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It had all started the day she received a book that only contained the word “help” scribbled on its pages. Signed by Tommy, she wasn’t sure if this was some sick, twisted joke or if miraculously the boy was still here, still alive and breathing.
She hoped it was the latter. She prayed it was the latter.
So Puffy left a book in Tommy’s home, an invitation for him to come talk, an invitation to a safe space for him.
Then one day, sat quietly in her office, she heard a soft knocking on the door. Cheerfully she called for whoever it was to come in, which said person did. And that is when she saw it. No, not it, that is when she saw him.
Blond hair matted, sunken eyes didn’t even show a glimmer of blue. Instead, they were a muddy grey. Plasters and bandages littered all over his body but they still didn’t hide the sea of purple bruises that had spread across his skin.
But despite how beaten and broken he looked; it was Tommy. Tommy was stood in front of her office desk. He was alive. He was here.
“Tommy,” she started but didn’t know how to continue. In all fairness, she had thought it was a messed-up prank, surely people couldn’t come back to life. But then again, didn’t Jack do that? she was sure she heard someone mention that the guy should be dead yet he’s walking around the server right now, healthy and heart beating.
She never realised what she was getting herself into when she joined the Dream SMP. It’s too late to back out now though. Anyway she couldn’t leave, people needed her.
Was she qualified to be a therapist? No. Did this stop her from building a therapy office for everyone to come to in order to get help? Also no.
Look, if no one was going to be the one to step up to the position, she might as well do it herself.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” She motioned to the seat opposite her, it was a good place to start. Quietly Tommy did what she said, slipping into the wooden chair, eyes darting around the room seemingly avoiding any sort of eye contact.
“So,” Puffy may not be qualified for this but she was aware that she needed to be careful with what she was going to say, “you got the note I left for you?”
“Yeah,” Tommy’s voice was small, not like the voice she had previously heard exclaiming about victory before leaving to fight Dream for the last time.
“Is there anything you wanted to talk about in particular, I got your letter but it didn’t give me that much information. We can talk about whatever you like.”
Puffy wanted to be as welcoming as possible. No, ‘want’ wasn’t the right word, she had to be as welcoming as possible. This poor kid had gone through so much in such a short amount of time. She needed to be slow and she needed to make sure all her words were calculated.
It was almost like walking over a frozen lake. One wrong step and the ice could shatter, submerging both of them into the frigid waters that were bound to suffocate them.
“Puffy, I’m not dead.”
It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a joke, it was a simple statement. In all honesty, Puffy didn’t quite know how to react to it. She hadn’t been expecting such a blunt declaration. But if this was now what her job was on this server, she was going to have to work with what she was given.
“I know Tommy, you’re not dead.”
“But the-then why do I-” He paused, glancing at the door.
“It’s okay, we can stay here for as long or as little as you like.”
Tommy took in a deep breath, finally looking Puffy in the eyes, “Why do I feel like I’m dead then? Why does everyone around me treat me differently and always want to mention what has happened when what I want is to forget about it and move on but everyone thinks I’m weird because of course they do because I died and I came-”
“Tommy, Tommy, breath for me, okay?” The boy took a gasp for air, eyes wide, almost surprised at himself for spilling such precious secrets. At least the kid still rambles, it was one thing that reminded her of the old Tommy. A sign that maybe he was still in there, he just needed a helping hand to drag him through the sea of pain and trauma.
“I think,” Puffy smiled gently, “I think others just need a bit of time too. They don’t think you’re dead Tommy, they are glad that you’re alive. It’s just sometimes a lot to take in.”
“I’m not dead.” He repeated.
“No, you’re not dead.”
Then the blond fell silent and Puffy tried her hardest to coax more out of him, coax anything out of him. Alas, he sat still, lips thinly pressed shut, eyes once again darting around the room.
So, she allowed him to go. She was left wondering about what the boy had been through. Today she had only been allowed to see a glimpse of what he was thinking, what he was feeling. He was adamant that he was alive so Puffy suspects there could be some hidden doubt seated deep withing his mind. However, to get there she was going to have to uncover everything else first and that was a hard task.
Tommy thanked her. Puffy said they should meet up again next week. They both left, moving on with their day.
Despite the fact that she now had an office, she didn’t really have any clients. She had one kid, filled to the brim with pain and trauma, but that was it.
However, if people looked like they were in need of help, it wouldn’t hurt her to offer it to them.
So, when she spots Jack Manifold looking slightly dishevelled and frustrated, she decides that she would see what was happening.
“Jack, you okay bud?” The boy looks up from where he was stood, at the front desk of the hotel (Tommy’s hotel, not his, but that was a conversation for another time.) He shoves some items into the chest and adjusts his headphones.
“Oh Puffy, what do you want?” he tries to hide the pent-up anger he was obviously feeling but it was too late, she had already detected it. The way he threw his items in the chest, they way he tried to make himself look more presentable as if he hadn’t just been moving about frantically, they way his hands were tight fists, his knuckles turning white.
“I was just checking in, seeing if you’re alright.” She softened her stance, making her look as unthreatening as possible.
“Why do you care?” he spat, unclenching, and then clenching his fists again.
“Because we’re friends and I was just wanting to know if you are doing alright.”
“Don’t try and bullshit me,” he no longer hid the anger (it didn’t take long for him to show his true colours, Puffy noted), a tired frustration lacing his words, “we’re not friends. You don’t care about me.”
“That isn’t true Jack.”
“You’re literally trying to sue me or some shit because you claim this hotel isn’t actually mine!”
“That doesn’t mean that we still can’t be friends, I’m still allowed to check up on you.”
“Well, there’s no need, it’s not as if anyone checks up on me any way.”
Now that was a very interesting comment. Jack didn’t seem to think much of it, passing it off as something completely normal but it explained quite a bit for Puffy.
“People do care about you Jack,” she said softly.
“No Puffy you don’t understand. It’s as if I’m not even there! It’s like they don’t even notice me!”
“That’s not true-”
What unfolded next signalled that she had hit a nerve. She knew exactly what she should and shouldn’t say with Tommy but she had never seen this side of Jack before. This was a guy who she had watched steal the hotel, act selfishly for his own gain. To be completely honest, she didn’t know much about his past but her words obviously triggered a defensive response.
“No Puffy! You can’t just say that! I was talking to Tommy; he had actually come back, and everyone seems to be so caught up on that. But did you know that I died? Did you know that I came back?”
Puffy was vaguely aware of that fact but Jack’s cries confirmed it. The puzzle pieces started to click in her mind.
“If you didn’t know that, it wouldn’t surprise me. It’s because no one ever notices me. I fought in a war. I watched my friends die and then I got killed too. I also lost my nation on doomsday, not just Tommy. Not just Tubbo. But no one seems to remember little ol' Jack Manifold, do they?”
Sharply, he exhaled, clenched fists now shaking.
“Even when I tried to talk to Tommy,” he continued, “even when I tried to open up to him, he asked me about Moana. Do you know how fucked up that shit was? I was finally being open and then once again I’m just overlooked! I’m- I’m sick of it.”
His voice trailed off, he took a deep breath in. Puffy stood completely still. Well, she hadn’t been expecting that.
But she was the self-proclaimed therapist of the server and she was going to try to be the goddam best therapist this server had ever seen.
“I’m sorry you’ve had to feel that way,” How many traumatised teenagers were on this server? Jack had grown up during a cycle of war, how could she have been blind from that fact?
L’Manberg had several members. And what she can remember from the photos, was that Jack was also once a proud member of the group too. On top of this, he had lost all his lives and yet here he stood, trying his hardest to get recognition. Acting out and letting his anger fuel him because he is so sick of being treated like nothing. He wants to prove someone wrong, he wants to prove anyone wrong.
“What?” Jack’s voice was quiet now, taken aback by Puffy’s apology.
“I said I’m sorry you’ve has to feel this way. Oh my God Jack, you’re a child of war too. You’ve been through hell and back, no one should have been put through that. I’m sorry it’s taken this long for someone to realise this.”
Blankly, the teenager stood staring at her, so Puffy continued, “and I want you to know that I’ll listen to you, okay? Actually, let me thank you for being open with me. Thank you for telling me about this.”
“You- you’re thanking me?”
“Of course, it’s never easy telling someone about trauma and feelings but you’ve opened up to me right now.”
“Oh- erm-”
“You know what Jack?” She pulled out a book from her inventory, “I’ve started offering therapy for anyone on this server who needs it. I’m not an expert but I just want to help and I really think we could talk things out.”
Handing the book over to Jack, she gently smiled.
“I’ll think about it,” he responded and honestly, that’s the best answer Puffy could wish for.
For Jack, she would probably have to do a lot of talking with the other members too. Wasn’t he close to Niki? Maybe Niki could give her some insight. There was also Tommy, she doesn’t quite understand the relationship the two of them have at the moment. Sam had briefly mentioned that Jack had malicious intentions towards the blond so maybe she would need to ask Tommy if he was okay with talking things out.
A plan vaguely formed in her mind.
She would get back to her office and start writing down the steps she’ll need to take.
Well, that’s what she would’ve done if she hadn’t been stopped by the faint sounds of sobbing that she had heard walking back to her office.
It was coming from behind some trees and as she walked past, she saw the familiar green pattern of a creepers skin and some netherite armour abandoned on the floor. Instantly she knew who exactly who it was crouched down on the floor, “Sam?”
The hybrid swiftly stood and turned around. Briefly he brought a hand to his eyes to wipe away any tears, he had obviously been crying, “P- puffy? What are- what are you doing?”
“I could ask you the same thing Sam. Is everything okay?”
And that’s the beginning of how Puffy offered help to the third person that day.
“Well, if I say no, would you believe me?” He chuckled, reaching down to grab his helmet.
“It depends Sam, I trust you to tell me the truth. I think we’re both open with each other.” Puffy responded.
Sighing he put the helmet on, “I’ll be honest. I just- it’s about- Puffy am I a bad person?”
At this point she was losing track at how many times she could be shocked or taken aback by something someone says. “No of course not, why would you say that?”
“You don’t have to lie, Tommy died because of me Puffy. It was my fault.”
Ah, why hadn’t she noticed before? In the midst of all the chaos she was trying her best to focus all her energy on the blond that had been brought back to life. She had completely ignored the fact that others might have been negatively affected by it too.
“Sam you can’t blame yourself for that, it wasn’t your fault.” She offered him a reassuring hand, he flinched backwards.
“You can’t say that though. If I had stepped in, if I had gotten Tommy back then it wouldn’t have happened.”
“But you were following the rules Sam-”
“Exactly! I was following the rules. I was being a warden but when does the warden persona get too much? Where do I draw the line between the two? Because surely any other sane adult would’ve put the rules aside to save someone’s life. When does the ‘warden’ stop and ‘Sam’ begin?”
The questions echoed in her mind as she looked into exhausted eyes. In all actuality, she didn’t have an answer for him, no matter how desperate he looks. Because deep down she knew that others would’ve reacted differently, they would’ve stopped being so strict and let Tommy out as soon as possible. However, Sam was smart, and he was loyal so of course he was a follower to the rules. His whole life revolved around order and normality. If he had a job to do, he was going to do it well.
But then again, was this a case of him playing the part too well?
A faint hiss sounded out and Puffy realised what it meant, so she sprung into action, “I understand why you’d feel that way Sam, but you need to realise that you can’t blame yourself for his death.”
“But I could’ve stopped it!” Slightly, the hissing increased.
“I could have stopped it too Sam if we’re playing it by that game. I could have persuaded Tommy not to go. Tubbo could have begged him not to, insisted that his best friend moved on. Maybe if things had played out differently with Techno maybe he could’ve knocked some sense into him. So, if you’re going to blame yourself, look at the bigger picture. A lot of things led up to that moment and in the end, it was Dream that killed him. It was Dream’s fault.”
Slowly, the hiss subsided as Sam sighed. Gingerly he took Puffy’s hand and the captain pulled him into a tight embrace.
“You already know about my office that has opened up. You’re always free to stop by and talk,” she offered.
Pulling away from the hug, she noticed a small blush spread across Sam’s green skin, “Puffy I’m not some kid, I’ll be alright.”
“Therapy isn’t just for kids,” she corrected, “it’s for anyone and everyone. My office is going to be open for everyone on this server, whoever needs to come is welcome to. That includes you.”
“Thank you, I’ll remember that.”
“Good, go get some rest Sam.”
“You too.”
With that final exchange done, they parted ways. Puffy decided that tomorrow she could start planning everything. Today she was going to sleep, heading home for the sole intention to rest up for the tasks that were sure to drain her.
Flopping onto her bed, she rubbed her eyes. She never realised how hard being this server’s therapist was going to be.
A couple days later she decided to visit Snowchester. Foolish had been so excited about his newest build so of course, being the proud papa she was, she had to go see it.
And of course, it was amazing. It even challenged the size of the prison. The mansion was giant and yet had so many small details. She was so immensely proud of her son; his skills were unmatched on this server and she would always be ready to state that fact. Now he had moved on to another project and she was sure he would do just as good of a job on that one like he did on the mansion.
Whilst touring through the hundreds of rooms, she bumped into Ranboo. The hybrid seemed a lot calmer recently, no doubt this was because of the new family he had formed. Puffy was glad, she was happy to see him find somewhere safe to be. Especially in a place that was a fair distance from the main lands of the server.
“Oh, hello Ranboo! How are you doing?”
“I’m good,” he answered, “how about you Puffy?”
“Tired, I guess.” She admitted.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, everything is fine. I’ve opened up my therapy business this week and I didn’t expect to have this much work already. Who knew this server had so many traumatised people?” She joked, noticing the sad expression that briefly flashed across Ranboo’s face.
“I guess that’s true. At least someone is trying to help. I think some people have gone too long without proper assistance.”
“Thats very true. I just want to offer comfort and reassurance, it’s the least I can do.”
For a moment Ranboo hesitated, “Can I- can I ask who exactly you are helping?”
“That might be confidential information unfortunately. Why, is there anyone in particular you are wondering about?”
“I’m sort of worried about Tommy.”
“Oh?” She tried to sound surprised but in reality, it was no surprise at all that the hybrid was worried about him, “can I ask why?”
“Well, he came to visit recently, and he was jumpy, like, really jumpy. Any pain he took caused him to flinch and choke back screams. I just think back to the guy who I helped grieve George’s house with and then look at him now. They are two totally different people. He seems so distant and I want to help but I really don’t think he wants it, especially from me.”
“Thats certainly interesting,” Puffy commented, “I shall keep that in mind. I will watch out and see if he needs any help, thanks Ranboo.”
Ranboo relaxed his shoulders, “Thanks Puffy.”
With the new information, she headed back home. So now she knew that Tommy was scared of getting hurt. Well, that’s what she assumed anyway considering what Ranboo had told her. It seemed like Tommy was frightened of feeling any sort of pain which could probably be explained by the fact that he has died. I mean, who wouldn’t be afraid after being murdered and then brought back to life?
She would have to think of a safe way to bring the subject up with him.
Then a week had already passed, Tommy was meant to meet up with her again and yet he didn’t show up. An hour passed and no one came to knock on her door. Panic arose in her, stomach churning at the though of what could’ve happened to the blond. Sure, he might have just not wanted to come but it wasn’t like him to be completely silent. If he didn’t like something, normally he would be vocal about it.
So, she set off in search of him and eventually found the teenager sat on the bench outside his house, looking out onto the rest of the server.
“Tommy,” despite her best efforts to keep her voice flat and soft, the blond still jumped, “I was looking for you.”
“Sorry Puffy,” after glancing at the captain he returned his eyes to where he was previously staring.
“No need to apologise, can I sit?” Tommy nodded, “is there any reason you didn’t come to my office today?"
Shrugging, he answered, “I don’t know. I think I was scared.”
“Scared? There’s nothing to be scared of Tommy, it’s a safe space,” she reassured.
“I know it is and I trust you, it’s just- do you think I’m weird?” he turned and looked her in the eyes. Puffy didn’t like how dull they looked; the gaze almost made her feel uncomfortable. She wanted to change that so badly.
“Of course not Tommy, why would you say that?”
“Jack Manifold said something odd last week. He mentioned trying to kill me with the nukes he had made with Tubbo.” He shifted slighted, “You know it was Niki who led me there? I don’t want to think about it but I think they were working together. I played it off as a joke by saying some random shit. I think I mentioned Moana at one point but the statement stayed prominent in my mind.”
“Have you tried talking to him about it? Have you tried talking to Niki?”
“No because don’t you think I deserve it? People all act weird around me anyway, like I’m some sort of freak. I sometimes think that it would just be better if I had stayed dead.”
“No!” She hadn’t meant to shout and cringed at the way Tommy curled inwards slightly at her raised voice, “sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Tommy you are definitely better off alive, I need you to keep reminding yourself that. You’ve contributed so much to this server; you are a good person.”
“Have I not contributed to the chaos though? I have hurt people. I am not a good person.”
“You are a kid. A kid that was forced through several wars, the loss of a best friend and also exile. A kid who has probably already realised his own mistakes, am I right?”
“I wish I never set fire to George’s house,” he admitted, hesitant.
“Exactly, that shows you’ve grown as a person. You have helped detain the most dangerous person on this server. He is in prison because of you. You deserve a rest and that means healing too. Please, no one here wants you dead.”
“I think Jack Manifold would disagree.”
“I think Jack Manifold is another teenager brought up on war and loss. He is someone who is just fed up with it all. Maybe talking would be the best option.”
“I don’t know if I want to.”
“Thats alright,” Puffy reassured, “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. It’s an option that I think will benefit both of you but of course we should only do it if you’re both ready.”
Nodding timidly, Tommy silently agreed to her statement. It showed improvement, at least she now knew that, one day, Tommy could potentially talk with Jack. That could help both parties.
“I also think you could talk with Tubbo and Ranboo.”
“Why?” Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed.
“I think you should be honest with them. Tubbo’s your best friend and he wouldn’t judge you if you told him how you felt. It would help strengthen the relationship.”
“Why Ranboo though.” Puffy noticed the way Tommy’s expression soured.
“Despite whatever you’re thinking, he cares about you,” Puffy could detect a hint of jealously radiating from the boy.
“He’s married to Tubbo, I’m sure neither of them need me. I wouldn’t want to bother them”
“It wouldn’t bother them though; they both want you to be okay. Just because they are married now doesn’t mean they aren’t willing to help. In fact, I’m sure the two of them really want to help you.”
“So, you’re saying I should talk to them both?” He leant over to the enderchest that was to the right of them both.
“Yeah, I do,” she watched as he handed her a disc from the chest and signalled for her to play it. She obliged, slipping it into the slot in the jukebox, “I think it is always the best thing to do. Talking can really help clear up misunderstandings and help others understand what you’ve been through.”
Humming in response, they sat as the silence was filled with the soft melody of the disc. Clouds floated across the sky, water flowed in a nearby steam and the faint moo of a cow and cluck of a chicken could be heard. Music melted away any anxiety she felt, almost as if the tranquillity she was feeling right now would last forever.
As the music faded out, Tommy stood up, “I think I will talk to them. To Tubbo and Ranboo.”
“Thats good to here, I’m proud of you,” she praised.
Tommy turned to face the other way, hiding the blush that had spread across his cheeks, “yeah sure, whatever.”
That night Puffy fell asleep content with today’s progress. One small step at a time, she didn’t need to rush any of this.
As the sun shone through the windows, the rays gently waking her up, Puffy began to get ready for the day. Today she had a small journey to make. She was going to visit Niki.
A part of her was excited to finally see Niki again yet a part of her dreaded the fact that she was going to be asking questions she would rather not have to ask. What Tommy had brought up yesterday needed to be addressed and she was sure Jack probably wasn’t the best person to go speak to about it. So, Niki was the one she had to see.
“Puffy!” Said girl welcomed her with a warm smile. The underground city she had been building was coming along well. Each room smelt of freshly baked bread and flower petals, it resembled Niki perfectly. The pinked hair girl was looking happier and healthier too. It’s as if this had started off as a distraction for her but had now become a big project that she was thoroughly invested in.
Niki brought her into the kitchen, offering her some of her baked goods and a drink. Chatting about everything, they caught up with each other.
It was nice. Puffy enjoyed talking to someone so casually for once, not talking to someone because it was part of her job. Unfortunately, she knew that that was about to end.
“So why did you visit me?” It was an innocent question but Puffy knew the answer would change the mood.
“Actually, I wanted to ask you a couple of things. It’s about Tommy,” there was no reason to beat around the bush and she noticed how Niki stopped for a brief second at the mention of the teenager’s name.
“Oh really? Is everything okay?” Busying herself with putting away the ingredients she had previously used, she made sure not to make direct eye contact.
“It’s just that I’ve heard a couple things about a nuke and somethings about you and Jack.”
Sighing, Niki stopped where she was, “Puffy I’m going to be honest with you, whatever you’ve heard is true.”
“Niki,” her heart dropped at her friend’s defeated tone, “why? Why would you-”
“I think,” she interrupted, turning around, “I think I was angry. I’m not proud of what I tried to do, you have to believe me. I was just so frustrated with everyone and everything and I just so happened to try and take it all out on Tommy. It wasn’t fair of me, I realise that now. And now I’ve moved on, I’m making a new start.”
“I, I don’t know how to respond to that.”
“Puffy please believe me when I say that I truly regret it. And then I heard he had died and I really didn’t know what to do. The boy who had always lived, the boy that had evaded any attempt of someone trying to take his life, had finally died? It baffled me. Yet it made me feel empty. I had wanted it but it didn’t fulfil me at all. That’s when I realised how stupid my actions were and how I needed to move on, not make the same mistakes. So I did move on, making my own space to live in.”
Even though she hadn’t expected Niki, the sweet girl she had so many good memories with, to admit to wanting to murder Tommy, she could understand where she was coming from. Puffy couldn’t forget that Niki was also a teenager of war, she grew up in the same environment as the others. Of course violence was her solution to her pent up frustration. At least she was doing better now and that’s all Puffy wanted for her.
“I’m glad you’ve moved on,” she smiled as she watched the tension release from Niki’s shoulders.
“Me too.”
“Next time you ever feel that way, please know my doors are always open.”
“I appreciate it. Thank you,” Niki paused before her eyes widened slightly, as if she had realised something, “I think Jack hasn’t moved on though. He came to me but I turned him down, I had explained that I had moved on.”
“Okay, thanks for the info Niki.” Another situation she would have to address, “I should get going now.”
As they walked to the exit, Niki stopped her, “also Puffy, please know you are always welcome to come here. I’d love it if you visited me.”
“Id like that, I’ll be back soon.”
Leaving the underground city, she started her new mission. She needed to talk with Jack again.
Once again she found him in the hotel, this time he was cleaning the rooms.
“Hello?” she called out.
Dropping the bed sheets he was holding, Jack laughed, “Shit, you scared me there Puffy, what can I do for you?”
This was definitely a change from last time she had talked to him. Almost as if his words were coated in artificial sugar, like he was back to hiding his true emotions and intentions. Luckily, Puffy knew not to trust everything you see on surface level.
“Hi Jack, I was wondering if I could talk to you?” She asked.
Picking up what he had dropped, he nodded, “sure, what did you want to talk about?”
“I was just checking in with you after our last talk.” That was partially true, she wanted to know if anything had genuinely changed.
“Oh, yeah, sorry about that! Everything’s fine I was tired that day, you can forget whatever I said.”
Narrowing her eyes, Puffy realised once again she was going to have to be blunt, “Jack I know about you wanting to kill Tommy with the nukes.”
Immediately his face dropped, “Oh, do you now?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to talk though, that’s why I’m here.”
“Are you sure,” the sweetness of his voice had been dropped, “or are you here to ridicule me? Tell me I’m wrong like everyone else has on this server.”
“No, I just want to understand why. I want to be able to help.”
A moment passed. Jack laughed. “You know I’d do it again.”
“Do what again?”
He chuckled once more, “try to kill Tommy.”
Her blood ran cold. Hadn’t the poor kid gone through enough? Sure, he wasn’t completely pure and had previously messed up but no one deserved death as a punishment. Even Jack, who had now openly admitted to wanting and attempting to kill, did not deserve death.
“I won’t allow you to do that.” Puffy made sure she was stern with her statement, “but I still want to help you.”
“Why? Why?” Jack exclaimed, “I’ve just told you that I still want to kill him and you’re offering me mercy? Are you really stupid enough to do that? He ruined me Puffy, he deserves-”
“No one deserves death Jack. Surely you would know this considering you have had to experience it yourself. You two have that in common, you’ve both felt the pain of dying and coming back. And yet you still wish to bring it upon him.”
Jack was silent, she couldn’t read what he was thinking. She braced for a comeback, she readied herself for more anger but instead received a whisper, “I just want him dead, Puffy. I want to be free of this.”
“There are other ways to free yourself from your past Jack, I can tell you’ve been through a hell of a lot. Tommy dying won’t resolve anything.”
“It would get rid of him though.”
“Would that satisfy you completely? Or would you rather tell him how you truly felt, made sure it was known that you felt used and betrayed. Wouldn’t you want others to understand what you have been through?”
“I- I don’t know. When he had died, I felt empty. I felt numb. But then he waltzed back in here, rambling and joking and acting as if nothing bad has ever happened. Acting as if he has never done anything bad.”
“I know that angers you but sometimes it’s a coping mechanism for Tommy. Sometimes it’s the only way he knows because that’s how it has always been.”
“You’re too kind Puffy, it’s stupid that you want to help so many bad people.”
“Not bad people,” she corrected him, “no one I’ve offered help to is a bad person, you included. They’re people who are hurt, who are confused and desperately need someone to comfort them. If no one else will, I’ll be brave and step up to the task.”
“It won’t fix everything though, will it?” Jack argued, “you can’t miraculously say a few words and then we’re healed, you can’t say a few words then I’m healed.”
“I know, I know. It’s just that talking is a good starting point. Right now, what we are doing is good, it’ll help in the long run.”
The teenager didn’t respond. Puffy turned towards the door, ready to exit the hotel room, “just remember Jack that if you do hurt Tommy I don’t know if I’ll be able to help you after that.”
“That doesn’t sway me much. I can’t just change instantly but I will keep that in mind Puffy.”
Grabbing onto the ladder, she headed down but before she reached the ground floor, a voice stopped her, “Puffy?”
Glancing up she met the blue and red glasses once more, “yeah?”
“Your office is still open right?”
Smiling she responded, “always.”
As she had stated previously, one step at a time. Jack asking a simple question showed that he might be willing to talk even if it seemed uneventful. She would definitely have to discuss things more with him because there is no way she was letting Tommy get hurt by another person again.
Of course, she couldn’t suddenly heal their relationship and she was certain that it would take time for them to feel comfortable talking with each other again. In fact, she would warn Tommy to stay clear of Jack for a little bit. But any progress forward was good progress.
A cycle began. She would make sure she would check in with Sam every so often. The hybrid seemed to avoid mentioning the conversation he had had with her previously, but it didn’t stop her from always asking if he was alright.
Often she found herself back in Snowchester. Ranboo, Tubbo and their son Michael were doing well. She was glad to see the family flourishing. Together they were decorating the inside of their mansion and none of them seemed in need of her help.
Dropping by the hotel became frequent, sometimes she would sit and chat with Jack, sometimes he refused to talk and so no words were exchanged. Every so often he would need a reminder that murder wasn’t a suitable stress reliever and every so often Jack would mentioned that he still wanted Tommy gone. But Tommy stayed clear of the hole which is the place where Jack spends 90% of his time. So right now, Puffy wasn’t worried about it.
One small step at a time.
Today she was doing a check up on Tommy, she had offered to help gather materials with him. He was making a watch tower to look over the prison. Puffy didn’t ask why and didn’t ask about what had happened inside the prison. In fact, she still knew hardly anything about his experiences. But she didn’t mind. Healing was a slow process after all.
She reminded herself, one small step at a time.
However, a single problem can send you flying back.
They were collecting wood and neither of them had heard the creeper sneak up behind them. Puffy had heard the soft hissing though, managing to push the creature away before it exploded.
Mud scattered around them; grass flew up into the air. Both of them were pushed back, landing hard on the ground. As the ringing subsided, it was replaced with muttered apologies. Glancing over she realised Tommy had curled up in on himself, babbling away, hands covering his ears.
It was as if he was preparing himself for another hit. He was begging for it not to come. Puffy nearly thew up at the mention of Dream’s name.
Fuck. What has this kid been through?
Sobbing pulled her away from her thoughts as she rushed to the kid’s side. Cautiously she laid a hand on the shaking body. Despite her caution, it causes him to scramble backwards, hands flying away from the side of his head and moving in front of him instead.
He was trying his best to protect himself and Puffy hated that this was the first thing he had thought of doing.
“Tommy, you don’t need to speak but I need a sign that you can hear me,” she instructed.
Hands twitching and eyes glazed, Tommy didn’t move. Puffy waited for a response, she waited for anything.
All she got was more tears, choked back sobs and breathing that seemed to steadily increase in speed.
“Tommy,” she knelt down in front of him, “can you show me that you can hear me? It can be anything at all, you don’t need to speak.”
Patiently she waited. One of his hands closed slowly. Puffy let out a sigh of relief.
“Does that mean you can hear me?”
His hand opened and closed again.
“Okay, I’m just going to grab your hand Tommy,” she warned before pulling his fingers to her chest, hopefully so he could feel the beat of her heart, “I need you to copy my breathing.”
Slowing down her breaths and exaggerating each one, she gently guided Tommy. Seconds turned to minutes and Puffy wasn’t quite sure how long it took for his breathing to steady out. Finally, he lowered his hands.
Desperately he tried to wipe away the persistent flow of tears, “sorry, sorry, I don’t mean- I’m sorry.”
“Hey, there’s no need to apologise,” she hushed, “it’s okay. You’re safe and I’m here.”
Another silent moment passed; one single whimper left his lips.
“Can I hug you?” Puffy asked.
Hesitantly, Tommy nodded and Puffy brought the teen into a gentle embrace.
If Tommy cried some more and grasped onto the back of her shirt tightly, not wanting to let go, then no one but the two of them had to know about that.
Both of them stood up in silence. Gathering the materials that had been dropped, Puffy realised that Tommy needed a distraction.
They couldn’t go back to building the tower, that was too close to the prison. Going to Snowchester might not be the right choice either, he probably didn’t want to see Ranboo and Tubbo right now. Sam was also probably a bad decision considering the two of them had a strained relationship after the whole ordeal that had happened inside the prison cell.
So she came up with a different idea instead.
“Tommy, I was going to make stew for dinner tonight, did you want to help me make it?”
Sniffling Tommy agreed, “yeah that sounds nice.”
“Okay, lets get going then.”
Quietly, they headed to her home. There wasn’t a need for words because they both had a mutual understanding for each other. As the silence surrounded them, Puffy thought about the past few weeks and all that had happened.
Once again she was reminded, one small step at a time.
They might not be okay today. Hell, they might not be okay in several months. However, she has made peace with this fact. They all have so much to do before they can all feel slightly normal again.
But you know what? Right now, as she walked home with the blond following closely behind, she realised something.
He is healing, it’s tiring and slow and it is going to take some time, but he is healing nevertheless.
And honestly? Right now, that’s all Puffy could ask for.