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Before we got on the plane to Japan I was waiting at the airport when my mom handed me some money. She asked me to buy something while we waiting. I took the money and thought of going over to the vending machines or getting something to drink but then an idea popped into my mind. I wanted a journal. I looked around for plain ones, it seemed they only had sparkles an unicorn journals for young girls or sports themed for young boys. I kept looking before I found a soft olive green journal. $6.99. Of course I bought it. I also bought a pencil, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write yet, but I decided I would wait to write until I got to Okinawa. I saw my mom wave me over and we got on the plane. I told her I bought a journal and she smiled. Almost as if she wanted me to buy a journal.
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Entry 1
I didn’t think moving would be this hard. I think it was because we left something important behind. My Dad died in Canada. My mom decided it would be best for us to move to her home town, I wasn’t entirely against it. I had stopped snowboarding here for a while since my dad passing, I also didn’t have many friends left there anyways. I used to snowboard a lot, almost every day. It was my everything. Then my everything fell apart. I didn’t think snowboarding was that dangerous, until you decide to go on an unmapped trail. That’s how my dad passed, he thought going off trails would be nice, but there was a very steep hill that lead to a cliff. My dad didn’t have time to stop before he fell. It wasn’t the same without him. But, i’m okay now. I start school tomorrow. I hope I at least make one friend. Just so I won’t be lonely. Is that too much to ask?
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Entry 2
I’m back from school today, and I think I have a friend. His name is Reki and he has red hair and he skateboards. He tried to show me how to skate but it was hard, seeing him skate was really cool though. He also makes skateboards isn’t that amazing? Anyways, he said he would teach me how to skate. Maybe snowboarding could guide me here. He seems really nice and I think we are going to be good friends. I hope skating is as fun as snowboarding was.
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Entry 3
I seriously didn’t think somewhere like Okinawa had things so dangerous like “S”. Apparently it’s this illegal skateboarding competition. Me and Reki went tonight, and I skateboarded against someone? It was weird. Working at Dope Sketch we deliver skateboards to people at “S”, today wasn’t different except Reki mixed up the boards because we were running late. Instead of the board Manager Oka had for us, Reki accidentally grabbed a work-in-progress board instead of the real board. It was a whole mess, I did end up winning that race though, skateboarding may be fun. I hope Mom isn’t too concerned. But, I’d be surprised if she wasn’t.
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Entry 4
I’m getting better at skateboarding now. Reki is such an amazing teacher, he’s so cool too. I wonder why he doesn’t have more friends. He deserves them more than I do. He taught me how to do more tricks today. After I did my first skateboarding ollie Reki seemed to teach me a lot of harder things. I had only learned to get off the ground a day ago! I think he may just be excited, skateboarding is really fun. I also went to another S competition. These two skaters named Cherry Blossom and Joe raced. (Reki told me that the races in S are called “Beefs” how funny) While Cherry Blossom and Joe had their beef they just fought the whole time. I don’t understand why all those girls who going googly eyes over them. I guess I don’t understand women.
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Entry 5
I have a good understanding of S now, I just figured out all of this mess when some 13 year old comes into Dope Sketch. I’m not sure his name, I don’t remember it. I do remember that he had black hair, a green hoodie, and black shorts. Oh, the hoodie hat cat ears and a tail on it. Reki seemed surprised when he saw him. Maybe he was some major deal in the skateboarding world. He challenged me to a beef at S, Why me though? Reki was way better than me and could obviously do it. But maybe the cat boy kid thought I was some big deal because I used to snowboard. I guess i’ll tell you how this beef goes. Reki picks me up in about 10 minutes anyways.
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Entry 6
That was wild. So apparently that kids name is Miya Chinen, a skateboarder who is on a Japan team. I didn’t know they had those. Anyways, I won the beef we had, but only by about an inch. It was very close. Then I heard some guy in the crowd shout a name. The name “Adam”. I didn’t know who Adam was, all I knew from tonight was that he was a huge deal at S. Like a big deal. He came up to me after I won and began talking to me, I didn’t really know what he was saying until he asked if he could touch me. And that threw me off guard. I don’t even know how old this guy is either, is it legal in Japan to touch people under the age of 18? I mean he DID ask me if he could, but I still don’t think that’s right. After, that Adam guy challenged Reki to a beef, I hope Reki will be okay, I would hate to see him get hurt. I think Reki only accepted because Adam was being rude to Miya. Honestly, I don’t know if i’ll like this Adam guy. He doesn’t seem cool.
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Entry 7
So Reki skated against that Adam guy in a beef. I hate him. He hurt Reki so badly he had to go to the hospital at 1 am. I hope his mom isn’t too concerned, bless her. I’m going to skate against that Adam guy. I didn’t think I would admit it but he is a really good skater. I want to see if I could skate against someone like that. I also want to win, because he hurt Reki. While at S, Reki and I have seemed to form some kind of skating group, in this group was me, Reki (obviously) Miya Chinen, Cherry Blossom, Joe and Shadow. I skated against Shadow at my first time at S (when Reki messed up the boards). Apparently Joe owns an Italian restaurant. Cherry Blossom taught me some things about how to beat Adam, or atleast not to get hurt by him. Adam does this thing called a “love hug” and it apparently wipes out his opponent. It got Reki. I wondered how Cherry Blossom and Joe knew so much about this Adam guy, have they skated before? I am new to this whole S thing so maybe. I’ll ask Reki about it later. I’m actually kind of excited to skate against Adam.
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Entry 8
So Reki doesn’t want me to skate against Adam. Totally understandable, however, he won’t change my mind. I have my mind set on this, I have to do it. Me and Reki made a promise too, he doesn’t want me to be reckless. So, as long as i’m not reckless he’ll let me skate against Adam right? He never made me promise not to, I guess it’ll be okay. We are going to this hot spring this weekend too. I’m quite excited. Sure, Canada has beaches but far from where I live. I’ve never been to a beach in my life, those are in the warmer areas in Canada. My main focus in life was snowboarding anyways. I hope it goes well.
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Entry 9
I skated against Adam. And I DODGED his love hug. He kept touching me a lot too. He kept asking if I was scared. Deep down, I was probably terrified. But those feelings were buried deep down with the feeling of adrenaline and excitement. It was fun. This was exciting. I don’t know what Reki was so worried about? As a skater doesn’t he know what this is like? Maybe he just didn’t like skating against Adam. But it’s okay, I’m okay, Reki doesn’t have to worry about me anymore.
—
Entry 10
I have a crush on this stupid red-head.
What am I going to do
—
Entry 11
I’m going crazy or something. Why have I not noticed this before? Have I always liked Reki like this? Has it always been like this? Since when do I like boys? Is it just Reki? The way he looked at the beach was everything. I cant even describe it without going red. Seriously I can’t do this. Maybe it was just today. It’s okay to think your best friend is a little bit but maybe a lot attractive right? It isn’t weird. I’m okay. But this trip should have been the death of me, these mud creatures chased me and Reki and he fell but I caught him. I CAUGHT HIM. My hand was on his waist and I SAVED him from falling. He looked at me like i’m some sort of hero. Maybe I need sleep. I’m going to sleep now this is too much.
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Entry 12
Besides finding out that I may like Reki way more than I thought, the vacation was good. Sure the hotel Shadow booked was small but we got a good dinner at least. When we got back from the hot springs it was really late. Like really late. I fell asleep as soon as my head it the pillow. When I woke up, Reki was on the floor. I was confused but I just decided to leave him there. After taking a few pictures to send to him later of course. Breakfast was good, we went back to Cherry’s hotel which had very good food. After that we packed up and went back home.
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Entry 13
I’ll probably write more about this day later but I was at S today, As I usually do at night, but tonight was different. Adam was here, I wondered if he had a beef with anybody but it turns out he didn’t. He was hosting a competition for who was the best skater. I obviously wanted to enter, but then I remembered Reki. And what Reki had said. He doesn’t like Adam. I decided I would just talk to him about it, maybe he would let me enter and we could both enter and skate together. That’s what I hoped for at least.
—
Entry 14
Something was wrong with Reki, but I couldn’t tell what it was. Today was normal, we went to S tonight and I remember not seeing Reki there much, maybe he was tired or something. But I didn’t see him at all. Even when I left I didn’t see him. I went by his house a bit later and his mom said he wasn’t there. I was concerned, he wasn’t answering my texts or calls. I walked away from his house, maybe I’ll just see him tomorrow but as I turned I saw him, it was raining and he didn’t have his headband on. His clothes were soaked. I told him about Adams competition. I told him I wanted to enter. He brought up the promise and how I said I wouldn’t go against Adam again, I know I said that but I just needed him to listen, for once. I tried to apologize but he yelled at me. Reki never yelled at me before. I felt my heart sink. I know that in order to skate against Adam I had to break the promise but I didn’t want to, I never wanted to. He began to walk away but I couldn’t let it end there. I tried to explain how I felt, I felt excited. I thought he would understand too but I guess not. He told me he was scared. He walked away but before we left I heard him say something, he said “We aren’t a good match anymore”. He left me there. What am I supposed to do without him?
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Entry 15
Reki is officially ignoring me. What did I do wrong? Is it because I want to skate with Adam? It’s bad enough having a crush on him but now he probably hates me. I don’t want to drop out of the competition but I will if it means I can have Reki back. I feel alone without him, I AM alone without him. I want to skip S today. Maybe I will. I probably will.
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Entry 16
I cant go out of my room ever again. Not after the dinner I just had with my mom. Before I went to S, I explained to my mom what was going on. How I got into a fight with a friend, I never told her it was Reki but I talk about him so much I thought she would assume. She told me I should be honest with my feelings, but I couldn’t do that, not to Reki. I wanted to take her advice, I thought about it for a second before she asked if I like this person. The thing was, I DO like Reki. I really do. But hearing it made me go crazy. I told her I did like them and she told me I should be honest if I really like “her” I forgot we were talking about two different people. I questioned her. She was confused. I’m confused. I like Reki, Reki who is a boy, not a girl. Honestly, I’ll give her credit for helping me even if we aren’t talking about the same person.
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Entry 17
S was insane. I saw Reki. I saw him, he yelled my name. He was there watching me. I went up against Joe, but I didn’t feel it. The excitement, the love for skating. I won my beef against Joe, but only barely. He really is an amazing skater. Adam and Cherry had their beef too, I don’t remember much other than Adam completely assaulting Cherry. He hit him with his skateboard, I think I understand better why Reki didn’t want me to skate against him. I tried to find Reki but I couldn’t, he was gone. And after my beef with Joe my board broke. What am I going to do? I cant just go up to him and ask him to fix my board. That’s not how friendships work. I’ll have to talk to him somehow.
—
Entry 18
I saw Reki, I did. I could have sworn that was him. I was at the hospital with Joe because Shadow was there, something happened because of S and he got hurt. Cherry was still in the hospital because of his injuries but he’s better now. I don’t know where Reki is now but I saw him. I saw Miya come up a few seconds later, he said he saw Reki downstairs, but Miya looked sad. I wonder what happened.
—
Entry 19
Today couldn’t have been better. I saw Reki again but HE came to see ME. I was at the skatepark we always go to and I hear him, and he’s there. I look at him and he’s looking at me and he suddenly gets embarrassed, it’s quite cute actually. (I still haven’t been able to figure out this stupid crush I have on him). I ask him to skate with me, which we do. We skate, we laugh, and I think about it. I think about Reki. And then I crashed into him. Right into him. I think he hurt him head a bit, but I couldn’t help but laugh. Just thinking about it. About Reki. About these stupid feelings. I tell him he’s amazing. And I talked way too long, I made him blush. I want to see Reki blush again, he’s never done it before. I’m glad we’re okay. We are infinity, as we both agreed. We even added an infinity sign to our dap. I’m so thankful for Reki Kyan in my life.
—
Entry 20
Usually nothing weird happens at work, me and Reki would screw around until manager Oka told us to quit slaking off. Some man came in and Reki gasped. He said he was the man from the “love hotel” whatever that is, Oka looked concerned. Reki was embarrassed, I’ll have to ask him what a love hotel is later. The man handed Reki a card, or actually it was an invitation. And invitation to a beef with Adam. Reki had been hurt from Adam before, yet he still wanted to go against him. Life was certainly confusing.
—
Entry 21
Reki’s beef with Adam is happening in an hour, we aren’t there yet so i’m writing in this. I went over Reki’s house earlier, it was raining but it looks like it cleared up for the beef. Reki was showing me the wheels you can put on skateboards because my board broke. I also decided to take off the foot clips. It was Reki’s suggestion. I’m scared for him honestly, but just a little bit. I know that he knows what to expect from Adam now. Adam was dangerous, we both knew that. But somehow we still run into danger like that. It’s strange, but life would be boring without it right? Anyways, I better get ready to go. I’ll write about how the beef goes.
—
Entry 22
The beef went well, Reki just went home. Sure it’s 3 am but I need to write about it. Adam was throwing Reki around like a rag doll. I knew Reki wouldn’t give up then though, and he didn’t. It actually started raining! Reki, being the smart, amazing, perfect, beautiful person he was had these gripped wheels. He didn’t slip at all in the rain! He would have won in the end too, if his wheels hadn’t popped off. Adam treated him horribly. Reki looked happy though. “It was fun.” he said. I believe it. After the beef we went to my house, luckily my mom wasn’t home. I want her to meet Reki in a better way. Adam dragged Reki against a wall and he was bleeding and hurt everywhere. I helped clean his bruises and cuts. I saw his back too, it was awful. Horribly bruised and red. I wanted to hug him, maybe I would soon. Am I too obvious with this crush?
—
Entry 23
Since Reki lost the beef with Adam I had a beef against him. It was at this abandoned place, where S was before the old mine place. Cherry and Joe told us that it was too dangerous to skate there, and that’s why they moved to the other place. Adam was in a new outfit this time. It was more.. like a grim reaper? It was weird. Before we started our beef Reki made me promise to win. Made me promise to be okay. I would try my best, of course I would. I would do all I could for Reki. My beef with Adam was different from what most people at S have ever seen. I even fell off of a steep wood board. I thought I was going to die. I really did. Then I saw my board, “Fun”, that was all I needed. It reminded me of Reki. Reki, that I loved so much. Reki that I wanted to live for. It reminded me of him, when he taught me skating, when we became best friends, even our fight, when we told each other we were going to be together for infinity. I promised to him I would be with him for infinity. That was a promise I would hate myself for breaking. I grabbed my board and I skated. I skated more than I ever did. I ended up winning the beef. Reki was right there waiting for me. This was it. I jumped off my board into Reki, into his arms. I kissed him. Wrapping my hand around his head to avoid him getting hurt as I landed on top of him. It didn’t matter if I won, It didn’t matter if I was hurt. I was kissing Reki. That’s all that mattered right now. Thinking about it is crazy. I never imagined this. I looked at him and pulled apart. He was blushing furiously, it was adorable. I told him I loved him, I hoped he felt the same. He smiled at me and I knew he loved me back. It was amazing, i’ve never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend back in Canada, I never even had a real friend before Reki. I should probably stop writing now, Reki is asleep at my house. I’ll write more tomorrow.
—
Entry 24
Did I forget to mention that me and Reki are dating now? It was all just insane yesterday. The beef, Reki, and today. We were going to have a party or something on the roof of Dope Sketch. Cherry, and Joe, and Miya, and Shadow and everyone was there. Importantly, Reki was there. As my boyfriend, we hadn’t told anyone yet. He didn’t want the attention, and I guess I didn’t either. Not yet at least. When we were both more comfortable and together longer we would tell them. I’m happy though. I don’t think I was this happy in a long time. I wasn’t happy like this after my dad passed and I really didn’t think I would be happy like this again. But I am. It also looks like this is the last page of the small journal I got at the airport. I’m going to keep this though. It’s memories. Some day I’ll show Reki, and tell him about it. How I felt about everything. But for now this is goodbye. I’m running out of room anyways.
- Langa Hasegawa (Kyan? No way, too soon for that get a hold of yourself)