Chapter Text
It’s once they’ve wrapped up the celebration of Langa winning against ADAM and the kids have gone on home that Kaoru and Kojiro find themselves passing a bottle of wine between each other on the roof top of Sia la luce. The radio Kojiro kept on the table was switched to one of the late evening jazz stations, playing a roundtable rolodex of classics and newer songs, they had almost finished off the bottle and the sun was almost setting when Kojiro plops down onto the folding chair next to Kaoru, a long sigh escaping him as he sinks into the chair and zones out.
He’d cooked almost all the food (including dessert) for the celebration, Hiromi had brought over flowers from the shop, and Kaoru had brought over decorations for their little rooftop get together. It wasn’t like he didn’t like cooking - far from it. But the spectacle of it all - head chef of a restaurant was one thing, hosting a party though? That took more energy out of him then he thought was possible at his age. It took him and Kaoru longer than usual to clean up and wash all the dishes - they had packed up the leftovers and sent Reki, Langa and Miya off with multiple tupperware containers full of food - and finally after the mad dash to get everything put away, they were done, and Kojiro felt a tiredness in his bones that he hadn’t felt in a while.
(It’s that sort of lingering heaviness that sits in your chest when you least expect it, that drags you down down down into feeling like you’re slogging through mud and sludge and everything feels hollow, feels like there’s a buzzing sound in your head and a empty chill settling into your bones.
Kojiro hasn’t felt like this since way back when, when he had to watch Kaoru break into brittle bone, hairline fractures and shaky nerves as Ainosuke declared that he’s leaving, and tossed them aside as if they were empty spaces.
He had grabbed Kaoru by the arm and they had skated to one of the abandoned buildings they had found earlier in the summer, pulled out the few cans of beer he had snuck out from home and they had passed them back and forth, shaky hands and hearts. Kaoru had been angry, hot tears burning as they rolled down his face no matter how much he tried to keep his mask up, and Kojiro had pointedly not looked at him, but he had plopped down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders and let Kaoru lean against him, tears rolling down his face.
“It’s not fair.” Kaoru had mumbled, sniffling after taking another bitter sip of beer and crumpling the can in his hand, throwing it to the side with a grunt. “He’s leaving us and he doesn’t even care.” )
He must have dozed off after he closed his eyes - just for a minute - because one minute the radio station is wrapping up some oldie jazz cover, and when he opens his eyes, he’s met with Kaoru staring intently at him, close enough that he jumps slightly with a “Wha- Kaoru?” still half asleep and blinking slightly confused. Kaoru’s lips have a tilt to them, a smile, as if he’s amused by Kojiro’s stupored state. It takes Kojiro a minute to realize that there’s something warm draped over him - a blanket - and that Kaoru’s leaning in close to brush a stray hair away from Kojiro’s face. He can feel his face burning up a bit and he holds very, very, still as Kaoru quietly “Hmms” to himself before saying “You know, we should take a trip.”
“A … a trip?” Kojiro mutters, staring at Kaoru who seems to have a glint in his eye and Kojiro can’t seem to figure out as to why.
“Mhm. There won’t be any ‘S’ events for a while anyway - they’re doing construction on the main track anyway, the kids have exams coming up, and you’re exhausted.” Kaoru says, and faintly Kojiro can hear the jazz station host warbling about the upcoming weather forecast bringing in warm weather with some storm showers scattered in for these upcoming days.
“I’m just tired from today that’s all - we had that late lunch rush too and --” Kojiro starts before he’s cut off by Kaoru gently cradling his face, thumb gently caressing his cheek and if he ran warm before, he’s absolutely burning now, and he doesn’t know what to do.
They never really discussed this whole thing between them, and Kojiro’s sure that any sort of feelings Kaoru may have had for Ainosuke when they were younger were thrashed for good after their beef, but they had never really talked about it. And it wasn’t like Kaoru was known to be affectionate, after all, they’ve spent more times bickering and pulling pranks on each other to get a rise out of the other, but they never really defined well, whatever this is.
“Um Kaoru what--” Kojiro starts, then stops when he feels warm lips press against his cheek and golden eyes stare at him with a question - Is this okay? - and he swallows, too loud in his ears, and nods. Kaoru presses another kiss to his cheek before moving onto the other one, each one slow and languid, there’s no rush to his movements, and always there’s that question again, but this time Kaoru whispers it into his ear - “Can I kiss you?” - and Kojiro nods, hands trembling because he wants but he wasn’t ever sure, and maybe it’s the wine doing the talking or the exhaustion or both, but there’s a giddy feeling bubbling up in his chest as Kaoru moves closer and sits down on Kojiro’s lap, brings their lips together as if he’s the one with a playboy reputation, easy and smooth like a fish taking to water.
Kojiro’s hands are shaking shaking shaking, but Kaoru hums quietly and moves a bit closer, rests his hands on Kojiro’s shoulders and Kojiro can’t do anything but pull Kaoru closer into a hug, burying his face into the other man’s chest, and just holds, trembling slightly because he’s not sure this is happening.
Is it? Maybe this is one big misunderstanding and the next thing he’ll know they’ll be back to bickering and -- “Kojiro. You’re thinking too loud.” Kaoru says, hands coming up to stroke his hair gently, steady and warm and Kojiro doesn’t know what to think, brain short circuiting trying to figure out what exactly is happening.
“You’re not pulling my leg are you, Kaoru” he says, voice muffled and trembling. He doesn’t tremble. He never trembles. They always call him the smooth playboy, not a care in the world, whenever he skates. He’s supposed to be the steady, strong, supportive one in the group.
Except, when it comes to matters of the heart, he’s as tender and soft as anyone else, and he’s not sure that he’s in some sort of half-drunk dream or if this is some cruel joke being played on him and he’s not sure what to think - and he feels Kaoru move, hands cool against his burning face and there’s such a soft look on his face that Kojiro forgets how to breathe for a minute.
“I’m not joking Kojiro, this isn’t some prank. It’s been a while since we went anywhere - just the two of us, and I figured it’d be a good time as any.” Kaoru says, wiping away the tears that drip down Kojiro’s face before leaning in to kiss the tear tracks, and it’s almost too much.
“Okay.” Kojiro says, staring at Kaoru’s eyes, hands trembling as he cups his face and brings him close for a kiss.
They don’t move for a while after that, don’t talk, just wrap the blanket around themselves as Kojiro holds Kaoru who hums along quietly to the radio and presses kisses along Kojiro’s neck, sweet and tender.
They don’t really keep track of time, but in between the sun setting and the night chills settling in, Kaoru gets up and tugs Kojiro back inside to his apartment, locks up the restaurant and guides Kojiro to bed before holding him until they both fall asleep, the faint crackle of the radio echoing through the apartment, one slow drop jazz tune at a time.
In the morning, they’ll talk more about the trip, but for now, they hold each other close.