reaches over and swats at him playfully, and that sunburn of Karl's sure is coming in handy as he feels himself flush at their close proximity.

"So, uh," he says, trying to break the sudden tension filling the car, "where were you thinking for dinner?"

Sapnap straightens up in his seat. "Um, I don't know for sure... I was looking earlier and-- Basil's, maybe? They've got Greek food. Or, uh--" He pauses, clearing his throat, and all of a sudden Karl knows what the other restaurant on his list is.

"Bad Daddy's?" Karl asks, if only to spare his friend the embarrassment (because honestly, the food's amazing, but who chooses Bad Daddy's as the name of a burger place?). At Sapnap's nod, he agrees. "Both of those are good! Bad Daddy's--" he's just throwing the name in for the look on Sapnap's face now "--is a bit more, I don't know, typical, but still good. And then Basil's is a little adventurous, a little more out there. But I'm down with either."

"You choose," Sapnap says earnestly.

"Oh, come on, you're the one who just won a hundred grand. You pick."

"Okay, can we do Basil's?"

Karl nods, typing the location into the Tesla's touchscreen (for simplicity, of course; he's not showing off. He isn't.) and then starting the car. He pulls out of the hospital parking lot and begins the drive to the restaurant, content with Sapnap's presence beside him and Super Trouper blaring from the speakers.

Chapter Text

"So," Karl says once they're seated in a corner booth at Basil's, eyeing up the condensation-covered glasses of ice water that sit on the table in front of them. 

"So," Sapnap responds, and a meant-to-be-discreet-but-totally-isn't glance up reveals that there's a whisper of a smile on his face as he taps his fingers on the plastic seat below him. 

Karl always seems to forget that Sapnap is shy. They'll be with his friends or on stream and Sapnap is funny, almost outrageously so, and he's giggly and easygoing and then they're alone together and he can't even meet Karl's eyes. (And maybe that has a little more to do with the fact that they're both a little aware of what they're doing here, and maybe Karl doesn't mind.) 

"How does it feel?" Karl asks. "Being rich."

"Oh, same old. I've gotten used to it at this point; all those cars and women just got boring after a couple years." Sapnap's mouth is quirked up in a half-smile as he says this.

Karl snorts as he takes on the millionaire accent that Sapnap is trying—and failing—to replicate. "Women I can understand, but cars? Come on, Nick, I don't believe it." And he's just called Sapnap by his name for the first time not on stream, and it shouldn't feel as personal as it does. He hopes that his blush isn't giving anything away. (It's definitely giving something away.) 

"It's true, it's true," Sapnap laughs, voice going-- is that British? Australian? Southern? (Oh god, he can probably do an incredible Southern accent. That is most certainly not hot. Nope.) "After my sixth Tesla, they all started to blend together. Just like my sixth Jessica."

They're both laughing now, and they're laughing about how obviously fake it is, the idea that Sapnap could be less than amazed by a car, but it also feels like they're laughing at the idea of Sapnap having 'Jessica's and also maybe having a 'Jessica' at all. Which, honestly, Karl should just grow the balls to ask; it's not as if they aren't close enough. He's just a bit scared of the answer. Either answer. Both.

A waitress arrives and maybe Karl tries to catch Sapnap looking at her (which he isn't), and soon she's taken their orders for some Greek dish that Karl took about three minutes to try and pronounce. Now they've fallen into a silent patch, not exactly awkward, more just... new. 

This definitely feels like a date. 

And now that the thought's in Karl's mind, it won't seem to leave. This feels like a date. They're setting across from each other in a restaurant, about to eat a nice meal that one of them will probably pay for with his new-found cash, and then after they'll both go home to Karl's house and it just. It just feels like something. It feels like whispers of more.

Sapnap's knee brushes against Karl's as he adjusts in his seat and Karl flushes instantly at the contact. Sapnap has the chance to move away and he doesn’t. So now their knees are touching. After everything they've done, playing footsie in front of 200k viewers, cuddling (cuddling) while pretending to watch TV, this should feel like nothing, and yet: each touch feels like the first. Karl is so incredibly aware of the meeting point between his body and Sapnap's, the place where their knees meet, just out of sight, that it takes him second to realize that the other man has said something.

"Sorry, what?"

"I was just asking if you're excited to lose tomorrow."

"Lose?"

"The Pokémon stream," Sapnap elaborates. "During which I will get richer and be able to buy more cars and meet more Jessicas, and you will become very, very sad." He looks up from where he's been tracing lines in the condensation on his glass with a fingertip to meet Karl's eyes. "Ready to lose like you've never lose before?"

Karl is definitely blushing now. "You wish," he manages, laughing breathily. "You're going down." 

"Oh, we'll see about that." 

Karl's searching for something, anything, to say to change the subject so his very red face will have a chance to settle into less of a fire engine tone and more of a raspberry one. All he manages is a weak "Yeah," which doesn't do anything for him.

"You know," Sapnap starts, voice a bit softer and eyes a bit further away, "I always wanted to play Pokémon when I was younger. Like, I bought a couple decks and it was good and all, but I wanted to play. But I was sort of a loner in elementary school and by the time I got my hands on some cards, the other kids had already moved on to cooler things, to beyblades and Magic the Gathering. So I used to watch videos of other people playing, trading, which thinking back is just about the saddest thing I can imagine and I'm not really sure why I'm telling you this--"

"Okay, beyblades were not cooler than Pokémon," Karl says, cutting him off. "They were like, glorified dreidels. Not that there's anything wrong with dreidels, but Pokémon cards are so unique! There are so many different ones, and it's much more customizable than beyblades. So basically the kids in your class were dumb."

Sapnap smiles softly. "Yeah. Beyblades were dumb."

"Glad you realize that," Karl says. "But seriously, though, I would have loved to play with you. I bet you were a cute kid."

"Oh, god no."

"Come on, of course you were. You grew up to look like this." Karl gestures vaguely in Sapnap's general direction, already regretting the words.

"Like this? What is this?" 

"You know."

"No, I don't. Care to inform me?"

"Oh, come on." Karl buries his face in his hands as Sapnap chuckles. "You hear it a million times a day."

"From stans, yeah," Sapnap says with what sounds like a shrug. "Not from you."

"It's the same thing," Karl protests, drawing out the vowels with embarrassment. "Them, me, what difference does it make?"

There's a beat of silence and then Karl looks up, meeting Sapnap's gaze, which feels deeper and more focussed than it ever has as it seems to cut him to the bone, dissecting Karl for all the world (or just Sapnap) to see.

"It matters from you," Sapnap responds, voice deep, and of-freaking-course the waitress chooses this exact moment to arrive with a plate of flaky pastries (a glance at the menu reveals that they're called kolokithokeftedes, which is at least twenty letters too long). 

Karl stammers a quick thanks, unable to look anywhere near Sapnap, and busies himself with placing a few kolokith-er, pastries on his own plate until she leaves. Once they're alone again, Sapnap clears his throat.

"So?" He asks. "You gonna answer?" His voice is still lower than usual and Karl wants to record it and set it as his ringtone and put it in a song and listen to it every day for the rest of his life and he needs to answer because the pause has become too long and--

"You know you're hot" is what comes out of his mouth and Karl immediately regrets every one of his life decisions.

That was obviously not the response that Sapnap was expecting, and the other man seems to mouth the word, tasting its single syllable. "What?" He responds, almost bewildered.

"Oh, come on. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. You've got entire TikTok accounts dedicated to making thirst trap edits of you. Because you're hot." At the look on the other man's face, he continues. "This isn't new information. You're like, very attractive. You probably could get six Jessicas if you wanted to." (Please don't want to.)

Sapnap scoffs, face flushed. "Okay, Karl. I hardly think you're an expert."

"No? You don't think I know about being hot?" Karl makes a face if only to hide the awkwardness of the situation threatening to seep into his words.

"Well, I sure as hell didn't say that," and it's muttered under his breath and Karl isn't even sure if he's heard correctly and does Sapnap find him--

"Not hot," Sapnap continues, voice teasing. "Pretty, maybe."

And Karl's eyes are wide and he's considering jumping from his seat and simply bolting out of the restaurant and running fifty miles from here because Sapnap has just called him pretty. Pretty. Running away without paying seems rude, though, so instead he compromises with shoving an entire kolowhatever in his mouth and immediately almost choking on the soft pastry. When he's managed to gulp it down, he turns back to Sapnap, who is definitely laughing at him, which somehow only makes him seem hotter and now the waitress is here again, for God's sake.

When she's delivered the main course, something called 'moussaka' that Sapnap had said that his dad used to make, and left them alone again, Karl distracts himself by filling his own plate. They both eat in near silence, only speaking to comment on the food, and when they’ve stuffed themselves as full as humanly possible, Sapnap asks for the bill. As he pays with today’s winnings, which is definitely not hot in any shape or form, Karl finds himself wishing that their night didn’t have to end so soon. It’s been wonderful, of course, perfect and more than he expected, but yet—he feels sort of disappointed. It feels incomplete.

When they step out of Basil’s into the humid air, it’s dusk, the sky alight with leftover sun that turns the whole world orange. Sapnap climbs into the drivers’ seat, and Karl is thankful, because there’s no way he could drive in this condition. (Not drunk; just happy.)

And then Karl climbs in and his hand hovers over his seatbelt and he’s holding his breath for some reason, and he looks over at Sapnap and the other man is watching him, face soft, and Karl turns his body towards him. And then Sapnap’s hand is cupping his cheek, and his fingertips are rough and Karl can hear both of their hearts beating. Karl exhales a single, shaky breath into the night and then his lips are on Sapnap’s.

And they’re kissing. And Karl has kissed before, a couple girls in high school, a guy or two after graduation, and it’s been fun but never amazing, never that perfect movie kiss, and technically this isn’t either, with Karl’s ribs pressing painfully against the center console and feta cheese on his breath and he’s pretty sure that their teeth clinked together at first and yet—it’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect, because Karl is kissing Sapnap, and Sapnap is kissing him back, cupping his face in one hand as his stubble brushes against Karl’s jaw and his hair tickles his forehead.

And they’re kissing. And it’s enough.

Chapter Text

They’ve been sitting in silence for the past ten minutes as streetlights flash past and Sapnap navigates. Karl thinks he might be in shock. (He’d kissed Sapnap.) (Sapnap had kissed him.) 

What does this mean for them? (God, he's a good kisser.) Is this a one-time thing? (His lips are smoother than Karl had imagined.) Why didn't Sapnap tell him that he likes men? (He tasted sweet and smoky and rough around the edges and Karl never wants to let go.) 

His face had gone a bright red when Sapnap finally pulled away, and he'd hidden in the collar of his shirt while he attempted to calm his racing heart, the silence not even a bleep on his radar. However, as the minutes dragged on, it started to feel stilted, awkward. Now he’s sitting there trying to work up the courage to say something about the fact that they’ve just kissed (they’ve just kissed) and he catches sight of Sapnap’s face in his peripheral and oh. He looks… well, he looks pissed. He’s almost stewing, chewing on his bottom lip with his eyebrows drawn tight enough to define the line between them. He looks like he's debating saying something aloud, and Karl inhales to break the silence first but is interrupted by Sapnap as he speaks.

“Fuck,” he says. “Can we just— I didn’t mean to do that. I shouldn’t have— can we just pretend that never happened?”

And the smile falls from Karl's face as he feels his lungs pause. He repeats the sentence in his head, trying to make some sense of it. He waits for Sapnap to continue, to mend what he's just shattered, but the silence has returned.

Karl’s heart is in his stomach as he stares, wordlessly pleading for him to look at him, god damn it. “Sapnap, I—“

“Karl.” Sapnap’s eyes are fixed on the road ahead, and he’s gripping the steering wheel so hard that there’ll probably be a dent. “Please.”

“Nick—“

“I said leave it. Please.” And Sapnap finally meets his eyes but it’s awful, it’s nothing like he pictured, and they’re blown wide now, begging, pleading, and Karl can’t look away. “I fucked up, I made a mistake. Can things just go back to how they were?”

And Karl’s heart breaks.

He’s absolutely humiliated. He’s sitting in this car, face red and tears threatening to spill from his eyes, and he’s just kissed the man he’s in love with and now he’s being told that it was a mistake.

A mistake.

The silence is stretching, Sapnap still waiting for an answer, So Karl does the only thing he can think of.

He lies through his teeth.

“Yeah,” he says, tries to make his voice lighthearted. “It was a mistake.” He adds a laugh at the end to try and sell it but his voice breaks a little, failing to hide the emotions threatening to spill over and overwhelm him. 

Sapnap lets out a breath and faces the road again and his hands are shaking on the wheel and his gaze has hardened once more.

And that's that.

They pull into Karl's driveway and he finds himself hovering in the car, hoping that something will change. He imagined that entire conversation. Of course. It's the only logical explanation; why would Sapnap lead him on, take him on a date, kiss him, only to call the whole thing a 'mistake'? (A sudden shudder rakes through Karl's body at the word and he attempts to disguise it as a shiver.)

Sapnap doesn't pause. As soon as the car is parked, he locks it and hurries inside Karl's home. 

Karl can't make himself follow.

He's lost. He's grappling with reality, threatening to sink in.

He pulls out his phone and does the unspeakable, too distracted to think straight.

He calls Dream.

"Hello?" The man answers, voice deep. 

"Dream," Karl starts, and then finds no other words. It doesn't help that this is Sapnap's intimidating, famous best friend who will take his side in any conflict and definitely doesn't want to know about Karl's stupid mistake.

"Karl? What's up?"

"It's-- you know what, never mind." His voice is breaking, fraying at the edges.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Dream sounds concerned, although Karl's probably imagining it. "Is everything okay?"

"I just--" he chokes out. "I think I just messed up everything."

And then he's crying. Tears shake his small frame and he pulls his knees to his chest as wet spots appear on his shirt. His free hand is desperately clutching at the fabric of his pants, clenching as tight as he can as he tries to ground himself through it all.

Dream's voice sounds far away as he speaks but every word is a blur as Karl breaks down. Eventually, the words become clearer.

"...talk to me, Karl. What happened?" 

"I messed everything up," Karl manages. "I messed it all up and now it's ruined and he hates me and--" He can't finish, sobs filling the car.

"Hey, shh, shh," Dream pleads, murmuring. "What did you do?"

The humiliation that floods Karl's veins isn't enough to stop the words from emerging. "I kissed him, Dream. I kissed Sapnap."

Chapter Text

It’s one of those nights that’s almost too quiet, too still. The world seems to be frozen as time ticks on. No breeze blows through Karl’s open window, no crickets chirp outside. It’s silent.

It feels wrong. As though there should be some tornado on a rampage headed directly towards the house, or a nation-wide tsunami, or a strike of lightning. Why isn’t the universe as torn up as Karl is?

Because he is. Torn up, that is. Karl is aching in some deep, hollow cavity in his chest, and it’s overwhelming him. How did things go so wrong, so quickly?

After baring his heart to Dream amid scattered sobs, Karl had sat in the passenger seat of the Tesla, too afraid to enter his own house. He’d known what would meet him inside. Awkward laughs, maybe a surface-level conversation, nothing to mend the chasm that’d formed between them so suddenly. After ages, he had finally walked in, only to find that Sapnap had disappeared into his room. Judging from the tinny voices sounding from within, he’d hopped on call. 

So. No conversation.

Karl sniffs, face embarrassingly wet. It’s nearly three in the morning, the only light in his room coming from the moon through his window. It’s not like he sleeps well on a normal night; the half-empty bottle of melatonin that sits on his shelf next to a few Monster cans stopped working years ago, despite his continued attempts. 

Tonight is worse than most, though. Thoughts fill his head, whirling about like the tornado he’s wishing for. (Is he Dorothy? Or the witch? Probably Toto.)

The idea sends a hysterical giggle out of his mouth and into the silence of his room, and it’s followed almost immediately by a rough sob. Right. Sapnap’s room is far too close to be making any noise this late at night.

So it must be time to do what Karl always does when the insomnia gets too bad, when the thoughts are too much.

To the roof.

After tiptoeing down the hall to one of the empty guest rooms on the other side of the house and cracking open a window, Karl clambers out onto rough shingles and inhales the chilly air deep into his lungs. He lies back, stretching out his arms and legs until it looks like he’s making an imagining snow angel.

The stars are out tonight.

His eyes find the big dipper immediately, and then are drawn to the little dipper, just as they have since he was a kid, sitting up here with his brother.

He doesn’t sleep, but he finds some semblance of rest on the rooftop, looking out at the universe.

After about an hour, when the cold starts to seep under his pajamas and chill his skin, Karl sits up and pulls out his phone. His fingers click on his Discord messages with Sapnap before he can even think.

He itches to say something, anything. Even just a “you up?” would be better than this silence. And yet the night’s events keep replaying in his mind.

The date. Sapnap calling him pretty . The kiss.

The kiss.

Karl had been so sure. They’d been flirting all day, dropping hints. When he’d gotten in the car, surrounded by that orange sunset, and Sapnap had looked at him like that, he’d known that the moment was right.

Except that it wasn’t. Because despite Sapnap seeming into it (the whole hand-on-face thing sure did), he hadn’t been, and it had been a “mistake”. A misunderstanding. 

Karl’s phone buzzes, jerking him out of his thoughts, and he realizes that he’s still looking at his and Sapnap’s Discord messages.

And there’s a new one.

sap: i’m really sorry

Right as Karl finishes reading the three words, they disappear. Message deleted. But the bottom of his screen says that Sapnap is typing, so he tries not to overthink. Thank god for Discord’s lack of read receipts. 

Sapnap is awake at four in the morning, and he’s typing and retyping something, and Karl can’t help but love him for it, and it hurts..

After a few minutes of typing, another message pops up.

sap: i didn’t mean it.

Didn’t mean what?  The kiss? Or calling it a mistake? Karl’s heart is pounding as he watches this message get deleted as well, the typing sign still up. The next message is faster.

sap: you up?

And it’s ironic that he’s said the same thing Karl was thinking of sending, and Karl’s chest aches at the realization that the other man must know that he’s awake.

Because Sapnap knows him. Knows his sleepless nights, his overthinking. Knows his love language and doesn’t complain when Karl is all over him. Knows his habits, the foods he likes. Knows him.

He knows him, but he doesn’t love him.

Sapnap’s message sits unanswered, and Karl returns to staring at the night sky.

Chapter Text

The sun rises, and Karl along with it. It’s still too early for the rays of light to cast any warmth on his face, but his eyes still detect the change in light behind closed lids. His arm is asleep from where it’s been cushioning his head, and his back is sore from--sleeping on the roof. 

The realization assists his brain in waking and he sits up, body complaining at the change. He must have fallen asleep last night. His phone sits where it was discarded the night before, and Karl recalls the messages. Sapnap had clearly been awake, agonizing, trying to incite conversation, and Karl had bluntly denied his peace offering. Well, not so much ‘denied’ as ‘ignored’, although Sapnap knows the inner workings of Karl’s sleep schedule better than anyone and will almost certainly take the lack of an answer as dismissal. A few clicks and Karl can see that last night’s final message has been deleted as well.

A sigh escapes Karl’s chest, his breath barely forming in the morning chill. What a situation he’s in. Kissed the man he’s madly in love with; was shut down. Was offered an olive branch; went silent. This seems more like something out of an awful Dream fanfiction than his own life, some carefully-constructed torture intended to play with his heart just so. And it aches. (His heart, that is. It feels like he’s been shot or suffocated, suffered some awful wound.)

And now Karl has to put on an act for the fans. 

He makes his way to the kitchen, footsteps quiet, and prays that it will be unoccupied.

No luck.

Sapnap sits at the counter, looking about as well-rested as Karl’s sure he does himself. Their eyes meet for a moment before Sapnap’s return to his phone.

So that’s that.

And Karl deserves it. I mean, Sapnap had offered him a chance to talk it out, to fix things, and he’d turned his back. Really, there’s no one here to blame but Karl.

That doesn’t stop it from hurting, though. This Sapnap is like a different person, like the man who’d stood on the front porch awkwardly instead of the one who had taken Karl on a not-date and offered his shoulder for the taking. This Sapnap is closed off, ‘tough’, a two-dimensional character not yet fully fleshed-out. 

This Sapnap doesn’t love him.

It’s obvious, radiating off of his body; his hunched shoulders, his clenched fists. Even his hair stuffed under a cap just screams apathy.

The sight of it stings.

Karl makes breakfast for two. He’s still a host, still going to be the gracious home-owner his mother would claim as hers. 

Sapnap looks at the plate as it’s set in front of him, his words of thanks seeming genuine even as he refuses to look up at Karl.

And Karl is nothing if not self-sabotaging, so he ignites conversation.

“Pokemon stream later.”

Sapnap nods, still typing away.

“I might give our Pokemon expert a call pretty soon to just make sure that he’s all ready to go,” Karl continues.

A hum of agreement.

“And George has this idea that we should be posting more TikToks, and you know how he gets.” Karl is growing desperate for a response, but to no avail. “Okay, I’ll--uh, we should leave around noon, so I’ll see you then.” His voice cracks on the last word. He doubts Sapnap notices.

Karl goes for a drive, if only to get out of the house (and away from Sapnap). He listens to loud music. He sings along. He pounds his fist on the steering wheel. He speeds, a bit. Nothing seems to help, but at least he has this time to compose himself before going on camera in front of hundreds of thousands of viewers who are going to overanalyze every word, every glance. He needs to figure something out, because there’s nothing he wants less than his and Sapnap’s fight plastered over Twitter. 

The fans are going to figure out that something’s the matter, even if Karl puts all four years of  highschool drama classes to use and acts his heart out. The emotions surrounding the two are too obvious, too tangible.

Karl hates it, but there’s only one solution.

He needs to talk to Sapnap before they can get on camera. And he needs to fix this.

Karl parks. He gets out of the car, and walks up to the front door of his own house, movements mechanical. His hand turns the handle before he can overthink, and then he swigs the door open and narrowly avoids hitting Sapnap in the face.

“Oh, sorry,” he says, releasing his hold on the handle. “Didn’t think you would be right there.”

“I was just throwing my shoes on,” Sapnap replies, voice devoid of animosity and lacking any emotion at all. Impassiveness doesn’t suit him.

“Sounds good.” Karl holds back the urge to throw up a thumbs up. Any awkwardness and it’s like he’s twelve again.

Only once they’re both in the car does he release a breath. They still have a few hours before the stream starts, which means that Karl has time to enact his plan.

It makes him sound like some criminal mastermind about to begin world domination, instead of a frightened boy who just wants the love of his life to meet his eyes.

And, frankly, the ‘plan’ is nothing more than ‘drive around and try to apologize’, but here goes nothing.

After a few minutes of tense silence as Karl pretends to drive in a specific direction, and then he speaks.

“We should--we should talk.”

“Yeah,” comes the uncertain response.

Karl stares down the two white lines ahead of him. “We’re about to be on stream for a bunch of people. And, uh, you know how they-- how they pick up on stuff. So they’ll notice if we don’t talk to each other.”

Sapnap is clearly listening, but he says nothing. Silence descends again as Karl continues taking random turns.

With no response coming, Karl inhales. “I’m--”

“I’m sorry,” Sapnap blurts, cutting him off. “I’ve fucked this whole thing up.”

“No, no, you don’t… you don’t have anything to apologize for?” Karl’s voice trails up at the end. This isn’t according to plan.

“I do. I read things wrong, and I don’t want you to think I’m that kind of guy.”

(A guy who kisses other guys? Karl can’t figure out what’s happening and his heart is pounding, shaking his chest.)

“I don’t--” Karl attempts to speak but Sapnap interjects, set on getting this out.

“And I know you. I know you, and I shouldn’t have guessed, it was fucked up and wrong and I’m sorry.”

“Nick,” Karl says slowly, the name bitter on his tongue. “I--what are you apologizing for?” He looks over and Sapnap is staring at him, eyes pleading.

“For fucking this up.

For making a stupid mistake.

For kissing you.”

“So you didn’t mean to kiss me?” Karl’s leg is shaking as he waits for the answer he already knows is coming.

“Of course not! Fucking of course I didn’t mean to kiss you, Karl.” His voice is agitated, words coming fast. “It was fucked up. I just--please don’t think of me like that. Don’t think that I’m someone who goes around forcing himself on straight guys.” 

Wait.

Karl opens his mouth to speak, mind a mess of jumbled thoughts.

“Forcing himself--? Straight?”

Sapnap nods. “I misread the situation, but I should never have kissed you. I don’t usually kiss straight guys, it’s just that I thought--well. I thought wrong.”

Karl sits back, his head hitting his seatrest, and switches lanes so that he can pull to a stop at the side of the road. He puts the car in park and shifts in his seat so that he can look at Sapnap. The other man is flushed, chin tucked down in embarrassment.

“Look at me,” Karl says, and green eyes meet his.

“Sapnap, I’m not straight.”

Chapter Text

“Sapnap, I’m not straight.”

Green eyes widen. 

Karl moves slowly, unbuckling his seatbelt so he can fully face Sapnap. The other man is finally looking at him, albeit with disbelief, and without thinking Karl reaches out and touches his face for a moment, fingers dragging over stubble. God, he’s perfect.

And he thinks Karl is straight.

“You’re--you’re not?” Sapnap’s mouth remains open after the question has left it.

“Well, I’m not gay,” Karl begins and he visibly deflates. “I am bi, though.”

“Bi.”

“Yep. See, when a guy likes girls but he also--”

“Dude, I know what bisexuality is.”

Karl snorts. “Just making sure, because it didn’t seem like it.”

“Karl, I’m bi.”

“Oh.” Karl sits back a bit, hand dropping. Sapnap is biting his lip and Karl isn’t completely sure if he meant to say what he just did, but it’s out there now. They both are. 

And Sapnap is bi. Sapnap likes guys. Karl had guessed, of course, with the flirting and the kiss (the kiss the kiss the kiss) but then there had been everything after the kiss and he’d sort of just given up on the idea of Sapnap being anything but completely hetero. 

“Okay, wait. Let me just--so you aren’t straight?”

Sapnap shakes his head, chuckling. “Definitely not.”

“And you told me that it was a mistake because you…”

“Because I was sure that you were straight. And I didn’t want to fuck up everything we had. So I tried to take it back, but, uh, that didn’t really work out, I just hurt you more, and I obviously didn’t want that--and then I talked to Dream and he said--”

“You talked to Dream?”

Sapnap nods.

“I did too. That little… he heard both sides of the story. And he didn’t think to tell either of us about this little miscommunication.”

“Playing God.” 

They both sigh, and then meet each other’s eyes and start laughing. What an absurd situation. 

And Karl’s starting to… maybe he should just…

“I really am sorry, Karl. Even though you aren’t straight, I still shouldn’t have kissed you without--”

And Karl’s lips are on Sapnap’s and they’re kissing.

And somehow it’s better than the first time, because now they both know what they want and they’re on the same page and--God, that stubble is really doing it for Karl as it scrapes across his chin, his jaw. His breath is on Sapnap, the other man’s hands tangled in his hair. It’s like being in one of those high school rom-coms, where both the teens can’t keep themselves off of each other for more than a moment. And then Sapnap bites Karl’s lip, just a pinch, and Karl leans further over, reaching.

And the horn blares, making both men jump back. Karl takes his hand away from the wheel gingerly.

“Oops,” he mutters, holding back a grin. “Got a little…” He’s blushing like there’s no tomorrow, he just knows it. And he can’t take his eyes off of Sapnap ( definitely-not-straight Sapnap, Sapnap who wants to kiss him and who knows that Karl does too). 

“I’m gonna be honest, I really just wanna kiss you again,” Sapnap replies, voice like gravel. “But we should probably get off the road.”

“The road.” Karl glances out of the car window. “ The road.” He’d forgotten about their location, about Sapnap’s hasty parking job. (The window is a bit foggy. Karl blushes. High school rom-com.) 

“I’m just gonna--” Sapnap turns the car back on, clearing his throat and awkwardly adjusting his mirrors.

Karl keeps his eyes firmly on the guy who’s just kissed him in his own car. (The embarrassment threatens to sink in but Karl is too high, too euphoric to let any of that in. He’ll save that for later, when he can deal with it, take it apart in private.)

Sapnap pulls back onto the road and starts driving and Karl might be imagining it but his breathing sure sounds shaky.

“So, uh… Pokemon?” He offers weakly.

“Pokemon,” Sapnap responds. “The stream. Right.”

“Right.” Karl leans back, letting out a breath of air.

“That is… the last thing on my mind right now.”

“Mine--mine too. But the, uh, the stream is pretty soon so we should…”

“Get in the Pokemon mood. Yep.”

“Yep.”

And it’s silent, nothing but the sound of wheels on the road and their breathing. (And Karls thoughts are whirling, mind moving at a mile a minute as he tries to debrief the car ride’s happenings.)

After what feels like forever but, according to the touchscreen in front of him has only been three minute, Karl speaks. “Was Basil’s a date?”

Sapnap glances over. “Did you want it to be?”

“Nick. Of-freaking-course I wanted it to be a date. Was I not obvious enough?”

“I don’t know, maybe you were just going for a, um--bro dinner.”

“A bro dinner.” Karl raises an eyebrow and he knows Sapnap sees it.

“I wasn’t sure,” he protests. “Like yeah, you were flirting, but I didn’t know if you… meant it.”

“If I haven’t made it obvious enough since we’ve gotten in this car,” Karl says. “I meant it. I mean it.” He emphasizes the words, their importance. “I mean it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I, uh.” Sapnap meets his eyes, taking them off the road for a moment longer than needed. “I mean it too.”