Chapter Text
DELACROIX, LOUISIANA.
“THE WILSON HOUSE”
Sam Wilson, a known veteran of the United States and a hero to The Avengers. To many, he was a hero out in this world, but to his sister Sarah and his nephews, he was the hero in the kitchen and to their stomachs. So much so that he was usually on dinner duty. Sarah was a wonderful cook, don’t get Sam wrong, but he knew that he rocked the kitchen. The kitchen to him was like comfort, it helped him relax. To be more him. Everyone had their hobbies, right?
His eyes were stuck on the crawfish, the warm sky reflecting him. He was lucky to even get this catch if he’s honest. It took skill to cook crawfish, not anyone could do such a thing (not to be so dramatic about such.) It took ages for Sam to finally perfect his way of cooking these guys. He tried for years to try and match his father’s recipe but it just didn’t feel right. Instead, Sam decided that he was going to do his way of cooking.
Crawfish. Where to start with crawfish. Crawfish was a comfort for Sam, though. It reminded him so much of Louisiana that it made him warm on the inside. Like walking out of a cold building into the warm sun. Or after spending time out in a snowstorm only to go inside into your warm home.
You see… When you think of love, you believe in the romantic type in the movies but that wasn’t always the case. Southern food, especially seafood, was the gateway to Sam’s heart. Such simple things brought Sam to a nostalgic sense of life that would get him smiling. He remembers how his dad, Paul, would cook up some crawdads in the back of the yard just as he was doing, and would make Sarah and him sit down and listen to him.
“You have to watch them.” His father’s voice rang out, tongs being pointed at the pot and then at Sam “You listening, Sammy? Or you just are not listening to your old man?”
“Yeah, I’m listening, pop.” Sam seemed to be staring at the pot instead.
“Anyways… Like I was sayin’—” His father starts before he hears his daughter yelling at Sam for pinching her arm, and then hears a snicker from his son.
This house held so many good memories, so many.
Sam finally blinks back to reality, realizing that he was looking at the weeping willow rather than the boiling pot in front of him.
“Shit—“ He hisses out, lowering the gas a bit before sighing. It ain’t easy. “Thank god,” Sam mutters out to himself. The red food only looked back up at him. A smile soon left his lips, not even controlling such. He felt as if it was silly to be so humbled by such but from what he was dealing with outside of his home, anything got him into a giddy mood.
All he hoped for was this meal to be good, good enough so his nephews don’t look at it like he was crazy to serve such a thing. Maybe this was stupid. Maybe he should’ve served something that everyone would like.
“Sam.” A voice breaks him from his second thoughts, “Sarah wants me to set up the table where do I-“
“Right over there on the table, Buck.” He points with the tongs.
“You still don’t get to call me that”
“Why not? You’re staying at my house, I absolutely think I should get this pass already.”
“Not.” The Brooklyn native finally cuts the discussion.
James Buchanan Barnes, known to the public as Captain America’s best friend and the most terrifying man to ever cross eyes with. It didn’t help that he was also an ex-assassin. And a veteran. Usually, those two don’t necessarily mix but with Bucky’s situation, you know how things would turn out. His metal arm seemed to be holding the most stuff at this point; Cups that were probably just as old as Sarah and Sam, a pitcher filled with lemonade that was made by Bucky way earlier, and plates that were a sandy brown.
“That lemonade better not be sour, Bucky,” Sam warned with a teasing tone before he shuts off the heat completely, already walking over to the other.
Sam always had this confidence with him, a confidence that was so high that you wish that could achieve it. Something that made Bucky… Well, to be honest, he was infuriated by the whole look of him. He was like a pebble in your shoe that you could never get out of no matter how hard you shake it.
“It’s not.” Bucky snips back.
It wasn’t… Or he didn’t think it was such. No one has tried it yet, not even Bucky, himself. Let’s just hope it was good so Cass and AJ don’t start complaining. Bucky only looks back up at Sam before shoving the brown plates into his chest. A silent way of making him help with the setup (well not completely silent with the plates hitting together but you get the gist.)
The tablecloth was already placed down, now this tablecloth was special because it’s been used for a while now as well. This table cloth gets cleaned so they just pour the crawfish down on the table and eat from there.
This was gonna be interesting to watch Bucky eat, especially when he’s gonna see the things get poured right on the table. See, there were so many differences between Bucky and Sam. But one that doesn’t seem to get discussed a lot was the place of birth, their hometowns.
Brooklyn. Yes, that wonderful mix of a borough in New York. It was such an old area, yet now held a home for so many people. Despite the drastic changes of the area, especially living in Cobble Hill, it just… different but all the same. Brooklyn was his home. He took it personally if someone mentioned its problems. Between Manhattan and it, it was probably the better brother out of the two.
Delacroix. It’s lively, everyone knows everyone. It was just full of life. There’s something about this place that just felt right. Like a real southern town, like the ones you read about in your silly little novels. For Sam, he thought this place was superior to any other place because of all the little places to do here. Especially the boat. He found comfort in such a place. As much as he loved the skies, the waters around here were absolutely beautiful. Nothing could beat it.
Both seemed to be energetic and filled with a livelihood that just… seemed like home to anyone who stepped foot in such. It was a nice thing, the two just thought their respective homes were the best.
Bucky set down the four cups, placing them on the left-hand side of where the plates would be. The whole thing reminded him much how Steve would set the table. He always puts the cup on the left of the plate. The two would eat very little, but Buck worked his ass off just to get something on the plate. It was just how it was. Work to live. Ever since Steve and he got back together, it seemed as if he was just living the same way he left him. Work to live, don’t disappoint anyone and maybe you’ll be happy.
“Don’t spill that lemonade now.” Sam teased, though all he got was a glare from the other, “What?”
Bucky picks up a cup then, pouring the juice into the first cup. Nothing left his lips before he shook his head once more. The urge to just clamp his mouth shut was high but knowing Sam, he’d find some way to open it back up again. That was the way he functioned. He was so different from Steve, not to compare him to his past friend. Maybe it was the old habit of Buck’s to do so. To just judge others for not being just like Steve. Was it because of the loss of him? Maybe. He didn’t know. Or he did… Hard to tell. Let’s come back to that when he was with Dr. Raynor, now shall we?
Bucky was on the fourth and last cup before he looked back up at Sam following him, placing the plates as he placed the cup down.
“Stop,” Bucky tells him.
“I’m not doin’ anything,” Sam interjects.
“Boys, stop arguing.”
Sarah. What a wonderful woman, always there to break up the fights… or start them. AJ and Cass seemed to be stepping out as well.
“I want you to know that I was doing nothing, Sarah.” Sam defends.
“Really?” Sarah asks, “Looks like you’re right on his tail. Give him space.”
“Yeah give him space.” Cass teased his uncle.
“Oh… you wanna play that game, huh?” Sam smiled before squatting down and pinching the sides of his nephew’s stomach.
An eye roll was earned by Sarah. Truly her brother was someone else. As people viewed him as The Falcon, all she could view him as was her brother that teased her all through her childhood. The brother used to blast his music from his boom box only to have their mother scream at them to turn it down. He wasn’t what America puts out to be. Maybe she was frustrated by such as well. To have people of the world already assume that they know everything about Sam. No. They didn’t know Sam as she did and they refused to see the real him. He wasn’t just Captain America’s sidekick. He wasn’t even close. He was Sam Fucking Wilson.
Sam stands back up normally, looking at Sarah, “Alright, so I got it set up already, we ready to go?”
“Yeah, we are,” Sarah says before she sits down on the bench at her spot next to Bucky, who sat down next to her. Following suit was AJ who sat next to his mother and Cass across from him.
It took a moment, but Sam was already walking over with his oven mitts as he held the large pot. He pours the dish down on the table and then lays the pot down on the grass.
“There you go, guys.”
“But the plates-“ Bucky starts before AJ shakes his head,
“That’s how we eat it. Off of the table.” He was already taking a few off the table and breaking the heads off and eating. A hum of enjoyment leaving his lips, it was like music to Sam’s ears as he heard such.
Then Sarah takes Cass’ plate, placing some down as well as some corn and sausage, using the fork to point at him. A way of telling him to eat the corn as well.
Bucky only stares before picking up a few of the crawfish with his forks only after looking at the man who sat across from him.
“Hey AJ. You wanna play that game?”
“No Sam, we’re not playing would you rather,” Sarah interjects before she looks over at AJ, who was tapping his fork on his cup to get everyone’s attention.
“Alright… Alright. I was saving this really good one for this special occasion, just for Bucky. Would you rather… Be a reverse centaur or a reverse mermaid?”
“AJ, where do you come up with these?” Sarah asks with a small laugh before breaking off the crawfish’s head. AJ only smiled at his mom, biting off a piece of his corn.
“Could you breathe as a reverse mermaid or do you have to live underwater?” Sam asks before he cut some sausage for himself,
“No. You have to live underwater, because of the gills, right?” Sarah answers.
“No but it’s just gonna be your head that’s a fish, right? You would still have human lungs.” Sam points his fork before taking another bite of his food.
“I think the centaur thing seems most logical,” Bucky says. Which everyone seemed to nod.
“Uncle Sam, it’s your turn.”
Sam looked up from chewing before lifting up his cup, “Right… okay. Would you rather control fire or water?”
“Water, easy.” Cass pipes in, after swallowing his food, “You know why?”
“Why?” Sam looked over at his nephew, obviously intrigued by what he had to add. Bucky seemed to smile a bit at the two, his metal arm went on the table then. Cass and AJ thought of it more like a jungle gym more than anything. But he… really didn’t mind it. As much as he put it out to be. The two of them were happy, really that was all that was good for him.
“If I ever get stuck in a desert, I’ll never die from dehydration. I got unlimited water.”
Sam pointed at him before nodding before AJ who was looking across at his brother, “Why would you be in a desert in the first place?”
“Crazy stuff happens.” Cass shrugged then before looking over at his mom, “What about you?”
“Fire.” She picks before humming, “See, if I get stuck in a snowstorm I could make a fire so I’m warm.”
Sam shook his head, “We never get snow, Sarah.”
“Never say never,” Sarah warns before knocking on the wood table.
Snow never happened, especially so close to the gulf sure they get a hurricane once in a while, but you’re crazy to think they ever get snow down here. Cass always wanted some snow there, though. Maybe because it was in every Christmas movie. There’s a pause then before Cass finally takes a drink of his lemonade before making a face before spitting it out behind him, AJ making a disgusted face and shaking his head.
Bucky only frowns at such, “I swear I added sugar.”
“You ain’t supposed to be frugal with the whole thing, Bucky.” Sam only smiles though before picking up the pitcher, “I got it.”
“No, I made it, let me get it.” Bucky holds out his hand, standing up before Sam shook his head.
“Sit down and eat.”
“...Fine,” Bucky replies, sitting down and finally picking up his knife and fork, cutting the sausage. He paused however only to watch Sam walk away to the side of the house, back to the kitchen.
The staring problem was not necessarily all because of his problems with HYDRA or just all of the stuff in his head. It was something completely different. What bothered him the most was the walk once more. His broad shoulders moved as he walked. His shirt fitting just right on his back. God, this was just so stupid and annoying. He clenched his jaw but he turned just as Sarah nudged him and rose a brow,
“You good, hun’?”
Bucky seemed to only nod at such a question, though he looked down at his plate, not eating until the other man would come back. This whole thing, staying with Sam was something else. It was supposed to make things easier for missions so that they wouldn’t have to meet in a certain area and then fly out. But also so Bucky could have a more… quiet and domesticated life to try and ease himself into here and there. What aggravated him so much? He was so snarky and confident, those two seemed to pop up a lot. He loved to be so new, they couldn’t talk about the things they liked because they seemed like complete opposites.
“Listen.” Sarah starts, putting down her utensils to fold her hands and balances her head up with them, “Sam may tease you a lot, but he only does it because he likes to see other people laugh, don’t take anything he says when he sounds like that seriously.”
Bucky stared at her then, trying to process what she said to him. She was right, and he knew that. He didn’t get offended by anything that Sam would tease him about. That’s not why he was there, that’s not why he was staring at him either, though. Maybe this whole thing was stupid, thinking too much into this was only going to upset him more. Sam was just doing it to be a nuisance, that’s how it was with him. Why did Steve find him so enticing? Was it because he was so different from Buck? Steve loved the difference around him, never loved the same little thing despite being so old-fashioned as others try to say about him.
But the real reason why Sam teased people so much was that it was how he felt a connection to people. To feel them out, and being rather a people person he was, it was natural for him to joke about silly things just like he did. It wasn’t a bad thing like how Bucky was making it to be it in his head. It was just a way to get to be more like himself, the cocky and snarky guy he was.
“James, how much sugar did you put in the lemonade anyway?” Sarah then asks, taking a sip before humming, yeah it was just as bad as Cass was making it out to be.
“Uh… quarter of a cup.” Bucky finally speaks up once more before shaking his head, “I didn’t want you guys to run out of sugar, that’s why I used less.”
“Honey, do not worry about the amount of sugar you use, okay? It’s cheap and we’re not gonna have any shortages, okay?” Sarah responds, taking a bite of her food once more.
Just as Sam looked back, the side door swung open with Sam now back with the fixed lemonade, smile still on his face. He shook his hip as a joke before starting to walk over. Sarah laughed a bit before shaking her head, pouring out a bit of her lemonade. Bucky just watched him with a confused face before he shook his head.
“Is he always like this?” Bucky asks Cass and AJ
AJ nods and shakes his head, “Unfortunately.”
“Love that I’m working with him then.”
“Least you’re not related to him”
“Thank god, huh?” Buck says.
“AJ, put on some music, okay?” Sarah tells him.
AJ stood up then, walking over to the small table that laid beside the burner, and picked up the old radio from the side.
“Turn KMEZ, AJ,” Sam tells him before AJ looks at him with a dead look.
“If y’all keep on ordering me to do this and that I’m gonna get frustrated.” He sits down just as he finishes talking, flipping the switch and scrolling through the stations before hitting the right station.
Bucky eyed the radio before he looked down at his meal before watching Sam pour out his lemonade and then poured in the new lemonade in his glass. His muscles seemed to move just as he moved in his navy shirt.
Sam looked up then, furrowing his brows, “You good?”
Bucky cleared his throat and nodded, pouring out his own lemonade. This was silly, really. He was getting distracted over something stupid. Maybe he should try those meditation things that Dr. Raynor kept on trying to convince him to do so. It seemed stupid when she first urged him to try such. His mind seemed so jumbled that it seemed impossible to even consider doing it. Why even try? But now… It was looking like a nice thing to do. Maybe before bed, just to sit on the couch and breathe. Yeah, that sounded really nice if he was honest.
The music broke him out of his thoughts, eyes immediately jumping to the machine that started to play. Bucky was unfamiliar with this song, but when you’ve been in and out of comatose and have been brainwashed, you don’t know many songs. Sam reached up to turn on the lights, as it was getting darker before she looks up,
“Oh, it's The Supremes, mom’s favorite, Sammy!” Sarah shouts out before shifting in her seat, pointing her fork at Sam, “Love is like an itching in my heart and I can’t…”
“Scratch it!” Sam finishes for her, using his fork as a microphone. Bucky only snorts a bit before he finally took a bite of his food.
When he says that this food was amazing, that would be an understatement. He’s never had something like this beforehand and he was really in love with the whole meal. It was beautiful. It felt as if he just took a bite into heaven. You can still taste the lemons in the crawfish. Oh and the garlic… It just felt right to have. His fork grabbed one of the potatoes from his plates, taking a bite before humming a bit. It took a few more chews before he looked up at Sam, who was raising his brows.
“See, I knew you would like it.”
“Shut up, Sam.”
Sam rose against his hands in defense, a laugh leaving his lips as he started to eat again. This was their little quarreling. They’ve been doing this so, so long now. What was it? They didn’t have a clue. It was just a thing the two of them did. It was their signature thing. Buck shook his head again before he clears his throat once more,
“Would you rather…” he starts, his eyes looking at the family who seemed to be intrigued by what he said. It wasn’t every day that Bucky put his own words into the conversation, “know how you’re going to die or when?”
Sarah pursed her lips at such but Cass seemed to be ready with an answer, “Definitely how. So I can just avoid it.”
AJ rolled his eyes before finishing his bite of food, “No, because what if it just tells you that you’re gonna die in a car crash? You can’t just stop driving.”
“I totally can. I’ll just live with mom my whole life.”
Bucky only raised his brows at such, “Didn’t know you allowed that.”
“Neither did I.,” Sarah said before she laughed a bit.
Sam buts in on to this, however, “I think when I die seems fitting because I can just live my life until that time.”
Bucky tilted his head before narrowing his eyes, “But what if it’s all you think about?”
“It won’t be.”
“No… I think that you’ll get rather paranoid, Sam.” Bucky took a bite of his potato again before sipping his lemonade and Sam poured the rest of the lemonade for the kids and Sarah.
Really this was a difficult question, honestly, death wasn’t what was really feared for Bucky but it’s what came after that made him fearful of what could happen. Maybe it was because it was just… hard to think about. Thinking about Sarah Rogers, Steve’s mother who was an Irish Catholic, he was raised by her to believe in heaven and hell. But Bucky realized that he’s already experienced the worst of the worst. So what really was the answer to all of this? Probably knowing when he’ll die, kind of hypocritical to what he said about earlier with Sam but it was a better choice. Both options could make you paranoid in the end.
“Sarah, how about you go?” Sam, who seemed to be annoyed just a bit at the other in front of him, said.
“Alright… Would you rather go to Disney World or Disneyland?” She asks and she looks down at her sons.
Cass shrugged, “I don’t know, I just want to see Darth Vader.” He covers his mouth before he does the breathing impression.
“Definitely Disney World, mom. More parks and it’s closer to us so cheaper traveling.”
“Smart, AJ.”
Sam raises his brows before looking at Bucky, “You remember it opening?”
Bucky shook his head at such, “No… It opened after the war. I wasn’t really all there.”
That was right, he was just coming up as the Winter Soldier at the time, right after taking care of Isiah Bradley only four years prior, but he knew when it opened because he was in California at the time, dealing with killing some military officer there. He remembers it opened in ‘55, he was in San Francisco on the job, he killed the man in his own home. Not good memories.
“Ah. Well, you know. I never got to experience it either, so we’re even, huh?” Sam says before sending him a smile, eating a part of his red potato.
It was nice that Sam was so dismissive of such when it came to those things like he knew when not to go into a topic. He was rather… sensitive. Not in a bad way, of course. Or at least, Bucky didn’t think it was all so bad, it was more of a comfort. That he wouldn’t beg him to talk about something he didn’t like, especially in front of others. Not that he wasn’t comfortable around Sarah and the children, it was just a topic that wasn’t for them or even Sam, he thought. Personally, he was great for everything that the two siblings did for him, but when it came to him about the whole mental health area, he didn’t want either in the piles of mess that could fill a whole room if he wanted to.
Maybe in time, he would get comfortable at least, telling someone about the whole ordeal, I mean… he’s been getting to know Sam for a couple of months now, but was Sam interested in learning about Bucky’s problems. To Bucky- he wasn’t. And it wouldn’t feel right just to lay on top of all of his problems just so he could be like, ‘Hey pal! Just thought I would let you know that I trust you enough to know every single little detail about my life as an assassin and what keeps me up at night!’.
But this was reality. Maybe if Steve were here, he would have an easier time navigating things… He could talk to him over the phone or in person, just like they used to. But… Steve needed to think for himself more often. Now that he wasn’t around and went back to see Peggy… He kinda did so.
All his life, Steve finally gave himself up to stop looking for a war and start looking for what he wanted to do and not value other’s lives over himself. And look at that… He did so. So he lived with Peggy, for over many decades and had their own life with one another. Good for him, that’s what he wanted in the end. Steve was just obsessed with family life, though Bucky… Bucky just wanted to be by Steve’s side. Even before the war, that’s all he seemed he was good at, being by Steve’s side and taking care of him. He thought the two of them were enough to him. But the thought wasn’t reciprocated.
It was such a hard situation that he couldn’t even bring up with Dr. Raynor. He refused to even. What would she think if he said such? Not like she could call him out (despite countless times that she did so during their sessions.) and it wasn’t a good thing to admit.
“Bucky.” Sam’s voice breaks his thoughts before he grabs a few more crawfish, “Cass asked if you wanted to take his room to sleep in tonight since Cass and AJ wanted to watch a movie together.”
Bucky blinked a bit, looking at Cass before shaking his head, “Kid, it’s fine…”
“Mr. Bucky, please? I really wanted to see this movie. It’s about robots helping people during the zombie apocalypse.”
Bucky seemed to furrow his brows but only nodded, “Alright… Thank you, Cass.”
It was like this for almost an hour, passing back and forth would you rather questions, and laughter between everyone. It was so odd, to be in a domesticated environment, especially for Bucky. There was so much laughter and tranquility between this family he almost felt… not like an outcast when it came to them. It felt right to be at this table, enjoying himself. Usually, that’s not exactly a word he would describe certain situations but he was rightfully enjoying himself here, and weirdly with Sam’s company.
And with Sam, he almost felt comfortable to include Bucky into this dinner, but only a couple of years ago, mentally it was five but out of the whole blip it was ten years, Bucky stole his steering wheel and tried to kill him, Steve and Nat. Now Bucky was sitting right across from him with such a small smile as he listened to his nephew talk about some other movie he and AJ saw. It was a calming environment, it was odd but… loveable at the same time. It was hard to put into words how to describe this.
This was home. Sure, it wasn’t the same people that grew up here, but the feeling… it was home, for sure.
They all stood up then. Grabbing their plates and things. Already cleaning up the shells from their scraps and walking inside now. A yawn came from Sarah’s lips into which Sam just told her to give him her plate so she can head to bed. She sighed before giving her a plate. That means the heroes were on dish duty, huh?
The side door closes as the two walks into the kitchen. Bucky walked over to the fridge then, putting the lemonade back in there. Though it was very quiet between the two. There was no talking like Bucky thought there would be. But he stood in his spot, watching as Sam washed the dishes. It seemed as if his breath hitched at such a sigh, his back muscles moved as he reached up to grab the wand cleaner. What was this? No, he was annoyed by his whole sight.
“Buck.” Sam starts,
“I uh… Sorry about tonight.” Bucky apologizes though Sam looked confused
“For what?” He asks, he puts the second plate on the drying rack to look at the other,
“I don’t… really know.”
“Hey, if there’s nothing to apologize for, don’t be sorry, ‘kay?”
Bucky nods before looking towards the other room,
“Hey, Bucky?”
Bucky looked back at Sam though Sam only smiled, “I’m glad you’re here.”
Bucky cleared his throat, "Goodnight, Sam.”
“Night, Buck.”
But Bucky didn’t correct him. All he did was head to the room for the night with a small smile on his lips. Maybe this was a good chance.