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Marya did not know when the storm had come but it felt as if it had lasted since forever. She had tried to pray to comfort herself but her words had gone unheard, drowned out by the sound of rain drumming against the earth and the rumble that followed the flashing lights. Ignoring the horrors only made her heart pound harder against her ribcage and it was as if she had forgotten how to breathe. Whenever she tried to squeeze her eyes shut in hopes to succumb to slumber, she would jolt awake to release the breaths she held. It repeated itself five times and on the sixth, she decided to give up on sleep entirely and wait until the storm passed. But when would it go?
Thunder roared outside the window and fierce bolts of lightning clawed at the sky, threatening to break through the glass that was separating the woman and the storm. The longer she stayed awake, the worse she saw of nature’s force. The silhouettes of trees swayed violently in the distance and she swore she saw a rather massive branch being ripped off of its body. Despite how far it was, a crack and a heavy thud echoed throughout the room, and it made her feel faint. If the wind and rain could bring upon such wrath to nature’s own creation, she could not imagine what it could do to a mere being like her.
Church had taught her to fear nothing but God, and dear heaven above was she frightened of what He was wreaking onto Moscow. Her one source of comfort now became her greatest fear. The darkness that expanded and contracted every time the light pulsed made her feel so small. It was suffocating her. Fear squeezed all the air out of her lungs and helplessness made her cower away like a coward.
She would be made a laughing stock if word got out that the Terrible Dragon of Moscow was frightened of thunderstorms. People would perceive her as a child who was afraid of the dark and the monsters in children’s tales. She could not decide which was worse at the moment. Her honor or the demon of her childhood that assaulted her every now and then.
The elevation of the bed made her feel too exposed so with what little strength she had, she crawled out of bed and into the space between her bed and the walls. It was the only spot of the room where the light did not touch and she found comfort in the darkness that engulfed her in its cold embrace. What she had not considered, however, was how deafening the thunder would be in the corner and as another round took its turn, she did not notice the loud sob that tore through her throat. She wept pathetically and buried her face in her knees that she had brought up to her chest. Nails dug into her the flesh of her arm when she would see the lightning flicker through closed eyelids and more tears began to soak her nightgown until they seeped through to her skin.
Absorbed in her bubble of distress, it had slipped from the woman’s mind that someone else was in the room with her. She had been so accustomed to being alone during these nights and the thought of having someone with her during this moment of weakness felt all too foreign. The darkness that blanketed the room did make the room emptier that it seemed but that was until a figure in bed rose upon hearing the heart-wrenching sob. Such a piercing cry alarmed her and through widened eyes, Hélène searched the room. The Kuragina noticed many things at once. The empty side of the bed, the raving thunderstorm she was apparently sleeping through and poor Marya trembling on the floor in a ball.
Hélène tugged her borrowed nightgown out of the sheets to maneuver herself over to the bedside where Marya was and she knelt down in front of her. Reaching out to hold her seemed unwise so she resorted to sitting opposite Marya. She had heard of Marya’s panic attacks; the woman had told Hélène herself. But she never thought she would be there to witness one in person. This broke Hélène. Seeing Marya like this made her yearn to help her but she had never done that before. It was always the other way round.
Meekly, Hélène tried to call out to her. “Marya? Masha, dear? Can you hear me?” With Marya’s lack of response, Hélène knew she had completely dissociated herself from the world around her and it was then she reached out to grasp her arms. “Masha, it’s me. I need you to look at me, please?”
The touch made Marya jolt and she lifted her head to look up at Hélène through fallen strands of hair down her face. Her eyes were large, filled with madness and hysteria but they softened with relief when she took in Hélène’s face. Oh, that beautiful face. “Hélène? L-Lena… I”-
“Shh… It’s going to be alright, ma belle. Let’s get you up on the bed, alright? I can’t have you sit on the floor all night so can you do that?” Hélène murmured softly as she held her hands out to Marya.
Swallowing a sob, Marya nodded and took Hélène’s hands firmly. Just as she was about to stand, nature decided to pull a cruel trick. After an angry streak of lightning stretched through the void of a sky, it was followed by a horrible resonating drum of thunder. Terrified out of her wits, Marya threw herself at Hélène with enough force to send the both of them tumbling onto the bed. Her arms wound up around her neck and legs clung onto her waist in the most secured position. She worried that Hélène might be taken away from her and she would be left alone again to suffer.
She would have pitied Hélène who was literally crushed underneath her taller frame but the woman reciprocated the hug immediately without complain. Hélène made sure she had a good hold on Marya before moving them further up the bed so that their legs did not dangle uncomfortably. For that, Marya was grateful that she did not have to release her from the tight hold.
“I’ve got you…” Hélène whispered. Those three words were enough.
Hélène sat them both up carefully and she leaned against the headboards while Marya sat on her lap. She combed a hand through her red hair that was slightly wet with tears and her free arm was looped around Marya’s waist. She was quiet while Marya sobbed silently into Hélène’s shoulder. She let her cry it all out until she calmed down but with the storm still present, calmness was not anywhere nearby. The rain taunted her like laughter and she felt extremely ashamed. The tears stopped but her heart did not stop thrumming and leaping painfully. With some courage, Marya lifted her head to look up at Hélène who offered her a small comforting smile.
“Thank you…”
“Anything for you, Masha.” Hélène held the back of Marya’s head and lowered it to press a kiss to her forehead.
For the first time tonight, Marya managed to smile but it vanished. “I-I’m sorry you had to see that. I just- I didn’t”-
“Now, now, love, why are you apologizing? This isn’t your fault and it’s okay to be weak sometimes. It’s what makes us all human,” Hélène told her.
“But thunderstorms”-
Hélène cupped Marya’s cheeks and with her thumbs, she wiped her tears away. “No phobia is childish, if that’s what you’re thinking. If it makes you feel better, I have a deathly fear of empty, isolated rooms.”
“Oh…? I never knew that.”
“It’s because I’ve never mentioned it. It’s not our obligation to tell others our fears if it makes you feel inferior.”
Marya nodded slowly. “You’re right. You’re very, very right about that.”
“I’m glad we can agree on that.”
Hélène beckoned Marya to get off her lap who did very hesitantly. Where was she going? She was not leaving, was she? Not after a few warm words and a hug. And in the middle of the night during a storm, that was incredibly stupid. And it was even more stupid of Marya to think of something like that. Hélène could see the paranoia in Marya’s fallen expression and she patted her knee gently.
“Where are you going?” Marya squeaked out.
“I’m still here, ma chere. I’m not going anywhere,” she assured her. “I’m just going to get something.”
“Oh. Okay…”
Hélène slid over to the side of the bed where the nightstand was and from the drawer, she retrieved a candlestick that was attached to a stand and a box of matches. She had found them before going to sleep when she had to find a place to keep her pearls before going to sleep and it was a perfectly good time to put them to use. Settling the candlestick on top of the nightstand, she sparked a match and lit the candle which had light enough to illuminate their side of the room, mostly Hélène’s side of the bed where Marya had moved over to, to join Hélène. The flickering lights would not bother her there.
Once the box of matches were kept aside, Hélène stretched her arms out to welcome Marya back into a cuddle. Marya, without a moment’s hesitation, moved into Hélène’s arms and they laid down. Instead of two pillows, they shared Hélène’s and there was more than enough blanket to shield them from the cold since they were all nicely huddled up. Hélène reached in to kiss Marya who was more than happy to return it and when they pulled away, they rested their foreheads against one another’s.
“Comfortable?” Hélène asked.
“Extremely,” Marya sighed.
“Good…”
If Marya was going to spend the rest of the night in Hélène’s arms, she could fall asleep with the assurance that she had someone to repel her demons and defend her from any other beast that lurked. Hélène had just done it and now she was grounded in a new circle of safety which she never wanted to leave. It would only the night as Hélène would have to leave the following day at the crack of dawn to return home uncaught. What concerned her most was the forecast of tomorrow’s weather. With one thunderstorm that materialized out of nowhere in the month, there were bound to be more building up in days to come. It was a recurring pattern she had studied over her years of living and she knew the dates all too well. Predictable, she would have scoffed had she been just a little less scared.
Now that it became known to her that there might be more thunderstorms awaiting to bring her misery, she fretted over Hélène’s departure. Unlike the weather, Hélène’s visitations were infrequent so there was no guarantee that she would be there for her again.
“Do you…Do you think it’s possible if I could steal you away from your home during the other stormy nights?” Marya tried.
“We’ll see… But, I’ll do my best to be here for you,” Hélène answered, and it brought Marya much delight to hear a positive response. “You’ll write?”
“If our mail is efficient enough, then yes. Otherwise, expect me at your door,” Marya half jested.
Hélène threw her head back in laughter. “I’d love nothing more than to see you.”
“Then I’ll be there.”
“As will I if a storm should ever disturb you again.”
Nothing had touched Marya more than Hélène’s willingness to be there for her at her worst moments. Many have called Hélène selfish and a liar for fleeing situations that would bring her no benefit but harm and humiliation. For Marya, it was an entirely different case. At the mention of her name, Hélène would already be eager to put everything aside to provide every ounce of attention. Hélène was not a woman trained in expressing herself with words so to prove her love for Marya, she showed it instead. Marya understood the message she was trying to get across and she truly loved Hélène too. Though, her ways of showing it were through gifts and snarky comments that made the brunette laugh her head off.
Unable to hold it in, Marya pulled Hélène in for a long passionate kiss and Hélène felt as though she had transcended. With how stubborn they had been to pull away, they were left gasping against each other’s lips and they could hear their hearts beating in such close proximity. Hélène’s hands found their way to Marya’s cheeks, though one lingered just above her ear, and she nuzzled against the woman with pure fondness. Marya still held onto Hélène’s waist, hands grasping onto the oversized nightgown so that she could hold her closer.
They were already getting sleepy, especially Marya who had spent more than half the night misspending her energy. Her eyelids were drooping and her arms had slackened around Hélène’s waist. Hélène, on the other hand, was just a little less tired as compared to Marya. She could still comprehend the storm that had finally simmered into a delicate shower but Marya was in the state of drowsiness that muffled anything that was out of her focus. Since Hélène was the only thing in her focus, she still had the energy to articulate some words that held more meaning than everything else she had said when she was awake.
“I love you, Lena. I truly love you with all of my heart.”
Hélène perked up when she heard what she had said and her heart palpitations were reduced to fluttering. “I’m sorry, say that again~?”
Marya rolled her eyes. “I will say it a million times if I have to. I love you, Elena.”
“Aw… I love you too, Masha. So much.”
“You do…?”
“I really, really do. I swear on my life, my love belongs to you and you only.”
“Oh, you humor me,” Marya snorted but she was smiling even brighter.
“Get some sleep, will you?”
“I will… See you tomorrow.”
Hélène laughed softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow too, ma chere.”
Instantly, Marya was out cold and Hélène planted a kiss upon her forehead. Sleep had never been more wonderful and she did not have the stamina to even worry about anything else that had attempted to creep up on her. She would leave it all for tomorrow if she remembered. Hélène stayed up to watch over Marya who was now curled up against her side. She only slept once she was certain that Marya was in deep sleep, but sleep did catch up to her when she saw how peaceful slumber had taken Marya. She saw the remainder of joy in the way her eyes crinkled from the smile she gave her before falling asleep and it made Hélène realize it was what Marya often saw whenever she watched over her sleep. There was never a day Hélène would go to sleep with a frown or a scowl and to receive one last piece of happiness before the day ended, it was certainly the best note to end on.
~*~*~
The morning came quick and Marya woke up much later than usual. A quarter past eleven. Upon awakening, there was warmth not from the sun but from the woman who held her in her arms. Hélène had stayed after all.
‘See you tomorrow.’
‘I’ll see you tomorrow too, ma chere.’
Hélène really was not selfish neither was she a liar... If this was God’s blessing, she would forgive him for the nightmares of last night for this dream she had woken up to.