Chapter Text
She was the first one to arrive as usual.
Standing on the veranda of the Wangshu Inn Mona turned to see the picturesque view of Dihua Marsh. While she personally prefers the evening sky so she could gaze into the stars she could not deny that the beauty of a nice sunset. There was just something about Liyue sunsets, it was as though the archons had painted the sky with various shades of orange and red. Just looking at the sky brought a warm feeling to whoever pauses to look up. Like a warm hug given at the end of an exhausting day.
She decided to just enjoy the scenery the famous inn had to offer. During her previous visit, she had several things going through her mind that she even failed to enjoy the food save for the delicious Golden Crab Lumine had served her.
Mona realized it had been quite a while since she had truly relaxed. For the past few months, she had been busy doing commissions just so she could pay rent and maybe some food while she’s at it. While the pay the Adventurer’s Guild along with her paychecks from The Steambird was more than sufficient for her living expenses it was due to Mona’s impulsive buying of research supplies and equipment that led to her breaking bank.
Suddenly it crossed her mind on whether she paid this month’s rent. Surely the old man would not put an interest on her failure to pay, while he seemed stingy on not letting her live in the house for free for breaking the seal his reasonably low prices were the only reason why she was not plucking mushrooms out of her neighbor’s roof.
The sun had already set, and the marsh was now enveloped in a thick fog transforming the landscape. Combine that with the sound of the giant cog at the bottom of the hotel it gave the feeling of someone riding a steam-powered ship across the Liyue skies. And for a moment this childish yet enchanting thought had made Mona forget her financial troubles for a moment.
She placed her arms on the balcony and rested her head, the sounds of running water from the giant cog and the faint noises from the restaurant below placed the astrologist in an almost trance-like state. It had indeed been a long journey waking up as early as 4 in the morning just to reach this place. Perhaps taking a light nap would not be a bad idea.
“How mora-less can you be sleeping outside the veranda of all places” as soon as she heard the annoying voice she quickly jumped up and turned to the speaker with a scowl.
“I . . . I was just closing my eyes” she crossed her arms “Unlike you who probably took a cart here I decided to take a more scenic route”
The man just scoffed; he didn’t need basic knowledge in astrology to see through her stupid bluff “I sure hope you didn’t come here running away from loan sharks. As much as that would be amusing it would be quite troublesome to deal with”
Mona’s face went red “I do not take loans! How dare you accuse me of such!” she pointed a finger at him “I would rather charge my readings than stoop as low as that”
Scaramouche let out a dry laugh “Sometimes I wonder if whether I should applaud you or just call you plain stupid”
“If you’re going to spend the whole evening condemning me with such insults then I could just . . .” before she continues any further an awfully familiar sound came from Mona’s stomach, which much to Mona’s dismay, made the Harbinger laugh even louder.
“No matter what you say your stomach can never lie” he wiped his tears as he headed for the elevator “Even the stars know that”
If she wasn’t so damn hungry and tired, she would have struck him with that stupid hat of his.
The inn was quite busy with several customers composing of those who were also staying in the inn and those who wish to just dine in Smiley Yanxiao’s cooking. The two of them were seated at the far-right corner next to the wharf where Mona had previously dined during her last visit. She could see the young waitress Yuhua running around carrying various plates in her hands while the innkeeper Huai'an was seen taking some orders as well.
“Hmm there seem to be more people than usual” Scaramouche mused as he was deciding on what to order “Usually the heavy flow of customers come during the day”
“Probably a festival of sorts going on” Mona tapped her fingers on the bamboo crafted table “I have heard from Lumine the wonders of the Lantern Rite Festival that occurred recently”
“Oh, don’t remind me” the man let out a disgruntled grunt “If there’s anything that I find more wasteful it’s festivals. While on a business perspective they are quite beneficial but in other aspects . . .” he let out a sigh “I rather not go there”
Mona smirked “Says the man from Inazuma” she rested her head on her hand “If I recall despite its current almost dictatorial state the region is quite famous for its own festivals, don’t you have a tradition of throwing beads out in the streets?”
“There are other things being thrown in the streets” Mona expected him to explain what he meant but instead he waved his hand to signal the waitress.
She decided not to pester him about the details. While she knew what kind of person he was, she doesn’t exactly know him per se. In fact, the only thing she was his occupation and the fact he can get on her nerves as much as she on his.
And she doesn’t even know his actual name.
Later they were served an array of dishes which were composed of Tianshu Meat, Squirrel Fish, Black-Back Perch Stew, Zhongyuan Chop Suey, and Stone Harbor Delicacies. Mona’s mouth couldn’t help but water at the smell of meat and fish at the table. Due to her insistence on eating just salad several people had assumed that she was a vegetarian with Sara of Good Hunter making ‘vegan’ versions of her specialties.
“Sometimes I wonder how you have such a figure when all you eat are mushrooms” Scaramouche mused as he sipped his stew.
“It’s all about discipline” Mona flipped her hair and lifted up her chin “I only partake in meals that ensure proper nutrition one must be weary of one’s health after all”
The man looked at the woman’s plate to see that it was full of a portion from every dish he ordered. He decided not to tease her any further. The astrologist might start flipping out and literally flip the table wasting all the food, while he had enough money for another serving, he was not a wasteful man.
While the rest of the customers were chatting away the two continued their meal in silence. Scaramouche was a quick eater Mona noticed. He would usually take small bits of the meat of fish and consume it as quickly as he had taken it before she realizes he had already eaten most of the fish. Mona herself was a quiet eater as she didn’t want to draw much attention to herself. She personally does not like the sounds of loud munching and people talking with their mouths full tossing rice and spit all around the table.
“Stress from work?” Mona asked when she noted the amount of Baijiu he was drinking “Did you get beaten up by a horde of Treasure Hunters?”
Stretching his neck “Please, those ants are the least of my problems”
“You seem stiffer than last time though”
“Did the stars tell you that?”
“The universe does not revolve around an imbecile like you” she rolled her eyes.
This made him smirk “For once I thought you were actually capable of showing concern”
“Oh please” her brows drew together “Like I would be concerned over a criminal”
“Criminal?” he snorted “Is that all you’ve got? I’ve expected better from you”
“I expect nothing from you”
“Is that so” the man did a low chuckle “Does this mean I get this session for free then?”
Immediately the astrologist’s face went red “Shut up! They might get the wrong idea!”
“And what might that be huh?” he teased as he took another sip “You know you’re getting quite the reputation; I’ve heard a couple of rumors from Mondstadt”
Mona crossed her arms “Are you that pathetic that you have your men now stalking me?”
“Tch, you’re not that special Magistus” he finished his drink, he was the only one who consumed the bottle as Mona didn’t have great experiences with alcohol “It just so happens you have a knack for something aside from your star reading”
“You know I could just leave now” Mona lifted up her chin “I mean you already fed me, so it’s my win”
The small man once again let out a chuckle “You see walking from Mondstadt to Liyue Marsh on foot just to get a free meal as a win? The stars have really messed up your head”
“Says you” she stared him down “You may be a Harbringer but I know entering and exiting Inazuma is no easy task, the fact that you had to sneak past the shogun’s security and take a boat just to come here for a session is quite petty as I would say. And you say I’m not that special”
He gave her a glare and she could see that he had broken the cup in his hands “Getting cocky, aren’t we?”
“Oh please” she stood up from her seat and walked away from the table “Come on, let’s just get it over with”
Looking at her retreating figure he rested his head on his chin “I thought you were leaving”
“Unlike you I’m a person who keeps up with their word” she placed a hand on her waist “So are you coming or not”
For a moment he just sat there looking at her that Mona almost wanted to smack him. He later let out a sigh and raised his hand “Let pay this first then”
“You really are stiff”
“You’ve been saying that all evening”
Scaramouche was currently dressed in nothing but a towel around his waist and was laid on his stomach on a table. Mona was next to him applying some sort of ointment made of slime condensate and crushed Cecilias. Well, he assumed it was Cecilias as the scent was quite potent.
“Seriously though it’s like I’m back at day one,” the witch said as she rubbed the ointment in her hands “Just what have you been doing for the past month?”
“Just do your job” Scara had his arms folded above his head and his face was on the tiny hole of the massage table so he could breathe “No questions”
This made Mona roll her eyes as she applied the oil on his back “You don’t have to be so sensitive about it”.
She remembered when she started giving him massages being misled by his body type. She assumed the midget was scrawny due to how loose his shirt was. But seeing as he was an assassin for the Fatui maybe it wasn’t so surprising that he had a lean athletic build. He wasn’t as bulky as the Vanguards but had more toned arms with defined lats and triceps. It was strange how much muscle managed to fit in such a compact body without him looking bloated.
She started to spread her palms around his broad shoulders, she noted that there was a faint cut on the left side of his lower back. There were a couple of cuts on his pale back, but they were mostly small scratches or faded marks that he presumably got long ago. The new cut didn’t seem as fresh but she could not remember seeing the mark the last time he asked her for a massage.
“What’s with stab wound?” she asked, upon taking a closer look she realized it was stitched.
She heard him let out a groan, but he did not reply to her inquiry.
“I’m not gonna mock you” she rolled her eyes once again “Even despicable brats like you get hit once in a while”
“She says as she mocks me” he glowered.
“Because you won’t speak to me unless I piss you off,” she said as she started using her body weight as she pressed her palms starting from his upper back and slowly going down to his lower back “Like it looks serious”
He let out a sigh “Some bastards tried to sneak up on me while I was asleep”
She paused for a moment trying to make sure she doesn’t accidentally touch the wound “What were they? Treasure Hoarders?”
He let out a snort “Like those footmen would even dare try to pull on a stunt like that on me. They couldn’t even handle our skirmishers”
“So, it was someone you know” her thumbs were pressing down his spine.
“You could say that” he grimaced.
She continued palming down his back making sure she wouldn’t do anything to the scar, while it did look like it was mostly healed, she didn’t want him to suddenly spark her if she accidentally hit a tough spot “You know, there seems to be rumors about you as well”
“Did the stars tell you that?” he said sounding unimpressed.
Ignoring his obvious jab, she continued “From what Lumine has told me you seemed quite disliked by some of the agents”
He snorted once again “Those kids just don’t know how to follow simple orders, you scold them one time and they think you’re a dictator”
“Apparently even your fellow Harbingers hate you” she chuckled “Not surprised though”
He lifted his head and gave her a look “Is that was Childe tells his girlfriend?”
Mona paused in pressing his muscles “I . . . didn’t say anyone” she raised up her palms.
“He’s just pissed I caught them snogging out in the open in Liyue” he clicked his tongue in annoyance “I don’t care about his affairs but he’s just making us all look unprofessional”
She grabbed for the ointment bottle and re-applied the liquid on her palms “What do you think he’d say if he saw you now”
“I have the decency to rent a private room away from the main city,” he said with a scrunched-up face “You may have nice hands Megistus but my back is the only body part I’m getting service for”
The witch rolled her eyes “Why I feel so honored” she started to focus on the muscles on his shoulders making her fingers follow the trapezius muscle.
There was a silence as Mona continued the massage. Scaramouche wasn’t really that much of a talker and usually, he falls asleep when she’s doing his neck. Though she could feel several tense muscles around his body that she wondered if she should do a bubble treatment again where she traps the person in a bubble and uses her magic to release stress and friction points.
If people were to find out how Mona was ‘servicing’ a Fatui Harbinger she really had no idea how to explain the situation without bringing anymore embarrassment for her. She was already hiding from that old hag over her stupid diary and was barely scraping by in Mondstadt. While she was dead set on not charging for her readings even someone like her couldn’t live off salad for too long.
She had only dabbled into massage therapy during her days as a student. A number of the other teachers were elderly people with back problems and neck pain. It was almost a given that pupils such as her would learn how to relieve them as a form of ‘training’. If she were being honest it was honestly a pain to do especially when she had to massage her own teacher, but it was a seniority thing she had to deal with it.
Despite her reservations, she had grown to be very skilled at it and even started looking into studying the different pressure points of the body and relating them to her astrological studies. So, when she was pondering on ways to earn cash aside from commissions from the adventurer’s guild, she did contemplate offering massages. It quickly turned sour though when she realized that most of her clients had a . . .
different interpretation of what the word ‘massage’ entails. She remembered almost drowning a customer who tried to grab her thighs the moment he entered her house.
It was safe to say she was not gonna take that route anytime soon.
It was only a few weeks later after the incident she was nearby Cecilia Garden looking for berries to make some jam when she stumbled upon Scaramouche. Around him were a group of knocked-out Treasure Hoarders and their leader seemed to be on his knees begging the Harbinger for mercy. There also seemed to be some Fatui agents nearby who from the looks of it hanging their heads in shame. Mona didn’t want to get involved in what seems like a business done gone wrong and was about to teleport away.
“Well, well well” despite being quite a distance away she could imagine the mocking sneer he had on his face “Looks like we have a witness”
“You know word of your questionable business spreads quite far,” he told her after her forcefully dragged her to Good Hunter after he found out her dinner was literal jam “Wonder how your old master would think?”
“Oh Archons” Mona sunk on her seat “She’d find out where I was and try to hunt me down”
This made him snort “That’s your concern? Not the fact that she thinks her pupil has questionable morals”
She glared at him “If there’s one person who has questionable morals it’s the literal assassin”
“I don’t know,” he said as he sipped his cream stew “Didn’t you almost drown the bastard that tried to grope you”
Mona’s cheeks were very red “I only offer massages; you know therapeutic ones. To relieve back pain and stuff”
“Sex can be therapeutic too”
“I will smite you” she gripped her spoon ready to use it as a weapon.
He smirked “So how good are you?”
“At smiting? Why I’m very adept to that, and I assure you it will be quite joyous to remove that bloody smirk off your face”
“I mean at massages” he rolled his eyes “Like do you actually know what you’re doing and not just randomly poking”
Her mouth did an almost pout “Of course I know what I’m doing. It would be blasphemous for me to offer my services for Mora if I was unable to do even the basics of such a task”
“Then it’s settled,” he said as he finished your soup “How much do you charge”
She leaned back against her seat “Wait what? Are you . . . asking for my . . .”
“Just a massage” he raised his palm “If I wanted an actual good time there are better women in Liyue and Inazuma, at least they’re well fed and properly groomed”
The astrologist’s nostrils flared but she kept her cool “So I see even you pay for that sort of thing” she did a smirk “I guess the only way a woman would take you seriously is she found out how heavy your pockets are”
He was silent for a moment before he stood up “Sara, you can charge the astrologist over here for the bill”
“Leave my space!”
And thus, their agreement had started.
It had been a month since the Harbinger had asked for her services. Once again Mona found herself staring at a book of her finances and gritting her teeth. The equipment she had ordered from Sumeru was to arrive sometime this week, she had also ordered certain books from Lisa not too long ago either and then there was that note she had written on the bottom of the page in regard to her Lazurite Transmutation Moon Filter. And that didn’t even include this month’s rent along with tonight’s dinner which Mona had no idea if she was even going to get.
Massaging her forehead to alleviate some of her stress “Ok, maybe I’ll try . . . try to ask if Albedo or Sucrose would be willing to eat tonight . . . I’m practically grasping at straws in here but desperate times Mona, desperate times” she took a deep breath trying to meditate her current situation “Maybe I should push back the repair for . . . a week . . . but my studies . . . aaaahhhh”
While she was moaning about her poor financial decisions, she heard a knock on the door. She turned to look at her Clepsydra and noted that it was already 4 in the morning. “Strange time for a visitor” she then sat up straight “Unless it’s that . . .” she was cut off from her thoughts when the knocking continued only this time louder and more urgent.
“That bastard” Mona stood up from her seat and headed for the door keeping her Widsith close to her she yelled at the person behind the door “What do you want? Don’t make me call the Knights”
“It was only a misunderstanding!” replied Reckless Pallad “But now because of the incident everyone now thinks I’m some sort of pervert! They’re now comparing me to Albert and Bruce”
Crossing her arms “I’m sure the mere fact that you touched me without my permission makes you even worst that a mere pervert”
“It’s not my fault that you’re dressed so . . . sexy. Like almost everyone thought you were offering anything other than massages”
This further infuriated the astrologist “I suggest you leave immediately if you don’t wish for a repeat of what happened last time”
“You were practically asking for it!”
“Enough!” Mona opened the door and was ready to launch her Stellaris Phantasm on him but instead of the Pallad, she was faced with someone else.
“Scara?” she blinked in confusion.
He bore the same harmless smile when they first met “Sorry for dropping by without warning, I just happened to have business in town”
“What the hell is your problem!” Mona looked down and saw that the Fatui’s sandaled foot was stepping on the Pallad’s face “I’m gonna tell the Knights!”
Still keeping his ‘cherry’ demeanor “I should probably ask you that question” he pressed his foot harder “Seeing as you’ve been harassing this broke astrologist over here”
“You seriously have to bring that up?” Mona palmed her face, leave it to Scara to insult the people he’s helping “Just let him go, he might start babbling you to the Knights”
“Like that’s the least of my problems now” Scara removed his foot from the man’s face which let him let out a sigh of relief only for the Harbinger to kick the Pallad in the face knocking him down the steps to Mona’s house.
“SCARAMOUCHE!” Mona yelled out in frustration “What if you accidentally kill him?!”
Seeming unphased “Like you weren’t about to do it yourself before I came by”
“What on earth is going on in here” the two turned to see a slightly chubby knight with blond spiky hair. When he saw the Pallad on the floor with a bleeding face his sheepish demeanor turned to sheer horror “ARCHONS What happened to you?”
Lifting a shaking hand “That bastard started kicking me for no reason”
While Mona didn’t exactly want to defend the idiot who started beating up people she wasn’t too keen on the Pallad’s lies either “What did you expect you came knocking at my door at the crack of dawn”
“Wait a minute” the knight pointed at Scaramouche “Aren’t you a Fatui?”
At this, the Pallad suddenly went pale “A Fatui?”
“Oh boy” Mona groaned “Look at what now you’ve done idiot”
“So . . .” the knight raised a finger “A member of the Fatui . . . beating an innocent civilian? . . . I could report this!”
The short man let out a groan and placed a hand behind his neck “It’s like 5 in the morning can we talk about this some other time”
“Trying to use your position of power I see”
This made Scara snort “Do you even know what I mean, tsk. If you’re gonna report something tell them that this damn bastard has sexually harassed my woman and has even resorted to stalking her”
Mona’s eyes widened at the term he used “Did you just say . . .”
“Now I personally gave the weasel a beating which would serve as sufficient punishment thus we won’t need to press further charges. We won’t also report about the fact that one of their on-duty knights is actually drunk”
The knight flinched at his statement “Now what you are talking about” he spread his hands “I haven’t had a drink since last week”
“I could smell the stench of Dandelion Wine from a mile” he gave the knight a cold glare “If you ever do report this to your superior just know that I will be happy to tell them of how inefficient and completely useless their footmen are. They’re supposed to keep this town in peace yet they couldn’t even keep the pants on for underaged girls” he smirked “I wonder how your Grand Master would react to that? She’d probably crumble under embarrassment, which is actually quite an amusing sight . . .”
“Okay Okay I get it” the knight himself was red in embarrassment “But I didn’t do . . .”
The Fatui Harbinger gave him an even darker glare “Don’t you dare finish that sentence”
The shamed knight gulped before he quickly took the Pallad and helped him up he was about to give Mona a bow but then even she was giving him an intimidating glare so he just dragged Pallad away as fast as his slightly drunken feet could allow him.
As they watched the stumbling duo leave Mona quickly smacked the back of Scara’s head, hard enough that his giant hat fell off.
“What the hell Megistus!” he yelled.
Mona opened her mouth as though to say something but she thought about it and just let out a sigh and shook her head. Without saying a word, she just entered her house and slammed the door right at his face.