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“Hey… Can you hear me?”
Hajime slowly opened his eyes to the sound of a mans voice. He could feel random objects poking at his back and… dear God, what was that smell? He blinked a bit and focused forward. Looming above him was a young man with fluffy white hair and a green hoodie. The man- really more of a boy- continued.
“Are you ok? You seem pretty out of it…”
Hajime started to sit up, the surface he was on shifting. “I- yeah, I think I’m ok… where am I?”
The other boy scratched his head. “That’s the thing, none of us can remember. We were hoping you knew how we got here. Here, let’s get you up.” The boy took Hajime’s hand and helped him to his feet. When Hajime looked behind him, he saw his outline on a pile of trash bags. So that explains the smell… “I’m sorry, did you say us?”
“GOOOOOD NOM-NOM-NOMMING!” A girl with pink and blue hair horns popped out of the dumpster beside him, causing Hajime to jump and stumble into the white haired boy. The boy looked flustered for a moment, then glared at the dumpster girl. “Scaring the new guy? Not cool, Ibuki.” The girl-presumably Ibuki- pouted. “Awwwww, cmon Nagito! I was just having some fun! Sorry, new guy. What’s your name?”
Hajime extended his hand for a shake. “My name is Hajime Hinata. Uh...nice to meet you.”
Ibuki looked at his hand, and in a flash, bit down. “AAAAAH! What the hell? You broke the skin!!” Hajime shouted after yanking back his hand. Ibuki crawled out of the dumpster and stood in front of him. Before she could bite him again, the boy pulled Hajime aside. “I’m sorry about that, she’s a little… much. Why don’t we fix up that hand? Mikaaaaan! We need your help!” After he called that out, a girl with purple hair rushed out from behind a rusted truck with gauze and a spray bottle of disinfectant. “I-I’m sorry I took so long! Umm- is it o-ok if I treat that?”
Hajime tilted his head. She took 5 seconds. .Yeah, you can treat that. Thanks.”
“Oh-ok! Sorry, this w-will sting a b-bit.”
Mikan spritzed disinfectant onto the wound and quickly wrapped it in gauze. She gave a meek smile. “That should do it. If it’s ok with you, may I please ask your name?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m Hajime Hinata. Nice to meet you.”
Mikan froze. “It’s nice to meet me?” She started crying. “N-nobody’s ever said that and meant it… you don’t have to lie…”
Hajime panicked. “No no no! I’m not lying! It really is nice meeting you-“
“Oh, he’s definitely lying.” A young girl wearing a kimono seemed to materialize right next to them. “There’s no way anyone would enjoy meeting such a gross pile of pig barf.”
“Kyaaaaa! T-That’s the worst kind of pig barf!”
Hajime looked to Nagito for help. Nagito just shrugged and pulled him away from the fighting girls.
“That’s Hiyoko Sayonji. She’s… not the nicest person.”
No kidding… Hajime thought. “So, is that everyone?”
“Well… it’s probably better if I show you. Everyone! I’m not going to call you one at a time! Come out!”
Appearing out of nowhere, eleven people were suddenly in front of Hajime.
“Alright everyone! I’m pretty sure we all already know each other, but Hajime here just woke up, so let’s get in a circle and introduce ourselves.”
They formed a misshapen circle, excluding Hiyoko, Ibuki, and Mikan, who were talking by a dumpster.
“I’ll go first.” The fluffy haired boy stepped forward. “I’m Nagito Komaeda. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier.”
“It’s fine.” Hajime gave a small smile.
Nagito smiled back. “Ok, since you’re next in the circle…” He trailed off, looking at a rather chonky man.
“Yes, yes, I know. My name’s Byakuya Togami.”
“Togami?” Hajime asked.
“I take it you’ve heard of my family.”
“How could I not have? You’re on the news for being even richer at least once a month.”
Byakuya blushed. “Tch, that sort of publicity is irritating, but inevitable.”
“Ooh! A celebrity! Would you need a personal chef? Or a male escort, perhaps?” A short, chubby man with a nosebleed ran up to Byakuya.
“I- I have a team of chefs in my mansion and a boyfriend. I don’t need either of those services.”
“But do you want those services? Teruteru Hanamura, by the way.”
Byakuya scowled. “No!”
Rejected, Teruteru turned to Hajime. “What about you? You look like you might desire some meat.”
Hajime felt his soul descend to Hell just from hearing that. “Wha- I- No!”
“Yeah, pervert! Nobody wants you!” A redhead girl with a camera scolded Teruteru, hands on her hips. She stopped glaring to smile at Hajime. “I’m Mahiru Koizumi. I’m counting on you from now on.” She glanced over to the girl next to her. “Your turn.”
The grey haired girl nodded. “My name is Peko Pekoyama.”
Hajime waited for her to continue. She didn’t.
“You gonna respond, bastard?” A babyfaced boy stared daggers at him.
“...Yeah? I just wasn’t sure if she was done talking. Nice to meet you, Peko.” Hajime turned to the babyface. “And you are…?”
“Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu. Just so we’re clear, I’m not gonna act all friendly and shit with you guys.”
“K-Kuzuryu?! As in-“
“Yeah, yeah, the Kuzuryu Clan. Can you calm the fuck down?”
“S-sorry, I just… Aren’t you a little young for the Yakuza?”
Fuyuhiko started to stomp over to Hajime. “Oh, you better take that back, you bastard!”
“Whoawhoawhoa, calm down please I’m sorry!”
Fuyuhiko stood in front of Hajime, furious. He was so blinded by rage, however, he failed to notice that Hajime was almost a foot taller than him. Hajime put his hands out in a placating stance.
“I’m sorry ok! You just- well, you kinda- ok you have a-“
“Better spit it out while you still have teeth!”
Before Hajime could brace himself, Fuyuhiko swung back for a punch, launched his tiny fist forward, and was scooped up off the ground by a hulking man wearing chains.
“What the fuck- put me down!” Fuyuhiko squirmed in the mans grip.
The man grunted. “Not until you agree to calm down! I can’t have any infighting on my team!”
Fuyuhiko struggled a bit more, but soon surrendered. “Fine, I’ll calm down. Now let me go!”
The man smiled. “Alright!” He gently released Fuyuhiko, who muttered curses under his breath before walking back next to Peko.
“Sorry about that, but we can’t be fighting before we even know each other! Speaking of which, I’m Nekomaru Nidai! Nice to meet you!”
“Yknow, that was pretty impressive, Nekomaru!” An, er, well endowed girl complimented.
“Not really, he’s tiny!”
“I’M NOT TINY!” Fuyuhiko shouted.
Hajime raised his hand. “I’m sorry, but can we please slow down? Now you,” He said as he turned to the girl, “What’s your name?”
“Oh right! Name’s Akane Owari. Nice to meetchya!”
“Nice to meet you too. Now, please raise your hand if you’re part of an important family so I don’t react weird again.”
A blonde girl in a Snow White-esque dress raised her hand.
“My name is Sonia Nevermind. Has anyone seen my security detail?”
Hajime tilted his head slightly. “Security detail? Even Byakuya doesn’t even have one of those-right?” Byakuya nodded, so Hajime continued. “Why do you need security?”
“I am the Princess of the Novoselic Kingdom.” Sonia smiled. “My family is here on a diplomatic mission.”
A boy with pink hair immediately knelt down in front of her. “It is an honor, Miss Sonia! I’m Kazuichi Soda, and your word is my command!”
“I’m sorry, but isn’t that a little extreme? You just met her. Ah, no disrespect, Sonia!” Nagito rubbed the back of his neck.
“None taken, Nagito.”
Kazuichi sputtered to explain himself, only to be interrupted by a man with a scarf.
“Kehehe! It is quite obvious that you lust for the she-cat.” He made a dramatic pose. “My name is Gundham Tanaka! Remember it well.”
“Wha- I don’t lust!!!”
Sonia’s eyes lit up. “It is a pleasure!”
Gundham and Sonia walked over to the side and began chatting. It was only then that Hajime had noticed that everyone else had split into smaller groups as well. Everyone except Nagito, who was standing next to Hajime, and a girl in a cat hoodie. She was playing something on her phone, eyes fixed on the screen.
“Um… hi. I’m Hajime Hinata.” He said. The girl kept playing.
“Hello?” Nagito tried, but the girl played on. This went on for a minute, until the reflection in her eyes darkened. “Hmm… out of juice.” She looked up. “I’m Chiaki Nanami.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Hajime.”
“Yeah, you said that earlier… I think.” She gave a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Hajime was about to reply when Byakuya cleared his throat. “Are introductions over? Now that those are out of the way,” His glasses glinted as he adjusted them, “let’s figure out what’s going on.”