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The thin envelope in his hands probably contains only a couple of handwritten paper pieces.Yet Minseok has been waiting for those pages like a lost man in the desert would wait for rain. Eagerly, as if his life depended on it.
Now, the only thing between him and the most awaited moment of the week are the stairs to his bedroom...and a voice.
"I thought we were very clear about what kind of relationship we expect you to maintain with the Duke's son" - Minseok's mother, the Queen, took him out of his thoughts with his comment. Her wry expression was even sharper than her words. "I told you, my son, there are..better suitors for you out there. You shouldn't settle for just a nice smile and a few acres of land"
Nice smile? , Minseok scoffed mentally, more like a smile that could blind the Sun. "Mother", he greeted her politely despite her words. "We are merely friends, and nothing more. I believe that a good relationship with the soon to-be-Duke could be beneficial for me when I sit on the throne." - he lied. After hours and days practicing this particular lie Minseok is able to say those very words with the straightest face. He resented them, but they are necessary until the crown lies atop of his head.
"I hope it is like that", his mother replied with a cocked brow. "I wouldn't want to start reading your mail."
In a heartbeat, Minseok offered the envelope to his mother. The tension grew palpable in the air, the hall where they were talking suddenly felt smaller. "Please, Mother, if you feel the need to do it, be my guest"
His mother scoffed. "Stop this theatre!" - her rising voice echoed in the hall. "You know your place, don't embarrass me." - her heels resonated against the marble floors, and Minseok watched the small woman leave. She had tried to ruin his moment, but with Jongdae's letter still on his hand there's no one able to sink his spirits and good mood. As soon as the figure of his mother was lost, Minseok's smile came back and he bolted to his room, the only place private enough to read his mail.
Minseok knows that his mother already reads his mail. One of the oldest butlers is in charge of opening every letter addressed to him as delicately and precise like a surgeon would operate a heart. But, none of them, nor his mother, would find anything at all inside the letters. They talk about sweet nothings, their other friends, their families, an occasional trip, and things like that. Unharmful, pretty boring even. They never talk about their future, they never share a single line about their feelings.
And they don't need to. Cause the real message is on the outside, not inside, the envelope.
A beautiful lilac wax seal closed the envelope with Jongdae's family emblem on it, as usual. But the color, the color told Minseok everything he needed to know. Last week's wax seal was a deep ocean blue, a color that sends not only regards and good wishes, but the deepest of affections. However, this lilac means something completely different: "I miss you"
Minseok beamed, from the corners of his lips to his eyes, the purest smile and a loud enamoured heartbeat to go with it. He doesn't enjoy the fact that Jongdae misses him - Minseok doesn't enjoy missing Jongdae either - but the fact that he does miss him means that he has a place in his heart. And there's no greater pleasure than to know that the person you love loves you back.
It's a bittersweet mixture of feelings, both of them are aware of it, so they have learnt to savour the little sweet moments. Even if it means staring at a wax seal on an envelope.
Minseok remembers the day they started communicating through the wax seals. It is simple, and it doesn't allow them to share complex thoughts, but for now it's enough. For now it's all they have. Jongdae designed the color scheme and its meanings, and the last time they saw each other he handed Minseok a small cheat sheet. Without that anyone would think that the color change is a mere aesthetic thing, the perfect fraud.
The haste settled in his heart didn't prevent Minseok to dive through Jongdae's words with care. Even if he wrote about his cousin or about a equestrian competition every sentence meant a step closer for his heart. After reading the very last word, Minseok sighed. He has to reply, and he might not be sure of the words yet, but he is sure of what seal he is going to use.
This time, with the royal house crest plastered on the center, Minseok melted and carefully placed the white wax. White is a promise, white means future. White will gracefully carry Minseok's deepest wish: both of them together in a not too far away reality.