Chapter Text
"I could actually fall for you."
Oh, but I already fell for you long before that kiss on the cheek, Misa Amane.
The scene played out over and over again in his head. More times than he'd like to admit. It was embarrassing, honestly. He played it out the scene as it went normally. Then, he'd play it out differently. In the way he'd like it. Not with Misa calling him her friend.
But L was happy that she acknowledged him as himself, not just some 'perverted' detective. If only she knew how much he cared for her. He just couldn't show it as much as he wanted to.
L, the lead on the Kira case, truly did like Misa Amane, the stunning model on those magazines and commercials, the one in love with Kira suspect, Light Yagami.
'In love with Kira suspect, Light Yagami.' It was the truth. The very sad truth. He even said it himself. That's why she kissed him, because he said that she loved Light.
And she was happy. She was happy that he said that she loves Light Yagami and that she's the perfect girl for him. And L was right, in his mind.
As depressing as it was, knowing that the woman he wanted so badly loved Light, her well-being came first. If she was happy with Light, then he would be happy for her. Not erasing his attraction to her, though; romantic feelings also come with treating that person as a person, not as if they're a toy.
L had seen it plenty of times on TV. Toxic relationships that the world is brainwashed into loving so much. He never understood it. He'd see those relationships where one person abuses their power, or the couple always seems to fight and argue. And it's meant to send the message of, 'this is ok if this is happening to you.' It's not. And L knew it. He was able to see right through that.
Even though he hadn't been in anything near a romantic relationship, he just knew that partners should be able to talk through things normally, and if they aren't able to; they shouldn't be together.
' They shouldn't be together.'
'They.' Used for so many things. But using 'they' here... meant Light and Misa. It was no secret that Light didn't seem to care too much about her. Always saying 'no', or some other response. Usually coming to the same conclusion, 'No, Misa. Not now.'
L didn't couldn't understand how Light, most often, refused to talk to her normally. Especially saying that to Misa. Misa was sweet like sugar. How could Light always tell her no? Even to simply things that most people would agree to without giving it a second thought.
'Sweet like sugar.' L loved sugar. Sugar was like a drug; Misa was, too. You know you shouldn't think about her, but it's like an addiction, and you keep coming back for more, when you know you shouldn't; it's bad for you. She was bad to think about. But he couldn't stop.
Was she really bad, though? It was Light who the bad one, he reminded himself. Maybe if Light wasn't such a shitty boyfriend, this whole thing could play out in a way in which Misa and him were happy together.
Maybe.
His thoughts were then interrupted by Light speaking, "Ryuzaki, I'm going to bed."
L didn't bother to respond to him, he just kept looking forward to the cameras, not wanting to speak to him.
"Ryuzaki, did you hear me? I'm going to bed. You can go to bed as well, if you want." Light sounded annoyed having to repeat himself, but L knew he deserved it. It was, in a way, how he treated Misa: Ignoring her and not giving a response until he needed to, and the response being a short, heartless one.
"Hmm? Oh, yes. Goodnight, Light." No emotion at all, just a 'Goodnight, Light.' A bit rude, yes. But he didn't care what he thought about what he was saying to him. He'd tell him to fuck off if he could. Again, this was a taste of his own medicine, too.
Light didn't say anything else, he just made a sound, indicating that he was fed up and he left.
Finally. He was gone. L thought, grabbing a sweet from his tray that was brought to him earlier, popping it into his mouth.
This was good for his focus as well. Easier to focus without Light lurking over his shoulder like a hawk, watching its prey, waiting to strike. But the strike was, 'I'm not Kira, Ryuzaki!'
Or hearing him and Misa argue earlier in the night. Something that he wasn't too concerned with. Ok, maybe he did eavesdrop a little bit, out of curiosity. He had heard enough of their bickering and arguments to know it was usually about spending time together, or about what they're going to do after Kira is caught.
Earlier that night, though, it was about their dates. And how Light didn't make enough time for their dates.
'Maybe I could take you on a date, Misa.'
Whenever Misa and Light discussed it, he always wanted to be the one on the date with her. Treating her to a nice dinner or movie, the way she desired and deserved. This was something Light didn't try hard enough to do. But L would do it. He'd love to take her on a date, even if the place they were going to wasn't good.
He just wanted to spend time with her. One on one. No Light. No Kira investigation. Just the two of them. It is but a fantasy, sadly. He had to remind himself that.