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Online classes suck. Ask literally anyone who has attended a class over Zoom, and they'll tell you that it sucks. Nobody wants to sit and stare at their laptop screen all day, watching lecturer after lecturer struggle with technology, and Miya Atsumu is no different.
That is, this is the same Miya Atsumu with the most notorious leg bounce known to man, who now unsurprisingly finds it damn near impossible to sit still and stare at this 13-inch-by-9-inch glass rectangle, watching the dowdy old woman on screen drone on and on about bar charts and line graphs.
Who cares! Not Atsumu, that's who.
He eyes himself in the little box allocated to his own face on screen, fixing his bangs as he preens a little. If he's being honest, he spends most of these classes looking at his own face and not the professor's shared screen. Sometimes, if he's particularly feeling himself that day, he even pins his own screen.
Sue him, art is meant to be admired.
And before you ask: no, he's not here to learn, he's here to be the most beautiful person in the Zoom call. And from what he can tell, he's winning. A cursory glance at the sea of bored faces lets him know that his beauty is simply unmatched in this domain: this Zoom call is the Louvre, and he is Mona Lisa.
Atsumu admires his face for a little while more, before he is rudely broken out of his reverie by the dowdy woman on screen calling for him.
"Miya-kun, can you please answer the question on the slide? Remember to unmute yourself, please."
Oh, fuck.
Atsumu absolutely does not know the answer to the question on the slide. How could he, when he's spent the past forty-five minutes perfecting his Narcissus impersonation and not paying even a lick of attention to her pie charts and Venn diagrams?
Welp. Okay, think, Atsumu, think! It's multiple choice, you've got a 25% chance of getting this right - woah, amazing math skills there - no, focus!
"Option C," Atsumu says, with the sort of unbridled confidence only fools have, because as everybody knows, when in doubt you go with option C.
"That is incorrect, Miya-kun."
Well, fuck then. Atsumu flushes in embarrassment. Somewhere in the Zoom call, somebody laughs.
Bastard.
Atsumu’s eyes dart around, looking for the insolent culprit.
"Okay, who didn't mute their mic this time?" Dowdy Old Lady asks tiredly.
"It was me. I apologize, professor," a disembodied voice says.
Atsumu glares around his screen, eyes searching for the speaker. He gasps when he sees who it is. It's a boy with dark curls, a strong jaw and two distinctive moles dotting the side of his forehead.
He's beautiful.
Atsumu wants him gone, immediately.
Look, this town ain't big enough for the two of them, and the Louvre can only house one Mona Lisa. He narrows his eyes, giving Mr. Stunning the stinkiest stink-eye he can manage. Sadly, he does not seem to notice, because he is obediently paying attention to the class.
Nerd.
That's okay, though. Atsumu's patience is endless (this is not at all true, it is very much finite, as almost anyone will tell you, but that's not important right now). He spends the rest of his time continuing to glare at Curly and Gorgeous, only to be ignored in kind. This goes on for another fifteen minutes, before the professor announces the two dreaded words: Breakout Rooms.
A unanimous groan goes around the class, and although everyone is muted, Atsumu swears he hears them all the same. Though maybe it's because he's groaning loud enough to be mistaken for an entire class, but who knows? He rests his cheek in the palm of his hand, reluctantly selecting the option to join the randomly-assigned breakout room. His screen changes, and suddenly dark eyes and pouty lips are staring back at him.
Oh, hell. It's the walking Greek bust. Atsumu unmutes his mic immediately.
"Ha! Pretty Boy! Time for us to get even!"
The boy blushes. "Are you...flirting with me?"
What.
"No?! You're my mortal enemy!" Atsumu yells.
The boy looks confused. "But you called me pretty?"
Atsumu splutters, then glances at his nametag on the rectangle boxing his beautiful face in. "Look, Sakusa? Is that your name? Sakusa Kiyoomi?"
The boy nods.
"Right. Sakusa. I've decided that you're too attractive and therefore I hate you. We're enemies now, got that?"
Sakusa blinks. "Okay. I think you're very handsome too, Miya."
What. What?
"No!" Atsumu cries angrily. "We're enemies. Rivals! You’re not supposed to say that to me, even if it’s true!"
Sakusa frowns. "You're weird. Can we work on the assigned question now?"
"You're asking your enemy to work with you? Fat chance, ha!"
Sakusa's frown deepens. "Oh, what the hell. You're actually so weird. I can't believe I've had a crush on you the entire semester."
As soon as the words are out, he freezes. Atsumu freezes, too. They stay that way for a long while, frozen stock still as they stare at each other on their screens in a mixture of shock and horror. Long enough that when their professor drops in on their room to check on their progress, they still haven't moved.
"Miya-kun? Sakusa-kun?"
No response.
"Ah, is this thing hanging again? Damn this newfangled technology."
She exits the room.
And then the yelling begins in earnest.
"You have a crush on me?!"
"Shut up! Shut up! I take that back!"
"No you can't, no take-backsies allowed!"
"Who the hell says that? What are you, seven?!"
"On a scale of five? Yes."
"Oh my god, please go away."
"I can't! It's a breakout room!"
Mutual glaring resumes. Angry breathing fills the air.
"We’re doing the assignment now. No more nonsense," Sakusa threatens.
"Says the guy with a big fat crush on me," Atsumu goads. "How embarrassing!"
Sakusa's nostrils flare. Atsumu hates that he still looks good like that, and not like a constipated cow simultaneously going into labour, which is what he should look like instead. But he doesn’t, because god is unfair.
"Shut. Up. We're doing the assignment,” Sakusa spits. “Alright, so the first thing we need to do is to consider the case study—”
"Hmm," Atsumu hums, leaning closer to the monitor while he considers a new line of thought that’s just popped into his brain. "Tell you what, Sakusa. I changed my mind. Let's not be enemies."
Sakusa groans. "Can you shut up and read the assignment prompt?"
Wow. Very rude of him, but Atsumu bulldozes on. "Y’know what? I can be Mona Lisa, and you can be Venus de Milo. This Zoom call may be big enough for the both of us after all."
"I have no idea what the fuck you're saying, Miya."
Atsumu sighs. "For a nerd you aren't very quick on the uptake, are you?"
"Miya," Sakusa says warningly. "Read the fucking question, or I swear to god I’ll—”
Atsumu rolls his eyes. "Sakusa. Date me. And we can be the No. 1 joint exhibit at the Louvre."
Sakusa freezes, again.
He does not unfreeze, not even twenty minutes later when Atsumu has to struggle through presenting their assignment solution alone, because fucking Sakusa Kiyoomi decided to actually turn into the statue of Venus minus the Venus.
When class ends, and Atsumu has sufficiently embarrassed himself (god, he knows nothing about this course, he might actually fail this class), Sakusa decides to finally unfreeze himself. They’re the last ones in the Zoom call now.
"Miya,” he croaks. “Go on a virtual date with me to the Louvre?"
Atsumu grins. "And have our faces upstage everything on exhibit? Hell yeah, let’s do it."