Chapter Text
Atsushi did nothing wrong, did he?
He didn’t choose to be in the orphanage. He didn’t choose to be stupid or slow to understand. He didn’t choose to be noticed by Dazai, he didn’t choose to be in Akutagawa’s way, he didn’t choose to get involved in any of this.
He never has a choice.
Yet everybody villainizes him.
Atsushi eyes Akutagawa uncomfortably, a weary smile on his face. He’d been approached by Akutagawa a few moments back, and although he wanted nothing more than to head home after a long week, he accepted a short conversation anyway.
The two stand next to the school gates, off to the side to avoid being trambled by the stampede of students leaving the building. Distant chatter plays in the background, and the summer heat beats down on them relentlessly.
Akutagawa scowls. “What’s between you and Dazai-san?”
“Sensei and I?” Atsushi presses his lips together and studies Akutagawa’s expression—but he decides to not question it, for now. “He’s my homeroom teacher.”
Akutagawa coughs. “I would not call the excessive amounts of physical contact usual for a mere student-teacher interaction.”
“What?” Atsushi blurts out, in disbelief at the other’s statement. He wonders if perhaps it was a joke, but there’s no sign of amusement behind Akutagawa’s cold eyes.
“You heard me, Nakajima Atsushi,” Akutagawa says firmly, crossing his arms. Atsushi stares back in shock. “I demand to know the relationship between you and Dazai-san.”
Atsushi thinks about how to respond but comes up empty. What could he say anyway? I’m just his student , would likely have the opposite effect; I hate him , would be too harsh; we get along well, would definitely give off the wrong idea. His eyes meet with Akutagawa’s, making him hesitate even more.
Honestly, this conversation is clearly stupid. But he’d hate it if weird rumors stemmed off of this: He has a college to get into, and a future to write after years of struggling to keep his head above waters.
“Listen,” Atsushi starts, but when he looks up, Akutagawa’s gaze has shifted to something behind him. Atsushi turns around right as Dazai walks up to the two.
“Hey, Atsushi-kun.” Dazai smiles, and hands him a piece of paper. “You forgot something.”
Atsushi takes his homework in hand. “Ah, thank you very much.” He lets out a sigh of relief, but he freezes when Akutagawa glares holes into his back.
“Dazai-san,” Akutagawa says, loud and steady, gripping the handle of his bag, “it’s been a long time since we last spoke.” His posture straightens and his expression turns into one of intensity.
“It’s good to see you’re doing well,” Dazai replies, making Akutagawa’s eyes practically light up.
Atsushi listens to the two hold a quick exchange, wondering what their relationship is, for Akutagawa to have asked him something like that. He doesn’t want to pry too much, but the way Akutagawa gives Dazai his undivided attention is too far of a gap from his usual aloof self for Atsushi to not take notice.
“Nakajima,” Akutagawa growls, pulling Atsushi out of his thoughts. The conversation seems to have finished. “I will reach out to you again at another time.”
Atsushi forces a quick smile in response, gritting his teeth to keep from blurting out that he never hopes to see the other again. Akutagawa, noting the confirmation, leaves through the front gates before disappearing into the crowd of other students heading home. Atsushi releases the tension in his spine.
“He’s so stiff, isn’t he?” Dazai asks, a short yawn following after.
“Is that the issue here..?” Atsushi questions, thinking back to how Akutagawa reacted to Dazai. Something’s definetely up. Excessive amounts of physical contact ? What part of his behavior is any more usual for a “normal student-teacher interaction”?
“What else would it be?”
Atsushi swings his bag over his shoulder. “I don’t know. It’s got nothing to do with me.”
“Ooh, are you acting like a moody teenager?” Dazai chuckles.
Atsushi sighs; the exhaustion from the day is finally catching up to him. “Please don’t tease me like that.” He bows shortly and turns to leave. “I’ll be going now. Have a good day, Sensei.”
Dazai gives him a small wave. “Bye-bye, have fun now.”
“Right,” Atsushi answers doubtfully, making his way toward the gates. He glances up at the sky and takes a deep breath. “Can I really have fun ?”