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The black kwami had hinted things for him.
Things he couldn't see before.
Things he took for granted.
Forgotten and set aside to his minor priorities.
But despite of the time wasted on focusing his attention on an unreachable person, he began to notice it.
He then began to notice her worth.
He began to notice the way she shined.
The way she lit a life of someone.
And so the visits came.
Her company and midnight snacks was the only thing he looked forward each and every day.
Because of this strategy, he began to know her, very well.
To know things he couldn't from that person before.
To see even the smallest details about her.
Her likes and dislikes...
Flaws and perfections...
Fears and regrets...
Secrets and insecurities...
Dreams and fantasies...
Friends and family...
And he drank it all as he fell down in an endless ride of emotions and feelings he never knew what.
Everyday, a new information is found, and that resulted of him almost knowing her like the back of his hand, somehow he swore he could even battle her parents about the knowledge he has of her, strange... but quite amusing and... satisfying.
In time, his world eventually wandered around the ravenette, with her around nothing could ever go wrong, even if the planet was in chaos, as long as she's with him everything feels right and just.
He loved those times...
It was addicting, cuddling in the silent night, it's strange he admits that... but could you really blame him? Her bare skin pressed against his cheek, eyes shining so bright like the billions of stars above as she kept contact with his and somehow continued to tell him the same words of comfort he loved, hands locked beneath his golden mane, scratching the very best places she knew, his arms placed around her petite waist, locking both of them as he let out a soft purr till they eventually drifted to deep slumber.
Soon the two became inseparable, that even after light invades the darkness around them, they remained glued in each other's embrace, it was comfortable, really comfortable, warm and almost feels like heaven.
Still he couldn't get enough of it, he wanted more of her, just her, not anyone else.
It was dangerous... yes... he was not only risking Marinette's safety, but also her loved ones...
Same goes to him.
Both of them were risking lives everytime he'd knock on the trapdoor, or when she herself allows him... this reality soon made his heart ache.
It was selfish and greedy... he knew that, but alll his life he was obedient to everyone that led him to having his life wrapped up in someone else's finger, maybe fate had plans that somehow changed his perspective about following orders, maybe it was time he became selfish for once, maybe just for himself... he could keep her for his own personal desires.
Yes... he loved those moments when he felt torn between deciding what's right and wrong, and she'd make her way through his mind again and he'd find himself locking her underneath him as she stroked his hair, whispering loving words, and he would just give up and make an exception tonight once more.
But the times faded...
And she began to change...
Luka invaded her mind.
Infected it with his love and sweetness.
The cuddles and stolen glances slowly and painfully faded, it felt cold... and lonely once again, and brick by brick, he saw how she grew apart from him, a wall forming securely as it kept them apart from having their moments again, everything felt unfamiliar, and one night, she introduced her new found relationship with the musician, a knife practically stabbed his heart.
Now it feels like it can never be him and her, alone from the world as they had this nightly visits.
But despite the unnoticed heartbreak he just had, he kept a smile formed on his lips, celebrated the night by taking her out for a treat, listened to her words as her eyes sparked everytime he mentioned him, and his heart remained being slowly ripped into pieces, yet he smiled, he exclaimed, laughing at her stories and even giving advices every once in a while.
Every moment, she talked and wondered about her love for the guitarist, it was almost unsettling.
Years passed by and nothing changed.
She was still in love with him...
And it drove him insane.
He tried to woo her, gave her trinkets and compliments, tried his best to take her affection back, with and without the help of the black mask.
But no improvement came from his efforts, her bluebell eyes remained to see him as nothing more than a very close companion.
All his hopes had sunk when a lightbulb lit from his head.
What if gifts and simple gestures never impressed the blue eyed?
He heard it a million times, she mentioned it that she fell in love from the guitarist's words and actions.
Simply said, his declaration of love was heart warming.
Feeling competitive, he convinced himself that his love for her was undeniably more than anyone could ever imagine, he adored her so much that he would be willing to sacrifice everything including his own life for her.
Though the thought of letting her go was just something he could never do.
He just needed the right words to express his undying love for her, actions have been solid evidence over the years, words are the confirmation.
Then a thought passed his mind.
Was Marinette waiting for confirmation?
Confirmation that he loves her?
He shook his head back from reality.
With a pen on his hand, Adrien began to pour everything his heart had wanted to say in a form of a poem.
But then, the kwami of destruction hovered next him and said words that peirced through his mind.
Plagg suddenly warned him.
From what?
He never knew.
Why?
Still no answer can be found.
Months that felt like torture came by and his poem grew more romantic and wonderful.
But his warnings worsened, always saying 'be careful' and 'think this through before you dive right in again', his words plagued his head with every negative thought.
Though he didn't listened to it.
The blonde stubbornly took his time and always dragged his attention back on the baker's daughter.
He mustn't give up on her!
His mind focused on the poem, leaving the thought of it and her only, he needed to take her back, he needed her to see him as someone more than a close friend, he wanted to be more than her best friend, and if taking her back from that snake was the only solution to have her back, he would do it without hesitation.
A dark chuckle escaped from his mouth.
Well...
Desperate times call for desperate measures...
That fateful day came.
He sat on the edge of the mattress, nibbling his thumb as his left hand held the bouquet of roses, eyes fixated at his humongous window, impatiently waiting for the time, waiting for the sun to set, waiting for the stars to invade the night sky once more.
The kwami said nothing against this but warnings, no complains nor groans, just plain warnings and silent eatings.
Five minutes left and he finaly called his transformation.
Once done he took the formal clothing on and applied the cologne he found appealing to her.
He took the bouquet and leaped at the night.
Fantasies of several aftermaths filled his mind, all ending with one exact detail, he and the blue eyed would be together forever and will soon be eloped and have 3 kids and maybe even a pet, a hamster will do.
Chat Noir took his time.
He always pictured the setting, his minted eyes opening and seeing the only view he wished and was granted to see every single day, the sun's light kissing her as she continued to sleep soundly, cerulean eyes opening and glistening from the brightness of the day, raising his arms to pull her body closer to his, her melodic voice greeting him full of love, his life revolving around her and their future kittens.
Nothing will certainly be better than having a simple happy life with the person you love to the moon and back forever.
The balcony of her new found home came to his vision.
As he calmed the quickness of his beating heart, setting the bouquet at his back, landing gracefully at the terrace, he knocked on the glass door.
"Chat? Is it you?"
She asked optimistically and fear started to invade his body.
Please... be still my heart...
"Ye-yeah! It's me!"
He answered back, but hesitation can be quickly read by his tone.
Since when does Chat Noir's voice crack?! Where's that charm whenever I need it the most!
The ravenette's silhouette came to his view as she ran towards the transparent door, the bun keeping her midnight blue hair bounced and somehow he noticed a trail of pure joy in her eyes, smile so wide and perfect... she looked so happy.
The hero began to wonder if the blue eyed knew about the "news" he was about to say, and with that thought, anxiety quickly filled his body, tensed and red... he most likely looked like a tomato by now...
The door shuffled as she removed the lock, it creaked and squeaked every single tug, he observed it, then a spark of something shiny on her hand came at his peripheral vision as she opened it halfway through, the evening breeze immediately kissing her creamy skin, strands of hair following the trail and her eyes even glimmered underneath the moonlight.
"Chat..."
"Princess...
"How are you! What happened? W-where have you been? I haven't seen you for so long! I have great news though! I- OH! Come in! Come in! I have so much to tell you!"
"Thank you! I... here!"
With a strong and shaky grip, he handed her the bouquet of blue, lavander and carnation pink roses, all freshly sprayed and thorns plucked, arranged and held out impressively by a silky white ribbon.
She blinked, her mind unable to function as she tried to recall the different symbolism of every flower, however her thoughts were halted by his ramblings, face crimson red as beads of sweat dripped down his cheek, emerald eyes hopping from one location to another and continued to avoid hers.
"Thank you for these, make yourself at home, I'll be right back!"
As she ducked herself away, the flowers safely at her hands, trying to find a suitable vase, the leather clad hero stiffly made his way at the living room and sat so hard at the couch that he felt his bottom aching.
There wasn't much change from the last few months, just a few addings such as the plushies he always assumed was either from her friends or better yet, her so called boyfriend, more framed pictures placed on the shelves and even the books he recommended for her, a warm flutter was felt as he thought about the last thought, just thinking of her accepting something he liked made him burst from happiness.
This girl's really going to be the death of me...
He heard the faint noise of the sink, assuming it was pouring water down the container she could've found.
"So... how've you been? Haven't seen you for a while... any particular stuff I might've missed?"
She yelled all the way from the kitchen, her voice accompanied by the water running down the faucet.
"N-no... same old! Same old... still having troubles with moving out!"
And before he could stop himself from more embarrassment, an awkward laugh escaped through his mouth.
Silence quickly creeped through the whole apartment, the sound of water long gone, his ragged breaths and foot tapping the only noise that made through his ears.
A short while, he heard the vase being palced down at what he knew was the wooden dining table, her voice then soon echoed not only in the whole building but also in his mind.
"Are you alright Chat Noir?"
At this point, his mind crashed, needing a reboot just to answer the question correctly and platonically.
He bit his tongue as it almost let out the words of...
"No, I'm not ok, I've been in love with you for years and was always forced to watch you and your boyfriend be such a cliche happy couple when that could've been us because I know we're supposed to be destined for each other, so please those flowers means 'I adore you a lot and have always desired to be with you and despite knowing you for almost 8 years, I still think I need to know more about you, but I know it's unrequited', but can you please leave your man for me just so we could have a happy ending while running away from Paris to settle on an island with our own children and hamster?".
His hands fidgeted on the sofa and his eyes seem to grow so much attention on the floor when the ravenette slowly approached his figure, hands clapped together and her face sewn with a worried expression.
As soon as she reached him, a hand fell on his shoulder, making soothing caresses as the other shyly raised his head and his eyes found themselves completely drawn on her beautiful bluebell ones.
The world seemed to stop and mystifying light started to glow behind her (despite being night time), a warm feeling from their old habits began to pool his chest as everything felt nostalgic, her eyes glimmering with undeniable love and desire as he returned the gesture with a blush, rose petals showered helplessly between them and his sight glued at the view of her plump lips, the blue eyed and he leaning so closely, moving ever so slightly-
"Are you sure you're doing ok? You look... tired and REALLY red..."
His little fantasy began to fade once her hands removed itself from his, the warm familiar embrace was again long gone, and everything felt cold once more.
Her worried sentiments and comments muted in his ears but suddenly a pair of words that felt like daggers was heard.
"... cause if you aren't feeling well, maybe we'll just have to skip you seeing my wedding dress-"
"W-wedding dress?"
"Oh! Right! Can't believe I've lost track of that..."
She eagerly took both of his hands and sat next to him on the sofa, eyes closed shut as she let out a deep breath, his heart raced at sight and his mouth went dry once he felt the cold surface of a simple yet gorgeous ring worn on her finger, two metal accessories brushing at each other as his body reacted at the sudden realization.
"Chat... LUKA AND I ARE ENGAGED!!!"
There it was.
Confirmation.
Confirmation that took all his hopes and dreams away from his grasp.
Everything abruptly felt cold, and breathing normally was all of a sudden really hard to perform, his vision blurred once he felt the tears trying to break the walls of courage and confidence off him as she continued to stare so happily, awaiting a reaction from the parisian hero.
His breath shuddered as he held the pain off his face, bottling his emotions beside his broken heart, the green eyed pulled one of his usual grins, removing his hands from the strong grip of the ravenette.
Like usual, he used his charming banter and excuses of him being tired and drained, her worries melted almost away, and their night continued like the ones they traditionally had before.
He listened to her stories, of how her fiancé proposed, gushed how romantic and beautiful it was, of how anxious Luka was, leading her to thinking that he might be trying to break up with her, of how people reacted to it and said she tried to reach him too for the news but unfortunately he knew to himself that he was the one who shut everyone out till he found the words that turned out to be useless in the end.
He as well comforted her when all the doubt came crashing her hopes down, saying she'll never be the best wife nor mother, he held her close when she wept silently, whispered compliments and consoling words.
Chat Noir kept his smile pasted as the called wedding dress was shown, and it never surprised him that she made such a remarkable gown, not to mention the color she had picked.
The ravenette used a lemonade pink fabric on the long lace sleeves, traveling down till it reached the waist, white being behind all the laces as it kept her chest puffed while fluffy layers of baby pink dominated the whole dress, her shoulders would most likely be shown when he noticed the small ruffles sewn at the top.
It had been breathtaking when she slipped it on, so much that a single unnoticed tear fell down on his cheek, his imagination running wild as she twirled and spun, and somehow he had managed to think this was her and his first dance at their wedding inside his mind, their night soon progressed of two friends dancing through the silent music as laughter filled the room and thoughts of his fantasies never left him.
As much as he despised endings.
He wanted... needed to get away.
Far away from anyone.
He bid his farewell to her and finally took a leap.
Away.
Away from her.
Away.
Away from his friends and family.
Away.
Away from his partner in justice and from his hometown.
Just away... far away.
He then took his Astrocat form and flew.
He wasn't genuinely surprised to see that he reached the northeast part of their country.
As the hero in black stood at the open field, he let out a shaky breath as he felt the wind through his hair, felt the grass beneath him bending their ways as they followed the trail.
Then the dam broke.
Everything holding him back all at once let go, hot tears uncontrollably fell as his sight turned at the open night sky full of twinkling stars, he yelled, shouted angry, desperate questions and curses that seeped through his sobs as his heart continued to tear itself into pieces.
All his thoughts about the blue eyed burned so painfully behind his eyes, seeing someone else courting her, someone else hugging her, kissing her, eloping with her, living the rest of their lives with her, when he could do nothing but watch and listen while everything tormented his poor heart and mind.
His heart ached so much to see, to hear.
Everything was too much, one and all has a breaking point, and it seems he was almost to his.
The blond's voice grew louder, to the point where his own throat hurt, but nothing mattered and he only hoped the gods will hear his pained howls, he only asked and asked as his body trembled, fist clenching and anger letting out on the beings who made the whole universe.
"Why was I too late?"
"Was the world really this cruel?"
"Why did it have to be her?"
"Why was I so stupid?"
"Why would you all do this do me?"
"Is this the price of freedom I longed?"
"Is this the risks they said when I wielded this miraculous?"
"Is destruction and misfortune the only power I hold?"
"Have I failed all of you that led me to suffer like this?"
"I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED!"
His transformation then fell, revealing the grieving boy full of tears and problems, his magical companion did nothing but landed on his shoulder, showing his sympathy by rubbing his paw and letting out a purr.
The broken man settled down the grass, still questioning the universe as he tried to sleep his sorrows away, fantasizing how the woman he loves would run her hands through his locks, her melodic voice whispering comforting words, hugging him tight and saying she'll never let go.
But instead of calming his distressed heart and mind, it did nothing but brought misery and despair as he once more cried his heart out.