Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The crowd wasn’t large, not by a long shot. The room was decently packed though, having come to see an up and coming band that had just emerged from a seemingly long hiatus. The venue itself wasn’t all that fancy either, the floor sticky from spilled soda drinks and the smell rivaling that of a teenage change room in high school. The lighting was also a bit too bright, shining neon pinks and greens in the performers faces.

Maybe all of these qualities are what Min-gi Park and Ryan Akagi were drawn to.

It had been about 2 years, give or take, since the two had reunited and revived their old band, Chicken Choice Judy. At first, when they decided to go touring in America, it was a slow process, booking whatever venues they could find. It was (according to Min’s research) the most optimal way to spread their name across the nation. It wasn’t the most foolproof plan, but it was their start. Now, they stood in front of their newest venue in Minnesota, both men exhausted from their 6 hour long road trip from Iowa, swapping drivers every gas station they came across, occasionally buying the weirdest snacks they could find and making fun of them until they reached the next gas station.

The autumn wind nipped at their necks standing in front of the venue, but never shuddered at the cold. They lived in Canada for most of their lives, this was nothing compared to home.

Ryan was the first to break their silence, looking at Min-gi with his hands tucked into his pockets, “Well, the bar sign could have been more flashy, right?” He gestured to the bright neon sign that read ‘Jukebox swing’, a lady in fishnets kicking her glowing legs in the air once in a while.

Min-gi snorted, looking at the sign with renewed amusement, “Well yeah, if it’s Chicken Choice Judy that’s playing here, it’s gotta be the flashiest thing on earth.”

The two shared a brief laugh, warming their hearts from the cold.

Without another word, they stepped into the venue, immediately noticing the bar was filled with couples drinking their hearts away, ordering everything they could see on the menu behind the bartender.

Ryan snapped Min out of his trance with a nudge to the arm, pointing to the liquor taps behind the counter, “Have you ever tried that stuff? Apparently it’s the hardest hooch in the country.”

“H-huh? Course not man, you think we have the money to buy that?” Min raised his eyebrow in confusion, already doing the mental math in his head on how much it would cost for 2 drinks. ...Well, he wasn’t going to admit he wasn’t curious about what American beer would taste like. Min considered himself pretty good when it comes to restraint, but Ryan already made it too tempting with all that begging he’d do. Stupid shining eyes…

Although, Ryan had already left Min’s side to look around the bar, enamored with the aesthetic of it all. Min quickly caught up to Ryan’s side, basically breathing over his shoulder with how close the two were now. It wasn’t uncommon for them to stand this close, but certain eyes on them made Min feel more self-conscious about their actions, as of late.

“Pretty banging party! I can barely hear a thing! Bet no one could hear us either!” There was no warning as to what Ryan would say next, shouting at the top of his lungs, “PENIS!”

At first it was funny, but after a few more times of shouting the most inappropriate things Ryan could think of and more people looking at the two more than ever, Min clasped his hand over his best friend’s mouth, still giggling a little from how out of left field it was, “Alright man, we’re here for a reason and we should be looking for-” was all Min could get out before he felt a warm wetness sliding over his hand. He pulled back in disgust, wiping his hand against his pant leg, “Ry that was so grody-!”

Ryan just laughed over his misfortune, skipping away deeper into the jungle that was the crowd.

It was strange, two years after the revival...no, after the train, Ryan still seemed like he was trying to push their band as fast as he could. On the surface, two years of gigs seemed as drawn out as getting their band popular could be. But Min could tell how impatient Ryan seemed to be getting. When you spend that much time sleeping in random hotels next to someone so outgoing, you’re bound to relearn things you forgot from the past. Min’s gotten a bit more used to Ryan’s childlike personality, finding it endearing in an almost cathartic way. In the past, he was so confused as to why he liked it, trying to compensate for the lack of maturity that was starting to falter in his life when they were on the train. Sure, sometimes it has its faults, but not everyone is perfect.

Now, Min couldn’t help but appreciate it more than ever, when it came to cheering people up.

By the time Min found Ryan among the crowd, he was already talking with a woman, moving his hands around in the most animated way, his eyes sparkling in the pink lights of the bar. But once Ryan’s eye caught Min, he pulled him toward the woman by the arm, “And this is my buddy Min-gi! Together we make Chicken Choice-!”

It took a second for the realization to kick in, making Min blush and add quietly at the end, “J-Judy…”

The woman nodded, walking to what appeared to be backstage.

“Another one of your lady friends?” Min deadpanned, removing the arm that was wrapped around his.

“Ha, I wish! She’s the manager of this whole shindig. Now c’mon, We’re about to be up!” Ryan ran up ahead to catch the woman, leaving Min in the dust once more. With a fond sigh, he walked in the general direction of where they headed.

The backstage wasn’t any different looking from all the other backstages they’ve been in, lights and equipment adorning the walls like trophies and gaudy curtains hanging on the ceiling above. Although, one thing that stood out was a box filled with masks in the far left corner of the stage, Ryan already fiddling with a red sun mask.

“You think they’ll let us perform like this?” Ryan turned to Min, striking a pose with both his hands in a classic metal form.

“Yeah, if we were Broadway actors.” Min chuckled, walking up to and pulling off the mask from Ryan’s face.

Behind the mask, Ryan looked up at Min surprisingly, as if he didn’t expect him to take off this mask. But, surprise was quickly replaced with a jolly grin, reaching into the box again and sticking a blue moon mask in Min’s face. He stuttered back in surprise, taking off his mask to look at it.

Although he didn’t get a good look when the manager told them to go on in 5 minutes.

Ryan had that shine in his eyes again, starting to say, “So, what song are we feeling today? Unfair Trial? Castle of the Lonely? Or maybe a classic Train to Nowhere-?”

“Ry, actually, um...you think the whole ‘pick a song right before the show’ method is really that...practical?”

The shine was gone in an instant.

Min continued regardless, “L-look I’m just saying, you seem like you’re in some sort of rush? I thought we were trying to take this slow, but in the last year you’ve...been acting weird.”

As he spoke, Min unconsciously put his hand on Ryan’s shoulder, having it swatted away suddenly, “I’m alright Min, can we like, not do this before the show? It’s harshing the mellow a bit…”

The manager on stage was already introducing their band, calling out Chicken Choice Judy with the crowd applauding their arrival.

Min turned back to his partner, “...Alright, just…” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Castle of the lonely, ‘kay?”

With a sullen nod, they put on their best smiles and walked onto stage, The crowd applauding once more. Ryan greeted the crowd with that winning smile of his, making Min feel a little impressed with how quickly he could shove that encounter under the rug.

The song begun slowly,

“Up on a hill,
High in the sky,
You wait to fulfill,
A duty filled with pride.

You want what you never got,
Fill the hole with substitutes,
But it’s not enough,
The first time was a fluke.”

When the song started picking up the pace, Min stared at Ryan dancing in place, the music completely taking him over. This song always did weird things to the both of them, some kind of warm, but painful flare burned in their hearts, making them play harder than every other song they sang together. And Ryan, his voice always carried certain emotions when singing, like there were some people who couldn’t hear him, that he wanted them to listen to the song as closely as possible.

The chorus arrived, and they sang together with their whole hearts,

“My one and only,
Castle of the lonely!
Find me in my maze,
Where my heart waits!”

Their hearts swelled, not playing for the crowd anymore. It felt dirty, it felt that this song would put them in jail. It wasn’t the lyrics that made it feel filthy, it was their instruments, like there was a hidden message written in morse code. It was like this song had them completely on display for the world to see, screaming the concealed secrets they tried so hard to bottle up for years.

Ryan suddenly swung his body to look at Min, his eyes carrying emotions that Min felt in his soul, although he couldn’t put a label on. The look was replaced with horror, though, seeming to have grasped a truth he never wanted to learn.

The song ended, the crowd shocked at how hard they went. There was an awkward lul in the bar, but a moment later there was cheering, the song having struck a chord with the people. They cheered their name, asking for an encore. Encores were very rare for the band, it seemed to shock them out of their tranced state after the song.

Ryan grabbed the microphone again, “Thanks folks, but that’s it for us tonight! Buy our cassette!” then he exited, stage right.

Min was left reeling from the turn down at an encore. He awkwardly got up from his seat at the keyboard piano, waving before he followed after his friend.

It seemed like Ryan just disappeared from the bar entirely. He wasn’t backstage, he wasn’t talking to some girl like he usually does after playing that song. He was just...gone.

“Ryan!” Min called out over and over, hoping it’d do something to help find him. After the fifth or sixth time he called out, Min felt his eyelid twitch in frustration. He ran out the bar, calling again in another desperate attempt, and it resulted in a rustle around the corner of the bar, leading into an alleyway. Relieved, Min peaked around the corner to see his escaped partner, clutching his heart to catch his breath, is what Min assumed.

He called out once more, “...Ryan?”

Ryan jolted, looking up with his eyes wide. His breath staggered, looking down to avoid Min’s stare. “H-hey…” was all he could get out.

Min had half a mind to scold Ryan for leaving him on the stage like that, but the way Ryan looked in the moment made him reconsider. He cautiously walked up and put his hand on his shoulder, but had it slapped away immediately. The air grew thick, somehow that slap made the problem seem much more severe.

“I...sorry, you scared me, man.” There was a small waver in Ryan’s voice, like trying to keep something at bay.

Min just rubbed the back of his head, thinking of the best way to approach the situation, ending up with, “...You...wanna talk in the car?”

That seemed to grab Ryan’s attention, nodding slowly to go somewhere a bit more safe and private to talk.

Once in Min’s car, the pair sat in silence, still trying to process the actions that were taken before. Ryan’s never run out on a gig, especially if there was an encore involved. Sometimes Min thinks the phase ‘run away’ was something Ryan didn’t know. At least, from a challenge.

Min broke the tension first, “That...wasn’t like you, man.”

Ryan had already curled into himself, his arms wrapped around his knees. “Yeah, it was pretty lame, huh?”

“Well, I never said it was lame…”

Ryan just looked up at him, his eyebrows quirking up like that wasn’t the truth.

“...Maybe a little lame…”

There was another long pause, neither having a clue as to what to say. It was something neither wanted to address, they were pretty bad with their feelings, but it was solved pretty fast if they just talked it out. But this, it didn’t feel like a normal problem, and it’s been going on for a year already.

Once they had gotten off the train those 2 years ago, they felt invincible, like if the world ended tomorrow, they would still be together. That first year felt like everything fit into place, like they were in perfect harmony, a pair destined to play in the stars. But, it wasn’t like it was happening all at once, if Min had to pin down exactly when things were shifting, it would have to be when Ryan started bringing girls over to the hotels they stayed at. The girls never stuck for long, and at first it was a minor annoyance, but the way they got touchy, and all the flirting...it didn’t feel right. Min had absolutely no clue why, maybe it irked that small part of his brain that thought negatively sometimes, but even that didn’t seem right.

The car’s tiny space was smothering them in anxiety, the chilled air from the night seeping into it like it was a bad omen. They knew exactly why this chill was so disturbing, but they didn’t want to talk about that car. At least, not yet.

Min was about to open his mouth to say something when there was a knock at the window, startling both men. It was just the manager, who was beckoning for them to come out the car.

She just wanted to give them the money for playing, and for all the cassettes they sold which was a bit more than they expected. A night like this was considered pretty successful for the duet, but celebrating was the last thing on their minds.

It was time to hit the road, once everything was packed up (not a word said), they drove into the highway. With Min behind the wheel, their next destination was North Dakota for a gig the next night.

It was about half an hour into the drive, they were still pretty silent with each other, only pointing out odd things they saw along the way to set things back to normal. The darkness of the night out on the highway was foggy, obstructing Min’s view from the road, but not in a dangerous way. After a particularly long silent streak, it was too unbearable, and it was Ryan who broke it,

“I...I’m sorry Min, I don’t know what to say...I didn’t mean to leave you like that…”

A tiny voice in the back of Min’s mind said he’s heard this excuse before, but he didn’t give it any attention, “There’s...really nothing to say Ryan...I just wanna know why…”

Ryan was quiet for an eerie amount of time, seemingly to think of something that would satisfy Min.

Before Ryan could give an answer, Min had thought of something else that needed attention, “And the way you acted before the show was weird too, what was that about?”

There was a small mumble under Ryan’s breath, making Min lean in a little closer, “What?”

“I said, it’s complicated, really hard to explain, okay?”

Min didn’t look back at Ryan, his eyes holding a vacant stare to the road as if he had to process such a vague answer. ‘Complicated’? What was so complicated about leaving your best friend on stage? ‘Okay, I’m not one to talk, but Ryan didn’t have his parents approval on the line…’ He drummed his fingers in the steering wheel, eyebrows furrowing slightly every minute.

“Just, forget it, okay? That song just gets to me…” Ryan curled into himself more, sticking his head between his knees.

For some reason, something clicked in place.

“Bro, please don’t tell me this is about some girl you’re obsessed with.” Min groaned, putting his head on the wheel. This can’t be it. For some girl that Min didn’t even know? That was the last excuse he wanted to hear. Ryan wasn’t even that good with women, flubbing it every time Min was around to see. But, it seemed like the only logical reason why Ryan’s been acting weird the whole year, maybe one particular girl stuck in his head and he couldn’t get her out.

Ryan shot his head out from his knees, a cherry red blush dusted over his face, “What!? Min that’s not it at all! You know I wouldn’t-”

“Really? Then what was that ditch for!? You just left me hanging, I didn’t want to be left out there by you!” Min looked down at Ryan, feeling his lip snarl when the most painful feeling consumed him, “I don’t want to be left out there because you can’t keep it in your pants!”

In the heat of the moment, it felt like something snapped, as if the most fragile thing broke into a million pieces.

It was hard to tell in the dark, but it almost looked like Ryan had tears in his eyes, “Why won’t you listen! You can’t just stop and think before you speak sometimes, it’s always assuming something that isn’t true!”

“Then tell me, why!”

Ryan opened his mouth to say something, but the honking of a horn distracted him, making him look at the highway.

“MIN! THE ROAD!”

Min snapped his head to the front, pailing in fear. A train- he was speeding right into a train and he didn’t have enough time to stop- He slammed his foot on the break, but it didn’t do much to slow down. The train was too bright to see, a lime light burning their eyes right into the backs of their skulls, a somehow familiar feeling as they crashed right into the locomotive.

There was no pain, no sound, no anything when they collided.

Chapter Text

“... ...a...ga..in?”

“...h...ow....po...ssib…”

As faint as the voice was, Ryan could still hear someone talking in his sleep. He always had sensitive hearing, being able to pick anything up even if there was a wall between him and the sounds. It’s been a unique quality he’s had since he could remember anything, maybe that was one reason why he was always so interested in music.

The voice was a little louder this time, it sounded like it belonged to a frustrated woman, “Wait...I’m not…!!!”

A swoosh of wind pasted over him, before he knew it, the voice disappeared, leaving only a warm presence pressed onto his back.

~~

A flutter of something moved across Min-gi’s cheek, the smell of it feeling all natural. The ground beneath him was soft, yet firm, seeming to have acted as his bed for god knows how long. His face also felt warm, like it was sun kissed. ‘Wait…’ he could start feeling his consciousness coming back to him, the cogs turning gradually when the first rays of light hit his eyes.

Blue. Light blue was the first color he saw. His body was aching all over, but it wasn’t completely in pain, pins and needles pricking at his legs when feeling came back to them.

There was shifting right next to him, coming to realize body heat was radiating against his right side. Min startled awake, looking down to see…’Ryan, thank god it’s just Ryan...hugging...my…’

A lot of things were now processed. They were in the middle of a field, no road or train tracks in sight, a sky that was perfectly blue with not a cloud in the sky. And right next to Min, was Ryan snuggled into his chest, his arms clenched around his waist as tight as they could be, which was extremely tight. Min had forgotten how strong Ryan was because of his guitar playing, and now his waist was being crushed.

“Ry...dude let…” Min struggled to pry the arms off, only having Ryan snuggle deeper into his side, “Ryan!” this time, Min shook him to try and wake his partner, seeing him starting to stir awake.

They both groaned, sitting up straight now that they were fully conscious of their surroundings. Min’s voice was raspy once he spoke, “Where...is this the highway?”

Ryan rubbed his head, looking around before standing up suddenly, “Min, where’s the car!?”

Shit. Oh shit. Min stood up, swerving his body in a panic to find their car. It had everything in it, their gear, their clothes, food, money, everything. Without it, they were basically sitting, homeless ducks. But, that brought up a particular question that didn’t sit well with Min.

“Ryan, how are we in the middle of nowhere when the last thing I remember was crashing into-”

He was cut off, Ryan shrieking in horror as he looked at his hands, in a panic, saying “Dude, do NOT look at your hand-!”

Although it was too late, curiosity getting the better of him, he looked down, and was greeted with the most terrifying thing he’s seen in two years.

143. That’s what was written in bright green on his right hand.

If someone told Min two years ago that he’d end up on the wormhole judgment line a second time, he’d probably scoff, think it over, scoff again, then scream his head off in terror at the thought of it again.

And that’s exactly what the both men did, together.

“What the hell, what the hell! This can’t be happening! Not again!” Ryan screeched, trying his absolute hardest to rub the number off of this hand, but to no success, the number glowing brighter than before.

All of the most horrible memories came flooding back into Min’s mind, being stuck on this stupid train again had to be a sign from some sort of god that hated their guts with every fibre of their being. This had to be an error, a mistake, there had to be some sort of double jeopardy involved, right? Their number now was almost 60 points lower than their first time, that must mean something good...right?

‘No, no I should NOT be analysing this thing again, I thought we fixed everything…’ Min muttered incoherent thoughts swirling in his mind, staring at his number like it was a plague ready to eat him alive.

The only thing that snapped him out of his funk was Ryan still screaming, calling out for anyone to come save them like the boy calling wolf, “This isn’t funny! Call off this prank right now!”

Although, it was getting a bit tiring to listen to his partner scream his lungs dry, so Min escaped back into his mind to sort out how fucked up their situation was. This was god’s plan, a sin waiting to be eradicated by this train way to hell. Maybe it was because he left his parents behind? Screamed in their faces he was going to chase his dreams? Run away with a guy they had always hated for ‘tainting’ their son? But if that were the case, Ryan wouldn’t be here too. Unless he had a completely different reason for being on the train, although that couldn’t be true either. You don’t just enter hell at the same time as your best friend twice.

“Ryan, give me your hand.” Min interrupted his friend’s screaming, pulling at his right hand to check his theory. 143 was written in the same manner as Min’s on Ryan’s hand.

“The same, again? But dude, I thought we already fixed our shit with each other, how is this happening a second time?”

“That’s what I want to know…”

The wind rushed past them, making a few blades of grass fly in the direction of a village, spotted in the horizon of the field.

“Are...we really doing this again? I mean, this could be some weird telepathic dream shit and we’re going to wake up from our 3 year long coma any minute..?” Ryan rubbed the back of his head, looking like he was about to throw up from the mear thought of being on the train.

Min had seriously considered this as a dream too, but everything was too real, or maybe this was the most hyper realistic dream he’s ever had. Telepathic dreams, however, seemed too impossible, if it was credited by Sigmund Freud first, it had to be bogus.

“...We have no other choice, how else are we going to get out of here?” Min began walking to the village ahead, already feeling his stomach getting sick each step he took towards it.

“Um, by waking up!? ...You gotta be fibbing me…” Ryan ran up from behind him, sticking a little too close to his best friend.

After a few minutes of walking and realizing it would take a while for them to get to this village, there was nothing else to do besides talk, which wasn’t their strong suit, not even a bit. What was there even to talk about? Their fight in the car? ...Okay, that was actually the perfect thing to talk about, but how would Min ever bring it up? ‘Hey, maybe that fight in our car has something to do with this…’

Min sighed shallowly, hugging his arms tight into himself, “So...That fight…”

Ryan perked up unexpectedly, the red blush from their fight back in full bloom, “Y-you’re still on that? Don’t you think being on this death trap is a bit more important than that?”

It was completely obvious Ryan was trying to steer the conversation elsewhere, which meant Min was right in thinking the fight had to do something with them being on the train. With their number high like this though, it couldn’t have been the only reason why they were back on the train. Min’s sure he could figure out more reasons, but the mental toll of being back on the train was screwing with his brain.

At least the scenery was nice to look at, the smell of the breeze and the air was extremely clean, putting a little ease at Min’s mind, but it wasn’t much. For some reason, a scene like this reminded Min of all the fantasy adventure books he read as a kid, sitting in bed late at night staying up way past his bedtime with a flashlight in hand. Sometimes, when he and Ryan had sleepovers, they’d stay up all night under the covers reading together, making up silly voices and talking about how they could use the stories as music inspiration.

But this train probably won’t let them have an epic fantasy adventure if the last visit had any indication.

The walk to the village was long and tedious, but they finally made it, standing just on the path leading up to the sign. The village was pretty rustic, most buildings being made out of hay and wood, large plots of land being used for harvesting vegetables, and in the middle of it all stood a proud...milk fountain? Upon further inspection, the residents of the village were all crossbreeds of humans and cats, having the general physiology of a human, but there were cat ears and tails added too.

“Uh...they look kinda human? You think they’re nice?” Ryan leaned in, whispering into Min’s ear.

Min leaned back, their foreheads touching at how close they were, “I mean, with the way your mouth looks sometimes, we could just pass you off as one of them” he walked off deeper into the village, leaving Ryan blushing red again, whispering a small, “w-what’s that supposed to mean?”

Further in the village, the townsfolk were all looking at the two, covering their mouths to gossip already about the strangers in their humble village. In all honesty, Min didn’t see any difference in them and the people back home, whispering things about the both of them behind their backs, saying words Min never wanted to hear in his life. Ryan just kept walking though, blissfully unaware of the turning heads and insults being thrown their way, and Min wanted to keep it that way. Those words could apply to Min for all he cared, but never did he want Ryan to be labeled by those words in any way, shape or form.

As they walked into town more, trees started encasing the town in it’s branches, almost like they just appeared from thin air. Nestled inside of a giant hole of a particularly large tree was a small inn, stairs leading down to the entrance.

“Think they’ll take money? Or maybe like, dead mice since they’re cat people?” Ryan was already looking around to spot any critters scurrying across the ground.

“We may be felines, but we’re not savages, kitten.”

An unfamiliar voice called from the back of them, a purr of curiosity emanating from the newcomer. A small white cat with yellow eyes and in a small, brown and green hood stood proud in front of the men. The cat’s proud stance faltered in realization though, her yellow eyes widening in surprise, “Mon Dieu! You two can’t be...les curiosités!”

“Lay what now?” Ryan quirked his head to the side, muttering to pronounce the second word she said before giving up in a huff.

Meanwhile, a click in Min’s brain went off, and he knew exactly who this cat was, “Ryan wait...isn’t this the cat you flirted with to get us out of jail?”

There was a brief pause in the conversation, letting the last sentence sink in for everyone. Ryan suddenly burst out into fumes, ducking into a crouched position, “Noooooo, are you kidding me?! I didn’t wanna think about that ever again!”

The cat only scoffed in amusement, flicking her tail up, “Hmph, I didn’t want to think about it either, but here you are now. Maintenant, if you want somewhere to...sort your feelings out, I could help you get into the inn. Although, not everything comes for free, my kittens”

Right. The cat was greedy. And this time she didn’t want to help just because they’re ‘curiosities’. It seemed like too much of a coincidence that they could meet the same cat twice on both times of their train visits, but at this point, logic was up in the air when it came to this place.

“Now, I need you to follow me, there’s something you two need to do in order to pay me back for my generous help.” the cat pranced forward, sneaking a glance behind her to check if her ‘helpers’ were following.

They didn’t seem to have any choice, the door to the exit was nowhere in sight and this cat seemed to know more about the train than either of them did. Min groaned exaggeratedly, pressing his hands into his arms to try and hold back his impending outburst, muttering the smallest, “Like you’re generous” under his breath.

Looking up from walking, Ryan took the time to map out the tree branches hanging above them, letting the light shining through the leaves pass over his face in an almost dream like fashion. It made Min wonder, How come they ended up somewhere so peaceful as their first car? The car looked like it was straight out of a painting, each straw of hay on top of the houses looked like they were strokes of a perfect brush, and the sky was practically dipped in blue paint. So what gives?

Although, it didn’t take him long to figure out why, it was because of Kez. Without her constantly making enemies and tagging along, making her problems theirs, there was no immediate threat. Min did miss Kez a lot, wishing they could have brought her off the train with them, but the enemies in each car were not missed. One thing that did strike Min as weird was the fact that Kez and Ryan had a bit in common. Being laid-back, making their problems Min’s, and lying about important information that would have been important to know. Throughout relearning about Ryan though, he’d come to get used to those qualities. It was just how Ryan was, it wasn’t his fault for being that way. If anything, they filled in their weak points a bit too well. Min makes set plans, thinks things through where Ryan doesn’t. And Ryan takes risks, steering the conversation where Min fails to communicate the most basic things sometimes.

Maybe it was that god again, making them unintentionally perfect for each other.

‘Wait, no, that sounded weird…’ Min pressed his hands even deeper into his arms, shrinking into himself.

Ryan gasped loudly, getting Min out of the funk he was digging himself, gasping at the sight along with his friend.

Snakes. And lots of them. They slithered all over a crop that had carrots planted in it, eating whatever stems they could find.

“You see, this village takes a particular currency that isn’t like your world. They value these special snakes more than anything in this train, trading them among the community to find the most extravagant ones. There are different types of snakes here too, some made of fire, while others are wooden.” The cat explained, catching a snake with butterflies on it in her mouth as she finished her explanation.

Min shuttered in discomfort, his hands immediately going back to holding his arms, “Couldn’t it have literally been anything else? Bugs, they’re good for the environment. Mice make cute and good pets. But snakes? They’re unnatural, they don’t have appendages, they’re creepy-”

“Oh come on Min, chillax. You just don’t like them ‘cause a garter snake crawled up your leg one time during that field trip to the residential park.” Ryan looked back at him, smirking with malicious intent.

“It was going to bite me! I thought I was gonna die Ryan!”

There was only a boisterous laugh as a reply, making Min forget his next snappy comments to listen to that damn laugh. It was annoying, but satisfying at the same time, he always hated liking it.

The cat coughed into her paw, making the men face her again, “Mes amies, I wasn’t finished explaining my task. As payment for helping you, you must find a snake that is of most worth for my collection, only then will I get you inside of the inn”

The duet shared a brief look, exchanging a silent conversation that consisted of ‘Like you said, we don’t have any other option.’ ‘Yeah, but snakes?’ ‘It might be fun?’ ‘I feel like you’re doing this on purpose to torture me.’

“Alright, but I wanna keep a snake if I like one.” Ryan shrugged, plunging into the field of snakes, Min just standing there with the most aghast face he’s made in his entire life. Okay, maybe not the most aghast, he’s made some pretty offended faces when it came to Ryan though.

“Fine by me, just don’t forget the task.” the cat scampered to the nearest set of crates to perch up on and watch their progress.

Min looked out into the crop, seeing Ryan chasing a snake made of water, with tiny fish inside of it. He sighed, dropping his head in defeat. He walked onto the crop, tip toeing around the hedges to make absolutely sure he wasn’t going to step on one of the things he hated the most.

Meanwhile, Ryan was already lying down, snakes of all kinds slithering over his body as they pleased, one even licking his cheek with it’s thin tongue. Min cringed, but couldn’t help but be a little jealous at how much Ryan was enjoying himself. It was a trait of his that made Min admire his partner even more, choosing to put himself out there even if they were in the last place they wanted to be in at all. He smiled weakly, walking up to his friend and sitting next to him, making most of the snakes that surrounded Ryan disappear into the hedges, except one.

A small, stone snake with rainbow glaze bravely slithered to Ryan’s side, pulling at his pants with it’s mouth to try and get his attention. “Oh? Looks like someone wants to say hi!” Ryan picked up the snake, holding it close to his face to say a small greeting to make it feel welcomed.

“...You...I thought you didn’t want to be here, like, stuck on the train again,” Min started, “But it’s like you’re used to it now...I don’t get it…” he pulled one knee into his chest, hugging it tight to hide himself from his friend.

Ryan looked down at the snake pensively, taking a moment to think on his answer, in the same manner as in the car before. “Well, like you said, we don’t have any other option...no matter how much I deny it, doesn’t change that fact...right?” he paused, giving the snake a small pat on the head, “Believe me Min, I don’t want to be here anymore than you do, but I think we’ll be okay, as long as we’re not at each other's throats like last time.”

Min perked up his head, seeing Ryan had gone back to playing with the stoney snake in his hand. “You’re way too optimistic sometimes, man”

“Well, if I wasn’t, what do you think would happen to us?”

Min bit his lip, looking to the soil of the ground, a pit of guilt welling up in his stomach. He had a point. Without such an optimistic outlook on things, where would they be right now? Ryan had never given up on their dream, never stopped trying to get gigs, even if all seemed hopeless, it was that can do attitude that got them out of more bottomless pits than Min can count on his hand.

Ryan nudged Min with his elbow, smiling brighter than the sun in the sky, “C’mon Min, stop looking like you’re about to ralph, it’s not just me keeping this team together, you’re so smart and come up with cool plans on the fly, that’s like, way cooler than some dumb personality trait.”

Min smiled, only a little, feeling thankful for having Ryan by his side.

The moment of content didn’t last long though, when Min felt something touch his left hand, he screeched in panic, throwing his hands around Ryan’s neck.

The offender of the crime was a sparkling mosaic snake, shining multiple colors all across the ground. It startled, starting to retreat into the hedges, where it was bound to never show itself again. Ryan cried out to Min around his neck, “Min! Catch it!”

“WHAT!? Ryan I-!”

“The cat’s gotta like sparkly shit! Catch it before it gets away!”

Min looked to the snake in question, having almost made its way to the hedge. His heart rate picked up, groaning in frustration that he was the closest one to it. He pried himself off the Ryan (who was blushing, for god knows why), and sprinted to the snake, tripping himself up before diving straight for it, not even caring if other snakes were in the way at the moment.

His eyes were shut tight, scared to open them to see if he had caught his prey, but when a wriggle in his hand confirmed he had caught something, he opened his eyes slowly, seeing he had the mosaic snake in his hands.

Ryan cheered from behind Min, flopping onto his back to give the biggest hug ever, “You did it! Holy shit you did it!”

“Y-yeah...I actually did it…” he smirked a bit, looking back at Ryan with amusement. It was a split second decision, something he would’ve never done without his friend pushing him to go for it. His optimism really did have it’s perks sometimes…

A small vrring sound came from their hands, but neither noticed it, nor seemed to care to check, too engrossed in the moment to care about anything around them.

The cat, having heard all of the commotion, strode up to the men chuckling to themselves on the ground, “Alright kittens, playtime’s over, have you caught anything that’d suit my fancy yet?”

Min finished chuckling, wiping a tear from his eye before standing up, “I don’t know, is this to your liking?” he presented the shining snake in his hand, having it squirm a bit.

With a moment of hesitation, the cat jolted back, infatuated with the colorful serpent. She quickly regained her composure, coughing into her paw once more, “it’ll have to do for now, I will accept it.” she snatched it out of Min’s hand with her mouth, biting down onto it’s neck hard enough to snap and kill it. The duet only shuttered in distaste at the action.

Without another word, they followed the cat back into the village, walking to the front deck of the inn with the cat in the lead. She dropped the dead snake onto the ground and purred to the catwoman in front of them, “These two are with me, mademoiselle, please excuse us, if you will.”

The catwoman nodded with a silent smile, ushering the group to the one and only room they had available. A red door stood in the middle of two beds, golden handles adorning the middle of it.

“Wait, the door was here all along!?” Min blanched, looking at the cat with the dead snake back in her mouth.

“Well of course, why else would I be making you get something to add to my collection?”

The pair groaned at the same time, looking at each other with tired expressions.

“Now, best be on your way, kittens, I will be staying here to...help others develop on their journey,” the cat jumped to a nearby window, flicking her tail in a way that could have been seen as a wave goodbye, “I wish you luck, mes curiosités.” she jumped out the window without a second glance.

Min let out a huff, dragging his hands over his face before looking down at his hands. He gasped, shaking Ryan to get his attention, “Ryan! Look! Our numbers!”

137 was the new number they both had, only going down about 6 points.

They looked up at each other, smiling at their accomplishment before Ryan shivered, a thin shadow moving up his torce before poking its head out of his sleeve.

It was the rainbow glazed stone snake from before, poking its tongue out to greet the men happily, “You sneaky little thing! Guess we have no choice but to keep you now that you’re here!” Ryan looked up at Min expectantly, making those shining eyes he knew Min couldn’t resist.

Min sighed fondly, scratching the chin of their new friend with his finger, “Yeah, guess we have no choice.”

The duo shared one last comforting look before opening and going through the red door.

Chapter Text

At this point, time on the train seemed to be irrelevant. No matter how much Min tried to count the days, it seemed like it would all be for naught, since you can’t see the sun over the horizon on the outside of the train. It was still the same horizon as when they were here before, that hellish yellow gradienting into dark orange in the sky. And the wasteland outside stayed seemingly untouched, although Min doesn’t remember so many craters in the ground. ‘Glad to see they kept everything the same for us...not.’

Their numbers stayed the same since the Cat Village car, never moving from 137. Min had tried to come up with different reasons as to why their numbers changed in the first place, from when they first entered the train, to when they went through the red door. Min thinking about his parents and how he basically ran away didn’t work, so it had to be something him and Ryan had to deal with. They still had to talk about their fight in the car, but every time Min brought it up Ryan changed the subject immediately, pointing out things that were completely inane.

The more Min thought about it, the more his head felt like exploding.

As if thinking about their numbers was useful right now, when the duet (and their snaky friend) were navigating a furniture car, but all the furniture was made out of eggs.

“Hm...says on this sign this chair is 60% off…” Ryan squinted to the sign with an egg mascot on it.

Min shrugged, preferring not to comment on it, part of the reason being that he was sick of eggs after working a crappy part time job at an egg themed diner.

“What do you think, Prism? Should we get it?” Ryan scratched the chin of the stone snake on his shoulder, it stuck its tongue out in delight.

Min quirked his eyebrow, “Prism? Since when did we agree on that name?”

“It’s better then ‘Stoney’, at least.” Ryan mumbled, scampering off to an egg table before Min was able to comment.

Min looked down to the egg tokens in his hand, having received them at the entrance of the car. The only way out is to check out an item at the counter, then the door will open on the other side so they could leave. Although they barely got any tokens (the store's currency) at the start, it’s been hard to find a piece of furniture that’s super cheap. They’ve been here for at least two hours (Min kept track), and there was no cheap item in sight.

“Hey, it’s accurate isn’t it? They’re made of stone, so it’s best to apply a name that would be specific to their physical being, right?” Min walked up to Ryan, pointing to the snake already taking a nap on his shoulder.

Ryan pursed his lips together, going back to looking at price tags on different furniture. Starting since they left the last three or four cars, Ryan’s been a bit flighty towards Min, avoiding confrontation which he assumed was about their fight. Min gets that talking about problems can be difficult, but there had to be some sort of limit before there was no other choice. So, Min would have to make sure that limit comes sooner rather than later.

“Min! I think I found something!” Ryan called out, holding something in the palm of his hand. It was a small, egg scented candle.

“...Does it have a price tag?”

Ryan looked down at the candle, no price on the bar code sticker. Min scoffed, “Ryan, you know checking something before buying it would be helpful, right?”

He didn’t hear what Ryan said, but a frustrated grumble came from the shorter man, stomping away, just like a child.

With one more look around him, Min walked to a coffee table with a single, egg shaped mug on a coaster. He looked at the bottom of the mug to see the price...it said four hard-boil egg tokens, then next to it was five scrambled egg tokens as the alternative. Even on this damn train inflation rates were plaguing the economy. He took the mug to the counter where Ryan was waiting anyway.

“Oh? You sure we have enough for that?” Ryan mocked, still holding the candle from earlier in his hands.

“Well of course, if I knew we couldn’t afford it why would I have it in the first place?”

More low grumbles came from Ryan, the snake lifting its head up from its short nap, giving a few short licks to calm its new friend down.

Before Min could point out Ryan’s sudden grumpiness, the egg-headed cashier called for them, ringing up their items. The screen on the monitor behind them read as five scrambled egg tokens when the mug was scanned, and the candle read as three of them. The two looked at each other with wide eyes, Ryan started, “Dude, the candle was cheaper! Looks like my gut was right~” a big grin widened on his face.

“Wh- but you didn’t say anything about your gut-!” Min called out to Ryan as he scampered to the door, pulling on the handles before going back to the cashier, having forgotten to pay in his excitement.

After paying the three tokens they had, they took the candle, threw it out in the nearest trash can (why would they keep an egg scented candle? The prospect of it was disgusting to the both of them), and headed through the next red door.

The outside was still as suffocating as always, Min had always wondered if breathing in the air was at all deadly to humans, so he always tried to hold his breath until they got into the next car. Although, the silence between him and Ryan felt more suffocating than the air around them. It was now or never...well, probably not never, but it would be a while until the perfect opportunity presented itself again.

“Ryan, I’m uh...okay, I’m starting to lose my patience,” he pressed his hands together, inhaling to process his next thoughts, “The fight...will you at least hear me out about it?”

Ryan stopped dead in his tracks, turning around as slowly as he could to prolong the inevitable, “Uhh...y-you’re not gonna lecture me like you always do...are you?”

For some reason, that caught Min off guard, “Lecture you? I don’t do that man, I just...want you to...understand the circumstances we’re in...you know?” that sounded a lot better in Min’s head than what came out.

“Bro, that’s like, the definition of lecturing. It’s kinda your forte when it comes to me, honestly.” Ryan looked to their snake, holding out his hand to pet it again.

Min felt a small pang in his heart at those words, his shoulders slumping when he couldn’t come up with a comeback. It was never really his intention to sound like some sort of disappointed parent, if he did he’d sound just like his parents. The thought of his parents made him go back to clutching his arms, repeating in his head what they had said behind his back as he left their house for the final time. ‘I knew that Akagi kid was trouble, he’s going to drag Min-gi into hell with him’.

Ryan seemed to notice Min’s discomfort, gently resting a hand on his arm, “Hey Min...I didn’t really mean it like that...it’s just…”

Min shrugged the hand off, walking ahead of him, “Whatever, we need to keep moving.”

There was an uneasy silence until they opened the door to the next car.

Weapons and armor lined the walls of a medieval looking castle, torches being placed in between each wall. In the middle, a giant kiln with red hot fire burning from it stood proud, almost like it was ready to scorch anything that came too close.

The glazed snake slithered off of Ryan’s body, making its way to mannequins wearing armor in the far left corner of the room, making him shout as he ran for it, “Prism! Wait up!”

Min was left walking slowly into the room, eyeing the swords and shields that were hanging menacingly off the stone cobble wall, a prickling sensation going up his back as a new wave of uneasy washed over him. If it wasn’t for Morgan, he’d think a castle room such as this would be pretty normal, but now he can never be too sure.

When he looked to the front, a blush was flushed onto his face as he saw Ryan taking off his shirt, his chest glistening in the glow of the kiln. In the lighting, it almost looked like he had firm abs, but the inherent darkness of the room made it hard to tell. Min could admit if a guy had good muscles, especially if it was his best friend. Ryan was different from other guys, he was special, in a way, so it made sense to admire how strong he had gotten over the years. Although the flutter in his heart whenever he saw his chest was a little annoying.

Min stuttered, “R-ryan!? Why are you-!?”

“I’m putting on the armor, thought we could use this stuff if we got in trouble.” Ryan took a particular piece of armor that was for covering the upper part of the chest, holding it up to see if it fit. It cupped his pecs perfectly, holding them up like...Min stopped his train of thought immediately.

Ryan was not like that, and neither was Min, thinking of something so blatantly inappropriate of his best friend was just completely wrong. His parents said people who think like that shouldn’t deserve to exist, that they’re just confused and need to be corrected. A part of Min wishes they’d shut up about it, another part had no choice but to agree, if he didn’t, they’d wish he was dead too.

Well, it’s not like they already wished that when Min ran away with another man.

Before spiraling into why that sounded weirder than intended, Ryan snapped Min out of his trance, shaking his shoulder, “Hey, did you see that?”

His friend had a panicked look in his eyes, the snake back on his shoulder, but tucked into his sleeve. “Uh...what are you talking about?”

“There was like, a giant shadowy thing that was just in the corner, then it like, disappeared, poof! Y’know?” Ryan waved his hands around trying to describe how big said shadow was.

Min unfolded his arms, looking to his sides to see entrances to corridors that lead deeper into the armory. “N-no Ryan, I don’t know, I didn’t see anything.”

Then it had occurred to him just how close they were, Ryan basically sticking to him like a baby sloth. Min took a significant step away, trying to hide his face behind his hand, “I’m going to keep looking for stuff...shout if you need me…” he walked off into the corridors, not stopping to hear what Ryan had to say.

The corridors were a lot more dark, having no torches to light it up, which was unfortunate since Min wanted to clearly see what was in each room as he walked down. His search so far was proving unfruitful, until at the end of the hall he noticed a room with a soft light emanating from it. There had to be something important in there if it was lit up. Min peaked his head into the room, mindful if anyone else was in there, but there was not a soul in sight.

Only guns and rifles lined the walls of the candle lit room.

“Guns!? Isn’t this supposed to be a medieval armory…?...Ugh, like logic matters here…” Min groaned, walking into the gun filled room anyway.

It felt like the firearms were all staring him down, surrounding Min to tell him what he thought before was criminal, and they were ready to kill him on sight. His hands pressed deep into his arms, trying to hide himself from the non existent eyes that were all on him. He was a horrible person, when he thought about it. Running away, treating his best friend like a nuisance, and worst of all, having...thoughts of said best friend. What was wrong with him? Why did he want to be better than Ryan, but also admire him for everything he does? Was it some kind of rivalry complex? They’re supposed to be on the same team, but Min couldn’t help but feel the ugliest emotion when he thought of his feelings.

Only one thing fit the description. He was jealous. Min was this boring, stick in the mud kind of guy that he didn’t want to be, while Ryan lived as free as a bird for their whole lives, doing what he wants when he wants to. Was it bad he wanted to feel like he was the better man? Although he knew, he could never be better than Ryan. It didn’t even help his ego that much when he berated him, feeling worse than before. Maybe one part of him was still under his parent’s influence, telling him Ryan was a drop out, that he didn’t have a life. He couldn’t shake them off, even after two years of being away from them.

Although, Min’s been doing what he wants instead of what they wanted for him. Music was his passion, his lifelong dream, it didn’t matter what they thought. But the gnawing in his heart, the ache he felt whenever he saw those girls Ryan brings to their hotel room, made Min feel like this was the wrong choice. Why did the gnawing make him feel like he was missing the one thing he wanted his entire life?

A loud clanking sound reverberated throughout the room, making Min jolt up in surprise. To the left, a rifle had toppled over, and the small stone snake was hiding behind it, looking at Min like he was a ghost. He huffed, touching his face to find them wet with tears, noticing he was on the ground from his panicked state. “...Was Ryan worried about me?”

The snake didn’t say anything (because it couldn’t), but it slithered to Min slowly, looking up to gain permission to come over.

Min tilted his head in approval, letting it rest on his knee. He took deep breaths, clutching his rapidly beating heart as if it would stop the pain. It didn’t, but he had to try. Meanwhile, the rifle that had fallen over lay stagnant, giving Min an idea that he would probably regret later. After taking a minute to calm down, he reached over for it and slung it over his shoulder, carefully taking Prism in his hands and putting them on his shoulder to perch onto. They seemed to have appreciated the gesture with a small lick to Min’s cheek

To the corner of the room were boxes filled with rounds and bullets, which Min capitalized on by grabbing a few rounds for the correct model. If they were going to be stuck on a train this dangerous again, might as well prepare for the road.

As soon as Min was done preparing, a shrill scream was heard coming from the beginning room. That scream couldn’t belong to anyone but Ryan. Min sprung into action, calling out “Ryan!” before the man himself ran up to him and pulled on his arm in the opposite direction of where he was going. “What’s going on!? What happened?” Min started running with him to the end of the hallway, a staircase that led downward at the end of it.

“That giant thing! The tentacle thing with a mask! It just came out of nowhere and started trying to kill me!” Ryan panted between breaths, hopping down the stairs with Min in tow.

As Min was about to reply, the sound of crashing and shooting came from not too far behind them. Min’s heart dropped like a steel ball, picking up his pace to run faster down the stairs.

Once in the basement, the first thing to catch the duet’s attention was a tank in the middle of the room, and different types of rocket launchers and grenades, but it all still had the look of a medieval armory. There was no more time to process the room when the crashing sound became louder behind the men, having no hesitation when they decided to hide behind the tank.

The crashing finally reached the basement, sounds of ticking and machines moving were replaced instead. It sounded like it was going slowly, taking its time in searching for the duet. The panic from the gun room came rising back to Min, his palms feeling like they were drenched in water, and his vision going blurring on the sides. He was going to die, wasn’t he? He was going to die feeling like the scum of the earth, and die without having even apologized to Ryan for what he’s treated him like before.

Actually, he wasn’t going to die without doing that.

As Min opened his mouth to say something, Ryan beat him to the punch, “Min...I’m sorry I haven’t been talking with you honestly, it’s just that I’m scared to talk about the fight we had without you hating me…”

It was a complete shock to Min, but he pressed on anyway, “No Ryan I...I didn’t want to make you feel like shit...I don’t want to sound like some kind of strict parent with you...I just...I felt like some kind of coward, I guess.”

“...What? That’s-”

“Ryan, I’m jealous of you.”

That confession seemed to have shocked Ryan to his core, “Min...what are you saying man?”

Min took a silent breath before articulating his thoughts, “Sometimes I think you’re like, so much better than me. You do things I couldn’t even imagine doing, you’re fearless to the point of stupidity. And I’m...you know, the person that lectures you. I just thought if I could make myself seem more mature that I could be on your level...But so far, it just makes me feel like more of a loser…”

There was no immediate reply, only the sounds of the masked monster filled the room. Prism poked their head out from Min’s shoulder, slithering from him to Ryan’s shoulder where they hid under his sleeve again. Ryan let out a soft sigh he seemed to be holding the whole conversation, “I mean...I feel like I’m kinda responsible for this whole thing…” he paused, “Min, I’ll...I’ll talk to you about the fight one day...but right now, I don’t think I’m ready to...so can you promise me, you’ll wait until I can…?”

It was an odd request, but it only seemed fair, “...Okay. I promise...if you need the time...I’ll let you prepare yourself…”

A soft, comforting smile bloomed onto Ryan’s face, looking like a massive weight was lifted off of him, he whispered, “And Min, you’re not a loser. You’re my best friend, we watch each other’s backs like best friends do.” Min smiled back, feeling the flutter in his heart once more. Ryan’s smile always felt like a home to Min, like he had a place to belong no matter where he was. A home away from home…

The moment was ruined though, once another loud crashing sound shocked the men out of their trance. They could hear the monster starting to get impatient, thrashing everything around in an attempt to find them.

Instead of cowering in fear though, Min’s resolve strengthened. He had a stupid idea that might get them killed, but it might be crazy enough to work. He pulled the rifle from his back over his shoulder, making Ryan paling at the sight of the weapon, “Dude!? The hell do you have a fucking rifle for!?”

“For situations like these.” Min coolly replied, starting to load a round into the rifle. Ryan didn’t answer, only looking at him with renewed admiration.

Looking over the tank, Min saw the masked machine rummaging inside a box filled with packing peanuts, no doubt assuming they were in there. And right behind it, was the red door to the exit. Perfect, this could be manageable. While it was distracted, Min aimed the rifle to the opposite end of the room, far away from the two of them and the door. Min took one last deep breath, and pulled the trigger, the round making a large sound as it hit the wall Min aimed to.

The machine heard the sound, leaping to where the round had landed. Now was their chance, Min grabbing Ryan by the arm and pulling him to where he had seen the door from above. “H-hey! Min what are-!”

“Stay quiet! We need to get to the exit before it sees us-!”

Fate had other plans for the men though. The machine wasn’t distracted for very long before it turned it’s head and saw them making a break for the door. It launched itself to them, quickly gaining on their heels to catch them.

It seemed like they weren’t going to make it in time, before Ryan pulled away and made a detour for a piece of wood that was broken off of a box, and made a beeline back to Min who was almost at the door. “RYAN-!” Min called out, trying to pull him back to his side.

Ryan leapt forward, slamming himself into Min’s arms as they both tumbled out of the door, quickly standing up and shutting the door in the machine’s face as it caught up to them, putting the piece of wood into the handle so it would be locked from the other side.

The machine tried banging its body into the door, but after a moment or two of silence, it seemed to have given up. But they didn’t feel out of the woods yet, running over to the next car and closing the door behind them, sliding down to sit on the ground. After confirming they were safe (this car was small and had blankets all over it), the duet let out a huge sigh they were holding back.

“That...was crazy…” Min panted, wiping his brow with the back of his hand.

“But not as crazy as what you did! Like holy shit! That must have been like, ultra scary!” Ryan jolted, Prism having been in Ryan’s pocket the whole time and coming out to see if the chaos was over yet.

Min only shrugged, his breathing calming down, “Yeah well...wasn’t that scary when I knew I had something to live for…”

“...which is…?” the brunette quirked his head in confusion.

Min took a stray moment, before looking at the rifle in his hands, “You, I guess.”

Ryan’s face slowly contorted into shocked embarrassment, a strangled cry coming from the back of his throat, “W-what the hell…? Don’t say shit like that-! Oh my fucking god Min seriously-!” he bounced up from the door, covering his face in a frantic panic.

“H-huh!? Ryan what are you-” Min was cut off by a gasp though, Ryan looking down at the glowing number on this hand. 111 was what both of their numbers read.

“When did this happen…” Ryan whispered, furrowing his eyebrows in thought.

Min only smiled, content with the progress made, regardless of how it happened. He picked up Prism from the ground, petting their small head, “Hope the ride wasn’t too bumpy for you, Prism.”

Ryan looked back, the embarrassment from before gone like the wind, “You...called them Prism.”

“Y-yeah well...the name grew on me...so why not…?”

A small smile pricked at the corners of Ryan’s mouth, facing forward to continue their journey, “You’re the sappiest guy ever Min, y’know that, right?”

Min didn’t know that, but he was happy to know it now.

Chapter Text

If it was up to Min, the contents of each train car would be filled with the safest stuff he can think of, like cotton candy or giggling babies (or something along those lines). It would help ensure that passengers would have a pleasant experience while trying to deal with their inner turmoil, no distractions what so ever.

It wouldn’t be filled with giant, man eating turnips that were currently chasing the two men out of their car.

Ryan was basically screaming at Min the whole time in his ear, telling him to “USE THE FUCKING GUN ALREADY!” like he had no other option. Inturn, Min would shout back “I CAN’T!” without an explanation as to why. It went like this until they reached the end.

The door was within their grasp, only seeming to be inches away before Min’s leg got caught by one of the turnips stems, falling flat on his face. The turnip slowly brought up Min to it’s vile face, wearing a toothy grin that could devour the stylophonist in one chomp if it wanted to. Min thrashed around in it’s hold, as if it would do anything to save his life.

Although, the turnip wouldn’t get it’s snack today. Just behind Min, he felt something swoosh past him, seeing it hit the turnip in the eye, and hard. Min hit the ground with a thump, taking no time at all to scrabble to his feet and run to the door where Ryan was beckoning him, “Come on Min! I got you!”

Ryan grabbed Min by the hand and pulled him through the door, closing it behind him to make sure they weren’t followed.

Panicked breathes filled the air as the men tried to calm down, hearts still pounding against their flushed chests. It had been a few weeks since they were attacked like that, not yet used to running away like earlier on the train.

After a few minutes of panting, Ryan shot his head up in a panic, patting his body down frantically. “D-dude?? Where’s Prism??”

Min froze, almost feeling like his eyes were bulging out of his sockets. He began frantically searching over his body, trying to find their little companion. They hadn’t seen them since the turnip chase, assuming the worst in that they fell out of one of their pockets. After searching and almost screaming their lungs dry, a rustle came from Min’s hair, the head of their friend popping out in a small hiss.

A sigh of relief passed over them, their hearts starting to beat at a normal pace. It was Ryan that broke the long silence afterwards, “Min...why couldn’t...you use the gun?” he had his hands on his knees, still clearly not used to using so much stamina in a short amount of time.

“Because, I couldn’t get a clear shot...and I’m scared of using it again too…” with a huff, Min took Prism out of his hair, gently placing them on their rightful place, his shoulder.

“Really? Man, you used that thing like it was nothing in that Armory car, what’s the difference?” Ryan tried pulling the rifle over Min’s shoulder, but he quickly yanked it away from his friend.

“Ry! This shit is dangerous! We can’t hold it unless we have clear intent to use it! I almost fucked up my shoulder last time I shot it, it’s a miracle that didn’t happen.” he slung it back over his shoulder, “and I thought you said it was scary when I used it.”

Ryan stumbled back, but brushed off the action by putting his hands behind his head, “I meant it like, using it to fake out that tentacle thing. I thought shooting it was pretty rad though…”

With a frustrated groan, Min slicked back his hair, “You’re...so asinine…”

“Hah, jokes on you, I don’t know what that means! So I’ll take it as a compliment!” Ryan playfully pokes Min’s nose, walking away with a hearty laugh. Min’s nose tingled, feeling his face heat up from the touch.

Once again, after weeks of trying to progress and get their numbers lower, nothing had changed. Min thought it wouldn’t take weeks for their numbers to change, but it seems nothing noteworthy happened for the train to deem as ‘progression’. He tried piecing clues together as to why their numbers changed at all, the cat village car and armory car being the only times they changed. And logically, Min figured them talking about their qualms with each other would work, but in practice, it didn’t work. In a car with fairy hockey players, Min talked about how Ryan can’t control his strength for shit. He hasn’t gotten used to his ‘guitar muscles’ so he underestimates his power. That didn’t do anything. Ryan talked about how Min used big and confusing words, so he just took every word Min calls Ryan as a compliment. Nothing at all.

Min just sighed, walking behind Ryan with his back hunched over, “By the way, what did you do to get those turnips to let go of me?”

Ryan swerved to look at Min, walking backwards, “I threw a baby turnip in their face, didn’t think it’d work though”

Looking back on it, Min had honestly thought that it was a bullet that flew next to his face, thinking his rifle had triggered on it’s own to save him, but the trajectory didn’t make any sense. There was only one possibility then, “Holy shit Ry that thing felt like a rocket when it passed me.”

Ryan began walking forward again, taking large strides to get to the next door faster, “Haha, yeah uh...my guitar muscles again, i guess.”

As soon as Ryan put his hand on the handle of the next car, the ground started shaking violently, making the musicians fall on their backs. The train car they were on slowly began rising to the top of the train, shifting in gear for a moment.

They had seen this happen to different cars before, and they needed to get into the car now. Before it took off like a shot, Ryan pulled Min to his feet and opened the door, shoving Min inside and slamming the door shut before they could be whisked away in the wind. “God, can’t we like, chill before booking it to the next car?” Ryan groaned.

“Uh...Ryan?”

“Yeah-?” Ryan turned around, and his eyes took in the shine of the sight before them. Everything was submerged in water, bright blue and yellow buildings of all kinds towering before them as far as the eye could see. It was a shining utopia, a perfect underwater kingdom where dolphins swam freely between each tower. They were both onlooking the kingdom inside of an air filled bubble. Ryan had a far off look in his eye, like he was somewhere completely different, the shine getting brighter and brighter each time Min stole a glance at his friend, like the more he looked, the amazement increased ten fold.

It was pretty, but Min was more focused on another sight than the kingdom.

In their trance, they didn’t see that a pink dolphin had swam up to them, trying to get their attention. “Ho! Who art thee two clowns?!” the dolphin screeched, making the men jolt.

“Uh...W-what was that?” Min took Prism in his hands to hold them close.

“I hath said, who art thee two clowns?” It garbled in the water.

“...Uh...we art Ryan and Min-gi…?” Min replied back, his voice dipping into uncertainty at the dialect spoken by the dolphin.

“Don’t worry Min, I got this,” Ryan stepped up, coughing into his hand before placing it on his chest, “Verily valorous sir! might we maketh acquaintance with thy current ruler on this timeth of day?”

Of course Ryan would start talking like that. Min only facepalmed.

Although, the dolphin seemed shocked at the mention of a ruler, whipping its tail in frustration, “Our ruler, thee sayeth? prayeth bid, how wouldst thou knoweth of our king?”

Ryan froze, only for a moment, before raising his arms in question, a dopey grin adorning his face, “Uh...lucky guesseth?”

Min facepalmed again, fearing there might be a red spot on his forehead.

The dolphin narrowed its eyes, swimming closer to the two in suspicion. Min would probably be suspicious too if some guy said ‘lucky guesseth’. The dolphin pulled back, whirling around in delight, “Splendid! we receiveth not many passengers 'round here. Alloweth me to guideth thee to the king.” it started swimming forward, waiting for the men to follow it.

Ryan only looked back at Min smuggly, turning to follow the dolphin. Sometimes Ryan’s negotiation skills were hit or miss, miss more often than not. It looks like this was a homerun, making Min sigh fondly before walking next to him.

The farther into the kingdom they got, the brighter the towers seemed, sounds of the dolphins majestic cries getting louder as well. It seemed like it was a complete paradise to the dolphins, a safe haven for any underwater creacher that was in need of refuge. Multicolored fish swam next to the dolphins too, shining bright pinks and purples as they went from tower to tower.

A kingdom this big and glorious reminded Min of when him and Ryan first got into new York. Min could still picture it, giant neon billboards and bustling street life filled every corner of the metropolis, never a dull moment to be had in the city of dreams. And Ryan, his eyes sparkled just like back then. He could still remember their arms interlocked as Ryan pulled Min all across the place, pointing to whatever place caught his attention. It made Min realize how much he wanted this. No matter what he thought, just being there with Ryan and seeing the sights was all he needed. The dull pains of remembering the women Ryan brought to their hotel rooms would melt away, content he still had him by his side, and that he hasn’t left him.

“It's been any moons since we has't seen humans. The king shall beest joyous to seeth thee.” The dolphin announced as they made their way to a grand palace, intricate statues of dolphins adorned on every windowsill in sight. It was coated in the vibrant blue seen all across the kingdom, but spires of pink and blue seashells stuck out of the top of each building connected to the main palace. It was extravagant to say the least.

A drawbridge lowered for the men to enter into the main hall, where it wasn’t submerged in water. They walked warily, hearing the drawbridge closing them off from the paradise behind them. The interior was nothing like outside, all the walls being pristine and white, gold pillars lining the walls leading up to a giant door, two fountains with dolphin statues squirting water into them stood side by side next to the door.

“Who knew Chicken Choice Judy would be playing for a king! We really made it big Min!” Ryan strode to the door.

“We don’t have our instruments man, plus I really don’t think they’re the music loving types…” Min walked up to one of the fountains, looking down to see his reflection. His hair was a complete mess…

“You don’t know that.” said an unknown voice, seemingly coming from the fountain Min was looking at. He stumbled back, seeing a silly smiley face emerging from the water. “Ah, sorry! Didn’t mean to spook you like that!”

“Th-the water talks...honestly why didn’t I see that coming…” Min muttered, patting his pants down. Prism hissed excitedly, slithering to the water and jumping into its body, making it giggle, “Hey, that tickles!”

Ryan pulled Prism out washing them off with the hem of his shirt, “Sorry about them, they really like water for some reason...um...who are you, actually?”

“I’m Randell, but my friends call me Randell.” it bowed its head(?) in greeting.

The duo looked at each other in confusion, but decided the trouble wasn’t worth it.

Ryan placed Prism on his shoulder once more, bouncing on the balls of his heels, “So...Randell. What’s the king like? Is he all serious? Or is he one of those kings that’s silly and bakes cookies for visitors?”

“Hm...well he’s definitely wacky...you two are in good hands, I would think! Every human that comes through here gets a room to stay the night in, so don’t sweat it!” it proclaimed, putting its hand(?) on its chest boldly.

After being chased in the previous car and almost being blown off the train, the men sighed, finally earning the rest they deserved. Looking at each other with relaxed expressions, they waved off Randall before going into the door.

“...But wait...I’ve never seen humans come back out of those rooms...I’m sure they’ll be fine!” Randell dipped back into the water, awaiting the next passenger to talk to.

Inside the throne room, it wasn’t that much different from the main hall, except for the throne submerged in water where a dark blue dolphin with scars all over its body sat there. They knew they had nothing to fear, but the sight still made them both shudder.

The voice didn’t match the appearance though, a high squeaking came from it, “What business doth thou has't in mine own kingdom?”

Min could tell Ryan was trying his hardest not to double over in laughter, “U-uh...y-your highness, we cameth s-seeking a way to the red door…” he clutched his stomach, feeling his face turn a deep crimson.

Min elbowed Ryan, thinking it would knock some sense into his friend. It didn’t help at all though, Ryan letting out a puff of laughter, grinning from ear to ear. It was refreshing to see how much Ryan was enjoying himself, if this were any other time, Min would join in on the laughter, feeling like it’s contagious, somehow. But right now, it was probably the worst time to laugh in front of nobility.

And Min was absolutely right, the regal dolphin snarled in disgust at Ryan’s boisterous laugh, “Another human who laughs in mine own court! Thee disrespect the kingdom and me! Wherefore art thou laughing!?"

Min put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, shaking him out of his laughter while he wiped a tear away, Ryan saying, “No no! It’s not your kingdom! It’s the voice! Geez louise I wasn’t expecting that!”

This seemed to have upset the dolphin even more, wiping its tail, “Voices! voices! it is the same for thee all! i shall enjoyeth putting thee in the ringeth once more!”

Min looked up to the dolphin, a terrible feeling sinking to the bottom of his stomach, repeating softly, “r-ringeth…?”

They didn’t get a chance to find out what that meant when a stinging pain surged through the back of Min’s head, black enveloping his vision.

~~

A soft patter of water hitting the ground was the first sound that Min could hear, light seeping into his eyes as a dull pain from the back of his skull started aching. It was easy to assume someone hit them, probably for pissing off that king. Ryan lay right next to him, starting to gain his bearings at the same time as Min. It seemed like the two were in some sort of luxury suite, still having the aesthetic of the kingdom down below them. A giant, round bed was to the right of them, a luxury bathroom with a fountain was to the left, and a porch looking out into the kingdom to the front of them.

A knock from the door behind them rang out into the room, although they didn’t get time to process what was going on when Prism slithered out of Ryan’s pocket (when did they get in there?) and went to the running water in the bathroom. They’d have to check that later, but right now the knock was more important.

Min got up and opened the door to see the hallways in water, two dolphins with armor on them having (somehow) knocked on the door.

The left one started, “Thee has't did violate a sacred law 'mongst the dolphin raceth, disrespecting the king's voice. Thou art to duel in the ringeth to the death as punishment, tomorrow shalt beest thy doom.”

It didn’t fully sink in until Ryan shrieked, “TO THE DEATH!?”

Min paled, trying to grab at the dolphins until the door was slammed in his face, making him fall to the ground. He shook it off, immediately going back to bang on the door as loud as he could, “What the fuck is wrong with you!? This has to be illegal! What the actual fuck!!”

“Dude what’s going to happen!? Why are we always in deep shit!?” Ryan held his head in his hands, sweating like a pig.

Min looked back slowly, giving Ryan the most deadly glare reserved for him alone, feeling his nails dig into the frame of the door, “Ryan. What the fuck was that?” his voice was dipped in venom, but the brunette didn’t seem to notice.

“Wuh-? Bro you didn’t help either, you were the one that elbowed me.” he looked away, crossing his arms in a huff.

Oh. Right. Min totally forgot about that. His grip faltered, still feeling his lips snarl painfully. This was a complete nightmare wrapped in another nightmare, coated in shit. Min’s mind was in a complete buzz, feeling like a black cloud of scribbles was invading his entire body. It hurt, it felt like a crushing weight was suffocating him, leaving his lungs a shriveled mess. “I...I’m going to the balcony…” was all his voice could strangle out, his hands holding onto his arms, nails digging in them like he was trying to draw blood.

It didn’t really help just staring out into the vastness of the kingdom, it made Min feel even worse, actually. He sat on a nearby chair, and noticed two things he had forgotten about. One, the gun on his back pressed up against him, making him sigh and carefully place it onto the ground. It still scared the ever living crap out of him, he heard of people hurting themselves misusing them, but he still kept it, a voice in his head telling him it might still help him in the future. And secondly, a small box in his pocket shifted, making him pull it out and immediately remember why he forgot about it.

Cigarettes from a convenience store Min had secretly bought without Ryan knowing sat in his palm. He hadn’t opened it yet, the seal still perfectly untouched the whole time on the train. It was the best and worst time to be having one, so that’s why Min opened it. The white stick glided across his finger tips, pulling out a lighter from his breast pocket and lighting it up.

The smoke went smoothly down his lungs, no different from every other time he’s done it. He let the excess smoke dribble out of his mouth, floating to wherever the hell it was supposed to go in this place.

A small voice came from behind him, “Didn’t know you smoked…”

Min startled, looking to see Ryan holding a slightly damp Prism in his hands. There was no point in hiding it now, “Uh...yeah, not often though…”

Ryan hesitantly sat next to him, looking out into the kingdom pensively, “When...did you start?”

“...A little after I started working at Dumpty’s...in between working and practicing my stylophone, it started getting pretty stressful, soooo…” he took another puff.

“Did...your parents ever know…?”

“Hell no man, you think they’d be happy to see me destroy my lungs? They’d ground me and take away my stylophone, since they knew how much I still wanted to play with you…”

A light pink dusted over Ryan’s face, but he continued anyway, “Y-yeah, your parents...they scare me a little, no offence.”

“God, none taken. They basically had my life planned out from the day I was born. I’m convinced they have some sort of secret schematic hidden in the basement, or something like that...Any changes to that plan and it was bye bye to my stylophone for a month or more…” Min felt his lip starting to snarl again, taking a puff to calm his nerves.

“...You think they cared about you, though? Like, they didn’t want you to fail in life…?” Ryan furrowed, biting his lip to stop more statements pouring out of his mouth.

Min could feel the smoke in his lungs when he spoke again, “Yeah, they cared. Could’ve been less overbearing, but they still cared…” a click went off in Min’s head, “...And your parents...well...I never really asked about them before.” but he knew how Ryan felt about them.

“...Y’know, being the middle child sucks. My older sisters needed help getting into college, and they became adults before me, making them more ‘mature’,” Ryan crooked his fingers sarcastically, “and my younger brothers were trouble makers, constantly needing attention so that they don’t get into more trouble…”

Min continued, “So then your parents...didn’t pay attention…?”

Ryan curled into himself, “I didn’t care if it was bad attention, I just wanted them to at least look at me...I knew they never really cared when my dad said I could have his van. It was too easy, why the hell would you give your van to the kid you barely knew? ...later I found out they were going to sell the van anyway, no matter what happened to it…”

The air was heavy with smoke now, Min having almost burned his fingers from listening so intently to Ryan. He had only met the Akagi’s during backyard cookouts or sleepovers at their place. They seemed nice enough, but they never really bothered Min and Ryan when they hung out. Was it really because they didn’t ever have the mind to ask ‘Ryan’s friend’ how he was doing? It was too late to tell now.

“You were...the only person I could really talk with. Someone who paid attention to me no matter what I did...until you weren’t…”

The sudden words from Ryan shocked Min out of his trance, gripping the cigarette in his hand with considerable force. The words that fell from his mouth were completely unprocessed, “...I regret that...I was throwing away something I didn’t know would be so important in my life...and I feel that way about you too. The one person I could genuinely talk to and I threw it away without realizing it…”

“You...regret it?” Ryan looked up at his friend, a deep seated guilt lying dormant in his eyes.

“Why...do you sound so surprised?”

Ryan looked at Prism, they looked back up at him, seeming to be worried for him, “I don’t know...in the past, you said a lot of things that made me think…’I’m holding him back’ or ‘he’ll change his mind about this eventually’...I mean, you were right, a blind road trip with no money or gigs was not a plan. A part of me actually understood why you left that night on the battle of the bands…” he looked down at his hand, “it wasn’t really our music career I was worried about, if you know what I mean.”

Min was a little surprised that he did know what that meant, “Yeah...I missed you too…”

Ryan watched as his number slowly descended under triple digits, landing on 98 afterwards. He didn’t smile though, clenching his fist to hide the neon lights, “I mean, I regret leaving you in that rinky dink town, god knows I’ll never do that again…”

The view to the kingdom seemed a lot brighter than before, feeling like the smoke from Min’s cigarette cleared up significantly over their conversation. All that was left was a pleasant silence, washing away any worries that plagued them before.

Min held up the remains of the cigarette in his hand, “Wanna try?”

Ryan looked back, his hair somehow frizzled in surprise, “H-huh? I mean, y-yeah! No duh, man! Gimme!”

The cigarette was passed off, Ryan taking in a large amount of smoke very quickly before coughing violently in his hand, making Prism bounce off of his hand and onto this lap. Hearty laughter came from Min, clutching his stomach to try and contain it all. Ryan smacked him on the shoulder hard (no doubt it would leave a bruise later), shouting, “You knew that was gonna happen, asshole!”

It felt like those times in middle school had never left the duo, still being able to comfortably joke around each other without a care in the world. It almost made them forget they were probably going to die tomorrow, but somehow, they both knew everything was going to be okay.

Min finished laughing, wiping a tear from his eye, “Okay okay, it’s pretty late out, we should sleep.”

Ryan looked back into the suite, but snapped his head to the front with a small blush, “Y-yeah...there’s kinda one problem though…”

Going back into the room, Min immediately identified their problem. There seemed to be only one bed in the entire suite.

It’s not like it’ll be awkward though, they’ve shared one bed before. With all those sleepovers they’ve had, Min knows how Ryan sleeps. He’s pretty clingy, hugging onto anything he can find in his sleep, including Min, and he likes stealing most of the blanket, which gets annoying most of the time.

This time felt different though. It’s been a while since they actually shared a bed, Ryan making absolutely sure they slept separately ever since their tour around America. Ryan always says it’s because he could sleep with girls when they come over, but Min’s never actually seen a girl in his bed before.

“So who’s sleeping on the floor?” Ryan broke the long and awkward silence.

“What!? Ryan c’mon, one night in the same bed won’t kill you.”

It looked like Ryan was about to complain when Prism jumped out of his hands, slithering under the blanket of the bed, and popping out of the other side. He sighed in defeat, “Just one night...alright…”

The bed looked bigger than what it actually was, it could fit one adult man in it, but it could barely fit two. They were practically squished against each other, there was no way to stay on opposite ends without touching the other. Min faced Ryan on his end, their faces way too close for comfort. He could feel their chests pressed together, his legs starting to mingle with Ryan’s. This was...very different from the sleepovers they had. Ryan just stared up at Min, his blush almost as red as his shirt, “Th-this is so warped…”

A stray strand of hair fell onto Ryan’s face, hiding his dark eyes with it. Carefully, Min traced the strand to the back of his ear without thinking, smiling softly, “This isn’t so bad, right?”

The lights in the room went out suddenly, making it too dark to see, but through the darkness, Min could tell Ryan blushed deeper.

“...Y-yeah...guess so.” was all Min heard before a pair of arms snaked around his waist.

~~

A soft smell of sweat burned at Min’s nose, making it wrinkle in disgust. Did Ryan sweat in his sleep? Min never remembered that happening before…

His question was answered when he opened his eyes. He wasn’t in the suite anymore. And Ryan wasn’t at his side, neither was Prism. The room was pretty dark, but he could tell it still had the same aesthetic as the inside of the palace. The one difference was that there were some types of items up on the walls, but it was too dark to see.

The ground shook under Min, making him notice his rifle was on his back. He never remembered putting it on again...He didn’t have time to look around when the ground started rising, just like outside of the train from before. ‘Where the hell am I!?’ was all he thought before a bright shine of light illuminated the room. Swords and shields hung from the walls, and Min knew where he was when seeing them. This had to be below the ring that the king was talking about.

And now, he was rising to said ring above him.

Min’s nails scratched at the floor beneath him, a rising anxiety taking a hold of him. Where was Ryan? He had to be somewhere, he had to be safe, right? They wouldn’t just pick them off one by one, would they? Min’s lungs screeched out all the air they had, “RYAN!!”

“MIN!!” There was a reply, coming from the opposite direction of the ring he was now brought up to. There he was, Ryan clutching his chest in a panic similar to Min. Min’s legs acted on their own, running to the one person he couldn’t lose again, no matter what.

“Doth not runneth any further to each other!” The two stopped, looking up to a balcony with water in it, the king watching over the ring intently, “It is with pleasure, i announceth, that these two passengers duel each other to the death!”

A crowd of dolphins chirped in delight, surrounding the ring to watch the bloodbath that was going to happen. The duet looked at each other, uncertain of what to do. They have no clue where the red door was, so they didn’t have any other way to get out of this. But Min knew, they weren’t going to fight to the death. It was crazy, they were best friends, the king was insane for thinking that they’d fight each other-.

That is, until Ryan threw a punch at his face, narrowly missing when Min ducked down. “R-Ryan!? What the-!”

There was no warning, Ryan was throwing punches left and right, Min only barely dodging out of the way with quick movements. He had absolutely no idea Ryan could fight like this, if it were any normal person, they’d probably get hit by now and be writhing in pain on the ground. Min caught Ryan’s hands in his though, taking one big windup before whacking his skull against Ryan’s, making him stumble back with blood coming from his nose.

Min thought he had him weakened, but was quickly disproven when Ryan wiped the blood off and shot to his stomach, gripping on tight enough to almost snap Min’s spine. “W-what the hell...has gotten into you...! Ryan-”

“The rifle...use it…” Ryan whispered into his stomach.

Min paled, “W-what!? I’m not going to kill you-!”

“Not that you narbo! Look at the balcony!”

Min looked closer to where the king was, seeing the red figure of a door-like shape behind him. It was clear as day now, this was a distraction. Min regrets hitting Ryan in the head now, just a tad.

The moment felt like it was frozen in time, only Ryan, Min, and the rifle on his back were in it. He knew what he had to do, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready. Ryan gave Min enough time to pull it out and shoot, but he didn’t have the guts for it. He knew what Ryan would say in the moment, telling him to shut up and do it already...and maybe he was right. This was do or die, literally. No more holding back, no more what ifs, the time is now!

Min took the rifle from his back, loaded the round, and took aim. After a slow, and calm breath, he warned, “Brace yourself!” before shooting, the shockwave sent both men to the ground. The shot hit the bubble that separated the water from the air in the ring, rushing out, the king coming out with it. The water quickly started filling up the ring, making the men float up without much of a problem. They were almost there when the sound of the king filled the ring, “GET THEM!”

Behind them, dolphins in armor were speeding to their side, lances wielded by them as their weapons. “The door! It’s right there!” Ryan yelled, pulling Min up on the balcony once he made it.

“Wait! Do you have Prism!?” Min stood up, looking at the dolphins who were right on their tail.

At the call of their name, Prism popped out of Ryan’s pocket, but unfortunately, they saw all the water that had filled the ring, and started making a break for it. “Prism no!” Ryan dove for them, catching them as they were about to enter the water. It was only a moment of relief though before a dolphin guard came out of the water to try and stab them. In a brisk movement, Min pulled Ryan back and wacked the back of his rifle to the dolphin’s snout, making it fall back into the water.

“We’re leaving, now!” Min pulled Ryan by the collar before letting go and opening the door, letting Ryan pass before slamming it shut.

They’re still not going to get used to being chased, but the moments in between were always welcomed. Min was still panting, but looked back at Ryan, who was in the middle of scolding Prism for being so reckless, their head hanging in shame. Min let out a long, drawn out breath, “You have no right calling them reckless. I honestly thought you were going to beat me to death back there.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t. Although I did think about punching that smug mug of yours, just to make the fight more realistic.” Ryan grinned, letting Prism sadly slither into his pocket as a punishment.

“Tch, warn me next time, alright? I swear you’re way too imprudent.” Min smirked.

“Sorry, me and my guitar muscles don’t understand what that word means. I’ll just take it for being really cool and handsome~.” Ryan pointed back at him, winking like he does whenever he teases him.

Actually, Min was a little glad the train was this death defying, if not, Min and Ryan probably wouldn’t realize how well they worked together under pressure. And that’s all they’re happy for, at the end of the day.

Chapter Text

Summer days were always Min’s favorite. Soaking up the sun, no school work to worry about, and most of all, jamming out with Ryan. Each summer they’d always set aside time to work on their band and write songs about anything they could think of. It started out silly, writing the lyrics of ‘I’m gonna dress my dog in a toque’ on the back of a stray napkin when they were 6. But as they aged, the songs they came up with seemed more like unrequited love songs than silly songs. At age 15, they both stopped the tradition, opting to just hang out and talk about nothing and everything together. Those years felt the most tense-filled than the other summers.

One thing Min did hate about summer was the sand at beaches. It was coarse, rough, irritating and it got everywhere. Plus, when it was extra hot, he could feel the bottom of his feet light up on fire.

So right now, in a hot beach car with sirens in the water, Min felt rightfully miserable.

The sun in the sky felt like a ray of death, like it was trying to burn Min alive somehow for just standing there. Ryan was reveling in it though, playing in the water with the sirens he was so obviously flirting with, but none of them seemed to take the hint. Didn’t stop his friend from trying.

“Alright, which one of you lovely ladies wants a kiss from a famous rock star?” Ryan opened up his arms dramatically to the sirens floating in the water, watching as they all looked confused to each other.

Min just stood under a nearby palm tree, looking down at Prism sullenly. Again with the women, again with flirting without thinking of the consequences. Min’s been trying his hardest to keep these poisonous feelings at bay, telling himself ‘this is completely irrational, what he does with his love life is none of my business.’ But lately it’s been getting worse, driving him to nights where he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Min was content with Ryan. They both agreed they’d stick together no matter what happens. But, the more Min thought about it, the more impossible it seemed. They couldn’t always be by each other’s side. It was inevitable, but they were going to marry women, have kids, and break up the band for selfish reasons. Min pictured it in his sleep, he would be the best man to Ryan’s wedding, watched as he was married off to some bitch Min didn’t even remember. And, he’d watch Ryan leave his life. Again.

It was something Min had already accepted as fact, but unconsciously, there had to be some way to prevent this from happening.

And, it didn’t help that their numbers were, once again, at a standstill. Ryan wasn’t even trying to talk about their problems. Well, neither was Min, but there was practically one thing left for them to talk about. The fight in their car. It was promised that they’d talk about it when Ryan was ready, but so far he gave no inkling of being ready at all. On drowsy nights where they’d camp out, Ryan looked pretty deep in thought, it was completely unlike him. Maybe the fight is what was on his mind, but it was hard to tell.

So when it looked like Ryan was thinking, Min would also think about it. The words said would repeat in his mind, things like ‘Then what was that ditch for!?’ and ‘Just, forget it, okay? That song just gets to me…’ were prominent lines that suck in his mind like super glue. The song they played that night was Castle of the Lonely, a song they came up with in reference to Morgan. It had personal touches, but it was still about her.

The thing about it though was that it was written in one sitting at a bar, where Ryan had spotted one of his exes. She was the one that ‘borrowed his van’, and never gave it back. So, in spite, Ryan grabbed a napkin and wrote out the song, stealing glances at Min like he was drawing instead of writing. When Min first saw it, he told Ryan about how much it reminded him of the crazy castle they stayed in, making Ryan visibly relax and agree, almost like it was a second thought.

Min wanted to add a second verse after the chorus, but Ryan had completely shut that down by saying it’s fine as is, albeit a bit slurred from all the alcohol consumed that night.

A cry of laughter rang out, dragging Min's mind out from the past. The tic where his lip snarled came back as he saw Ryan throw himself onto the siren, asking them to kiss him, ‘please!’

It was time to go, they stayed long enough in this car.

Min marched over to the brunette and tugged at his collar, practically dragging him through the sand as he made his way to the red door, which was just behind the palm tree.

Ryan wasn’t without his complaints though, “What the hell!? Min let go! I wasn’t finished!” he thrashed around, surprised at how strong Min’s grip was on his shirt.

“We’ve been here long enough, this isn’t even helping us at all.” Min growled, pulling the door open with a little too much force than necessary.

Once out, Ryan pulled back, dusting off any sand from his pants, “okay, what was that about? I was just playing with the sirens, no need to get all snippy about it.”

There was a small voice in Min’s head, telling him that Ryan always does this, he can’t even see how much it was hurting Min deep down. He needed to get rid of that voice soon, but old habits die hard, “It was pointless Ryan, why would we stay if it wasn’t helping us?”

A flash of emotion waved past Ryan’s eyes, but it was too hard to tell what it was before it was gone, “You…” it looked like he was weighing his options, before saying, “You aren’t jealous, are you?”

In the distance, Min swore he heard a stick snap in two, “What’s that supposed to mean!? What, I’m jealous that you’re good at picking up chicks!?”

Things were escalating quicker than expected, the word ‘jealous’ sent every negative feeling Min’s ever felt back into his head. Jealous of what? He had no reason to be jealous whatsoever. They were equals, playing music together as one shared goal, but it wasn’t enough. How couldn’t it be enough? Min thought he was getting better about it, but when he was jealous, it would bring him back to the start.

“Ugh, nevermind! You don’t get it!” Ryan cried out, walking past Min in a hurry, coming to his own conclusions, it seemed. “God, you’ll never get it.”

Min looked back, his hands clutching his arms again. Did he miss something? It sounded like something Ryan’s been keeping to himself this whole time, that he didn’t even tell Min about it. It could be something for them to fix, but Min was too emotionally drained to think. Looking down at his hand, he didn’t even notice, but his number went up. It now read 120.

He only wondered if Ryan’s changed too.

Ryan was already in the next car, not bothering to call for Min to follow. A part of Min didn’t want to, but another screamed for him to go, before it was too late.

With heavy steps, he stepped into the door, closing it behind him before looking up. Large gears spun in place, a soft tune playing throughout the inclosed space. It sounded like a music box, maybe because it was.

Ryan was nowhere in sight, making Min feel a pang of fear run through his stomach. It made no sense, he wanted to be away from the guy that made him jealous, but he also couldn’t leave his side. This all made Min want to throw up.

The music stopped. A moment of silence passed before a new song started playing, and Min immediately recognized it.

That song again, Castle of the Lonely...Ryan must be the one playing it. Min walked around the gears, looking to see Ryan moving around to play the song, singing the lyrics softly under his breath. It almost looked like he was dancing in his element, a routine practiced day in and day out, but for no one to perform for but himself. Or maybe, it was for someone.

Although, a part Min didn’t recognize started playing, like a continuation, accompanied with new lyrics.

“He’s right there,
Right in front of you,
But he won’t stare,
He won’t look at you.

Why would he stay?
Maybe it’s because,
Of these stupid castle barricades!”

Was...that supposed to be the continuation? It wasn’t at all what Min would think, it was too upsetting, where’s the proper conclusion? ‘Maybe not all things have a conclusion’ he thought.

Once it seemed like Ryan was done, Min walked out from the shadows, clapping for his performance. The sudden noise scared Ryan out of his trance, looking at Min with fear.

“H-how long were you standing there!?” Ryan blanched, looking like he was vulnerable to anything at that moment.

Min was still a bit defensive, taking Prism from his shoulder to play with, “uh, the whole song and more, I guess…”

Ryan stepped back, “then...the last part…”

“Yeah, I heard it...sounded good…” Min paused, “Was it about Jeremy? Like, how Morgan wanted to keep him?”

A slow progression of surprise to bitterness filled Ryan, as much as it looked like he was trying to hide it, it looked like he was at some sort of limit, “...Yeah, something like that.”

“...Kinda makes you wish we still had our instruments, right?” Prism slithered around Min’s arm comfortably.

“...Yeah, and the car too.”

It was too obvious not to notice, Ryan’s trying to shut down the interaction. This wasn’t like him, he’d usually brush off any negative things that happened and move on, but right now wasn’t the case. It had to be about the sirens...no, this was about the ongoing problem that’s been affecting him for a year. Min was starting to get shut out, if it’s been going on for this long, it was bound to happen. Ryan was going to leave him, now there's no more denying it, they weren’t going to stick together, whatever made Min think they were?

“...Have you...ever thought about marriage, Ry?”

It was sudden, completely unprompted in Ryan’s eyes, but to Min, he had to know.

Ryan looked away, thinking of playing the music box keys again, “A lot of times, actually…”

Min felt like holding his breath, but he wanted to scream so bad too, “And…?”

“Ugh, I don’t know. When you’re in a band, people kinda expect the crew to have wives, and that this is just some side project with friends. But I kinda just wanna be free, y’know? This isn’t a side project, it’s what I wanna do.”

“It’s what a lot of crew with wives wanna do Ryan, not just you. It’s their job.” Min put Prism in his pocket, scared he’ll hurt them with how infuriating this conversation felt.

“Okay sure, but still, I’m not gonna tie myself down with a chick, I prefer to drift around.”

That did absolutely nothing to make Min feel better, “Really, so it’s just gonna be like that for however long the band stays together?”

Ryan flinched, looking around for an exit out of the car and the conversation, “L-look man, is this about the sirens?? They were just pretty alright? I just wanted to compliment them-”

“This isn’t about the sirens Ryan! This is about every girl you bring to our rooms! Were they ‘just pretty’? Did you ‘just want to compliment them’!? One fucking day you’re going to fall in love and run away with them, it’d make no sense if you didn’t!” Min walked up to Ryan and pulled him up by the collar, feeling like a sword stabbed him through the gut. The jealousy of Ryan, the need to stay with him, all of the women that try and take him away, it was too painful to bare, Min was desperate for answers, he just wanted to know what the fuck was wrong with himself.

“Min, that’s not true! I won’t do that-!” Ryan struggled, tears spilling from his eyes.

“Why then!? How do I know you won’t leave me again?!”

“Because I-!”

There was no time for Ryan to finish speaking when the sound of the music box’s keys twanged behind them. Min dropped Ryan, looking on in surprise. The cat from earlier had hopped onto the keys, tip-toeing to them cautiously, no doubt curious about what was going on, “No need to be frazzled, I’m just an on looker, nothing more.”

“Why are you here? Can’t you see we’re busy?” Min snarled, clutching the strap to his rifle.

“I mean no ill will kittens, I actually wanted to talk.” The cat saw the weapon on Min’s back, stepping back just in case.

Normally Min would be curious and ask, but with how tense the air seemed, there was no way whatever the cat wanted was good. Ryan spoke for the both of them, still slightly shaken up, “S-spill then, what do you want?”

“...You know, ever since the first time you two arrived on the train years ago, things have been awfully different. Changes were made, it’s a part of the reason you’re not in those gray suits again.” she gestured to their clothes, “You...made someone take action, not directly, but you implanted an idea in their head.”

None of what the cat said made sense. ‘Changes’? ‘Action’? There was a hidden story that’s been going on and they didn’t know what it was. The cat continued, regardless of their confusion, “This train used to have a previous conductor, they ruled the train with algorithms and numbers...but a passenger that studied under them took matters into their own hands, making themselves the new ‘conductor’-”

“Woah woah wait, what does this have to do with us!?” interrupted Ryan.

The cat looked shifty for a second, looking to the back of her nervously, “I wasn’t done, this new conductor, when she first saw you two, she-”

It was too late though, a crashing sound came from behind them, tentacles emerging from behind a gear. They all recognized it, frozen in place to see the masked machine leap over it and land on the keys. The cat arched her back, hissing displeasingly, “Wait! I wasn’t done!”

A garbled voice came from the machine, “I can’t wait anymore cat, you know how much I need this.”

Unconsciously, Min grabbed at Ryan’s hand, slowly backing up so the two could make a break for it if necessary, “You led that thing right to us!?” he scowled, his teeth biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

“No! It’s not what it-” she was swatted aside by the machine, the voice coming back on, “I have no need for you right now, I will finish this myself.”

Now was the perfect time to go. Min sprinted with Ryan in tow, not thinking of anything around them that was happening. All his brain told him was ‘run, run as fast as you can, you’re already good at running away, this shouldn’t be difficult.’ It stun, but he didn’t quel the thought at all. He didn’t even know where they were going, running to wherever the gears parted for them. Ryan was stumbling behind him, asking him to wait up, but Min was too focused on himself now that they were at a somewhat steady pace.

Min needed to get out of this place, it was suffocating, it was dangerous, it would drag him down, there was no reason to stay. It felt like he had this exact same thought, this exact same situation where he ran away and didn’t look back. And Ryan was there. He was always there. Ryan was-

Prism squeezed Min’s arm when they coiled around, making Min snap out of the past. He looked back, seeing Ryan screaming out for help under some ruble. The machine had gone berserk and destroyed most of the music box, Min having been too focused on himself to notice. And in front of him, was the red door, wide open.

“MIN! HELP ME!” Ryan screamed, trying to pull himself from out of the ruble, clearly scared for his life.

Min looked at the whole of the room, the machine seemed to be looking somewhere completely different from where they had ran, so there was enough time for Min to pull Ryan out and run to the red door. But...he hesitated. His life was in his hands, he could rescue him, or leave him. He had a chance to leave Ryan before he could leave Min. It would save the heartbreak, save the unnecessary tears...Min hated things that were unnecessary.

All those unnecessary feelings Min had, the jealousy, the clinginess, it was so easy to get rid of them right here and now.

‘You’re a fucking hypocrite!’

He didn’t know where the voice came from, but it felt like a slash to his chest when he heard it. A hypocrite. A hypocrite that would leave the one person he could depend on. He was going to leave him. Right after he just complained about Ryan leaving him.

It didn’t make sense, why would he leave Ryan? Ryan has done everything for them, he’s been the one thing keeping them together, his optimism, his strength, his resilience, Min wasn’t jealous of him at all, he admired him.

So what was this empty, fluttery feeling he gets whenever he thinks of Ryan?

With new resolve, Min dashed for Ryan, pulling away as much ruble as he could before the masked machine sprung into view, making a break for the two men. Min’s heart raced rapidly, helping him dispose of the debris faster. It was close, but Min managed to pull Ryan out before more ruble fell from above, looking like it would have crushed him to death if Min didn’t help.

So now together, they ran. They dodged falling debris, stumbling out the door before more fell in front of the door, blocking the machine from chasing after them.

Ryan hurriedly closed the door, making absolutely sure they won’t be followed. He slumped down, heaving sighs of relief for long periods of time, breathing out, “Holy shit...that thing talks...what are the odds…” he laughed, wiping the sweat off his brow, “Min...thanks for-”

He turned around, finding Min digging his hands into his arms. He worriedly approached Min, discovering he had tears in his eyes, “Min…? Are you-?”

Min suddenly threw himself onto Ryan, sobbing heavily into his shoulder. The sobs wracked up and down his body, clutching tight to the back of shirt.

The thought of being away from Ryan made Min feel sick to his stomach. Ryan was his everything, and he thought about leaving him because of the stupid feelings he felt whenever he was around him. It truly was the worst thing Min could think of at all. That year where Ryan pursued their dream and Min stayed home was like hell. He didn’t want to go back to nights thinking of ‘what if’s, he didn’t want to go back to thinking about being by Ryan’s side. There was nowhere he’d rather be than with him.

So when thinking about leaving him, it made him feel like the devil. A wicked and twisted human being that thought about leaving his friend to die. There was absolutely no way Min would be forgiven, it tore up at his heart, leaving him a shriveled up mess that’d be begging for the rest of his life. Ryan was a saint, an angel from above, how could an angel forgive the devil of his sins…?

Although, once Min felt Ryan’s arms wrap around his neck, louder sobs came crashing down on him.

There were no words exchanged, they already knew what had been silently said.

Chapter Text

It was raining outside, the weather man on the t.v. softly lit up the living room, telling residents to stay indoors if they didn’t want to catch a cold. He said it would only be a light shower, but it was a complete downpour instead. It felt like a cosmic god was watching Min-gi this whole time, and as a sick joke, made it this crappy weather. That should have been the first sign why he should have just run away without a word to his parents...just like Ryan did.

“You guys don’t get it! This is what I really want!”

“Min-gi, you’re being irrational, you’re just confused-”

“No, I’m not confused! If you can’t see me for who I really am then I shouldn’t be here at all!”

He turned his back on them, stomping out the door for the very last time. Behind him, he heard from his father, “I knew that Akagi kid was trouble, he’s going to drag Min-gi into hell with him.”

It took all of his willpower not to turn around and scream more. Ryan was waiting in the car, he didn’t want to keep him waiting even longer.

~~

Why now? Why did Min’s mind choose to replay that memory right now? It did nothing to quell his sobbing, only holding tighter to the man in front of him, no doubt getting his shoulder wet. Ryan just softly ran his fingers through his hair, letting Min melt into the crevasses of his body. They had no clue how much time had passed, it might have been minutes, maybe hours, but throughout the whole time, they didn’t move an inch.

A gentle hum came from the back of Ryan’s throat, it was a tune that Min didn’t recognize, but it calmed him somehow, his tears starting to dry out. His head slid to Ryan’s chest, feeling a pure heartbeat beating to the rhythm of Ryan’s humming. Everything is okay now, right? They were out of danger, the masked machine was trapped in the car and they had no reason to be scared, right?

No, Min still felt horrified. Not of the mask machine or of anything on this hell train, he was horrified of himself. He was scared for Ryan too. He almost just left him again, leaving him to die for the stupidest reasons he could imagine. Why were Min’s feelings more important than Ryan? They weren’t, it wasn’t even close.

His feelings were confusing and mixed, they were awful, sure, but it wasn’t Ryan’s fault that he feels this way. It was Min’s mind that came up with these thoughts, he could’ve ignored them, but he chose to acknowledge them. Ryan’s been nothing but kind with him, and how does Min repay him?

Min didn’t ever want to answer that question.

“Shhh...Min, you feelin’ better? Wanna try and get up?” Ryan was still carding through his hair, hopefully unaware of how much Min was leaning into the touch. He nodded, slowly letting Ryan pull him to his feet, wiping the last tears off of his face in a tried huff. Min didn’t think he deserved to cry like that, but he definitely needed it.

The moment was a little more than awkward now, what could you do after a situation like that? There was nothing and everything that should’ve been said, but neither had a clue what to say. Ryan tried talking, opening and shutting his mouth like a fish out of water. It would’ve been funny if the air wasn’t so heavy.

Min didn’t stop himself from speaking, “I’m...so sorry Ryan…”

To Min’s shock, Ryan started chuckling to himself, trying to hide it from him, “Uh huh, I don’t even know why you’re apologizing. But it’s probably for a stupid reason. You saved me man, there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Normally, Min would’ve scolded Ryan for being so insensitive, but after what just happened, Min couldn’t help but laugh too. It was stupid, and he didn’t even know how stupid it was. Maybe he should be taking this more seriously, but they were both alive, somehow, and that mattered right now.

“Y-yeah, I’m just...god I’m glad you’re here.” Min looked right into Ryan’s eyes, a smile spread right across his face.

Ryan blushed from ear to ear, looking back to the next car door to avoid the eye contact, “C-cool! Me too! L-let’s get to the next c-car, ‘kay?” With that, Ryan started walking to the next car. That is, if Min didn’t grab his hand at the last second.

“Wait, um...I just...can we talk about what just happened, I know it’s pretty awkward, but I just want things to be like...okay between us, I guess?” Min scratch the back of his head, looking away to try and keep things as casual as possible. He knew if he made things sound too serious Ryan would immediately back out.

It took quite a while for Ryan to look back at Min, his eyebrows furrowed a bit. He knew what Ryan was thinking, that he didn’t want to talk about something that almost drove a wedge in their relationship. Min didn’t want to either, but the lack of communication might harm them even more, in the long run.

Ryan whispered, almost too quiet to hear, “In the next car...please?”

Min let go of him, sighing shakily. Ryan was going to deny him, it was guaranteed, but it seemed something made him think otherwise. Min might never know why, but he’ll thank whatever it was later. He joined his side, now the two walking as slowly as humanly possible to the next car. Maybe whatever was inside the next car would be so hectic that they wouldn’t get a moment’s worth of rest, maybe the next few cars will be like that. Maybe it was for the best, each step Min took made him regret his choice even more. He prayed to the cosmic god that hated him so much to give them a hectic car.

But, the cosmic god hated Min for a reason, it seemed.

Shaky hands from Ryan opened the door, and they were greeted with a swamp, lighted up with fireflies and weeping willows encasing a river that seemingly went on forever. The sun had just begun to set too, making the whole place light up in a warm orange.

It was a perfectly beautiful car. Quiet too. Just great.

Although the quiet didn’t last when they heard someone call for them by the river, “Oi! You two! Git o’er here!”

The voice came from a large swan, floating in the water right in front of the duet. It flapped its giant wing for them to come, splashing the water all around it.

More train weirdness, although they were used to it by now, of course. Once they walked up to it, they noticed it had a huge indent in its back, with a weird square like bump in it that looked like a seat-

Min paled. ‘Oh fuck no’

“Where you two headed? I can give y’all lovebirds a ride to the next door!” it chirped, not having realized what it said made the men cringe.

“Uh, isn't there another way around…? Like, I don’t know, where we don’t do this?” Ryan waved his hands to the swan, clearly looking as disturbed as Min.

“ ‘Fraid not, water here is as thick as molasses, so swimmin’ through is a no go,” It used it’s head to gesture to its back, “buuuut, I know a way past...if y’all have no other choice…”

Min rubbed his eyes against his palms in frustration, groaning loudly like no one was around to hear him. A living swan boat. It was so obvious it hurt. The cosmic god wanted them to talk, it’s like they were pointing a gun to their heads. Well, Min had a rifle on his back and he could probably blow their brains out, but no metaphorical death of a metaphorical god could get him out of this one.

He wanted this to be over with, plain and simple. Then him and Ryan could go back to their perfect friendship, and Min could forget how much the women bother him.

“C’mon Ryan…” Min sighed, already accepting his doom and hopping into the ‘boat’.

It took a little bit longer, but Ryan accepted his doom too, sitting right next to Min. It was a tight fit.

“Alrighty roo! We’re off!” Soft pattering came from behind them, the swan moving like a turtle through the water.

So, there they were, looking anywhere else but at each other. They had every single minute in the world to talk about everything that’s ever been known in the universe. But would they do it? Min was starting to believe not. He wanted to talk, he wanted to bring up everything that was wrong with them, but two years was still a lot to talk about. If it were up to him, he’d maybe start with what happened in the music box car, since it was more recent. Although the wound was still a bit too fresh for that.

Lily pads floated in the water with no clear purpose, just simply existing for the sake of existing. Min sort of envied them, they didn’t have to think about the complexities of human relations, they just had to float there, doing absolutely nothing like it was the right thing to do. Well, maybe Min would rather be doing something, he learned that doing nothing was a bad idea the hard way. Their first train visit taught him a lot of things the hard way.

...Thinking of their first train visit, Min wondered how Kez was doing. Was she still living with Morgan? Did she not learn her lesson and start pissing people off again? Was she still friends with those assholes in the party car? Now that they were back on the train, they probably had a chance at learning the answer to those questions. But at the same time, the train was infinite. They’d probably never see her again even if they tried looking. That didn’t stop Min from wondering what she would do in this situation. She’d brush it off and talk about Morgan, probably.

“...You wonder if Kez is alright?” Min finally spoke after 10 minutes of nothing. He couldn’t really talk about Morgan, but Kez was a good start.

Ryan looked away from the trees and stared at Min, his eyes held a shine that he hasn’t seen since the Atlantis car. It made his heart flutter again. He really needs to go see a doctor about that.

“...I hope...she’d probably say how weird we’re acting and call us ‘corpses’ again” Ryan chuckled, making Min smile softly with him. This was a good start. Prism even joined in too by coming out of Min’s pocket, staying on the both of their laps to nap.

“Heh, probably...she’d probably float to wherever the door is and leave us here to like...talk.”

Ryan’s shine faltered a bit, humming in agreement. Okay, that wasn’t as smooth as Min thought it was, but he could probably salvage the conversation.

So if bringing up Kez didn’t work...maybe their first trip on the train might work? It was at least something to talk about, maybe it could lead into something worthwhile. “...She did some pretty weird stuff...like, what made her think putting butter in the microwave for 5 minutes was a good idea?”

Ryan’s shine came back in full force, “Yeah! Seriously though, that whole car was fucked up!”

Min giggled into his hand, feeling his chest warming up, “Totally, god if I had the rifle back then I’d kill the pig.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t kill him, but I would be happy if he somehow died of ‘natural causes’”

“Or by a freak rifle accident-” Ryan shoved Min playfully, laughing heartily. Min joined in too, happy to see Ryan wasn’t down in the dumps anymore. His smile was so wide, he couldn’t contain himself, Ryan’s laugh made more butterflies flutter in his stomach. This always happened when they were laughing together, Min was at his absolute happiest when with Ryan. So when he thought about being without him, it hurt all the more. A life of constant jealousy over women was better than a life without him.

“Really, why does our second time here somehow feel better then our first?” Ryan snapped Min out of his train of thought, wiping a tear from his eye.

They both silently looked at each other before saying in unison, “Kez.”

Another burst of laughter came from them. No disrespect to their friend whatsoever, it just made a lot of sense now that she wasn’t here. She always had a pension for trouble following her everywhere she went.

Another silence fell over them, but this time it was more comfortable than the first. Although Ryan broke it this time, “...Y’know, I was thinking, when we get off the train, we should get an apartment.”

Min blushed, having no clue as to why, he just felt his cheeks heat up at the idea, “W-what? We don’t even have our money, man. Without the car, we can’t do much out there…” he quickly stopped himself from going on a tangent, “...but what made you think that…?”

Ryan looked up at Min, a softness to his look that he’d only ever see once in a while. Min doesn’t think he’s seen him look at others like that, “Well, I’ve been thinking about it for a while, it’d be kinda nice, y’know? ...Plus it’d be a better start after the train than…” he trailed off, covering his mouth suddenly. It just slipped out without much thought, but Min knew what he was talking about.

“It's okay man, that was years ago. We’re allowed to talk about it.” Min relaxed, but the pang in his heart was still there. It was dull, but still there. “...But yeah, it’s better than screaming in your parents faces…”

Ryan straightened out, looking down at Prism before taking in a deep breath, “...I’m sorry...I heard everything that happened though…”

“...I figured honestly. I’d be curious too if I were you…”

Min remembers that night crystal clear. They’d decided after staying at a motel with the money Ryan barely had after they got off the train, they’d silently go take Min’s car from his parent’s driveway with his spare keys. Ryan had asked if Min wanted to at least say goodbye to them. They did have the right to know where their son had been for the past few months. So, once they both made sure they could get in the car, Min had told Ryan to stay in there until he was done, mostly because it was raining and he didn’t want him to be soaking wet.

At first, Min’s parents were happy to see him, asking him a bunch of questions about where he went and how he was still alive. He found out they’d reported him as a missing person, which was completely understandable. Although it was weird for him to think about how Ryan never got one…

Everything felt like it was going smoothly, that is until his parents asked about what happened the night he disappeared. It was a little hard to tell them that a magical death train kidnapped him, so he tried avoiding the question, until they brought up that someone had seen him chasing Ryan.

They knew about how Ryan ran away to pursue his dream, so immediately, they asked if that’s what he’s been doing for the past few months, ‘throwing away his life’ as they implied it.

Something in Min snapped. His whole life, they didn’t like his real dream, always tried to take away the one thing that brought him joy. And still after being missing for months, they didn’t change. Min only remembers jumbled screaming after that, and stomping out and into the car where Ryan was. Ryan was slightly damp, looking shaken up.

Min knew he was around the corner, listening, but he never asked him about it.

“...I’m sorry about that, honestly. I was the one that suggest that you-”

Ryan was cut off when Min put an arm around his neck, leaning close to him, “Ryan, you don’t have to apologize, it’s for a stupid reason away.” Min parodied.

“...I know you’re joking, but I feel like I have a lot more to apologize for…” Ryan ducked under him to get out of his hold, “...You were...really upset about the whole...women thing too…”

Min had been hoping this is what the conversation would lead to, but it still surprised him nonetheless, “yeah uh...I just...I’m scared you’ll leave again, that’s it…”

Suddenly, the light shining from the trees parted away, creating a heavenly glow that shined onto the two men. Ryan had a desperate look in his eye, his hands twitching closer to Min’s, “...As long as you’re with me, I’ll never leave you again Min. I know that’s not much of a promise…” He steeled himself, grabbing onto Min’s hand, “but we’re in this together, no matter what, I won’t let us fall apart.”

‘His hands are really soft…’ was his immediate thought. They were slightly callused from playing the guitar everyday, but still, his touch was gentle on Min’s skin. And his words, it was like a massive weight had been lifted off of him, leaving him a bright and smiling mess. ‘Only Ryan…’ he thought, fondly rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. He wondered if his knuckles would become wrinkly and bruise when they were older, but still be soft to the touch. ‘That’s so...cheesy…’

The dawning realization hit him like a goddamn truck. Or no, maybe like a flower blooming in his heart.

Either way, his eyes slowly widened, holding his breath like if he breathed in any more air, he would explode. Min now knew what word could replace jealousy whenever he felt that flutter. It was a terrifying word, a word that confused him, but made him feel happy too. Something that Min would feel whenever he looked at him, admired him, wanted to stay with him, wanted to be the one Ryan paid attention to-.

Love.

Oh...Oh.

‘Well fuck.’

Meanwhile, Ryan was waving his hand in front of Min’s face to get his attention, “Helloooo, earth to Min-gi? You still there dude?”

In all honesty, he wasn’t, “Uhh...wha..?”

“I asked uh, if you won’t leave me either…?” Ryan took his hands off of Min’s, seeming a bit self conscious in his decision.

It was a no brainer. Of course Min would never leave Ryan, not even for the world. Not with these new revelations, and, he needed to make up for his thoughts in the music box car. He needed to make up for it as soon as possible, he never wanted to think about it again. It might be easier said than done, but he’ll try, as hard as he can, for Ryan.

“Ryan, have you ever seen me with a girl? I won’t leave, promise, okay?” He joked, although he knew that joke was a bit too soon with the whole ‘I’m in love with my best friend’ realization.

It didn’t really hit Min until he thought about it. In love, with his best friend. It felt right, but so fucking wrong. His parents hated people like him, thought that they were all confused and needed correction-

It actually sounded like they figured out before he did, calling him confused when he walked out the door.

And Ryan, what would he think of him? He would probably leave Min if he ever found out, completely breaking the promise they had just made. That'd be fucked up, wouldn’t it? Min could just tell Ryan right here and now that he’s a queer, and everything they had just built up would come crumbling down. It was poetic, in a twisted way. There was no rational reason why Min would think Ryan would hate him too, but the general public hated people like him, so why not Ryan? Min wanted him to be an exception, but he doubted that would be the case.

Before Min could laugh like a madman, Ryan pointed down to their numbers excitedly. Oh yeah, they still had their numbers to worry about. Min’s had gone down a lot this time. His number landed on 55, while Ryan’s was at 64.

“What? How come your number dropped so much?” Ryan pouted, crossing his arms in a huff.

Min knew exactly why, but he couldn’t risk Ryan knowing, whatsoever. “uh...I just really wanna stay with you...y’know?”

Ryan blushed, rubbing his head dopily, “Haha, yeah, me too…”

The swan boat flapped its wings, signaling their arrival, “Oi y’all! We’re here!”

They both got off, helping each other and putting Prism in Ryan’s pocket. Before getting a move on, someone from the water they recognized spoke, “Awww, you guys are really cute!”

The smiley face from the Atlantis car popped it’s head out of the water, startled the duo, “Gah! W-were you listening the whole time!?” Min stuttered.

“Yeah...sorry about that, but if it’s any consolation, I think you two will be just fine!” Randell winked(?).

It was time to go. They waved to their helpers, going through the red door to continue their journey of self betterment.

But Min could only wonder. Would things get better? This new realization, this new obstacle that blocks his way could put a damper on their progress. Maybe their problem didn’t have to do with Min’s feelings for Ryan, maybe it was something completely different that he just isn’t understanding...No, this definitely had to do with his feelings. Why else would his number drop so much after all of that? And maybe, a part of their problem would have Min confess. He wasn’t ready. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready to confess.

But for now, when looking at Ryan, he had to suppress these feelings. He just had to make sure everything was still normal, act like he didn’t find out such a world ending secret that would ruin their friendship.

Ryan could never find out. No matter what. And if he did? Min could only hope his parents would give him food and shelter afterwards.

Because he knows Ryan wouldn’t.

Chapter Text

In a human’s lifespan, people tend to ask about 20 questions per day, whether it’s in their head or out loud. They usually wonder what they should eat in a day, or if their boss is an asshole at home too. Or, maybe ponder the existence of an ever present cosmic god. There are endless possibilities to the amount of questions people can ask, there is no limit to how outlandish or inane the question could be either.

Although, Min’s questions were just that, outlandish and inane. Especially when it came to his best friend, Ryan. Asking himself if Ryan ever had a thought in his life (probably not), or if he could stay quiet for more than five seconds (he couldn’t, but it wasn’t a bad thing).

And now, his more recent questions consisted of, ‘How long have I been in love with him?’

The Swan Boat car was long gone, but ever since then, Min was unable to get rid of that question since they exited it. The longer he thought about it, the more he tried tricking himself into thinking it wasn’t love. Maybe there was another label that fit with ‘indescribable happiness’ whenever Ryan was around...but so far, love seemed to be the only word that fit it. It was impossible to deny the feelings in his heart, how it would beat rapidly, how it fluttered, how it’d skip a beat. It was as cliche as a fairytale, Min was disappointed in himself that he didn’t figure it out way sooner.

So then again, that begged the question, how long has he been in love? It was harder to answer that than expected, coming up with all the moments he’s felt happy around Ryan. Well, he was happy with him all the time, as long as they stuck together, things would be okay...that wasn’t a very good answer, in Min’s mind.

Maybe it was those two years ago, after they left the train Min would feel light as air when with Ryan, a massive weight having been lifted off by him. It was incredible, like colors Min’s never seen before were making themselves known. But no, maybe he’s always felt that whenever the two would play music together. It was boggling Min’s mind how he missed all of these feelings, it all felt as clear as day now.

But, Min would never be able to share these feelings with Ryan, would he? It was obvious, he was the only one with these feelings. Ryan only ever dated girls, he wasn’t like Min. Which was good, if he wasn’t like Min, then he wouldn’t get slandered, he wouldn’t get hurt. Min was okay with it, he didn’t care, as long as Ryan was happy, Min was happy too.

It didn’t hurt any less, though.

“Min-gi? Brooooo, you’ve been zoning out a lot, y’know?” Ryan shaked Min’s shoulder to get him out of the funk he was in.

Min snapped his head to Ryan, biting his lip to make sure he wasn’t saying all of his thoughts out loud. It was a completely unnecessary habit, but it calmed him in a weird way. He slurred, “Huh, wha…? S-sorry, thinking about...number stuff…”

It looked like Ryan didn’t totally believe him, but accepted his lie anyway, “Cooool...anywho, gimme your rifle.”

“W-What!? Ryan, what did I say about handling it!?”

“I knoooooow! But I think we need it for this puzzle!” Ryan whined, sneaking up to Min to try and steal the rifle.

He had no luck, Prism slithering from around Ryan’s neck to face him, wearing a frustrated look on their face. “Ah, getting sassy, are we?” he grinned.

Min pulled the rifle from his back, huffing, “No, they just know you’re up to no good.” he took a quick look around him, finding targets in the shape of hands, plastered all around an empty yellow room. Simple enough. Plus it might be therapeutic, disembodied hands were not Min’s favorite, for obvious reasons.

He loaded the rifle, and in quick fluid motions, shot each hand. It wasn’t a perfect bullseye each time, but it was good enough to blow the hands into smithereens.

After each target was taken out, Min blew on the end of the rifle, quirking up his eyebrow to Ryan as a show of confidence. Even he could be cool, sometimes.

Something else hit Min. Was he blatantly flirting with Ryan this whole time?

Ryan looked away, putting a hand on his mouth. It looked like he was blushing, but it must have been a trick of the light, “Uh...You’ve gotten better at using that thing...kinda scary to be honest…”

Min opened the then closed door, slinging the rifle to his back, “Well, it’s better than being underprepared. And I’m sorry, but I thought you said it was cool before, after I thought you said it was scary…? Pick a side man.” he chuckled.

Ryan took Prism and softly petted their head, looking to the wastelands of the train, “I just mean how scary it is how fast you learned to use it. I still think it’s rad…”

Min looked back to the last car door, holding onto the strap of the rifle tightly. Ryan was right, he had gotten used to using the rifle. There were so many times he had to use it for them to escape imminent death. It was a necessity, without it, they’d probably be as good as dead.

And it goes without saying how much Ryan needs to stay alive.

One part of Min can’t help but accept how deeply he’s in love with his best friend. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, like every puzzle piece in his life was discovered and put together. But, it wasn’t enough to stop the little voice in his head, telling him he’s fundamentally broken. That a part of his genetic code was scrambled, right down to the last atom of his body. He wasn’t broken in a shattered glass way, more of a spreading crack that might turn into a problem later on. But right now, it was too small to deal with, so Min will just leave it. He’ll make sure the crack doesn’t spread any further.

“Min!”

Min looked back to Ryan, already at the next car door, while he was still standing on the bridge. He looks suspicious. Ryan knows something is up, maybe, he couldn’t not suspect something with how Min was acting.

“S-sorry-!” He ran over, shifting nervously in front of his partner. ‘Okay, act cool, he can’t read minds, that’d be crazy.’ “Uh…”

“Min, you’re spacing out way more than you usually do. Does this have anything to do with...y’know...hand, thing...gah you know!” Ryan tried mimicking the hand monster they encountered in the art gallery car. But he stopped, looking to the door nervously, rubbing his knuckles.

It made the both of them uncomfortable talking about that car, they both went through their own trauma with it. Min almost had his arm ripped out of his socket and left there to bleed out and die, and Ryan had to watch it all unfold before him. At first, Min thought it didn’t hit Ryan as hard as it did Min, but when he saw his bloodied knuckles and pink eyes, it was hard to deny that Ryan cared.

“Y-yeah, I know Ry. I was just thinking about the rifle...that’s all.”

Ryan’s eyes shifted around, Min could see emotions and thoughts whirl in his mind, but he could figure out what they were. Whatever he was thinking, his face settled into disappointment after it all. Min could swear he heard something along the lines of, “And you think I’m acting weird” under Ryan’s breath.

He knew something Min didn’t. It shouldn’t bother Min as much as it did at that moment. But it did. It made him feel like bugs were crawling under his skin. Did Ryan know about his feelings? Was he just pretending not to know for their sake? Was he going to keep it a secret until they made it home, where he would promptly announce to the world Min was a fucked up creep? Maybe, probably, it could happen.

Or maybe Min deserved it. He was broken after all.

‘No no, not broken, just need to keep things under control. Act normal.’

He touched the handle of the car door, feeling a tingle at the back of his neck. Weird. Anyway, Min opened the door, and was greeted with colorful lights that nearly burned his eyes if he didn’t cover them in time.

This car was unlike anything the two have seen so far. It was like a real open landscape, mountains and all, except, it felt...different. Like large, neon bright triangles were creating the world around them. And in the sky, weird shapes floated in place, their colors were brighter than the landscape around them. This definitely wasn’t something they expected in the slightest.

When stepping in the car, Min felt something jolt up his body, and it stuck to him. It felt like a small bolt of electricity was hiding in him, waiting dormant for one reason or another. It didn’t feel normal though, it felt bad. Extremely bad. He could worry about that later.

“Min...This place is…” Ryan trailed off, no doubt trying to explain the feeling Min just felt. He suddenly bursted into excitement, “This place is so cooooool!”

That definitely wasn’t the word Min was thinking of.

Ryan pulled Min deeper into the car, each step they took the triangles would light up, making the bolt inside Min grow bigger and bigger. It still felt horrible. Horrible.

They made it to a large river, which weirdly enough wasn’t made out of those triangles, it was made out of plain old water. And wherever water was, the smiley face was hiding...Randell was its name? Min braced himself, and low and behold, the smiley face came from the water again, making Ryan stumble back.

“Oh I did it again! Really sorry about that, fellows!” Randell worriedly hovered over Ryan.

“Ugh, that’s okay, I really need to get used to that.” Ryan hopped to his feet, a wide smile on his face. It didn’t feel like a real smile, it felt...unnerving for some reason. Wasn’t Min supposed to like Ryan’s smiles? Well, there’s a difference between a genuine one and one that belonged to a serial killer.

“Anyway, you chaps just got here, right? I could give you a few tips if you’d like!”

Min sighed in relief, saying, “Not like it matters...this place is pretty big and we might get lost…”

That definitely wasn’t what he was going to say. This wasn’t like the cold chill he’d feel whenever he was going to speak his true thoughts back in the art gallery car. Those words he spoke felt like something he would say, but he wouldn’t say it in a situation like this. Nothing forced him to say those words, though. We̵ird. Maybe he should wor̵ry about it later.

“Don’t worry about it chum! There’s actually someone here that can help!” Randell pointed his head to a cottage in the distance, small puffs of triangular smoke coming out of a chimney, “They’re a swell fellow, really. They might help you find the door!”

The duet looked to each other, Ryan still smiling widely. Was he just really excited? Maybe, he was always the excitable type. “Hey Min, don’t look so blue! Turn that frown upside down!”

Min wasn’t even aware that he was frowning. It didn’t feel weird though, he’s been told he has a ‘resting bitch’ face. That was probably the case.

While waving goodbye to Randall, walking to the cottage, Min took one last look at Ryan. He looked happy. Everything was normal, like it was supposed to be this way. But then again, this car felt different from every other car they’ve been to. They didn’t really know how it worked, but it sure as hell didn’t feel normal. Min was just irked, something in the back of his mind telling him to ask Ryan if he was okay. His mouth moved on it’s own, “Ryan, this place could be dangerous, we need to stay careful.” That wasn’t the exact words he wanted to say, but hopefully it got his message across.

Ryan’s smile faltered a bit, which made Min happy for some reason, “We just got here, things will be alright! You’re still acting a bit we̵ird.”

That last sentence didn’t go with the rest of what he said. It felt plastered at the end. Min was beginning to worry, the bolt in his stomach still getting bigger from each time they took a step.

A theory popped into his head. This must be those feelings of his again. Min couldn’t contain his love, maybe. That sounded so wrong, could he not keep in the most basic thing ever? He wasn’t trying hard enough, if he could keep a secret this big for years from himself, how come he couldn’t keep it in now?

They were already in front of the cottage, bright triangles forming the basic structure of the building. Min touched his hand on the handle of the door, but it opened up before he could turn the knob. They both stepped back in shock as a large looming presence stood before them.

It was...uncomfortable to look at. It wasn’t some creature with limbs and bones all over its body, nothing as terrifying as that. It looked human enough, four appendages, hair at the top of its head, and a face too. But it was also made out of those triangles that were everywhere, and its head was bigger then what would be considered normal. And the eyes looked cold, empty, devoid of any emotion.

Ryan was looking back at Min, a flash of worry in his eyes as he continued smiling, “This guy looks pretty interesting, right Min?” he wrapped his arm around his neck, squeezing tighter than necessary.

The...being, walked to the two with a limp, looking down at them with their...eyes, “You two look lost. I haven’t seen other people in ages, we can walk and talk about the bees when we look for the door.”

Prism slithered hurriedly back into Ryan’s pocket, startled by the being. If even Prism felt uncomfortable, then something was definitely wrong. Min should w̴o̸r̴ry about it later.

“Bees? I don’t see any bees.” Ryan looked all around him, turning around and around until he felt dizzy.

“They’re probably invisible bees...they’re the most dangerous kind.” Min felt his lips move all on his own. That was a completely stupid statment, there was nothing that was invisible in the world, how would-?

“The door is this way.” The being spoke in a monotone voice, limping away to the right of them. Ryan followed eagerly, skipping away without a care in the world. It was endearing, kinda cute too, Min wouldn’t mind seeing that again once they’re out of the train.

‘Hah, another error? I thought we were fixing what was brok̵e̶n̷’

The tiny voice in his mind felt way louder in his head this time, like it was whispering directly in his ear. Min shuttered, looking behind him to find no one at all. It was the wind, maybe. Before following for his friend, Min took a peek inside of the cottage the being came out of.

Pitch black. There was nothing but a black void inside. That...wasn’t normal in the slightest. Min should be worried, he had to be, but his legs moved on their own before he could worry. Maybe it wasn’t the time yet.

As Min joined up, he saw Ryan was waving his hands around as he spoke to the being, clearly excited about what he was talking about. Min felt the bolt in his stomach getting smaller. Ryan looked just like he did back in that bar, the night they boarded the train. He could talk to anyone so easily, no matter who or what it was. There were no exceptions, it just came naturally to someone like him. Min was a little glad Ryan was here, he’d never be as confident of a talker today without him.

‘Another one? You’re imp̴̛ͅo̶̫̎s̵̲̒s̷̼̈ible’

There was that voice again. This time it was louder, like someone was directly talking to him. Min knew there was no one there, that it was just his negative emotions, but for some reason they’ve been a lot louder lately. Sort of like in the art gallery car.

“Min-gi! Check this out!” Ryan called out, catching a floating shape in his hand and squeezing it until it popped into two, smaller shapes. The being watched over him, a small smile on its face.

It was creepy.

‘Not as creep̴̧̳͋y̷̙͗͠ as you’

That didn’t feel right. His thoughts, they didn’t feel like his now. It felt like a thought he would have normally, but it was somehow implanted in his brain, like a signal transmission that’s being garbled over the radio.

The being spoke, just like that garbled static in Min’s head, “I don’t get why people don’t come here often. It’s a very pea̸c̴e̵ful place, I usua̵͎̐l̷̹̎ľ̴͈y̸̖͊ want people to sta̵̐͜y̴̹̅ over too. It’s probably because I’m so b̷o̸r̶i̵n̶g, I just bore people away. No one wants to t̴̺̾a̸̟̒l̶̖͊k̴͓ ̸̛̖a̷̲̕b̵͔̉o̴͇̐u̸̺͝t̵̳̐ ̵͎̕b̸̻ẻ̵͚e̶̤s̵̐ͅ…̷̝̌”

This should have sent alarm bells off in Min’s head, he should be worried right now. But he wasn’t. There was nothing wrong, everything still felt relatively normal. His imagination was being active again, this car just had some weird vibe to it, that’s all.

Min looked up to see the being mumbling to itself, walking off into another direction, and Ryan had stayed behind, grabbing onto his hand while squeezing sporadically. It was a message, not morse code, but Ryan was trying to tell him something through that fake smile. So he wasn’t going crazy. Something was wrong.

The bolt in Min’s body felt small, like whatever’s been controlling him has started to let go of him, “Ryan…? This place...it’s not…”

The smile on Ryan’s face faltered again, and for the first time when entering the car, spoke a genuine sentence, “We need to go now.”

“ğ̸̖̯̍ŏ̵̺͐͠ͅ ̵̭̿̌̓w̸͖͖͙͛̐h̷̥͈̭̾͝ĕ̵͍̓r̴̡͂̓̊e̶͍̊̕͝?̷̬̖̄”

They didn’t have to look. They knew it was right next to them.

“It’s so ni̵̼͝c̸͙̒̑e̵̛̠̙ ̸̢͚̋ḫ̷͒ė̶͖͕̈́r̷̝̞͠e, why g̷͉͗o̸̮̿? I know we j̵̬̘̃ų̵̓ṡ̵̫̳t̵̳̅͌ ̷̛͆ͅm̴̥͊ẹ̶̣́t̶̜̘̓, but I thought̵͚̚ ̶̻̎̈́w̶̡̜͐e̸͉̤͒͒ ̵͚͆r̸̺̋e̵̛̗̓a̵̱̔lly had something, we shouldn’t ẁ̵̞̤͘o̴͖̯͐ṟ̷̲͌r̴̠̿͝y̶͚̮̓ about it and talk about ť̸͎͇ḧ̸̞̳́e̵͊͜ ̷̛̼̽b̵̬͒̕ͅë̴̜̠́̈e̴͙̕s̸͈͔̈́͘.”

Shouldn’t worry? That’s it, that being was putting those thoughts in Min’s head, making him feel like nothing was wrong. He felt the bolt getting bigger now though, starting to feel a shooting pain slicing him down the middle. Was this what it was like to lose yourself? To slowly realize how awful you actually were? Min understands now, he truly wasn’t okay. He wasn’t okay with watching Ryan be happy with someone else, he wanted to be the one that made him happy. He wasn’t okay with being hurt, he wanted to be happy too. But, loving Ryan wasn’t okay. It was wrong, disgusting, creepy.

Is this what being broken felt like?

“M̸̫̃ ̶̭̹͛ ̷̒͜͝I̵̛̜̦͘ ̴͖̏͛ ̷̡̗̽̿N̵̼͗̓ ̶͍̉͝ ̶̰͎̀͆?̸̕ͅ”

The world was crumbling around them, freaking out, in a sense. The sky was black, lines that outlined them and the world were turning neon blue. And looking down at their bodies, they were changing. The triangles were infecting them, going up on their body and onto their face. It hurt, it fucking hurt. It was like constantly getting shot all over the body, like they were overdue for dying the moment the triangles infected them. And all the while, they couldn’t scream, leaving them to fester and twitch like dying cattle. In the art gallery car, to Min it was like an aching pain in his mind, leaving him tired and fatigued. But this? It was an immediate pain all over his body, and it hurt way more.

But, the pain that Min felt didn’t compare to the pain in his heart when he saw Ryan try to scream and cry for help. He was hurting just as bad as Min, maybe ever worse from the looks of it. He wasn’t smiling anymore, he looked like he was truly terrified of dying.

With some of the energy left in him, Min pulled the rifle from his back, and shot at the general direction of the being holding them hostage.

It seemed to have worked, judging by the otherworldly screech and the triangles starting to disappear from their bodies.

“RYAN” Min grabbed a hold of Ryan’s hand, dashing with all of his power to anywhere but there.

This time, while dragging Ryan along, he made sure to give him time to catch up, to keep him in Min’s line of sight no matter what. This couldn’t be a repeat of what happened in the music box car, he couldn’t focus on just himself anymore, he needed to be there for Ryan, because now, he needed to keep him happy, he needed to keep him safe. It wasn’t a matter of being broken beyond repair, it was a matter of keeping the one person he loved the most in the world alive.

If he wasn’t, then Min would truly be broken.

A flash of white surrounded the world for a split second, before the triangles on their body started hurting them again. This time, they could cry out in pain, screaming like bloody murder.

Over their screams of pain, the being could be heard in the distance, making noises that couldn’t be perceived by human beings. It was coming for them, no doubt.

Ryan, in his state of absolute pain, clawed up to Min’s face, tears made of triangles falling onto him. “Min...I’̴̡̞̓͠m̶̥͆̈́ ̷̠̈́ş̶͉̍ȯ̵̪͉̒ ̷͎̖͗s̶̻͎̿o̷̧̟͂r̷̤͔̽r̸̩̦͠y...this was all of m̵̦̻̿y̴͕̑͆ ̵̤̲̋̾f̵͍̲͌ą̴͈͝͝u̸͚̖͐lt…” He cupped his cheek gently, placing his forehead against Min’s. Not before he jolted, falling just next to Min.

So, this is how they were going to die? Twitching and shuddering from all of the triangles coursing through them like a virus in a computer. Min would think it’s funny, how a virus, an error is killing him, but for Ryan to suffer the same fate was too cruel for words to describe.

Min turned his body, reaching to hold Ryan in his arms one last time…

Before something wrapped around his waist, pulling him away from Ryan suddenly. He wasn’t stopping either, the thing just kept pulling him, he had no clue where he was going. All he did know was that Ryan was left behind.

After a minute of being dragged away, he was suddenly outside of the car, the triangles completely gone from his body as he exited. He took in a deep intake of air before he looked to the thing holding him.

The masked machine pulled Min up to face it, a voice coming from it, “Finally, we can start our work.”

Min’s eyes widened, trying to break out of its hold, screaming from the bottom of his heart, “Where’s Ryan!? Where the fuck is he!?”

There was no response.

It shattered Min. He was still in the car.

The masked machine started moving in the opposite direction of the car, leaving Min whaling in pain as he was ripped away from the one he loved.

“RYAAAAAN!”

Chapter Text

“Min-gi!”

The call of a small child's voice could be heard in the distance, beckoning Min-gi to follow it. His parents told him that playing in the woods was dangerous, that he and Ryan could get lost if they weren’t careful. But with them being kids, they didn’t listen to the warning, going off to play make-believe with sticks as swords and giant trees being monsters.

Min rushed deeper into the forest, finding Ryan brandishing a stick to a particularly large tree. That seemed to be their target today. As fast as Min’s short legs could carry him, he dashed to Ryan’s side, holding a stick with plenty of mold at the end of it.

There was no time for Ryan to explain their situation before Min ran up to the large tree, wielding the stick over his head while screaming. To him, this was perfectly okay, the tree was big and scary, it had to be a threat.

But, Ryan tackled Min to the ground, taking the stick from out of his hands, “Min no! You can’t do that!”

Min looked to Ryan, clearly surprised by the intervention, “What gives!? We need to take down the monster!”

“No Min! This tree is a good guy! He just wanted to help us!”

Ryan got off from Min, pulling him up so he could dust off his now dirty pants, “How would I know? Every tree looks the same, so how come this one is any different?”

Ryan tutted, throwing the sticks to the ground, “It’s not that easy Min, you just gotta know!”

The explanation must have made sense to Ryan, he looked pretty confident, but Min was still confused. There really was no difference, to Min, they all looked the same, he didn’t really care if they were good or not, as long as he had fun, it didn’t matter. He was a kid after all, he didn’t have to worry about it

“Oookay…? How can I tell though…?”

Ryan sighed, but didn’t look disappointed at his friend, only grabbing his shoulder lightly, “Don’t worry Min, I’ll tell you if they're good or evil, and I’ll stop you if you do something reckless.”

Min only chuckled, “Yeah, like I’m the reckless one.”

They laughed, not a worry in sight. They were kids, it was silly, but it was easy for them to understand. As long as they were together, nothing could go wrong.

~~

Darkness consumed Min, as far as the eye could see. It felt welcoming, like he was seeing a long lost friend after years of being apart. It was comforting, it made every bad thing in his life disappear, like it never even existed in the first place. He wishes he could stay in it forever...but, someone called him. He didn’t know who, he didn’t recognize the voice. All he knew was that he should follow it, maybe it would lead to-

Min’s eyes shot wide open, clutching his chest like he just had a heart attack. Sweat dripped down his brow, trying his absolute hardest to catch his breath. It did nothing though, making his heart beat faster in his ears. Where was he? Why did he feel so awful? Why did he have that memory as a dream right now? The room he was in was open spaced, but dreadfully dark too. It was eerie, not at all helping Min with his panicked state.

“Ryan...You okay…?” Min turned to look behind him...but no one was there. There wasn’t a soul in sight around Min. It was just him, and only him.

He rose to his feet in a panic, swirling around to find his best friend. He had to be here, he was just hiding! Any minute now he would pop out, and Prism would be in on it too. Last time Min remembered, they were in Ryan’s pocket ‘Yeah, They’ll come out, this is just some joke they’re pulling, that’s all!’

“C-come out Ryan...this isn’t funny anymore!” Min called out...but to no response.

Where was he? He was here...right? But the more Min looked, the more he felt tears prickle at his eyes. And then, a sudden flashing light illuminated the room, making every puzzle piece fall into place, forming a horrible truth Min had subconsciously blocked from his mind.

Hanging on the ceiling in neat rows were masked machines, their tentacles dangling from their masks. It was something out of a horror movie, like the main character walked into the old dude’s closet and found a bunch of marionettes. Except these things could probably kill Min in an instant.

That’s right. Min was kidnapped by a masked machine...With Ryan being left behind, same with Prism.

It was hilarious. No, really. Min felt his body go completely numb, tracing the left part of his face where the triangles were. Ryan was still there, feeling like his skin was being torn from his body and exposing his bones and muscles, no doubt dead from the amount of pain that was inflicted. And at that thought, Min laughed. It started as a low chuckle, clawing at his arms as the intensity of his laughter got louder.

Ryan was dead. He was dead and the kicker was that Min promised to never leave him. But here he was now, laughing like a maniac at the fact that the love of his life was gone. What could he do? There was nothing to do. So he laughed. He laughed and laughed and felt tears stream down his face. This was all he could do, he had nothing to do now. It was...pointless.

Another bright light flashed, revealing the end of the room, sparks flying in different directions as it lit up the space. Min wasn’t alone. It sent a pang more painful than anything in his heart. This could mean…

Min ran to the end, stumbling on his feet as if the person would leave at any moment. As he got closer, his heart pumped faster, feeling like his muscles were completely on fire. He called out, “RYA-!”

The person at the end of the room startled, looking behind to see Min running towards her. Min stopped dead in his tracks, his face dropping from his previous excitement. It wasn’t Ryan. It was a woman, she looked like she was in her mid to late twenties, and to the left of her...was Min’s car. He had completely forgotten about it, when you’re being chased for the better part of 6 to 7 months (it was an estimate), you’re bound to forget some important details.

The woman looked at Min in surprise, before his shoulders slumped down, looking tired from the sudden intrusion, “Oh, it’s just you...you’re finally awake.” She spoke in a British accent.

Min started backing up, now realizing what he just did. He called for Ryan, in hopes that by some miracle, he’d still be alive. How absolutely stupid was he? There was no mistaking the truth, and there was no changing it either. No matter how much Min wanted it to be a lie, it wouldn’t affect reality. The universe would just move on without him.

But Min would never. It was impossible.

The woman spoke over Min’s corrupted thoughts, walking up to him regardless of how he felt, “I thought you’d stay asleep forever, I was beginning to think I’d have to do my experiment while you were unconscious-”

Min slapped the woman’s hand away, his lip snarling fearfully, “Who the fuck are you!? And where the fuck are we!?”

The woman pulled back, not surprised, but a little annoyed at Min’s sudden outburst. She pulled out a strange looking device, typing something onto it before putting it back into her pocket, “I suppose introductions are necessary. My name is Amelia, And you are Min-gi Park, I presume?”

What the hell was this lady’s deal? How could she possibly know Min’s name, he didn’t even say it, “How do-”

“I was able to look it up in the train’s passenger list, it’s not that hard to find when you remember someone from before.” She approached again, this time being able to take Min’s wrist to check his number, “hm...odd, it went up from the last time I checked...it’s even higher than the starting number…”

His palm read as 309. She was right, it was practically twice as high as his starting number. He pulled back, putting his hand against his arm, “Seriously, who are you!? What the fuck is happening!?”

Amelia just sighed, “Right...you’re clueless to everything that’s been happening. I suppose an explanation is the least I could do...I’ll have to make it quick though.”

She went back to where the sparks flew before, pulling up a strange device Min’s never seen before. Was she just full of these weird gadgets? She plugged in a few wires, and a monitor on the device glowed blue. If the train wasn’t already weird enough, this would be something straight out of a movie.

“I would have assumed that cat told you everything, but apparently she really wasn’t lying when she said she wasn’t finished…” Amelia typed a few things into the device, paying no mind to the confused man in front of her, “...And I would have liked to experiment when you first arrived on the train...but that pod shipped out before I could get a closer look…” Then she put it back down on the table behind her, looking Min dead in the eyes now, “Alright. Do you at least know my role on the train?”

When she brought up the cat, Min could feel the cogs in his brain turning. The last time he saw that cat was in the Music box car, she was trying to explain that things changed on the train, that there was some sort of new conductor…

A lightbulb flashed in his mind, “You’re...the new conductor…?”

“Ah, so that head of yours is really working, good to know.” She didn’t smile though, keeping a neutral expression on her face.

Meanwhile, Min was still as lost as ever. He didn’t even know there was a conductor to the train before the cat mentioned it, and now it was being brought up again. There was something happening behind the scenes, and now Min had the chance to figure out what was going on.

Although, it was hard to focus on a separate plotline when his just ended horrifically, “What does any of that have to do with me? I don’t see how I’m special in all of this.”

“I was getting to that…” She pinched the bridge of her nose, before starting again, “Alright, I’ll start with the first time you and your partner were here.

It was two years ago, you probably could have guessed. I was working with the last conductor of the train. We had been working together for...different reasons. That’s when you two came onto the train. I thought it was ridiculous how two passengers could be on the train because of each other. It seemed like destiny,” Min blushed at that, “but One...I mean, the previous conductor said it was just a statistical probability, how anything is possible on the train, given enough time…”

She looked to Min’s car behind her, her expressionless face cracking a bit, “...I didn’t get the idea to bring him back until you showed up…”

She was pained. Something dull struck at her heart, causing her to look back at Min, as if looking at his car would make the wound worse, somehow. This didn’t go unnoticed by Min at all, “Him…? Who’s ‘him’?”

“Again, I was getting to that...I had the idea to bring my fiancé back to life. He died in a car accident a few years ago. I was...a wreck, as you could imagine. A life without him...it’s painful beyond words can describe…” her expression soured, getting more emotional by the second. It seems she would never be able to move on, like she would always be stuck in the past.

But she continued, regardless of the pain, “But...then the previous conductor said that anything could be possible. If that really is the case, then with the right equipment, I could bring him back! That is where you come in to help me.”

She stepped back, holding the machine with the blue monitor in her hands, showing a diagram of what looked like him and Ryan, “You and your partner got the same number a second time, which made me think, I could replicate a denizen as a human if I gave it the same number as me. All I need is for you to tell me what the underlying problem is with him and I’ll be able to see if that works for me and Alrick-!”

Min slapped the device out of Amelia’s hand, watching as it clanked to the ground. Red fire burned in his eyes, an anger he’s never felt before in his body burning brighter than any sun in the universe. She had the audacity to ask for his help? Did she not know what had just broken him on the inside? “You...You have no clue what just happened to me, have you? You really think you can just ask me to help you bring your dead lover back to life? Really, what the fuck is wrong with you!?”

It all came flooding back. The feelings he had, the way Ryan made him smile, his impulsiveness, his courage. It was all gone. He could never see him smile again, he could never see his eyes flash brightly whenever he was excited...he would never be able to tell him how much he loved him.

“L-listen, I was just-” Amelia tried to explain, but Min cut her off.

“No, I just lost my best fucking friend and you expect me to help you!? What about me!? What about bringing my love back to life!?” He screamed, his cheeks wet with tears, “I was ripped away from him by that...that…”

He looked back to all the masked machines, his eyes holding no emotion whatsoever. He looked back to Amelia, “You...do you control these things?”

Amelia’s calm, composed state was long gone, a mix of annoyance and fear spread on her face, “I...I use tones to control them...as long as I play the right ones they do what I ask of them.”

“So you told them to leave Ryan behind?”

Amelia watched as Min turned back, a dead, cold look in his eyes. He didn’t look furious anymore. He just looked empty, like he was never a person to begin with. He was still crying, but he didn’t know why anymore. All was lost, and it was her fault. She took Min instead of Ryan, leaving him to rot and die. And she asked for his help?

He clutched the strap to his rifle, each second that passed by his grip got a little tighter.

Amelia saw the action, and took a step back, “I-I thought I grabbed the both of you, but that car you were in must have messed up my signal, only grabbing-”

“Fucking save it.” Min walked forward, slowly, but his steps were powerful. There would be no satisfactory excuse to quell Min’s emotions. She left him. There was no other explanation. She left the love of his life there to die.

Slowly, Min brought the rifle from his back to his hands, looking at her without a single ounce of mercy in his soul, “I don’t care what you have to say. Nothing can bring back Ryan, or your lover.”

Amelia eventually bumped into the table behind her, still not giving into complete fear, “Then what will my death do? You said it yourself, nothing can bring him back.”

“I know damn well what I said,” Min took aim, his finger already on the trigger, the sound of his number changing filling the room, “But at least I’ll be able to avenge him.”

This was perfectly fine. To Min, this was punishing the guilty, serving justice and letting the world go on without a murderer in the world. Ryan needed to be avenged, it was logical, it all made sense. Min would be okay, he would be just fine, things would start getting better after this woman’s death. She was a threat.

He felt his finger start to pull down, bracing himself from the shockwave of the gun. It would shoot a bullet right through her skull.

“MIN! NO!”

An unknown blur tackled him to the floor, the bullet instead shooting to the ceiling of the room. The blur took the rifle out of Min’s hands, throwing it to the side of them. Then it took Min by the cheeks, and smashed its skull against his.

Through the aching pain of his skull throbbing, he could hear an almost too familiar voice, “What the fuck Min! You could’ve fucking killed her!”

The figure straddling his hips as he was pinned down. The blur started to form into someone, and it almost looked like…

“RYAN!?”

Low and behold, the man that Min had thought was dead was pinning his hands to the ground, Prism slithering out of his pocket to happily lick Min’s cheek. They were alive! They actually survived somehow and were here! The touch, the voice, the sight, he really was alive! If Min wasn’t restrained by him, he’d genuinely try to kiss him. His heart was soring, a smile wider than any smile he’s ever made dawning on his face. He felt the broken pieces of his heart starting to form anew. It really was him, no doubt about it…

“Ryan...holy shit you’re alive-!”

Ryan cut him off, his voice the angriest Min’s ever heard, “Of course I’m alive! You can’t kill me that easily! Now were you seriously about to kill her!?”

Min’s smile started falling, his heart beating faster than before, “She...She just left you there! I couldn’t-!”

“Oh come on Min! Whatever the fuck she did wouldn’t justify killing her! You’d be no better than her if you went through with it!”

Min’s smile was completely gone. He took it all in now. He looked to Amelia, now seeing she looked terrified, clutching her chest to catch her breath. Next, he took a look at the rifle, the weapon that could take another human’s life in an instant, effectively ruining his. One minute, he could just be holding the gun, using it to threaten someone’s life, the next, he would have someone’s corpse lying on the ground. But he wasn’t just threatening her. He was going to do it. He was going to pull the trigger right in her face. If Ryan wasn’t there, if he didn’t stop him in time…

“For once Min...stop thinking with that stupid robot brain of yours and think with your heart!” Ryan shouted, bringing Min back to reality.

Ryan had big globs of tears streaming down his face, not looking angry, but completely and utterly hurt. He leaned his forehead to Min’s gently, soft hiccups heard from the back of his throat. As he leaned in too, Min could feel his heartbeat, beating at a slow and steady pace.

It was horrifying to think, but he almost stopped another human’s heart from beating.

Min trembled, feeling the dawning realization of his actions. He couldn't have that on his conscience, it would ruin him, it wouldn’t make him feel better at all if he did it. If he did, he’d just be stuck as a miserable person for the rest of his life. He would have...he could have…

As if it would help at all, Min wrapped his arms around Ryan, crying with him too. Broken sobs and quiet apologies streamed out of his mouth, trying his hardest to make his sins go away. But they never would, not after this.

Ryan wrapped his arms around Min too, shushing him as best as he could, “Min...you didn’t do it…she’s still here...I’m still here. I stopped you, it’s okay, you won’t do it again…” He took Min’s cheeks in his hands, now smiling fondly at him, “I promised I’d stop you if you did something reckless...didn’t I?”

Min didn’t smile, but wiped his tears with his now freed hands, “I’m just...so happy you’re alive...how did you even…?”

Prism slithered to Min’s chest, looking quite proud of themselves as they struck a pose. Ryan giggled, “Prism wasn’t affected by the triangles somehow, so they went to the river and found that Randell guy, water is their specialty after all. Anyway, Randell managed to help me out of there...and that’s how I came here so fast. God that guy can chug forward.”

“And...how did you know I was here…?” Min softly petted Prism, silently thanking them for saving his friend.

“That tentacle thing was on top of the car, I figured you’d be here.”

So that’s why Ryan was slightly damp...Min thought that was a bit weird once his mind had calmed down. But it didn’t matter now, Min just smiled contently again, the both of them looking fondly into each other’s eyes. Min could say like this forever, looking at every fiber in Ryan’s eyes, counting the sparkles like they were stars in the sky. He wanted to look at him like this for the rest of their lives-.

“What the blood hell!?” they heard from behind them. They had completely forgotten that Amelia was in the room, watching them with disgust, “You just tried to kill me, then all of a sudden your boyfriend shows up!? What is this, a fairytale!?”

Ryan looked back and forth between Amelia and at the way he was sitting on Min, still straddling his hips. A furious blush bloomed on his face, kicking himself off of Min, waving his hands in front of his face like it would get rid of his embarrassment, “W-what!? Min isn’t my boyfriend! What the fuck! W-we’re just best friends! R-really like! Why would you think that!?”

Min only blanched, remembering throughout his argument with Amelia that he had slipped up and called Ryan ‘his love’. Fuck, this could be a problem.

Amelia didn’t look pleased though, taking a small flute from her pocket and playing a small tune into it. A masked machine came to life, falling from the ceiling and awaiting her command, “I don't have any more patience to deal with you two. If you’re going to be this uncooperative and dangerous, then you’re as good as dead in my book.”

Well, she had no problem killing them at all.

“Crap! Ryan, get in the car!” Min pointed behind them, already getting to his feet and running to it as fast as he could. Luckly, the doors were unlocked, letting the two men get in as the masked machine hurled at them, banging on the roof to try and get in.

“Start the car, Start the car!” Ryan hurriedly said, slapping Min on the shoulder, Prism also hurriedly using their head to slap Min’s knee. Another stroke of luck, the keys were still in the ignition. But a problem arose, as he tried starting the car, he realized it needed a few more turns before it actually got going. Min never cursed hand me downs more than he did now.

With each turn of the keys, the masked machine banged even louder than before, it would probably leave a dent later on, but right now they needed to worry about getting out of there pronto. Scratches could now be heard from the sides, it was getting more desperate to catch the men and tear their insides apart. Just as they both heard metal piercing, the car started with a roar, Min stepping on the gas and turning to deeper in the car, the machine being left in the dust.

“Holy shit! Okay that lady was mean!” Ryan huffed, buckling his seat belt and taking Prism in his hands to hold.

“Yeah, so does that mean-”

“No, killing her would still be a bad idea! Even if she is a jerk!” Ryan snapped before Min could finish his sentence.

After it looked like they weren’t being chased, Min took the time to notice that Ryan had something in his other hand, clutching onto it tightly.

“Dude!? Why the fuck did you take the rifle again!? I thought we weren’t gonna kill people with it!”

“Yeah but! That doesn’t apply to murder machines like the one back there, right!?”

Min was honestly too tired to care at this point, “Fair enough…”

Their conversation was quickly over though when the wall at the end of the hall made itself known to the men, and they were speeding right for it. This felt awfully familiar…

“MIN! LOOK THE FUCK AHEAD OF YOU! JESUS CHRIST!” Ryan screeched, pointing to their direct problem.

That’s right, he was driving, and he wasn’t even paying attention at all. But once he looked, a flash of red caught his eye. As he realized the implications, he steered towards it, picking up the pace by stepping harder on the gas. Meanwhile, Ryan was screaming and waving his arms around, doing everything in his power to try and stop Min from killing them both at such a young age. He was too pretty to die, and Min had to agree with him on that. He was very pretty, but he wasn’t going to die, not on Min’s watch now.

“Calm down Ry! Just brace yourself!”

They crashed right through the door, it being shattered to pieces as they made it out. As soon as they were through, Min slammed on the breaks, narrowly stopping before they could fall off the edge of the train. That...actually worked. Min wasn’t expecting that would go so smoothly.

And right next to him, Ryan was as white as a ghost, staring off into the distance like he just saw his life flash before his eyes. It probably did.

“Y-you good man…?” Min asked, slowly putting a hand on his shoulder just in case it wouldn’t scare him even more.

“...I think I just saw my grandma dude...Jeez…”

Min could only laugh, making Ryan start to complain about how terrified he was. It comforted Min honestly, he was glad he could be scolded like this, it was better than living with guilt the rest of his life. He unconsciously cupped Ryan’s cheek once he was done talking, smiling so fondly it sent another red blush to Ryan’s face.

They just stayed like that for a minute or more, enjoying their company before Ryan’s eyes widened, pushing Min’s hand away, “uuuh...That british lady said some...weird stuff...right Min?” he chuckled, now looking obviously uncomfortable.

“Hm…? Yeah, I guess…”

“Like...boyfriend? Who does she think we are? That’s like, so fucked up, eh?” Ryan rubbed his knuckles, an awkward smile on his face, “S-she just...that was...haha...that’d be really...fucked.”

Min tried not to listen to the sound of his heart snapping in two, “T-totally...I-it’d be grody.”

Ryan rubbed his knuckles harder, the smile somehow getting even more awkward, “Yeah...creepy…”

They just sat in silence, looking outside to their windows. Min only just noticed that his number went significantly down last time he looked, changing to 55 again, but it went a little higher when he noticed it again, now it was 67. Great. He really did have to admit his feelings to get off of this fucking train. What could make this any better?

Although, when Min turned to look back at Ryan, he was staring at his number too...and something interesting happened. It was at 64 before, nothing really interesting yet…

Until, Ryan's number started going up too. It landed on 76. He clenched his fist, hiding it in hopes Min wouldn’t see it, he thought.

What could it mean? They just talked about being together...and Ryan’s number went up when he denied it, just like Min. It could be for a different reason, but still.

It didn’t stop Min from thinking that they both had the same problem.

He didn’t say anything, he just reclined his seat and tried to fall asleep. It was a long and exhausting day, they’d probably need energy to face the next day on this hell train. And as Min fell asleep, he thought about that number to a therapist he saw in a phone book. He’d need to call it, once they were off.

Chapter Text

No matter how many times Min woke up on the train, it would always be the same. An ache in his head, followed by darkness turning into light. It was like a hangover, but the alcohol the night before was replaced with constantly getting chased. Even waking up in his car didn’t help. Sure it was a familiar sight to look at, but the knowledge of still being on the train was what made him exhausted.

Although, waking up to facing your best friend while they slept in the seat next to yours wasn’t half bad.

Ryan was practically curled into himself, now clutching his guitar case instead of the rifle, which had been thrown to the back seat. He looked completely peaceful, like he had never been suffering a terrible fate in that weird triangle car. His eyelashes fluttered, scrunching up his nose before curling more into himself.

‘Cute…’

Min wanted so badly to touch Ryan’s cheek again, to feel the warmness radiating off of him and envelope himself in it. But that seemed to be off the table now, with how Ryan pulled away the last time. Honestly, Min should have seen that coming, it was a pretty affectionate gesture, it might even send the wrong message to Ryan, making him disgusted with how much Min wants him…

That brought up an unusual thought. Did Ryan know this whole time that Min was a creep for him? He had been acting odd around him for a while. Maybe it was because Min was acting weird too, he wasn’t exactly being careful whenever he’d steal touches at his hand or look at him for a second longer than necessary. Perhaps, even off the train Ryan knew, before Min knew what his feelings were.

Was...that why he brought over girls all the time to their hotel rooms? To silently tell him to fuck off and stop being a pervert? It seemed way too harsh, even Ryan wouldn’t do that. But still, the amount of women Ryan brought was a sign of something happening, it was too obvious not to notice. What could it mean though?

Then again, what was the meaning of their number change? It was sending too many mixed signals. They just finished denying ever being a couple at all, and Ryan’s number went up. It made Min’s world turn upside down, making him think for a fraction of a second that Ryan...had the same problem as Min. No, it was way too straightforward, there had to be a catch. Maybe...Ryan needs to be more aware of Min’s feelings? He needs to be nicer to him about the fact that his best friend was a queer. Or something like that.

Min didn’t get to finish his thoughts before Ryan stirred, groaning before rubbing his eyes open. The first thing he saw was Min looking right at him, immediately avoiding eye contact before things could get weirder.

“Hey sleeping beauty, enjoy your nap?”

That should have been the last thing Min said, since it made Ryan burst into a red strawberry blush, “U-uh, I-it was fine...asshole.” he turned to look out the window, holding his guitar case like a giant teddy bear. It shouldn’t have been so cute to Min, but being in love with him did things to his mind, he supposed.

Silence came upon them again, and it was probably the worst silence of them all. It was even worse than the silence before they got into that fight, which led to them getting on the train.

Min tried talking once more, “Uh...Look Ry, I’m really happy that you’re here and like...alive...I just...I want you to know I didn’t leave you back there on purpose, that machine took me and-”

“I know, I saw it take you away.”

Min was at a loss for words, but continued after a short moment, coughing into his hand, “...then...um…”

“It was scary...I honestly thought I would never see you again...but, you’re here...and stuff happened, and we’re okay...alright?”

Ryan didn’t turn back to see Min at all, keeping his gaze to the window of the car. There could be small sniffling heard from him though. Min knew Ryan was kind of a crybaby. He never cried in front of people though, making sure he did it in secret. And a lot of the time, Min was there with him. He was a silent crier, no doubt because he didn’t want anyone to know there was something wrong with him. The fact hurt Min, hopefully he’d get Ryan to full on sob like he does, one day.

Prism popped out of the compartment in front of Ryan, stretching out their tiny mouth to yawn from a good night’s rest. They hopped to Min’s lap, slithering up his body to his shoulder, making him giggle a bit.

Ryan turned to look back at the both of them, wearing a face Min never expected to see. He looked desperate, like whatever he’s been thinking of has been eating him up ever since they got on the train. It could relate to Min’s theory, but only time could tell…

“We should probably figure out a way to get the car to come with us…” Min pointed to the narrow looking bridge that definitely wouldn’t hold a car.

Ryan wiped away the last few tears off of his cheeks, looking to the bridge while wincing, “Uh, I don’t know if we can...plus we can’t exactly go back into...y’know.” He gestured to the door that had been shattered by the car earlier, going into where that British lady was.

So, it seemed that their task was trying to figure out a way to get their car to the next door. Easier said than done, to be honest.

They both got out, and right away noticed how dangerously close to the edge they were. One bad bump from the train and they would have been flying off and crushed to death underneath the wheels. It sent a shiver down both of their spines. They had enough near death experiences for multiple life times.

Ryan stuck out his hands and formed them into a frame, trying to assess their situation better with a concrete image...that’s what Min thought anyway, before Ryan put his hands to his hips and announced, “Yep, we’re fucked.”

“Wha-? What do you mean!? How can you know that we’re fucked just from looking at the bridge!?” Min shouted, trying to process the inane statement from his friend.

“Look Min, I’m a pretty optimistic guy, but I know my limits, and this? Seems kinda impossible, don’t you think?” Ryan waved his hand out to the bridge, surely to emphasize his remark.

“Honestly, I never would have guessed that you knew what limits were…”

After a pause, they both started laughing awkwardly. It was the same, harmless banter they’d always have, but it felt different now. With so much going on, things felt like they couldn’t go back to normal until they talked about...the last few cars.

It wouldn’t be an easy topic to broach, Min still knew how much Ryan hated talking about heavy subjects. Then again, Min didn’t want to stay a second longer on this train now that the looming threat of the masked machine hung above them. So getting their doors seemed to be the only safe option to avoid danger.

“Well, if we don’t wanna get our guts ripped out by that tentacle thing, we better figure out how to get the car on the other side fast.” Min shrugged, heading back into the car to drive it away from the death defying edge. He had parked it just in front of the bridge, so that when they figured out a way, they could just drive straight forward and crash ungracefully into the next door. They could just get out and open it once on the other side, but Min was a little spiteful to the train, wanting to take his revenge, somehow.

So, silence fell upon them once he got out, Ryan’s thinking face displayed in full force. It was kind of adorable how his tongue stuck out, this always happened when he needed to concentrate on something important. Min’s heart panged again. He knew he’d never get to kiss that face off of him, it was painful to know...life was so cruel to him, dangling happiness right in front of his nose.

After what felt like an eternity, Min spoke up, “Are we just gonna...not talk? It’d be kind of weird if we didn’t when we almost just died again-”

Ryan jolted at the sound of Min’s voice, now rubbing his knuckles in an uncomfortable fashion, “W-wha? Y-yeah we can talk! We can talk about anything honestly! Like, you think that dolphin king still has that weird ass voice??”

Something was up, now it was abundantly clear. Ryan was getting jittery, covering his hand with his mouth to muffle the words pouring from it. Min was in shock from how unnatural Ryan seemed. It seemed like a switch in his system got turned on, making him act so anxious.

Min approached him cautiously, their bodies only inches apart when he spoke again, “Ryan...I’m just happy you’re okay...and I’m...so sorry you had to see me like that before. I thought you were already gone at that point and I didn’t know what to do…”

Before Ryan replied, Min wrapped him in a tight hug, feeling so relieved to feel his body. He really was here...this wasn’t a dream at all. He ran his hands through Ryan’s soft hair, feeling each curl wrap around his fingers. Even though they haven’t had a lot of chances to wash their hair, his still felt soft to the touch. It calmed Min down significantly…

But, Ryan pulled away suddenly, that desperate look in his eye back once again, “U-um...thank you, Min. I was p-pretty scared too…”

That was the wrong move. Min seemed to be getting a lot of things wrong, when it came to his feelings. They weren’t mutual, Min had to hammer that into his brain. It was never gonna happen, end of story.

He pulled back, looking out onto the bridge. He could apologize, but a part of him still didn’t want to give into the awkwardness of the situation. He just stared on, his face contouring in desperation. This wouldn’t be fun to figure out…

Ryan stepped to the bridge, running his hand across the railing, “...I’m actually kinda curious...why did that lady bring you to her? She said...some funny things there…”

Min could feel a sinking pit in his stomach as he spoke, “Tch, that wasn’t even the half of it...she was pretty self absorbed in her…’experiment’.”

He walked out onto the bridge with Ryan, feeling the cold, rusty handrail prickle at his skin, holding it tight, “She...was trying to bring her fiancé back to life...and she thought me and you could help…”

“Why us? There’s nothing super special that we have…”

“She was going on about us getting the same number a second time, like somehow the number connection would make a difference in bringing him back.”

Ryan pondered, shaking the railing a bit before stopping when seeing how uncomfortable it made Min, “...Yeah, I mean...I guess that kinda makes sense. Still kinda confusing though…”

“I didn’t understand anything at that point to be honest. I just...saw red after that.” The pit in Min’s stomach grew larger when he saw Ryan tense.

Normally, if Min was sane, he wouldn’t go killing another person. It was immoral, of course something like that would go against his better judgement. But after thinking he lost the only person that actually understood him, someone who’s been with him through thick and thin, he honestly couldn’t see forgiving that woman. The thought still terrified him, the wound was still fresh, after all.

Ryan looked back at him, taking his hand off the rail, “...You think...you think you would’ve ended up like her though…? If you pulled the trigger, I mean.”

Min looked up, seeing the desperate look was back on Ryan’s face. It took him completely off guard, but it made the pit in Min’s stomach feel like a black hole now. “W-what do you mean…? Once I pulled it I would start figuring out a way to bring you back?”

Ryan tensed even more now, “...That’s what I mean...yeah.”

“...I couldn’t begin to tell you whether that would happen or not. I-it’s...it’s too horrifying to think about.” Min gripped tighter to the railing. He knew. He would’ve ended up like her. Now that Min could think properly, he sympathizes with her. A life without the person you love the most in the whole world would be too painful to bear. He couldn’t tell Ryan though, he’d hate him more than he probably already does.

Now it really felt like the air from outside of the train was suffocating him. It was a deadly toxin, poisoning his thoughts once again. Min was probably a murderous creep in Ryan’s eyes. How could he not be? He has weird thoughts about him, and he almost witnessed him blow a woman’s brains out. Why was he still by his side? Ryan should’ve left him so long ago, and yet, here he is, still standing in front of him.

If Min didn’t know any better, he’d call him an utter idiot.

“...Look, I’m just...I’m so sorry. I don’t even know how to apologize...you shouldn’t even be near me honestly. Don’t know when I’ll snap next...right?” Min looked up, a sad smile plastered on his face.

Ryan’s look of desperation fell, settling into a mix of hurt and anger, “Min, I’m not saying you should leave! I said I wouldn’t leave you and I mean it!”

“Even if I pulled the trigger!? Ryan are you out of your fucking mind!?” Min screamed, pushing his hands to his arms.

“Maybe! We’re in this whole thing together, even if you killed her I’d still be here!”

It was too much for Min. What was wrong with him? Right now was the perfect time to tell him how much he hated him. He had the opportunity to say what a homo Min is, and to boot, that he would’ve fucking killed someone for him. But this was crazy, Ryan was crazy.

“Why are you like this!? I don’t get you at all!”

It looked like Ryan was going to shout something back, but suddenly, the hand railings on each side of the bridge fell to the sides, startling the men out of their argument. At first, they both thought the train was about to shift again, running to the car for cover. But, Prism sat at the end, unamused with them as they argued. Min didn’t even notice they had left his shoulder.

The train didn’t shift, staying exactly in place. Prism pointed their tail to a button on the side of the bridge. Curiously, Min pressed it, and the hand railings shot to the sides again, making them jump out of their skins. It seems like the button is responsible for making the railings go up and down on command.

Min pressed it again, the railings going down in the same fashion as before.

“Uh...maybe if we drove over the rails...it’d give us enough space to make it across…” Min wondered out loud, taking a very frustrated Prism in his hands.

Without another word, they entered the car, Min getting in the driver's seat uncomfortably, gripping the seating wheel with extensive force. He turned the keys a few times, and the car roared to life. It was a straight shot, all he had to do was keep driving until they made it to the other side, and he couldn’t stop. If he did, the car would get stuck in between the handles of the railings.

“Hold on.” Was all Min said before punching it, the car immediately driving onto the rails, and Min didn’t stop. No matter Ryan’s protests to going so fast, it didn’t slow him down whatsoever.

At the end of it all, they crashed through the next door, pieces of shattered red flying all over the place.

It almost made Min laugh with how easy it was, after everything.

“I’m...never going to get used to this.” Ryan panted, his skin as white as a sheet.

“Me neither, but it’s the only way through that we know of. If you have any other ideas, please, tell me and save the future fear this installs in me.” Min gestured with his hand, but lost track of what he was going to say next when he noticed his number.

44? When did it change? He thought back to their argument. Nothing in there really indicated that he was showing his feelings...was it a glitch? But then he realized, when he hugged Ryan, he felt a soft feeling wash over him, sort of like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer.

So his number changing correlated to actually feeling in love too? It made sense, but at the same time he clenched his fist, praying to god it wouldn’t reach 0 when he did something particularly damning.

Ryan didn’t look any better, remembering something that made his face blanch even more. He pulled at the car door handle, looking over to Min pleadingly, “Hey man...open the door...come on.”

Confused, Min hesitantly obliged, slowly clicking the button that releases the lock on every door. Ryan stumbled out, slamming the door and walking deeper into the car. Min took a tired breath before stepping out too, taking the rifle just in case of an emergency, and looked around the car to see if anything in it was dangerous.

It was a mostly empty hall, the walls were made of a black, reflective surface. It wasn’t a long hall, Min could even see the next door from where he stood, it was just very wide, giving off the illusion that it was a long way down. It was probably as big as that main hall castle back in the Atlantis car.

One noticeable difference though was that there were big rings of fire and ice spinning at the sides of the hall. They were evenly spaced out, going in a pattern of fire, ice, fire, ice. Nothing unordinary for the train.

Ryan kept walking down the hall, beelining for the door in a hurry. Something about it made Min run for him, stopping just a few feet away from him when he spoke to him again, “Ryan? Ryan, wait for-”

“Min, I don’t know what to do.”

Ryan’s voice made Min pull back, the pit in his stomach enveloping his chest now. It came out of nowhere, it took a second, but Ryan must have been referring to whether he should stay by Min’s side or not. Well, Ryan said he wouldn’t, but Min didn’t know what he was thinking in his mind. It looks like their argument wasn’t over after all though, “You know what to do Ryan, you just can’t bear to say it, can you?”

Ryan’s eyes shot wide open while swinging back to face him. “H-how do you-”

“I’m not an idiot Ryan! You’ve been waiting from the very start to say it, haven’t you!?” Min shouted, feeling like his actual heart was going to rip in half.

Ryan backed away, the desperate look on his face back once more, “...L-look Min...things can still stay the same between us! Nothing will change, I swear I-!”

“No Ryan, literally everything is going to change, there’s no fucking way things will be normal between us ever again!”

Min wanted to cry so bad. So it was true, Ryan really did think he was a terrible monster. Ryan must want to say how much Min bothers him. It was coming, the part where he said he hated him, how the thought of having a queer as a best friend freaked him out. And it was funny, he still thought staying together would fix the problem. It wouldn’t, it made no logical sense. Shouldn’t you want to get away from the queer? He was so naïve…but Min was even more naïve, for thinking Ryan never knew about his crush at all.

“P-please Min! I-I just...I didn’t want you to know, I swear to god I’ll never do anything bad to you, honest! Just don’t leave-”

“Bad to me!? You should be worried about me, idiot! You’re trying to stay by my side, even though you know how much of a fucking creep I am!?”

Ryan’s arms grabbed at his pants, the light from the fire ring next to him lighting up the tears on his face, “N-no...you’re...you’re not the creep Min...I don’t think that at all…I’m-”

“Then why!? Why are you still here!? Why do you insist on staying by my side after I did the most awful thing in the world-!?”

Ryan stomped his foot forward, the tears flying off his face as he shouted with all the air in his lungs, “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!”

The sound of his voice carried throughout the whole hall, reverberating off the walls to announce Ryan’s heartbroken confession. And through it all, another sound could be heard. It came from Ryan’s hand, he lifted it up to see his number changing rapidly.

Min watched as Ryan’s skin became paler, if that was even possible, “No...no no no no no-! Please stop-! No no no please this has to stop-!”

No matter how much Ryan begged, his number kept going, until it unmistakably reached 0. A bright light of green flashed behind him, the portal to earth appearing behind him. It illumined his face more, showing he was completely terrified.

Slowly, he turned his back to see the portal, but closed his eyes suddenly, letting out a strangled sob before bolting around it, going through the next door to the outside of the train.

And as he ran away, the portal slowly closed in front of Min.

He just stood there, silently watching everything play out around him in slow motion. He couldn’t process it, there was literally no way to process it. If he were a robot, he’d short circuit and blow up in a million pieces. All the while, those three, simple words played out like an orchestra in his head. ‘I love you.’ It made his heart pump a thousand times faster than normal, his cheeks flushing into a rosy red.

That...was it? That’s all Ryan had to say? It was just a love confession. It wasn’t that big of a deal, right? Oh, but it was. Min’s legs shook, his breath becoming faster from his heart pumping into overdrive. Love. It really was a terrifying word. It made Min cry, but no sobs or sniffles came from it. The tears came without warning, just coming as they pleased. Min wanted to scream, whether in frustration or joy, he didn’t know.

All that he did know is that his feelings were mutual. The door appearing behind Ryan was all the proof he needed.

“He...what?” Min whispered, although no one heard him. Except for Prism, who was currently slapping his cheek with their head.

“Huh? What is it?”

Like he even needed to ask, Prism just overdramatically pointed their head to the door Ryan ran out of.

Right. It’d be kind of important to reassure Ryan that the feelings he had were reciprocated. His feet thawed out from whatever's been metaphorically keeping him in place, sprinting to the door without another moment of hesitation.

The words kept repeating, like a crowd cheering him on at a marathon, saying ‘I love you’ hundreds of times over. He couldn’t let Ryan slip from his fingers, after time and time again of feeling like he's let him down somehow, this time had to be the exception. Nothing would keep him from this opportunity, not his stupid ‘robot’ brain, not any of the train’s deadly traps, and definitely not his stamina as he ran.

Running is what he did best. But this time, he wouldn’t be running away.

He had to run for Ryan.

Chapter Text

Min-gi wasn’t a track star. He wasn’t even close. His parents always bugged him that he should maybe join the track team, since they always said he inherited his dad’s strong legs. But he never did, he never considered himself a jockey anyway. When Ryan asked him why he never joined, Min would say, “I don’t know, sports aren't my thing, plus I’m more of an artist, if you know what I mean.” Min would always see Ryan blush at that, but didn’t know what it meant. At the time, they just appreciated the moment and continued eating their lunch.

In the present day though, Min wished he had joined. It’d make chasing after Ryan a hell of a lot easier.

He ran like his life depended on it. Not like every other time he got chased on the train didn’t either, but this time was different. Ryan, everything they’d built together as friends, would come crashing down if Min didn’t go after him right now. Against all odds, against every god in the universe, they had the same problem. It boggled Min’s mind, he still didn’t know every detail, which left him with so many questions bouncing around in his head. Like, how was Ryan in love with him when he had all of those girls over? The answer was simple, but Min wanted to hear it from Ryan’s mouth.

For now, the fact that Ryan’s door appeared behind him when he confessed was more than enough proof of his love.

“Ryan!” Min called out, running across the bridge to the next car door, although Ryan was nowhere in sight, seemingly in the next car already.

Min opened up the door, praying he would be able to catch up to his partner before he got too far. It didn’t seem that was the case though, the car was a farmer’s market filled with fancily dressed mice. The whole market was packed to its limit, the mice fighting over different vegetables and lacey articles of clothing.

This scene felt more familiar than it should have. The crowd of others, the similar beating in his heart, the desperation in trying to get Ryan back to his side. This felt too much like the night they were swept up by the train. Minus the bar and human patrons accompanying it. Without another moment of hesitation, Min squeezed in between the mice, hearing complaints and ‘watch it’s as he maneuvered his way through. It was all the same, except this time Min didn’t stop to apologize. There were more pressing matters than to apologize to a mouse he’d never see again.

As Min weaved his way through the crowd, he thought about all the things he could say once he caught up to his friend. It was funny, he was chasing after him and he had no clue what to say at all. Should he say he loves him too? Should he apologize for every bad thing he’s done to him? Should he tell him how stupid he is for not saying ‘I love you’ sooner? It already made Min cringe, he just stood there as his friend confessed, not saying a single word and watched him run away, no doubt heartbroken while doing so. It was probably going to take more than an apology to fix this mess. It couldn’t be a repeat of the last time they were on the train 2 years ago.

Min called out again, hoping Ryan would respond through the crowd, “Ryan please! I wanna talk!”

A particular tuft of brown hair perked up in the crowd, now making its way deeper where Min couldn’t catch it.

It was almost a little too easy to spot Ryan, like childsplay. The problem now was trying to squeeze his way to actually get to him.

The crowd felt like it’s been getting tighter, purposefully trapping Min where he couldn’t get to Ryan. This is absolutely not where he was going to stop, there was no way he’d let Ryan get away this time. With the air still in his lungs, he screamed out, “Everyone move the fuck over! I need to get out of here!”

The mice that were squishing Min looked at him, a mix of confusion and shock on their faces. He knew it would be a long shot if they actually listened to him, so he took to plan B. Min shimmied his way under the crowd, crawling on all fours to get through. Min didn’t really think about how all of the patrons felt when he stepped on their shoes, cursing at whoever was ruining their designer heels. ‘Sorry, but your heels are way less important than what's going on right now.’ Min thought angrily.

It was a long way, but Min actually managed to make it to a parting in the crowd, standing on his feet just as he saw another human go through a red door at the end of the stretch. Bingo. “Ryan!” Min ran into a sprint, pulling the door open with an unnecessary amount of force.

Ryan, already at the other door, winced as he looked back to Min in horror. Min had already caught up a significant amount with him, but Ryan just went through the door, not giving Min even a small chance at catching him. Why was he even running? Well, Min would probably run too if his feelings were revealed to Ryan, in fear of what the other had to say about it.

That didn’t matter right now though, Min was the one that had to reassure Ryan, not the other way around.

In the next car, thick bramble bushes and vines blocked the path in front of him, but in the cracks of the vines, Min could see the door already, he just had to get through somehow without getting his clothes stuck in the thorns. Everything was pretty packed in though, he wouldn’t go unscathed in this car. Without another moment to waste, Min took the rifle from his back and started swinging it at the vines, taking them down before moving onto the next set of vines.

He was making pretty good progress, thinking he’d be on the other side in no time, until he saw something red move through the vines too.

Ryan was right there, pushing his way through with brute strength alone. The only thing that set them apart was the wall of vines, preventing Min from grabbing his friend by the arm.

That didn’t stop him from talking though, “Ryan, just wait for a second, I need to-”

“Please just leave me alone! Stop chasing after me!” Ryan whaled, pushing through one last time and stumbling out of the thick of the vines, scrambling through the door.

Min looked up to the door, seeing Ryan run as fast as his legs could carry him. Was he really making the right choice? Seeing Ryan run at full speed sliced Min’s heart in two. He really was trying to leave, all because of the love he had for Min. It made sense, after thinking your best friend hated you for being in love, it was the only option that was logical.

But right now, Min wasn’t thinking logically. It didn’t matter if this would help or destroy their relationship, Min was on a mission to confess too. That’s what made sense to him at the moment.

With renewed vigor, Min chopped down the last of the vines in his way, running to the outside once again.

This chase couldn’t keep going on forever, either one or the both of them would give in and try to catch their breath. Min wasn’t going to stop though, even if his lungs and legs were screaming for him to, he never would. He wasn’t going to let him go, there was no way on this train he was going to let Ryan go. No matter what crazy, insane train stuff would keep him apart, he would keep going.

For a second, Min thought about how cheesy that sounded, but it’s what he really did feel in his heart.

So, in front of another red door, he took a deep breath in, looking to Prism who was still on his shoulder the whole time, and braced himself for the craziest car he would face so far.

Except...what he was greeted with wasn’t fire breathing lions nor swashbuckling fish pirates...instead, he was greeted with what could only be described as heaven.

Bright, fluffy clouds were spread out, as far as the eye could see, and a blue sky coated everything in sight. The clouds were puffy, like cotton balls were clumped together, rays of the sun peaking through any cracks they could get through. All the while, small, multicolored stars fell slowly into the blue abyss, never to be seen again. There was only the sound of wind that filled the air, pushing the clouds along to their never ending journey across...the abyss, not earth in this case.

And, standing atop a cliff of clouds, Ryan had his back turned, looking out onto the peacefulness of it all. Min now knew he had nowhere left to run. So carefully, he stepped onto the clouds, wobbling a bit at how much buoyancy they had. But soon enough, he made his way to the immobile Ryan, thinking of any words to say at all once he reached him.

But Min didn’t have to think about that, when Ryan, without turning around, spoke calmly, “...You know...I’m...I’m sorry. All of this, the train, being back on it again...it’s all of my fault…”

Min stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide as he stared at his back, “...Ryan...this isn’t your fault…”

“How is it not…? Literally everything is! The problem, the fact that you’re here, our fight in the car that night...it’s all fucking connected!”

“Our...fight? You don’t mean…”

Ryan let out a watery sigh, crossing his arms in frustration, “Yeah. Do you remember when we first got on the train...you tried bringing up the fight a bunch of times…?”

Min in fact did remember. He constantly thought that the key to it would be a reason why they were here again. It seemed like he was right on the money.

“Of course...I thought it had something to do with our numbers...but you never wanted to talk about it.”

“...And do you also remember...the promise we made in the Armory car?”

“Yeah...you think you’re ready to talk about it now?”

Slowly, Ryan turned to face Min, his cheeks filled with red streaks from crying, “No...but you deserve to know...I’ve got nothing left to lose now…” then in a hushed tone, whispered, “I’ll be losing you after all of this anyway…”

Min wanted to run up to Ryan, to hug away every negative thought that was plaguing his mind in that moment. He looked like an angel, the sunlight shining onto his hair, creating a halo of pure light. Min felt like he didn’t deserve such an amazing person by his side, especially someone so naturally gorgeous. It was stunning, Min never thought he would wax poetry about such a rowdy person. But, he wouldn’t have it any other way, the unpredictability of Ryan Akagi was what made him even more gorgeous.

“...You asked me...why I was acting so weird that night. You asked why I had left you on stage…”

Min shook his head, coming back to reality, to listen to Ryan speak, “Y-yeah...You were being really weird…”

Ryan sighed, gathering his courage, and began explaining, “That night...I wasn’t thinking about it too much, but sometimes, I thought about having that apartment with you. It’d been in my mind for a week, and I was planning on asking you if you wanted that. I wanted it as soon as possible...because, well, you’re gonna think this is stupid…” he chuckled coldly, “I was getting nervous that you would leave me again…”

Min’s face fell into heartbreak, clutching at his heart, “But...why? Ryan...I was never thinking that-”

“Yeah, that’s why I said it was stupid!” Ryan backed up a bit, dangerously close to the edge, “I didn’t even know why myself...that is...until…” He gulped, “Until we played Castle of the Lonely…”

“Huh…? The song we played that night…?”

“It’s not just any song Min. I wrote that song about you…”

Now Min stepped back, a flutter in his heart soaring to unbelievable heights, “You...it was about me…?”

“Yeah. When we were in a bar, I think you remember I saw my ex in it. I was...so petty I guess...I thought about how better off I was with you...so I wrote how I felt...and it ended up pretty corny and romantic...I was kinda relieved you didn’t get what it meant at first…not like I understood what it meant, though…” Ryan raised his hands together, rubbing his knuckles painfully.

The explanation almost made Min facepalm. Of course, that’s why Ryan was excessively looking at him while he wrote it. It made a whole lot more sense with context now.

But, it made Min ask, “So then...what about that night…?”

“R-right...So, when we uh, started playing...I sort of like, realized something. The fact that I wanted to ask you to live with me, and we were playing the song I wrote about you...I just thought, ‘Wow, feels like some kind of shitty proposal…’ and then…”

Min filled in the rest of that sentence in his head, ‘I realized my feelings for you’. Ryan didn’t need to say it.

It was like punch after punch as Ryan was explaining himself. So many things were becoming clearer and clearer, a picture frame filled with dust being blown away with each word Ryan said. In the past, Min had claimed he knew so many things, that he could explain anything with only a few pieces of the puzzle in hand. But this? Min was clueless, and it was the world’s easiest puzzle. Well, maybe love wasn’t that easy to figure out, but it was all crystal clear now.

“...So, you’ve known ever since that night?”

“...Maybe. I might have known ever since middle school, actually.” Ryan smiled fondly for a few seconds, before going back to his deep frown.

Min looked to the sea of clouds, thinking of his next move. Was there anything else to ask? Yes there was, Min still had a million questions in his head, but rushing through them wouldn’t help...So then, he asked the most basic question he’s been wondering ever since one year ago, “And what about the women? You had so many over that I was beginning to think you had an addiction to them.” Min chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, if only a little.

Ryan didn’t smile though, “Oh yeah. Well, I couldn’t really explain it before, but uh, I think that one line in the song fits it pretty well…’Fill the hole with substitutes’.”

Min took a second, but gasped in realization, “You wanted-!”

“M-min please...don’t say it out loud…”

Min very much wanted to say it, that Ryan was just compensating for a romantic relationship with Min using other women, wanting to fill the hole that only Min could fill. It was sappy in the best way possible. His heart fluttered a bit higher.

Min was silent for just a bit too long, which made Ryan continue speaking, “And now...now you’re stuck here with me...none of this would have happened if I never-!” Ryan’s voice hitched, turning back around to face the cloudy paradise. “...My problem can’t be solved without us breaking apart.”

Of course, Min knew the truth to that statement. It’s the one and only truth that Min would always accept, and that he would always hold in his heart. Now, all he had to do was make Ryan realize that truth too.

Through the silent sobbing Min heard from Ryan that broke his heart, he carefully walked up the cliff, like he was approaching a hurt animal. If he didn’t play his cards right, everything that led up to this would all be for naught. Min didn’t know if things would play out the way he hoped, but he never knew until he tried.

Min was only a few feet away now, reaching out a hand before pulling back. He assumed Ryan didn’t want to be touched in such a state. So he spoke in a gentle, non threatening tone, “Ryan...what makes you think I hate you?”

Ryan tensed, startled by how close Min was to him, “W-well...I-I just...you were yelling...and…”

“I...didn’t mean to yell at you like that...I thought you hated me for...well...almost pulling the trigger...not about this.” Min shook his head, regretting having yelled at Ryan once again.

“I don’t hate you Min...I stopped you before you did anything...you didn’t actually do it…”

“Yeah...but it doesn’t make what I almost did any better.”

A drawn out silence replaced their conversion, the wind was the only thing that filled their ears. It was calm, like a wave of violins was playing in the background, making the theme of the car all come together. It serenaded the clouds that they stood upon. Heaven. They really were in heaven. A fitting place for Ryan, but not Min.

“...Min, you were hurt...you couldn’t think...right?”

“...Still Ryan...I want to make amends. I want to fix what I did...make things better...between us.”

Ryan didn’t move, but a twisted chuckle came from him anyway, “How…? How can things between us be fixed? You know how I feel...there’s no going back from that, Min. You can’t prove to me that things will be okay…”

Min stepped back again. It would be pretty difficult to prove he loved him back...going by words didn’t seem like the most foolproof thing, since they could be broken so easily. Ryan wouldn’t trust him, they’d live in a relationship where Ryan constantly thought Min was just dating him to make him feel better. No...Min needed something that would make Ryan 100% believe he was in love with him too. But how could you do something like that?

He thought about what made him realize so quickly that Ryan loved him, with no doubt in his mind. And it clicked. The plan in his mind formed, and it had to work. There was no way this could fail.

Min was now inches apart from Ryan, a mellow smile on his lips. Min was ready now. This would change everything.

“Ryan...look here.” Min stretched his hand out to Ryan’s face from behind his shoulder, displaying the number 44 in front of him. “This...numbers dictate our problems, and if solved, will drop to zero and open up a way home...pretty obvious, right?”

Ryan moved his head only a few centimeters, his eyes looking through his bangs to see Min, “what are…”

“So, if I were to say words that correlate to my problem, and it has to do with the solution, naturally, it would open the door.” Min continued, his eyes softening when looking into Ryan’s.

They looked deeply at each other, drowning in the colors of their eyes. Ryan’s may look black in the darkness, but when lit up, they were a brilliant dark brown. It was like Min was swimming in the sweetness of the chocolate colored eyes. He wanted to look at them forever, but the fluorescent light from his hand snapped him out of his fantasy.

Min moved back to looking at his hand, breathing in deeply, “Ryan, look.”

Ryan moved his head just in time for Min to announce, “I love you too.”

Min had closed his eyes, but he heard the sound of his number changing, and once it stopped, he heard Ryan gasp loudly. That was enough confirmation that Min needed. He opened them to see Ryan on the verge of tears, looking at the 0 on Min’s hand. From now on, things will never be the same. And that was a good thing.

“M-min…? What...how...what does this-!”

Min finally took Ryan in his arms, holding his waist from behind. The sensation felt like a euphoria Min has never felt in his life. The beating in his heart was rapid, but it didn’t feel bad this time. A chuckle bubbled up from him, a smile of pure happiness overtaking him and never fading away, “You told me to think with my heart...didn’t you?”

And then, once Ryan turned to face Min again, he smiled, sweet and gentle and absolutely beautiful. Min couldn’t get enough of it, he wanted to kiss it, he wanted to kiss that smile, he wanted to kiss Ryan. He whispered quietly, “You make me want to be a better person...you make everything feel so confusing...but feel so right…”

“Min...you’re being so dopey right now…”

“Dopey for you, darling.”

Ryan bursted into a big, boisterous laugh. He didn’t stop after 5 seconds, nor 10, not even 30. It was pure, joyful laughter for god knows how long, but it was music to Min’s ears. And through his melodious laugh, Ryan managed to say, “Sap! Y-you’re such a s-sap!”

“H-hey...I was trying to be all romantic, isn’t that how this stuff is supposed to go?” Min put on a fake offended voice, but it didn’t last long when he snorted at the end.

The wind picked up, but the men never shifted from their place, only giggling together at how silly they were both being. A moment like this couldn’t get any better, where they were both sharing a common knowledge that had been known for a few seconds, but still felt like it’s been there for their entire lives.

“B-but wait, how long have you-?”

Ryan tried to ask his question, but a sudden rush of wind interrupted them, washing clouds all over them. It felt like a little too much wind had blown their way, it wasn’t natural at all. But, as the clouds cleared around them, it revealed something Min had hoped he’d never see again. The masked machine climbed through the red door, no doubt it had chased them while they were distracted with themselves. And Min had noticed, right next to the door was his portal to earth.

Ryan shouted first, “What the fuck!? I thought you were done with us, lady!”

Min followed up, “Yeah, what gives! I’m not gonna try and kill you again!”

The machine drew closer, garbled audio came from it, “Sorry, but I’m afraid I cannot take that chance. You’re unstable, and I cannot allow you to run free on this train, for fear that we might meet again under even worse circumstances.”

Min blanched. She was absolutely serious, not a monic of falsehood in her voice. He just cursed the universe for what felt like the millionth time. Right in the middle of a world changing confession, and the machine decides to show up again? It was like the universe was giving him the middle finger.

But, before he died by strangulation of tentacles, Min didn’t have any time to react when Ryan pulled him by the arm, and threw him over the edge of the clouded cliff, jumping after Min to fall next to him. Prism was also thrown off of Min’s shoulder, but fortunately was falling close to the men.

“RYAN WHAT THE-!” Min screamed, the air rushing behind him as he fell, almost blowing his eardrums out. Ryan just laughed, catching Min in his arms as they continued to fall, spinning around a few times before Ryan pulled back to look at Min’s face.

“Min!” Ryan smiled the brightest Min has seen in his life, knocking all of the air out of him. In true fashion, it was breathtaking, how crazy but amazing Ryan really was, if Min wasn’t absolutely starstruck in that moment, he’d curse out his name. But, Min couldn’t find any part of him that hated Ryan whatsoever, everything was replaced with unfiltered love. And in the weirdest way possible, he realized that Ryan was the key to his door, the key to his heart.

In the most inelegant way possible, Min smashed their lips together, hitting teeth and bumping their noses, but he could care less. After a few seconds of feeling Ryan’s lips on his, Ryan returned the kiss, easing into it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Min wrapped his arms around Ryan, the kiss sparking something in his very core. It ran like pure fire, from his lips to his heart, it was everything and nothing he imagined it to be. It wasn’t slow or soft at all, and it certainly wasn’t his first kiss, but it felt like the first kiss he’s had with so much passion in it. He’s been waiting for what felt like his whole life for this fleeting moment, and he’d get a lot more of these moments once they were safe again.

They pulled apart, but the spark was still there, lighting a laugh from Min that was so giddy, he spun around in the air with Ryan still in arms, feeling dizzy with love and vertigo. They were in mortal danger, Min knew that with them falling to who knows where and the masked machine having jumped for them too. However, Min thought of a plan that was so dumb, it might miraculously work.

Min spun the both of them until they were both facing the machine currently falling for them, pulling the rifle from his back to point at it. He then pushed part of the rifle in Ryan’s arms, making him look up at Min with surprised hope.

“Together?” Min spoke, hoping Ryan could still hear him with the wind in their ears.

It seemed like he did, grabbing onto a part of the rifle with Min. They looked back to the machine, and took aim. “FIRE!” Ryan shouted, signaling for the both of them to pull the trigger at the same time. The bullet traveled upwards, actually hitting the machine in it’s fiery blue eye. A moment of pause passed, until the machine bursted into blue flames, exploding and making the men propel faster to a separate body of clouds.

They both braced themselves for a hard landing, but it didn’t come, the clouds catching them softly, making them bounce slightly into the air before they hit the clouds again. And as for Prism, they fell right on top of Min’s head, making him flinch back onto his back.

A few seconds passed, and they both turned into laughing messes on the clouds, getting out all of the giddiness they felt after that kiss and death defying fall. Min pulled the laughing Ryan into his arms and peppered kisses all over his face, making them both laugh even more. The adrenaline from falling didn’t help either, pumping blood faster into his heart, but slowed down once he got in a few more kisses to Ryan’s cheek and forehead. It was unbelievable. Min could actually kiss Ryan now that their feelings were out. It seemed like such a far away possibility not too long ago, but it seems the future had something so amazing in store.

Ryan, who was still giggling, pushed Min away, looking up at him with a shine in his eyes a million times brighter than the stars falling around them, “Min. Min, dude. How long have you known??”

Min stared back a bit aghast, but smiled anyway, “If I had to guess...you remember that swan boat car?”

“...no. way. Min-gi Park, you are the sappiest guy in the whole universe!” Ryan shouted with glee, going back to kissing Min on the mouth in his excitement. And of course, Min returned the favor.

“Hm...You know what, I think I’ve liked you since middle school too.” Min pulled away, pulling Ryan onto his lap as he sat up.

“R-really? I honestly never thought you’d be into me, you know, like I’m into you?” Ryan bashfully ran a hand through his hair, a red blush dawning on his face.

Min only shook his head, “Me neither, I thought you were gonna kick me out of the band if I told you about how I feel…”

“What!? Min I would never! Even if I didn’t like you back I wouldn’t leave you!”

“Yeah yeah, but you do like me back, so Chicken Choice Judy is still kickin’, I don’t have to worry about it now.”

Ryan sighed fondly, taking Min’s face in his hands, “You moron, this was never about the band…”

As they stole one more kiss from each other, their snaky friend popped their hand out of the clouds, making their way to the duet’s side. Ryan picked them up in his hands, and noticed the glowing number on one of his hands had gone down to 0 again.

“Huh...When did that happen?”

“Was it not like that before?”

Ryan put Prism on his shoulder to get a closer look at the number, “N-no...when I ran away it went up to 50, guess it was because I didn’t want to admit to the whole ‘being in love’ thing.”

“So then...where’s your door…?” Min asked, although the answer came quickly when he put the pieces together, “wait...it’s up there, isn’t it?”

“Probably...oh shit!” Ryan perked up, looking to where they fell, “Y-you didn’t happen to bring the car with you while you were chasing me...did you?”

“...Awww fuck! I didn’t think about that-!” Min covered his hands with his face, trying to wallow in his forgetful shame.

Ryan just laughed, standing up and pulling Min to his feet. However, Prism jumped down from Ryan’s shoulder, looking up at them with a mournful look in their eyes.

“Hm…? What is it, Prism?” Ryan knelt down to face their tiny friend.

Min looked down, knowing what kind of look was on their face, “Ryan...we got our exits...and they probably can’t come with us…”

“...What!? No no no!! No! I will not leave them behind!” Ryan started tearing up, reaching out to grab them, but they pulled back before he could do so.

Min looked away, a soreness in his throat rising up at the thought of leaving Prism on the train. He had actually grown quite fond of the snake. Before, he hated the thought of snakes, but now, it was hard to imagine their lives without Prism poking out from their shoulders and hissing happily.

Prism gave one last smile to the both of them, hissing with glee. They were presumably trying to say that they were happy to help them to some capacity. Ryan sobbed hard, but got back to his feet, turning to cry on Min’s shoulder, bumping the rifle that was still slung on his back.

Min took it in his hands, pulled it over his shoulder and looked at it with furrowed eyebrows. “...Guess I won’t be needing this anymore…” With that, he threw the weapon over the edge of the clouds, watching as it fell into the dark blue abyss where the stars were consumed. And as it fell, Min sighed with relief. He’d never have to think about the memories that came with it ever again.

“So...it’s time to go again?” Ryan looked at Min, their hands laced together, “How are we even gonna…?”

As Ryan spoke, slowly, a stairway made of clouds and stars formed to go up to the red door they came out of, and additionally, their exits.

“Huh, nevermind.” Ryan looked back to Prism, waving a sorrowful goodbye, and they waved back with their tail.

Min looked up the stairway, feeling the grip on Ryan’s hand becoming tighter. Min was just as scared as him. How could they go back out into the world in this kind of relationship? People like them weren’t accepted, and it’d probably be decades before they ever were. Still, there had to be hope, because without it, the future wouldn’t look so bright.

“Hey, Min?”

Min looked down, seeing a peaceful smile bloom on Ryan’s face.

“We’re fine. We’re like, really together now, aren’t we? As long as we have each other, things will be alright. So stop moping around, ‘kay?”

Min could only smile back, “Yeah, alright.”

“Cool! Now, I think it’s time for Chicken choice Judy to make their second comeback!” Ryan bounced up the stairs, forcefully pulling Min along.

“After we get the car?”

Ryan stopped in his tracks, “Right. After we get the car.”

They giggled, continuing their way up. It was funny, in the span of 7 months, Min would never have thought he’d confess his feelings to Ryan, let alone do it in an hour. Ryan still looked heavenly as ever too, warming whatever part of his heart was still cold and cynical. Min might think that thought was too romantic, but he liked it like that. He’d have to get used to being able to hold and kiss Ryan too, but that’s what makes the future look more exciting now. Ryan was going to stay, and so was Min. He could feel a new, unwavering bond form between them, wrapping them up in a twisted word called fate.

Things would be okay though. They didn’t know what to expect when going through their exits, but they would be fine, together.

~~

Min wiped the sweat off of his brow, shaking the nerves out of his hands. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this nervous in his entire life. The people could be heard already cheering, shouting their band name in 5, pronounced syllables. He clutched the mini synth in his hand even tighter, his mind going a bit numb from remembering how any people were out in the crowd.

1 thousand people had come out for Chicken Choice Judy alone.

Min felt like he was legitimately going to faint. It didn’t even feel like reality anymore. This felt like a horrible nightmare but an amazing dream too, all wrapped into one. Chicken Choice Judy started out as a silly little band by two 6 year old boys in the back of one of their dad’s backyard. Now, in their twenties, they were playing for hundreds of fans, rowdy for them to play on the stage already.

A hand on his shoulder shook him out of his rising anxiety, turning back to see his partner smiling at him reassuringly.

“Hey babe, I know it looks like a lot, but just imagine them in their underwear and things will be way smoother.”

However, Min could feel a slight shaking in Ryan’s hand. Of course his confident persona was just an act, but it made him feel a little better knowing he wasn’t the only one that was scared.

“Haha...easy for you to say. Bet you imagine me in my underwear all the time.” Min smirked, snorting at the blush creeping up on Ryan’s cheeks.

“I-I do not! I’m not a pervert like you, bitch!”

“Oh yeah? Then what about last ni-”

“And now, the main act, Chicken Choice Judy!”

The crowd roared to life, screaming the names of the duo to come out and perform their favorite songs from their album.

They both took one last look at each other, pressing secret kisses to their cheeks before running out on stage, feeling the concert hall shake with the cries of the crowd.

“Hey guys! Thank you to everyone who came out to see us today! This seriously feels like a dream come true!” Ryan took the microphone, screaming into it to get the crowd begging for more.

“Now, tonight’s actually super special guys, cause today’s the day I’ve known my man Min for 24 whole years! Crazy right!?”

The crowd cheered again, this time screaming Min’s name to unknowingly congratulate them on their birthday.

“So, I think for the occasion, I’m gonna play a song we’ve both put our hearts into, and even rewrote it a bunch of times too!”

Min tried to hold back the blush spreading rapidly. It had to be that song, there was no other one he could be talking about.

“This goes out to my man Min, love you so much, bro~”

Min covered his mouth, mouthing, ‘love you too’ before gliding his hands across his keyboard piano, starting the song he had come to love so much, while playing with the man he loved even more.

Up on a hill,
High in the sky,
I wait to fulfill,
A duty filled with pride.

I want what I never got,
Fill the hole with substitutes,
But it’s not enough,
The first time was a fluke.

My one and only,
Castle of the lonely!
Find me in my maze,
Where my heart waits!

Talking never felt like enough
So I wished in a dream,
That I were up to snuff,
That I could be redeemed.

There’s no way to tell
What the future will hold
But he accepted me
So we’ll watch it unfold

These are our castle barricades,
They’re always sweet and holy.
So now I know,
I can hold you closely,
In our Castle of the Lonely!