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Punz starts awake, instantly reaching for the knife under his pillow, even as he frantically seeks to recall where he is, to assess the danger and figure out his next move.
Fingers close around the knife handle, he freezes, waiting for a repeat of whatever woke him. The sound comes again, metal on metal, a wheeze of a sound that leaves his skin crawling on his back even as he rolls frantically away from the sound, bringing his knife free as he turns his head towards the sound, seeking the cause.
The wheeze comes again; from a dark shadowed figure sat in the chair by the banked fire. The firelight glints off the axe blade in his hand, momentarily broken by the whetstone moved across the blade.
Punz’s gaze flicks upwards, catches the hooded pale smiling face and the urgent tension flooding his body recedes.
Dream always arrives as night fades and turns into dawn, as the brightening sky makes everything below shadowed and indistinct, featureless and grey. Punz never knows if that is by design, or by accident, but it is fitting. Both because of the hidden face Dream shows to the world, never revealing his true thoughts or intentions and the nature of the requests Dream made of him in those dawn-time meetings.
It was a time when normal people would be sleeping. But that’s not a word Punz would use to describe either himself or Dream.
“You,” he exhales into the pillow. “Is there ever a chance you’ll visit without waking me and scaring me half to death at the same time?”
This time it’s Dream himself who wheezes, a breath of laughter.
“Probably not,” he admits and there’s a tone of rueful truth to it that Punz can recognise even if he can’t appreciate it. “It’s not like we want people to know what we’re doing do we? Can’t really meet up at the Community House to discuss it. Having half of L’Manberg knowing what we’re talking about.”
“No. I suppose not.” Punz sits upright, reaching for the discarded shirt on the floor and pulling it on, tucking his Enders’ eye pendant under it, and then retrieving his dagger from his lap as he gets out of bed to join Dream by the fire.
Dream looks pointedly at the dagger in his hand as he settles down. Punz stares back at him, eyebrow quirked. He’s not going to meet a man holding an axe completely unarmed. He has no reason to distrust Dream, but he has no reason to trust him either and giving trust to people was not something which caused people like him to live long.
Once settled he turns towards Dream.
“So what are we talking about? You came here for a reason I presume. It’s not like you usually make social calls.”
“You never know, I might,” Again there’s a wheeze of laughter behind Dream’s words. “But you’re right. This time it’s not a social call. There’s a situation coming up; I need your help again.”
“Who do you want me to kill?”
‘I’m not sure if it’s kill. But. It might be necessary.” Dream pauses, drawing the whetstone across his blade again. “Quackity has decided to try to kill Technoblade, and he’s persuaded Fundy and Tubbo to help him. Ranboo’s been dragged into it as well.”
Punz snorts. “Well good luck with that… wait, you don’t want me to help them do you? Because I bet they can’t get it done.”
Punz knows he can stand up in a fight with most people in this world. But there are some he wouldn’t want to mess with; Dream is one, but Technoblade is another. All men die, despite Technoblade’s statements to the contrary, but his skill, his experience,his preparedness and his inclination to go violent first and ask questions later all make killing him a difficult proposition and not one Punz wants to take on unless he has to.
But Dream shakes his head; his mask is becoming clearer as the room lightens. “Tempting though it is, I need Techno alive for now. That’s where you come in; you’re to be my insurance to make sure they don’t.”
“I’m insurance now?”
“Oh come on, you often are, I just don’t usually call it that. They want to bring Techno to L’Manberg. For ‘justice’ they call it. But they’re going to execute him. In case they bring him in, I need you in L’Manberg, ready to act as a distraction so we can get him out.”
“Why can’t you do the distracting?”
Punz regrets the question as soon as he asks. Dream won’t answer questions unless he wants to, never reveals information unless he has to. He has plans within plans within plans and he never explains them. It’s one reason why Punz is sat here with a knife in his hand, wishing he had a sword or an axe instead.
But Dream shrugs. “I can’t have L’Manberg knowing I’m helping Techno. Besides, I may be needed elsewhere. I’m good but even I can’t be in several places at once. So I need you to be the visible one if necessary. It’s not going to be easy though. You may have to hold several of them off at once.“
Punz considers for a moment. Three of them are fair fighters; one on one they wouldn’t be a threat, but together would be different. And he knows nothing of how Ranboo fights. He’s killed him once and easily, but that was when Ranboo was new and disorientated, with no equipment.
But the aim is not to kill them but to disrupt them which means Punz can feint and run and counter-attack. He’ll be unexpected and they won’t be focussing on him. But is there anything or anyone else he needs to worry about?
“Is there anyone else that could help them?”
Dream hums in thought. “I don’t think so. Tommy… Tommy’s safely in exile and knows nothing of this. I think Philza might be helping Techno, but haven’t confirmed that for sure. Who else? Eret? Ponk? Niki? Who else can L’Manberg count on?”
It’s a fair point.
“Well fighting four of them is going to be hard enough. I’ll need a danger payment for this. It’s still high risk.” It’s never a good policy to set a low price for his services and Punz is not going to start now. He pays enough in blood and pain himself for what he does to not have others value it.
Dream snorts. “Of course you do. You wouldn’t be who you are if you didn’t. But you’ll only get paid if I actually need you. There’s not guarantee the L’Manbergians will be able to capture Techno in the first place. I just want my plans in place in case they do.”
Punz looks at him. “You really need Techno alive don’t you?”
“It’s because of my deep love for him. How would I survive if he was gone?” The words are uttered sarcastically and Punz knows it’s a sign he needs to back off. He knows what he needs to know and he’ll learn nothing more from Dream.
“When’s this likely to happen?”
“Soon, I think. It’s been boiling for a while, but Q is meeting the others later today. Today, tomorrow? I’ll send a whisper once I hear - if I need you, we’ll meet on Philza’s house as our default. The execution site seems to be in front of there. If i need you anywhere else, I’ll let you know.”
He stretches upwards rising to his feet as he does so.
“Make sure you’re prepared; these might help.”
He drops a bunch of pearls at Punz’s feet and by the time Punz looks up again he’s gone, draft blowing in from the window the only sign which way he might have gone.
Punz sighs, getting to his feet. It seems like his day is going to start with getting his gear ready.
--0--0--
This time it’s actually noon when the whisper comes from Dream.
They’ve captured Technoblade and are bringing him to L’Manberg now. He’s disarmed and unarmored
Punz glances around; his packs are to hand, ready to go, but he pulls the glowing armor on, settling his pendant underneath them. He takes a moment to run through his preparations for one final time; axe, sword, shield, crossbow and arrows, pearls and potions. Water bucket. Flint and steel. Trident. Blocks. He’s good to go.
He just needs to get in the game now. Whatever he’s going to be doing today is going to be hard and difficult. He could have to take another’s life or risk his own. He could be injured or hurt, maimed. He needs to be willing to accept all of that now so the fear of it won’t distract him in battle when he needs to act. It’s better to kill than be killed, to hurt rather than be hurt. He needs to do those things to others so they can’t do it to him.
He feels the familiar thoughts settle him, cloaking him with calmness and focus. His doubts and uncertainties are put away for another time. Now he’s in the moment and that’s all he needs to worry about.
He climbs the hillside behind Philza’s house so he can pearl onto it safely. There’s no sign of anyone that he can see or hear. In front of the house is an ominous structure above a small four-sided cage. There’s an anvil hanging over it and Punz stares at it for a moment, before remembering Dream had said the execution site was in front of Philza’s house. That structure must be the execution site.
The soft plop of a pearl landing nearby has him instantly on alert, raising his axe and shield in readiness. But it’s Dream who appears, armor glow muted and soft and then brightening as the pearl mist dissipates. Punz doesn’t release his grasp on his weapons, waiting to see what happens.
“They’re close now. Three of them still have full netherite and someone has Techno’s as well, but Fundy must have died as he doesn’t have armor. They used Techno’s horse against him so we need to make sure that gets away too,” Dream speaks quickly but clearly, tone analytical.
“What’s the plan then?”
Dream looks down at the platform below, clearly thinking. “On my word, you pearl in and attack them; I’ll go after Techno’s horse and get it clear. If Techno’s any good he’ll be able to get away with all that going on around him.”
“And if Techno isn’t that good?” Punz is dubious, it’s relying a lot on Techno being able to extemporise with no warning and in his experience, that usually doesn’t turn out well.
“Well Technoblade never dies does he? He’ll be fine. If you get the chance, set him free if he doesn’t seem able to do it himself. These will help.”
This time it’s TNT which Dream drops at Punz’s feet.
“Oh, they will.” Punz grins gleefully, thinking of the mayhem he can cause just by himself. He packs the TNT blocks into his belt, putting them close to hand. He takes a moment to check through his weapons once more, making sure they are exactly where he expects and needs them to be, catches Dream out of the corner of his eye doing the same.
Punz sets a strength and swiftness potion on the ground next to where he’s crouched, ready for action. His golden apples are on hand but it’s too soon to start eating.
“The waiting is the worst,” he mutters. “If you get close, I can hit you with these pots too?”
Dream glances at them on the ground and then nods once, before returning his lookout to the east, keeping the ridgeline between him and the direction he’s obviously expecting the party they are waiting for to come from.
The sound of a pearl landing causes both of them to tense and crouch lower. It drops to the side of the house and then the door to Philza’s house opens and closes below them and they can hear someone - presumably Philza - moving through the house. Punz glances over to Dream, eyebrow raised. Dream shrugs. Something’s happened, but they’re not sure what or how it will affect them.
“I guess if Philza was with L’Manberg here, he would be with everyone else,” Dream’s voice is quiet and hushed. “If he’s here by himself, he’s not standing with them.”
Punz nods; it makes sense. It probably means they won’t have Philza working against them but probably is not good enough and Punz mentally adjusts to having to hold off five, not four. He doesn’t want to have to mess with Philza either; he's not the fighter Technoblade is, but the man is entirely too competent at everything he does.
They settle back to their vigil but they don’t have long to wait. The setting sun is bathing the rooftop in amber when they hear the sound of raised voices; it’s clear from the tones this is not a content group. “Bickering” is how Punz would describe it if it weren’t a matter of life and death going on before him.
As the group comes into view, Punz can see Q is out in front, riding a chestnut horse, with an unarmored Techno following him. Tubbo is in full netherite but neither Ranboo nor Fundy are wearing armor. They make their way en masse towards the cage on the platform.
“You actually got him then.” The tone is bitter and sad and comes from the house below them. It sounds like Philza.
There’s a babble of voices from the group but there’s one anguished call they hear over the other hubbub.
“Phil! What did they do to you? What did they do to you, Phil?” Techno breaks free, running towards their place of refuge and Punz crouches lower now everyone is looking in their direction.
“They put these ankle monitors on me and I’m under house arrest - I can’t leave my house!” Philza answers angrily. “I couldn’t help you!”
Punz’s eyebrow raises at that because that’s not what Philza was doing five minutes earlier when he was returning to his home. But he obviously doesn’t want someone knowing that and Punz is pretty sure it’s not Technoblade.
“Leave Phil alone! You’ve got me, you don’t need to touch him!” Technoblade is being rounded back up, dragged back to stand next to his wanted poster, but his outrage and anger on Philza’s behalf are still clear. Any attempts at escape on his behalf are thwarted with threats to his horse; Punz thinks it would be even more effective if they threatened Philza but he suspects Tubbo wouldn’t go that far.
Technoblade is forced into the cage, complaining about the justice he is receiving.
“This is not actually a trial, Technoblade,” answers Quackity. “When we press that lever down there, it’s going to drop that anvil up there and it’s going to fucking kill you. This is not a trial, we are going to kill you.”
“It’s an execution,” confirms Tubbo, who starts a speech listing Technoblades many apparent crimes against L’Manberg. Punz wants to bang his forehead on the roof below it in frustration because why? Why does everything in L’Manberg have to have a speech?
Dream hisses softly beside him.
“Potion up, time to go.” It’s a breath of a whisper, so low that Punz isn’t sure he’s heard it himself. Such a command should be louder, more authoritative maybe to capture the drama of the moment but for those who live in the shadows, this seems more fitting. He splashes the potions over them both, swallows the apple and throws the pearl down into the crowd, with trident, axe and harm potions raised and ready to go.
“Wait, Punz is throwing a fucking pearl..” is all he hears as he lands on the platform, jarringly, but he’s tossing the splash harm potion at the three butchers near him and grabbing the trident into his off hand.
The L’Manbergers, confident and bullying two minutes earlier are crying out in confusion as he follows up the potions with his axe, swinging it towards Fundy, catching him cleanly on the upper arm before Fundy runs back out of reach. Punz spins around looking for his next target, movements precise and clean, minimum effort, maximum effect.
“What is Punz doing?” cries Tubbo from the platform as Punz dives after Quackity, launching his crossbow at Ranboo before switching back to axe in his main hand and trying to connect with Quackity’s legs, driving them both back as they try to get away from him. As he runs back across the stage, he’s planting TNT as he goes, feeling the fierce joy of battle filling his veins now he has the upper hand and his targets are disorganised and confused. They’re still shouting about what he is doing, when it seems to him obvious what he’s doing. He’s attacking them.
They finally rally in response to that, going in to break the TNT, but that leaves them vulnerable to his attacks again, and he goes after Tubbo, getting two good hits, but with the TNT removed his opponents are now reorganising quickly, and suddenly he’s facing Tubbo, Quackity and an armored up Ranboo. He exchanges some blows, feeling their axes cutting into his armor, and even though it holds for now, he knows he can’t stand against all three of them at once so he forces a way through, feinting a blow and then dashing through the space created, planting more TNT as he goes and using it to propel him across the stage towards the edge of it.
Once again, they have to break to deal with the imminent threat of the TNT and Punz dives off the platform into the water beneath, quickly tridenting through the water below the stage to jump up behind them. As he tries to get to Technoblade’s cage he hears Tubbo shouting at Quackity to pull the lever and as he looks over, he’s too far from Quackity to stop him and his blood runs cold as the clanking of the structure revels the anvil is being released.
For a moment all fighting stops, all eyes are drawn to watch the path of the falling anvil as it gains speed downwards in the darkness.
He sees Philza desperately trying to shoot the anvil out of its deadly path - and miss - and that’s it, the last hope is gone and Technoblade’s fate is sealed and Punz has failed when suddenly there’s an explosion of green and yellow sparks from the cage and Technoblade is springing out of the cage as though an anvil hadn’t just totally broken him.
Punz gasps in disbelief, trying to process what has just happened even as his hands find the rhythm with his axe.
His mind is racing though as he realises Technoblade really never dies. Especially if he has a Totem of Undying in his possession. Punz wishes Dream could have told him that fact earlier, but he can worry about that later, now he has to slow Technoblade’s pursuers so Technoblade can get away cleanly. Punz swings around hard, hefting his axe once more and diving straight back into the knot of L’Manbergers standing confused on the platform, slashing and hitting at any body parts which present themselves to him.
This time however, he’s not so lucky as someone’s return axe blow catches below his chestplate and he twists away with a grunt as pain blossoms along his side, bringing up his trident too late to block that side and protect it from more damage as he tries to disengage. Technoblade is well away; Quackity is gone too and and there’s nothing more he can do here so he pulls out a pearl tossing it away to get him out of the battle and to safety as the pain starts to come in waves now, leaving him vulnerable to more attacks.
His throw isn’t good; he lands too hard and too unexpectedly against a wooden surface and the shock of impact leaves him staggering and trying not to throw up as pain radiates out from his side, dizzying and insistent. He falls to his knees, trying to get up, willing himself up, he needs to get away but he’s losing his grip on consciousness and his vision is blackening and he can’t move and it’s bad.
--0--0--
There’s noise and he’s battling to consciousness but it’s hard and he can’t find his knife and he’s in danger and he needs to move but he isn’t because his body won’t respond and he’s in danger and he needs to get away.
“None of that” says a voice nearby. “You’re safe. Lie still. You need to heal.”
He wants to move but he can’t so he has to trust the voice and slide back into the welcoming blackness.
--0--0--
The second time he wakes both more slowly and more immediately. He doesn’t have the sense of panic he had last time but he’s lying in a bed that isn’t his, his knife isn’t to hand and he doesn’t know where he is and his armor - or someone’s armor - is lying discarded in the corner and he’s naked and vulnerable. But his side is bandaged and surely if he was in danger that wouldn’t have happened… why bother?
Looking around further there’s a shadowed figure in a chair and for just a moment he flashes back to his conversation with Dream and he actually feels relief - but it isn’t Dream, the person’s face is shadowed and there’s no sign of the glow of the mask.
He needs to leave. Maybe if he can go quietly enough, he can grab his stuff and get out before the other occupant wakes up.
He slides across the bed as quietly as he can, rolling down onto the ground but as his legs take his weight the pain sparks and radiates again leaving him gasping and dizzied.
The other occupant jumps to his feet with a curse.
“No! Get back in that fucking bed now. Fuck, you are the most fucking unco-operative person I’ve ever come across.”
Punz would answer him but he’s still watching stars burst across his vision and trying to get oxygen into his lungs. But through the stars he sees the unmistakable features of someone he recognises.
“Philza Minecraft!”
“Yes. Now do as you’re fucking told and get back in that fucking bed.”
For all the exasperation in Philza’s tone, the hands holding him are gentle but offer him no choice but to lie down again, even if the pain did allow for anything else.
“Where am I? What am I doing here?” Punz needs to know what’s going on.
“You’re in my house in L’Manberg. And I found you bleeding out in my attic, and I couldn’t leave you there. So I’m trying to heal you and you’ve been fighting me at every stage. Here, drink this.”
A mug is thrust into Punz’s hand and he sniffs it cautiously; it smells like a health potion, redolent with the fragrances of summer. He’s been so vulnerable with Philza that he doesn’t see any point in being concerned now so he tastes it and then when it tastes as he expects, he swallows it as he’s told.
“I think that’s the first time you’ve actually co-operated with me since I found you,” says Philza, taking the mug from him and putting it down.
“Sorry,” mutters Punz. “But it’s probably the first time I’ve known what I was doing since you found me. But you didn’t need to take me in, I’d have been ok, I just needed some rest.”
Philza barks a laugh. “Some rest. Really? Your side was stove in, and you were lying in a pool of your own blood, going into shock. You were unconscious for the first 8 hours. I’m kind of surprised you made it as far as you did, but if your pearl hadn’t landed in my attic, I’m guessing you’d have died out there.”
“Sorry,” Punz mutters again. He feels cast adrift, being reliant on someone he doesn’t know when he doesn’t know what that person wants for the help he’s been given.
“Don’t be sorry, just go back to sleep. You’re still needing all the rest you can get. Next time you wake, we’ll try you with some real food.”
Punz doesn’t need telling again, sleep is tugging him down.
0--0--0
The third time he wakens, there’s the momentary jolt of not knowing where he is but he remembers and relaxes - as much as he’s able - in the bed. He can hear Philza moving around downstairs, but no-one else.
Looking around there’s a mug by the bed and the thirst is clawing at his throat so he reaches for it to find a very dilute healing potion. He takes a long pull, and then another, coughing as the liquid hits his dry throat.
“Good, you’re awake,” Philza calls from downstairs. “One sec, I’ll be right up.”
“Don’t rush on my account.”
To his own ears his voice sounds husky from disuse and he feels weak as a kitten. He’s still confused why he’s here, but he is and as an option it seems to beat the likely alternative.
Philza arrives shortly after, coming over to touch his face with a dry, cool hand.
“Good, you’re not fevered. I wasn’t sure if we’d get you by without an infection, the wound wasn’t great. How are you feeling?”
Punz takes a moment to consider. “Less sore, but still like someone stuck an axe in my side. Tired, weak. If I move too fast the room spins. But better than when I last woke up.”
Philza nods. “Sounds like you’re on the mend then. It was pretty hard to get the healing potions into you at first, you’d have thought I was trying to poison you, but sounds like they’ve kicked in now.”
“How many have I had?”
“That’s the fourth; the first one I had to splash on the wound because you just wouldn’t swallow it and you know they aren’t as effective that way.”
“Sorry; I have some in my pack I can give you back in return.” Punz glances towards his pack which is where he remembered it being, seemingly untouched.
“No problem, I don’t have much to do now the President has confined me to my house, so no worries on that. I’ve already replenished them.”
Punz shakes his head a little; he’s not used to help with no strings or conditions attached. He just hopes when the time comes due he can afford the payment. “But why are you helping me? Given what I just did, I’m not going to be welcome in L’Manberg for a while.”
To his surprise, Philza laughs.
“I’m sitting here under house arrest, having watched my best friend nearly executed by the government of L’Manberg; you think I’m worried about if you’re welcome here by that same government? And without your intervention, my best friend would likely have been re-captured or killed. So of course I’m going to help you with the injuries you got helping him. Now, I think you’re going to be hungry, let me get you something.”
He bustles off before Punz can say a word heading out the room and downstairs to where Punz can hear the sound of chests being opened. Punz settles back against the pillows. He can feel the healing potion kicking in and fuzzing the edges of the pain, but he’s still bone tired and he knows that’s partly his own healing and partly the healing potions as they increase the speed of his recovery.
It doesn’t take long for Philza to come back; he’s carrying steak and bread.
“You need something that isn’t magic or magic adjacent,” he says, handing it over. “Eat this.”
“Thanks,” replies Punz. “Do you know if Technoblade got away?”
Philza smiles. “Yes, he did. Killed Quackity with a pickaxe in the sewers and escaped back to his base in the north. Apparently he had a benefactor who left him what he would need to get away in some room in the tunnels. You know anything about that?”
Punz shrugs as he munches. It's not really something he can answer, no matter how much help Philza has given him.
“Hmm, I thought so,” says Philza but he sounds satisfied and leaves the topic alone after that.
“Once you’ve finished that, I’ll take another look at the wound and see how it’s doing. If it’s doing ok, you might be able to head home tomorrow.”
Punz starts to protest; he’s pretty sure he can leave before that.
Philza talks across him firmly. “Do you have anyone who can stay with you or help you out until you can do things for yourself?”
Punz thinks for a minute. He can’t imagine himself showing himself as vulnerable to Sapnap particularly when they parted on bad terms; he doesn’t feel close enough to any of the Badland inhabitants anymore to ask them for help and he feels a pang of regret for realising that about Antfrost and Sam. Dream is obviously out and he’d laugh if it wouldn’t hurt at the thought of Dream playing nursemaid. He shakes his head mutely.
“If the answer’s no, then you’re not leaving here until tomorrow at the earliest. I’m not letting you throw away the work I’ve done because you don’t want to let someone you don’t know help you.” Philza’s tone doesn’t brook any argument. “I’ll take your armor and hide it if you don’t agree.”
“Ok, tomorrow then,” Punz agrees reluctantly. “I just don’t see why you are so willing to help someone like me. Sure, I helped Technoblade but I’m not doing that for kindness, I’m doing it because someone paid me to do it.”
Philza settles into the seat on the other side of the room.
“But you did help him for whatever reason. My friend is alive because of you. It doesn’t matter why you did it. My friend is alive because of you, and I couldn’t leave you to die when you’d been injured and could have died helping him. Walk away from someone who had done that in those circumstances? No. Just no. I need to be able to look at myself. I have so few people I can call friends but they are the most valuable thing to me in the world and I will do anything for them, and that includes helping those who help them. What have I given up to help you? Nothing except my bed for a couple of nights and a bit of my time when I’m stuck in my house anyway.”
“But if anyone else finds out I’m here… wait does anyone know I’m here?” Punz can feel the anxiety rising in again, he hadn’t even thought about being discovered.
“No-one knows. Tubbo and Ranboo have been the only ones who have been in my house in the last two days and neither of them come up here. And if they find out.. Well, if you’re still here you’ll have to make a run for it and I’ll make the best of it or run with you. If you’re gone, I’ll just deny it all. So far, I’ve been given a lot more slack than I probably deserve, but I did a lot to rebuild L’Manberg.” Philza sounds confident and as though he’s thought this through. He probably has in the time he’s had since Punz arrived unceremoniously in his attic.
They sit in silence for a few minutes as Punz finishes the food Philza brought. He can almost feel it strengthening him.
After that, Philza encourages him to try getting up and moving around the room. He’s stiff and slow at first and wary of his side, but he’s also able to get his first look at the wound and he’s been lucky; the stroke had deflected off his rib and had driven deep but at an angle. He’s going to have to watch how it heals over the coming weeks to avoid scarring and not let it affect his fighting but he’s healed from wounds before and he thinks so long as he puts the work in, he can recover fully. He can’t stay on his feet for long, but it’s a start.
By the end of the day he’s almost comfortable in Philza’s company. Philza laughs easily and laughs often and Punz can’t remember the last time he spent time with someone who finds so much joy in life. He could think of worse people to be trapped in a house with as he recovers from an injury.
It’s as they’re sitting in Philza’s bedroom that evening that Philza starts to look more serious.
“I’m going to say something and I don’t think you’re going to like it, but I can’t not say it either.”
Just like that Punz can feel the good feeling he’s built over the day evaporating. Of course it was too good to be true that Philza was doing this because it was the right thing to do. There’s always a catch. Always. He hunkers his shoulders, waiting for whatever is about to happen to happen. It’s not like he can stop it after all.
“You know Punz, everything I’ve seen and heard about you, and learned from you in the past couple of days, you remind me of a young man I knew when I was younger. A good man. A decent man at heart. But determined that he was self-sufficient and could do everything alone. Didn’t need to worry about other people, they had nothing for him. He’d lost faith in the world around him you see, didn’t think he needed anything from it, he’d been abandoned and hurt too often to let it continue to do that. Thought he could use riches to prove to himself how important he was.”
Punz shifts uncomfortably. This is too close to the bone now, and he really doesn’t want to hear any more because he’s talking about things that Punz really doesn’t want to think about too closely or have Philza associating with Punz.
“Oh I know now why you’ve helped me, it’s so you get a captive audience to tell tales to?” Punz says gruffly. He feels bad saying it after Philza has helped him so much, but he hopes it will stop Philza talking.
Philza smiles knowingly but doesn’t let the interruption phase or distract him.
“So what happened to him I hear you ask? How did it turn out?” Philza says it to the air.
“I really didn’t ask that. I don’t care what happened to him. I just want to heal and get out of here,” Punz mutters. He suspects it won’t make any difference.
He’s right.
“As he grew, he realised he couldn’t do everything alone. That even if he did, his life was empty and lonely. That he had no-one to share joy with, to share achievement with, so that made those hollow. That not being able to ask others for help for no reason other than friendship left him vulnerable in ways he hadn’t thought about.”
“He sounds stupid.”
“Yeah, probably a bit, but all young men are. They just don’t realise it. But also he’d been hurt and betrayed by people he trusted once too often and he thought it was a good reaction. It took some of the worst times of his life to realise that it wasn’t. And I’m saying this to you - even if you don’t want me to - because you remind me of that young man. I don’t know how much you are like him. You might be nowhere near so far inside your own head as he was. But if I can stop you suffering as he did, then I will say this to you, and hope you take something from it.”
Philza’s face is sad and pained as he says this and he looks old and like he’s carrying so much weight and that, that more than anything impresses Punz. That Philza would show his pain and his vulnerability when he didn’t need to, to try and teach Punz something. But… Punz isn’t sure what he’s meant to learn.
“So say I was like this young man you knew. I’m not saying I am, but say I was. What would you advise me to do so it doesn’t turn out like it did for him?”
Philza looks at him and his eyes are intense now. “Learn to recognise and value friendship. Yes, it leaves you vulnerable to pain and hurt and betrayal. But true friendship is worth any price. It’s beyond price. When all else fails, you’re left with friendship. And it took this young man way too long to recognise that, almost until it was too late. Now, he’d do anything for his friends because he knows they are the most precious thing he has, because he has so few of them left.”
Punz swallows, caught in the pain and emotion in Philza’s voice. “Ok,” he manages. “I’ll think on it. I don’t… I’ll think about it.”
“And that’s all I can ask you to do,” and the pain slides off Philza’s face like a door shutting. “One more thing - know you can ask me for help so long as it doesn’t compromise Technoblade and I’ll do my best to help you.”
“Thank you, but I owe you the debt here,” Punz says. “I can’t promise what the future holds, but I won’t forget what you’ve done for me and I’ll try to act accordingly. And if you need help from me…. Send word and I’ll try to come. We’re on different sides in all of this even if we are momentarily aligned, but I owe you and I won’t, I can’t forget.”
There’s regret as he says it, but he doesn’t know what he’d do if asked to choose between Dream and Phil. He doesn’t want to have to choose but life isn’t that simple.
Phil nods in acknowledgement to what he’s said. “Thank you, I understand. But look at us, we’ll be braiding flowers in each others’ hair soon,” but his smile is gentle.
“Only forget-me-nots to match your eyes of course,” Punz replies, finding his way back onto firmer footing.
“Roses to match your bloodshot ones for you. Talking of which, we’ll redress that wound and then you should probably get to bed for a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be hard.”
Just like that the conversation is moved from the emotional to the mundane.
“Well if it means you stop talking….”
--0--0--
Punz doesn’t awaken full of vigour and bouncing with good health, but he is feeling better than he was the day before, so he’ll take it. Phil checks him over carefully but even he can’t seem to find a reason for Punz to stay another day.
After breakfast, he helps Punz put his armor back on and watches as Punz goes through his packs. Punz pulls out his healing pots, setting them on the table.
“I’m leaving these with you for the next stray who finds themselves on your doorstep and I’m not taking no for an answer.” Punz is really not messing on this and Phil seems to realise it.
“I did tell you I’ve already replaced them,” he says as he picks them up to store them in a chest.
“You’re friends with Technoblade, better safe than sorry.”
Phil rolls his eyes at that. “I’m not the mercenary around here.”
Punz shrugs. “I’ve got more at my base.”
“You’ll be ok getting home?”
“I’ll cut south then west and go across country from there. I’m not going to risk going straight through L’Manberg and that way, no-one will see me leaving here either if I pearl away. But you’re the only one who knows I’m injured so no-one will want to mess with me.”
Phil nods. “Don’t take risks.”
Punz laughs. “Me? A mercenary? Taking risks? Only if the price is right.”
“And I meant what I said. Whisper if I can help.” Phil studies him, obviously waiting for an objection, but Punz, he’s going to take that. Baby steps in asking for and accepting help.
“I meant it too. Thank you for everything, things would have been very different if you hadn’t helped.”
He takes aim out of the window with his pearl, dropping it on the hillside behind Phil’s house, close to where he had launched the pearl which got him onto the rooftop several days back now. The landing is ok but he still feels it through his wound and grunts with the impact, before turning quickly to wave a quick salute and then starting off in the direction of his own base.
--0--0--
His own base is a welcome sight and appears to be intact, undamaged and unpilfered. He breathes a sigh of relief. It’s never normally good to leave a base alone for so long in this world.
He drops his packs onto his floor, kicks them to one side for now to sort out later and just revels in the relative safety of being on his own ground.
He isn’t there long when he gets a whisper from Sam.
Hey stranger, long time no see! Everything ok?
He’s just about to brush it off, but Phil’s words from the night before come back and he hesitates. Sam is one of the people he’s known the longest; they’ve worked together and fought together and Sam’s never given him cause for distrust.
Maybe… maybe it’s time to try?
It’s been better. Got a bit beat up in a fight but doing better now