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in the shade we'll be

Summary:

“Do you want to?”

“H—huh? What?” Atsushi looked up, startled, and saw Dazai right behind him, peering over his shoulder at the same thing he had been inspecting: goldfish scooping, a popular activity at summer festivals in Japan.

Dazai rocked back and forth on his heels. “Well, don’t be ashamed of your fixation, Atsushi-kun, it’s only natural,” he grinned, the luminescence of the fishtank behind Atsushi illuminating his teeth, which made him look a little creepy. “You’re a cat, after all.”

Or, four times Atsushi and Dazai spent a summer day together + one time that was a little different.

Notes:

long time no see, huh? the last time i've posted a fic was a few months ago... to be honest, the last time i've actually sat down to write fic was a few months ago as well (basically, school has been busy)

in each way, this is my piece for the shunkashuuto dazatsu zine and my theme was summer! it's only april now, but the sun is out and skies are clear where i'm from so i don't think it's not that unfitting for the time of year, especially because i wrote this in the winter haha

you can find the entire zine here and i hope you guys enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

1. He is eighteen, he is twenty-two.

Twinkling with every colour imaginable, lanterns lit up the paths through all the stands and vendors in the evening dark. Atsushi was struggling to keep up to the rest of the group, but it was his first time at a summer festival and there was so much he wanted to see up close. Dazai was the only one as slow as him, disappearing every now and then to annoy Kunikida.

“Do you want to?”

“H—huh? What?” Atsushi looked up, startled, and saw Dazai right behind him, peering over his shoulder at the same thing he had been inspecting: goldfish scooping, a popular activity at summer festivals in Japan.

Dazai rocked back and forth on his heels. “Well, don’t be ashamed of your fixation, Atsushi-kun, it’s only natural,” he grinned, the luminescence of the fishtank behind Atsushi illuminating his teeth, which made him look a little creepy. “You’re a cat, after all.”

Atsushi twisted his mouth. “I’m not a cat, Dazai-san. I’m a tiger.” That being said, as this was his first time at a summer festival, he had been rather interested in trying out some of the games Tanizaki had told him about earlier.

Dazai shrugged, picking off a stray thread on his dark blue yukata and flicking it away. “Tomayto tomahto. Speaking of tomatoes, aren’t you hungry?”

Atsushi didn’t know how to politely say he was always hungry. “I suppose so… Why?”

Dazai enthusiastically clapped his hands and then grabbed Atsushi by the wrist. His hand was particularly cold and stood out in the heat, especially in a place as crowded as a summer festival. Atsushi could feel the imprint of chilly fingers on his wrist, even after Dazai had dragged him to the place he wanted them to be.

The scent of oil hung in the air around the vendor Dazai had taken him to. “Won’t you buy me some fried squid?” Dazai asked, smiling widely.

“What?” Atsushi exclaimed, a no on the tip of his tongue already. He wasn’t exactly a fan of spending money. “Can’t you buy your own fried squid?”

“I forgot my wallet and I didn’t manage to nick Kunikida’s. He’s been learning lately,” Dazai sighed. “Pretty please, Atsushi-kun? I’m so hungry…” When Dazai began pathetically tugging at the sleeve of his yukata, Atsushi knew he had little choice but to give in unless he wanted to be embarrassed any further.

“Fine, fine,” he hissed, pulling out his wallet to hand the seller the few hundred yen.

“Thank you, Atsushi-kun!” Dazai said in the perfect imitation of a child as he was given his food and immediately bit into the steaming flesh. Atsushi winced, but didn’t say anything of it as he often bit into piping-hot meals with no regards for the temperature himself too.

At this point, finding the rest of the agency was going to take up half their evening, so Atsushi and Dazai took to admiring the rest of the festival by themselves. Which turned out to be a rather expensive ordeal for Atsushi.

First, he had to buy Dazai a candy apple to ‘contradict the sourness of the squid’ (so he bought himself one too to help take the sting out of it and immensely enjoyed it). Then, Dazai argued that because of the heat and because of all he ate, he really needed a drink, so Atsushi bought them bottles of ramune.

Dazai’s voice carried over the hubbub of the festival as he told a story of a ghost who allegedly haunted these grounds during summer and lingered by a lone willow tree the rest of the year. However, in between walking around and listening to Dazai’s stories and occasionally chiming in something like, I don’t think ghosts would do that Dazai-san, another thought floated to him.

That Dazai made no sense at all. Dazai was such a strange figure, and yet...  It made Atsushi chuckle to himself. What exactly his mind was all about, he had not the slightest clue.

Which was a problem now that Dazai had suddenly vanished.

Atsushi scoured his surroundings and frantically called Dazai’s name, but all around were strangers. How could that be? Right before Atsushi took a sip of his ramune Dazai was next to him, finishing his story about ghosts.

“Atsushi-kun!”

Atsushi turned sideways to see the man emerge from the crowd. “Dazai-san!”

“There you are,” Dazai said, speaking as if it was Atsushi who suddenly disappeared, instead of vice versa. He was carrying two paper cups in his hands filled with frosty blue and red shaved ice and dropped one of them in Atsushi’s hands. “I was feeling like eating some and figured I ought to treat you to some, too,” Dazai answered before Atsushi could ask. “Have you tried it before?”

“N… no, but thank you.” Atsushi scooped up a big spoonful and brought it to his mouth. It instantly melted on his tongue but it was so sweet and refreshing. “It’s really good!”

Dazai winked. “No problem, Atsushi-kun.”

Atsushi sincerely smiled back. For all his shenanigans, Dazai always found a way to make it up. It was no wonder that Kunikida kept him around despite all his complaints. Dazai truly was…

“Hold on. Didn’t you say you had no money?”

 

 

2. He is nineteen, he is twenty-three.

“Come on, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai urged, aiming his water gun at the boy and shooting right at his face. “I know you’re a fighter, I want to see it.”

“Dazai-san—” Atsushi gasped, trying to dodge, which was hard, because whenever Atsushi backed away, Dazai would follow him. And he unfortunately happened to have a fantastic aim. It was a game they had wasted five minutes for already. “—I really don’t want to do this.”

“Tiger up,” Dazai told him simply, unscrewing the top of the storage and dunking it in the sea to refill it, giving Atsushi the chance to make his case without being interrupted for three seconds.

“Dazai-san, please, I just want to take a peaceful swim,” he pleaded, hating how all he could taste now was sea salt. What he wanted was a peaceful day at the beach with the rest of the Agency members, not… this.

“This is a battlefield and we’re engaging in war,” Dazai said unfeelingly, filling up his water gun again.

The summer heat beat down harshly on his wet, bare chest and back while Dazai aimed at him again. “Can’t we negotiate?!” Atsushi tried, shielding his face for the upcoming stream. 

“No!” Dazai yelled, his water gun making a woosh sound as it emptied all it contained on Atsushi. “Man—tiger—up or perish in battle!”

And so Atsushi did. In a matter of moments, after the flash of Atsushi’s ability and a loud splash of water, Dazai was soaked from top to bottom and ripples were forming around them in the sea from the impact of Atsushi’s tiger arms coming down on them.

He blinked, clearly surprised. Drops of water clung to the curve of his lips and his eyelashes and he looked the part of a (rather cute) wet cat. When he still made no sound after a few seconds, Atsushi worried.

“I’m so sorry, Dazai-san, I only thought because you were encouraging me to fight back and tiger up that I should—” His rambling was interrupted by Dazai’s hand landing gently on his forearm and his limbs reverting to his human ones.

“Stop worrying so much!” Dazai laughed, throwing his head back. “That was a great move there, Atsushi-kun. I didn’t think you would take the ‘tiger up’ so literally, but it certainly worked.”

“O… oh, that’s good. I’m sorry about your hoodie, though,” Atsushi murmured, looking down at the small waves trashing against his knees.

“Don’t worry about that,” Dazai replied, lifting his hand and running it through Atsushi’s soaked hair. It took all of Atsushi’s willpower not to melt. “It’ll dry up soon enough. Besides, we had a lot of fun, didn’t we?”

You had a lot of fun,” Atsushi muttered under his breath.

When he looked up, Dazai had a smile bright enough to rival the sun’s on his face. “Let’s do it again soon, okay?” He suggested.

There was something so genuine about his smile that Atsushi couldn’t help but to agree.

 

 

3. He is twenty, he is twenty-four.

It was a warm and blooming day, a day so lovely that he and Kyouka had been late for work because Kyouka stopped to admire the flowers and trees every once in a while on their way. He couldn’t blame her for that, for they were beautiful indeed and Kunikida was too caught up with Dazai not showing up at all to notice anyway.

Kunikida was kind enough to let the agency members off early on such a day. Ranpo had taken Kyouka and Kenji out to Uzumaki’s to try the new sundaes they added to the menu, and while normally Atsushi would’ve joined them, it was the perfect amount of sunshine and warmth that compelled Atsushi to take a walk through the park.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he strolled through the park, enjoying the sight of cherry trees in full bloom everywhere. A layer of pink petals carpeted the grass where children played with one another and adults lounged on picnic mats.

It was when he rounded a corner that he spotted a lonesome figure sitting on a bench who looked awfully familiar. He only needed to take a few more steps until he could clearly see the brown trench coat and the blinding gleam of his pendant in the sun.

Was this where Dazai had been all day? Atsushi made a beeline for Dazai, who only noticed him when he was right in front of him and had his eyes closed until then. From this angle his pendant no longer shone.

“Ah, Atsushi-kun,” he said with a smile and Atsushi could feel in his bones that it wasn’t entirely genuine, even if nothing else told him that was so. “What a coincidence to see you here. Are you just taking a walk or do you have somewhere to be?”

“I was just taking a walk before I saw you,” Atsushi tentatively replied. He still gave Dazai a small smile back. “What about you? What are you doing?”

“It’s far more enjoyable here, so I did myself the pleasure of skipping work,” Dazai answered nonchalantly. Branches of the cherry tree behind the bench swayed above them in the summer breeze  “Was Kunikida-kun very mad?”

“Not more than usual, if that’s what you mean,” Atsushi said, glancing at the empty spot next to Dazai and gesturing to it. “Do you mind if I...?” He trailed off.

“Be my guest,” Dazai replied, patting the spot on his left where Atsushi sat down and flicking away a stray blossom with his index finger and thumb.

Sometimes Atsushi realized he kind of sucked at keeping conversations going, so he was glad for Dazai’s quick wits that could go through a thousand topics in five minutes in those instances. However, Dazai wasn’t saying anything now. Not knowing what to do with himself, Atsushi opted to pick at the fabric of his pants.

Hopefully it didn’t feel as awkward for Dazai as it felt for Atsushi, but as far as he could tell, Dazai seemed content enough to sit in silence.

“It’s not time for the agency members to head home yet, did Kunikida let you off early or did you leave early on your own accord?” Dazai finally asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Heading home early on my own accord while Kunikida-san was mad at your absence would’ve been a death wish, Dazai-san,” Atsushi answered dryly.

“If he let you off early maybe there was no need for me to skip today, after all,” Dazai hummed.

That piqued Atsushi’s interest and he waited until a loud child and his parents passed them by before inquiring, “Did you have business here?”

Dazai’s face was carefully blank as he stared at something Atsushi couldn’t see. “.... In a fashion.”

That was enough for him to figure out that the reason Dazai was here had nothing to do with work, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t important or had a deeper meaning than Dazai just wanting to slack off. He frowned.

It definitely wasn’t Dazai just slacking off. It couldn’t be. He was acting too weird for that… not like his usual self.

“Are you sad?” Atsushi suddenly asked.

He surprised himself with the question, and from the looks of it, he surprised Dazai, too. His eyes were as big as saucers, clearly caught off guard, and Atsushi felt an apology form on the tip of his tongue, even though he didn’t feel really sorry. 

Then, Dazai laughed. Short, quiet, but also as if Atsushi was the funniest man on earth. It was in stark contrast to the next words he uttered, “Yes, yes, I guess I am. A little bit.”

“Why?” Atsushi asked without hesitation.

Dazai’s mouth was drawn into a thin line and his eyes were hard. “Because I came here with friends, once.”

Atsushi could hear the stress on the word friends. So far, Dazai had only mentioned ‘a friend’ when he talked about his past on those rare occasions scattered throughout the years—always followed up with a joke, something lighthearted to seem like it never happened and Dazai was his jolly old self, only making things up to mess with Atsushi.

But it was only ‘a friend’, the friend. Never more, never plural.

His voice was softer than he intended when he spoke. “What did you guys do?”

“We had a picnic. We bought and brought a lot of snacks and a bottle of saké. We sat on a pink mat and we watched the cherry petals as we drank and talked. It wasn’t anything special.”

This wasn’t the full story, not in the slightest. There was a history there that Atsushi might only have a glimpse of from time to time. Even so, he didn’t have to hear more to know this: “But they were special to you.”

Dazai closed his eyes.

“Yes.” And that was all he said. The part where he said it was only a joke never came. It was honest in a way Atsushi had never experienced from him before.

Atsushi’s hand found his shoulder. It wasn’t enough, probably. He didn’t think it ever would be and he didn’t think he could give it to Dazai. He just hoped that one day Dazai would find what he was looking for, whatever that may be, and do it for himself. That Dazai could face the past, present and future, bested by neither winter snow nor summer heat.

And as the petals fluttered by, Atsushi selfishly wished that when Dazai did, he could be there.

 

 

4.  He is twenty-one, he is twenty-five.

If there is a worse duty to be assigned to than this, Atsushi would like to hear it now so he could comfort himself with it. Although, with the sweltering heat addling his thoughts, he might not have the braincells to do so. The 40 degree celsius was killing him, even with the blinds closed to keep out the scorching sunlight.

Dazai was in a worse state, having to fan himself with a few pages of the stack of paperwork on his desk for cool air. Atsushi was lucky Kyouka had left him a mini toy fan when she left, blowing small amounts of air in his face, sparing himself a tired wrist.

And to think Atsushi could’ve joined the others while they went out to find shade and refreshment if it wasn’t for Dazai. The man had to stay behind and watch over the office while Kunikida fetched the plumbers to fix their AC. And it had to be Dazai specifically, who needed to complete his paperwork according to Kunikida.

But Kunikida also didn’t trust to leave Dazai all alone in the office, so Atsushi had to watch over Dazai watching over the office while he did his paperwork. Which he wasn’t doing and Atsushi honestly didn’t feel like reprimanding him for. It was too hot for that.

“Hey, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai spoke up, having swivelled his chair around to face Atsushi. He dropped the pages on his desk and made a circle motion with his wrist to soothe it. “Distract me from this terrible, awful heat.”

“How?”

“Tell me something interesting, anything will do. This heat is out to kill me and I don’t want to die like this, so you need to make it a little better,” Dazai sighed.

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here,” Atsushi grumbled. He didn’t want to talk too much, because talking made his mouth and throat dry, which meant he had to drink the gross lukewarm water in his bottle.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was the sun that caused the heat and the one who caused the broken AC,” Dazai snipped back.

“You are akin to the irritating heat, though.”

A few years back Atsushi wouldn’t have dreamt of being so disrespectful to Dazai, the man who saved his life and allowed him to find a purpose in the Armed Detective Agency. Now, Atsushi could barely shut up. A man as ridiculous as Dazai deserved the comments and comebacks.

Dazai smirked at that. “Are you calling me hot, Atsushi-kun?”

Heat climbed up his neck, which was really bothering in this kind of weather. “Absolutely not,” he vehemently denied.

Not that Dazai wasn’t physically pleasant to look at, he’s always been that. He just didn’t need to know it from Atsushi.

“Oh, come on, not even a little?” Dazai prompted, leaning forward. His grin stretched out large across his face. “There’s got to be a reason why you like me, Atsushi-kun. Just say it’s because of my good looks.”

Atsushi frowned. Dazai was probably just joking, but he didn’t like the idea that despite all the comments he had on him, Dazai didn’t know how much Atsushi truly appreciated him. Especially because Dazai had evaded Atsushi’s appreciation, going as far as running away after Atsushi handed him flowers while thanking him for everything he’d done. 

“I like you for your personality, Dazai-san,” Atsushi said bluntly.

It was quiet for a moment and Dazai’s eyes widened. “You like me for my what?” He repeated incredulously.

Atsushi smiled. Even after all these years, seeing Dazai truly surprised was a rare sight. “Yeah, you’re such a constant in my life, I can’t imagine my life without you. You’re annoying, yes, but Kunikida-kun says you’re the second best detective we have, so you’re a huge help to people in need, and I agree. You’ve gotten kind of funnier, too.”

Dazai abruptly picked up a few pages of his paperwork and began furiously fanning himself. “I’ve always been funny. Your sense of humour just changed for the better,” he replied stiffly. “And... it’s you.”

“It’s me, what?”

Dazai lowered his head and from Atsushi’s angle, his eyes hidden behind his bangs. “It’s you who’s done so well. You’ve grown a lot, Atsushi-kun. You saved so many people in these past years and you’ve done a great job defeating our enemies. I’m glad I was able to be there.”

Atsushi bit on his lip to prevent his smile from becoming too big, because praise was still something he very much enjoyed receiving. His cheeks coloured red, he said, “Thank you, Dazai-san.”

It was silent after that, but the air, hot as it already was, was charged with something Atsushi couldn’t quite put his finger on. All he knew is that he wanted to stay in it a little longer, that he wanted to reach out and brush Dazai’s hair away.

The tension broke when the door opened and Kunikida entered, followed by a middle-aged man in uniform Atsushi guessed was the plumber. “Dazai, Atsushi, I’m here with the plumber—hey, why are slacking off, Dazai?!”

Some things just never change.

 

 

+1 He is twenty-two, he is twenty-six.

The first day was fine. He hadn’t expected Dazai to have to leave so suddenly for an important job in Tokyo. Sure, they had planned to go to the beach and summer festivals together, but they could postpone that easily. It was only for a week after all, and Atsushi had gone through periods where he hadn’t seen Dazai for months.

(And those months had been terrible, but putting that aside.)

The second day he’d felt a little down. It was the perfect summer temperature, hot enough to make you feel it, but not excessively so. Days like those were perfect for walking around town and eating cold food with friends, which he luckily had. And yet, he could only remember Dazai once telling him how much he enjoyed those days with the Agency and wished he was here with them.

The third day was when the temperatures began to rise and he was forced to work outside to solve a few petty crimes. Annoyance crawled under his skin and his patience wore thin. Already unhappy with the situation, the texts he got from when he came home didn’t help. “It’s a tough case. Super Outdated, so evidence is scarce. I like it though, but I might have to extend my trip.”

He just hoped Dazai was having a good time in Tokyo.

It only went downhill after that. The last days before his official summer break the AC broke down again and he was forced to finish his remaining paperwork sweating bullets, only to come home and find out he needed to replace his showerhead for a proper bath. Then, after a trip to the furniture store, he noticed he had left some files at home and had to go back to the office to deliver them.

Worst of all, Dazai had suddenly stopped responding to his messages. Usually, the man would reply as fast as possible, even when Atsushi knew he was supposed to be investigating.

Now it’d been twenty hours since Dazai’s last reply, being late at night when he said he’d go to sleep. The 40 degrees celsius weather notification that blinked on his phone every time he went to check if Dazai had replied to his messages seemed to taunt him. Especially because if Dazai hadn’t left, they would’ve gone to a summer festival by now.

He had to be having a really productive day, or he was still sleeping. Maybe he just forgot to reply. But none of those really made sense… Although, admittedly, Dazai had been the type of guy to text back three hours late, until recently for Atsushi at least. He got back to him much faster the last few months.

In fact, when Dazai was needed in a certain timeframe for whatever reason and he wasn’t present, it’d become a habit of the other members to simply go to him and ask him to pass on the message instead of approaching himself.

Atsushi bit on his lip. The funny feeling in his stomach whenever he glanced at Dazai’s profile picture wouldn’t subside, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that no matter what, Dazai was fine. The man could have a spot in the Guiness Book of Records for how impressively he avoided death even though he was faced to it day after day.

But Dazai dying was the last thing he wanted to think about. The summer heat was killing him and frying his brain. He wouldn’t be able to think logically about Dazai’s reason for not replying without panicking if he went on with thoughts like that.

Atsushi set his phone down with a decisive thud on his table. He was going to stop being pathetic about Dazai not texting back, brush his teeth and go to sleep.

Not three seconds later his phone buzzed and Atsushi practically snatched his phone back, fumbling to unlock it and look at whoever sent him a message.

It was Yosano. Atsushi frowned; only something important could’ve prompted her to message him this late in the evening.

Yosano-sensei: Hey Atsushi-kun, I just wanted to let you know Dazai’s in the hospital. He had a heatstroke, but he’s stable now according to the doctors.

Atsushi’s heart dropped and he felt his insides go cold. That was why Dazai wasn’t responding to his messages.

Atsushi: How did that happen? How long? And he’s still in Tokyo?
Yosano-sensei: No, he’s back in Yokohama, but his symptoms must’ve gotten so bad during the trainride he apparently fainted when he arrived. Someone called an ambulance for him and he was brought to the hospital. Doctor friend recognized him and called me, but he’s been there for hours already.
Atsushi: I’m going to see him right now. Thanks for letting me know.

He didn’t wait for Yosano’s reply and called a cab instead, putting on a simple black shirt and his office pants in the meantime. His fingers were trembling when he opened the door of the car and he choked out, “to the Medical Center, please.”

He was picking at his nails while the roads went by in smudges of artificial street and shop lighting, thinking of Dazai and how could’ve gotten himself in such a situation. He couldn’t even find it in himself to search up what exactly a heatstroke entailed before it freaked him out entirely.

The man behind the desk at the hospital gave him a polite smile when Atsushi approached. “How can I help you with, sir?”

“My—my friend. Co-worker, Dazai Osamu. He’s suffered a heat stroke. I was just notified and I want to visit him.”

“And you’re—?”

“Desperately in love with him,” he blurted out.

The attendant blinked. Atsushi froze.

Oh. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? He’d been in love with Dazai all this time. That explained his erratic behaviour with Dazai’s absence. And only his subconscious had known, until now.

“Eh, Nakajima Atsushi, I mean,” he corrected with a sheepish smile, pointedly ignoring his inner turmoil. It hardly mattered right now anyway, not with Dazai’s current state. He could and should only focus on that.

He answered questions and listened as the attendant gave directions as patiently as he could before breaking into a half-run to find Dazai. He’d been in the unit with cooling equipment first, but got relocated an hour or so back to be tended to by nurses and have a doctor check up on him occasionally.

Atsushi practically burst into the room, where it was appropriately cold, and stopped short when he saw him. The man in question was laying on a bed hooked up to a monitor, wearing only his dress shirt and trousers. When he came closer, Atsushi saw red blotches where the bandages didn’t reach all over his body and his heart ached.

“Dazai-san, I… I heard—from Yosano-sensei—that you were in the hospital and you suffered a heat stroke and—are you okay?” He rambled, not even knowing if he was awake.

Dazai’s eyes opened slowly, as lovely brown but sharp as ever. “Atsushi-kun,” he said, his lips stretching into a smile. “I’m fine. I was too hot, but I’m cool now.”

The knot in Atsushi’s stomach loosened considerably and Atsushi sucked in a breath of relief. “How did you even get yourself in this situation?”

The man had the sense to look a little embarrassed. He began to sit up. “I was so busy with the case I forgot to take care of myself. And y’know, running around in the summer in a big city to come home in a crowded train and wearing as many layers as I do is not ideal.”

“You’re the type of person who decides to skip work after one inconvenience has occurred, but in the full heat you decided to overexert yourself?” Atsushi summed up in disbelief.

Dazai brought a hand to his forehead. “I really wanted to finish the case before the train left.”

Atsushi tilted his head to the side. “Why? Even without the extension, you were to stay for another day.”

“I wanted to surprise you.” Dazai met his gaze with gentle eyes and a teasing smile. “I thought that seeing Atsushi-kun’s shocked expression with a cute little blush when I suddenly appeared, having solved the tough case already, would be worth it.”

“That still doesn’t… You could’ve...” Atsushi searched for an answer in Dazai’s gaze he wouldn’t find unless he asked for it.

And even those answers weren’t enough. “You’ve become older, Atsushi-kun. It’s hard to surprise you nowadays.”

“Maybe you’ve gotten more predictable,” Atsushi whispered, still half uncomprehending. Should he chalk this up to Dazai’s antics he could never understand?

“Me? Predictable?” Dazai scoffed. “Never.”

It was silent after that until Atsushi remembered he still had something important to say. He poked Dazai’s arm and sternly said, “I don’t care what your reason was, don’t you dare put yourself in jeopardy like that again. Drink more water, eat some ice cream, but don’t neglect yourself. I know you’re an expert in evading death, but you still nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Dazai broke out into a laugh. “God, I’m in love with you,” he said in an amused voice.

Atsushi stilled.

“I’m trying to explain something here,” Dazai continued, and Atsushi swore that if he didn’t stop looking at him with soft eyes, he was going to kiss him, tell him to take better care of himself, and kiss him some more.

But his lips were too dry to kiss him right now and all he could do was stare with his mouth half-open. It was so silent he could hear his heart pounding against his ribs. He audibly swallowed and turned his gaze to the white sheets of Dazai’s bed and sand coloured tiles on the ground.

“I think I’m in love with you, too,” Atsushi confessed, reaching out to intertwine Dazai’s fingers with his own. “I think I just figured it out, honestly. I blurted it out to the attendant and it just… made sense. I’ve been moping around and missing you all week.

Something like joy blossomed on Dazai’s face. “Yeah?”

Atsushi chuckled. “I don’t recommend it to myself is all, being away from you when there were so many summer activities we could’ve done together.”

“You’re right. Having a heatstroke all on my own sucks, you should’ve been there,” Dazai joked.

“I wish! If I was there, I could’ve prevented you from getting one in the first place…” A crease appeared in between Atsushi’s eyebrows. “You’re sure you’re okay now, though?”

Dazai nodded, shifting a bit on the bed. “I feel perfectly fine. It’s very nice and cool in here.”

“And when will you be able to leave?” Atsushi asked, a small smile appearing on his face

“I need to stay for a day so they can check for any complications. Why?” 

Atsushi leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Dazai’s cheek. “Good, because I want to go on a date with you after that—in the shade.”

Notes:

all's well that ends well <3

comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!

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