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Cherry blossoms are a symbolic flower of the spring, a time of renewal, and the fleeting nature of life. After their beauty peaks around two weeks, the blossoms start to fall.
They first met at ISC.
Before the relay, to be exact. One tore his name tag and the other gave his up and for a moment, they could have been friends.
But then the race started. They were opponents. Enemies. They couldn't both win.
And then Daehyun tripped and Youngjoon carried him to the finish line and they both won- because of a technicality. After all, they crossed the finish line at the same time, and it was just easier for the judges to give them both first.
Wyld had to help Daehyun over to MAYHEM's chairs. Youngjoon felt a bit guilty for just handing him off, but...
MAYHEM are the enemies. He's not supposed to help them. Or fall for them.
But he did anyway.
Youngjoon fell for Daehyun, and it hurt him just that bit more when he heard them both hit the mats during the wrestling competition.
So he helped Daehyun to his feet and handed him off to one of his groupmates.
He tried to ignore the lump in his throat as he headed back to SA1NT.
He thought that'd be it, that they'd meet, they'd compete, and never see each other again.
But then he saw Daehyun in a cafe with the redhead in his group, and he had a chance.
He didn't take it. Daehyun left before he could say a word.
Youngjoon went home with a half-drunk peach tea and a sore throat and the horrible feeling that he'd missed something.
It got no better when MAYHEM announced a comeback, either.
Youngjoon never thought he'd have a crush on someone with pastel blue hair.
But there Daehyun was, and Youngjoon could only sit there with the teaser image on his screen.
How ironic that he, someone who seemed so out of reach to most people, was in love with someone who was out of reach for him.
XR gave them a spring comeback. Fitting for a group like SA1NT.
They'd be busy preparing all of February, and then March would be booked with promotions. They'd finish just in time to watch the cherry blossoms bloom.
It was stupid, but Youngjoon kept daydreaming. Daydreaming about watching the cherry blossoms with Daehyun, something that could never happen. He knows they barely know each other — he doesn't even have Daehyun's phone number — but the idea sticks. And he keeps daydreaming, no matter how heavy it makes his chest feel.
Minsung points it out while they're filming the music video, a light tease about how the hair dye must have finally gotten to him. Youngjoon just laughs.
Still, he hopes it's just a passing phase. That maybe it was the hair dye.
It took a while to get his hair to be pastel pink, after all. Just like the cherry blossoms.
Taeseok's is purple still — at his request, the youngest quite likes his hair — and Hyunjin's is mint. Kyunghun's hair, blond with golden highlights, has small flowers braided into it, and Minsung's is a shockingly white-silver blond.
Youngjoon's just happy that no one's hair is blue.
He doesn't want to know how badly his chest would ache if that were to happen.
Promotions, as expected, go well. They finish two days before March ends, and it still seems a bit too cold for it to be spring yet. Regardless, Taeseok and Hyunjin are planning a picnic date to see the cherry blossoms.
It's exactly the kind of thing Youngjoon wishes he and Daehyun could do. He says nothing about that, though, gives no hint that he wishes he could do with a boyfriend and instead accepts Kyunghun's invitation to join him and Minsung on a picnic.
Maybe that's all he wants. Maybe he just wants to see the cherry blossoms.
Maybe it will make his love hurt less.
It's a brisk April morning when they head out. The first day of the blossoms truly blooming, according to Minsung.
The parks are full of other picnickers — Youngjoon has a feeling they might spot Hyunjin and Taeseok at some point — and the trees are a brilliant pastel pink, the same shade as Youngjoon's hair.
Kyunghun's smiling the entire walk, a tote bag of snacks and drinks over his shoulder. Minsung is too, and it's nice to see them so relaxed for once, especially after their month of non-stop promotions.
Youngjoon, too, smiles a bit. Maybe this is what he needed. He just needed to spend some time with his friends outside of work, to spend some time outside of the stuffy practice room.
It's nice.
They spend a few hours just relaxing, joking around, and enjoying the view of the pink blossoms. Kyunghun, as always, remembered to get their favorite snacks, and Minsung bought the drinks.
After a comeback, especially the hectic schedule that SA1NT is used to, this is a pleasant change of pace.
So they enjoy it while they can, until the April sun heats up around late morning and their bags are empty.
Minsung collects the trash, and before Youngjoon can offer to help, Kyunghun's already folded their picnic blanket away.
So Youngjoon wanders ahead of the other two, eyes idly scanning the crowd. Who knows, maybe he will spot Hyunjin and Taeseok.
Everyone's hair, it seems, is black. Black and more black and more black and more black and red and-
blond.
Youngjoon freezes, eyes trained on Daehyun sitting a few yards away with Wyld.
He looks happy, hair fluffy in the slight breeze and seemingly just dyed. He's smiling. At Wyld.
Daehyun's happy without him.
The ever-present lump in Youngjoon's throat feels as though it's doubled. He clears his throat to no avail, instead just making his throat itch.
He coughs. And coughs again.
A perfect pink cherry blossom petal lands in his hand.
Youngjoon stares at it, horror dawning on him.
"Aish... Joon-ah, did you inhale a petal?" Minsung appears from seemingly nowhere, staring at the pink flower in Youngjoon's hand.
Kyunghun laughs a bit. "Is it like that encore stage?"
Minsung cackles and Youngjoon flushes pink at the memory of the time he inhaled confetti.
The same color as the petal in his hand.
People aren't supposed to cough up petals. Youngjoon knows that much.
So he searches it up.
There's a part of him that wishes he didn't.
Hanahaki. It's practically guaranteed to kill him, at the rate his relationship with Daehyun is going. They haven't even exchanged numbers, much less become friends.
What makes it worse is the flower.
Cherry blossoms. They bloom for two weeks and then die. He's bound to receive the same fate.
Youngjoon stares at his phone for a while, mind drifting towards complete hysteria, and then he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror.
How fitting that his hair is pink.
Youngjoon's exhausted the next morning. He couldn't sleep, especially not after his... discovery.
The last thing he wants is to worry the others. So he loops a face mask on (to catch any stray petals) and tugs his hood up and heads to Coffee Days.
The usual grumpy barista — Junsu? — stands behind the counter and rolls his eyes a bit when Youngjoon steps up to order.
"Do you know what you want this time?"
Youngjoon laughs awkwardly. "...yeah. Same as last time, a large iced peach tea."
Junsu just nods, writing the order down on a cup before announcing the total to Youngjoon. It's not unreasonably pricey, one of the reasons he likes coming to Coffee Days.
As usual, it doesn't take too long for his drink to be made, and Youngjoon quickly takes a seat near the back of the store, close to the bathrooms. It's a quiet day in an already quiet cafe, so he chooses to just sit and enjoy the peacefulness.
It doesn't last long, though.
The door swings open again.
Daehyun walks in.
Panicked, Youngjoon pulls his mask and hood up, hoping that glancing down at his phone will prevent Daehyun from noticing him.
Of course, it doesn't.
The younger taps on the table a few minutes later, iced tea in his free hand. "Is anyone sitting here?"
Youngjoon just shakes his head, peeking up just in time to see Daehyun grin at him.
"I haven't seen you since ISC, Young J-"
"...Youngjoon's fine."
"Oh! Alright, Youngjoon-ssi!"
"Daehyun-ah, you can just call me hyung."
Daehyun looks up and blinks at Youngjoon for a second, surprise clearly painted on his face. But he just gives a soft smile before sipping at his tea.
Youngjoon shouldn't be acting so carefree. He knows that. This is dangerous for him. He can feel a lump in his throat, but he ignores it. Daehyun's nice to spend time with, he's sweet and conversation with him is easy. He doesn't even comment on Youngjoon wearing a mask inside, even when he's got a partially drunk tea next to him.
There's a crawling sense of guilt that Youngjoon feels when he eventually excuses himself to go to the bathroom.
He walks in, locks a stall behind him, and tries not to cough too loudly as he hacks up pink blossoms into the toilet.
There are so many.
There shouldn't be so many, it's barely the first day he's been coughing up petals, Hanahaki isn't supposed to act so quickly-
his does act that quickly, though. Those damn cherry blossoms.
He can't go anywhere. What if he bumps into Daehyun? What if he can't stop coughing up petals? What will the press think?
He'll be forced to get the surgery for sure. There's no doubting that. And he doesn't want it. He loves Daehyun, loves being in love with Daehyun, and the thought of not loving him barely even processes in Youngjoon's mind.
He is in love with Daehyun. That's just a fact.
Daehyun doesn't love him back. That, too, is a fact.
Blood starts coming up around the fifth. An awful, angry crimson on the usually soft pink petals that fill the toilet.
Youngjoon just leans against the wall and sinks to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest.
He's not panicking. He knew it would progress this quickly — according to most of what he read, blood can start to show up from days 5-7. Stage three of Hanahaki.
It should take weeks, normally. If he had a normal flower. But no. Of course it can't.
He knows exactly how he's going to die. Exactly how the cherry blossoms will kill him.
Stage one, the "dormant" stage. The time from when he saw and fell in love with Daehyun to the start of the cherry blossom season.
Stage two, the bloom. When he started coughing up petals. It can last from 5-6 days, but he just had to draw the short end of the stick.
Stage three. Blood. Supposedly, it only lasts for 4-6 days.
Stage four, the "purge." It starts as soon as stage three ends. The luckier bunch, whose stage three ends on the twelfth day, only have to deal with two days of this. The unluckier, whose stage three ends on the ninth day, have to deal with five.
Youngjoon hopes he's lucky enough for his stage three to last nearly a week. Then he'll only have to spend three days vomiting blood and petals.
There's a stage 5, though. It only lasts for a few hours during the fourteenth — the final — day. Even just reading about it makes it easy for Youngjoon to understand why so many people with Hanahaki choose to jump.
For those few hours, he'll be fighting a losing fight to get rid of the flowers. For those few hours, he'll be able to do nothing but choke on petals, and eventually drown in his own blood. It's not a pleasant way to go, but apparently, it's a morbidly beautiful thing to find.
A corpse surrounded by flowers.
Youngjoon switches to a new mask. Thick black fabric, so that blood won't stain it. It's even shaped in such a way that if he does cough up petals, no one can notice.
It's not like he's going anywhere, really. Unless Kyunghun drags him shopping.
It's just groceries. That's all it is.
Still, he's scared. Scared that he'll see Daehyun and start coughing up flowers in public. Scared that the press will see, and he just knows that would be a scandal.
So he keeps his head down and his mask and hood up and lets Kyunghun grab what they need from the shelves. He's just the guy pushing the cart, this way. It's easier to hide.
Still, fear lingers in the back of his mind. Someone could spot him. Daehyun could spot him. He could start coughing up flowers in the middle of a store and someone would get it on video and wouldn't the media just love some scandal like that.
After all, Youngjoon is not lucky. Especially not when it comes to something like love.
Still, it takes him by surprise when he hears his name called.
"Joonie-hyung!"
Daehyun's standing at the end of the aisle, grinning. Another member of his — D.Min, from the looks of things — walks towards something else.
Youngjoon offers a shy wave, cheeks flushed a brilliant red. As expected, Daehyun returns it eagerly before running off after his groupmate.
"...how do you know MAYHEM's maknae?" Kyunghun, holding a loaf of bread, stares questioningly.
"I- uh... it's... it's a long story..."
"...sure. You're just friends, right?"
Youngjoon holds his hands up in surrender. "We're just friends, Kyung-ah, I swear."
There's a lump in his throat again.
"I'll be right back... bathroom."
Kyunghun shoots him a look, but Youngjoon pays it no mind. Instead, he walks off, searching for some sign pointing him to a bathroom.
He can feel the petals slowing building in his throat. He can feel them.
Panic starts to build as he walks through the aisles, but he finally spots a sign, and he darts towards in and down a hallway and past the door and he locks himself in a stall.
Youngjoon's barely able to pull his mask down before blood and petals spill from his lips, weak coughs racking his body.
The smell of blood makes him sick.
He's not supposed to feel sick.
I'm only on stage three. I'm only on stage three. I'm only on stage three.
While in the store, Youngjoon had thought (hoped) that Kyunghun's questioning was over.
He was wrong.
The younger cornered him in the kitchen under the guise of putting away groceries. Now bags litter the floor and food sits on the counters, ready to be organized.
And then Kyungun strikes, as blunt and to-the-point as ever, once again holding a loaf of bread.
"...you said it was a long story, but I'd like to know how you and Daehyun met. That... is his name, right?"
Youngjoon pauses, a carton of milk in hand. "Yeah. It's Daehyun... we... uh, well, we kinda became friends at ISC-"
"No, I know that. You've met him other places though, right?"
"...well... yeah. We didn't plan to meet up or anything... I only got his number a... a week ago?"
Kyunghun sighs. Youngjoon can't tell if he's relieved or not. "That's good to know. I'm just... worried, y'know? That he might try to use your name to make his group more popular?"
"Daehyun wouldn't do that." Youngjoon's aware that he sounds mad — he tries not to, usually. He's already 6'2", he doesn't need to scare anyone else off — and he doesn't care.
"How do you-"
"Believe me, Kyunghun-ah. He wouldn't have given up his nametag just to get his group some fame."
"...I forgot he had done that..."
Youngjoon lets the fridge slam shut, turning to grab the cartons of fruit from the counter. "Exactly. He wouldn't use a friend for fame."
Kyunghun grabs his wrist, though, pulling him to face him. "...you've got something on your lip... just the corner, though. Were you wearing lipstick?"
A chill runs down Youngjoon's spine. Gingerly, he wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, and —
a red smudge. Blood.
"...I'll finish putting this stuff away, go... take care of that, I guess."
"...thanks."
For the second time that day, Youngjoon darts to the bathroom.
Sure enough, the corner of his mouth is stained red.
And when he opens his mouth, so are his teeth.
And tongue.
All a horrible bloody red.
When Youngjoon wakes up, it's the ninth day.
He should be scared, shouldn't he?
He feels fine, though.
So he gets out of bed and walks over to his mirror.
He looks normal.
His teeth are white, he's no slimmer than he was the day before, his hair's still messy as it usually is.
For a moment, Youngjoon thinks he's fine.
And then he catches a glimpse of his bed in the mirror. There's a small pile of bloody petals next to his pillow.
For a moment, Youngjoon nearly screams.
Aside from having to wash his sheets, the ninth day isn't going badly.
SA1NT had a great breakfast together, and Hyunjin and Taeseok promised to be out of the house most of the day — no one knows where they're going, but that's ok — and Kyunghun hasn't even pressed any more questions about Daehyun.
It's going smoothly. Almost too smoothly.
Regardless, Youngjoon flops onto his bed — simply with the duvet on, as the rest of his sheets are in the washing machine — and decides to pull his phone out.
Daehyun's texted.
He shouldn't talk to Daehyun, not right now. But...
He does.
Daehyun
Daehyun
hi joonie!
i haven't texted you much, have i (_ _|||)
Youngjoon
good morning, dae!
dw about it, you guys seem busy ^^;
you shouldn't have to miss me
Daehyun
>:( we're friends, though
right?
we should talk more often :D
Youngjoon
you're right
we should...
who knows if we'll have time to in the future ^^;
i'll be dead in less than a week
Daehyun
What do you mean?
neither of us is dying or anything
ahhh do u mean promotions?
Youngjoon
i mean mayhem's gonna be famous one day
and I'll have to go to the military in a couple years
so... it could be a while
i won't have to worry about the military, i guess...
Daehyun
TT-TT
i forgot you had that coming up...
Youngjoon
Not for a few years!
we still have time now :D
well, not much...
Daehyun
yay :] i like talking with you
Before he can second-guess himself, Youngjoon sends a heart emoji.
He sets his phone down.
He feels the lump in his throat again.
Sighing, he gets to his feet and walks to his bathroom, tiredly taking a seat on the edge of the tub and waiting for the petals to want to leave.
And the blood.
He doesn't like thinking about the blood, though. It makes him feel sick. And, well...
he's not sure if he's just sick from the blood anymore.
"...Youngjoon-ah?"
After a quick glance in the mirror — no, the blood's not on his face anymore — Youngjoon hesitates, rubbing his arm.
There's a gentle knock on the bathroom door. Minsung.
Youngjoon's still light-headed, legs cramping from having sat on the floor for too long.
He unlocks the bathroom door.
"...you can come in..."
"I... it sounded like you were throwing up... are you okay...?" Minsung pokes his head in, messy hair crammed into his usual white beanie. His eyes meet Youngjoon's.
"...I'll be fine... probably just need to-"
"You look sick, Joon-ah..." Minsung thinks for a moment, and then finally gives a short nod. "C'mon, you need to rest. I'll ask Kyunghun to make some soup..."
It's too simple, really. No more questions are asked.
Youngjoon's already exhausted, and he feels sick. Technically, he is, but it's more of a curse. Either way, Minsung's suggestion to rest sounds far too nice to Youngjoon.
Someone made his bed at some point — how long was he in the bathroom? The washing machine had just started when he and Daehyun were texting — and apparently, Minsung spots his confusion.
"We've got extra sets of sheets, remember? They're in the hall closet?"
Youngjoon just gives a tired nod, letting Minsung push him onto his bed. For a second he thinks the older looks worried. But maybe it's just a trick of the light.
Minsung presses a wrist to his forehead. "...you're not running a fever... I guess that's a good thing... I'll go grab some water for you, anyway. It can't hurt."
He must have fallen asleep for a while, because Youngjoon wakes up to a dim room — the blinds are closed, for once — and he's tucked in, his phone charging on the nightstand.
He's still exhausted. It must be because of the blood loss.
In all honesty, he doesn't mind just lying there. His head doesn't hurt, nor does he have a lump in his throat. It still burns, though, and he swears he can still taste the blood.
"...are you awake?"
It's Kyunghun, this time.
Youngjoon nods, sleep blurring his mind, and just watches as Kyunghun comes to sit on the edge of his bed.
"I don't think you've ever gotten sick..."
"...no..."
Kyunghun gives a small smile, squeezing Youngjoon's hand. "...do you want anything to eat?"
Youngjoon hesitates.
Whatever he eats is just going to get thrown up.
There's not much point.
He shakes his head.
Kyunghun nods, but frowns. "That's ok... just drink some water, yeah? And rest."
"Mhm... g'night, Kyunghun-ah."
Before he leaves, Kyunghun ruffles his hair — something he usually only does with the maknaes. It's gentle. Fond, even. Youngjoon decides he likes it.
Once his bedroom door is shut, it doesn't take long for Youngjoon to fall asleep again.
Minsung wakes up to Youngjoon coughing. He squints at the clock — is it really 1 am? — and slides out of bed to check on the younger.
His bathroom door's locked.
Panicked, Minsung knocks. "Youngjoon-ah? Are you okay?"
There's no response.
Minsung's pretty sure that Youngjoon's throwing up again.
Hurriedly, he looks for the spare key, something that Youngjoon apparently took the liberty of hiding, and comes up empty-handed.
Hyunjin stands in the doorway, a barely-awake Taeseok clinging to his waist. "'s hyung sick again?"
"...yeah... do you know where his spare key would be?"
"...try above the door? He's tall... 's something he would do..."
Taeseok hums in agreement. "'s rude of him... how'm I supposed to reach it."
Minsung just shakes his head and jumps, swiping his hand across the top of the doorframe. Sure enough, the key rests in his hand.
Then Kyunghun comes rushing through the doorway, holding... something in his arms. "Did he lock himself in?"
"I've got the key, don't worry. Hyunjin, Taeseok, you can go back to bed if you'd like."
"...that sounds good... tell hyung we hope he's alright. C'mon, Seokkie." Hyunjin grabs Taeseok's hand and pulls him down the hallway.
"...was Taeseok asleep??"
Minsung just shrugs, turning the key in the lock. The door swings open.
Youngjoon's just sitting on the bathroom floor, a tired bleariness clear on his face. He barely even reacts to Kyunghun sitting next to him, setting the bowl (??) that he brought with him on the floor.
It's... hard to tell exactly what's going on. Youngjoon's clearly exhausted, they can't figure out if he still feels like he's going to throw up, and he still doesn't have a fever.
Finally, Kyunghun just shrugs at Minsung. "...I think he just needs to sleep?"
Minsung nods, sliding Youngjoon's arm over his shoulder and helping him off the floor. Still, he barely reacts.
Once they've got him in bed, Kyunghun manages to get him to take some medicine. Youngjoon falls asleep soon after.
Neither Minsung nor Kyunghun says anything. But something is wrong.
It's a cycle. Wake up alone, text Daehyun, throw up, and then get fussed over until he falls asleep again.
Surely Daehyun's annoyed by his irregular hours of texting. He'd never say it, but he has to be.
Youngjoon's even getting bored of it. So, in a moment of either bravery or stupidity, he sends Daehyun a single text on the twelfth day.
"I'm gonna be gone for the next couple of days ^^; recordings and stuff."
Daehyun had replied with a smile, and wishing that their schedules go well.
Youngjoon doesn't feel a lump in his throat, this time. Instead, there's a pit in his stomach.
He shouldn't lie to Daehyun. But he did.
By the morning of the 13th day, Youngjoon's back to walking around as if everything's normal. It's not. He's very clearly lost weight over the past few days, and the bags under his eyes are worse than ever.
No one comments. Kyunghun just makes sure he eats, and Minsung pushes him to take naps if he feels like it, and usually, Youngjoon follows their advice.
He doesn't seem to be throwing up.
But he still seems sick.
At 7:36 pm, there's an unread message from Daehyun.
"Hi hyung! I know you said you're busy, but I was wondering when we could meet up again ^^;?"
Youngjoon doesn't have time.
"Is tonight a choice?"
"Sure :D!!
"Can you meet me at the Han River?"
"It's a bit far, so I might be late ^^; but sure!!"
"Great. See you soon!"
Before anyone can ask what he's doing, Youngjoon pulls on a clean hoodie and jeans. He's out the door in minutes, and no one notices him leave.
He doesn't know if he'll come back.
Daehyun jogs a bit, one of SA1NT's songs playing through his earbuds.
Youngjoon said he's on a bridge... I'm almost there!
His feet hit the asphalt, then the sidewalk, and then, finally, the bridge. The cold air bites at his cheeks and nose, but he doesn't mind it.
It's pretty at night.
Ahead, he sees a lone figure sitting on a bench. The pink hood of their sweatshirt is pulled up. It's Youngjoon.
Cheerfully, Daehyun slides onto the bench next to him. And then he actually looks.
Youngjoon looks... sick. His cheeks are sunken in and pale and his eyes, too, seem dim compared to when they last saw each other.
He's shivering.
Daehyun slips his jacket off and places it over the older's shoulders. Youngjoon offers a tired nod in return.
"...hyung, are you... feeling okay?"
"It's fine, Dae-yah. I'll be fine."
"......but I'm worried. You... you don't look okay."
Youngjoon gives the faintest hint of a smile, eyelids fluttering shut for a moment. "'m just tired..."
"...we can talk later, then, You need-"
"We can't, actually. Did you... have something you wanted to say?"
Daehyun freezes, a million questions on his mind. Youngjoon looks to him, their eyes meeting. And Daehyun just stares.
"What do you- we've got... time... and I do have something to say, but... I'm... I'm worried. Are you sure you're okay?"
Youngjoon tries to nod, but quickly dissolves into a coughing fit. He almost seems to be sliding away from Daehyun on the bench.
"Hyung, are you-"
"Please don't touch me," Youngjoon chokes out. "I'm fine, I swear."
Before Daehyun can say another word, Youngjoon slips a mask from his pocket and loops it over his ears. He's still coughing, albeit weaker.
"...you should go home, hyung, I think you're sick..."
"What did you want to say?"
Daehyun stares at Youngjoon again.
"...what happened to you...? You're..."
"..just say it, Dae-yah, please."
His eyes gaze over Youngjoon's slouched shoulders and thin wrists, dim eyes and limp hair, and then he looks out to the water,
Suddenly, fear grips him. He squeezes Youngjoon's slim hand as tightly as he can.
"You're not dying, are you?"
Youngjoon says nothing.
"...please answer me, hyung, I-"
"What were you gonna say?"
There's some sort of defeated calmness in the way Youngjoon is. Daehyun's afraid of it. But he loves him.
"It's stupid... just forget it."
"Daehyun-ah..."
Daehyun lets go of Youngjoon's hand.
"....you're gonna hate me for it."
"I promise I won't."
"Promise you won't die?"
Youngjoon hesitates. "....I promise."
Daehyun nods stiffly. "Okay! Okay then... I... I guess I'll just say it, then..." The night air's cold to his lungs, cold enough that it burns as he takes a deep breath.
"...I know... we're not really close, and I'm really... really just your junior, but I... I think I love you...?"
"...what?"
Daehyun won't look up. "...I love you. I'm sorry."
It's silent. Just the wind.
And then Youngjoon's coughing again.
Daehyun doesn't stare this time. He wants to run. But something's wrong.
It's impulsive, and probably stupid but—
Youngjoon's knees hit the concrete, he's holding onto the guardrail for support, he's choking dying save him save him SAVE HIM —
Daehyun pulls his mask down.
Bloody cherry blossoms begin to flutter to the pavement.
"H-hyung, what... what? You said... you said you're fine, you promised-"
Another round of coughing hits Youngjoon like a tsunami, hands still clutching desperately to the rail as blood splatters against the pavement. He wants to say something, needs to, but he can barely breathe and he can't move and it feels like his lungs are collapsing and Daehyun's still there.
"I- I'm calling an ambulance. Just.... just hang on, okay?"
His vision starts to go black around the edges as more coughs rack his body. He can feel the flowers — full flowers, now — in his throat, and blood's spilling from his lips and he is going to die here.
Daehyun sounds like he's underwater. He can't see. Can't smell anything other than blood or taste anything but blood or feel anything but his body giving one last fight.
Youngjoon knows he is going to die. Three feet from Daehyun, on a bridge at night, and he never will get a happily ever after.
...maybe death is his happy ending.
Youngjoon knows he's supposed to be dead.
But he can smell what must be bleach and hear the faint beeping of machines, along with quiet conversation that could only be a few feet away.
The light burns his eyes as he blinks a bit. So he keeps them closed.
Someone's laying next to him, their head on his shoulder and an arm thrown over his stomach.
He blinks again. Slowly, his vision fades from white, and then he can tell who it is.
Daehyun. Daehyun, wearing a hoodie that must have been stolen from his closet, blond hair as fluffy as ever.
SA1NT and MAYHEM seem to be talking just behind the curtain surrounding his bed.
Youngjoon doesn't mind it.
He squeezes Daehyun's hand a bit. The younger blinks for a moment and then yawns, sleepy eyes finally staring back at Youngjoon's.
His throat aches but really, Youngjoon doesn't care. Carefully, he cups Daehyun's face and gently kisses the tip of his nose.
"I love you, Dae-yah."
Daehyun's eyes are watering, but he leans forward anyways, lips meeting Youngjoon's.
Youngjoon can feel tears running down his face.
"I love you too, Joonie-hyung."
Outside, the trees are green again.