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When Carlos entered the bar, he wasn't expecting it to be this crowded. For a second, he actually contemplated leaving, but then he remembered that he hadn't seen Michelle in about two weeks and she'd probably kill him if he canceled on her again.
He took a breath, then braved the crowd, already regretting not inviting her over to his place for a movie night at his place instead of this. He texted her, and didn't look up from his phone as he walked slowly over to the bar.
Someone bumped into him from behind and Carlos would have face-planted if it weren't for the strong hands steadying him. He turned his head to the side and looked down into what were the most beautiful green eyes.
"I am so sorry!" The guy exclaimed. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and my friend-" he cut himself off abruptly and eyed Carlos closely. "Hey, man, are you okay?"
That was when Carlos realized he'd been staring too long. He swallowed thickly, and didn't miss the way the guy's eyes tracked the movement, then tried his best to actually speak up and not embarrass himself further. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. And don't worry about it, I wasn't paying attention either," he waved the phone at the man and smiled at him.
The man laughed.
Carlos took a breath, tried to psych himself up to casually asking the man for a drink when he heard his name being called. His partner, who was probably replacing him as Michelle's best friend, was waving him over and he waved back. When he looked back at the man, he seemed a little disappointed, but was smiling. "Enjoy your night," the guy yelled over the music, and in a second, disappeared into the crowd before Carlos could ask him for a drink or his number.
He sighed and shook his head at his luck before he headed over to where his partner and his best friend were sitting, trying not to let his disappointment show. They both stood up to hug him, and once he took a seat, he found two pairs of eyes fixed on him. "What?"
Michelle leaned closer. "What's with the long face?"
"Nothing," he attempted to lie.
Michelle scoffed. Carlos rolled his eyes and huffed.
"Fine. I just met a guy. There was a spark. Then you-" he pointed a finger at his partner, "called me over and spooked him."
She rolled her eyes. "Could have ignored us and followed him."
Michelle let out a fake gasp and rounded on Mitchell. "Carlos? Chase after someone? Oh, the horror," she drawled dramatically, making him scowl. His partner, however, was laughing her ass off.
"I hate you both," he informed them.
They drank, though Carlos kept it at one beer because it seemed like his friends had no intention of stopping before they were well and truly drunk.
"TK!" Michelle nearly fell over in her haste to get up off the stool. He stuck his hands out to steady her and frowned in confusion at the name. There was a melodic laugh and two arms, attached to a very beautiful body, came up and steadied her. Carlos' heart nearly stopped when he saw that said body was attached to the very pretty face of the man who had bumped into him earlier.
"Hey, Cap," the man said softly, fondly. And that was when it clicked.
This guy was the new paramedic Michelle had mentioned a couple of times.
"TK, this is Carlos, my best friend," she introduced them, then to his utter embarrassment, she leaned closer to the man's ear and said, in a very suggestive tone, "he's a cop."
"Hey- oh, hi! You're the guy I bumped into earlier, right?"
He stuck out his hand way too abruptly for a handshake, and TK looked almost amused, but took the offered hand and shook it readily. "Yeah. Nice to put-"
"Hey, TK," Michelle butted in, "Didn't you say you were looking for a place to stay until you found a place to rent?"
TK nodded and helped her to sit on a stool. "Aha," he answered, somewhat confused at the abrupt change in subject.
"Well, Carlos here has a perfectly good spare bed. I'm sure he wouldn't mind lending it to you for a couple of weeks."
Carlos had never wanted to both strangle and thank his best friend this much in his entire life.
Two days later, when his door bell rang, Carlos opened the door to find TK standing on the other side. He stepped aside to let him in, and was surprised when he saw that the man had only one small suitcase with him. "Is that it?"
TK nodded. "I kept the rest at my dad's." He came in and looked around, though he waited for Carlos to lead the way inside. "Thanks for doing this. You literally saved my life."
Carlos chuckled. "How so?"
"My mom and dad just got back together after years of separation and," his face twisted in mild discomfort, or maybe disgust, and Carlos had to stifle a laugh. "Let's just say they've been making up for lost time," he shuddered.
Carlos laughed. "I understand why you needed to get out then," he offered as he went to the fridge and took out a couple of beers. He put one in front of TK and opened his own, then gestured for him to follow him. "There's really not much to show. This door leads to the patio," he pointed out. "And the bedrooms are upstairs. You wanna take your stuff upstairs? Settle in?"
"Yeah," TK said tightly, and Carlos noticed that the man's whole demeanor seemed to have changed. He was withdrawn, hell, almost restless, but he didn't really know the man enough to ask, so he ignored it and lead the way upstairs.
"We're gonna have to share the bathroom, I'm afraid," he told him with a smile, awkwardly trying to lift the mood. It worked a little bit, seeing as it got him to smile, but he still seemed tense. He opened the door to the spare bedroom but didn't step inside. "This is you."
"Thank you," TK told him sincerely, putting his suitcase on the floor. "For opening up your home to me; you didn't have to do that."
"You're welcome." Carlos smiled. "Hey, I'm making dinner, do you like fish?"
TK smiled, and he finally seemed to relax. It pleased Carlos to no end.
"I love fish."
.
Dinner was a quiet affair. TK, contrary to what Carlos had guessed about him from the only two times he'd met him, was very private and very tight lipped about anything that concerned his personal life. Carlos understood, and steered away from it, instead keeping things light and talking about their calls and their teams, or in Carlos' case, his partner.
Carlos did notice that the man's beer was left untouched, so he cleared his throat. "Do you not like this brand?" He asked as he pointed at the untouched bottle. "Because if you don't, I can-"
"I don't drink," TK told him stiffly. Awkward silence prevailed for a few seconds. He stood up a little abruptly. "Thanks for dinner, but I'm gonna head to bed; I've got an early shift tomorrow."
Carlos watched him go, stunned and a little confused, and wondered what the hell he'd just unintentionally stepped into.
The next day, TK was back to normal, if a little quiet, and Carlos went with it. He made sure to bring some orange and apple juice on his way from his shift, though, as a peace offering.
When TK came home- and wow that felt both weird and right to say- Carlos had just finished making breakfast. "Hey! Just in time; you want some dinner?"
TK dropped his duffel carelessly by the door and Carlos had to resist the urge to wince, then did wince when he, also carelessly, took off his shoes and sort of toed them in the direction of the shoe rack.
This was going to be a problem.
"Hey," TK, unaware of the alarm bells ringing in Carlos' head, greeted him warmly. "Oh, this smells good." Carlos put his own plate at the table and sat in the chair, his hands twitching as he caught another sight of the mess by the door. He ignored it though, and his attention was soon enough stolen by TK.
"You want something to drink?" Carlos stood up. TK tensed, and he hurried to assure him, "I meant some Orange juice? If you don't like that, I brought some apple juice too."
His face softened into a beautiful smile, and Carlos' heart gave a flutter. Which could only mean trouble for him.
"Orange juice."
When he put the glass in front of him, TK settled a hand on his wrist and squeezed gently. "Thank you."
Carlos just smiled.
"Hey, maybe today we can talk about some ground rules?" TK suggested. "This is your home, and I don't want to overstep or anything."
Instead of just blurting out that he needed him to not throw his things around the apartment as the first rule, Carlos had to bite his tongue and started off gently. "What did you have in mind?"
"Well, first of all, we need to settle on rent? 'Cause I think you were too polite to talk about it with me and I was too happy about finally being out of the house to notice," he told him with a smile. "Groceries are another thing, utilities, too. Also, anything I need to avoid?"
His eyes flickered involuntarily to TK's things by the door, and the other man caught on and followed his line of sight. TK let out a little embarrassed laugh and stood up. Carlos almost protested, but TK just waved him off. "It's totally fine, Carlos." He put his shoes where they belonged, then hurried up the stairs to put his duffle away. Carlos was definitely feeling guilty by the time the man made it back down.
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't be! Seriously, I'm sorry." He cracked a smile, and there was a reading edge to it now. "I should've have known that would bother you with how freakishly neat the condo always is."
Carlos just shruged, hoping the blush he could feel creeping up his neck and settling onto his cheeks wasn't very evident. "You don't really need to pay me for rent-"
TK leveled him with a look. "So, we'll be splitting the rent."
Carlos rolled his eyes, but he let it go. "With groceries, you can just bring anything you like that I don't have."
"Or," he drew the word out, leaning his elbows on the table. "We can go grocery shopping together and split the bill."
Carlos huffed. "Why did you even ask me if you're going to ignore the things I say?"
TK smiled softly. "Because you're treating me like a guest. And I'm not, Carlos, okay? I haven't even started looking for a place, so I don't know how long that'll take and I'm not really comfortable with just free loading, you know?"
Carlos was quiet for a second, then he nodded reluctantly. It still felt wrong to take the money, when he'd done this largely as a favor to Michelle- and because he had a bit of a crush on the guy and didn't want him to be homeless. "Okay. So we basically split everything between the two of us?"
TK beamed at him, looking pretty proud of himself. "Yeah! And- I don't know the first thing about cooking, so, when you cook, I'll do the dishes, deal? And on the nights you don't want to cook, I'll order take out. How does that sound?"
"We'll order, and we'll both pay for it. 50/50."
"Alright. Well, played."
Carlos just grinned.
Living with TK had its downsides, like occasionally tripping over a shoe on his way out the door, having to wait to use the bathroom because the man took forever in the shower, and, consequently, having to take cold showers for the same reason. But overall, it was good.
More than good, in fact; it was great.
Because now, he had someone to cook for, and talk to about his day. He had someone to watch, and complain about, movies and shows with. He had someone who asked him how his day went and actually listened when he talked; who comforted him on the bad days and got him out of his own head.
Carlos, for the first time in years, had someone to come home to.
It was both wonderful and terrifying. Wonderful for all the obvious reasons, but terrifying because he knew it was temporary, that TK would be leaving soon and he would have to reacclimate himself to living alone. It was crazy, how in ten days, TK Strand had manged to turn his life upside down and not even be aware of it.
"I've got a suggestion," TK burst out of the laundry room, looking confused and slightly pissed off. "You start doing my laundry and I'll take over-" here he stopped and looked bewildered, like he couldn't think of a single thing he could trade for the task, and Carlos found himself shaking his head fondly. When the silence stretched and TK seemed to be truly on the verge of panic, he took pity on him.
"Vacuuming," he supplied. It was the chore he hated doing the most.
TK lit up. "Vaccuming! I'll do that forever if it meant I could stay away from that evil thing," he muttered vehemently as he jabbed a finger in the direction of the laundry room.
Carlos laughed, and ignored the way his heart fluttered at the mention of forever. "You have yourself a deal. Now, come on, you're gonna miss the best part."
TK made a wounded noise. "You started it without me?!"
When he came home, the last thing Carlos expected was to find TK sprawled on the floor, muttering angrily at- Carlos squinted to make it out, and yeah- that appeared to be a peanut butter jar.
"TK?" He called out gently, and the man's head snapped up. They'd only known each other for a short time, probably three weeks now, give or take a few days, and in that short time, he'd seen the other man happy, angry, irritated, but never sad.
Now, though, with those green eyes filled with tears, and his lips trembling, TK looked absolutely miserable.
Carlos rushed to his side and slid onto his knees beside him. He was surprised when the jar was shoved into his hands. "Can you please open this jar for me?" He muttered, looking at it like it was responsible for every single thing that went wrong.
Carlos did, easily, and TK let out a wounded sound. Then he sniffled and took the jar back, a spoon materializing in his hand. And that was when he noticed the splints on his right ring and pinky fingers. He must have made a noise because TK looked over at him with the spoon halfway to his mouth. Carlos pointed at the hand holding the jar and tried to sound casual as he asked him about it.
"Today freaking sucked," he told him miserably. To Carlos' surprise, he continued, and it was as if the words burst out of him. "Nothing, and I mean nothing, went right. I lost two patients today, I fell and broke two of my fingers, I had a fight with my mom, and Michelle. And my dad nearly got killed because he can't stop playing the fucking hero." He nearly screamed that last part, and it all clicked. Michelle had been the one to tell him about Owen's cancer, and though he'd wanted to check in with TK, he also hadn't wanted to overstep, so he hadn't mentioned it.
TK had been strong about it, he'd been handling it well, a little too well in Carlos' opinion, and it seemed that it was finally catching up to him. He shifted until he was sitting beside the man and made sure to keep his arm pressed to his. A minute or two, or maybe even five minutes, later, TK dropped his head onto Carlos' shoulder. Another minute later, and his breath hitched. "I don't want him to die, Carlos."
Carlos' heart ached for him, and he found himself gently removing his arm from under the other man to wrap it around his shoulders. TK shuddered, and Carlos pulled him in closer. He buried his face in his chest. The muscles of his back were locked up tight, and he seemed to be holding his breath, almost. Carlos recognized what he was doing; recognized that he was trying to keep it together and not appear weak, but Carlos was intimately familiar with how destructive that could be. So, when TK tried to pull away, he didn't let him, just held him gently but firmly against his chest, and rocked them back and forth.
He felt, but didn't hear, the exact moment TK let go.
Carlos closed his eyes and buried his face into the soft hair and absentmindedly pressed a kiss there.
They stayed like that for a long time.
And Carlos didn't mind it at all.
"You just passed the fifty mark," TK informed him, tone filled with disbelief.
Carlos huffed and continued to do his pushups. He hadn't thought it through, when he'd just dropped down onto the living room floor and started doing them, with TK sitting on the couch eating his vanilla ice cream. The man was watching him instead of the movie, at this point.
"Why would you do this to yourself? Pushups are a form of torture."
Carlos ignored him.
"Wow, sixty. I don't know whether to be turned- impressed or freaked out by this."
Carlos was pretty sure he hadn't imagined the slip up that had nearly caused him to fall face first, but he did wisely ignore it.
He got to seventy, and though he could do more, the running commentary TK provided was a little distracting.
When he stood up, he caught TK checking him out and stood stock still, breathing a little heavily as the other man's eyes ran over him like a physical touch. It took a few seconds, but then the other man's eyes found his, and though there was a flash of surprise there, it was gone in the next breath and was replaced by a teasing twinkle. "I enjoyed the show," he told him with a smirk. "Same time every Tuesday?"
Carlos rolled his eyes. "Shut up."
When Carlos left for his shift in the morning, TK was a sniffling, pathetic mess on the couch. When he came back ten hours later, he was more or less the same, though he was covered in a second blanket and shaking like a leaf despite it.
He put his stuff away quickly and walked over to him.
He crouched in front of the couch, and watched the man sleep for a few seconds, then put his hand on his forehead. He let out a breath of relief when he found that he was only a little warm, then couldn't resist running his hand through TK's hair, which was just as soft as he'd imagined it.
When TK's eyes fluttered open and settled on his, Carlos found himself smiling automatically. "Hey," he said quietly. "How are you feeling?"
"Like crap," he croaked miserably, voice almost a whisper.
Carlos frowned. "That doesn't sound like just a cold, man. Maybe we should go to the hospital, huh?"
TK groaned. "No way, I'm not moving from this couch.
Carlos rolled his eyes and stood up. "Fine. But I'm making you soup, and you're eating it."
.
TK ate the soup, and by the time he was finished, he could barely keep his eyes open. Carlos helped him upstairs and into his bed, and froze when he squeezed his hand. "Thank you."
Carlos smoothed his hair back and smiled softly. "Feel better, TK."
.
Carlos didn't know what woke him up, so he spent a few minutes sitting up in bed, dazed and a little conofused. Just as he was about to fall back into bed, he heard it again; a deep, hacking cough that was coming from the direction of the bathroom. He threw off the covers and raced into the bathroom, only knocking once before he slipped in. "TK?"
He cleared his throat. "Hey, Carlos," if he had sounded bad earlier, now he sounded ten times worse.
"Hey," he stepped closer, wincing as the cold of the tiles bit into his feet. He extended his hand and let the back of it gently touch TK's forehead.
"Shit, TK! You're hot," he exclaimed, kneeling down next to him and putting his hands on both his cheeks.
Unfocused eyes met his and a dopey smile appeared on his lips. "Thank you."
Carlos, despite his worry, laughed. "You really are something else," he muttered under his breath. He grabbed the thermometer from the cabinet and went back to TK.
It took more than it should have to get his temperature, mainly because TK was no help at all. When it beeped, Carlos took it out of the other man's mouth, and his heart nearly stopped when he read the number on the small screen.
103.7
"Shit!" He cursed, and TK winced, though his eyes were still closed.
Carlos took a calming breath and let it out slowly. First things first, he needed to get him up off the bathroom floor. "Come on, TK."
Carlos deposited TK on the bed gently, and he didn't waste any time in curling up on the bed, looking incredibly small. He ran back to bathroom, grabbed a glass of water and a grabbed the ibuprofen bottle for the fever.
He put both on the bedside table and sat beside TK. He coaxed him into a sitting position, let him lean his weight fully onto Carlos, then leaned awkwardly to the side to grab the pill bottle.
When he grabbed TK's hand and put the pills in it, he didn't expect the reaction that elicited. TK scrambled away from him, falling off the bed in the process, and threw the pills away. Carlos blinked in surprise and watched the man curl in on himself.
"No pills, no pills-" TK was muttering this very quietly, almost like the words were a reminder.
Carlos tried not to dwell on what that reaction, and the fact that TK didn't drink at all, meant, and focused on the current situation.
"TK, it's okay. It's me." He kneeled in front of him, putting both hands on the other man's shaking arms. "Let's get you up, okay?"
With TK back on the bed, shaking and miserable and covered with the comforter, Carlos stood and looked down at him helplessly; he at a loss of what to do.
So, he did the one thing he could. He called Michelle, because she would know wxactly what to do.
"Take him to the ER, okay? They'll get his temp down. And Carlos?"
"Yeah?"
"Make sure they don't give him any type of pain medication, okay? Even if it's for the fever."
Carlos nodded. "Yeah, okay. Thanks. And sorry to wake you up so late."
"Don't even worry about it," she dismissed. "Keep me updated and tell TK if I saw him at the station tomorrow, I'm kicking his ass."
He laughed and rubbed a hand down his face. "Yeah, okay."
Neither of them were dressed to go out immediately, so Carlos changed hastily, then grabbed some sweats from TK's room. TK was passed out on the bed, curled up in a ball and Carlos felt bad for waking him up, but he knew he had to take him to the hospital.
He roused enough to sit up, but Carlos had to be the one to help him into the sweats.
"Sorry," TK mumbled as they were going down the stairs.
Carlos pulled him closer and pressed a kiss to his temple. He didn't say anything, mostly because he didn't think TK was aware he'd said the words.
.
TK was quiet the whole drive home, and his grip on the pharmacy bag, which contained the antibiotics and some herbal cough syrup, was so tight that his knuckles were white.
Carlos was at a loss.
He knew this was because he'd found out about the man's addiction, and though he wanted to assure him it changed nothing, he wasn't sure how well recieved the words would be coming from him now.
When they entered, TK mumbled a thank you, then made his way up the stairs in a hurry, like he couldn't wait to get away.
Carlos sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face, then looked at the time and groaned. It was 2 am, which meant he only had six hours before his shift started.
This was shaping up to be a long day.
.
"What is all this?"
TK whirled around, nearly dropping the glass of water in his hand, and nearly dropped it in surprise. "Oh, hey," he smiled. His voice was still hoarse, but he did sound a lot better.
"You sound better," he commented as he walked closer. He put a hand to his forehead, then his cheek. "No fever!"
TK's face was beat red, and Carlos withdrew his hand when he realized it had nothing to do with the fever and everything to do with his touch.
Carlos cleared his throat and looked away. "What'd you order?"
"Pizza," TK told him. "From that place you told me you wanted to try?"
His heart skipped a beat, and he inwardly rolled his eyes at how easy he was when it came to TK Strand.
So they ate their dinner at the table, the conversation as easy as breathing. Then watched a movie and spent the whole two hours complaining about how bad it was.
Carlos had never been happier.
.
He was about to head to his room when he felt a hand grab his wrist. He turned and gave TK a questioning look and the other man let him go and looked down. He wrapped his arms around his own waist and leaned against the wooden banister.
Carlos kept quiet, giving him the time he needed.
"I'm an addict," TK confessed, the words whooshing out of him in a rush. "I'm sober now. Have been for a little over three months. But-" he let out a shuddering breath. "I- I just thought you're entitled to know after what happened."
"Thank you for telling me," Carlos said gently, and put a hand on TK's elbow. "But for the record, I wasn't entitled. You have every right to keep anything you want to yourself, TK."
He looked up at him through wet lashes, and not for the first time, or the hundredth, Carlos wanted to kiss him.
He swayed closer, and so did TK, but at the very last second, when their lips were mere inches apart, TK backed away and shook his head. "Sorry. Sorry, I can't-"
"It's okay. I'm sorry-" Carlos tried to assure him, feeling disappointment settle in his gut like a rock.
TK shook his head. "I'm really sorry," he whispered one last time, then entered his room.
The soft click of his bedroom door echoed in the silence like a gunshot.
The next week was a study in awkwardness, even though they didn't really get to see much of each other.
They'd been having dinner separately, and Carlos hadn't realized how much he enjoyed and looked forward to that part of his evening until it was no longer happening. The days, and nights, seemed longer, and dull around the edges.
Which brought him to the next conclusion.
He was in love with TK Strand.
When the ringing of his phone woke him up at 2 am, Carlos felt his heart leap into his throat.
When he saw it was his mother, the fear that gripped him was almost paralyzing.
"Mami?" He whispered, gripping the phone so tightly he could practically feel its hard edges digging into his bones.
"Carlitos," she sighed, her voice shaky. "Mijo, your father was shot tonight."
"Shot?!" He threw the covers off and started pacing in his room. "How? Who- where are you?" He stuttered out.
She gave him the name of the hospital and he hung up after he promised her he was on his way. His hands shook badly and he stared at them, willing them to stop. Without thinking much about it, he immediately went to TK's room and knocked on his door. It only took the other man a few seconds to open it, and his expression went from cautious to worried in a second.
"Carlos? What's going on?"
His eyes filled with tears he didn't let fall and he let out a shuddering breath. "My dad- he- he got shot, TK."
His face softened, and Carlos was surprised by the amount of pain he could see in the other man's eyes. For him. TK crossed the remaining distance between them and pulled him in. Carlos hugged him back tightly, clinging to him. He buried his face in the other man's neck and felt the tension lessen with every stroke of TK's hand on his back.
"What do you need, Carlos?" He asked him quietly, lips hovering close to his temple but not touching the skin.
Carlos swallowed. "I'm gonna go to the hospital." He pulled away and scrubbed a hand down his face. "Sorry I woke you, I just-"
"Hey, no," he interrupted him. "I'm glad you did. Can you give me five minutes?"
He blinked at hihim in confusion. "What? Why?"
"Beacsue I'm coming with you," he told him like it was obvious. Carlos opened his mouth to protest, but TK shut him up with a look. "You're not driving in this state."
Carlos could do nothing but nod.
.
"Mami?" Carlos called out as he jogged the few feet between them. He pulled his mother into his chest and felt her arms wrap around him, patting his back soothingly. He found himself relaxing in the saftey and comfort her arms provided.
"Your father will be alright, sweetheart. He's strong," she told him confidently, and he believed her, even though he could see the cracks of doubt and worry in her expression.
"Of course he will," he tried to sound as reassuring, but probably failed. "What happened, Mami?"
She sighed. "I don't know any details since it's an open investigation, still." She patted his hand. "It'll be alright."
He squeezed her hand and smiled slightly. His mother's eyes flickered past him and her eyebrows hit her hairline. "And who's this?"
"Ah, Mami, this us TK; he's- my roommate. And a friend."
TK took his mother's hand and shook it. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Reyes. I wish it were under better circumstances, though."
"Likewise," his mother smiled, then gave Carlos a knowing look. "And how did you two meet?"
"Michelle introduced us," Carlos informed her, trying his best to understand where his mother was going with this. Because that look on her face? Carlos was very familiar with that look, and it could only spell trouble for him.
.
The wait was long, and somehow, between one second and the next, he fell asleep. When he woke up, it was to the sound of his mother giggling.
Carlos frowned. His mother didn't giggle.
He didn't move, kept his eyes carefully closed, and listened in.
"You can't tell him I showed you this, though. He'll kill me."
"My lips are sealed," his mother told him, and giggled yet again. The first notes of My Heart Will Go on came on and TK must have turned the volume down because it became very faint.
Carlos nearly groaned as he remembered that night very vividly.
He didn't know how Titanic had been brought up, but they'd been locked in a heated debate only seconds later its mention and that had escalated into them actually watching it. TK loved the movie, claimed he'd watched several times with his mother, while Carlos had adamantly told him that he loathed the movie.
Halfway through the movie and a few drinks in, Carlos had admitted that he actually loved the movie but hated the ending with a passion, because it was stupid and they could have been together in the end. Fast forward a little bit, and Carlos was quietly mumbling along with the Celine Dion song and drunkenly muttering about how unfair it was that Jack didn't make it.
TK had recorded the whole thing, and had shown him the next morning. Carlos had beeged and threatened, but nothing had persuaded the man to delete the video.
Carlos groaned into TK's shoulder and sat up. "I'm gonna kill you," he informed him casually.
Andrea smacked him gently on the arm. "That is no way to talk to your friend, Carlitos," she scolded him.
His mouth hung open in disbelief and TK just gave him a smug smile. Carlos huffed, but then things caught up with him, and the playful demeanor was gone.
"Any news?"
His mother deflated and shook her head. "Nothing. Still in surgery."
Carlos leaned forward and dropped his head in his hands. TK's hand on his back felt way better than it should, and he felt some of the tension seep out of him.
And then they waited.
Carlos hefted his bag and knocked on TK's bedroom door. It was 6 am, and there was a good chance TK would still be asleep, but it felt wrong to leave without saying goodbye.
Yeah, it was only for a week, but still.
His dad had fought against it, but ultimately Carlos and his mother had won the argument and had decided that Carlos would be staying with them to help out with the ranch and at the house while his father recovered and until they could find a ranch hand to hire.
The door opened and Carlos found himself smiling at how adorable TK looked in a rumpled hoodie and shorts, hair a mess atop his head and rubbing his eye with a fist like a child. He wondered if that swoop his heart did whenever he saw TK would ever go away.
TK squintedat him, still half asleep, then seemed to register the bag. "You're leaving already?"
"Yeah. Want to get there before my parents. Get things settled for them."
He got a little thrill at seeing the disappointment on TK's face, but he didn't allow himself to dwell on it much. "I'll be seeing you in a week," he told him with a smile.
He didn't expect the tight hug, nor the fleeting kiss TK pressed to his cheek. "See you in a week,"
Maybe it was just his imagination, but the words sounded like a promise.
He ended up staying at the ranch for two weeks, and though he would never admit it to anyone, he missed TK. A lot.
It didn't help that his mother seemed to love him, and kept teasing Carlos about his obvious crush on him.
He hadn't told TK he was coming today in an effort to surprise him, and when he got home, it was eerily quiet. He frowned, dumped his keys in the bowl, and walked further in. That was when he caught sight of him through the window.
TK had his back to him, sitting on a chair and bobbing his head. He bit back a smile and realized TK must have had his headphones in and that was why he hadn't heard him come in.
"TK," he called out loudly, and watched as he jerked in his chair and almost fell out of it in surprise.
The smile that spread on his face when he straightened up was nearly blinding. "Carlos!"
He bounded over to him and hugged him tightly with his arms around Carlos' neck. It made Carlos wonder if this meant he had missed Carlos as much as he'd missed him.
When it didn't look like TK was going to pull away after a couple of seconds, Carlos allowed himself to tighten his arms around the other man and buried his face in his neck. He closed his eyes, and breathed him in, inexplicably happy that he was allowed to have this.
"How's your dad?" TK asked as he, almost reluctantly, pulled away. He took him by the hand and led him over to the chairs.
There was a pitcher of orange juice and only one glass, so TK went in and grabbed another one.
Carlos relaxed, and for an hour, they just sat there and caught up. Carlos felt relaxed in a way he hadn't in a long time, and he knew it was all due to TK's presence in his life. Simply put, though nothing about this felt simple, Carlos was slowly but surely falling deeper and deeper into love with TK. And though there were times when it felt like the feelings could be mutual, TK didn't say anything, didn't make a move.
And when Carlos had, he'd rejected him.
So, he tried to convince himself, maybe it was time for him to try to move on.
It took him three dates and the real possibility of losing him to realize that there was no moving on from TK Strand.
.
Operation get over TK, as Michelle liked to call it, was officially a go two days after he was back home. She'd set him up with a paramedic from another crew, and had sung the guy's praises.
Daniel was half an hour late, which Carlos only let slide because he was determined to at least see this date through.
The conversation was a bit boring, the food wasn't all that good, but the guy seemed genuinely nice and when he kissed him good night, it felt good.
He agreed to a second date, because he wanted to give the man a chance, and because he couldn't tell if he genuinely didn't like the guy because he really was boring or for the simple fact that he wasn't TK.
When he came back home that night, at a respectable hour of 10 PM, the house was quiet. Carlos went upstairs and hesitated at TK's door. It was weird, but he felt the need to talk to TK about it, because somewhere along the way, this man had managed to work his way into every aspect of Carlos' life that he now genuinely appreciated, and even needed, his opinions, and his thoughts.
He was about to knock, but then thought better of it and retreated into his room.
.
The next date was somehow worse, because Carlos went in knowing what to expect. They kissed again, and when Daniel invited him up to his apartment, Carlos had almost said yes, just because he felt like he should.
But he didn't.
He bid him Goodnight, and just before he got into his car, Daniel asked him on a third date.
Carlos, even though every cell in his body was screaming at him to stop torturing himself, said yes.
.
It was two days later when TK sat him down and told him they needed to talk.
"I'm going to move back in with my dad," TK told him, eyes looking everywhere but at Carlos.
Carlos' heart sank and he swallowed thickly. Logically, he'd known this was temporary; known TK was going to leave him eventually. But it didn't make it hurt any less to hear him say the words out loud.
He wanted to protest. Had to bite his tongue to keep from asking TK to stay with him, forever, and instead pulled himself together. "Is everything okay?" He aimed for casual and somehow, despite the turmoil he was going through, he managed it.
"Mom's going back to New York, and he's having his surgery in a couple of weeks. Figured I'd keep him company. Don't want him to be alone, you know?" To Carlos, who had known the man for over two months now, this seemed like a lie, but who was he to judge? He let it slide and nodded.
"Yeah, that makes sense. When are you-" he cleared his throat, unable to get the words out. "When are you leaving?"
"Mom's leaving on Thursday, so that's when I'll be moving out."
Thursday.
Which also happened to be the day of his third date with Daniel. Also the day he planned on breaking up with the guy and putting himself out his misery.
"Okay," he said simply, even though he wanted to say so much more.
TK got up without a word, so abrupt that Carlos hadn't even had the chance to take a look at his face.
TK was leaving today.
That was the only thing going through his mind as Daniel droned on about- well, Carlos hadn't been paying enough attention to know.
TK was leaving. He was probably packing his bag right now.
The tightening of his chest increased tenfold at the thought of going back to an empty house.
He stood up abruptly. So abrupt, in fact, that his chair would have fallen to the ground if he hadn't caught it.
Daniel stopped talking and gave him a questioning look. "Carlos?"
"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I can't do this. I don- I can't go out with you anymore. I'm really sorry, Daniel."
With that, he turned on his heel and ran all the way to his car. He didn't break the speed limit, but he came pretty close to it. When he got home, it was dark and quiet.
His heart sank.
He closed the door and fell back onto it, his eyes closed and regret filled him. He should have said something sooner. Should have been clearer with TK, should have told him exactly how he felt about him.
And now he was too late.
He pushed away from the door and went into the living room, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw him. Sprawled out on the couch, dead asleep, was TK. Carlos had known, thanks to Michelle's heads up, that their shift had been rough, and he was glad TK was getting some rest.
He was so happy the man was still there that he almost woke him right then and told him exactly how he felt about him.
Instead, Carlos went into the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water and settled in to wait until TK woke up on his own.
To his relief, he didn't have to wait long.
When TK woke up, he didn't seem to immediately notice Carlos, so he took the time to watch him. TK stretched his arms up over his head, his body twisting at a weird angle as he yawned.
Carlos huffed a laugh when TK nearly fell off the couch, a laugh which TK heard and was startled by. "Hey. You're back early," he commented, sitting up.
Carlos shrugged. "You're still here."
TK ducked his head. "I fell asleep."
He nodded. "Yeah."
Silence fell upon them, only to be broken by TK clearing his throat. "Well," he started as he stood up, "I'm gonna go now."
"Don't go," Carlos blurted out.
TK stopped dead in his tracks and turned to him, eyes narrowed. "What?"
"Don't leave." He walked over to him, until there was only an inch or two of space between them. TK looked at him in disbelief, and he seemed a little pissed off.
He took a breath, seemingly trying to compose himself. "I can't stay, Carlos."
"Why not?!"
"Because I don't want to see you with someone else! Which will happen at some point considering you went on three dates in two weeks with this guy," he burst out, now looking downright angry, but mostly heartbroken.
"You won't."
TK deflated, and looked at him in confusion. "What?"
"You won't have to see me with someone else."
"Why not?"
Carlos smiled. "Because I just ditched him at the restaurant." He closed the space between them, letting his fingers dance their way up TK's arms.
"Why?" TK asked, voice breathy and barely above a whisper.
"I didn't want you to leave without- without telling you."
Now there were tears in TK's eyes. "Tell me what?"
"That all I could think about when I was with him was you, that every single time he said or did something, I compared him to you, and he never measured up. That all I looked forward to during those dates was when I would get home to you."
TK sniffled and shook his head. "I thought you didn't feel the same way," he told him.
Carlos huffed. "That should be my line! You're the one who didn't want to kiss me," he huffed indignantly.
"I was in a weird place, and you-" he looked up at him, eyes sad. "You're so good, Caelos. You deserve better than me."
Carlos tugged him close, hands fired in his shirt on either side. "I get to decide what I deserve, TK. And- there is no better than you. Not to me."
TK swayed forward and let his forehead drop onto Carlos' chest. "I'm a mess."
"So? A little mess never hurt anybody."
"Says the neat freak," TK muttered with a laugh.
Carlos laughed with him and squeezed his neck. "You drive me crazy in the best way, you know that?"
TK pulled away and when his green eyes met Carlos', he smiled shyly, then looked down. He put a finger under his chin and lifted it up.
"From the moment I met you, I knew you were someone special. When you came to live here, you managed to prove me right more and more every day." Carlos cupped his cheek with one hand, and smiled when TK leaned into the touch. "Coming home to you has been the best part of my day from the moment you got here. You changed everything, and- TK, I don't want to be without you. I don't want you to leave; I don't think I can take it."
TK surged up into him and pulled into a bruising kiss that was more a clash of teeth and tongues than anything else. Carlos let out a surprised huff, before his hands settled on the other man's waist and he brought him impossibly closer. TK let out an impatient whine, and walked them both backwards until Carlos' knees hit the couch and then he was falling.
TK followed him down onto the couch, settling his knees on either side of Carlos' hips. He leaned back a little to take off his shirt, but was back on him only a second later, teeth biting at the sensitive skin of his neck and his lips following in the next breath, soothing the ache and making him want to beg for more. Carlos closed his eyes and leaned into it, pulling him close. He let his hands roam, let his fingers scratch and dance across the soft skin of the man's exposed back. And he basked in every single second of it; from the way TK tasted, to how it felt to have him under his hands and in his arms.
When they eventually pulled back for air, both of them were breathing heavily, and smiling like this was the happiest they'd ever been. Carlos looked up into his eyes and TK leaned down to press a close-mouthed kiss onto his swollen lips.
"I think I might be falling in love with you," Carlos whispered in the hair of space between their lips.
TK smiled, bright and happy. "I think I might be falling in love with you, too."