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“Alexander?”
Alec’s head snaps up to where Magnus stands in the doorway of his bedroom, leaning against the frame and regarding Alec with a slow smile. Alec startles and, in his moment of panic, slams the laptop that he’d had opened in front of him shut with enough force that he has to genuinely hope it isn’t cracked. He winces anyway, even more so for the way Magnus’ smile drops to be replaced with a frown.
“...Is everything okay?” Magnus asks carefully, his eyes flickering from Alec’s face to where Alec’s hand rests guardedly on top of the closed laptop.
“Alexander?”
“I’m good.” Alec croaks, aware as he says it how unconvincing he sounds even to his own ears. Magnus doesn’t believe him, obviously, hesitating just a few more seconds before he pulls himself up and begins walking towards Alec. Almost subconsciously, Alec’s grip on the laptop tightens as he pulls it closer to his body. Magnus doesn’t miss the action, “Alec-”
“It’s nothing.” Alec insists, his face heating up. He lowers his gaze to avoid having to meet Magnus’, “I just… I was reading.”
“You were reading.” Magnus repeats blandly, and then almost hesitantly, asks, “...Reading what?”
Alec blinks at him.
“A… website.”
Magnus stares at Alec as though he is a wild animal that he doesn’t quite know how to approach, and Alec can practically see the many questions being formed behind those steady, curious eyes that pin Alec to his spot even as he desperately wants to flee.
“Alexander.” Magnus asks after a long silence has passed, not before Alec begins to think that he may actually manage to set himself on fire if his face burns any hotter, “Are you watching porn?”
Alec jumps up from the bed, discarding the laptop as though it has burned him, “NO. No. I mean. No. I’m not- Magnus-”
“It’s not a bad thing if you are, Alexa-”
“But I’m not!” Alec insists, horrified, “I don’t- I wouldn’t-”
“I promise I won’t be upset if-”
“Magnus.” Alec pleads, squeezing his eyes shut as his head falls into his hands, “I wasn’t watching- I wasn’t doing that.”
He doesn’t look at Magnus again, can’t bring himself to as the silence settles around them in an awkwardness he is unfamiliar with when it comes to his boyfriend. He turns, his face heating up as he thinks of what he was actually doing, and he thinks about telling Magnus just to dispel any concerns he has but the mere thought of forming those words leave him wanting to throw himself off of a cliff.
“You look like the kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.” Magnus muses, and Alec wonders if he really has to wait until he tries to explain what he was doing to take the ‘jumping off of a cliff’ option; taking it now doesn’t actually seem like too bad of an idea.
“I won’t pressure you into telling me what you were doing, Alexander.” Magnus assures him, and Alec feels the soft touch of Magnus fingers against his wrist, pulling gently until Alec’s hands are no longer blocking the view of his face. Still, Alec can’t bring himself to look at Magnus, and he keeps his eyes determinedly downwards until Magnus urges them up with a hand to his chin, “Alexander.”
The flicker of doubt in Magnus’ eyes makes Alec’s chest ache. He doesn’t think that Magnus has any reasons to doubt his faithfulness, but even the minor possibility that he could has Alec wanting to fix everything.
“Can you…” He motions with his hands until Magnus lets him go. Alec immediately misses his touch but moves towards the laptop. He hesitates, his face burning knowing exactly what he’s about to do and dreading it. But this Magnus, he reminds himself. His Magnus.
He pushes the laptop into Magnus’ hands before he can convince himself not to, and he receives a slightly panicked look in response, “Alec-”
“Open it.”
“It’s your laptop, Alexander. If whatever you were doing is something you wish to remain private then I-”
“Magnus.” Alec interrupts , his cheeks flushed as he glances away again, “I just- just open it.”
He can feel Magnus’ eyes on him even as the laptop opens slowly, the faint glow of light from its screen reflecting onto Magnus as he types in the password that he knows because he’s the one who’d put it on. Alec wants, very much, to be anywhere but here at this moment. A feeling that is only increased in the long stretch of quiet that ensues as Magnus takes in the page Alec had last been on before he’d been caught.
He risks a peek, after Magnus has been silent for a couple of minutes, to find his boyfriend staring at the screen with wide, disbelieving eyes. Oh god, Alec thinks, already hating himself. Oh god he hates me, he thinks it’s disturbing, he-
“Alec. Darling, I can hear your thoughts spiraling.”
“I shouldn’t have… this is nothing, ignore it-”
“Alec-”
“Please, can we just… It’s nothing.”
“Nothing isn’t exactly the word I would use, but-”
“I was just… I just thought…”
But Alec can’t say it. Magnus was never meant to find out about this. What had he even been doing? Looking for this stuff? What was he thinking-
“Alec.” Magnus calls his attention once again. He places the laptop back onto the bed and steps closer, cradling Alec’s face between his hands, “Alec, I’m not upset.”
And-
Oh.
“You’re… not?”
"I shouldn't have kept you waiting." Magnus says apologetically, "But no. I was just surprised. I thought it was one of those pesky ads at first, not something you'd been looking for yourself-" Magnus trails off as he notices Alec's embarrassment bubbling to the surface again, and he is quick to continue in a reassuring tone, “I'm not upset Alec. Actually, I’m quite the opposite. There are fewer greater pleasures in life than coming home after a long, quite exhausting session with too many terrible clients, to find that your boyfriend has been researching sex toys in your absence.”
Magnus sounds delighted as he recalls this information. Thrilled.
And it maybe should make Alec breathe easier, but he’d been so caught up in thinking that Magnus would turn away from him in disgust that all he can muster up is, “Oh.”
Magnus grins salaciously, “Alexander. You can’t have possibly thought that I’d be upset?”
And now Alec feels a bit dumb, “No. I just. It’s not like you’ve ever… you know. Mentioned stuff like… like this.”
Magnus huffs out a breath of amusement, “In my defense my love, you were a virgin a few months ago. I’m easing you into things.”
Alec tries to look away again to hide his reaction to that, but Magnus’ grip on his face is insistent, “Magnus-”
“Is this something you’re interested in?” Magnus asks seriously, searching his face to pick up his every reaction, “Something you actually want to do? Or was it just mere curiosity?”
Alec chews at his bottom lip and tries to think through the haze of embarrassment clouding his brain at the moment- the one that wants to say ‘just curiosity’ and have him and Magnus move on to literally anything else.
But… he casts a glance at the laptop. Remembers the way he’d felt scrolling through the website. Remembers thinking about Magnus using one of those on him-
“Hm.” Magnus says, thoughtfully.
Alec snaps back to himself, his gaze re-focusing to find Magnus regarding him with a knowing smirk.
“Oh this is going to be so much fun.” Magnus murmurs. He traces his thumb along Alec’s lips, tugging gently from where it had been caught between his teeth. Alec feels that familiar stirring sensation he’s come to associate with being alone with Magnus, but when he leans in closer Magnus only pulls away and drops his hands, reaching to pick up the laptop again.
Alec stares, blinks at him, “Magnus-”
“You didn’t think you were getting out of this conversation that easily, did you?” Magnus teases. He sits, and before Alec can think to complain, tugs at his hand until Alec is sitting down next to him on the bed. Magnus angles the laptop so that Alec can see the screen too, though Alec has no idea why. Was the fact that he was being made to carry out this conversation not enough? Did they have to look at it too?
“How much do you know about this stuff?” Magnus asks neutrally, and suddenly Alec is happy for the laptop being open in front of him because it means he has an excuse not to acknowledge the fact that Magnus is looking at him.
“Not much?” Alec admits, flushed both for the fact that they’re actually talking about this and the recognition of his lack of experience. Something he’d been hoping to fix before Magnus found out.
Magnus probes, “Not much as in…”
“As in this is the first time I’ve ever… I mean, I knew stuff like this existed, but I… I’ve never really seen it.” Alec forces the words out, and realizes that it maybe isn’t that bad if he avoids too many details, “I don’t... Magnus, before you I never really… I have like no experience in this stuff so I was just trying to… I was out with Jace earlier and we walked past this store and he mentioned that they sold stuff like this and it made me think and I just… I don’t know. I wanted to know more about it.”
“I’m delighted that you felt comfortable enough in my apartment to come here with this.”
“Well.” Alec huffs, cheeks blazing, “I wasn’t about to do this at the Institute.”
“No I suppose not.” Magnus chuckles, “How far did you get into your… research?”
‘Research’ Alec thinks, is way too dignified a word given their topic of discussion. But okay.
“Just this page.” He says, motioning to it with a jerk of his hand, “There’s… a lot.”
“Oh darling,” Magnus breathes, gold green eyes twinkling as they watch him, “You have no idea. There’s so much more.”
“These are dildos.” Magnus says, so casually and unaware of the turmoil Alec faces at the sound of these words being spoken aloud, “They’re fairly common. Some of them even vibrate.”
Alec’s breath catches in his throat. Magnus’ grin widens, “I have one.”
“You do?” Alec asks, realizing as he says it that this isn’t that surprising? But still-
“Well, I have several.” Magnus admits, “Different sizes, colors. Strengths-”
“Magnus-”
“And not just dildos.” Magnus continues, “There are so many different toys I can’t wait to try with you, if you’d be into that.”
I am, Alec wants to say. I am into that. So into that.
“Like… Like what?” He asks, licking at his lips that have suddenly gone dry.
Magnus places the laptop onto the bed next to them, “Like… stuff you can wear discreetly. Under your clothes. Maybe when we go out for dinner, or when you have to sit through one of those dreadfully boring clave meetings. Like a butt plug.”
“Butt plugs?” Alec interrupts, his face heating up with just the words and getting even worse for the slow, suggestive smile Magnus gives him in response.
“Butt plugs.” Magnus confirms, “Does that one sound interesting?”
“I-” interesting was certainly one word for it, Alec thought, his brain conjuring up all sorts of images, “I-”
Magnus seems to sense his distress, his smile dropping a little to be replaced with a cautious expression as he reaches out to graze his fingertips against Alec’s cheek, “Of course, Alexander,” He says reassuringly, “We don’t have to do any of this. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”
“We aren’t.” Alec insists, because Magnus thinking that he isn’t comfortable is the very last thing Alec wants, even if he is a little… confused, “I want everything with you.”
“Then-”
“I just- wouldn’t that… wouldn’t it hurt? ” Alec asks, and he thinks that he should just stop trying to fight the way his cheeks turn an even darker shade of red with every single word; it’s clearly not working. Magnus gives him a patient smile, his touch a soothing presence against Alec’s arm, “No, not if you’re properly prepared.”
Still- Alec can’t imagine any amount of preparation making this not hurt. But he trusts Magnus -of course he does- and Magnus would never hurt him. Besides, Magnus clearly has way more experience with stuff like this than Alec had ever dreamed of having.
“And people do this?” He finds himself asking anyway, further clarification necessary as his brain tries to wrap itself around the concept of what Magnus is proposing, “And… it feels good?”
Magnus is laughing now, his shoulders shaking as he tries to hold himself back from laughing too much, which Alec appreciates even as it makes him blush harder.
“Yes, Alexander.” He promises, his eyes sparkling, “It feels… different, the first time you do it. But once you get used to it, it’s… it feels very good.”
Alec’s frown deepens, his face scrunching up as he tries, and fails, to imagine the mechanics of how this would work. He’s positive this is some kind of Mundane thing, they’re so weird. But how are Mundanes apparently shoving plugs up their ass without some kind of magical intervention?
“I don’t understand.” Alec admits, berating himself for not knowing something that is clearly common knowledge. But it’s not his fault- there’s no way Magnus is being serious.
Suddenly, Alec starts to feel like he’s being pranked. Is Magnus messing with him?
“What part don’t you understand?” Magnus asks, and he sounds sincere. And Magnus wouldn’t make fun of him for something like this. Right?
“I-” Alec splutters incredulously, “That doesn’t make any sense? I mean, even the way that they’re shaped- how would they even fit? And-”
His hands flail sharply around him, to further convey his confusion, before they drop to his sides in defeat. He stares at Magnus in hopes of an explanation that will piece together the scattered puzzle of this picture he’s created in his mind, and also hopes that Magnus doesn’t think he’s completely obtuse.
But Magnus only gives him a fond smile.
“Right,” He says, “Forgive me, darling. I forget how new you are to all of this. Perhaps a visual aid-” Magnus opens a palm flat in the space between them, snapping the fingers of his other hand, “Will make things a bit clearer.”
There is a swirling cloud of blue magic on the palm Magnus has opened. Alec stares as it materializes into a small, black object and-
Oooh.
It looks… nothing like what Alec had been picturing. This… actually makes way more sense. It looks like one of those sponge things he sees Magnus and Izzy use for makeup, with a handle attached to the end.
“Ahhh.” Alec realizes, trailing off in understanding.
Magnus furrows his brows, apparently noticing Alec’s dilemma, “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” Alec flushes, suddenly presented with a whole new set of reasons to think that he’s an idiot, and wanting to admit none of them to Magnus.
“Alec?”
Alec doesn’t respond, keeping his eyes locked firmly on the plug that is decidedly not the kind of plug he had been thinking of. Desperate to move on, he reaches out to touch it, “What is this made of?”
Magnus’ frown deepens at Alec’s obvious attempts to change the topic, but he indulges him anyway and Alec learns that this one is made of silicone. He moves to take it out of Magnus’ hand for closer inspection, but Magnus is quick to snatch it away.
“What did you think it would look like?” He asks, narrowing his eyes at Alec. Alec makes no attempt to answer and instead begins looking away from him to hide the way that his face is once again quickly approaching the color of a tomato.
“Alexander.” Magnus says, his tone scandalous, “Did you think I meant an electrical plug?”
From Magnus' reaction to it, Alec’s silence apparently speaks for itself. He bites furiously at his bottom lip and turns away entirely.
“Alexander-” Magnus tries, but whatever he’d been trying to say gets lost as he loses his battle against himself, hysterical laughter winning over, “Alec-”
“It isn’t funny!” Alec complains loudly, thinking that if he wishes hard enough Raziel would be merciful and strike him down right there to put him out of his torment.
“It’s a little bit funny!” Magnus counters through his snickering.
Magnus reaches for him, pulling Alec back until he is no longer so far away. Alec, as always, is helpless not to go, though he puts up a poor attempt at a struggle when Magnus’ entire body seems to still be shaking with his attempts to conceal his laughter.
“I’m sorry.” Magnus tries again, a bit more subdued this time. He presses a kiss to the top of Alec’s head in apology and Alec raises up enough that they are facing each other once again. Magnus’ lips are pressed together in a thin line, gold-green eyes still twinkling with humor, “Darling, I really am sorry for laughing, but you have to admit that is fucking hilarious.”
Alec huffs, though he cannot help the way that the corners of his mouth quirks upwards.
“It isn’t.” He insists anyway, “It was a perfectly understandable mistake to make.”
“You thought that people were using electrical plugs in their ass!” Magnus counters, appearing as though the verbal reminder is going to send him into yet another laughing fit, “How did your mind even go there?”
“I don’t know how Mundanes work!” Alec argues, and he realizes that he is laughing too now despite his best attempts not to, “They do weird things like this all the time!”
Magnus throws his head back, and Alec allows himself to be sucked into the hysterical ridiculousness of the entire thing too.
“My dear Alexander.” Magnus grins once they have both regained some semblance of their composure, “My lovely, innocent Alexander.”
“I’m not innocent.” Alec states, and wants to make a quip about how Magnus made sure of that but can’t push through his own awkwardness enough to get the words out. From the look Magnus gives him though, Alec thinks he hears it anyway.
“No.” Magnus agrees, and he runs his thumb absently over the butt plug still clutched in his hand, “No, you most certainly are not.”
Alec flushes and clears his throat, nodding pointedly in the direction of the plug, “Ok.”
“Ok?”
“Ok.” Alec confirms, “I want to try it with you.”
“Now that you’ve confirmed I won’t be putting an electrical plug inside of you?” Magnus teases, pressing a kiss to Alec’s lips before he can complain, “I’d love to try this with you, too. Granted, I’m always looking forward to anything that involves debauching you-”
“Magnus-”
“And I know this is all new, and a bit scary for you,” Magnus continues anyway, ignoring Alec and placating him with yet another kiss, “And how difficult it is for you to talk about these things. So thank you for trusting me with this.”
Alec thinks, quite frankly, that they’ve talked enough at his expense. If he’s going to be keeping this ridiculous blush with him, he might as well have it for more enjoyable reasons.
He pulls Magnus in closer, and Magnus makes a delighted hum at the back of his throat as he allows them to fall back onto the bed.