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‘You listen to music in English?’
Langa looked up from his bag. He’d been rooting around in it for a while, hunting for the homework sheet he’d shoved in there haphazardly while rushing to follow Reki out of the classroom. He and Reki had been lazing about for a while since getting back to the Kyan house, watching YouTube compilations with names like ‘Top Ten Worst Bails!’ and ‘They’ll Never Skate Again After This!’. Or Reki had been watching, anyway. Langa had been more interested in watching the way Reki’s face scrunched up in exaggerated empathy after witnessing a particularly bad bail.
Reki was sprawled out on the mattress, holding Langa’s phone aloft as he scrolled through Spotify.
‘What?’ Langa said.
‘Music,’ Reki waggled the phone in his hands as he turned to look at Langa, ‘I didn’t know you listened to English music.’
Shrugging, Langa leaned forward, trying, unsuccessfully, to see which playlist Reki was looking at. He didn’t mind Reki looking at his phone, he had no secrets from him. You know, other than the whole ‘being in love with him’ thing. Reki locked the phone, dropping it to the bed as he turned to Langa and smiled at him. God Langa wished he could get closer. ‘Yeah.’ He said, climbing onto the bed and slotting himself into the space Reki had made for him, ‘I know of a couple of famous k-pop songs but only really listen to, uh, English music.’
He felt, more than heard, Reki huff a laugh above him.
Langa raised an eyebrow and was met with more laughter in response, ‘Just imaging baby Langa grooving to BTS.’
‘Shut up.’
After another hour or so of YouTube and not-spooning, as Langa had come to dub their cuddling sessions – it was easier to pretend that what he felt wasn’t romantic when you didn’t use words like ‘spooning’ and ‘caressing’, Langa found his crumpled homework and they spent most of the rest of the night glaring down at it, with Reki attempting to explain compound sentences and Langa staring blankly.
Langa didn’t listen to music much. He liked music, it just didn’t occupy his mind a lot. He knew some popular songs, and he liked to mess around and make playlists when he couldn’t sleep, but he definitely wouldn’t say that he was ‘into’ music.
Recently, though, with Reki’s sudden interest in music, Langa had started brushing up. And, if he found some songs to add to his Reki playlist while brushing up? No harm, no foul.
The Playlist had started innocently enough. He’d been studying, some music on in the background to fill the empty silence of his home, when some innocuous song - Talk Too Much by COIN, he thinks - started playing and his mind was flooded with Reki. He still can’t hear those first few beats without his heart skipping.
He wanted to remember that feeling, and he certainly didn’t want to forget a song that reminded him of Reki, so he put it into a playlist. Then he maybe added a couple of more that reminded him of Reki, and a few more after that, and before he knew it, he had a four and a half hour long playlist of songs dedicated to his best friend. Not weird at all.
And it definitely wasn’t weird that 80% of those songs were love songs. Love songs which Langa would listen to alone, in his room, in the dark, while imagining a perfect future with his best friend, like a lovestruck teenager in a 00’s movie.
That’s where he finds himself now, mouthing along to Phoebe Bridgers and thinking way too hard about the way that Reki’s face lit up when Langa bought him a can of his favourite soda.
Oh, he was in way too deep.
They’d been skating for about two hours when Reki waved his hand at Langa to stop. Together, they sat perched atop the skate ramp, Reki’s head resting on Langa’s shoulder. It was moments like this that Langa was infinitely pleased that he’d fallen for a friend that seemingly had no concept of physical boundaries. Lifting his hand to gently untangle the knots in his best friend’s hair, he smiled at the hum Reki gave.
‘Hey Langa,’ Reki spoke, bringing Langa out of his relaxed stupor.
He hummed in response, smiling down at Reki.
‘What does “reh, eh, kih, ih” mean?’
Langa paused in his combing, smiling an apology when Reki whined in response. He had literally no idea what Reki was talking about and needed to concentrate slightly to detangle the other’s pronunciation.
‘Reki.’ Langa said, after a long moment.
‘Yeah?’
‘No,’ Langa laughed, pulling Reki closer in a moment of sheer adoration, ‘that’s what you were spelling.’
Reki looked even more confused than before.
‘R. E. K. I. Right?’ Langa typed it onto his phone with his free hand as he spoke. Reki’s face lit up in recognition.
He nodded, pulling away from Langa to face him directly. Langa shivered, feeling more than a little disappointed at the loss of contact.
‘So what does it mean?’
‘What?’ Langa frowned, ‘It’s your name?’
‘Yeah, obviously. But what does the English word mean?’
Langa shook his head and laughed. What was Reki talking about? He was looking at Langa as though he was about to unlock all the secrets of the English language with this one word, and, in all honesty, it was breaking Langa’s heart slightly that he had to disappoint. Langa looked out across the skate park, watching a stray cat sniff at their bags.
‘There isn’t a meaning?’ He eventually responded, ‘It’s not a word in English.’
He could barely stand to look at Reki, not wanting to see the disappointment in his downturned lips nor hear the resigned sigh. Yet, when he did, eventually, look over at his friend, Reki looked anything but upset. Confused, maybe. Pleased, definitely. But disappointed? Not in the slightest.
He beamed at Langa, nodding in the ‘all-knowing’ manner that he had perfected. Understandably, Langa thought, there were few people more all-knowing than Reki. Maybe Carla, but she was a robot, so that didn’t really count.
‘Do you really have to flirt in front of us? There are children present.’
‘Shut up, Miya.’ Langa could feel the vibrations of Reki’s words from where the other was curled into his chest. It was night, they were outdoors, it could get cold. It was perfectly reasonable.
Langa rested his chin on Reki’s head and looked at Miya from the corner of his eye, ‘Reki was cold.’
‘Lend him your jacket then!’
‘Body heat is the best way to prevent hypothermia.’ Langa said, matter-of-factly.
‘Yeah, because that’s a huge risk in Okinawa.’ Miya said, sticking his tongue out in response to Reki giving him the finger. ‘Just warn us if you’re gonna start making out. You know, so I can find a bucket to throw up in.’
‘I think it’s cute.’ Shadow said.
‘Yeah, you would.’
Shadow rolled his eyes, turning back to the phone in his hands. Joe was in the middle of a beef against some novice. The poor kid had no idea what he had signed up for. He was getting absolutely decimated and Joe wasn’t even trying.
Langa felt Reki sigh into his chest. Rubbing Reki’s back, Langa tightening his grip around his friend and rocked gently from side to side. ‘You alright?’
‘Yeah…’
‘I can feel you pouting, you know.’
He felt Reki push his face firmly into his chest, before pulling back, coming up for air. He loosened his grip, dropping his hands to Reki’s hips.
‘Mind if I use your phone to listen to some music? Shadow is using mine to watch the beef.’
Langa nodded, fishing his phone and earphones out of his pocket to hand to Reki before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into his chest once more.
‘Langa?’
Langa smiled at Reki from across DOPE SKETCH. He’d been restocking wheels while Reki dealt with a customer. A kid under ten that desperately wanted to learn, and whose parents were incredibly nervous about it. Reki had kitted the kid out with safety gear and the perfect starter board, and, with his usual enthusiasm, even more excitement for skating than she’d had before. It was incredible to watch. Langa had never known anyone to have such a positive impact on everyone he came across.
‘Who’s Taylor Swift?’
The laugh burst from Langa before he could stop it. ‘What? Why are you asking that?’
Reki was frowning, ‘She’s an English singer, right?’
‘I mean, kinda. She’s American.’ Langa approached the now-pouting Reki. He bumped his fist into Reki’s chest, ‘Sorry, you just surprised me, is all. Doesn’t seem like your kind of music.’
If anything, Reki’s frown seemed to deepen.
‘Why do you want to know?’
Langa watched Reki, attempting to read his expression. Unfortunately, that had never been one of Langa’s talents. Instead, he relied on Reki to tell him exactly what he was thinking. A reliance that, admittedly, had failed him before. And, apparently, was failing him again.
Reki was blushing, rubbing a hand on his neck, ‘I just saw the name somewhere and wondered, is all.’
‘She writes, uh, love songs.’ Langa said, ‘Or, that’s what she’s known for, I guess? I only really know her famous ones and some of her new stuff.’
‘Gold Rush.’ Reki said, in English, fingers cupping his chin in thought.
‘What?’
Reki simply hummed. He was looking beyond Langa. ‘Let’s see if we can get Sketchy to do a powerslide!’
‘Yeah!’ Langa grinned, the half-finished question in his mind dissipating.
It was Friday and Reki’s mum had allowed Langa to spend the night. Even the condition that they had to complete their homework tomorrow hadn’t deterred the boys from their delight. They’d spent the night watching movies, much to the frustration of Koyomi, who wanted to watch the newest episode of her favourite drama. (‘No way! Don’t forget that you owe me, brat!’ ‘I don’t owe you shit, Reki!’ ‘Koyomi! Language! Leave the boys alone to their videos, you can watch your show tomorrow.’) If Langa had happened to choose a horror film so that Reki would spend most of the night with his face buried in Langa’s neck, well, that was no one’s business but his own. And if Reki had remained curled into Langa while they watched the comedy of Reki’s choice, well, that was just a happy surprise.
At the insistence of Reki, Langa had showered first. Smelling like jasmine and hyacinth soap and dressed in a pair of Reki’s old pyjamas, Langa made his way back to Reki’s room.
Was I fearless at seventeen years old,
Or was I faking it? I was just a kid leavin' home.
Music was drifting from Reki’s room. Music that Langa knew far too well.
Now I get scared for reasons I don't know,
Is it just because I ain't tough enough to be alone?
Langa pulled the door open, ‘Reki, what-’
Their eyes met. Reki was crouched on the bed, Langa’s phone in his hands as the song blasted out of its tinny speakers. He grinned sheepishly, embarrassed at being caught.
It takes all that I got,
Not to fuck this up,
‘Sorry, I-’ He glanced at the phone in his hands, ‘Thought I’d play some music?’
Langa could feel the furious blush on his face. He shook his head, silently reminding himself that there was no way Reki could understand the lyrics.
Closing the door behind him, Langa stepped into the room. ‘That playlist isn’t…’ He shook his head, ‘I don’t mind. It’s just, not, uh, not that playlist.’
So won’t you let me know,
If I’m not alone.
‘But it’s got my name on it?’
Try as he might, Langa couldn’t unlock the power of invisibility. Shaking his head, he reached for his phone, only for Reki to pull it out of his reach.
‘Reki?’ Langa clambered on the bed and grabbed at Reki’s hands. ‘Turn this off. Come on, it’s not funny.’
And I like what we got,
‘Why would it be funny?’ Reki’s eyes were burning into him, and oh god he was very close right now. Their legs were tangled together, their chests almost touching as Langa reached around Reki to grab at his phone. ‘Why does it have my name on it?’
But I’m scared of what it’s not.
Langa dropped his hands to his sides as he stared back at Reki.
‘They’re songs that make me think of you.’ Langa whispered.
So won’t you let me know,
‘What’s it about?’
Reki was whispering now, too.
If I’m not alone,
Langa searched Reki’s face, trying to find the answer he wanted to hear. Nothing.
God, why couldn’t Langa read him?
Leaning on you.
‘It’s about care,’ he said, finally, as the note held. ‘About being cared for and,’ he stumbled on his words, taking a deep breath. Reki’s hands found his, the phone lay forgotten on the bed. Langa leaned forward, pressing his forehead into Reki’s. How is it that even when Reki was the one embarrassing him, he was still the one Langa went to for comfort?
Langa breathed out, slowly, locking eyes with Reki.
‘It’s about finding someone who cares for you and looks after you, but being scared, I guess, that you’re leaning on them too much. That they don’t need you in the same way you need them.’
‘Why does it make you think of me?’ Reki was looking at him desperately, eyes wide and focussed.
‘Reki, I-’
Langa barely managed to get the words out when Reki pulled him forwards, closing the remaining inches between their lips.
Oh, Langa thought, closing his eyes. Oh.
It takes all that I got
Not to fuck this up,
So won’t you let me know
If I’m not alone.
And I like what we got,
But I’m scared of what it’s not.
So won’t you let me know
If I’m not alone,
Leaning on you.
The kiss was chaste, gentle. Reki’s lips were as rough and chapped as Langa had imagined and, oh God, if they weren’t perfect. He breathed in, smelling the warm sweetness of Reki’s breath, and opened his eyes slowly. Reki was staring at him, lip bitten between his teeth. Were his eyelashes always that long?
They watched each other for a beat. Then another. Reki began to pull back, his cheeks brightening.
‘I’m so sorry!’ He shook his head, flustered, ‘I thought that maybe…’
‘Reki,’ Langa said.
Reki looked back at him, something akin to fear in his eyes.
‘Reki,’ Langa could feel the grin splitting across his face.
‘What?’
‘Reki!’ Langa jumped toward Reki, wrapping his arms around him and pushing him back onto the bed. He was vaguely aware of Reki’s squealed laughter under him as he peppered kisses across Reki’s cheeks. He pulled away, straddling Reki and looking down at him. Reki’s cheeks were flustered, and a wide grin spread across his face, his hair somehow even messier than usual. He looked beautiful.
Reki’s hand came to rest on Langa’s face, his thumb brushing over the apple of his cheek. ‘Langa.’ God. Why didn’t Langa show him his playlist sooner?
‘Reki,’ Langa smiled softly, watching Reki’s giddiness die down to a gentle joy, ‘Reki, I-’
‘I know.’ Reki grinned up at him, 'Me too.'