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Jin knew he was handsome and many people told him so. He was aware of the beautiful face and if the author of this story was supposed to write all the (not only physical) gorgeous features he had, this story would be probably endless.
Sometimes, he got a lot of praise and his life was easier in certain ways thanks to his looks. He got a job as a model, which (except for the dieting) was pretty simple, and he received countless gifts and date invitations. He got away with a lot of things and sometimes even a cute pout would gain him a good grade or a free coffee.
But there was also the other side of the coin.
This beauty carried its own curse which was constantly making the boy unhappy. The curse that he didn't know how to reverse or turn off and he would give all the beauty away just to stop it.
Everyone who fell in love with him died.
And that meant that he would never feel anyone's love.
He had been sad and devasted but as the time went on, he had gotten used to it - used to the loneliness and emptiness. He hadn't wanted to pity himself or hate himself. He still had wanted to have fun.
So that was what he did. He went on dates and hooked up with people. It didn't matter if they were men or women. He had never fallen in love, all the meetings and intimate moments didn't carry any value for him whatsoever. Yes, sometimes someone accidentally died, especially if they have been on multiple dates but Jin always shrugged it off, pushing it to the back of his mind.
Having fun was not the only reason why he did this. He was afraid. Afraid that he himself would fall in love with this one specific person.
Jin didn't have many friends. There was only one person, which held a very special place in his heart. Could it be called love? Maybe. But Jin didn't want to admit it to himself.
It was his childhood best friend Namjoon. They had met in the first grade and they had been inseparable ever since. They had gone to a middle school and a high school together and their colleges had been only an hour away from each other. They had kept in touch the whole time and now, both graduates, they lived only a few minutes away.
Their friendship had always been very... loving, too loving for being called 'friends'. They held each other's hand in public, hugging was very common and when they got drunk, they often had these hot make-out sessions. And when the loneliness got to them, they pushed it a little further and things went from 0 to 100 real quick.
There was no problem though. They were both single adults.
And although they were so close, Namjoon didn't know about the secret of the older.
Jin was afraid that if he knew, he would ruin their relationship and Namjoon would hate him and leave him. And he loved the other too much.
Loved?
Loved...
"And I don't like dogs."
Jin stared at the woman in front of him.
"Well, I guess we can end it here then," he said, finishing his glass of wine. The woman's eyebrows rose to the roof.
"What?"
"Bye," he said and got up, placing the money on the table and walking out.
He breathed out when he stood outside. His eyes fell on the sky, which was painted with many shades of purple, orange and blue. He looked at the time on his phone.
6.05 pm. That means Namjoon was going to be still at work.
He smiled a little and made his way to the tall building only a few minutes away from the restaurant he had had his date in.
The door opened and he walked right into the lobby. He made his way to the elevators and soon he was knocking on Namjoon's office door.
"Come in," the deep voice said and the latter opened the door, smiling at the taller male in a suit.
Namjoon rose his gaze from the papers and his eyes lit up.
"Hi, Seokjin."
"Hi Joonie," the older closed the door and walked up to him, engulfing him in his embrace.
The taller smiled and wrapped his arms around him back. Seokjin sat on the desk and swung his legs back and forth.
"I guess the date didn't go well...?"
Jin nodded with a pout on his face.
"She didn't even like dogs," he said, staring at the handsome features of his friend.
He loved men in glasses and suits. He loved Namjoon in glasses and a suit. He looked so educated, so important, so rich and God knows Jin loved expensive stuff.
Namjoon moved his glasses up his nose.
"When do you end?"
"Umm," Namjoon looked at the clock, "in like a half an hour?"
"Maybe we could spend that time more meaningfully...," Jin said, playing with his hair.
"What do you mean?" the other's gaze rose.
"I've never had sex in an office."
Namjoon giggled.
"Yes, you have. We fucked here a month ago, Jin."
The older rolled his eyes.
"You gotta ruin all the fun," he hit his shoulder lightly, "but I was invited to this party and maybe we could go."
Namjoon hummed in response.
"Pwease, pwease," Jin did his puppy eyes at Namjoon and rubbed his hands like a little child. The latter looked at him and sighed.
How could he say no to this handsome face?
"Okay."
Jin grinned and pecked Namjoon's lips, which curved into a smile.
The older got up and walked up to the huge window in his office, which showed the beautiful view of Seoul. Namjoon walked up to him, smiling at the sight of light shining on Jin's handsome features. He wrapped his hands around his small waist and kissed his neck, which caused the other to shiver, goosebumps on this body. He laid his head on Jin's broad shoulders, staring to the same direction as the shorter.
"Maybe I should end early since you're already here," Namjoon said after a while of silence.
"You definitely should," Jin smiled, still looking at the view.
"Okay," Namjoon nodded and his arms left his waist. Jin frowned lightly as the cold air engulfed him instead of the warm body of the latter.
...
Jin knocked at the door, which was almost immediately opened by a tall man. He looked at them and smiled.
"Hi, Jin Hyung," he exclaimed happily, "so you came."
"Yeah," the older nodded.
"That's so great!" he opened the door more, letting the two men in, "and who is that cutie?" he winked at Namjoon.
"My boyfriend, so stay away."
Namjoon widened his eyes in surprise and he wanted to say something but decided to rather keep his mouth closed and only nodded.
The other guy pouted.
"Too bad, you always snatch the most handsome ones, Hyung," he said, closed the door behind them and got lost in the crowd of people.
"Why did you call me that?" the taller asked Jin, a smile playing on his face. The latter thought for a while, not really wanting to answer. He didn't really know why he had said that but he didn't want his friend to stare at Namjoon, talk to Namjoon or even worse - get physical with Namjoon. Jin's blood boiled just at the thought of it.
"Ummm... he is a pig. Doesn't treat his partners right."
"Maybe I could've made a friend," Namjoon pouted but Jin scoffed.
"He looked at you like you're a piece of meat, like he wanted to fuck you. He didn't want to make friends."
"Why does that bother you, Jin?" the taller teased but the latter didn't answer and walked inside a kitchen. He would need alcohol. Lots of alcohol.
Namjoon followed him without a word and watched as the latter poured some liquor inside a cup. Jin didn't look at him, only interested in getting drunk as fast as possible.
Namjoon also took a cup and drank but slower than his friend. He watched over him, his gaze never leaving Jin. He knew how wild the latter was when his blood was filled with alcohol but after a certain number of cups, he didn't have to be worried about losing him; he was right by his side, cuddling him.
The taller sat on the sofa and his eyes followed Jin, who was now dancing to the song in the crowd. The latter was a horrible dancer, but it made the younger smile.
Jin jumped around to the rhythm and his eyes met Namjoon's. He smiled at him but continued to dance. The younger was watching him lovingly as everything disappeared, the only thing that he could focus on was Jin. He took a sip from the cup and smiled.
The song ended and Jin came closer to him, his breathing heavy, drops of sweat covering his forehead.
"Namjoon-ah!" He stood next to him but bent over to be closer. "Come dance with me!"
The taller shook his head but smiled. Jin took his hand and pulled him lightly but he was too tired and too drunk to have the energy for it. He sat next to Namjoon with a sigh.
The older finished his cup and placed it on the table. They were both quiet, only music filling the silence.
Jin brought his knees closer and hugged them with one hand.
"Joonie~" he pouted, "how are you handsome?" he caressed his cheek lightly and the taller smiled, showing his dimples.
"Awww!" he exclaimed and squeezed Namjoon's face, "so cute, handsome, beautiful, gorgeous, everything!"
"Calm down, baby," Namjoon giggled and felt Jin's lips kissing his cheek.
"You're so incredible. And talented. And everything! You're so amazing, Joonie!" the latter showered the taller with love and his face with pecks. And the younger loved every second of the affection.
Jin hid his face in the crook of his neck and breathed in Namjoon's scent. He hugged him and closed his eyes. The younger's arms wrapped around his waist.
"You smell so good, Joonie," he purred, his voice muffled and the latter squirmed a little, Jin's breath tickling him. He ran his hand through the younger's hair and messaged his skull.
Jin pulled away and immediately sat astride on Namjoon's lap as their gazes met. The younger could see the beautiful drunk eyes of the latter, which were shining brightly.
Jin wrapped his arms around Namjoon's neck, while the other's hands rested on his hips. He smiled drunkenly and licked his lips seductively while winking. He leaned in, kissing the younger.
The atmosphere thickened around them, a completely different mood in the air.
Their making out was messy, a chaotic mix of their tongues and lips. They were breathing heavily, their skin touching making squelchy sounds. In the background, there was loud music playing and people were talking over it, laughing, but both boys pushed it aside somewhere to the back of their mind.
Jin's hand ran through Namjoon's hair and played with it as his second hand cupped his face, gently stroking his cheek. His pelvis moved slightly forward and backwards to the rhythm of their kisses and Namjoon's hand travelled down and up his hips. He cupped Jin's butt cheeks, giving it a little squeeze. The older purred, moaned almost and grinned against the latter, whose hand was now on his back, holding him close.
They were kissing for several seconds or minutes, who knows. Jin was quietly whimpering and slightly grinding on the latter, who was slowly getting hard only from the friction. Namjoon held him close, getting drunk from his scent, from his lips, from him. His hands were continuously travelling from his waist to his butt in the rhythm of the kiss. Their lips were colliding again and again, their tongues dancing to an inaudible song.
"Jin?" Namjoon pulled away from the kiss but the latter moved to his neck, nibbling gently.
"Hmm?" the older mumbled.
Namjoon breathed out and closed his eyes.
"I love you."
Jin stopped in his tracks immediately. He pulled away, his breathing quickening. His eyes filled with tears as he looked at Namjoon and shook his head.
"No. No. No," he repeated over and over, sobering up suddenly. The tears streamed down his face and he covered his mouth with his hand, "please no, no-"
Confusion was written on his face as he watched Jin.
"L-look i-if you don't like me back, then it's fine, I don't wanna lose y-"
"No, you don't understand, Namjoon. I don't want you to die, I don't...," he sobbed, his body violently shaking.
"Jinnie," the latter tugged his hair behind his ear and smiling, "I'm not dying, baby."
"You cannot love me! Y-you cannot! Y-you will die!"
"Why would I die, Jinnie? Shh, calm down," he caressed his wet cheek.
"I won't di- ouch," Namjoon breathed in sharply as the pain began to spread through his chest. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, his hand placed on his chest.
"No, please, no, Joonie stay with me," Jin said, his voice and eyes full of worry, "please, please I need you!" he sobbed, fat tears rolling down his cheeks.
Namjoon's breathing got shallow, the pain spreading through his entire body. Tears streamed down his cheek and he groaned, his whole body trembling. He didn't hear Jin's begging nor his sobs, he didn't see his face nor his tears, the only thing that he could focus on was the pain in his legs, arms and torso as if someone was pulling him apart, cell after cell after cell.
Jin held him close and he began to feel the weight of Namjoon's body. The latter breathed out and after many seconds of pain, he fell into darkness.
"No, please, Namjoon! Please, Joonie! Please! I love you so much! Please!"
He felt the younger breathed out above him, the full weight laid onto him but yet he felt as he didn't hold anything. The only heavy thing was the pain when he imagined his life without his Joonie. He felt as if he couldn't breathe, the sadness was a stone on his chest.
"Please," he sobbed and whispered, "Please, I love you so much. Please, don't leave me..."
...
One year later
Jin stared at the grave and sighed. He placed the flowers on the stone, his heart heavy.
He should forget, holding onto him was useless. He was not coming back anyway.
The tears streamed down his face and he wiped them off quickly as his gaze didn't leave the grave.
Everyone told him that it wasn't his fault but he couldn't help but feel guilty. The voice in his head told him that countless times. Maybe if he did things differently, maybe if he-
A pair of strong arms stopped the stream of negative thoughts. He closed his eyes but sobbed loudly. He placed his hands on the arms of the latter.
"Jin, stop doing this again," the man said, "it's not your fault. Stop beating yourself up."
"B-but-"
"I understand that you're sad. But please, stop beating yourself up over his death."
"But it's so hard," Jin turned and wrapped his arms around the man, "I loved him so much...," he closed his eyes and hid his face in his neck.
"I know... I know...," the man rubbed his back in a soothing manner, "I know no one can replace Joonie. But you gotta move on."
Jin sniffled, his eyes filling with tears again.
"He was the goodest boy ever. He was so adorable. I mean, his paws were so cute and the muzzle and he loved to cuddle and he was trying to bark like a big dog and-"
"Jinnie, stop hyperventilating," the latter chuckled lightly, "Yes, he was. But he's in a better place now, okay? He's not hurting anymore," the man wiped his tears away and smiled lightly at him, "you took the best care of him, okay? His cancer wasn't your fault. You did everything right. So now, let's go home, okay?"
Jin nodded. The man took his hand and walked slowly to their car. Their fingers intertwined.
"You know, Jinnie," the man pierced the silence, "the name was a bit weird. When you'll get another puppy, maybe consider not giving him my name."...