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You were sitting on the roof of one of the buildings in Jujutsu Tech, staring into the sky without any thoughts. A deep sigh escaped your lips as you wrapped your arms around your knees and laid you chin on them. "So unfair.", you murmured and sniffed. You only could imagine how red and swollen your eyes were and you didn't want to know how your face looked like in general.
Normally you weren't like this. Normally you always had a smile on your face and Gojo even discribed you as a walking sunshine, which Yuuji agreed with strongly while he was giving you his best smile.
Yuuji... his name made your dam break once again and you felt thick tears running down your cheeks, damping your arms under your chin. A cool night-breeze hugged your body and you shivered a little bit. Maybe you should have brought a jacket with you when you decided to go outside after you've woken up from a nightmare. You cursed yourself for letting this bad dream get the best of you. Actually, you were one of the lucky people who were getting nightmares very rarely and you were very thankful for this. But when nightmares came, they came hard and brutal and mercilessly, showing you the worst sides of curses and even humanity. But his time, now, it wasn't about a big curse eating you or something like that. This time it was about Yuuji....
And his execution.
You saw him kneeling on the floor in a room without windows nor doors, the walls filled with curse-letters to trap Sukuna, Gojo standing in front of him without his infamous smile on his lips. "NO!", you screamed, trying to get to Yuuji but something has gotten a hold of your ankle. "Gojo-sensei! There must be another way! Another way to get Sukuna out of Yuuji! Please! Think about this! PLEASE!", but it seemed like your words didn't reach the two men. As if you weren't there. As if you weren't even in this room. You watched as Gojo lifted one of his hands and Yuuji closed his eyes, preparing himself to enter the afterlife. "NOOOOO!"
"Hey, what are you doing up there, Y/N?", you winced as you heard Yuuji's voice from behind you and you turned your head a little bit to take a glimpse of the young man, who was standing there, wearing his pajama shorts and a shirt with a penguin on it. He looked tired, still sleepy, as if he just woke up. "Are you okay?"
"Huh?", was all that was coming from you and you retreated your face back into your arms on your knees. "Y-Yeah... I'm good, Yuuji, go back to sleep."
"Ehh... you don't sound very good.", the concern in his voice made your heartbeat faster and you tightened your grip around your legs. "Hey... are you sure you are okay?"
You felt a warm hand on your shoulder and you could hear him sitting down beside you, his hand never leaving. "Come on, Y/N, I can see that something is very wrong. Did something happen?"
Gods, the last thing you wanted to do, was to make him worry about you when he was the one getting executed once he ate all of Sukuna's fingers. So, you shook your head and wiped away the tears from your face. "I'm fine, really."
"I don't believe you."
"Well...", you stammered and sighed. "That's your problem, then, isn't it?
"Ah, don't pretend to be Megumi! Just tell me what happened! I wanna help you!", he said louder and grabbed your shoulder a little harder. You gulped and shook your head but his last words triggered you. He told you multiple times that he wanted to help and save as much people as he can. He couldn't help it, he was like this. So, you sighed deeply and finally looked directly at him. His eyes widened a bit when he saw your red and swollen eyes and he went in for a hug, wrapping his strong arms around your shoulders and pulling you against his chest. His warmth embraced you like sunlight, you felt protected... but vulnerable. You didn't want Yuuji seeing you like that, so you tried to push yourself away from him, only to get pressed further against him. His arms left no escape for you.
"What happened?", he asked softly. You mumbled incoherently into his chest. He felt your tears soaking his shirt and he laid one of his hands at the back of your head, stroking your hair. "What was that?"
"I don't want you to die.", you finally said and looked up to him. "I had a nightmare about you getting executed and I.... I tried to stop it but I-I couldn't and then.... Yuuji, I can't. I just can't.", you sobbed harder and buried your face back into his chest as he tightened his hold around you. "And I'm feeling so selfish right now."
"Why that?", his words were soft and calm.
"I shouldn't burden you with that. I'm sorry.", your voice was cracking but you still tried to control it and you managed to push yourself out of his hug and got on your feet. "I... I am going to bed now.... you should, too. Good night, Yuuji."
"Oi, oi!", he almost shouted and you feared it might have woken up someone. Yuuji's hand grabbed your wrist and stopped you from leaving. "Do you really think I just leave you alone crying by yourself? NO! I won't do that!", he turned you around and laid both his hands on your cheeks, wiping the tears away. "Listen, I don't want to die neither but when it saves those people I care about a lot, then I am willing to do it."
"But there must be another way, Yuuji!"
"Maybe, but this way must still be found, then, Y/N. And besides, how does crying about the future help, huh? Try to enjoy the present, the now! Right now, I am still here, right now I am here with you. And as long as I'm here, I won't leave you. No matter what.", with every word he said his voice grew more insistent as if he was trying to awake you from another nightmare. You looked at him and sniffed, then you just crushed yourself into him and without hesitation he wrapped his arms around you.
"I don't want to lose you.", you cried and buried your face in the bend of his neck. You felt him shaking and hugged him tighter, letting not empty space between the two of you. "There is another way, I just know it. There has to be."
"Maybe.", he whispered and looked up to the sky for a moment before burying his face in your hair, taking in your smell which always calmed him down. "But as long as I have you and the others, all of it is worth it."
For a couple of minutes you stayed like this. Entangled in each other’s arms, feeling each other’s heartbeat. The chilly breeze seemed to have become cooler, your legs were starting to get cold, since you were only wearing shorts and your hands on his back began to feel a bit numb. While your body was adopting the cold, Yuuji seemed to have an inner heater inside his body since it was almost burning. You felt his warm hands wandering down your back and hiding under your top to touch your skin and he almost gasped as he felt how cold your skin was.
“Woah.”, he said and looked at you worried. “You’re turning into a freezer.”
“Well, I was always cold on the inside, sooo.”, you sniffed with a little laugh and a smile formed on his lips as he shook his head.
“You are practically my sunshine, so no. We should go back inside anyways. Your room or mine?”
“What?”, you stammered and felt you cheeks heating up. “N-No, I mean, well…”
“I won’t leave you alone this night, Y/N”, he said sternly and looked at you with an expression that won’t let you deny him. “I don’t want you to get into another nightmare about me being… Well, you know, so I want to be by your side.”
“I should be the one helping you…” you whispered and looked down to your feet. He took your chin in his warm hand and lifted your face back to him.
“But you are helping me. Everyday you smile at me, every time you make me my favorite food, every time you hug me or let me play with your hair. You do so much for me. You are one of the reasons, I get up everyday to train and to fight to make this world a better place. Because I can’t bare the thought of leaving you in a place full of dangers. I love you, Y/N, please never forget that. And because you make me feel so good, let me at least help you go back to sleep.”
You were speechless as he rambled and stared into your eyes. He took a hold of your hand and led you two back inside, already decided that you two would spend the night in his dorm.
As you entered through the door, you look at the big poster above his bed. It was a poster of the two of you with him sitting on a dark-green bench and you on his lap, holding ice-cream in your left hand while your right arm was wrapped around his neck. He took a selfie with his right hand, his left one laying around your middle. Surprise was shown on your face because he bit a part of your ice-cream and winked while doing so directly into the camera, the busy street blurry behind you. You spent this day in Tokyo, when Gojo took you two, Megumi and Nobara with him to destroy a curse and after that was done Yuuji had the idea of staying and begged you to accompany him. Gojo was already gone and Nobara was eager for a shopping-trip, taking Megumi with her to carry her many bags.
It was a beautiful day, really. A core memory of yours.
“Alright, there you go.”, Yuuji said and gave you his plush panda that smelled like him. Immediately you pressed it against your chest and wiped your face again, since further tears were coming out of your eyes. “Awww, darliiiiing, don’t cryyyy.”, you laughed at his whining and you laughed a little more as he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.
A gasp escaped your lips as he threw the both of you on his bed, one of his arms laying the blanket over your entangled bodies. You laid your head on his shoulder and took in his smell. He kissed your head and nuzzled your head with his.
“I love you.”, you whispered after a few moments and lifted your head to kiss him on the cheek.
“I love you, too.”, he responded and closed his eyes, while inhaling your scent. “Don’t worry too much about what might come, okay?”
“I can’t promise you to stop thinking about this, Yuuji.”
“Then promise me to come to me when you feel this way again, ya? I can’t bear the thought of you sitting alone and panicking about that. So, if you need to cry, just… just come to me, okay? Please.”, his voice was filled with several emotions and you could feel the tears building up again but also tiredness slowly made its way through you.
You nodded lightly. “Okay, I promise.”
“That’s my girl.”, he kissed you again. “You know what? Tomorrow, I’ll make you breakfast in bed, how does that sound?”
“Please not, Yuuji.”, you laughed and could almost feel his semi-hurt expression. “Last time you wanted to cook for me, Nobara almost killed you for setting the kitchen on fire.”
“Ahhh, that was an accident.”
“I know, Yuuji, and that’s why you should never cook on your own.”
He nudged your head and you chuckled as he wrapped both his arms tightly around your body, sharing his warmth with you. “You won’t lose me, you hear? Not now and not tomorrow. Let’s enjoy this right now. Don’t think about anything but this here.”
“I’m living this moment.”, you said calmly and felt that you were about to doze off, Yuuji not feeling any different.
“Good.”, he yawned and a few seconds later you heard him snoring softly and smiled.
You were living this moment, you felt him. His body wrapped around yours, his breathing on your neck, his snoring echoing through the room, his warmth fighting away the cold that was still lingering on some body parts of yours. You felt everything of him. But still. You feared the future and what it might hold for you. You feared that one day he might never come back to you.