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Bakugou Katsuki is the least person you expect to be in a state that he is currently, hand inches away from knocking on Izuku Midoriya's dorm room in the middle of the night (1:20 AM to be exact) with hints of dried tears on his cheeks. He silently curses at himself, why did he come here again? Why did he think he deserved some kind of comfort from someone he's been treating wrong this whole time?
Although him and Midoriya starting to build the friendship they used to have all over again for a while now and followed with an early romantic relationship, it only makes Bakugou feel shittier than before. It was years spent by him bullying Deku and yet when he asked for another chance to fix what he has done, a redemption of some sort, Deku accepted right then and there? Bakugou didn't understand that a bit.
Deku even explain how hurt he was and yet he accepted? And since then Bakugou's mind is filled with past events of him hurting Deku over and over and over again, and maybe the worst memory of them all is when Bakugou DARES to tell him to jump off the roof during middle school when he insisted to register for UA High School.
Maybe they are different now, they grow up from those memories but does Bakugou really change? He still call Midoriya that awful nickname and his other friends too, he still thriving to be the No.1 Hero and didn't that mean he will do anything including hurting yet other people?
“Fuck” He curses silently, leaning his head on Deku's door and that when he feels yet another batch of tears ready to fall gracefully from his eyes. He decided to just leave this for himself to deal with, but as he lifted his head and about to turn around to take his leave, Midoriya's door opened and there's the view of him looking pretty and very much sleepy.
“Hm..” He take his time to rub his eyes to clear out the view. “Kacchan? Is there something wrong?” His sleepy face has turned into a full concern as he notices the tears on Bakugou's face.
Did Katsuki think straight when he come inside Deku's room, closing the door, and hug the green haired boy so tightly that there's no stopping his tears or sob to let themselves out? Did Katsuki even think at all during that? No, it happened so fast that even Izuku was flustered and confused.
But regardless, he wrapped his arms around Katsuki and shoo his sobs away. Whispering little comfort while holding his own tears to fall. Seeing his best friend and current lover in such a broken state is upsetting and stomach turning for him but for now he need to be able to hold Katsuki with care.
It took a while before Bakugou calmed down, trying to stabilize his ragged breathing, Deku also help with stroking his back. Finally, Bakugou able to lifted his head and look at Deku's beautiful emerald eyes. Deku's hands wiped his cheeks gently,
“It's not fair that you still look good after crying, Kacchan” Deku softly exclaimed, earning a little smile from Bakugou. Truly what a waste of time for him to bully such a precious person like Deku. He also send a smile back, tilting his head out of habit before asking,
“What's wrong?” It was quiet but not quiet enough for Bakugou to not hear.
“I'm a jerk” Katsuki answers with a little laugh without any humor hinted behind it. Katsuki was not finished, Deku knew so he decided to stay silent and wait for him to continue.
“I know that you forgave me but I don't know if I can forgive myself. Why? Why did you easily give in and let me have another chance? Did you forget all the awful things I did and still fucking did until now? Why aren't you mad at me? Fucking punch me or anything in return of those explosions I did on you, be fucking disappointed, disgusted, anything! I did not fucking deserve you, Deku” Bakugou said the last sentence with a higher tone before choking on another sob that forces itself to come out.
The hands that was wiping Bakugou's tears start to brush his spiky hair instead before turning to hold his face softly.
“Kacchan, can you look at me” A simple request from Deku that Bakugou hesitate to do at first but he did anyway ignoring current messy look. Midoriya give him such a simple smile that still make the flowers in his heart blossom, once again, he did not deserve such a sunshine.
“Kacchan.. I saw how you have improved as a future hero and as a person. You are much brighter, lovely, and overall a better person compared to who are in the past. I see it with my own eyes! You.. you become a person that I want to spend my days, weeks, months, even years with. I would never want to miss every single moment that I got to spend with you. The past might haunt us from time to time and so what? I want to live this present and future with this Kacchan who cares about his friends, would sacrifice himself for others, proud of himself, and able to be vulnerable because that is the one trait that I will always treasure about your improvement. I'm so proud of you”
Those words are forever recorded inside Bakugou's head, he will never forget how the person he's thought he hate, jealous of, and pity became one of the greatest person he has crossed path with.
The rest of the night spent with them hugging, confessions was thrown out like it was nothing but these kind of nights is what they love the most. Nothing but honesty is said and all that is matter, the communication between two lovebirds and making sure the other person wouldn't give up on the relationship they worked so hard to build.
They will forever be grateful of each other company, the butterflies in their stomach wouldn't be happy anyway if they fly over someone else's words.