Work Text:
To the poor sap or as you will now be referred to as possible target practice, my name is Mickey. I'm one of the father's of my precious little girl. For you however I can be a good person, take a note, we are not friends. We will never be friends. Or I can be your worst nightmare. If you wanna date my princess we're gonna discuss a few things. The fuck are you shaking for? You never seen a gun or a pool cue before? Such a fuckin pussy.
Here are my rules for dating my princess. Learn them , live them, memorize them, I don't like repeating myself so pay attention with your upstairs brain and not the one in your pants.
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1. Don't.
2. I will never like you. However I will tolerate you for my little girl.
3. Be very clear, I'm everywhere. Never underestimate me.
4. If you make my baby cry, you'll be crying more like a scared little wuss.
5. If you wanna take her out. Don't. If you wanna go out, the living room is a good place to go. Where me and her other father can watch you.
6. Keep all body parts to yourself. If you fail to do so I'll break every bone in your fucking body.
Why the fuck are you shaking like a little bitch? What are you a chihuahua? Anyway since your pussy ass is still here moving on.
7. You hurt my princess in any way. You will end up at the bottom of the river and will never be seen or heard from again.
8. Keep it in your pants. If you fail to do so, I'll cut your balls off.
9. Just know I've been to jail. Hell I've been to prison. None of it scares me. If anything I'll make jail my bitch.
10. You lie to me and well. Things won't be so good for you.
11. We're not friends. We will never be friends. Learn it, live it, memorize it.
12. If you pressure my little girl into anything, I'll press you into the river.
Alright enough with the shaking with your Chihuahua pussy ass. If you wanna date my princess you follow these rules. If you break any and I mean any of the rules, I'll break every bone in your body. Are we clear on that? Because if not we can go over them again with my pool cue.