Archive of Our Own

Yuuji had learnt to not hope too often.

He still remembered his first hope, though briefly and blurry like an old photo marred with droplets of water. 

But it was a simple hope.

He wanted his parents to come back.

Little Yuuji tugged at his grandfather's sleeve, meaty hand curling and round eyes gazing outside the window of their humble, small abode as a powerful downpour crashed upon Earth. The street was empty, devoid of people who used to pass by, and the rain brought a dense mist that hindered Yuuji's vision even more. "Where's Papa and Mama? Why they never come home? I miss them..."

Even if Yuuji never saw them, there was a sense of longing in his heart. And as a feisty kid, he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible and fulfill his heart with something else other than loneliness.

He had his grandfather, yes, but as a kid, it was no wonder he wanted for more.

(Kids were as selfish as that)

Yuuji couldn't see his grandfather's face due to his angle of vision, but through the reflection from the window, Yuuji saw a calloused hand patting his unruly locks of strawberry that received several mocking from school. He slightly ducked his head at the gesture, before tilting it upwards to meet his grandfather's gaze.

There was this odd look on his face that Yuuji couldn't quite comprehend back then when he hadn't had the full grasp of reality. His grandfather looked sad, but at the same time he looked angry. He couldn't decide which expression he wanted to wear, so he settled for something in between, Yuuji concluded when he reminisced it now.

"Don't, Yuuji. Don't tire yourself for thinking about them." His grandfather told him, and little Yuuji, who was innocent and young and confused, could only nod at his sole guardian's words.

Yuuji hoped for a lot of things after that. The feeling comforting and giving him a reason to hold onto something that could ease his worry. He hoped for the rain to stop, he hoped for a not scorching afternoon, he hoped for the goods in the market to low their prices, he hoped for a better canteen foods, he hoped for a better grades, and many more. Trivial, little things for Yuuji.

He also hoped for his grandfather.

He wanted his grandfather to be healthy again. Despite his irksome demeanor, he was still family. The only family Yuuji had left.

Yuuji didn't have anybody else.

Everyone left him.

Everyone always did.

Yuuji knew his grandfather couldn't stay forever with him, he wasn't someone immortal like a god or a deity, but at least Yuuji hoped he could still be alive to see Yuuji graduate from high school and enroll into a college. Maybe until he found a girlfriend and settled down, building a family of his own that Yuuji would love and cherish with all of his heart.

He didn't want his family to lack of love Yuuji himself never got his hands to.

But his grandfather did leave though, even before Yuuji's hope could be voiced to the person himself.

"Please don't leave like they did."

And it was the day when everything in Yuuji's world turned somersault.

Fushiguro.

Sukuna's finger.

His upperclassmen.

Sukuna.

Gojou-sensei.

Execution.

His execution, to be exact.

After being dragged into this kind of world, where virtue was diminutive and worthless comparing to power and curses, Yuuji knew he couldn't hope as recklessly as before, couldn't depend on his hopes to solve his way out of his problems.

But he still did.

Yuuji hoped Sukuna would help him.

Sukuna never did. All he did was troubling everyone else and almost killed Fushiguro.

Yuuji hoped Junpei could be returned.

Junpei couldn't be. He was unfixable. The boy who loved movies and his mother more than anything in this world, was gone.

Yuuji hoped he could take back the sin for killing the two cursed brothers.

Someone could never take back a killing act. Once you killed someone, then you were a murderer. Better it be intentional or not, the blood was smeared on your hands. The line of right and wrong of Yuuji's moral blurred even more, and it hurt.

It hurt so much.

That was why after Shibuya incident struck and Yuuji was on the run with Chousou, he tried his damnedest to not hope for a better future. He felt like his hopes would only bring more misery into reality, because no matter which angle he looked into, all of this destruction was impossible to repair. Even if they managed, someway or another, it wouldn't be the same.

There were things that couldn't be repaired, including lives. Fallen lives that were caused by none other by Yuuji himself, were impossible to retain to their family and loved ones. Yuuji took that chance away from them, and the sin was his to bear.

Yet, Yuuji held onto his last hope.

"Please don't die, Gojou-sensei."

His teacher was the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. His teacher was the wielder of the scales of jujutsu society. His teacher kept everything even and still, if he died then the jujutsu world would be put into a much more appalling uproar. It would be much, much worse than the current situation they faced.

Yuuji hoped Gojou-sensei wouldn't die any time soon, because he had something to tell his teacher.

An apology, to be exact, and a wish to be forgiven to go along with the statement.

Because Yuuji lost it.

Yuuji had lost it, and no matter how far and desperate he searched for it, he could never find it again.

The first thing Yuuji did after Gojou-sensei was freed from Prison Realm was running.

Yuuji ran, giving his all to his long strides that even startled Fushiguro and Okkotsu-senpai. Gojou-sensei turned around just in time as Yuuji tackled him to the ground, arms circling tight around his teacher's figure as he sobbed uncontrollably onto his chest. Gojou-sensei didn't move, didn't say a word, but it was the way his muscles slackened that made Yuuji melt onto him.

He missed hugging Gojou-sensei.

"Itadori..." Fushiguro called out, unsure.

"I think we should give them some privacy." Okkotsu-senpai decided, his voice soft with understanding. "Fushiguro-kun, let's supervise the area nearby. We need to make sure there are no curses lurking."

"Right..." 

Gojou-sensei's fingers found Yuuji's hair the moment those two left the room. The touch was tender and familiar, fingertips dancing lightly on Yuuji's skull and working to smooth the tension off his nerves. It was a feeling Yuuji described both as homely and heavenly. A feeling Yuuji had been deprived from for too long for his liking and left him aching with the imagery of coming home to his teacher's embrace.

"Can I see your face, Yuuji?" Gojou-sensei asked, giving a particular spot on his scalp a tiny press that relaxed Yuuji even more, his voice playful but carrying a vulnerable plea. "It's endearing to have you in my arms again, darling, so I want to see your face as well."

Yuuji tensed, tears ceasing at once. What would Gojou-sensei think of the scars on his face? They were unsightly, Yuuji had some close calls of tearing his skin apart by the mere abhorrence he felt for them. If it weren't for Chousou's interruptions, Yuuji's face might've ended more awful than before.

Yuuji resented his scars. They were reminders of how weak and impotent he really was. Whenever Yuuji looked at them from any glass he could find, the scars mocked him by their vivid reflection on his skin, and his mind would replay that day's event where he failed to save the boy he was supposed to keep safe and guide back to the right path.

Yuuji's fist flew to the glass screen immediately, and as Chousou abruptly came into his vision, he discarded the cursed human's worry for his bleeding knuckles.

He didn't want Gojou-sensei to hate him because of his scars. If it was Yuuji then it was fine, but Gojou-sensei? Yuuji couldn't possibly handle his teacher hating him. Yuuji didn't want his teacher to leave him again. 

Not again.

Don't leave me.

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me for being so weak, sensei.

"Yuuji?" Gojou-sensei's muddled voice snapped Yuuji out of his reverie, and it served his teacher a chance to cup his cheek in his large palm, fingers coaxing Yuuji to look up by the lightest of taps.

So Yuuji did, even if he kept his eyes closed.

Silence fell upon them, until Gojou-sensei's voice seemed to resonate back and forth in the room.

"Yuuji, what happened...?" Gojou-sensei whispered, and shortly after Yuuji felt hesitant touches grazing the scar blemishing the bridge of his nose. It prompted Yuuji to creak his eyes open, and they bulged at the sight of Gojou-sensei's sublime eyes shimmering with tears.

Yuuji had never seen his teacher cried before.

The most powerful man on jujutsu world... crying?

"Gojou-sensei, why--"

"It's my fault, Yuuji. I couldn't protect you. Please forgive your sensei, Yuuji."

Gojou-sensei's voice wavered at the end as he sat up, bringing Yuuji along with him. His other hand skirted upwards to cup Yuuji's other cheek, head casting down to pepper feather-light kisses over his scars, not only on his nose, but also the one at the corner of his lips before Gojou-sensei kissed him properly, hot droplets of tears breaking in into the gap. Yuuji sniffled, whole body shaking from relief and yearning, and he pressed back just as equally, just as desperately.

Yuuji's hope was granted.

For the first time since forever, it was granted.

Could Yuuji ask for more? Could Yuuji dare himself to ask for more? 

"Gojou-sensei, Gojou-sensei..." Yuuji sobbed and chased after his teacher's lips as they parted, a glistering silver line connecting their pompadour pads. He missed his teacher so much that it hurt physically just to think about him, chest throbbing and breath quickening, and tears built up beneath his eyelids before he could even comprehend it. Yuuji only wanted to stay by his teacher's side until his time came.

Gojou-sensei obliged, slotting their lips together once again and rendering Yuuji boneless in his arms. It was nothing intense like the ones they used to steal from each other behind close doors and over rumpled bed sheets, where it left them breathless and needing for more, but that didn't mean the feeling subsided.

Rather, it was solidified by the simple push of Gojou-sensei's lips against Yuuji's, because he was so warm. So unbelievably warm and undoubtedly alive. Yuuji mentally kicked himself for weeping even more during the kiss, but he sent his inner thanks for Gojou-sensei who didn't seem to trouble it.

"Yuuji, I'm back."

"Welcome back, sensei..."

This was similar to the time when Yuuji woke up from his temporal death, Gojou-sensei greeting him and initiating a high five even in Yuuji's nude state. Not that he really cared about it that time though. Now, it was Yuuji who greeted him back, like the times when he abided in his teacher's house and welcomed him after his missions.

("Yuuji's housewife moments", like Gojou-sensei idly wondered out loud once. Yuuji blushed and flicked his teacher's forehead, dismissing his yelp)

"Sensei, can I tell you something?" Yuuji began as they had tangled themselves with each other, Yuuji perching snugly on his teacher's lap as Gojou-sensei's hands settled on his waist, keeping him sweetly in place.

Gojou-sensei's eyes flicked up and down on Yuuji's face, seemingly intrigued, and he hummed. "Sure you can, baby. You can tell sensei everything."

Yuuji gulped. "Could sensei promise me that sensei wouldn't be mad?"

His teacher's expression seemed to darken at once, but Yuuji had known him thoroughly enough to know that it was out of curiosity that he pulled off as a solemn inquiry. Just for the sake of looking cool, he guessed.

"I promise, Yuuji, though if I crossed it, I doubt we could find 1000 needles for me to swallow." Gojou-sensei chuckled, and it worked to ease bits of Yuuji's worry.

Not all, but it would suffice. 

Maybe.

Here I go, Yuuji drew a sharp breath and exhaled it slowly. Gojou-sensei caressed his nape as a silent encouragement, sturdy palm stroking his skin and undercut gently. Yuuji's breath stuttered as he struggled to keep his voice even, but he had-- must say this.

"During Shibuya, I got into a lot of fights... And I lost it. I'm sorry, sensei, I didn't even know which fight that caused it, but as I checked my pockets after the incident, it was gone... I'm sorry, sensei..."

Gojou-sensei blinked, still processing. Yuuji decided to help him think faster this time.

"I lost our engagement ring, sensei..."

"Yuuji, let's get married."

Yuuji spluttered.

"Sensei?! Where did that come from?!"

Yuuji turned around to face his teacher, feeling incredulous. Gojou-sensei merely blinked, eyes wide, bright, and innocent, as if a child asking to buy a candy from a shop owner. Yet this big child asked Yuuji, the shop owner, for his hand in marriage, and Yuuji felt a sudden urge to slap someone's face.

Yuuji's own or Gojou-sensei's? He hadn't decided. Yet.

"Does Yuuji not want to marry me? Sensei is hurt." Gojou-sensei bemoaned, placing a hand to his chest with a dramatical sigh, trimmed eyebrows dropping. "And I thought our love is mutual..."

"It is, sensei!" Yuuji blurted out, and he pinched his teacher's nose after he gave Yuuji that knowing, rakish smirk, ignoring the small whine he let out. "It's just..." Yuuji trailed off, hand sliding down and landing onto the plush pillow beneath his cheek. "Does sensei really want to marry me? I mean, I also want to, but I'm not a girl. I couldn't give sensei a child of our own flesh and blood, let alone a family..."

"Don't overthink it, Yuuji." Gojou-sensei laughed cheerily, the side of his hand writing invisible lines over Yuuji's temple. "Just being together with you makes sensei happy. More than anything in this world, even. Besides, who needs family when we have the first and second-years? They're already family, are they not?"

It was Yuuji's turn to blink rapidly. The more he thought about it, the more he saw it as the truth. Fushiguro and Kugisaki were the closest friends he ever had in life, and his upperclassmen were dependable even if they tasked them often for trifling matters. They had each other's back in missions and treated each other's injuries as well, under the supervision of Ieiri-sensei, of course. They bantered quite often too, but that was what family did, right? They debated and fought a lot, but they always found a way to reconcile with each other.

Jujutsu High's way to reconcile was having a dinner together with Yuuji's cooking, and it always worked. Every single time.

"I guess you're right, sensei." Yuuji nodded, and Gojou-sensei's smirk grew.

"Of course I am! So, what do you say?" Gojou-sensei asked once again, taking both of Yuuji's hands into his palms as his eyes crinkled with hopeful glints. Yuuji's breath hitched, cheeks warming up in an alarming speed. "Itadori Yuuji, would you marry me?"

Marriage was a sacred concept to many people, reciting it as the bonding of two souls loving each other and the stating of their vow to the God above. Yuuji had seen enough from piles of movies his teacher gave him, and whilst every marriage might won't end happily, Yuuji thought he could thrive. They could thrive.

After all, it would be Gojou-sensei he would be marrying. His teacher, his savior, his anchor, and his executioner. If it was with Gojou-sensei, then Yuuji thought they would be just fine. Because Yuuji would have Gojou-sensei on his side, and Gojou-sensei would have Yuuji on his, like two pieces of puzzle destined for each other.

"Yes." Yuuji grinned just as blindingly as his teacher's eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes Yuuji had ever seen in his life, as if an imagination of what would the sky look like if it was made of jewels. And Yuuji got to see it himself before it could be embodied.

He would love to gaze into this lustrous sky for the rest of his life, and to spend his ticking life together, for both knew Yuuji was fated to live a short life. "I'd very much love to marry you, Gojou Satoru-sensei."

His teacher visibly brightened, a divine light casting over his expression even if the bedroom was soaking in dim lights. "My sweet Yuuji, why couldn't you say my name without any honorifics? I want to hear it!"

"But you're still my teacher! It would be inappropriate!" Yuuji reasoned, shaking his head playfully.

"Is it inappropriate if we're husbands?"

"Fiancés, sensei."

"Yes, yes, but still!" Gojou-sensei pouted, bottom lip sticking out in the most bratty way that made Yuuji burst into laughter. Soon Gojou-sensei joined in, and they were grateful for the scarcity of neighbors for this action would surely receive some complaints in the morning. Not that Gojou-sensei would care, but Yuuji would, and he would hate it if they were to cause inconvenience to others.

"Oh! Now that we have this settled, sensei got something for you!" Yuuji watched, pondering, as Gojou-sensei twisted his body around and started to rummage through the desk of his nightstand. Later he emerged with a deep purple box on his palm, and Yuuji's heart skipped a beat at the sight. He didn't even have to ask what was in there. The box itself told him everything.

"Ta-daa!" Gojou-sensei opened the lid flauntly, and Yuuji had to sit up so he could properly behold two silver rings sitting gracefully atop of posh black pillows, his eyes twinkling in both awe and surprise.

"So pretty!! Must be very expensive!!"

"Hehe, anything for my Yuuji~."

Gojou-sensei also sat up on the bed, feathery blanket pooling on Yuuji's and his folded lap. Yuuji was bashful as Gojou-sensei slid the ring onto his ring finger, the size was surprisingly fit until Yuuji realized that it wouldn't be a difficult task for the user of Six Eyes to find out, if the technique did function like that. The ring was frigid yet comfy on Yuuji's skin, the weight almost unnoticeable, but just enough for him to know that there was a hopeful promise circling him, bearing countless of possibilities for their future.

The silver ring, while it didn't reach his teacher's tuffs of stark, pristine white (nothing but snow could compare to Gojou-sensei's hair, Yuuji supposed), shone with the same way as Gojou-sensei's eyes did right now, adoring and affectionate and absolutely, completely in love.

"Perfect." And that one sincere word from Gojou-sensei brought Yuuji into tears.

Yuuji was anything but perfect, for he was cursed and filthy by the malevolent presence residing in him, an infallible opposite of the man before him. But as Gojou-sensei looked at him like this, Yuuji felt like a falling sakura petal by the beginning of spring. Soft pink, tender, swaying so easily, and had yet to be tainted by anything dirty in this world.

Gojou-sensei allowed Yuuji to slide the other ring onto his sylphlike finger, their rings clinking together before their lips did, and nothing had ever brought Yuuji such happiness like this night.

"You lost it?" Gojou-sensei tilted his head, voice clear and expression neutral for once, and a talon of dread climbed up Yuuji's spine.

"I'm sorry... Please don't hate me, sensei." Yuuji refused to meet his teacher's gaze, afraid that he would see dismay and disbelief in it. The first time Yuuji saw those rings, he knew they costed an excessive amount of money. They could no longer find that kind of ring in Japan's current situation.

The rings were irreplaceable.

And Yuuji lost it.

"Why would I hate you for that, Yuuji? It's just a ring, nothing more." Gojou-sensei crooned, and Yuuji snapped his attention back at him.

"But it was our ring, sensei!"

"And?"

Yuuji clasped his mouth shut, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip in doubt as Gojou-sensei merely smiled. Was Yuuji the only one who took this matter seriously? This was the ring Gojou-sensei gave for him in promise of getting married in the future! This wasn't something to be overlooked so easily!

"Ring is just a symbol, Yuuji. We could still get married without it, yeah? After all, sensei hasn't lost mine."

Glints of silver encased Yuuji's vision then, a brilliant circle that he used to gush over so late in the night by its sheer beauty that received a bored chastise from Sukuna once. Yuuji's hand trembled as he caressed Gojou-sensei's ring that he fished out of his pocket, sitting nicely on his palm. Another tide of guilt washed Yuuji's body, for how foolish he could be to lose such a treasure? But Gojou-sensei easily receded the waters by leaning forward to plant a tender kiss on his forehead.

Yuuji sniffled again, a feeble smile gracing his face. "It's still as beautiful as the last I remember, sensei."

"Right? Your sensei has good eyes for this kind of matters." Gojou-sensei puffed his chest haughtily. He held the ring between his two fingers and poked Yuuji's nose with it, eliciting a confused sound from his throat.

"But if you're still worried about it, then I will make sure no one could take this ring away from me. We could find a new pair after all of this ended, but we'd keep this one as a reminder of the shambles we've been through. How's that sound, Yuuji?"

After all of this ended... Yuuji liked it, it felt like an echo of another promise. And it fueled Yuuji's determination as well, because there was nothing that delighted him more than his friends and Gojou-sensei. They were the most important people in his life, and after all of this ended, hopefully they could gather together again for a dinner. They would chat, they would laugh, they would banter, and they would be happy.

"Perfect." Yuuji breathed out, the same way Gojou-sensei complimented him that night, and the toothy grin his teacher gave in return almost caused Yuuji's heart to burst. It felt too much, but he still wanted more.

"Itadori-kun? Gojou-sensei?" Okkotsu-senpai's voice was followed by several knocks on the door, and the aforementioned males turned their head in tandem. "If you've finished, could you please give us a hand? Turns out there's a lot of curses in this area, even Fushiguro-kun says they're really troublesome."

"Great! I haven't flexed my abilities for a while!" Gojou-sensei chuckled darkly as he and Yuuji got up from their position, and the pink-haired beside him sweatdropped.

"Sensei, don't overdue yourself."

"No promises, honey. I'm bored~ as hell!"

Outside, where Okkotsu-senpai was healing Fushiguro's injuries and Yuuji was sitting on the road's rail, watching in awe as Gojou-sensei exorcised the curses with flashes of blue and red, his hollers of laughter resonating in broad daylight, Yuuji cradled their ring close to his chest, cheerful heartbeats greeting the glistering arch.

("Hold our ring for a while, love. I don't want it to be possibly ruined as I play."

"Got it, sensei. Be careful."

Gojou-sensei smiled widely, it was everything arrogant yet earnest upon this Earth.

"As you wish, Yuuji."

And Yuuji patiently explained the ring to the flabbergasted Okkotsu-senpai and Fushiguro while the screech of curses and Gojou-sensei's overly excited laughs rang back and forth between them)