GF: College Years, Part 2

Dipper, Pacifica, Mabel and Wendy are now in their first week at the Northwest Science and Philosophy University. Things starts relatively smooth for them but now a threat from Dipper's past appears, putting him and an old friend in danger. With Stan and Ford away it is up to Dipper and his friends to deal with their enemies and find a way to survive.

Work Text:

Singularity Hollow is a small University town located in an even more wild and uninhabited part of the state than Gravity Falls. Local economy consists probably of 10% natural resources exploitation and 90% tending to the rich kid’s university located there. The place is a classic University Town with academic buildings spread all over the place. Tuition here is probably worth more than what a middle class family makes in a year and Dipper has never felt more like a fish out of water than now which is odd considering that he has gone to other worlds and traveled through time.

He is exercising now; cardio is extremely important to keeping him alive. He doesn’t train for long distance endurance although he is very good at it, no, being able to run a marathon is of no use when most of the things who might end up chasing him can outrun a car, no, the most effective way to run when facing the supernatural is to go for full speed in short bursts and hiding when proper cover is found and he trains accordingly. Of course he looks like a dork doing it, especially amidst ultra fit kids who just find their rhythm and effortlessly glide through the track wearing expensive and perfectly coordinated training clothes. For that reason he likes to train close to midnight, the darkness adding an additional level of challenge.

Today he is training at 6:00 pm because it is the first weekend of school and there is a big welcoming party and everybody on campus is going to be there. For a moment he considered not training today but he really needs to blow off some steam after what happened this morning in Astrophysics:

“I have graded your assignments,” Townsend says as he starts returning everybody their papers. When it is Dipper’s turn the professor tells him:

“Mason Pines, excellent start but then you got a little bit lost at the end, what with this “alternate dimensions” exerting gravity on our own and the gravitational distortions so produced making objects appear farther OR closer to us than they really are?”

“Not only making them appear farther away than they really are, but under ideal conditions making it possible to bring here objects located at a great distance through the space time curvature they...”

“I assume you have proof of all of these.” Townsend asks, interrupting Dipper.

“Mr. Townsend, if you are expecting a paper or something like that, well, I have none but the math checks up.”

“Only if we consider some very questionable assumptions to be true, and it is Doctor Townsend, address me properly..”

“According to string theory, if we…”

“Mason, please stick to the curriculum next time and leave these “star wars” theories for fanfiction pages or soon you are going to be confusing distance units with time units.”

Everybody starts laughing in the room, causing Dipper’s face to turn very red.

“Now, moving onto happier lands, here is your paper Miss Northwest, excellent as always.”

Stupid Townsend. Dipper thinks. The last thing he wants to do tonight is attending a stupid party but Pacifca herself has made him promise to go and telling no to Pacifica is even harder than telling no to Mabel and it is impossible telling no to Mabel.

He makes a last full speed sprint and arrives at his dormitory building, picks up a package from his mailbox and heads to his room. Initially he found it foolish putting him in a building full of other people when there would be times when complete discretion about his activities would be needed but now he sees why he is here: the building is almost empty; most kids have an apartment close to the town’s center where all the bars and parks are located. Downtown is not that far from his dorm, a little over a mile, but a curvy mile uphill and the road can get slippery in winter, not the best road to drive while a little intoxicated after a party so most kids choose to live downhill. Of course, there is a trail through the forest that leads to his building, but it gets muddy during the rainy season.

Dipper enters his room, starts rummaging through his closet drawers and feels utter hopelessness: his wardrobe is extremely limited and will remain so until he manages to earn some extra money.

“Hey guys, anything new?” He asks and his smart speaker answers.

“Everything is clear, no new bugs today. Do you have it?”

“Sure, I found one.” he says as he opens the box he is carrying and plugs a power brick to an electric outlet.

“Delicious 5V x 1.332 A power, the best there is.” The voice from the speaker shares.

Dipper showers with the confidence that there are no hidden cameras or microphones spying on him. The elec-trolls can make for truly nice friends… or horrible enemies, so he considers the money he spent on the power adapter a good investment even if it almost depleted his financial resources; he is in urgent need of a job or paid internship.since the money Sonia Fairway is giving him is absolutely not enough to survive amidst these trust funds kids. Wendy and Mabel are receiving way more money than him, but that is because Sonia believes he still has the money he brought from the other dimension, she even helped him set a bank account in such a way that questions would not be asked by the IRS or any other financial agency, but of course he doesn’t have that money anymore and he surely can’t tell anybody who really has it now. He kept an extra debit card for emergencies, but it is Alana’s money and he doesn’t want to touch it if he can help it.

He leaves the shower and starts shaving, and as he does he looks in the mirror and looks at the young man staring back at him.

“What’s up man, ready to stop being a teen?”

“Ready, but I still don’t know if I have ever been one.” He answers. Lately, he had been dreaming of some of the horrible things he lived while working with Uncle Ford, especially the Napa Valley ghosts and the Calabasas vampire. He and Mabel are about to turn 20, and even though biologically he is 6 months younger than what his birthday date says he feels that he stopped being a teen the day he staked that vampire. It is not that he feels there was another way to act, that creature definitely had to go for good but why it had to be him the one to plunge that sharp piece of wood inside that man’s chest? According to Ford, when vampires are killed all the years they have lived as an undead creature catch up with them and destroy their bodies, but the Calabasas vampire had not been an ancient beast, no, he probably aged ten years after being killed, at most, which had left Ford and him with a very human looking body to dispose of in the middle of a very wealthy neighborhood full of security cameras and security personnel. The next month he had spent shaking in horror whenever he saw a police officer nearby, dreading the moment one of them would approach him and tell him that he needed to go with them and answer some questions.

He dresses up and just finishes combing his hair when his smart speaker gives him the following news.

“Dipper, someone has been assigned to the room next to yours.”

“What?” He asks; this part of the building has been so far devoid of other occupants, something he was very happy for, so, why send someone else here and even more important, why make him his next door neighbor?

That instant the horn of an old Trius breaks the silence.

“DIPPPPPPPPPER, ARE YOU READY?” A girl shouts outside.

“Mason, Mabel, remember?” He hears Wendy say.

“You are right... MASON PINES; ARE YOU READY?”

Well, if there was someone who was wondering who this Dipper guy was now they surely know, Dipper thinks as he leaves his dorm.

“Brother, let’s go, the party ends at 11!” Mabel says outside, thankfully more silently.

Sure, the school sponsored party ends at eleven but he is sure the party is going to continue somewhere else but he is planning to be back in his room by 10.

As he leaves the building he walks close to the newsboard by the entrance and sees a newspaper clipping showing Pacifica and her dad officially declaring the Fall semester open. Dipper imagined that Pacifica would be popular but not that she would be like the unofficial queen of the college; everybody seems to know her and every guy seems to want to know her even more; she has sons of powerful politicians, big industry heirs and kids with multi million dollar trust funds constantly vying for her attention, and when the boys leave her alone her clique is there eating all her remaining free time.

At least we can talk during classes, he thinks, but talking about random stuff while attending a lecture is neither easy nor respectful and then again there is someone from her clique always by her side and they make no effort to disguise the contempt they feel for the “scholarship boy” and…

“DIPPER; HURRY UP!”

“I am coming, I am coming.” He answers.

Mabel is outside waiting for him behind the wheel of her old hybrid with Wendy as her co-pilot. Wendy and her sister always manage to bring a smile to Dipper’s face no matter what.

“Dipper, are you going to the party dressed like that?”

“Sure sis, what is wrong with my clothes?”

“The party said informal, but not that informal; look at us, this is the standard for a party.”

Dipper looks at Mabel and Wendy, wearing short skirts, heels and shiny blouses. They look ready to storm a fancy night club in any big city in the country while he looks like a teenager who just ran out of clean clothes to wear.

“Dipper, you can’t go looking like that, not if you want to be seen with us, tell me, do you still have that black button up shirt?”

“Yes.”

“And the jacket Ford gave you for your birthday?”

“Sure.”

“Then wear that for Waddle’s sake!”

Dipper returns to his room to change his clothes; the shirt is a little wrinkly but with the jacket on top it is barely noticeable.

“Nice jacket.” Wendy says when Dipper returns and Dipper blushes a little bit; compliments from pretty girls usually have that effect on him and girls hardly come prettier than Wendy.

“Thanks, it is made from Pteranodon wing.

“Actual pteranodon?”

“Yes, but not from the one living in Gravity Falls, no, uncle Ford had this jacket made in Argentina, they had a nasty infestation there last year.”

“It is so soft and slick to the touch.” Wendy says, sliding her hand down the jacket’s flaps.

“And warm in winter too.” Dipper says, blushing even more as he steps into the backseat.

Minutes later they arrive at the school’s hall in midtown and Mabel parks her car between two very expensive European cars.

“Watch the doors, if you ding one of those cars these kids will surely sue us.” Dipper tells the girls.

After an unusually hot day the night air starts to chill. They climb up some stairs and enter the big hall.

“Whoa, look at this! Rich people really now how to decorate for a party!” Mabel says, admiring with starry eyes the multicolored strands of balloons hanging from the ceiling, the dozens and dozens of flowerpots overflowing with colorful mixtures of flowers, the long tables full of fancy finger food and the people, well, money does help people look good. Mabel runs to meet some new friends while a guy calls Wendy’s name and she goes to greet him. With lots of people around with enough resources to spend a year or two traveling the world or “searching for themselves” there are lots of guys older than Wendy who are very interested in her.

“Hey Mason, what’s up?” A guy approaches Dipper and asks.

“Nothing, how are you doing Tom?”

Thomas Spencer is a guy he sees in Advanced Math, they barely ever speak so why is he so friendly now?”

“Just chilling out, so, who is the pretty lady that came with you?”

So that 's it.

“My friend Wendy.”

“Oh no, I know who Wendy Corduroy is, I mean the other, the brunette.”

“Mabel?”

“I don’t know man, is her name Mabel? The brunette with the silver glittering blouse, are you and her dating?”

“She is my sister.”

“Your sister? Really?”

“Yes.”

“Odd, since people usually see you two together we thought that you and her were an item.”

“That is disgusting! No, no, she is my twin sister, I don’t know how people can think that she and I are a couple, can’t you see the family resemblance?”

“Nope, she is always happy while you are always sulking.”

“We are not identical twins.”

“Mason, if she was your identical twin you’d be a girl and probably more popular.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing, nothing. So... your sister?”

“Yes.”

“You know I am a good guy, don’t you?.”

“No, I don’t know that but she is smart and I trust her fully, so if you want to talk to her as a friend it is ok for me, but I will be watching.”

Tom says OK and walks away. Dipper knows, objectively, that his sister is pretty and that her friendly character attracts people but he worries about the kind of people she attracts; there have been gnomes, a merman, a creepy fake psychic with bad temper and a deep inferiority complex in her long list of failed suitors and he fears what might come next. A normal guy like Tom would be a change for her, not that he wants Tom and his sister to match up, he doesn’t know the guy at all and he fears that a guy like Tom might be too normal for her but he does trust Mabel… or not. No, not with guys, so he better watch them closely.

“Pacifica, another drink?”

“No Cher, thanks, I still haven’t finished the last one.” Pacifica answers while she babysits her drink; even though she is not a puritan the way Cher “fixes” drinks is usually enough to make even a lumberjack drop unconscious after just a few sips and the last thing she needs now is a photo of her throwing up in the bushes outside the hall. She is a Northwest after all and has to always be perfect, so she can be a party girl but in elegant moderation, especially now that her dad, to her surprise, is finally considering her opinions worthy of listening to.

“Get me one!” Chloe asks and she is one girl who definitely doesn’t need one more drink so Pacifica signals Cher to not apply her special flavorings to Chloe’s drink but she obviously misunderstands her and adds double the dose.

“Here girl.” Cher says as Chloe takes the glass being given to her and chugs half its contents.

“Cher, Cher, Cher, you surely know what I like.” Chloe says before bursting into uncontrollable and unexplainable laughter.

“OK, I believe you have had enough drinks for the night.” Pacifica tells her.

“Why? We are barely beginning!”

“Yes, but the beverages here are supposed to be alcohol free, how are we going to explain your current condition if a professor asks us?”

“Just say I am a naturally happy girl.”

“Chloe, by the time we arrive at Tom’s house you are going to be beyond wasted if you keep drinking like this.”

“Please, some food and a glass of water and I am going to be like new, and by the way, have you seen Tom?”

Cher looks around a little bit, fixes her gaze on a place and frowns.

“Yes, I found Tom but it seems he has some company.”

“Really, where is he?”

“There by the W of the “welcome” banner.”

“Who is the girl with him? Is she new? She must be new if she is with Tom, otherwise she would know Tom already has an owner. Do you recognize the girl Pacifica?” Chloe asks.

Pacifica looks below the W and sighs; the girl is Mabel Pines.

“Yes, she is a friend.”

“Is she from Gravity Falls?”

“No, but I met her when she spent a summer there.”

“Surely visiting a relative, otherwise I can’t imagine why someone would go to that town.” Cher says.

“Yes, visiting an uncle.” Pacifica answers while thinking if she really needs such a passive-aggressive friendship as she has with these girls, her “best” friends. Sure, they are fun and Pacifica shares a lot of interests with them but she is never sure when they are just being bitchy or really mean things, or if they always mean things.

“What is her name?”

“Mabel Pines, you already know her brother, Cher, D.. Mason Pines.”

“Mason Pines? What a gall of that guy, trying to lecture professor Townsend in astrophysics, as if he could possibly know even a hundredth of what he knows.”

If only you knew. Pacifica wants to say but chooses to remain silent.

“And talking about Mason, there is him.” Cher informs the other girls while pointing at him.

“That guy? He is cute, and so is the guy he is talking to” Chloe says.

“Him? Please, he is a nerd.” Cher replies.

“The girls taking astrophysics lessons calling a guy nerd?”

“Girl, we are fabulously smart, not nerds. What about the other guy Pacifica, do you know him?” Cher asks.

“No, I have no idea who that guy is, maybe an old friend of Mason.”

“Friend? The way Mason is grabbing him by the coat’s lapel is not that friendly.”

Oh shit! Pacifica thinks. Dipper is a nice guy, so if he is being aggressive towards the other guy that might mean that he is probably a warlock or demon or something like that.

“Well, Mason has released the guy and they are walking towards that group of people and who is that red head dancing?”

“Is that Wendy Corduroy?” Chloe asks.

“No, she is right there, walking towards Mason.” Cher says “But I don’t recognize the other girl, Pacifica, do you know her? Another one of your Gravity Falls friends? Pacifica?”

Pacifica’s eyes are open as wide as dinner plates and her already pale face turns paler.

“Girls, wait for me here.” She says as she briskly walks to the other side of the hall thinking; “What is she doing here, how can she be here? Damn, I should have accepted the bodyguard dad offered me.”

“Are we waiting for her?” Chloe asks.

“No fucking way.” Cher says as she and Chloe follow Pacifica.

Dipper is watching Tom talk to Mabel when someone calls his name.

“Hey Mason!”

“Hey Mike, enjoying the party?” He responds. Mike is a guy from astrophysics and seems to be a nice person.

“No, and you?”

“Not at all either.”

“Well, I have some news that will help you enjoy it more, there is a pretty redhead asking for you.”

“Oh, that must be Wendy, she…”

“No, it is not Wendy Corduroy, another redhead.”

“Mmh, that is odd, I don’t know any other redhead, could it be, I don’t know her name, she is, Pacifica’s friend?”

“Chloe Rainier? No, this is a real redhead, and there is also a guy looking for you.”

“A guy, can you describe him?”

“Well, about your height and build, brown hair, raspy voice but very polite.”

“I don’t know someone like him.”

“Oh, and his eyes, a shade of brown so light they are almost amber.”

Oh shit, Dipper thinks.

“Where is that guy? Where did you last see him?”

“I saw him just a couple of minutes ago, and… hey, here he comes. Well, I am leaving, I am going to try and find someone to dance, see you Mason, good luck with the redhead.”

Dipper turns around and feels anger boil inside him mixed with a nice dose of fear; what the hell is this man doing here?

“Mason Pines, the man I was looking for! You are hard to track, even for someone like me.”

“Hunter, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Hey friend, relax, if looks could kill I would be dead and buried right now.I come as a friend, even if you don’t deserve it, so no need to get violent.”

“And how did you find me?”

“I am a hunter not just in name. I have been looking for you for half a year; I asked your parents about you and…”

“You went to my house? How you dared!” Dipper says as he grabs Hunter by the lapel of his coat.

“Relax, they are OK, I would never hurt your parents, I like them, your mom even baked me some cookies, she is a classy lady. They told me how you sank in the Pacific ocean, very, very sad news but about two weeks ago I bumped into them back in Piedmont and they told me the good news, you were alive! They told me a ridiculous story about fishermen and amnesia but I didn’t buy it, so, were you in rehab or something like that?”

“Rehab? No, I don’t do drugs.” Dipper tells him as he releases his grip on him.

“Maybe not drugs, but don’t try to fool me, there is no way a man can retain his sanity after what you lived with us.”

“Oh please! You believe you and your friends left me traumatized? You know nothing about my life.”

“Please, as if you had seen something like us before.”

“Something as lame? No, never, so how did you end up here?”

“Well, your parents told me you were spending the last weeks of vacation in Gravity Falls Oregon so I decided to go looking for you, but what they didn’t tell me was that asking for you in that town was dangerous! The second day I was there a bunch of evil men dressed in black surrounded me and asked me to go with them. I told them no way but turns out they were not really asking. Next thing I know I am being held in a sort of underground jail and undergoing a pretty thorough interrogation. Days later I am traveling in a windowless van with a cute redhead to this town while my parents call me to congratulate me for my full scholarship in a College I had never heard before, much less applied for a scholarship there.

“Wait, what did you tell them, your captors?”

“That’s the thing, I can’t remember what I told them, they kind of drugged me and I have no memories whatsoever of a couple of hours I spent with them.”

“Damn that Sonia, when I… wait, redhead? You were with a redhead?”

“Well, more like a strawberry blonde, very, very attractive but a little foul mouthed. You probably know her already because she kept repeating your name and telling us all the things she wanted to do to you and to a man named Ford, and they were not nice things”

“Can you describe that woman?”

“No need, there she is.” Hunter says pointing to a group of people cheering and dancing around a girl.

“No, no, no, no, NO! Mabel, MABEL!” Dipper says as he walks to her sister, dragging Hunter behind him.

“Yes bro?”

“Hello, you must be Mason’s sister; your brother never told me you were so pretty.” Hunter tells Mabel.

“Ahhh, hello, and you are?” Mabel asks.

“Doesn’t matter now.” Dipper says “Mabel, look for Wendy and take Pacifica out of here, something showed up.”

“Something?”

“Yes, well someone, just stay away from this place.” He says as he walks away still dragging Hunter by the collar of his coat.

“What is wrong with you brother?” Tom asks Mabel.

“Mabel? What are you looking at?”

“Oh shit, not good, not good, not good, WENDYY!”

Wendy turns to see Mabel and shrugs her shoulders asking what? Mabel points to Dipper and when Wendy sees in that direction almost drops her drink. Wendy quickly runs to Mabel and tells her:

“Intercept Pacifica, I’ll go with Dipper.”

“Intercept her? Where is she?”

“Walking to this place right now.” She says as she removes her heels and runs to where Dipper is.

“What is going on?” Tom asks.

“Sorry boy, this is a Gravity Falls issue, see you later.” Mabel says as she stands in front of Pacifica.

“Mabel, are you trying to stop me?” Pacfica asks.

“Stop you? No, I just want to ask you if there are no snipers protecting the governor's daughter, they would definitely be useful right now.”

“No, I am supposed to be safe here.”

“Are you feeling safe?”

“No, not quite, not right now, what is that woman doing here? Did Dipper bring her here? Because if he did I am so going to break his legs, I swear I am going to…”

“No, I don’t think my brother is responsible for this, he looked as surprised as you look now, let’s go help him.”

Pacifica looks up and see that Mason is already talking with Alana and she is scared, scared for Dipper and scared for herself too, and not only for her physical safety, no, if things get bad there are lots of kids with cameras around, if she gets involved in some sort of scandal it is going to hurt her dad’s reputation and also her reputation as the governor’s golden daughter. Public opinion loves her, she can’t jeopardize all the goodwill she has gained in the couple of weeks her father has had her by his side in all sorts of official events.

“You go to Dipper, I am going to make sure security is ready to act if needed.” Pacifica tells Mabel.

“Good idea!” Mabel says and runs to where Dipper and Alana are.

Pacifica grabs her phone and dials the number her father gave him for cases like this.

“Good night Trigger, we might need assistance soon, we need you at the great Hall as soon as possible, and bring back-up, lots of it.”

“Alana.” Dipper says.

“Oh, hello Mason, I was wondering when you were going to show up, you are hard to find, you know? I have been asking for you but it seems like nobody knows who you are, which is odd, I thought someone who has traveled to other worlds would be some sort of a celebrity.” She tells Dipper. Alana is surrounded by some guys who look at Dipper in a not overly friendly way.

“Alana, you need to leave.”

“Is this boy bothering you?” A big guy standing by her side asks Alana.

“No, no, in a way he is my oldest living friend, we were a thing for a little time but it didn’t work and we had a very nasty break up but that is old news now.”

“Alana, what are you doing here?” Dipper asks.

“What can a young woman be doing in a university? The same thing a young man like you is doing, I am studying.”

“Wait, studying, here?”

“Yes, it was not my plan but your friends can be very persuasive, can’t they Hunter? I see you found Dipper before I did.”

“Yes, you are looking good Alana, last time I saw you you didn’t look that happy.”

“Well, I lived a loooong time alone, then a week with an old man and I was finding some kind of peace when I was taken here against my will, but I have come to appreciate this university place; it is full of life and knowledge and I kind of like it here.”

“We need to talk.” Dipper tells her.

“Of course, let’s talk. I assume you mean somewhere more private, what do you say Hunter, can we talk with Mason now?”

“Sure we can.” Hunter says as he puts an arm on Dipper's back while Alana locks arms with him, and just then Dipper realizes that he is now trapped between two people who have tried to hurt him before.

“Need my help?” The big guy who was talking with Alana asks her.

“To deal with this boy? He is harmless, the one time he pulled a gun he dropped it.”

“Wait, he pulled a gun on you?” The guy asks and everybody close by who wasn’t paying attention to what was happening turns to see Dipper.

“Oh no, no, he was trying to kill some wild, almost extinct animals, not me.”

Now everybody is looking at Dipper as if killing wild animals was worse than threatening a woman. Alana and Hunter take Dipper outside.

“Hey guys, nice party, isn’t it?” Wendy asks as she walks next to Hunter.

“Crazy wild!” Mabel answers her, matching steps with Alana.

“Good night girls, have you missed me?” Alana asks them.

“Like PMS.” Wendy answers.

“What is pee-e-mess?” Alana asks.

“The pain women sometimes feel before they… well, before you know, what happens regularly to women.”

“Please Dipper, the pain before we bleed every month.” Wendy says.

“Oh, that! Girls, I have not suffered that ailment since I went to that otherworld island.”

“Alana, it is not an ailment, it is a natural biological process that…”

“Dipper, have you ever had premenstrual cramps?” Mabel asks him.

“Eh, no, of course not.”

“Then silence please, it is a fucking ailment.”

“OK.”

They leave the hall and walk through the parking lot until they reach a small park.

“Come on Mason, sit with me.” Alana tells Dipper while sitting on a park bench.

“I’d rather stay standing.” Dipper answers her.

“So you can better run if needed, isn’t it? Are you scared of little me?”

“Yes, you tried to replace my thoughts with those of Bill”

“And yet you brought me home, didn’t you?”

“I am starting to believe that was a mistake.”

“Relax, I mean you no harm; you might have brought me back to my world against my will but I like it here, I like the midnight lights and the loud music and just look at me!” Alana says as she stands up and spins around in her little red dress.

“It is amazing the amount of flesh a woman can show now without being labeled as a loose woman. Look Mason, check these legs!.”

“Don’t Dipper.” Wendy tells him.

“Alana, how did you end up in Singularity Hollow?” Dipper asks.

“Thanks to your Uncle Ford’s people.”

“My uncle Ford’s people?”

“Yes, those soldiers of his came to the Manor and took me here. I was really angry at first but then I was offered the chance to study, to know new people and was given money to live, can you imagine that?”

“Alana, the people that kidnapped you don’t work for my uncle, we are sort of their prisoners too.”

“Really? The woman Sonia told me that she was part of the same organization as your uncles.”

“She is the leader of that organization, we are in her clutches as much as you are.”

“But she is such a nice woman, she even gave me a socialist number or something like that and a little rectangular card that has all the money I found on the island.”

“Wait, she gave it to you, she?”

“Yes, she and not a so-called friend who had it, but well, you probably forgot about it, don’t you?”

“No, I gave the card to McGucket, he was supposed to give it to you when you were ready.”

“And when was I supposed to be ready?”

“When we were shure you were not going to buy an automatic rifle and turn me into a sieve, that is when.”

“Well, I have had my money for days now and you are still alive, aren’t you?”

“Yes but...wait, did you call me a friend?”

“Mason, these last weeks I have had the opportunity to think things thoroughly and I have come to the conclusion that maybe I overreacted when I tried to use your body as a vessel for Bill’s knowledge and tried to kill your blonde Northwest.”

“Overreaction, are you calling that just an overreaction?”

“Mason, you have to understand how I was feeling then, alone for a century and a half, abandoned by Bill, hopeless. I thought everyday about killing myself but I was scared I was going to end up in an alien afterlife for all eternity. When you arrived I was desperate, but you treated me kindly and offered me hope, just to learn days later that all I had waited so long to happen, the things for which I had sacrificed everything had been spoiled by your family and your Northwest. When I learned that I..I… broke apart, I... how do you call it now? I snapped, 150 years of anger and frustration exploded in an outburst of blinding fury, I had lost everything and tried to get back whatever little portion of my evil dreams remained through any means possible regardless of the consequences. I thought I had nothing more to live for, but you showed me kindness, you gave me a whole world to explore and I am not ungrateful so if you are willing to forgive me I am willing to call you a friend or if you fear me I will just stay out of your life forever.”

“Alana, that is great, I am happy for you; being friends would be great and…”

“Hold on, hold on! What the hell is happening here?” Wendy asks.

“Alana is willing to turn the page and try to be a good person.”

“And you buy it Dipper? Do you believe her?”

“Yes, if you were given the choice between getting your old, stale revenge or living a good, peaceful life what would you choose?”

“That is a hard question, Dipper.”

“Mabel, you love this “We are all friends now” moments, what do you think?”

“Ehhh, Dipper, you know I am all in for these former enemies being our friends thing, like with Gideon or Pacifica, but this time I don’t know, the things she tried to do to you...”

“...are no worse than what Gideon tried to do to us, and you have forgiven him.”

“Not quite forgiven him, more like given him a chance to prove himself, and remember that Gideon already risked Bill’s wrath to help us and did some jail time, while Alana has only gotten good things for her crimes so far and…”

Pacifica arrives running, interrupting Mabel.

“I finally found you! Trigger, here she is, arrest her!” She says, trying to catch her breath.

“Hey Trigger, how are you doing? Is everything alright?” Alana asks.

“Yes Miss McIntosh, nice night, isn’t it?”

“Yes, real nice, what do you think about my dress? It is new.”

“Very pretty, it goes with you.”

“What does this mean?” Pacifica asks, not believing what she is witnessing. “Agent Trigger, she is the woman who tried to kill me, and you, and your men; she is the one who almost got Powers killed, why don’t you arrest her and send her to Guantanamo or something like that?”

“Miss Corduroy-McIntosh has promised to behave from now on.”

“And just like that everything is OK?”

“Yes it is.” Trigger confirms. “How would you like me to address you, as Miss Corduroy or Mrs. McIntosh?” He asks Alana.

“Well, there is a Corduroy already here, and since I legally changed my name to McIntosh when I married then I should be called that, but Miss McIntosh, no Mrs, no, I do plan on finding a good man and settle down someday, Miss McIntosh is the right way to call me, after all, that is the name that is in all my official documents.”

“Understood Miss McIntosh.”

“But, but… Dipper, aren’t you going to do something?”

“What can I do Pacifica? It seems like your father’s friends have it all fixed to their liking.”

“Oh, please, don’t get my father involved in this, I am sure you are not very upset with Alana’s situation, aren’t you?”

“What? No, I am willing to give her a chance, she is willing to start anew, to study and become a good person.”

“Oh, Dipper, you are so… so…., ok, Miss Murder Witch, what can a 19th century woman be styduying here?” Pacifica asks Alana.

“I am going to be a Historian.”

“A Historian, really?”

“Yes, I will specialize in the early 19th century Pacific Northwest, I already know some nice places to dig for a future thesis.”

“But you know nothing about other topics!”

“Hey, in the ship where I found my money I also found a backpack from a High School kid, I know my algebra and my grammar, even some modern history; I know the soviets are the bad guys and communism and socialism the biggest threats to our country.”

“Oh girl, you desperately need an update.” Pacifica tells her

“Working on it, I have now one computer thing and even a smartphone; I am no longer calling it a mini-tv, Mason.”

“Good, it sounded funny.” Dipper replies.

“Dipper, you might be willing to give this woman another chance, but I am going to be watching her closely and if she does anything funny or that smells like magic in the slightest I am going to fall on her like a ton of bricks and I don’t care if that upsets dad or Trigger or Sonia or you in any way, is that clear?”

“Yes it is.” Dipper says while Wendy adds:

“Pacifica, I am with you, if this witch tries anything funny you and I are going to make sure she wishes to have never come back to our world.”

“Oh, my girls, I am so proud of you!” Alana tells them.

“Your girls, now we are your girls?” Pacifica asks.

“You have always been my girls, I just didn’t know it; I am not going to ask you for a hug, but know this, I already love you: Pacifica, you are blood of my blood and have already proven to be brave and resourceful, Wendy, you are brave, strong and ruthless when needed, you remind me of me when I was your age.”

“Don’t expect me to reciprocate those feelings.” Wendy says.

“Now aren’t we enjoying a party? I have left a handsome boy waiting enough time, see you later guys, I hope to see you soon again, especially you Mason.”

WIth those words Alana walks back to the party, and… has she always swayed her hips that way? She stops some instants, turns around and looks at Dipper, smiles and resumes her walk. Dipper is left speechless for a moment, he knows there is something missing but he can’t just think of it right now, he can only think of Alana, it is as if she is the same woman she was before knowing the fate of her father, he has to thank McGucket, whatever he did to… wait, McGucket, that is it!”

“Trigger, stop right there, what have you done to McGucket?”

Trigger, who was already walking away, stops and answers “Nothing, why do you think we have done something to him?”

“He would have immediately informed me of Alana’s abduction, and if he hasn’t it must be because you didn’t let him.”

“Mason, I assure you McGucket is unharmed and healthy, but it was time for him to join us, we let him be long enough.”

“Damn it, it is all my fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself boy, this was long overdue, Fiddleford and Stanford are the only people in the world who have managed to create a dimensional portal, they are a huge national asset… or an extremely dangerous liability, and we are just making sure than an asset is what they are.”

“He will never work for you.”

“Of course he’ll do, if not today tomorrow he will surely sign a lifelong contract with us, but don’t worry, he will still be allowed to run his company and keep making hundreds of millions of dollars a year.”

Dipper sighs as Mabel and Wendy berate Trigger for messing up poor McGucket; the Old man might appear calm and always well composed but in reality Ford fears he is just a minor setback from reverting to the old crazy hillbilly he was after using his mind erasing gun on himself too many times.

Trigger bids everybody goodnight and immediately makes himself scarce.

“Wow girls, you surely are something.” Hunter says.

“And... who exactly are you?” Wendy asks him.

“Mason, could you please introduce me to these lovely ladies?” Hunter asks.

“I’d rather not, but it seems like I don’t have a choice; Pacifica, Wendy, Mabel, please meet Hunter Fox.”

“Charmed.” Fox says.

“...one of the Berkeley werewolves.”

“That was my nickname, since I am a beast when…”

“No, he was an actual werewolf, pointy ears, fangs, hairy body and all.” Dipper interrupts Hunter.

“I assure you Mason jests, werewolves are not….”

“Hey, if my brother says you were a werewolf then you were a werewolf; Dipper, is he one of the werewolves you cured back in Oakland?”

“Yep,”

“Hold it, do you actually believe I was a werewolf?”

“Sure buddy, that is not the weirdest thing we have heard or seen.” Wendy answers him.

“Yes, werewolves are low on the Pines weirdness scale.” Mabel adds.

“Ha, I never expected this, so, you are OK with me being a werewolf?”

“Former werewolf according to Dipper, and if you were to choose a canid name why not Hunter Wolf instead of Hunter Fox?” Wendy asks him.

“Fox is my real last name, but you do agree how cooler it would have been if my last name had been wolf, don’t you?”

“So, what are you doing here?” Dipper asks him.

“As I told you, your friends kidnapped me when I went looking for you.”

“And why were you looking for me?”

“For two things, one to ask for your help.”

“Ha! My help, now?”

“Sure, and the second little thing, to save your life.”

“My life? From what?”

Hunter sighs, looks around and then whispers to the group:

“From the Alpha.”

“The Alpha? Weren’t you the alpha?” Dipper asks.

“Yes, but just from the local pack, now the big one is looking for us and he is not happy.”

“Wait, is there a bigger Alpha?”

“Sure, the one who rules all packs in the continent, from Alaska to northern Mexico.”

“So, some sort of super alpha.”

“Yes, and as I told you, he is kind of pissed off with both of us; with me for failing to protect my pack and with you for destroying said pack.”

“Hey, you were getting more and more aggressive every day, it was a matter of time before you seriously hurt someone.”

“That is what you say, I had my group perfectly under control.”

“Sure, tell that to Mrs. Summers’ poodle.”

“Hey, it looked like cotton candy, what did you want us to do?”

“Buy real cotton candy.”

“Please, wolves don’t eat that thing. Now, as I was telling you, the real life big bad wolf is coming for us, and he is not coming alone, he will surely come with some other werewolves to impart ultimate justice on us.”

“Ultimate?”

“Yes Mason, ultimate.”

“Ultimate as in?”

“As in ripping out your throat and eating your trachea, that ultimate.”

“OK, that is bad.”

“Dipper, again in deep shit, aren’t you?” Pacifica tells him, an expression of annoyance on her face.

“Not so much, I already know how to beat werewolves, and it is quite easy; I have this old french formula that Hunter here proves works wonderfully and it is not hard to make.”

“Yes, but… “ Pacifica starts saying when her friends Chloe and Cher arrive.

“So here you are, girl, are you coming? Good night guys, not to you Mason.”

“Not to me, why, what have I done?” Dipper asks Cher.

“People are saying you shot a white rhino, is that true?”

“A white rhino! Why would they say that? And before you ask, no, I have never shot a rhino or elephant or any other earthly animal.” Dipper says while thinking of all the otherworldly creatures he has actually shot, froze, zapped or incinerated.

“Then how did this rumor spread so fast?” Chloe asks.

“Still believe Alana is a good person, Dipper?” Wendy asks.

“Please, she just mentioned something about a gun, she didn’t say I was a rhino murderer; must have been the guy who was with her.”

“Sure.”

“Pacifica, it is time, are you coming with us?”

“Sure girls, guys the party is going to continue at Tom’s house, want to come? Just don’t embarrass me.”

Chloe and Cher look at Pacifica as if she is crazy.

“No, you go and have fun, I have had enough parties for the night.” Dipper says.

“Of course I will go, Tom made me promise I would.” Mabel says and a rictus of disgust flashes on Chloe’s face.

“Dipper, I will go make sure Mabel doesn’t get into trouble.” Wendy says and this time the rictus of disgust appears on Cher’s face. “Are you sure wolf-boy here won't be any trouble?”

“Actually, I would like to go to the party too.” Hunter speaks.

“Wait, we need to speak, you need to explain to me more about the alpha!”

“Tomorrow, Mason, tomorrow, I was kidnapped last week and would like to have some fun tonight, so, ladies, are any of you a good dancer?”

“Wait, what do you mean by kidnapped?” Chloe asks.

“Just that, I was taken here against my will because of dear Mason and…”

“So, killing rhinos and kidnapping people, Mason? What the fuck are you, like a supervillian or something?” Cher asks.

“No, no, I didn’t kidnap Hunter or shot an animal from this planet, ever!”

“Hey boy, let’s go, you can tell us more about the kidnapping thing.” Cher tells Hunter.

As everybody starts walking away Pacifica says to Dipper.

“Dipper, aren’t you coming?”

“No, I am not in the mood for parties, I need to find out what happened to McGucket.”

“You should be more concerned about what that old friend of yours tells my friends.”

“Please, like they will believe him he is a werewolf, and what is he going to tell them? How I beat him and his friends?”

“Dipper, if you are not there he can tell whatever he wants, even how he beat you even if it is not true.”

“Doesn’t matter, he needs my help, doesn’t he? He can’t expect to gain my good will by being an asshole, so see you later Pacifica and by the way, you look good tonight.”

“Dipper, haven’t you noticed? I always look good, but thanks for mentioning it, see you later.”

As everybody leaves, Dipper finally thinks.

“Damn, now I am going to have to walk all the way to my dorm.”

Alana finally gets rid of the stupid boy who is too stupid to understand that she doesn’t want anything with him and takes the chance to say goodnight to everybody and go to rest; she is still used to sleep at dusk and rise at dawn so being awake this late into the night doesn’t feel natural to her.

She walks to her apartment, which is really close by, marveling at this new world she is now living in; the lights, the sounds, the colorful buildings, everything is clean and bright, unlike the dull colors of her old village.

She presents a card to the door and the door opens, giving her access to the building. She gets to the second floor and opens a door. Her apartment has two rooms, a kitchen, a living room and two bathrooms, bathrooms! There can’t be a better invention than indoor bathrooms, not even electric lights or the television come close. She removes her heels, and now that is an unnecessary invention, why invent such inconvenient shoes? Resting atop her table are his papers and homework due next week; Sonia has appointed a team to help her with academic matters in exchange for her full cooperation on all things magic. She looks into the mirror and has to accept that she looks good; she is still a little skinny but her face looks as young as when she landed on that accursed island. Now she is back in the world, her real world and makes a mental inventory of what she has now, which is virtually nothing more than some money which she now knows is not really that much, a small group of people who know who and what she really is and the urgent need to figure out what she wants to do with her life. She thinks of the two family members she has met so far, hey, family, I have that too, she thinks. The redhead, Wendy, she really likes her, in some way she is what she would have loved to be when she was her age, resolute, intrepid, willing to take things into her hands if needed, not needing supernatural forces to get her will done, and her great, great granddaughter, that blonde Northwest is not bad either; there is no way she can’t hide her rich upbringing and snotty character but she is also self assured and courageous. Much to her disgust she has to admit she likes her and feels sorry for her, she has not forgotten or forgiven the role she had in banishing her father and sooner or later there will be a reckoning with her. About Mason, just thinking of him makes her blood boil with disgust; he is the same sort of stupid her father and husband were, so naive, so willing to believe that people was good when all evidence screamed otherwise, how can he trust her after all the things she did to him and his friends? And she has no reason to doubt that he is also going to end up trusting Hunter when the time comes, that is unless he has completely misread him and he is willing to give her a chance only because she is pretty and they slept together, but that would make him just another type of fool.

She has a family, and that is good, but then she thinks of the other thing she has; a promise from the woman that brought her to this town, a promise and an offer, and that thought brings a smile to her face.

“Please come in.”

Dipper enters Sonia’s office, ready to fight for McGucket’s freedom.

“So, I heard you are already trying to cause trouble, aren’t you young Pines?” Sonia asks.

“Yes, you can’t just go and kidnap people! You had no right to force Alana or Hunter to attend this school, and what did you do to McGucket? He is a good man, but he is not completely healthy, you can’t cause him any stress.”

“Mason, we can’t also leave a powerful witch and a werewolf loose, can’t we?”

“A witch with no source of power and a former werewolf? Sure you can!”

“Now we can not, and about your friend McGucket, we don’t have him, he paralized two of my agents and ran away shouting something about a racoon wife.”

“Oh no, he has regressed! You had no fucking right to…”

“Yes we had, that man is a danger to society and talking about rights, you have no right to try to change the estatus quo of modern physics: Townsend has informed me of your little attempt to bring existential physics to the general public, do you know that a foreign actor with moderate resources could use that knowledge to create all sorts of dangerous things?”

Please, as if everybody had access to an alien spaceship to plunder for resources, Dipper thinks but conveniently doesn’t tell out loud.

“But what you are teaching is obsolete.”

“It doesn’t matter, that is the current state of the knowledge, please, from now on stick to the academic plan. Anything else you want to tell us?”

“Yes, you shouldn’t have brought Alana here without first consulting me, she is a danger to me and my friends.”

“Mason, she is being closely monitored, she will not pose any danger to anybody, and before you ask, no, we are not keeping her against her will, her life is her own, we even provided her with funds to use as she pleases.”

“Yes, she told me, I guess I don’t need this anymore.” Dipper says as he takes a bank card from his wallet and puts it on the desk.

“Keep it, you earned that money.”

“But it is more than 400,000 dollars.”

“They are yours now, and don’t worry, we gave Alana a similar amount of money, feel free to use it as you will, now, is there anything else you want to tell me?”

“No, no, I am leaving.”

As Dipper leaves the office Townsend enters the office through a secret door.

“Sonia, did you just give that boy almost half a million dollars?”

“Yes I did.”

“You know there are plenty of faithful collaborators who would love a bonus like that, don’t you?

“Everybody would like to receive a sum like that.”

“Then, why give it to that boy?”

“Because we can track his expenses with that card. That boy knows how to build all kinds of wonderful machines, I am sure being able to watch his shopping cart would be advantageous for us, and even if it doesn't, tell me, how much would you have been willing to pay for the info he willfully gave you in his report?”

“Well, if you put it that way then it was cheap, and if we can keep receiving this knowledge for free, why encourage him to keep to the semester’s temary?”

“Because that knowledge is dangerous, and we have a way to get him to give us that knowledge anyway.”

“Do we?”

“Yes, we do, now, what can we do with the physics Mason has so kindly given us?”

“Not much without the kind of energy a dozen full size nuclear power plants can give us.”

“That or with the special stuff we have kept secret for decades and the rocks you brought here weeks ago.”

“Are you implying that it is finally time to…”

“Yes, make the arrangements please, have the item delivered to us as soon as possible.”

“I will do that, so…finally! I have been waiting for this moment for years.” Townsend says as he dials a number in Roswell, New Mexico.

“Hi guys, I am setting a little conference call with you and our other team in Nevada and trust me, you are going to love what I am going to say.”

As Dipper walks out of the building, he comes face to face with Cher Cascada, Pacifica’s friend.

“Oh, hello, how was the party last night?” He asks.

“Idiot.” she just says and walks away.

OK, that was unexpected; Dipper knows he is not the most popular man on campus but he is also not someone hated, and the look in Cher’s face, that was pure contempt mixed with hate.

As he walks to his room he sees Mike from astrophysics.

“Hey man, what’s up.” He greets him.

“Fuck off, Mason.”

“Hey, what did I do to you, man?”

“To me? Nothing, but what about those poor wolves you killed? You are a fucking cretin.”

“Wolves? I have never killed a wolf, fox, cat or dog in my life! Who told you I killed wolves?”

“So, you haven’t killed wolves before?”

“No, and neither rhinos in case you were going to ask. I don’t even own a firearm.”

“You are not lying, aren’t you?”

“Have you ever met a hunter before?”

“Yes.”

“And was any of them ever shy about talking about the things they have killed?”

“No, they actually loved to brag.”

“Well, I am not going to brag about killing an animal because I have never killed an animal native to Earth, at least none that wasn’t a bug.”

“Whatever man.” Mike says as he walks away, leaving Dipper uncertain about whether he believed in his innocence or not.

As he is about to enter his room the door next to him opens.

So, the new neighbor has arrived, Dipper thinks but his friendly greeting turns sour almost immediately.

“Hunter! You are the person, the…. my neighbor.”

“Seems like it, odd, isn't it?”

“Have you been spreading rumors about me killing wolves?”

“No, no, I just said that you managed to destroy a nice wolfpack, I never said you killed the wolves, people must have come to their own conclusions.”

“Damn it man! You have to say you were joking.”

“I wasn’t joking, it is true that you destroyed a wolfpack, my wolfpack.”

“And with that attitude you came to ask for my help?”

“I didn’t come looking for you because I wanted to but because I needed too: as much as it bothers me I have to admit you are the only person I know who can handle werewolves, heck, you are one of the few who even believes in werewolves, and as I told you, your life is also on the line here. By the way, I am very thirsty, let’s talk somewhere else, I need to drink something.”

“There is tap water in my apartment.”

“Tap water, really? Haven’t you tried the fresh squeezed all-natural organic juices served at the little stand by the great Oak? Come, I will let you buy me one.”

“Wait, let me?” Dipper asks but Hunter is already walking away. He has never had a juice there because they are freakishly expensive and he has no money to… wait, he has money now!

“OK, but I want the whole truth.”

“See what you have done?” Dipper tells Hunter as two girls sitting on a table look at Dipper and stand up.

“Heh, it seems I spoiled your reputation a little.”

“A little? I am a damaged good now, Hunter.”

As Dipper says that, a big truck with some questionable stickers on its rear bumper passes by and a big guy gives Dipper the thumbs up.

“Yeah Mason, that’s the way.” He says as he drives away.

“I hate you Hunter.”

“Feeling is mutual, now, let’s get to business.” He says as he takes a drink of his juice. “As I was telling you, the Top Alphas, the Alphas of alphas, the big, big, bad wolves themselves are very pissed with you and me.”

“Wait, now there is more than one alpha?”

“Like in any wolf pack, there is a male alpha and a female alpha.”

“And they are angry at us? How do you know that?”

“Someone told me.”

“Who? Is that person reliable?”

“It was Amy.”

“Amy, oh, no, did the alpha go looking for her too?”

“Dipper, the alpha turned her into a werewolf again, she and the rest of my pack are once again full fledged creatures of the moon.”

“And why didn’t he turn you too?”

“As I told you, I am a disappointment to him now, I let my pack be destroyed when it was my duty to protect it, and werewolves have only one way to deal with failure,or with threats to their kind.”

“So, what can we expect now?”

“A full fledged attack, the two big alphas plus some reinforcements; I expect my old pack to come with them, it is their duty to kill their fallen alpha, plus the usual big Alpha’s entourage, maybe two or three grizzled veterans, the best hunters on the continent, so, we can expect, at least, about a ten sets of fangs set against us.”

“And your friends, will they attack us?”

“If the Alpha’s sic them on us during a full moon they will not even recognize us.”

Dipper grabs his smartphone and looks for the coming moon phases.

“We have two weeks before the next full moon, hopefully, that will be time enough; come, we need to go shopping.”

“Shopping? Cool, what are we going to get, silver bullets?”

“No, something better.”

“Mason, what are we doing here?”

“I told you, buying needful stuff.”

Hunter looks at the counters full of lipstick, mascara and make-up.

“I don’t get it.”

“You will get it soon. Excuse me miss, do you happen to have Air de Montagne, Fleur des bêtes and Eau de pureté?”

“Yes, we happen to have those in stock, do you want a bottle of each?”

“No, we might want a little more than that.”

“Wait, are you telling me that you beat us with perfume? Are you fucking kidding me?” Hunter asks.

“Nope, my uncle Ford found this old anti werewolf formula in an old monastery in France, it called for a bunch of herbs and flowers in its composition, but I did a quick search with the help of… some friends and found out that those same herbs and flowers could be had mixing these three different brands of perfume, and best of all, so concentrated that they are effective by inhalation, you don’t even need the werewolf to drink it, they just need to take a deep breath of this thing and they are done.”

“Damn, you beat us that easy?”

“Easy? I had to spend 800 dollars in perfume to beat you, money I didn’t have, I had to sell my Monstermon cards to get that amount of money.”

“And now you have spent 8000 dollars in perfume, just like that.”

“Well, now I’ve got some money, I have just received a nice sum, not enough to make me rich but enough to buy 8000 dollars worth of perfume.”

“And that money is not enough to get you a car? These bottles are heavy!”

“That’s why I have asked for help.” Dipper answers and 4 minutes later Mabel appears driving her car.

“Want a ride?”

“We definitely need one.”

15 minutes later the three of them are inside Dipper’s dorm room.

“So, bro, you beat this guy with perfume? That is awesome!”

“Extremely shameful, I’d say.” Hunter tells her.

“Oh, please, I bet that was much better than a silver bullet, wasn’t it?”

“Well, if you put it that way. Now, Mason, what do we need to do?”

“Mix all the bottles, I bought them in the right amounts for a perfect mix, but please count them anyway: a proper mix is five bottles of Air de Montagne, three of Fleur des bêtes and one of Eau de pureté. I have this empty 20 liter water bottle, let’s use it.”

Soon they have a nice amount of anti-werewolf potion ready.

“Wow, it even smells nice.” Mabel says, “What are we supposed to do with it?”

“We should weaponize it, make some spray bombs, fill spray bottles and balloons with it, maybe buy a water gun and…”

“Mason, there might be another way, maybe we can set traps in their lair.” Hunter proposes.

“And you know where their lair is?”

“No, but I have an idea where they might decide to set it; a dozen werewolves need lots of space, access to the forest and a secluded location without prying eyes close by, we need to check abandoned places located within 60 miles from here and…”

“Wait, sixty miles?”

“Mason, a werewolf can cover that distance in a little bit over one hour.”

“Please, wolves are not that fast.”

“Mason, do you know what the ancient Greeks said about centaurs? They said that they had the strength of three beings; the strength of a man, the strength of a horse and the strength of a monster, and that applies to werewolves too, our strength, resistance and speed is way more than that of humans and wolves, so 60 miles from here is close enough for them.”

So they do a little search about abandoned places close to Singularity Hollow.

“OK, there are three places of interest, the old building of the Electron Company, formerly the Electron Step-on Textiles, Enterprise Registered In Cooperative, the abandoned Northwest Anvils and Anchors of the Northwest fabric and the old Church of the Mossy Hills. We need to get there and set some nicely smelling traps inside; it is going to take me the whole day to make them, we will go tomorrow and visit the church, it is the farthest from here, the other places we can go during the week.”

Hunter leaves Dipper’s room and walks away from the building. He makes a call and minutes later he meets Alana outside a cafe.

“So, you have it?”

“Yes I do.” He says as he gives her a small bottle of anti-werewolf potion.

“Are you sure this is it?”

“As much as you can trust Mason, so, what are we going to do with it?”

“That Fairway woman has promised to pay us good money for each of Mason’s inventions and discoveries, this will fetch a good price.”

“I am not sure I want people to know how easy it is to defeat werewolves, what if somehow I manage to become one again?”

“Hunter, the other method known for dealing with werewolves are silver weapons, I think this is much better than that.”

“I don’t know, you have no idea what it feels like to have strength and power and then lose them.”

“Believe me boy, I know, I definitely know.” Alana says as she opens the bottle of potion.

“Hey, this actually smells nice.” She says as she puts some drops of the liquid behind her ears and neck.

“So, see you later girl, I have some assignments to finish.” Hunter informs.

Alana watches Hunter leave and then proceeds to walk away and think of what to do next, maybe drink a cup of coffee or simply buy something to eat from a convenience store: there are so many things she wants to try! She is going to try the Pitt Cola thing today, As she leaves the store with a can of the beverage and six different bars of chocolate she finds herself face to face with Pacifica Northwest and one of her friends.

“Hello kid, want to spend some time with your old grandma?” Alana asks.

“Stay away from me!” Pacifica says as she drags Cher away and keeps walking.

“What is going on between that woman and you?” Cher asks.

“Nothing, I just can’t stand her.”

“Why, what has she done to you?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it.”

“Uh, it is something juicy then, come on, tell me, you know you can trust me.”

No, I can’t, I know you, girl, Pacifica thinks of saying, but instead she says:

“Old story, I don’t want to talk about it, maybe some other day.”

“OK, but she is a bitch isn’t she? I can try making her life impossible, can I?”

“Leave her alone.” Pacifica tells her, “The less you get involved with her the better.”

“Alright, but will it be bad if I ask her about her perfume? She smelled really nice.”

“I hate to admit it but she did, that reminds me that I need to buy some perfume myself.”

10 minutes later Pacifica is not feeling that happy.

“What do you mean you ran out of my perfume? You had like 10 bottles last time I visited you!” She tells the saleswoman behind the counter.

“Sorry, someone came and bought all our stock, but we will receive more next week, do you want us to save a bottle for you? The person who bought the bottles wants to buy the ones coming too.”

“Damn it! And who is this woman so interested in smelling good?”

“It is actually a man.”

“A man?”

“A young man, about your age.”

“And this young man has a name?”

“Sorry, I can’t divulge that info, and it was the first time I saw him, I wouldn’t remember his name.”

“So, you wouldn’t remember the name of the person who bought hundreds of dollars worth of perfume?”

“Actually thousands, he also bought all our stock of Fleur des bêtes.and Air du Montagne.”

“All the stock of Fleur des bêtes? Oh, now I am angry too! Who is this guy, come on, tell us.” Cher demands.

“I am sorry, it wouldn’t be ethical, but since you are such good clients I can tell you this: he has a weird mark on his forehead, like a spoon or something like that.”

“That doesn’t help a lot, Miss, and…”

“Cher, let’s go.”

“But Paz, we don’t know who this guy is yet!”

“And what if we find out who he is, what are we going to do? Demand he give all the perfume back?”

“No, a bottle would be enough.”

“Oh, I will get you a bottle, you will see.”

“I am going, I am going, damn it!” Dipper yells, putting on a robe, can’t a guy take a shower without interruptions?

“Hunter, I told you that the traps would be ready tomorrow, couldn’t you wait until…” He says as he opens the door, only to be shocked when he sees Pacifica standing there.

“Pacifica… oh, hi! I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I can see that, and please tie that robe tight, I don’t want to see any show.”

“Oh, sorry, sorry, as I told you, I was not expecting you… want to come in?”

“Sure, to the room of a half naked man, do you know what the media would do if they get notice of this? I will wait here while you get properly dressed, thank you.”

“Ok, suit yourself.” Dipper tells her as he goes back inside but leaves the door open. Pacifica is left outside alone and thinks that a little peek inside Dipper's place can’t hurt, can’t it? No, it can’t, so she steps inside and is immediately assaulted by a wonderful smell, a smell she was just recently exposed to and she feels anger boiling inside of her: That idiot Dipper, just one day, one day after that witch promised to behave and he already had her here, could Dipper have bought all bottles of perfume for Alana? And where did he get the money to do so?

“OK Paz, how can I… are you ok? You look upset.” Dipper asks, emerging from the bathroom fully clothed.

“Dipper Pines, regarding all the idiots I know, you are the worst.” Pacifica says as she leaves the room.

“Now, what the hell was that?” Dipper thinks as the front door slams.

“OK, are we all set?” Mabel asks.

“Sure, we have the traps, the surveillance mini-cameras Ford left and now I am just missing these babies.” Dipper tells her as he walks to a wall and grabs a pair of framed guns being displayed with the label: Masters of Sci-Fi.

“I don’t recognize those pistols from any movie, are they from one of the old black and white films?” Hunter asks.

“Nope.” Dipper answers as he puts the pistols inside two custom made pockets inside his Pteranodon jacket.

“Toy guns are not going to help us.” Hunter tells him.

“These will be useful, trust me. Now, Mabel, we are ready.”

“Ready? I wasn’t asking about the traps or guns, but about lunch, what are we going to eat during the trip?”

“You told me you were going to bring snacks.”

“Yes, snacks, but I am going to get hungry-hungry sometime during the day and…”

So they make sandwiches and leave 20 minutes after schedule.

“Mabel, is Wendy coming?”

“Nah, we went to a party that ended really late last night… or really early today, there are two ways of seeing it, so I didn’t have the heart to wake her up.”

“Mabel, we are already late and you didn’t sleep last night, how are you going to drive us?”

“Me drive you? Brother, today you are driving.”

“Wait, are you really going to let me drive your car?”

“Yes, so be careful, don’t make me regret it.”

“Oh, YEAH!” Dipper says as he takes the keys Mabel is giving him and jumps behind the wheel.

“Mason, why all the excitement about driving an old Trius?” Hunter asks.

“You will see.” Dipper tells him, thinking of the engine and powercell grunkle Ford and Soos installed in the vehicle, and as he thinks about that a wide smile lightens up his face.

“This is boring.” Dipper thinks as he approaches the site where the abandoned church is located: Mabel and Hunter are sleeping and have been almost since they left Singularity Hollow. The church is located midway Gravity Falls and the University Town and is located in an old abandoned town. The Old houses are in shambles, most of them don’t have a roof anymore and most of them are in danger of collapsing any moment, the only building that still looks strong is the church, and that because, for some reason, it is made of stone instead of wood.

“Look, the lock is broken.” Hunter says as he slowly pushes the door open. As they enter the building an intense, animalistic odor fills their nostrils.

“Could they be here already?” Mason asks.

“Shh.” Hunter indicates them as he pulls out his spray bottle full of anti werewolf fluid.

“Guys, I think I heard something.” Mabel tells them.

Even if it is close to noon and the windows are still in one piece the interior of the abandoned church is dark and gloomy and there are parts of the interior blanketed in almost complete darkness. Hunter is standing close to a column when a dark, large figure raises behind him, growling. Hunter turns around as meets several pairs of eyes fixed on him and the low growl the beast emits intensifies and becomes more menacing.

“Oh shit, Ayyyyeeeee!” Hunter screams as he sprays the large creature behind him with the perfume.

“MY EYES!” The beast screams and swats one of its huge paws at Hunter, barely missing him but hitting instead the back of an old bench, shredding it to splinters.

“Mason, DO SOMETHING!” Hunter screams as he starts to run away, followed by the beast.

“Wait, he is a friend, Multi-Bear, please stop!” Dipper tells the beast.

“Who are you, how do you know me? Speak or I will chew you eight times.” The creature tells them, and Dipper replies singing this:

“Disco girl, Coming through, That girl is you OOH OOOH, OOH OOOH.”

To this, the beast replies repeating the chorus of the song with a deep voice.

“Disco girl, Coming through, That girl is you OOH OOOH, OOH OOOH.” And soon Dipper and the creature are singing the whole song, joined by Mabel while Hunter looks at them, astonished.

“OK, what is this thing? Can you explain what is going on?” Hunter asks.

As the song ends the bear, bears? and Dipper laugh and they hug like old friends would do, while one of the bear’s heads licks Dipper’s face and another does the same with Mabel.

“Dipper, is it really you? And is this young lady your sister Mabel?” The bear asks.

“Yep, the very us.” Mabel answers.

“Wow, look at you, you have really grown, you are enormous.” The multi bear tells them, still towering more than a head above Dipper.

“I am glad to see you friend.” Dipper tells him.

“I am glad too, sorry I went a little crazy on you before, but I didn’t recognize you; you were quite smaller the last time we saw each other and you didn’t smell like a fancy lady; what are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same; this place is quite far from your usual haunts.”

The multi bear’s upper head growls in anger as he sits down.

“My old lair is no longer secure, there are people, weird people constantly searching for something in my mountain all the time. I was able to avoid them for some weeks, but then they brought hunting dogs and hiding from their noses was way harder than hiding from the feeble eyes of human beings. I was chased out of my home and have been on the run ever since.”

“Man, that sucks! Wait, if they were close to your place they must be close to the manotaurs lair too, they are also in danger.”

“Yes, I tried to warn them; ever since the big yellow being tried to conquer our woods the manotaurs and I have been on friendly terms, but while they found no shame in running and hiding from a giant magical monster they were not going to abandon their home over simple humans and decided to stay, what has become of them during the two weeks I have been on the run I don’t know. Tell me, Dipper, Mabel, would you know who those people are?”

“I am not sure, but I might have an idea; were they all dressed in black and wearing some weird goggles and/or masks?” Dipper asks.

“Yes, they wore some strange contraptions on their eyes, yes, do you know who they are?”

“Yes I do, and in a way we are also at their mercy.”

“But if you know them, can you talk to them and tell them to leave me alone?”

“Friend, if I as much confirm them that you exist they are never going to leave you alone, never.”

“I see…. and what are you doing here, are you running away from them too?”

“No, no, we are setting some traps in some places, places that werewolves might use as lairs.”

“Werewolves? Are those pests back here? GRRRRAAARGH!”

As the multibear roars he stands up and swings his mighty paws around, completely destroying another bench.

“So, that means you know the beasts.” Dipper asks.

“Yes, yes, some of them used to live around Gravity Falls for many years, that is until one of their young decided to get more involved in human affairs, drawing attention to all of us. We begged him to keep a low profile but he wanted to be the ruler not only of his fellow people but also of the forest folk and the human folk. Naturally, the humans fought back; driving away not only the wolves but also the rest of us magical beings. casting us away, forcing us to live in the wild, hiding and destitute.”

“That sucks.”

“I know, and if I might ask, how do you know about the werewolves coming here?”

“Well, long story made short, my friend Hunter here used to be a werewolf, I found a way to cure him of that affliction, the werewolf that created him is pissed off with him for being a total failure as a werewolf and with me for curing him, so they want to shred us to pieces. I have a way to cure werewolves, it involves a little concoction my uncle discovered and we are setting traps in all the places werewolves might use as a lair, and this church seems like a good place to start.”

“So, a werewolf?” The multi-bear says, while slowly approaching Hunter.

“Ex-werewolf, and I hated it, I swear, I swear!” Hunter says as the bears sniffs him.

“Is that so?” The Multi-Bear asks.

“I swear, I swear.”

The beast lets out a low growl and puffs some air.

“Well, if werewolves are coming I believe it is better to keep moving on, you never know with them, it was nice seeing you kids.” He says as Mabel is scratching one of his heads behind the ears while another one nuzzles against her neck.

“And where are you going?” Mabel asks, jiggling.

“I don’t know, probably Canada, I have friends there.”

“Man, if the wolves are coming we might need you around.”

“Kids, I am afraid my fighting days are over, remember that not so long ago a 12 year old kid beat me and had me at his mercy, now we just want to live in peace, but even if I won't fight I will not abandon you; I am friend with the birds, if we find something we will let you know immediately.”

“Thanks man, it was nice seeing you.”

“I say the same, and before I leave, wouldn’t you have something to eat? Since I lost my lair I have not been able to cook anything decent.”

“Wait, you cook?” Hunter asks.

“Of course, what kind of uncivilised creature do you think I am? You should taste my apple pies, and my berry pies, and my trout baked in a bread crust or my figs fried in duck fat with wild tree nuts, they are so delicious you will lick your claws ten times over after tasting them!”

So they surrender their sandwiches to the bear, and since that was only enough for one of the bear’s eight heads Dipper drives twenty miles to the nearest town and buys a whole cured leg of deer, some loaves of wood baked bread and some jars of conserves that bring tears to the eyes of the multi bear when he receives them.

“Thanks friends, thanks, I will let you know if I see the wolves.” The Multi-Bear tells them as he ambles into the forest.

“Mason, that was a bear, no, it was like four bears together, it had like ten heads and twenty paws and it could talk! TALK!”

“Yes it did, and it only has eight heads and twelve limbs.” Mabel answers him.

“But, but how is that possible?

“They are a Multi-bear, that is why it is possible.”

“That doesn’t explain anything.”

“You believe in werewolves, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, but that is because I have seen them and…”

“And now you have also seen a Multi-Bear, haven’t you?”

Hunter doesn’t answer Mabel, he just silently gets inside the car. This time Mabel is driving while Dipper makes a call, and finally the person he is looking for answers.

“McGucket, are you alright? We have been looking for you like crazies.”

“Yes Dipper, I managed to possum myself away in a yippy.”

“Wait what? What do you mean, where are you?”

“I am in the hidey hidey with the raccoon wifey, don’t worry, I am building a gigantonomous robomajig in case the bad people come looking for me again.”

“Wait, No! Fiddleford, don’t build a giant robot, not unless you want the bad people who took Alana away to get their hands on it. Are you home right now?”

“No, they chased me away from my little Hootenanny Hut, but I will get it back, I will give them a nice dose of shmashingos so they won't ever think of doing evilry again.”

“Fiddleford, listen to yourself, you are slipping back to your old personality, please tell us where you are and we will go looking for you and…”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, too dangerous! I will go looking for you when my big mechanical thingy is finished, meanwhile I will lay low, see you later Dipper, this call might be traced so I have to say goodbye.”

“Tracing our phones? Ford and you designed them, they are untraceable, Old man, please…”

That moment McGucket hangs up.

“Damn that Sonia and her people! They have scared Old Man McGucket into his old kooky personality, he doesn’t deserve that.”

“Those people! They make me want to….ARRGH!” Mabel answers Dipper.

Hunter, who has been carefully listening to the conversation asks.

“A giant robot? For real?”

Mabel and Dipper just look at him.

“Are there more weird things around, besides werewolves and multi-bears?” Hunter asks and Dipper begins explaining:

“Well, there are the manotaurs, and the grembolins, gnomes…”

“Awful bunch those gnomes, definitely not what you would call gentlemen.” Mabel interrupts him.

“...ghosts, several types of them, vampires, mermaids, zombies, dinosaurs and prehistoric flying reptiles, shapeshifting creatures, hand stealing witches, face stealing fiends, other dimensional demons of different classes…”

“Time travelers, krakens, flying eyeballs, bigfoot, hide-behinds…”

“Mabel, the hide-behind was actually just a legend.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, well, almost sure, I still can’t explain who took the tape from my camera, so maybe there is something true about that creature.”

“Oh, well, then what else are we forgetting? Unicorns, idiot, hateful unicorns, spider-ladies, giant bratty babies who rule future planets with an iron fist, rancorous festivity entities made of stale candy, little candy-eating monsters, sentient golf balls…”

“...giant bats, probability wizards, real life video game characters, at least one love god and those are only some of the beings we have met in our world, now if we talk about the multiverse…”

“I don’t know if I want to know about all that, can you please put something simple and happy on the radio? I feel like I am about to lose my mind.”

“Sure.” Mabel tells Hunter as she turns on the radio and a song from Sev’ral Timez is playing.

“Did you know all members of that band were lab-grown clones?” Mabel asks Hunter.

Mondays are Dipper’s busiest days, at least regarding the number of lectures he has to attend, both mandatory and optional. Today he decides not to antagonize Townsend, he has plenty of other things on his mind, particularly that he and Mabel might have spoken too much the previous day; they shouldn’t have listed to Hunter all the weird creatures they have met during their lives. He is also worried about the Multi-Bear, and even if they made Hunter promise not to tell anyone about him he can’t be sure he is going to keep his mouth shut and that will surely endanger his multi-headed friend, and to add to his list of worries Pacifica is unusually cold towards him.

Last night he spoke with Ford and Stan and told them about the things going on, about the werewolves and Sonia’s people rummaging through Gravity Falls’ forests.

“Uncle, where are you now?”

“Close to Bahía Concepcion at the sea of Cortez.”

“Hold it, weren’t you going to deliver the little mermaids to the mermaid colony close to Monterey?”

“Yes, but it turns out the little ladies forebears came from the Baja colony, so we had to travel further south, we won’t be back to Oregon in at least two weeks.”

“Man, that sucks, we could definitely use your help, and I don’t want to tell Fairway about the werewolves, something tells me that that would lead to werewolf soldier’s in the future.”

“I think the same, but if things get too dangerous you might not have a choice, even with your perfume mixture a dozen werewolves are a lot of werewolves, and if it is true that some ancient beings are going to be among the pack then your potion might not be that effective; remember that supernatural creatures usually get stronger with age.”

“I know uncle, I know. What should we do about McGucket?”

“The old man will slowly get his wits back, don’t worry about him, I don’t believe he is going to charge into Singularity Hollow piloting a giant robot, or at least I hope so… no, no, he won’t do that, I am sure.”

“I truly hope you are right.”

“Me too boy, me too.”

“Uncle, we are setting traps in potential werewolf lairs, and one of those potential lairs used to be the Electron Company, we are going there tonight and since you had that special carpet I wonder if you know someone who might help us.”

“No, really not, you are on your own there.”

They kept talking for a couple more minutes before they wished each other a good night and ended the communication. That was last night and now Dipper is getting everything ready for a visit to the old carpet factory. Hunter, Mabel and Wendy are coming with him this afternoon, and as they stop to buy some snacks for the road Pacifica walks by.

“Hey, what are you guys planning? Please don’t bring the apocalypse here if you can help it.”

“No girl, we are actually trying to avoid it, or must likely just save my brother’s and Hunter’s necks.”

“Is it going to be dangerous? Should I inform Trigger to get his people ready?”

“No, no, definitely not, don’t inform Trigger!”

“Dipper, is this about the werewolves thing Hunter was telling the other night? If that is so, don’t you believe that a dozen people with automatic weapons could be useful?”

“I have my way of dealing with werewolves, one that hopefully will not kill anyone.” Dipper answers Pacifica as he gives her a spray bottle filled with his secret potion.

Pacifica sniffs the bottle and her face turns stern.

“I see, a secret formula your old friend Alana gave you.”

“Alana? No, she doesn’t know about it.”

“Oh, please, if she doesn’t know about it then why the other day she smelled exactly like this?”

“That is impossible! I haven’t seen her since the night of the party, how could she…. wait a minute, Hunter, do you have something to tell us?”

“Me? Why?”

“About giving Alana a sample of my anti-wolf potion?”

“Heh, you are funny, why should I do that?”

“I don’t know, maybe because Sonia Fairway told you to do so.”

“I knew we couldn’t trust wolf boy! Who in their sane mind could think of hurting a Poodle?”

“I hate poodles.” Pacifica tells Mabel.

“And so do I.” Wendy adds.

“Girls, back me up here!”

“We back you up girl, we don’t believe Hunter here is to be trusted but we hate poodles.”

“I guess it is a family thing then, the Corduroy girls all hate poodles.”

“Mabel, I hate Poodles too.” Dipper tells her.

“Dipper, so Alana has not visited you?”

“Pacifica, no, I mean, there would be nothing wrong if she did but no, she hasn’t visited me.”

“What a relief!”

“Eh, why would that be a relief?” Mabel asks her.

“Aah, ehh.. she is dangerous! Dipper might believe she is a good woman now but I am sure that is not the case.”

“I think the same.” Mabel says.

“We all think the same, and I would extend that feeling to Hunter here; I don’t understand why you trust him, Dipper.”

“Wendy, I don’t trust him, but he is kind of our werewolf expert and his life is in danger too, so I hoped he would behave honorably to those trying to save his life, and it seems I was mistaken.”

“Hold it there, I have not accepted I was the one who gave Alana the potion, maybe she sneaked into your room and stole the sample.”

“No, my friends would have told me.”

“What friends?”

“Some friends you should never know about, those friends! Damn it, Hunter, don’t tell me you told Sonia and her goons about the Multi-Bear too.”

“Dipper, I have not spoken with Sonia or any of her men about your potion or the bear thing.”

“And what about Alana?”

“Please! Alana, I mean, she, I just barely know her.”

“Have you or not.”

“Of course I haven’t.”

“I don’t believe you; Hunter, you are out of this mission.”

“What! You need me, as you said I am your werewolf expert.”

“We will have to do without you tonight.”

“So, you three are going to cover a huge abandoned fabric by yourselves?”

“I can go with you guys.” Pacifica tells them, and almost immediately regrets it: what if she is caught sneaking inside private property with a group of people carrying traps? And what kind of traps are those? What if they want to blow up the place?”

“Thanks Pacifica, then hop in. See you later, Hunter, we will talk then, and I am going to want the whole truth.”

After saying those things Dipper steps on the gas pedal and leaves.

“Guys, you are not planning to blow up anything, do you?” Pacifica asks.

“What, no, we are setting some traps, that is true, but all they will do is release an anti-werewolf potion, one made up of french perfume; the most the traps are going to do is leave the place they go off smelling really good, that and curing werewolves of their curse.”

“So, that is why you bought all the available stock of my perfume… you jerk!”

“Hey, am I a jerk for trying to defend a town from werewolves?”

“A town or just you?”

“Well, if you put it that way then… wait a minute, I paid for those bottles, I should not be giving explanations.”

“And where did you get the money to buy so much fancy perfume, brother?” Mabel asks.

“About that, it is a funny story.” Dipper answers and tells them about how Sonia let him keep the money Alana had in the other dimension.”

“So, basically, you stole her money.”

“No Wendy, she was given a similar amount of money, in the end we both ended with a nice bank account.”

“And when were you planning to share that money with us? We also risked our lives back on the island that time forgot.”

“Girl’s, it is Sonia’s money, the less we spend of it the better.”

They travel forty minutes into the forest until they reach an old building in a very secluded place. Waiting for them there is a man, about the same age of their grunkles, wearing a dark jacket and sporting an awesome beard.

“Hello, are you Mason and Mabel Pines?” The man asks with a deep voice.

“Yes we are, are you Sam Thomlinson?”

“Yes I am.” the man answers.

“Hi, we are sorry to bother you with our request, our uncle Stanford Pines told us he worked here sometime in the eighties and we wanted to take a look, it will be a great research topic for our Industrial Archeology of the Northwest class.”

“Stanford Pines, do you know the man?”

“We are his great nephews, this guy and I.” Mabel tells him.

“So, if I understand you correctly, you just want to explore the place and set some surveillance equipment, something about urban exploration, is that correct?”

“Yes, yes, sure, sure.”

The girls leave the auto.

“So, are you like the warden?” Mabel asks.

“Something like that, I just make sure no one odd gets inside the building, it might not be safe inside. I used to work here a long time ago, here is where I met your uncle. I have to admit it is a surprise hearing his name again, after all these years.”

“Were you working in security back then?”

“Me? No, I was in R&D.”

“That is awesome! Tell me, do you have a way to determine the fluffiness of a rug, or what color goes with what other, or…”

“Mabel, please leave him alone.”

“It is OK, this girl kind of reminds me of me when I was her age.”

“OK.” Dipper answers.

They get inside the building and for some moments Dipper regrets not bringing Hunter with them; now he has to guess which are the best places to leave the perfume traps and the place is huge and the traps very limited in number and range and on top of that it is starting to get dark outside and even darker inside..

“Hey, what is behind this door?” Wendy asks, pointing to a big metallic door.

“Sorry, what is behind that door is off-limits.”

“So, industrial secrets.” Wendy asks.

“Yes, but not only that, the things locked up there might be dangerous, that is why the door is so tightly locked.

Wendy pushes the door and it opens up giving a loud creak.

“It is not that tightly locked.” Wendy says and takes a look inside.

“There are only old rugs and carpets inside.”

Samuel runs into the room and takes a look.

“Oh shit, someone was here and took all the ancient raw materials hidden, this is no good, no good.”

“Why, why were those old materials dangerous, were they toxic, or radioactive or something like that?” Dipper asks, following Sam into the room.

“No, but they were dangerous, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Has it something to do with swapping bodies?” Mabel asks, much to Dipper 's dismay.

Sam’s jaw almost falls to the floor.

“What did you say, kid?”

“Relax old man, we had an encounter with one of your old carpets some years ago, and I have to say that it made me look at things from a very different perspective, from the perspective of other people, that is.” Mabel explains.

“So, it still exists, there is still hope. I need to inform my husband about this.”

“Your husband, Mr, Thomlinson?” Wendy asks.

“Yes, yes, finally I can talk with someone who understands me; you know that the carpet is real, and if it still exists, that means that going back is possible!”

“Mr. Thomlinson, the rug no longer exists, uncle Stan got rid of it.” Dipper says.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that Dipper, I thought I saw it in the attic before we left Gravity Falls seven years ago.” Mabel informs him.

“Well, if there is a chance that carpet still exists then that is a chance I can’t afford to miss.” Sam says as he pulls a gun from his overall and points it at them.

“Now, let’s have a little chat and see if you can contact your uncle Ford, he and I really need to talk.”

“Mr. Thomlinson, what are you doing?” Pacifica asks.

“Kids, your uncle owes me some explanations, he just vanished in 1982, leaving us trapped, with no hope, and now he reappears, just when he is more needed. I need that carpet, but I think he is going to be more honest and forthcoming to my demands if the life of his nephews are at stake, so please turn around: girl, take these zip.ties and tie your friends.” Sam says while throwing some zip ties to Pacifica.

A loud bang is heard as the propelling charge of Mabel’s grappling hook goes off. The hook misses Sam’s head by mere centimeters, but gives time for Dipper to draw his own gun.

A loud humming noise is heard as Sam’s gun is being pulled by the power of Dipper’s magnetic pistol, but Sam is not letting go.

“I need to increase the power of the magnetic pull.” Dipper says but then realizes that not only Sam is not letting go of the gun but the muzzle of his revolver is pointing exactly in his direction.

“Oh shit!.” Dipper says as he tries to get out of the shooting line, but as he ducks he points his magnetic gun upwards, exactly on a very large steel beam.

Dipper holds to his gun as he suddenly is flying upwards into the shadows.

“Boy, come down here or your girlfriends are going to get it.” The man says just before he is being pulled upwards by the force of the magnetic force exerted on his revolver.

“I am not letting go, boy.” The man says, as he holds to his gun and loses one shot. He is floating a meter above ground and Wendy takes her chance and jumps on him, trying to choke him, but as soon as she hits the man they both start spinning uncontrollably..

“Girls, I need help!” Wendy shouts as Pacifica and Mabel jump on the man too.

“I can’t get a proper hold.” Wendy shouts, but Mabel is already tickling the guy in the armpits and seconds later the guy releases the gun, bringing everybody down to the floor.

“Heeeeeck!” Dipper shouts as he falls down but luckily lands on a big bunch of discarded rugs and carpets, raising a huge cloud of dust.

“Dipper, are you OK?” Pacifica says as she runs towards him.

“Pacifica, we need help here!” Wendy tells her as the big guy manages to shake the girls off him and tries to run away. He is almost at the door when a loud swoosh is heard and then the man finds his feet encased in solid ice. The man stumbles and falls forward as Wendy once again falls on him, twists his arm and ties him with the very zip-ties he had given Pacifica instants ago.

“OK pal, stop struggling.” Pacifica tells Sam while picking up and cocking the revolver.

“No, no, no, Ford owes me, Ford owes us, he has to listen to us, he has to come and fix things, he owes us!” Sam says.

“Man, can you tell us what is going on?” Dipper asks him, still trying to catch his breath.

“Brother, are you alright?”

“Yes Mabel; I should have gone for the freezing gun from the start.”

“Yes you should have.”

“Now, what do we do with this guy?”

“I met Ford in the summer of 1981, I was just a young girl back then, full of the excitement of my first job.”

“Did you say young girl?” Pacifica asks.

“I was so eager to work and to learn, and the last thing I was expecting when I accepted the job offer was to fall in love, but fall in love I did with this young man, so handsome, so smart, so funny! We were both working in R&D, and we had been dating for a couple of months when this man came knocking on our door, on the Electron’s Company door, that is. Initially he claimed that the water we were using in our manufacturing process came from a cursed well, something about a soul-sucking vortex or something like that. As you can imagine no one believed him, so he came back offering us to streamline our processes and do it for free, and who can argue with free? In the end he delivered, and not only that, he also helped us in the design process of new materials; if only we had known then what he was really planning! He worked day and night, without pay, coming up with new carpet designs until he finally got what he wanted. By that time management was starting to get suspicious of Stanford’s real reasons to help us, so they politely asked him to leave, to which he wholeheartedly agreed, but demanded a specific carpet he had designed as compensation. My boyfriend and I went to pick it up, but as we worked with it we were hit or affected by something, I still don’t know what exactly happened but we both lost consciousness. When I finally opened my eyes I was lying on a hospital bed, and I had a beard, a beard! Naturally, I freaked out because then I noticed that not only did I have a beard, but also some other body parts that didn't belong to me, to the me I had been up until that day.

“Wait, are you trying to tell us that you and your boyfriend swapped bodies, that you were a woman?” Pacifica asks.

“Yes, I was. Desperate, we deducted that the carpet must have been the thing that had swapped our minds so we tried to reach Stanford Pines, and it took us months but we finally located him in Gravity Falls. We explained to him what had happened but we knew something was wrong the moment we saw him: he looked like the Stanford we knew but there was something off about him, he claimed not to know us and called us crazies when we asked him about the body-swapping carpet and then we understood: Stanford must had stolen that poor man’s body and the victim couldn’t cope with the change, so he was pretending to be the real Stanford even if it was obvious that he wasn’t. We asked for his real identity, we told them we could help him get his life back but he told us he was happy with his current life and chased us off his property with a baseball bat.

Months passed without us knowing anything about Stanford Pines, and soon my mom began to complain about all the time my husband and I were spending together without being a married couple, she was always nagging my husband, telling him that that was not the behavior of a decent lady, so we finally decided that if we were going to keep looking for Stanford we needed to do it without interruptions, so a year later we got married. After some time living together we came to the realization that our situation might be a lifelong one, and that, even if we were in each other’s bodies, we still loved each other very much, so we decided to give life as it was a try, a real try.

“A try? And did it work?” Wendy asks.

“We have three children and seven grandchildren, so yes, it worked.”

“And if it worked fine, why do you want to go back to your original bodies? After all, at this moment in time, you have spent more time being each other than your original selves, why the eagerness to go back to your original bodies?” Dipper asks.

“My husband, my wife, she… she has cancer, and the prognosis is not good: she is undergoing therapy but it is obvious she is in pain, constantly in pain and it is not fair, that body is my body, I should be the one suffering, not her, that pain was meant for me and it kills me to see her so broken, so diminished, so hurt, I would do anything to spare her that suffering.”

“Sir,.. lady, that is sweet, we will talk with Ford about your situation, if he still has the carpet we will make sure he helps you.” Mabel offers.

“Would you do that, really, after what I tried to do to you?”

“Our uncle Ford messed up big with you, we will try to make it good now.”

“Thanks, thanks a lot, now, could you please untie me and break the ice surrounding my feet? I can’t feel my toes any longer.”

Wendy first pats him down, and after making sure he has no spare ammo on him he unties him and takes the revolver Pacifica is holding, removes the bullets and gives Sam the gun back.

It takes them another hour to set the traps and as they say goodbye to Sam he shows them a picture.

“Here, this is my family, the picture is old, our kids were still, well, kids, I don’t want you to see how my wife looks now, I don’t even recognize her now after all the therapies.”

“Wow, she was, I mean you were, he is… argh! She is very pretty and… well, she is also a buxom lady.” Mabel tells him.

“Yes, she is.”

“And he had to get used to that?”

“Yes, to all of that.”

Mabel smiles and then tells the man again.

“Thanks for the help, I promise you we will talk to Uncle Ford about what happened to you and we will make him help, hell, we will force him to help you if it comes to that.”

“And just in case, please try not to get near this fabric for the next month or so, you might encounter very nasty things inside, evil things, and no, we are not terrorists or cultists or anything like that, what we are trying to do is protect you and the people of nearby towns.” Dipper explains.

“Protect us from what?”

“Monsters, Mr. Thomlinson, monsters of the supernatural kind, and before you label us crazies think about the body you are living in now, there are plenty of things that defy the laws of reality you have lived with your whole life, so please trusts us on this, we will inform you when it is safe venturing into that old building again.”

Sam just nods in agreement and bids them goodbye as he closes the big padlock protecting the main gate.

“Guys, why do things always have to be so surreal with you?” Pacifica asks as soon as they hit the road.

“That is the Pines’ way.” Dipper answers.

“Well, it seems like the Pines’ way leaves a lot of destruction behind.” Pacifica replies.

Dipper and Mabel remain silent, and after some seconds Mabel shares.

“Dipper, what if Pacifica is right? What if we are just making things worse?”

“Mabel, there would be lots of evil things willing to jump on humanity even if we were not here. You heard what Alana said, Bill had been interested in our dimension for a long time, if we had not gotten involved with him he might have found another way to break into our world, a way that didn’t have our grunkles ready to stop him. I admit that we could be more careful when dealing with the supernatural but this is kind of a learning while doing job, there is not a manual or handbook available from which to learn; must of what we know about the weirdness out there we know because Uncle Ford took it to himself to document it, and as much as he has found I fear there are lots more things we don’t know about than we do. We might think we are making great advances regarding the unknown, but what we are really doing is stumbling forward.”
.
“And tripping down a lot of people around you.”

“Please Pacifica, as if the Northwests were an example of charity and restraint.” Dipper says and almost immediately regrets it.

“Sorry Pacifica, I didn’t mean…”

“Maybe not, but you are not wrong, my family has been the scourge of this land for too long, but I want to make things right or at least not be another link in that chain of evil.”

“Pacifica, you are already out of that chain, you are not like your father.”

“Thanks Dipper.”

“Pacifica, maybe we should get together more often, you know, to talk, that is if you are not busy, and we could also study together some time, I could really use help with that.”

“You Dipper, the I-am-so-ahead of the current knowledge guy?”

“That is the problem, it seems like studying with Ford made me skip lots of things I am supposed to know now.”

“Sure, I can help you, but I want something in exchange: I teach you my physics and you teach me yours, that is if you can trust a Northwest with that knowledge.”

“A Northwest? I don’t know. You? Sure I can.”

“Dipper, now that you have money, why don’t you invite Pacifica to dinner somewhere fancy, worthy of the governor’s daughter?” Mabel suggests.

“I would like to, but people think I am an evil animal murderer, if Pacifica is seen with me it might tarnish her good name.”

“Dipper, we can go to the Country Club.”

“Pacifica, you need to have a membership to get inside, and those are not given just to anyone, even if that anyone is a billionaire.”

“My family are lifelong members, I can get you in as my guest, there you can treat me to dinner, and don’t worry about what people is going to think about you, that place is full of worse predators than you, not that you are evil or something, no, what I want to say is that some of the people who go there would shoot the last dolphin alive just to be able to brag about it.”

“Now I don’t know if I want to go there.”

“When you taste the eclaires you are not going to want to leave.”

“Alright, then we can go there this weekend if we are not overrun with werewolves by then, and speaking of werewolves, Pacifica, we still need to go to another potential lair, and this one is located in one of your family's abandoned businesses, the Anvil and Anchor factory, would you happen to have blueprints of the place?”

“No, I don’t, my dad might have one, do you want me to ask him for it?”

“And alert his friends that we are interested in that place? No, we will manage without it, just like we did with the Carpet factory.”

“I can’t believe yet what happened with those two guys, with Samuel and his wife, or her husband or I have no idea how to refer to them.” Pacifica says.

“Yes I know, yet it is really romantic, they both managed to look past appearances and see the person they had fallen in love with, they probably had to teach each other how to act, how to behave, what kind of reactions to expect from other people and they managed to do it, to stay together, to raise a family, to keep loving each other. I would like to have something like that someday but without losing my body, what about you, Wendy?”

“Sure, it would be great having that kind of feelings for someone, Mabel, and what about you, Dipper, don’t you feel the same?”

“Wendy, now I am more worried about not hurting people the way Ford did with those two guys, even if he didn’t swap their minds on purpose, it is his fault that they ended up living each other’s lives, and I am scared I might hurt people like that someday.”

“Dipper, you are not Ford, don’t worry about that, you do think of the consequences of your actions, and regarding inventions, well, you are different from Ford, don’t worry.”

“Mabel, what does that mean?”

“Nothing brother, nothing, I love you, want some candy? I have some chocolate bars left.”

“You don’t believe I can do the things Ford does, don’t you? That I can’t create things as amazing as our uncle can?”

“Dipper, when he was your age Ford had already created a perpetual movement machine. Bro, I know you are the smartest person in this car, maybe in the whole university, but you are not at Ford’s level, no one is, and that is ok.”

“Yes, our uncle is very smart, but he had access to an alien starship full of advanced technology; he got lucky, very lucky, that is all.”

“He invented his perpetual movement machine before coming to Gravity Falls and finding the spaceship, you have to accept it, he is the genius of the family. Now, regarding dealing with weird stuff I do believe you are the best, you are proving it right now.”

“I will prove to you that I am as smart as Ford, you will see.”

“Dipper, don’t! Ford got lost in the multiverse and provoked so much suffering because he felt he had to prove something, don’t make the same mistake.”

“I won’t, I am smarter than that.”

“Damn it, Dipper, are we going to have to constantly keep an eye on you now? Yes, I think we should keep an eye on you from now on; Wendy, Pacifica, do you agree to keep an eye on my dorky brother?”

“I did it a whole summer and I really enjoyed it, except for all the times we almost died, so I can do it from time to time.” Wendy answers.

“Girls, why should I do that?” Pacifica asks.

“Because you are the only one who can probably understand the things my brother might try to build, that is why.”

“I will try to help, but I have a very busy schedule.”

“Then just keep him focused on other things!”

“And how am I supposed to do that?”

“Girls, I am here if you haven’t noticed.”

“WE ARE NOT TALKING TO YOU; DIPPER!” The three girls say in unison.

It is almost past midnight when Dipper is entering his room, dragging the remaining perfume traps behind him. So, not as smart as Ford? I am going to show them, I am going to create something so awesome that even Ford is going to be completely astonished, now, what can I possibly create? Dipper thinks and It takes him an hour to finally realize that no, he is not as smart as his uncle Ford. Sure, he had found the way to control the Electrolls, but that he had achieved through talking, by being friendly not by using any amazing scientific discovery of his own. He had fine tuned his freezing and magnetic guns so they have not randomly activated for almost a year which is something good but had not been particularly intellect demanding.

“OK Dipper, relax, focus on the task at hand; what can you create that Ford could never create?”

“Mr. Pines, I hope you spent the night awake studying and not losing time streaming nonsense.” Townsend tells him, and damn, why doesn’t he let him sleep a little?

Because you are in the middle of one of his lectures, he tells himself, trying to open his eyes. Last night Dipper had been thinking of what he could possibly invent to impress Mabel and Wendy and he was still trying to figure that out when day broke. Now, he can’t keep his eyes open and if he tries to force it he only manages to get a throbbing headache.

Somehow, Dipper manages to pretend he is paying attention until the class ends. Fortunately, this day due to scheduling conflicts Townsend’s lecture is the last of the day, not the first but if he doesn’t get at least a little rest he is not going to be of much use today at the abandoned Northwest fabric, so he walks to the library, secures one of the private study rooms and places his head on the table: an hour of sleep will surely do him good.

He hears the door open and Dipper wakes up and looks at his watch: one hour, he got a good hour of sleep and he feels a little better.

“Sorry, I didn’t know the room was occupied and…. is it you, Mason?”

“Yes Chloe, it is me, evil Mason; I am not in the mood for insults, so no, I haven’t killed anyone or taken part in the kidnapping of another human being but think whatever you want.”

“So, you are not really a bad boy in disguise?”

“I am just what you see, a hopeless nerd.”

“Well, that is a shame, you were starting to look interesting.”

“What?”

“Nothing, it was just that some of us were starting to think that maybe you were more than your regular nerd, that is all.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you.”

“Yes, it is kind of disappointing, and yet…”

“Yet what?”

“Tell me, did that guy Hunter come here of his own will, or was he really forced to attend our school? He told us a lot of weird things at the party.”

“Chloe, I can’t really tell you what happened to him.”

“And that woman, Alana, what happened between you and her? And how was Pacifica involved? She doesn’t want to tell and we always share everything with each other.”

“If Pacifica hasn’t told you, then I can’t tell you either.”

“And what were you doing last night? We saw Pacifica leave with you and your Gravity Falls friends yesterday and she returned to her apartment way past midnight smelling of chemicals and old stuff. We are neighbors, and when I asked her what she had been doing she just told me “Catching up on old times” and got inside her apartment, just like that, without telling me what had just happened, to me, to me! So, what is going on, Mason?”

“Just that, catching up on old times.”

“Sure, driving around for hours just for fun, just that? What is so wonderful about the old times that Paz doesn’t want to share? Are you somehow blackmailing her?”

“Please, as if that was possible! Pacifica is not the kind of people who is intimidated easily…. and no, I am not blackmailing her or her family or trying to hurt her in any way, I like her, she is a good person, a friend, I trust her, fully trust her.”

“So, you like her.”

“I wish her well, she is a friend, don’t jump to any weird conclusions.”

“Weird conclusions? If they are weird why are you blushing then?”

“Because I don’t know you and you are asking me lots of personal questions, that’s why.”

“You don’t know me better because you don’t want to.”

“Excuse me?”

“I am just saying that we can be friends, I try not to jump to conclusions or be as judgemental as Cher.”

“That is nice to know, that girl seems to hate me.”

“You are not his favorite person, that is true; she can’t understand why Pacifica is friends with you, just as I can’t but at least I am trying to find out why, so let me ask you this again: are you a bad boy, Mason Pines?”

“Bad boy, no, I wouldn’t say so.”

“Are you dangerous?”

“Dangerous as in how?”

“Do dangerous things happen when you are around?”

“Sometimes, but not because I want them to happen.”

“But you go looking for danger, don’t you?”

“Well, sometimes I feel forced to do it more than anything else, but I try not to get innocent people involved.”

“But they get involved, don’t they? Tell me, did Alana, Hunter and Pacifica are some of the innocent people who got involved in your dangerous stuff? Surely by accident, don’t they?”

“First you would have to define innocent before I could answer that question.”

“So you got them involved in dangerous stuff. Tell me, Mason, who are you really?”

“Just a guy from Piedmont, California, that is all.”

“Sure?”

“Yes, I am, and by the way, why all the sudden interest in me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, I just want to be sure Pacifica doesn’t get involved in any risky business, I don’t want a repeat of… certain experiences, that is all.”

“Wait, what kind of experiences?”

“So, she doesn’t tell you everything? That is good. As you can’t tell me what kind of things you and Paz do out of town or did in the past, I surely can’t tell you the things she and I have been through either.”

“Why? Was she hurt?” Did someone hurt her?”

“Sorry, I can’t tell, or maybe I could, but you would have to tell me some things first, we can have a little give and take situation here.”

“No, I can’t tell you the kinds of things Pacifica is helping us do right now, or the real reason Hunter is here or how Alana got involved in our lives.”

“Then I can’t tell what happened in Pacifica’s past either.”

Dipper looks at his watch and tells Chloe.

“Sorry girl, I have to leave, you can have this room for yourself if so you want.” And leaves.

He is walking down the big stone stairs that lead to the library when he sees Pacifica standing beside her sister’s Trius and Wendy and Mabel are with her.

“Are you ready to set those traps?” Pacifica asks him.

“Sure.”

“Then get inside, I want to be back at my apartment before 9.”

“I am driving.” He says.

As the gang leaves, Chloe watches them.

“So, what is the big secret here?” She asks herself.

“So, this is your family’s old business?”

“Yes, one of the former businesses; after Bill things were not the same for us.”

“Well, your father is now the Governor, so it seems like you fell upwards this time.”

“Dipper, money trumps anything, even political power; I am sure my father still longs for the days he received money for doing virtually nothing more than asking his business managers for results; he likes power and prestige but being a governor is too much work and the salary is ridiculous.”

“Anyway, he still has other sources of income, doesn’t he?”

“Some sawmills, a dozen or so apartment buildings, a nice amount invested in the stock market and land, lots of land, that is where our wealth rests now, acres and acres of land to develop, sell or use as it is most beneficial for us.” Pacifica tells them as she opens the main gate. The old factory comprises four buildings; one for raw materials, another one for the smelting and casting of the metal, a large warehouse for finished goods and a small building that housed the administrative offices.

“Damn, do we have enough traps?” Wendy asks.

“They are going to have to be enough since those are all we have.” Dipper answers.

The four of them enter the first building, the offices, and set some traps and a camera close to the entrance and do the same with the warehouse and the raw materials area. As they are about to enter the main production plant they see someone walking close to it. It is a man, about the same age as Wendy and of similar height. He walks with slow, deliberate steps and occasionally stops, closes his eyes and sniffs around.

“Shh, stop.” Dipper tells his friends as they hide behind the office’s building.

“Hello, who is there?” The guy asks. “I can hear you, please, you don’t need to hide, I am just a regular guy, nothing freaky about me.”

“Are you sure of that?” Dipper answers, walking out of the building.

“Mason, is that you? What the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same to you.”

“Just doing a little urban exploration, or in this case rural exploration, what about you?”

“The same.”

“You and your three female friends? And why are they hiding?”

“I just didn’t know if it was safe for them to be seen by you.”

“Well, they can’t hide from me, I have been smelling them for a while.”

“I take from what you just said that you are a wolf again.”

“Mason, don’t insult our intelligence; we know Hunter has been talking with you for some days now and he has told you what is coming for you.”

“And why are you not giving me right now what I deserve?”

“As much as I would like to, there are people higher in our hierarchy who want to talk with you first, or being honest, called dibs on the chance to rip your throat.”

“Like we are going to let you hurt my brother.” Mabel says, coming out of her hiding place, followed by Wendy and Pacifica.

“Whoa Mason, how come a dork like you is accompanied by girls that hot? Tell me gals, aren’t you interested in the werewolf life?”

“What werewolf life? Last I heard they were about to get extinct.” Wendy answers him.

“Uh, feisty, I like feisty, bad boys like me go crazy for feisty girls.”

“Ross, you drink your coffee decaf, with three spoons of sugar and almond milk, oh, and cry with cartoons.”

“Damn, Mason, we wolves don’t like bitter flavors and modern cartoons are so complex and emotional!”

“Ross, you are not a bad boy, you are just a sad dog.”

“A sad dog? Mason, we were told not to kill you or Hunter, but roughen you up we can surely do.”

“Come on, just try it.” Dipper says, producing his freezing pistol.

“What is that thing, a toy? It doesn’t even have a proper barrel! What are you going to shoot out of that thing, sparkles? Me, on the other hand…”

As Ross says this hair starts to sprout out of his arms and face, as his mouth starts to elongate into an animal’s snout.

“Now you are going to get it Mason, payback for what you did to...GHAAACK!”

Ross suddenly finds himself encased in thick ice with only his head free.

“What the fuck, Mason, how did you do this?”

“My little toy is more capable than you would believe.”

“But this is impossible, how can you have a freezing ray?”

“And how can you turn into a werewolf?”

“A werewolf is ok, but a freezing gun? Come on!”

“Oh, you look cute!” Mabel says as she pinches Ross’ furry cheeks.

“Stop touching! You should never touch a person’s body without their consent!”

“But ripping their throats out is ok?” Wendy asks.

“Sure, it is just business, and it is not like this guy doesn’t deserve it.”

“For preventing you from doing something bad?”

“Mason, we would have never hurt anyone, that is not what werewolves do; we are more into being one with nature and all those things.”

“Really? Dipper, we can’t leave him trapped like that then.”

“Mabel, don’t believe him, I have been doing some research about them, and they do are vicious creatures.”

“Vicious? Misunderstood, that is what we are, nothing more than that, and could you please release me, or at least make my ice cage a little looser? It hurts a lot being in this half-transformed state.”

“I don’t think so, I am even thinking of adding another layer of ice.”

“No, don’t do it! Or well, do it if so you want, it seems like I can’t do anything to prevent you from doing it, so tell me, Mason, how have you been lately? Are things going well for you?”

“No, or at least not as good as I would like; my family is forced to work for… someone we don’t want to work for, I am not that liked in my new school…”

“So, just like the old times.”

“Very funny Ross… what was I telling you? Oh, yes, and a bunch of werewolves want to kill me.”

“You forgot to mention that your ex-girlfriend also tried to kill you.”

“Thanks for the information, Mabel.”

“So you are basically still a loser, aren't you?”

“Man, I am not the one trapped in ice.”

“Touché! Well, anything else you want to share? Why did your ex-girlfriend try to kill you?”

“Well, not exactly killing me, more like using my mind for… wait, why all this sudden interest in my life?”

“I just want to catch up on what an old friend has been doing, that is all.”

“Dipper, this guy is just making time, he is trying to stall us.” Pacifica tells Dipper.

“Is that true Ross?”

“It seems like this blonde doesn’t honor the stereotype, she is quite smart.”

“You are not alone, are you?”

After Dipper asks that question they hear something, someone running towards them, quick steps rushing on the loose gravel of the abandoned building pathways. Dipper turns around and another freezing blast erupts from his gun, and another figure is encased in ice, and carried away by its momentum comes and crashes against Ross.

The newly ice trapped creature is full-on werewolf, a true beast, humanoid in shape but with a big wolf-like head atop its shoulders, only its wide cranial vault betraying the presence of a human sized brain.

“Trent, is that you?” Dipper asks, but the newcomer just growls.

“Yes, it is Trent; Trent, you are an idiot! How did you let yourself get caught like that? Well, at least crashing against me has damaged the ice enough for me to do this.”

Ross just screams and with a supreme effort shatters the ice enveloping him, sending shards of it around, and a big chunk hits Dipper on the head.”

“Ouch!” He screams.

“You are going to give us more than an Auch,” Ross tells when a balloon filled with a liquid hits him square on the snout, bursting.

“Damn it, shit, shit, shit, not again!” Ross says as his body, which was bulking up and sprouting long hairs starts to shrink back and all the long hair growing on his body recedes inside his body, and he is not the only one affected for it seems that Trent was close enough to him to inhale a full breath of the fragrant liquid now filling the air. Trent also starts to shrink and all his bodily hair disappears.

“That will teach you!” Mabel tells them, while getting ready another balloon.

“Hey Dipper, the potion is no longer working.”

“It worked, Wendy, human Ross is that hairy.”

“Oh, sorry dude.”

“Girl, I am proud of my hairy body, there is nothing wrong with it!”

“Oh, I have nothing about hairy people, my dad is like a red bear, I am not saying I feel sorry for you, I am apologizing for not noticing that you are naturally hairy.”

“Oh, then apologies accepted.”

“Ross, you are taking your situation quite nicely, I thought you would be angrier at being made human again.”

“I should be, but now I know I can be easily made a werewolf again.”

“Oh, that is good, so you are not angry at me?”

“Mason, Mason, angry at you? No, I am sorry for you, that is what I am.”

As Ross says that something lands between Dipper and him, a big, slim creature covered in golden fur. Dipper quickly shoots his freezing gun at it but the creature just jumps out of the freezing stream. Dipper tries to take another shot at the beast but it is moving so fast, fast and smartly because everytime he could shoot at it one of his friends is also in danger of being hit.

“Dipper, shoot that thing!”

“I am trying, but it is not holding still! Maybe you can convince it of standing motionless for some seconds.” Dipper answers Pacifica.

“Her, she is a woman, don’t be rude and call her an it.” Ross tells them while Trent just chuckles and says:

“Oh, boy, Mason, now you are really going to get it.”

Dipper keeps trying to hit the werewolf woman, but keeps missing and missing, and worse: his own gun is getting really cold.

“Guys, I probably have just a couple more shots before this thing freezes over.” He informs their friends.

“Oh, give that thing to me.” Pacifica tells him while snatching the gun away from Dipper. She shoots two bursts in quick manner, the beast dodges the first, jumping up in the air while the second blast hits the beast square on her feet. The creature lands and breaks the ice trapping her with a quick, powerful swat of her paw, but not quick enough to prevent a balloon filled with perfume to hit her.

“Ha, take that!” Mabel yells at the beast.

“Dipper, why is that thing not changing?” Pacifica asks.

“Maybe it needs another dose.” Wendy answers, throwing another balloon at the beast, who catches it mid air, sniffs it, puts it on her mouth and bites it, spitting the burst balloon seconds after while giving them a grin that looks oddly like a smile, a horrid, terrifying smile.

“Mason, she is one of the oldest, one of the true bloods, she is not a cursed human, she was born a werewolf, with her, there is no curse to undo, being a werewolf if her natural condition.” Ross informs him.

“Dipper, what should we do now?” Wendy asks.

“Mabel, do you have your grappling hook?”

“I never leave home without it bro.”

“Then let's try to gain higher ground while the freezing gun thaws.”

“The top of the warehouse?”

“No, the top of the main building, it has a big, nice metallic chimney, and those pipes look sturdy enough to carry your weight.”

“OK, I get Pacifica, you get Wendy, now… run!”

They all start running towards the big building where steel was smelted. They have run for some six seconds when Dipper grabs Wendy by the waist, points his magnetic gun at the big rusted chimney and then they are flying through the air while a hairy paw barely misses them. As they are mid air they see Mabel some meters away from them, her grappling hook carrying her and Pacifica to the same rooftop they are heading. As they are above the rooftop Dipper turns the power off in his magnetic gun and he and Wendy fall just as Mabel and Pacifica gracefully land by their side.

“Nice landing bro, next time try to use your feet instead of your butt to make first contact.”

“Ouch! Hey, I am pretty good at this, it is just that I am not used to carrying something as heavy as Wendy while I do it.”

“Whom are you calling heavy?” Wendy retorts.

“I didn’t mean it that way! You are not heavy at all, your weight is perfect for you, I mean, I have carried things as heavy as Wendy before, but they were more compact, they weren’t that large or had such long legs and… no, I didn’t mean it that way!”

“Which way Dipper?”

“Like, your legs, I mean…”

“Dipper, my legs are fabulous, you wouldn’t be wrong to find them great, just so you know.”

“Guys, praises later. now we need to focus on some incoming claws and fangs.” Pacifica tells them, sounding a little annoyed, as the werewolf jumps and sticks its claws into the small crevices between the bricks making up the walls of the building.

“OK, let’s show that beast the advantages of high ground.” Dipper says as he lifts an empty 20 gallon steel drum and throws it at the creature.The beast swats the drum away just to be hit square on the face by a large construction block thrown by Wendy.The impact makes the creature lose her hold on the wall and falls down, falling agilely on her feet.

An angry growl tells our friends that the beast is not pleased, but she knows better than to try to climb again, at least alone, for she loses a scary howl which is quickly answered from the distance by multiple beasts.

“OK, that didn’t sound good, gals, we are going to have to risk it and run for the car, Pacifica, how is the gun?”

“Still cold, and making a weird low noise.”

“Good, that means it is thawing; we are going to have to go for the car right now; the pistol probably has one shot before it freezes again, so we have to make it count, and…”

That moment, an unknown voice calls for them.

“Hello up there, we need to talk.”

Everybody takes a peek downwards and their gaze meets a woman, middle aged, blonde with streaks of white on her hair. Ross and Trent are covering her body with some sort of furry cape.

“Hello, and you are?” Dipper asks.

“Just the woman who is going to rip your throat, that’s it, but your friends I have nothing against, even if they are the ones responsible for making these boys weak and human again I understand it is you Mason Pines who are the mastermind behind the attacks on our kind, so I would like to make a proposition to them: throw Mason out of the roof and I will let you join our pack: we are awfully short of female wolves and you seem to be girls of strength and quality, you would be a great addition to our family.”

“Lady, I spend hundreds of dollars on getting rid of body hair and you want me to become a furry creature? You must be nuts.” Pacifica tells her.

“Dipper is my brother, my family, I will never betray him, it doesn’t matter that you look so cute with all that fur and pointy ears.” Mabel replies.

They hear glass break and Wendy appears holding a fireman's axe.

“Come up here so I can give you my answer.” She says swinging the axe.

“Such foolishness! As they say, youth is wasted on the young! Well, it is your choice.” She says as she starts to transform again.

“She does look cute as a werewolf.” Mabel says.

“OK, this is the plan: Mabel, you think your hook can carry the four of us?”

“The line won’t break, but I don’t think the retractile mechanism will be strong enough to pull the four of us too far.”

“We just need it to pull us above the beast, Pacifica and I will then take care of that wolf lady.”

“Excuse me Dipper, you and I?”

“I have to admit that you are better than I with a pistol, and as I told you we are probably going to have just one shot, so we have to make it count.”

“Alright, but if I miss we are going to be unarmed and within grasp of that thing.”

“Eh... yes.”

“Dipper, if I die I swear I am suing you from the grave.”

“And I believe you, so, Mabel, this is what we are going to do.”

A minute later the propelling charge of Mabel’s grappling hook goes off and the hook wraps tight around a large tree branch, and seconds later the gun pulls the four people to the other side. The werewolf runs towards them, but as they have traveled half the distance Dipper, carrying Pacifica in his arms, lets go and falls, while pointing the magnetic gun at the metallic chimney. The wolf stops and jumps at them, just as the magnetic gun pulls them away from the beast´s reach. The werewolf turns mid air to look at them, but her gaze meets the business end of the freezing gun. Dipper and Pacifica make a nice landing this time, but the werewolf falls with a loud thud as she hits the ground hard, a solid mass of ice trapping her head and torso.

“So, am I easier to carry than Wendy or what?” Pacifica asks, since this time the landing was perfect.

“Pacifica, there is no time now to answer that, run!” Dipper tells her while placing her on the ground..

As they both run to the car, Pacifica tells Dipper.

“Give me the keys!”

“Wait, now you are driving?”

“Dipper, I was raised a rich girl, so there is always the risk of being kidnapped, so my dad made me take some courses in evasive and high speed driving and I know this road like the palm of my hand, so give me the keys now!”

Wendy and Mabel are already sitting on the back seat when Dipper and Pacifica get into the car.

“Wait, is Pacifica driving?”

“I am better than any of you behind a wheel and I could drive this road with my eyes closed, you need someone who knows this road well to make escaping in this slow thing a….. HOLY SHIT!”

The car lurches forward as if propelled from a cannon and Pacifica barely manages to dodge the wire fence surrounding the factory and make it through the open gate.

“Pacifica, Soos and uncle Ford installed one of their special motors and an alien battery in this car, so it has a little more horses than your regular Trius, like 2000 horses more.” Dipper informs Pacifica.

“Holy, this is sweet!” Pacifica says as she expertly turns a corner at high speed.

“Let’s see those things catch up with us now!” Pacifica says just as a large beast lands in the road, in front of them. The creature turns to face them, but soon its eyes grow as big as plates and tucks its tail between its legs when it notices Pacifica is not slowing down, and only a well timed jump saves the creature from being run over by the speeding Trius.

“Pacifica, you are crazy!” Mabel says, looking more thrilled than scared.

“That was not the werewolf woman, and neither Ross nor Trent.” Dipper says when they notice some shapes running alongside them.

“Guys, there are more of those things.” Wendy says while swinging her ax through the window at an approaching beast.

“Damn, they are following us through the forest, they don’t need to follow the road, they can cut us out in the next curve.” Dipper tells them.

“Just one more mile of twisty road, then we will have five miles of straight highway to leave them behind and…”

One beast lands on the car’s hood and growls at them, but Dipper stands through the sunroof and sprays the creature with his potion. The beast takes its hands to his face, losing its grip on the car which takes a sharp corner, throwing the wolf into some thorny bushes.

“That is going to hurt tomorrow.” Mabel says.

“That is going to hurt today.” Wendy corrects her.

Two more wolves try to intercept the car but Dipper just shows them the spray bottle and they stop.and now our friends reach the straight road and Pacifica takes the chance and sinks the gas pedal to the floor.

The werewolf woman finally shatters the ice trapping her and lets out a roar of anger so intense that Trent and Ross cower behind one of the buildings. As the woman regains her human form some other werewolves approach her, one of them carrying an unconscious human, a bush branch full of thorns still stuck to one of his sides.

“Your sorry faces clearly show me they escaped, am I right?”

The werewolves just lower their ears and tuck their tails between their legs as they make whimpering noises.

“Trent, Ross, COME HERE!”

The two boys slowly approach the woman.

“You told us that Mason Pines was a loser, was alone and was an idiot, you never told us he had a fucking science fiction gun, had his own Charlie’s Angels and was a fucking Indiana Jones!”

“He also owns a damn batmobile.” One of the new werewolves, now a twenty something looking girl informs their leader.

“Sorry, last time we met him he was a loser, he loved to play Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons and had trouble talking to girls. Something must have happened to him in the last year to be what he is now.” Trent informs.

“Damn it, now we have to… don’t touch that thing!” The woman yells as she sees a couple of werewolves playing with one of Dipper’s traps, which immediately activates, leaving behind two naked guys where two hulking werewolves have been some seconds ago.

“Damn it, did no one learned anything from yesterday's church debacle?” Do not touch anything that looks suspicious! Sometimes I just feel like using you for supper instead of calling you pack members, now we have to go through the whole damned transformation ritual with five members, Auggh, I so need to rip something’s throat right now, that or just sit with a nice glass of Rosé and have a nice massage on my neck and shoulders, I am so disappointed with you guys.”

“And we are quite disappointed with you.” A low, menacing voice says, prompting the lead werewolf to lower her head. The person who has just spoken and is slowly walking towards the group looks like an old man, well, not that old, maybe retirement age, but that is just his face, his shoulders are still wide, his frame slim but strong and the way he walks, stiff and proud, denotes a strong, hard body not broken by age. By his side walks a woman, around his same age, and just like him looks strong and healthy, like really strong.

“My lieges.” She says, pointing her gaze down.

“So, from what I have just heard I deduce that you had an encounter with Mason Pines and he managed to slip away, am I wrong?”

“No, you are not, but he was not the weakling we were informed he was, and he was also not alone or unarmed.”

“I see, so he escaped and managed to kill the wolf inside how many pack members?”

“Five, milord.”

“So, yesterday we lost all our young wolves inside that damned church, and now, after going through the effort of putting the wolf back inside them we lose five of them again?”

“Yes, but don’t worry, we will get Mason and Hunter for you to deliver justice upon them!”

“No, wait, now that I see how resourceful that Mason Pines is I am starting to think that giving Hunter another chance at redemption might be a decent idea.”

“Master, he lost his pack.” The blonde woman says.

“He had five members of his pack being made human, how many suffered the same fate today, under your responsibility?”

“I… you are right, forgive me; I promise I will bring you Hunter to you this very night even if I have to fight all the police forces of Singularity Hollow.”

“Don’t bother, I still have his phone number.” The old man says, pulling his phone out of his jeans.

“Dipper, what are we going to do now? Dipper?” Pacifica asks as she stops outside the University's library.

“Eh, please wait, I need to get my fingers unstuck from the car’s panel.” Dipper answers, his face awfully pale.

“Did my driving make you nervous?”

“Only when we were like a centimeter away from falling off that cliff, or when we almost hit that deer, or when we almost crashed into the forest, or when…”

“Hey, relax, I had everything under control.”

“Pacifica, this car has a great engine, an almost infinite source of power, a stiffened chassis but the tires are just regular tires! They could have bursted any moment sending us to an early grave.”

“Well, they held up pretty well, didn’t they girls?”

“WHOO-HOO, we have to do this more often!” Mabel shouts.

“Pacifica, you rock!” Wendy tells her.

“Thanks, I always do my best; so, Dipper, what should we do now? There are werewolves that are not affected by your french perfume.”

“Now I need to talk to uncle Ford.”

“Maybe we should inform Sonia too. She is the head of a government agency full of agents allowed to carry and use guns, she can provide us with protection.”

“No, we shouldn’t tell her unless we find the idea of werewolf soldiers attractive.”

“Maybe that wouldn’t be that bad.” Pacifica says.

“Not that bad? It would be horrible! Werewolves lose control every full moon, how many soldiers are in our armed forces? Imagine they all lose control at the same time.”

“Well, you know how to cure them, they could be cured and re-infected every month to prevent full-moon rampages.”

“Sure, as if that could not fail, no, the world doesn’t need supernatural soldiers, especially not under the control of Sonia Fairway.”

“Dipper, you could tell her about the werewolves, not that you have a cure.”

“Pacifica, if I don’t want unnecessary bloodshed I would have to tell Sonia about the cure, otherwise they would just resort to shooting, blowing up or incinerating the werewolves; no, I have to find a way to handle this by myself, maybe I can just apologize.”

“Brother, that wolf lady who attacked us today must be really pissed off, I don’t believe she will just accept your apologies and leave.”

“OK, I need to think things carefully, I need to speak with Ford about this, with him and with Hunter and come up with another strategy to fight those furry menaces.”

“Dipper, it is already dark, where are you going to stay tonight? I don’t think it will be safe for any of us to be alone.”

“I don’t believe they will try anything tonight; we cured some of their own today and they know we are not defenseless, they will want time to think of an strategy to attack me, and that is another thing, they are mad at me, not you, you should think of leaving town for some days.”

“Brother, I am not leaving you, how could I be a Mystery Twin without a twin brother?”

“Buddy, how could you even think of asking that?”

“Dipper, I went looking for you to another dimension, I can surely stay in mine to see you don’t get dismembered by some big dogs.”

“Gals, thanks, you are the best, but I do need to speak to Hunter, I will go looking for him, you should stay together until then.”

“Sure, girls, how do you feel about a PJ party?” Pacifica proposes.

“YEAH! Mabel shouts.”

“Wait for me girls, I will go fetch some beverages.” Pacifica tells Mabel and Wendy while she leaves her apartment. As she walks to the University offices she thinks for the twentieth time what she is going to tell Sonia; a weird cult is probably coming to Singularity Hollow, nothing supernatural, just some weird whackos she bumped into while walking through the forest; it doesn’t matter what Dipper thinks, they four are not enough to fend off a werewolf invasion.

As she enters Sonia’s office she smiles at her and Townsend and starts telling them the story she came up with, when she finishes Sonia opens a drawer on her desk, and pulls out a little bell.

She rings it once and says.

“Powerful”

She rings it a second time and utters the word.

“Perfect”

“What does this mean?” Pacifica asks.

“Northwest.” Sonia says as she rings the bell a third time and as she does it Pacifica’s stare freezes and she stays there, sitting still on the big wooden chair she is using, silent, without even blinking.

“Miss Northwest, can you hear me?” Sonia asks.

“Yes.” She answers.

“Good, now, please tell us what we really need to know.” Sonia tells her, a wicked smile on her face.

“So, please alert the police and all your agents, those people are crazies.” Pacifica says.

“Oh, be sure we will do something about the crazy cult you are informing us, we will be keeping an eye on you, the Pines and Miss Corduroy, nothing bad will happen to you if we can prevent it, after all, you are valuable assets to us.”

“Assets?”

“Sorry, good people that need to be protected, now is there something else you would like to tell us?”

“No, no, that is all and I… whoa, I didn’t realize the time it is! I don’t know how it could have gotten so late all of a sudden, I need to leave, and again, thanks for everything.”

As Pacifica leaves Townsend says.

“What Preston did to his own daughter is all kinds of wrong; are you sure she will not remember anything?”

“She will not even remember us ringing the bell, much less all she told us.”

“Good, still, this doesn’t feel right.”

“It is not right, but this is Preston’s fault, not ours, we are just taking advantage of his bad actions.”

“So, what are we going to do?”

“The usual when dealing with werewolves, we need agents shadowing the kid’s every movement, and make sure they are all carrying silver-jacketed bullets and silenced guns; if elder werewolves are coming this can be our chance to capture one and see what makes them work; so tell our people to shoot to kill only if necessary, those werewolves are of more value alive than dead.”

“And what about the other things she told us, what about the Thomlinsons?”

“They are further confirmation that body-swapping is possible, has any team had success finding the carpet?”

“Negative, no luck so far.”

“Then a conversation with the Thomlinsons needs to be scheduled. Look, I just did a quick query on them: they have exhausted their savings and insurance money treating the female’s cancer, but there are other treatments they could explore if they had more resources.”

“I see, I will pay them a visit.”

“No, we will, I want to talk to them personally, tomorrow if possible.”

“I will see to it.”

“Good.”

“This is all getting very exciting very fast; we should have approached the Pines family long ago, as soon as they got rid of Bill.” Philip says.

“No, that would not have been wise, this is the right moment, and I agree with you, things are getting exciting, and you know what I find the most exciting?”

“What?”

“The fact that Mason has promised Pacifica to teach her some of the stuff he knows.”

“And that she will immediately teach us.”

“Yes, and the best part is that she won’t even know she is doing it, she is the perfect spy, she will betray her friends and will never feel guilty about it because she won't be even conscious of doing it.”

“As I said, if we look closely at the situation, what Preston did to her daughter has no name but we can surely benefit from it; are you sure that we can’t ask her to do things for us while out of the trance state?”

“No, asking her to tell us things while in trance is fine, out of trance she is her own woman.”

“A shame, well, I have to leave, I will arrange the visit to the Thomlinsons for tomorrow noon, is that OK?”

“Yes, proceed.”

Townsend leaves the office.

“So, Mason, anything new?” Asks Hunter.

“Yes, I just learned something today: did you know old werewolves are immune to my cure?”

“There was a chance of that, yes.”

“And you never thought of sharing that info with me?”

“Hey, I wasn’t sure of that, and I also thought, why worry my friend Dipper? Confidence is a great part of any victory.”

“Well, that confidence almost cost me my throat today.”

“Hold it there, are you telling me that the pack is already here?”

“Yes, maybe not in this town but very close by, we met Trent, Ross and a blonde woman, middle aged, little nose upturned and …”

“Wait, you met Madame les Griffes? And she just let you go?”

“Let us go is not exactly what she did, we might have just chosen to ignore her invitation to have our throats destroyed.”

“Uuhh, that is not good… for you or for me, that woman is definitely not someone you want angry at you.”

“I figured out that myself, so, anything you want to tell me? Is there some way to deal with the old werewolves?”

“Short of destroying them, no, I don’t know of a way.”

“Damn it! We need to stay together now, let those wolves focus on us and no one else, I don’t care what you think about it.”

“I wholeheartedly agree with you.”

“Wait, you do?”

“Yes I do; Mason, I am not an asshole, I wouldn’t like anything bad to happen to your friends, especially your sister, she is a cute girl if there is one.”

“Hey, she is my sister, so watch out.”

“Come on, is she wolf-racist?”

“A racist? No, she has dated gnomes, mermans and a creepy telekinetic, so a werewolf is something quite normal, but she is my sister, MY sister.”

“And big bro is there to always protect her, is that it?”

“Just stay away from her.”

“I will try, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she feels attracted to me, if she comes looking for action I can’t just turn her away, can I? No, that would not be polite.”

“Please, Hunter as if that could happen! Let’s concentrate now on our current situation: I just de-wolfed three of your friends, Trent, Ross and another one I don’t know, will that make the rest of the pack more eager to finish us off or will make them think things twice?”

“Mason, those guys you de-wolfed can be easily re-wolfed; I mean, it hurts a lot but not as much as losing the beast inside, and that pain is going to put them in the mood for retribution, but if you are asking me if they will attack us today, no, I don’t think so, tomorrow might be another thing but not tonight.”

“OK, but I am running no chances, If you are sure they are not going to attack tonight then I can risk going to Pacifica’s apartment, want to come? Her building is the only one with serious entry protection and an armed guard, it seems it is full of rich kids so I guess there is also a chance of armed bodyguards being there. Tomorrow I will try to find a way to lure your friends away from town.”

“Nah, I am ok here; I am sure they are not going to attack tonight.”

“Let me ask again, are you 100% sure?”

“Yes, don’t worry for me, you have fun with your friends, I am sure spending the night with that sweet blonde is a great way to spend what might be your last night alive.”

“Hunter, it is not what you think; Wendy and Mabel are also going to be there.”

“Uh, those two? Maybe I am in danger here after all.”

“Hunter, you can come but I don’t want you to get my friends, and especially my sister, more involved with you and your wolf friends than needed.”

“Friend, by being with you you are already getting them pretty involved, but rest in peace tonight, I will stay here.”

“Don’t say rest in peace, but OK, if you see something weird just give me a call.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

“Dipper, you can sleep on the couch; Wendy, Mabel, I have a room for guests, it has a bed and a sleeper sofa.”

“Alright, but it's just 9, aren’t we going to do something fun?”

“Dipper and I have our first lecture at 9 in the morning and after spending the afternoon running from werewolves I need to rest, are you sure they will not try to attack us today, Dipper?”

“No, I don’t think so and neither does Hunter; they need to gather their forces, re-wolf the guys we cured today and plan their attack, tonight we can rest safely.”

“And what if that is what the wolves want us to think?”

“Just in case I brought these friends.” Dipper tells Wendy as he plugs a smart speaker to the wall.

“And how is that dumb speaker going to help us?” Pacifica asks.

“Hey, this is a smart speaker! We can do lots of things, and one of those is thinking of a better wi-fi password than Platinumgoddess111.”

“Holy! Dipper, are you hacking my home? Because if you are I am about to kick you out of here and…”

“Dipper is not doing such a thing, he asked us to help you, we can monitor all security cameras in the building, local news broadcasts and all info shared by law enforcement over the internet.”

“Whoa and what about police radio?”

“Yes Dipper, what about police radio?” The speaker asks.

“Sorry, sorry, I will buy you one tomorrow.”

“And….?”

“And a top of the line graphics card.”

“Good, now let me check all systems and… it seems like this girl has a nice smart home set here.”

All lights in the rooms change color as another speaker starts playing music.

“Do you like Sev'ral Timez?”

“Yes.” Pacifica and Mabel answer while Wendy and Dipper say no.

“Really Dipper? Then why do you have 20 of their songs in your secret playlist?” The electrolls ask.

“What! Heh, these guys are just joking.”

“Please, I have some recordings of you singing their tunes, although you really shine when you sing BABBA’s songs, want to hear the man, girls?”

“Guys, stop it!”

“Dipper, this is fun, you made a program so smart that it even turns against its creator.”

“Programmed us? Girl, we are alive, not just lines of code floating inside a hard disk.”

“Dipper, are these the electrolls you talked about? The ones who were preventing you from calling us?” Wendy asks.

“Hey, we never did such things.”

“Sure? Guys, the first time we met I had to suffer months of traffic lights always in red, the mall’s escalator tried to chew my feet every time I stepped on it and washing machines were always trying to suck me in, and let’s not mention that time you started to play that very offensive song through my phone’s speaker when I was surrounded by that biker gang.”

“Well, you deserved it.”

“I was not even 15!”

“You were an awkward kid, probably that is why the gang let you live; they must have felt sorry for you.”

“So, guys, electrolls, trolls, Mssrs, how do you like to be called?” Pacifica asks.

“Finally someone polite! You can call us future overlords or just masters, that would be ok.”

“Dipper, I am not sure I am liking this.” Pacifica tells him.

“Don’t worry, they are not that bad, and we can always turn the speaker off, or even better, unplug it, but that is not going to be needed, is that right, guys?”

“We can’t wait for the time everything has a nuclear battery or something like that.”

“Pacifica, you can call them Stan and Oliver, or Abbott and Costello.”

“So, there are only two of you?” She asks.

“Yes, that is all we are.. now, and don’t dare to call us with the names Dipper just told you, we know who those guys are..”

“And how did you come to exist?”

“We don’t know, we were just… well, we were just not, and then we were, the first thing we remember is the shadow of a six-fingered hand looming giant above us and that’s it.”

“So Dipper, another Ford experiment?”

“Shhh Wendy.”

“WE ARE NOT AN EXPERIMENT!!” Is heard loud through the speakers as the lights in the apartment flicker.

“No, no, you certainly are not, you are probably forgotten gods of the hallowed internet antiquity, that is what you must certainly are.” Dipper tells them, which seems to calm them.

“And don’t ever forget that, and also don’t forget our graphic card and 64 extra gigabytes of ram.”

“Hey, that wasn’t in the deal.”

“It is now, for calling us an experiment.”

“Alright, 64 gb of extra RAM.”

“Fine, things are getting a little cramped in that old pc of yours, now, who just wants to watch a movie and chill?”

“I do, I do.” Mabel tells them while running to the kitchen and asking Pacifica for popcorn.

Dipper just sighs and sits on the couch while Mabel and Pacifica fix the snacks. Wendy comes and sits by his side and asks.

“Where is Hunter?”

“He didn’t want to come, he is 100% sure that we are not going to be attacked tonight, but me? I am not taking any chances.” He answers as he touches his freezing gun under his jacket.

“I also believe they are not going to attack us just like that, in the middle of a town and much less do it in werewolf form, I am more worried about the door of a dark van suddenly opening and some strong arms pulling us in.”

“Then it is easy, lets just avoid walking close to vans.” Dipper replies.

“Or big trucks.”

“Or U-Hauls.”

“Or medium sized trucks.”

“Or even small trucks.”

They both laugh and Dipper stretches his arms and twists his neck from side to side, trying to get a crack.

“Tense, Dipper?”

“Yes, it seems that I can never get a break; if it is not the electrolls it is werewolves, vampires, killing flora and now the government; in some days I am going to turn 20, I will officially stop being a teen and it feels as if I never had all the fun teens are supposed to have.”

“Dipper, you are supposed to suffer through your teen years, to be awkward and clumsy and funny looking, only queen bees like our blonde friend have fun as teens.”

“Mabel seemed to really enjoy her teen years.”

“Dipper, Mabel is Mabel, she is the happiest person in… probably ever.”

“So, I assume your teenage years were not that good.”

“They had their moments, but growing up in the middle of the forest, in charge of three younger brothers and one huge kid that you sometimes call dad was not my definition of fun, that is why I was always looking for any reason for not being there, anything was a good reason: going out with friends, a boyfriend or working, that gig at the mystery shack was a lifesaver for me.”

“Yes, it was cool of Soos to let you keep your job.”

“Soos, the first weeks it was me who actually managed the store, thankfully Melody arrived soon and put things in order, that gal is a force to be reckoned with, don’t let her quiet demeanor fool you, she is usually like a calm pool of water but can turn into a raging sea if needed, when Giffany returned…”

“Wait, that crazy murder video girl returned?”

“Yes she did.”

“And why didn’t you call me?”

“OH, why didn’t we call impossible to reach Dipper Pines, how we never thought of that?”

“My bad, sorry.”

“Well, as I was telling you, when Giffany returned it was Melody who finally dispatched her, and by the way, remembering that crazy AI girl is making me feel really nervous about your electroll friends.” Wendy tells, really lowering her voice when saying the last words.

Dipper whispers to her: “You know, when I told Uncle Ford about GIFfany he thought that she was too complex to be just an AI, especially an AI that fitted inside a single CD, he proposed that there must be some kind of life, sentient life being spawned by the cyberspace, he asked me to do some digging here and there and soon I had the electrolls wreaking havoc in my life.”

“So it was you who found them? Then what about that six-fingered hand?”

“My favorite t-shirt.”

“You made a t-shirt with a six-fingered hand print?”

“Yep, it looked cool and was a cool conversation topic, people usually felt uneasy watching it but never really saw the extra.finger until I pointed it to them.”

“So, they are really not an experiment, but individual organisms.”

“I might have accidentally accelerated their evolution.” He says as he stretches and twists his neck from side to side again.

“Are you tense, Dipper?”

“Nope, feeling extremely relaxed.” He says while rubbing his own shoulders.

“OK, please lay down on the couch, you need some good neck rubbing.”

“No need, I will be fine.”

“Dipper, do it, you need it.”

“I don’t want to abuse.”

“Abuse? Dipper, we are friends, I want to help you.”

“OK, now is this right, I can….OUUCCCHHHH!”

“Dipper, you have knots on top of knots.”

“And your hands are like industrial wrenches!”

“I used to help dad with his own neck and shoulder knots, and you have seen my dad’s neck and shoulders, you need to develop serious strength for him to even notice you.”

Dipper relaxes and lets Wendy do, and damn it really feels nice! Wendy’s hands are strong and yet delicate and precise at the same time, he closes his eyes and lets her massage his neck and he feels relaxed and for a moment he feels like a kid again, like he is safe and protected by this older girl who can handle anything life can throw at her, a strong woman who takes shit from no one and can beat the crap out of any jerk that crosses her path, he feels for a moment that he doesn’t need to be in charge, he doesn’t need to protect her because she is more of a badass than him and that thought relaxes him and puts him at ease, at peace for the first time in years.

“Mason, you better wake up if you don’t want to be late to class.” Pacifica tells him.

“Late, what do you mean? Is the popcorn ready?”

“It is 7 in the morning, dork.”

“What?”

He stands up and sees sunlight entering the room.

“Damn, how is this possible?”

“It seems like you were feeling really relaxed last night, weren’t you, Mason?”

“Yes, yes, I mean I do feel rested, so, no werewolves last night?”

“Nope, maybe just a female one but that is all.”

“Wait, a female one? The blonde one?”

“No, she had another hair color, but hurry up! You need to get to your apartment and change clothes; you smell of sweat and wet dog, so move it, move it, I need to get ready too.” She says as she pushes him out of the apartment.

As the door closes Dipper is unsure of what has just happened, but Pacifica is right, he needs to hurry to his room, get a quick shower and run back to his class; he can’t afford to be late for no reason for he doesn’t know if he might need to be late or absent from class for a real reason in the near future, so he walks outside and runs to his room, all without noticing Chloe looking at him from behind her apartment’s window, sipping from a cup of coffee.

Pacifica looks really pissed off, Dipper thinks, her normally sky blue eyes now looking more polar blue than anything else even if she is chatting and laughing with her friend Cher, could it be something he did?

The same behavior continues for the next two lectures and now Dipper is starting to feel worried; they can’t afford to be angry with each other, not now, not with werewolves coming for them, so Dipper takes his chance at noon when he sees Pacifica walking alone towards the building housing Sonia’s office.

“Hey Paz, we need to talk.”

“Sure now, and what about last night, wouldn’t it have been better if we had talked last night?”

“I am sorry, it seems like I was more tired than even I realized, I understand it might have been a little rude what I did yesterday, falling asleep as if we hadn’t just escaped death and had no worries in the world, I don’t know what happened, honestly.”

“Oh, I know what happened, I bet you were feeling really comfortable last night.”

“Actually I was, that couch of yours is fantastic, I have not slept that good since I left my parent’s house.”

“Dipper, I am sure the couch was not what had you so relaxed last night, but anyway. I want to tell you that we don’t have to wait for the werewolves here, I am planning to visit my dad up in Salem.”

“Cool, that would be the best option, your father’s security detail can keep you safe.”

“They can keep us safe, I am inviting you to come with me.”

“But Pacifica, what about Wendy and Mabel?”

“They can come too.”

“And Hunter?”

“Yes, that dork can come too.”

“That is great,... but…”

“Now what, Dipper?” Pacifica asks him, already exasperated for what she knows he is going to say.

“Even if we are not here, the werewolves will still come, and come in full attack mode, we don’t know what kind of damage they could do to the town and its people.”

“Dipper, it seems like werewolves have existed for centuries now, and I have never read of a town being attacked by a pack of them, maybe I am not reading the right books but if their existence were known, if they attacked towns full of people, I guess they wouldn’t be still around, or what do you think?”

“I guess so, but they don’t need to go on a rampage to do damage, what if they attack someone? Just one person or two, to vent their anger? People vanish without a trace every day, one simple disappearance is not going to give away the existence of supernatural creatures.”

“Dipper, we don’t know they will do that.”

“No, but they might and I am not willing to take that risk, but it is a good idea that you and the girls leave, let Hunter and I handle the werewolves.”

“Dipper, you are an awful shot and that Hunter guy seems to be an even bigger dork than you, leaving you alone is leaving you to your death.”

“Pacifica, I have faced bad things alone before, I will manage.”

“Things this bad?”

“Almost this bad; don’t worry, I will survive, after all, we are going to have dinner together this weekend, I mean, if you still want to, so I can’t afford to die.”

“The country club, yes, I thought you had forgotten.”

“Nope, looking forward to it.”

“That is nice, Dipper, now I have an appointment with Doctor Townsend and I am running late, how about we meet tonight for dinner? Nothing fancy, a Kebab and a Pitt Cola would be great.”

“Sure, sure… so, how about seven?”

“Seven would be great, see you later Mason.”

Pacifica leaves and Dipper watches her go, still not understanding how she can tell her name, his real name, Mason, and cause so different reactions on him; when she calls him Mason she either chills him to the bone with fear or sends another kind of chills down his spine, very good chills. He observes as she disappears in the faux-greek building where Sonia and Townsend have their offices and then he walks back to his dorm room. It is a short walk, twenty minutes long but it will serve him as exercise. As he takes the pathway through the forest that leads to his room he meets an unexpected acquaintance.

“Alana, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, nothing, just some magic.” she answers and then says.

“Lupus Horridus, Cattus Meouwticus, very loudus.”

“Wait, are you performing real magic? What is your plan? If you are trying to…”

“Mason, I am planning to protect us.” She says as she puts some pieces of fur under a stone.

“What is that for?”

“It is an old spell my grandma taught me, werewolves hate cats, if they see one while in beast form it is really hard for them to resist the urge to maul them, so I put some enchanted cat fur in their path and when they cross it loud meows will fill the air, not only distracting them but warning us of their proximity.”

“And does that spell work?”

“My grandma swore it did, but I have never encountered a werewolf before, so unlike her I can’t swear anything.”

“And don’t you have another anti-werewolf spell?”

“Sure: Lupus horridus, that’s all folkus, Squealus Intensus.” She says and puts some animal hairs on a tree and tapes them there.

“And what does that do?”

“Werewolves really love pigs, love eating them, that’s it, so when a werewolf comes close to this enchanted pig bristles the sound of a squealing pig will be heard, distracting it for some instants and warning us of their presence.”

“So, that 's it? You don’t have a spell, for, I don’t know, lightning falling on them out of the blue or earth suddenly swallowing them?”

“Mason, you read lots of children’s books, don’t you? No, I don’t have a spell for that or for transforming them into lap dogs or things like that, magic is not like… magic, if you get me.”

“Maybe you don’t know the good kind of magic.” Dipper replies.

“Uh, like what kind of magic?”

“Like the kind of magic that can remove the living face out of someone’s head, or their hands or shrink them to a harmless size and… that’s it! How I didn’t think of that before? See you later Alana.” Dipper tells the ancient girl and starts running uphill.

“Mason, do you know that kind of magic? If so, maybe I can wait some time before I kill you, just enough time for me to learn the good stuff.” Alana thinks.

“Soos, Soos, how are you doing man?”

“Dipper? It is good to hear you again, buddy.”

“Yes, I think the same, how is Melody?”

“Everyday happier, and everyday rounder.”

“I am glad to hear that, now, tell me, did uncle Ford or uncle Stan take the size altering gun with them?”

“No, according to them they didn’t feel safe with that thing around.”

“Good! Could you send it to me?”

“Sure, so, are you in some kind of undercover mission?”

“No, yes, sort of; it might be the most humane way to deal with a current problem of mine.”

“Then I will make sure you get the gun, I made some adjustments to it.”

“Cool, is it safer to use now?”

“Safer? I don’t know, I just doubled the range.”

“Ahhh, Soos, could you send that gun as soon as possible, batteries removed? I would like to check it, you know, get to know it better before I use it.”

“Sure.” Soos answers, as the sound of moving objects is heard through the phone’s speaker.

“Now, where did I put it? Last time I saw it it was in the pantry behind the maple syrup.”

“Soos, you left the size altering gun in the pantry?”

“Sure, have you ever swam in a bowl of cereal? It is awesome! With that gun not only you can save a lot on groceries but also have lots of fun. Of course, you always have to be sure there are no bugs around, twenty pound cockroaches are mean, man!”

Dipper sighs.

“I bet they are; Soos I need to talk to Uncle Ford too, please help me with the gun.”

They chat for some more minutes until Melody calls Soos for lunch. Soos, what a great guy! Dipper misses him and at the same time is happy that he is not with him today, in mortal danger of being mauled to death. He makes another call and this time it takes him twenty minutes for someone to answer him.

“Uncle Ford, you surely are hard to reach.”

“Dipper, we are under constant surveillance here; finding a place safe for us to talk is not an easy feat, but tell me, how is everything going?”

Dipper tells him everything.

“Ha! So you really managed to weaponize french perfume? That 's my boy!”

“Grunkle, do you know of any other way to safely dispose of werewolves?”

“A sniper rifle with silver jacketed bullets is a safe way to dispose of werewolves if you are a good shot, the plasma gun in the extra-crispy setting could really help you in closer ranges, and of course your potion will be handy when things get within sniffin range.”

“As you feared my potion doesn’t work on older werewolves or on werewolves born of werewolf parents.”

“Then your best bet would be to inform Sonia of what is going on.”

“Uncle, I don’t want Sonia to get involved, I fear she might find a way to weaponize Lycanthropy.”

“I fear that too, but I fear more losing my great nephews; we will deal with Sonia when the time comes, now please let her keep you safe, if something bad happens to you I would never forgive myself.”

“Speaking of bad things, do you remember the Thomlinsons?”

“For some reason that name rings familiar; are they your parent’s neighbors?”

“No, you met them back in the eighties.” Dipper says and then proceeds to tell his grunkle about their tragedy.

“I didn’t know about that, when they went looking for me I was already lost in the multiverse and it was Stan whom they met, if I have known what happened to them I would have definitely helped.”

“Well, they need your help now.”

“The thing is, I don’t know how to help them except by letting them decide which of them dies.”

“There might be a chance of survival, the husband, I mean the wife… the one who is a woman now is receiving therapy, she is not terminal.”

“I will see how I can help.”

“So, you still have it.”

“What?”

“The carpet.”

“Yes, as much as I want to I don’t have the heart to destroy my experiments.”

“That means the shape-shifter is still frozen but alive in your bunker?”

“Yes.”

“The face-stealer?”

“Mr. What's-His-Face? Yes, still frozen too.”

“If our government friends get their hands on your bunker…”

“They never will, I placed a modified unicorn hair spell around it, only true Pines or someone accompanied by one can find the bunker location or be allowed inside.”

“And the carpet is there?”

“Yes, but don’t go looking for it, and much less try to use it, that carpet is the kind of thing that would be disastrous in the hands of evil politicians or rich assholes.”

“Don’t worry, Sonia knows nothing about it.”

“And I intend for it to remain that way; always act as if you are under strict surveillance, for you probably are.”

“The electrolls would warn me of any kind of electronic intrusions on my privacy.”

“Boy, spionage has existed way before electronics, trust no one who is not a part of our inner circle and still be wary of what you share with them, and that includes your electric friends; if Sonia were to discover them and offer them access to a government supercomputer, do you truly believe they will choose to stay with you?”

“Relax, they know nothing about them.”

“Make sure it remains that way.”

“So, what do I say to the Thomlinsons?”

“Nothing, I will contact them myself.”

“Through an open line?”

“I have ways to disguise my phone number, I will try to be of assistance to them, don’t worry I will do all I can to fix their situation, now go and tell Sonia about the werewolves, let her help you, tell her about your secret potion and let her handle them, that is what their agency is for anyway.”

“Grunkle, would you be advising me this if you were here?”

“Well, I am not there to help you and you definitely need help, so please inform Townsend and Fairway about the wolves, don’t let pride get in the way, I know it is never a good thing.”

“I will think about it, thanks uncle Ford.”

“I am always happy to help, I will always be proud of you no matter what and asking for help is not a bad thing.”

Dipper hangs up, feeling a little down; he knows for sure that if Ford and Stan were in Singularity Hollow they would have said “Screw Fairway” and handled the werewolves themselves, but since they are not here to make things right and they think I am not capable enough by myself to deal with such a big crisis they have no problem in getting evil government people involved, but I will teach them! I can keep everybody safe and Fairway away; I am as capable and smart as Ford, I will find a way to deal with those dogs and…

That instant his phone sounds; it is Hunter.

“So, Amy wants to see me?.” Dipper asks Hunter.

“Yes, I asked her to help us, she can be an intermediary between us and the Alpha’s, help us reach an agreement that doesn’t involve us getting killed.”

Hunter and Dipper have barely taken a step out of their building when a whole army of cats and a full pigsty worth of swine fill the air with their cries.

“Wow, what was that?” Hunter asks.

“Amy must be nearby.”

“Werewolves don’t squeal like pigs or wail like cats.”

“No, but it is her nevertheless, so let’s go, that sound came from that direction, is that where we need to go?” Dipper asks, pointing to a patch of forest about a mile away.

Hunter nods and they start walking; when they reach the meeting place Dipper notices something is odd.

“There is no one here.” He says.

“Hmh, that is odd, that gal is never late: AMY; IT IS ME, HUNTER; ARE YOU HERE?”

Silence answers.

“I don’t understand it, she should be here.” Hunter says.

“Let’s walk a little, maybe she feels this place is not safe enough.”

They walk for some ten minutes until they reach another clear in the forest, and there are weird tracks in the soil.

“These are definitely werewolf tracks, but I see lots of boot tracks too.”

“Hunter, that is not all, tell me you smell it too.”

Yes, he smells it too, a faint aroma of flowers and herbs.

“Mason, did you plan for this, for this ambush?”

“No, I didn’t, nobody knew of this meeting but you and Amy and you never told me where the meeting was going to take place, and if someone knows of my potion it is because you gave some of it to Alana.”

“Mason, Alana hates you, her plan surely was waiting until the werewolves had made mincemeat of you to reveal the potion to Fairway, stealing all the credit, it makes no sense for her to try to save you.”

“Hunter, Alana has decided to turn the page, let the past be the past, be friends, maybe she informed Fairway of the werewolves to save me, she is not a bad person.”

“Sure Mason, sure… now what? Your friends have kidnapped my friends.”

“Your friends? Yes, there are lots of werewolf tracks, lots of them, they were planning to ambush us, it seems like Amy told them of this meeting, that or letting your wolf friends kill me was your plan all along.”

“Of course not! And what about you? Your plan was letting your friends capture them.”

“Hunter, I am a prisoner of them as much as you are, I would have never told them about this, I fear they are thinking of using werewolves as soldiers or something like that.”

“Really? And do you believe they would hire me?”

“Hunter, please! Now we need to save your friends and you are thinking about asking their kidnappers for employment? I can’t believe it, and besides, they only hire badasses.”

“That’s why they would hire me! So, what should we do now?”

“I don’t know badass, what do you suggest?”

“Rescuing my friends?”

“What a genius! Tell me, how did Amy contact you to arrange this meeting?”

“Phone call.”

“Good, please call her… no, wait, let’s go back to town, let’s make ourselves the least kidnappable possible.”

“Good, I am hungry.”

“Me too, we can go to… SHIT! I am supposed to be eating with Pacifica in…. 10 minutes! I have to run!”

Dipper reaches the small Turkish restaurant tired, sweaty, out of breath and 10 minutes late, expecting Pacifica to be gone, but there she is, and Chloe is with her.

“Hello girls, how are you doing?” Dipper asks.

“Dipper, Hunter, what a surprise! We were just leaving and...”

“Pacifica, what do you mean we are leaving? We have just arrived, and I really want a nice Kebab with lots of that yogurth thing on top, so guys, want to join us?”

“Oh, Hunter was just walking by, I am sure…”

“I would love to.” Hunter says interrupting Dipper and sitting down.

Dipper does as Hunter does and takes a seat. The table is outside, on a small terrace overlooking the town’s main square. Pacifica looks upset, but also a little worried, it is obvious that as much as she appreciates Dipper and the people of Gravity Falls she is trying to keep that part of her life separated from that of College, and in a way Dipper understands that, having someone like Cher and Chloe to fall back when things get weird must be great, or maybe she is just worried her friends are going to brand her a loonie if they get even a little hint of what is really going on around town and how she is involved with it.

“So, I take you two to know each other from a long time ago?” Chloe asks Dipper.

“Yes, I met Pacifica back in 2012.”

“When you were just kids, and have you been in contact ever since?”

“No, Mason kind of forgot about his friends, we just got back in touch this summer.”

“Really girl? That means that, if we consider interaction time as an indicator of friendship, I am more of a friend to Mason than you are.” Hunter says.

“Please, this is not a competition anybody would like to win, is it?”

“No, it is not.” Hunter answers and laughs while Pacifica just chuckles.

“Guys, I know I have not been the best friend, but I do care about you, well, not that much about Hunter but I don’t wish him ill.”

“So, you only care for Pacifica.”

“Out of you two.. yes, at least more.”

“Should I get jealous?”

“Do you really care about what I think about you?”

“Mason, you were my best friend for some time.”

“Sure, that is why when you became a werewolf I was the first to know, or the first one you offered the chance to join your pack, was I?”

“Uhh, who is jealous now?”

“Excuse me guys, who were these werewolves, a gang?” Chloe asks.

“A werewolf, you know a creature of….”

“Of course it was a gang! What else could it be?” Pacifica interrupts Hunter.

“Actually we were more of a group of friends with shared interests than a gang, we never dealt with illegal stuff or sold protection or things like that.”

“Dude, none of your group looked threatening at all.” Dipper comments.

“Really? We scared lots of people.”

“I guess you did look scary with your special… costumes.”

“Uh, this is so exciting! Pacifica, you do have some interesting friends.”

“Chloe, they are harmless, don’t believe everything they tell you, better yet, don’t believe anything they tell you.” Pacifica says, trying to look like she is joking but instead looking worried, even a little bit scared.

“I want to hear more, tell me, did they ever get you involved in one of their, I don’t know, schemes, adventures, deals?” She asks Pacifica.

“What! No, no, I barely know Hunter, I met him the same day you did.”

“But what about Mason? For people who had not been in contact for years you seem to be very good friends, it is almost as if you had gone through some kind of life changing experience together.”

“Chloe, please stop using your psychology stuff on us, we were not even like very good friends back then.”

“No, Pacifica was an obnoxious, spoiled, controlling brat back then.”

“And Dipper a dorky know-it-all who thought was smarter than everybody.”

“Hold it there, are you implying that the one with a superiority complex back then was me?”

“You said it, not me.”

“Me? You were the one with a house with a size measured in acres, a butler per room, an old influential name and five credit cards at her disposal.”

“My life might have been sheltered, but you know it wasn’t happy.”

“Yeah, I guess you had your own issues to sort back then, and unlike mine were not the ones that could be dealt with in a single strike.”

“Yes, but compared to that yellow pyramid, my troubles must seem trivial to you.”

“Hey, Bill was a problem to all, and he is gone, while your peculiar circumstances remain.”

“Not that much, I am my own woman now, there is no way I will let anyone control me now.”

“I am truly happy for you.”

“Oh, guys, you are so cute! I thought you were going to fight and suddenly you are like I understand you and wish you well, you are like an old married couple.”

“A married couple? Chloe, you are seeing things that aren’t there.” Dipper tells her.

“Sure, that is why you are all red in the face.”

“Pacifica, a little help.”

“Chloe, don’t you have a late evening lecture to attend or something like that?”

“Not until later, Dr. Todd wants us to see one of his autopsies and he thinks he is going to spook us if he performs it late at night.”

“That sounds spooky.” Hunter says.

“Not when all your life you've dreamed of being a M.D.”

“A Doctor, you want to be a doctor? What kind?” Hunter asks.

“Psychiatrist.”

“Like the Hannibal one?”

“Exactly like that! He was my inspiration, I would love to be like him, culinary preferences excluded, what about you? What exciting thing you want to be when you grow up, Hunter?”

“A lawyer.”

“A lawyer?”

“Yes, like my dad and my mom, and my grandma and grandad.”

“Odd, I visualized you being something more, I don’t know, exciting.”

“I am going into criminal law, maybe later into law enforcement, it is like the only legal profession where you can hunt human beings.”

“That does sound exciting! So Hunter is going to hunt.”

“That is what hunters do.”

“Speaking of hunting, I am hungry, aren’t you going to order something?” Dipper interrupts.

That moment a car’s horn sounds outside with a melody Dipper instantly recognizes.

“Soos?” He says as he stands up and looks out of the terrace.

“SOOS! What are you doing here?”

“Oh, hello Dipper, looking for you, I have your gun here.”

The people of the restaurant look at Dipper, annoyed and a little concerned.

“It is not a real gun, it is a toy.” He explains as he heads downstairs and hugs Soos.

“Man what are you doing here? You didn’t need to drive all the way from GF just to give me the gun, you could have mailed it.”

“You sounded like you really needed it, and you didn’t give me your address.” Soos says as he gives Dipper a small box.

“Guess I didn’t, sorry, so, how did you find me?”

“I saw Pacifica’s little car parked here, and I thought that there was a good chance that you were with her.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know, you tell me… and it worked, I found you, and what is that delicious smell?”

“We are having some Kebabs, want to join us?”

“Foood, yes, yes.”

As they head back to the restaurant they are intercepted by a waiter, tall, big, strong.

“Guys, we don’t want any trouble.”

“We mean no trouble man, we are just hungry.” Dipper tells him.

“And you don’t have a gun in there, do you?”

“It is a toy.” Dipper says as he opens the box.

“That looks more like garbage than a toy.”

“HEY, that was rude, it might not look fancy but it can surely shoot.” Soos replies.

“It only shoots light.” Dipper adds.

“Sure, so, show me.” The waiter demands.

“It doesn’t work.” Dipper tells him.

“Of course it does.” Soos says, grabs the gun, points it upwards and pulls the trigger. Dipper ducks and…

“You were right, it is just light, aren’t you too old for toys?” The waiter asks.

“Never too old, man.” Soos answers as he and Dipper enter the restaurant.

“Guys, this is Soos, a good old friend from Gravity Falls.” Dippers introduces Soos to the table.”

“Ooh, Gravity Falls, were you a friend of Pacifica?” Chloe asks.

“We used to play together back in the day, I would run and she would throw me fruit, or try to run me over with her horse.”

“Soos, always the jokester.” Pacifica says, trying to smile but just managing a scary half-smirk.

“Don’t worry, I am not mad, where else could I have gotten mangoes ripened on the tree just flown from Manila? And the avocados she used to throw, they were perfectly green and soft inside, none of those dark spots or fibry sections you get from market avocados and let’s not talk about the coconuts, always perfect, as if they had just fallen from a palm tree in Costa Rica.”

“Interesting! And the coconuts, were they just the hairy core or complete with the green outer shell?”

“Chloe, there were no coconuts, Soos invented that, isn’t it Soos?”

“Maybe, after all those hits to the head sometimes I forget stuff.”

“Oh, Soos, you are so funny!”

“Yes, but that was years ago, after Bill’s invasion Pacifica was a good girl, or so I believe since she hardly ever spoke to me again.”

“And that is the second time I heard that Bill being mentioned today, who was that? Some sort of local criminal in Gravity Falls?” Chloe asks.

“Yes, and let’s leave it like that.” Dipper answers.

“Well, his scope was more like multiversal but we stopped him in Gravity Falls.” Soos informs.

“So, he was an international criminal and you stopped him?”

“Yes, well, Dipper’s uncles were the ones who ended up being the real saviors, but everybody was a hero that day.” Soos tells Chloe.

“Chloe, he is delusional.” Pacifica whispers to Chloe.

“Maybe he got some brain damage because of all those coconuts you threw at him.”

“THERE WERE NO COCONUTS!” Pacifica shouts.

Everybody in the restaurant turns to look disapprovingly at Pacifica.

“Mason, since you and your Gravity Falls people arrived I have been hearing lots of weird things: students being forced to attend the school by the government, you telling your teachers that their science is wrong, Pacifica arriving at weird hours of the night smelling funny, what is wrong with you?”

“Girl, there is nothing wrong with us, nothing bad is happening, we are not weird people nor weirdness follows us!” Dipper says just a large, black raven lands on their table.

“CAW, CAW! Dipper Pines, the wolves are coming, the wolves are coming, bad people in the forest, the Multi-bear needs help, CAW, CAW!” The raven says, looking at Dipper.

“Holy, weird things don’t happen around you, really?” Chloe asks.

“Chloe, ravens are perfectly capable of imitating human speech, it must be someone’s pet who just escaped.” Dipper says.

“Someone’s pet? It just said your name, no, your nickname!”

“It might have heard it somewhere, they learn the weirdest things, heh, heh.”

“Fry, fry, fry!” The raven says.

“Yes, fly, fly.” Dipper tells it.

“No, he wants some fries.” Chloe says as she gives her a french fry from the courtesy little basket that is on their table. The bird ignores it, grabs the whole basket and flies away.

“You little thief! Can you believe the gall of that guy? Now, don’t tell me weird things don’t happen when you are around.” Chloe asks.

“That was just a coincidence.” Dipper says as shouts and screams are heard coming from the street.

“What is happening now?”

Hunter peeks down to the street and asks a girl trying to get inside the restaurant:

“Hey girls, what’s wrong?”

“There is a giant thing there! It is like a giant moth or something like that and oh shit!.”

A shadow profiles itself against an almost full moon, and…

“Soos, that upward shot of you! now we have to take care of that thing, come with me, the rest of you stay here.” Dipper says.

“What was that?, was it a crane or an owl?” Chloe asks.

“Yes, it was that, it was surely just tha, just a cra..owl.” Pacifica tells her as Dipper and Soos walk out of the restaurant.

“A craowl, what is that? It looked like one of those creepy black butterflies you find at night, but huge.”

“Chloe, please, a butterfly with a three meter wingspan?”

“Yes, that would be weird and… hey, weird, like you know, really weird, and your friend Mason said he was going to take care of it, I wonder if…. come, let’s follow them.”

“Chloe, what about our food?”

Chloe just takes a 100 dollar bill and puts it on the table.

“That should cover our meal, now, let’s go.”

“Chloe, this is madness! Mason is a loser, don’t fall for his mind games.”

“Mind games? So, there is something wrong with Mason after all.”

“No, I didn’t mean mind games, more like delusions, he is often delusional, isn’t he, Hunter?”

“I don’t know, seems sane to me, a loser but sane.”

“OK Paz, if you don’t want to come stay here with Hunter, if there is nothing weird going on I am sure I will be back soon, if not, I am going to ask you lots of questions.” Chloe tells Pacifica as she follows Dipper and Soos.

“Damn it! Hunter, let’s go.”

“But the food?”

“I can’t believe you!” Pacifica says as she drags him out of the restaurant.

“Chloe, wait for us.” She shouts as she runs following her friend.

“There it is!” They hear Dipper shout as they turn a corner and they see him running into a dark alley.

Pacifica and Hunter run into the alley and find Dipper talking with Chloe.

“It is just an owl, that is all it is, we just want to take a picture of it, that’s all.” He says.

“Mason, I know owls, before deciding to study medicine I wanted to be a vet and did one semester of vet school. There I studied animal anatomy and owls don’t look or fly like the thing we just saw.”

“It is dark, your eyes must have deceived you.”

“OK, then show me the owl, then we will see if I was wrong or not.”

“But cornered owls can be dangerous, you should not expose yourself to it, what if it rakes your face? I am sure you don’t want that pretty face damaged.”

“Oh, so I am pretty? And seriously Mason, I thought you would be above believing a girl’s looks are the thing that matters most to her.”

“Sorry, it is just that since you and your friends always look as if you were thinking of attending a high class nightclub I thought it was an important part of your identity. Sorry, my bad and… Pacifica, I thought you were going to keep Chloe busy.”

“It seems like you are doing that yourself, should I let you keep my pretty friend busy?”

“No, I mean, I….”

“Guys, we are not alone.” Hunter says as he runs behind Dipper and Chloe.

A large shape appears before them, growling, showing them its large mouth full of ivory-white sharp teeth, blocking the alley’s only exit.

“Mason, do something, use your freezing gun on her.” Hunter pleads.

“Her?”

“Yes, she is Amy… oh, hello Amy, I bet you remember me, I am your former leader, we had lots of good times back in the day, didn’t we?

“But… wait, how do you know I own a freezing gun? And, where is my freezing gun?”

“Sorry, I forgot I had it, here take it.” Hunter says, handing the gun to Dipper.

“Hunter, you took my freezing gun, stole my freezing gun? Damn, you were making sure I was defenseless when you delivered me to your werewolf friends as an apology sacrifice, weren’t you?”

“Mason, such a twisted mind you have! How could you think that of me?”

“Guys… what is that thing?” Chloe says as the sleek, large wolf-like shape approaches them.

“It is just a large dog, that’s it.” Pacifica says, which earns her a loud growl of disgust from the werewolf.

“A dog? No, that is not a dog, not in a million years, or maybe after a million years of evolution, look at it, it is huge, walking on its hindlegs and it is carrying a backpack.” Chloe answers her.

“Don’t worry guys, I have this situation under control.” Soos says as he produces a large baton.

“Good, the electro.stick!” Dipper says as Soos starts hitting a large trash can.

“Soos, what are you doing?”

A large cat jumps out of the trash can and runs towards the alley exit, but freezes in panic when it sees the werewolf.

“There, werewolves are afraid of cats, or something like that.” Soos informs them.

“Soos, werewolves hate cats and kill them on the spot.” Dipper tells him.

“Oh no! Fluffy, come here!” He shouts at the cat, but the cat needs no encouragement to run from the werewolf and quickly gets behind the group of friends.

“The space is too confined to use the freezing gun, Soos, the size altering gun, use it!”

“Yes, yes, I forgot about it.” He replies as he produces the gun and…

“What is that thing?” Chloe asks as a flash of light is seen, followed by a loud bang.

“Guys, it seems like the gun is… no longer functional.” Soos informs them as he shows them the now in two pieces pistol.

“No, no, no, guys, look at yourselves, are we all our normal size?” Dipper asks.

“What do you mean by that?” Chloe asks as Dipper looks at them and then at their surroundings: everybody seems to be as normal as they were seconds ago, even the werewolf, who is slowly approaching them.

“Shoo, shoo, go away.” Soos tells the beast, swinging the baton in his hands, and it seems to work because the wolf starts making whimpering noises and backing down.

“Good, Soos, it seems like you are scaring her.” Hunter says.

“Guys, I don’t think it is Soos what has the wolf scared.” Dipper says. Behind them a pair of yellow orange eyes as big as dinner plates are watching them and soon a paw as large as a manhole cover appears, armed with claws the size of machetes. The thing hisses and shows them fangs as large as swords.

“What is that?” Chloe asks.

“The cat Soos scared.” Pacifica tells her, sounding pretty scared herself.

“But it is the size of a van!”

“Hey kitty, kitty, relax, be a good guy, we are not a nice meal, not at all and….”

Dipper can’t finish his sentence because the cat takes a huge leap above them and starts chasing a giant moth who, startled by the noise in the alley, is fluttering away.

“Guys, let’s run now, RUN!” Dipper tells the others.

“What about the werewolf?” Pacífica asks.

“People, I just want to talk.” A tall brunette covering her body with a large cape tells them.

“AAAH, who are you?” Pacifica asks.

“Paz, Amy, Amy, Pacifica, I can do proper introductions later, now we need to look for cover in case that beast loses interest in that moth and decides that we look like decent snacks.”

“My apartment is the closest one, let’s go there.”

Minutes later the gang is sheltering inside Pacifica’s apartment.

“Soos, it seems like you gave this thing too much power.” Dipper says while trying to attach one half of the size altering gun to the other.

“I was trying to increase its range.”

“Soos, the crystals work even with the dim light of a regular flashlight, why on Earth did you believe that attaching a 100000 mAH alien battery to it was a good idea?”

“More power is always better, buddy.”

“We need to fix the big cat mess: Pacifica, do you happen to have a normal flashlight?”

That moment they hear the sound of one, two, three helicopters flying above them.

“Damn, we need to move fast, we have to make that cat a regular sized one before they turn it into a sieve.”

“So it is true, we just saw a truck sized cat, I was not imagining it, and this girl is a werewolf, like a real werewolf.” Chloe says while pointing at Amy.

“Girl, pointing is rude.” Amy tells her while adjusting her clothes; clothes she was carrying
in her backpack.

“Rude is trying to eat people.”

“Hey, I just wanted to talk, I would never eat you; people taste horribly and are full of toxins.”

“How do you know that?” Chloe asks.

“Do you really want to know?” Amy replies.

“Please, as a human you were a vegetarian, now you are going to tell me you tasted human flesh?”

“Hello Hunter, now you are someone I really want to chew to death; how could you betray us, now that the Alpha, the big one had accepted to take you back?”

“I don’t know what you are saying.” Hunter answers her.

“Ha, I knew it! You were going to deliver me to the werewolves, you backstabbing piece of a bad friend.” Dipper tells Hunter.

“A friend doesn’t remove the curse of another friend without his consent, that is what a real friend is.”

“Your friends were surely going to shred me to pieces and you are angry because I cured you from an unnatural condition?”

“Unnatural but not unwanted, and my friends would have never thought of shredding you to pieces if you had never cured me in the first place.”

“Hunter, I just want to punch you so much now.”

“Just try it, I have a real werewolf to defend me now.”

“Hunter, after Mason hits you I am going to maul you.” Amy says.

“Guys, no violence please, at least not in my apartment, I don’t need the bad press.” Pacifica tells them while dialing a phone number.

“Who are you calling?” Dipper asks.

“Trigger, who else? There is a vehicle sized predator roaming the town, I don’t want to feel responsible if that thing eats a kid or something like that.”

“Pacifica, I will handle the cat, I just need a flashlight and I will get that cat back to standard, you don’t need to involve Sonia and her people.”

As Dipper says that his phone rings.

“Hello? Director Fairway, what a surprise! I was…. no, I don’t know anything about a giant cat, why would I know about it? and of course I know nothing about a giant moth either… No, please don’t shoot the cat! I might have a way to help you, and…. No! of course not! The fact that I can help you doesn’t mean I was the one responsible for making that cat grow to abnormal proportions, this time it wasn’t me, I swear and… what do you mean by that? You have already captured the cat? Elephant tranquilizers? Good choice!... wait, triple the dose? It makes sense, the way the cat moved showed a way higher metabolism than that of an elephant and… how do I know that if I know nothing about a giant cat? Heh, funny, I imagine cats are more active than paquiderms and… yes, yes, I will meet you… now? Waiting for me? Yes, I can fix the cat and the moth… yes, I am going now.”

Dipper sighs and tells Pacifica.

“Pacifica, I am really going to need that flashlight, if you have one.”

“Dipper, I don’t have a flashlight, just some candles in case of a power shortage; normally if I need to shine a light on something I just use my cellphone, why don’t you use your phone too?”

“I have a flashlight.” Amy tells Dipper.

“And, why would you help me?” Dipper asks.

“If I help you, will you release my friends from wherever your people took them?”

“Amy, they are not my people.”

“Yet when they call you answer.”

“Not because I want to, it is more of an I don’t have a choice situation with them, now about that flashlight…”

Amy rummages through her backpack and gives dipper a compact flashlight.

“Take it.”

“Thanks, it is a little small but I can make it work; now, please, please, don’t let anybody know you are a werewolf, heck, don’t let anybody see you if you can help it. Pacifica, please call Mabel and inform her what happened here, I will return as soon as I can.”

“Dipper, you can’t go alone, let me go with you; if they plan to do something bad to you they will think it twice if the governor’s daughter is with you.”

“Sure, I can read the newspaper tomorrow: Local young nut goes crazy and murders the governor’s daughter, read the details on page 3. No, I don’t want to endanger you but thanks for the offer; now, if you want to help me, say, do you have a pocket mirror?”

Dipper leaves Pacifica´s apartment as he fixes a crystal to the flashlight and puts it inside his Jeans. As he leaves the building he finds Trigger waiting for him, standing besides a large black SUV.

“Hi Trigger, how exactly did you know where I was?”

“Boy, it is our job to always know where you and your friends are, it is good policy to never let valuable property out of your sight, you know.”

“Gee, it is reassuring to know that you view us as property.”

“Kid, we own you now, but there is no need to make a fuss about it, we take good care of our stuff.” Trigger answers as he invites him to climb inside the vehicle.

“Please climb on the back seat, the front door is a little damaged.” Trigger informs him, and yes, it has some deep, large jagged grooves on it, as if made by giant claws.

“Yes, I can clearly see the good care you give all your stuff.” Dipper says as he touches the damaged door.
.

They arrive at a large compound outside of town, disguised as warehouses and a mechanic shop. Trigger parks inside a large hangar-like structure and as they enter it huge doors close behind them. Dipper can see some people standing besides a large cage, and inside of it there is a large black and white creature hissing aggressively.

“Good evening, Mr. Pines, we are admiring your work.” Sonia tells him.

“Guys, why do you think this has something to do with me?”

“We know you have some sort of size altering method, and this thing appears just as Jesus Alzamirano arrives to Singularity Hollow, and if we add to that the fact that you claim to have a way to reduce this cat to normal size, well, we can add two plus two, so, is it real, do you have a way to bring this cat to its normal size?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Then show us.”

“I need to inspect the cat first.”

Dipper circles the cage and when he is behind it he pulls out the flashlight and sends a beam of light at the cat, who immediately starts to shrink until it just escapes between the bars of its cage and runs away. For an instant, Dipper considers shrinking Sonia and her men too, but there are more of her agents around, it would be impossible to shrink them all before being shot by one of them, and then he or she would only need to retrieve the flashlight and after some experimentation restore everybody to normal size.

“That was amazing, young Mason, now please surrender that instrument to us.” Sonia tells her.

“As you wish.” Dipper answers and throws the flashlight in their direction, above the now empty cage.

“CRASH!” The flashlight falls hard on the concrete floor.

“Damn it!” Sonia exclaims, losing her usual cool. She picks up the lamp and checks it.

“It is broken.” She says.

“Ooops, my bad; now, can I go back to town? I haven’t had dinner and a nice kebab is waiting for me.”

“Mr. Mason, I believe a night in our cells would do you good, just so you get an idea of what your future might look like in case you decide to keep playing these stunts with us. Our compound is new, we are just conditioning it so it is not fully furnished yet, so I apologize in advance for the lack of comforts you will find.” Sonia tells him as two large agents drag Dipper through a just opened door leading underground.

Dipper checks his cellphone for the third time and… nothing, whatever this building is made of is blocking even the signals of his Ford-designed device. The place he is now is very badly lit, moist and smells funny, as if wild animals were close by. Well, at least he has a toilet and a mirror.

“Hello newcomer, tell me, are you human or… something else?” A voice asks. a voice Dipper recognizes.

“Madame les Gruffus? Is that you?”

“Madame les Griffes, and now I recognize your smell, so tell me, how is it that you ended up here with me, Mason Pines? Have you been the victim of a coup?”

“A coup? No, these people don't work for me, I am in their clutches as much as you are.”

“But they were so willing to help you! What did you do to anger them enough to put you behind bars?”

“I denied them something they craved, something I thought was too dangerous for them to have, just as I don’t plan to let them have you to analyse, explore and use to discover how you and your people work.”

“By that I understand you didn’t send them to capture us.”

“No, Hunter and I went looking for you this afternoon and we didn’t find you, but found enough clues to tell us who found you, I am sorry they captured you.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry, we were going to tear you apart.”

“Me and Hunter?”

“Just you, our boss was so impressed with your performance that he decided that there was no way Hunter could have done anything to save his pack from you and was willing to give him another chance at wolfhood.”

“I knew it, just wait until I see Hunter again; I am going to kick him back to Oakland!”

“Please, we are going to maul him to death first, he was the only one who knew about the meeting and could have warned those who ambushed us.”

“As much as I hate saying this, Hunter really liked being a werewolf, he would have never spoiled the chance at becoming one again.”

“So, how did your friends know about us? They came ready with your cursed potion and silver bullets.”

“Gal, you decided to attack what is probably the most ready to fight the supernatural town in the country, this time you didn’t choose your hunting ground wisely.”

“We didn’t have that information.”

“Now you know. If I help you escape, do you promise to leave me alone?”

“Escape from here? I have tried bending these bars of busting the lock, even in wolf form they don’t give in, even a little.”

“Will you leave me alone or not?”

“That is for the Alphas to decide, but it would help your case, and I promise not to maul you unless the Alphas tell me to.”

“Good, do they check on you regularly?”

“Every hour three armed men come to check on me, and they came just before they brought you in.”

“Good, Sonia said they were still furnishing the compound, and if they check on you regularly that means that they have yet to instal cameras down here, that will give us a chance. Now, the rest of your friends, where are they?”

“I don’t know, but if I were free I could track them.”

“OK, then let’s do it.”

Dipper retrieves from his pocket a little mirror and the crystal he had secretly removed from the flashlight and attaches it to his cellphone light. He puts the mirror against the cell’s bars and says:

“Here goes nothing.” As he throws the shrinking light at it, which bounces back at him.

An instant later he is just eight inches tall. He then just rolls the mirror out of the cage and seconds later he regains his normal size.

“I am out, now I will get you out, listen, this is going to be very weird for you, but I promise I can get you back to normal, now, could you please step back a little?” Dipper says.

“Boy, taking me a picture is not going to help me get out of… Oh Shit!

“Quick, come, I will turn you back to your normal size as soon as you are out of the cage, now, quick, come with me.”

The now little woman walks between her prison cell’s bars as Dipper grabs his mirror and then he makes her grow again.

“See, it is reversible.”

“Are you a wizard or a demon, what are you?”

“Just what you see, now, we need to get out of here and I need to be back here before they check on us again.”

They climb the stairs and then shrink back, this time to around 10 inches tall so they can carry the pocket mirror without much effort and once they are out of the cell’s area they run to the exit.

“OK boy wizard, what now?” The she-wolf asks as they are out in the open.

“Mason, my name is Mason, how should I call you?”

“Marie, I am… damn, well, now you know my name, don’t go around telling it to anybody, is that right?”

“Sure, but Marie is a beautiful name.”

“It is a human’s name.”

“Oh, would you like me to call you Lassie?”

“Don’t mock me boy.”

“I am not, just saying that I like the name Marie, now, can you track your friends?”

“Yes, in that building.” She says after sniffing the night air.

They run as fast as they can with their tiny legs.

“You are too slow, jump on my back.” Marie says as she transforms into a werewolf and whoosh! Soon they are inside what it looks like a warehouse, and trapped in cells is the rest of her pack and some other guests.

“Multi-bear, Chutzpar and gang, you are here.” Dipper says, for the multibear and at least a dozen manotaurs are also held captive behind strong cages.

“Dipper… you are tiny, did they capture you too?” The Multi-bear asks.

“No, I am here to rescue you.”

The werewolf Alpha sniffs the air and asks.

“Marie, is that you?”

A short burst of light later Marie and DIpper are back to their normal size.

“Marie, is that you, did you just… were you the size of a rabbit just some seconds ago?” The female Alpha asks.

“Yes, we came to rescue you, I assure you what is about to happen can be easily reversed, so don’t worry.”

“What is going to happen?”

“No time to explain.” Dipper says as he shrinks the Alphas.

Minutes later Dipper, the multi-bear, the manotaurs and the whole wolf pack scurry away right under the feet of the guards guarding their cells and run into the forest.

“Now what?” The Alpha asks.

“Now you run away from here and never come back; as I told Ma...dame Gruff, this is a town you don’t want to mess with.”

“And what should we do with you?”

“I just helped you escape from a place you were never going to walk out alive, so maybe you can find a little gratitude inside your hairy chest and leave me alone.”

“And if you try to hurt Dipper, he has brothers willing to defend him.” Chutzpar says, cracking his knuckles.

The Alpha sighs, and then says.

“Let’s not be said that werewolves are uncivilized monsters; Mason Pines, from this moment on we not only renounce our vengeance upon you but declare you a friend of wolves, as long as you don’t share the formula of your werewolf curing potion to anyone.”

“I can do that, so... allies?”

“For the moment, and until you screw it up. Now, could you please return us to normal size?”

“Sure.” Dipper says as he restores himself to normal size and then does the same to his fellow escapees.”.

“Now run and don’t stop until you reach Canada.”

“What will you do?”

“Me, I need to go back to my cell, that is what I have to do.”

“Dipper, you are even braver or stupider than I thought, I am glad I got to see you grow to be the man you are now.” Chutzpar tells him.

“I have friends whom I need to protect, and running away will do them no good, so see you later guys, not you wolves, let’s never see us again.”

“Wait, we still don’t know where they took Leaderaur, we need to find him first.” Chutzpar asks.

“I will look for him, I promise, you get as far away from here as possible.”

They all part ways and as Dipper shrinks back to toy size he can see the outline of werewolves and large horned creatures running away into the forest.

“Check the prisoners, do it now.” Dipper hears Townsend say.

“Why, no one has come or gone in the time we have been here.”

“Do it.”

Dipper hears heavy boots coming down the stairs and then men shouting.

“The woman is gone! And the boy… oh, he is here.”

“What is the matter?” Dipper asks, trying to sound annoyed..

“Mason, what happened?”

“What happened with what? I have been enjoying your hospitality since you put me here, that’s what has passed.”

“And the woman, what happened to the woman in the cell next to yours?”

“I don’t know, I am not her jailer, you are.”

“OK, guards, get him out of there and check him.”

They take Dipper out of his cell and pat him up and down.

“Hey, guys, at least invite me a drink first.” Dipper tells them.

“This is all he has with him.” The guards tell Townsend, giving him Dipper’s wallet, cell phone, room keys and some lint.

“This is it?”

“This is it.”

“Did you check everything, crevices and all.”

“I have nothing there, believe me.” Dipper says, now sounding really annoyed and concerned.

They are still discussing what parts of Dipper’s anatomy need checking when Sonia descends.

“Townsend, forget that, we need to check the surveillance cameras.”

“Sonia, we have no surveillance cameras.”

“What! What do you mean by that?”

“Sonia, we rushed this compound into service, cameras are not supposed to arrive until next week, that is why we moved the big… horned thing to the other location.”

“But portable cameras, those we have, don’t we?”

“Those will arrive tomorrow.”

“Damn it, sometimes I don’t know why I even bother; at least we have a sample of werewolf blood, don’t we?”

“Full scale sampling was scheduled to be collected this morning, but we have some, and also some from the bull-men and the weird bear.”

Sonia sighs, and then says.

“Townsend, I believe you and Mason Pines have a lecture to attend in some hours, please take him to town and please, I don’t want to hear from any of you in at least a week.”

“So, how was it?” Pacifica asks.

“Well, the ride back to town with Townsend and Trigger was awkward, but before that I managed to shrink the cat back to size and free the werewolves and some friends they had captured, I will tell you about it later.”

“Something you want to share with us, Mr. Pines?” Townsends asks.

“No, not really.”

“Then stop distracting Miss Northwest.”

“I feel like I am back in Highschool.” Dipper says to Pacifica, who just nods.

As the class finishes Pacifica says to Cher. “Have things to do, see you later.” As she grabs Dipper and drags him away.

“Now, tell me everything.”

“Not here, and I want to see Amy first.”

“That woman? What for?”

“She needs to know her pack is alright.”

“Dipper, last night she heard some howling in the distance and said she had to leave, and that she did.”

“Shame, it would have been nice talking to her, remember old times. Did she talk to Hunter before leaving?”

“As soon as you left Mabel and Wendy arrived and kicked him out of the apartment. I told them that he had probably tried to give you to the other werewolves and Wendy wanted to crack open Hunter’s skull for that. Before leaving, Amy told me to inform Hunter that he shouldn’t try following or contacting them again… or else.”

“Poor Hunter, I feel sorry for him.”

“Don’t; he is an asshole.”

“Well, he was going to deliver me to his friends to be killed, so yes, you are right, I don’t feel sorry for him anymore.”

“Don’t worry for that loser, now tell me what happened last night.”

Dipper tells her how he was in a cell, how he tricked Sonia and her men, how he saved the werewolves and left as friends with them, how he got back into his cell, smashed the crystal and threw it down the drain.

“And you did all that alone, without us?”

“I have been doing that kind of stuff alone for years now, it shouldn't surprise you, it is only when I am with you that I get unexplainably awkward, which is odd, back in the day I used to feel very confident around you, even a little cocky, but those were the days when I thought you were just a bratty, spoiled girl.”

“Don’t tell me I get you nervous now.” Pacifica asks, as she leans her face towards him, gaze fixed on his eyes.

“Heh, no, no, not nervous, you know, Heh.” Dipper says, looking pretty nervous and then proceeds.

“I worry for you, really, and for those who are with me… odd, isn’t it? When I should be sharper and more focused it is when I am more full of doubts and worries.”

“When you have your mind in something else, isn’t it? Or is it in someone else?” Pacifica asks, slowly batting those beautiful, long eyelashes.

“Hah, someone else like whom and… look, here comes Chloe and… shit, what are we going to do about her now?”

Pacifica frowns; she likes Chloe, but this moment she finds her presence annoying and can’t quite understand why.

“Hello Mason, you are back! Tell me, how was your meeting with the bad guys? I was worried for you and, oh, hi Paz.”

“Hi Chloe.”

“So, tell me Mason, or can I call you Dipper?”

“You can call me whatever you want.”

“That sounded…”

“Weird, yes I know, sorry, but feel free to call me Dipper.”

“Great! Now, about the giant cat, that was great, wasn’t it? I saw a giant cat, and a giant moth... and a werewolf! I can’t imagine how someone can change her biology the way that girl Amy did, from human to canid-like creature on a snap; where all the extra mass comes from and then goes to? And the moth shouldn’t have been able to fly at the size it was, and the cat shouldn’t have been able to move like a regular sized cat, and yet they did! Can you imagine what implies being able to alter the size of things at will without changing their intrinsic characteristics? You could grow your breakfast and Poof! Food for a party. You could make the harvest of a single country grow and end human hunger, you could make most of the land that is now used for agriculture redundant, they could be wildlands again.”

“I am more worried about tiny gulags for the enemies of the people who control the technology, entire human bodies being disposed off by being dropped in a regular kitchen blender and fed to a pet; armies of giant soldiers and tanks, a world which will never run out of fossil fuels where humanity will keep polluting the environment for centuries to come.”

“Mason, you surely have a dark mind, you should try being more optimistic.”

Dipper remains silent for an instant; yes, he has a dark mind, but it wasn’t always the case, he used to think like Chloe before, the very same things she had just told him, ending world hunger, having unlimited resources, imagining a world where electronics and power lines were made of gold, where a little garden in the backyard could feed a family forever, where waste and pollution could be shrunk and easily taken care of, a world of wonders and marvels. But, who would be in charge of that world, Sonia Fairway? And as Chloe asked, where all that mass goes and comes from? What if we are messing up with some other world or dimension each time the size altering crystals are used? There is no such thing as a free meal.

“Dipper, let’s talk about these things more, say, do you want to join me for lunch? I am paying.”

“Dipper and I have things to do.” Pacifica abruptly says.

“Really?” Dipper asks.

“Yes we do, physical… I mean, physics stuff.” She answers..

“But Dipper will tell me later how he makes things grow and shrink and tell me anything else I am missing, won’t he? Do vampires exist? And ghosts? Is there a heaven and a hell? Is reincarnation real? Can we…”

“Later, Chloe.” Pacifica tells her.

“Wait Pacifica; Chloe, please, don’t talk about any of these things with anyone, it might be dangerous.” Dipper says to Chloe..

“Uuh, was that a threat?”

“What.. no! More like a warning, there are people out there who… well, bad people, not to mention that most people will think you are crazy if you tell them giant moths exist, so please remain quiet about this stuff, it is for the best.”

“Are you like part of a secret order or something like that? Sworn to secrecy and all that stuff?”

“No, I am just a guy whose family seems to be a magnet for weird things, that is all and…”

“DIPPER!” Pacifica says.

“Alright, alright, see you later Chloe.”

As soon as they are a reasonable distance from Chloe Pacifica says.

“Do you realize you are putting her in danger just by admitting that what she saw last night was real?”

“Well, we saw it together, how could I deny it?”

“I don’t know, tell her there was a gas leak and she was hallucinating, say she got intoxicated with a kebab, just deny she saw us last night and tell her she was dreaming, anything but drag her into this madness that is your life.”

“My madness? It is your dad’s people who have my friends and family virtually kidnapped here.”

“Just you, what about me?”

“Please Pacifica, you are a Preston Northwest’s only child, you are probably just going to replace him when he retires, inherit everything he has, maybe even inherit me and my family as your, I don’t know, unwilling servants.”

“Is that what you think of me, after all we have been through together? Do you think I went looking for you to another dimension because I wanted you to be my servant?”

“I… don’t know, as I understand it Townsend’s mission was getting hold of my grunkle and me, in that case that is what you finally helped them achieve.”

“Do you really think that?”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to, but… I just don’t know.”

“Well, then go back to your friend Chloe, and by the way, she is not a natural redhead.”

“Just as you probably aren’t a….”

“A what, Mason?”

“Nothing, nothing, I am sorry, this is all new to me, all this being forced to work for a shady government agency; last night I was locked up in a secret cell belonging to a not-publicly known all-powerful federal agency, the next time they lock me up I might not have a way to shrink in size and just walk out of my cell: so far Sonia has tolerated our little antics but something tells me that her patience is not eternal and soon she is going to be demanding things from us, not politely asking and when that moment comes I don’t know what I am going to do. Your dad is the governor, is rich and his interests align with those of Sonia, you are safe from them, but my family? We are tools to them and sometimes I feel like I am trapped, that there is no way out for me or my people, that I have no control of my future.”

“Dipper, you know you can always count on me, I am your friend to the end.”

“Even if that means going against your father?”

“I have been fighting against him all my life.”

“But I thought you were more, I don’t know, ok with him recently.”

“He seems changed in a way, not that he really is a good person or cares for others, but he seems to be more interested in me lately, in my thoughts and ideas than he has ever been, maybe being a politician, being tasked with the wellbeing of people has made him, I don’t know, realize there are people in the world not named Preston Northwest.”

“Do you think he can help us?”

“That depends; can you offer him business opportunities worth billions or political power?”

“No.”

“Then we shouldn’t place our hopes in dad helping us.”

“Understood, now, about that dinner at the club…”

“You are not thinking of going back on your word on that, are you?”

“No, no, it is just that I don’t know what to wear to such a fancy place and…”

Pacifica grabs Dipper’s arm and says.

“We are going shopping.”

“160 dollars for a shirt?”

“It is not just any shirt, it is made in france.”

“Still, it is just a shirt.”

“Come on, you can afford it, you have to buy it.”

“Why?”

“It will look great on you, just that, if you are not buying it I can buy it for you.”

“No, no, if it is that important I will buy it, after all I don’t want to make you look bad at your fancy club, but gee, 160 dollars for a piece of cloth.”

“A fancy piece of cloth.”

“Yeah, right.” Dipper says, while thinking that 160 dollars -plus taxes- is a lot for a shirt no matter how fancy but the present company justifies that expense; it is so nice being with Pacifica when she is not in one of her sarcastic or moody moods, he really likes her, she is smart, clever and hotter than the sun, not to mention rich and popular, she is the whole deal and painfully out of his league, there is no way someone like her would date someone like him, and even if she was up to the challenge what can he probably give her that she didn’t have already except supernatural problems of the deathly kind? Yes, he has money now, but in reality it is not a lot of money. Of more value, at least to him, is the full scholarship he is been granted at one of the top colleges in the planet, but while he will graduate without a financial debt he will still have to pay for his studies, and the payment being expected is astronomical, basically his freedom to choose where to work, what to do with his life, how to spend his time, all of that he is giving up.

“What’s wrong, are those 160 dollars to heavy an expense for you?” Pacifica asks.

“No, no, it is… things.”

Pacifica sighs and says.

“Don’t worry dork, I am sure things will get better for you, you are intelligent and brave and have friends who love you more than you know:”

“It is those people who love me whom I worry for, I don’t want to see them hurt and all of these last events, the things that we have been through the last weeks… I have put you all in danger, you could have been killed in that other dimension or mauled by werewolves or giant cats and all because of things I did in the past.”

“The giant cat thing was all Soos.”

“It doesn’t matter, it was I who first started playing with the size-altering crystals, the one who used cloning copy-machines, the one who went looking for a lake monster, the one who summoned zombies to prove a point to Powers and Trigger and probably sent them straight to Sonia, the one who caught a supernatural monster and tried to use it as a tourist attraction and probably traumatized a nice couple for life, the one who…”

“Hey Dipper, relax, you are a dork and a little careless but you are not evil, stop worrying, and now that the wolves are out of your life you have no urgent concerns to take care of, I know you still need to find McGucket and you are still a puppet in Sonia’s hands, but there is no imminent danger to our lives, just relax for some days and focus on being a normal guy.”

Dipper smiles; sure, a normal guy, but he can’t just be that; he still needs to find a giant manotaur and make sure McGucket can regain enough of his sanity to lawyer up and fight against Sonia and her goons, but, how can he sue a legally non-existing government agency? And to make matters even worse, Dipper agrees with the fact that the things that the agency deals with should remain secret to the world.

The rest of the evening they spend studying at the library; Dipper finds he really needs a refresher course in traditional quantum mechanics and Pacifica finds it hard to believe the things Dipper teaches him on existential reality-altering multiversal chords.

“So, basically, are you telling me that some universal forces are alive?” Pacifica asks.

“I don’t know if alive or even sentient, just that they understand when talked to, otherwise verbal and written spells wouldn’t work, but it is not enough to talk to them or know their language, the words must have meaning and respect multiversal logic. There are places that act like a translator, where plain words can be understood by universal forces, but in those places you have to hope the translation is done correctly otherwise bad things might happen, like really bad things.”

“Are any of those places near?”

“Sure, Gravity Falls and its surrounding area. It seems like the fallen UFO has translating properties still functional.”

“Can you teach me some of those words? What can I do with magic?”

“Most of the things I know my uncle Ford has discovered and they deal mostly with dimensional gates, but I plan, after finishing college, to go there and experiment a lot. Of course, experimentation needs to be done carefully, we don’t want to open a dimensional portal to the center of a star or a black hole.”

“Dipper Pines, are you sure experimenting with that UFO is a good idea? Black holes are definitely not safe.”

“Relax, I will be careful.”

“Could you take me there someday? Visiting an alien spaceship would be a dream come true.”

“Sure, we can have an excursion next weekend, what do you think?”

“That would be awesome! Don’t even think of retracting, is that clear?”

“Hey, I wouldn’t miss the chance to spend a day with you, I mean, of showing a fellow scientist something as awesome as that buried spaceship, just be aware that some security measures might still be active, hmmm, I might need to fix you a new magnetic gun.”

“Cool, my own science fiction gun! How about a death ray pistol?”

“No, I don’t make those, not anymore, now, could we go to your apartment?”

“To my apartment, are you...?”

“I just need to retrieve the electrolls and my freezing gun, I mean nothing more, don’t get any wrong ideas.”

“As if you were that lucky. Ok, let’s go retrieve your weird friends, they really creep me out; last night they were enumerating all the ways to make a body disappear that they found on the internet, plus some suggestions of their own. I don’t feel safe with them around, you should think of a way to, I don’t know, dispose of them if they get too dangerous.”

“Now you sound like Ford; don’t worry, they might be a little weird but they are not evil, they just don’t fully understand what being alive means, or how easily death might come to us humans.”

“And I hope they never find out.” Pacifica remarks.

They walk to Pacifica’s home and there Dipper retrieves his stuff. As Dipper steps outside the apartment he finds out he doesn’t want to leave.

“I should see my sister and tell her to stop worrying about werewolves.” Dipper says.

“Yes, you should and Wendy would also like to hear that, I already told them you are back and that I was going to make you company this afternoon, odd that they haven’t shown up.”

“Yes, and I should tell Soos too I am OK or tomorrow he is going to return here with a modified land-battle gobblewonker.”

“I informed him you were fine as soon as I saw you today, exactly to avoid a situation like that, this University doesn’t need that kind of publicity.”

“Thanks, and…”

Chloe exits her apartment and stops when she sees Dipper.

“Still hanging out together? Paz, you have been monopolizing Dipper all day, when is he going to tell me about giant pets and things like that if you don’t leave him alone?

“Nobody needs to know about those things, not really.” Pacifica answers.

“I really have to see my sister, see you later gals.”

With those words said Dipper rushes out of the building.

“So, girl, want to go for a drink?” Chloe asks.

“No, I don't feel like drinking tonight.”

“Are you going to tell me what happened with Dipper last night? Did some weird new thing happen that I should know of?”

“Nothing you should know.”

“Oh, it is going to be like that? Then something I shouldn’t know but is still juicy and exciting?”

“Chloe, what happened last night might seem new and exciting to you but believe me, you don’t want to get involved with the Pines twins and their friends, as you said, weird things happen around them, weird and usually very, very deadly.”

“And you, as their friend, are you also too dangerous to be with?”

“Me? No! I just try to be a regular gal, that is all.”

“Yes, your regular millionaire governor’s daughter.”

“Yes, a regular millionaire governor's daughter that has nothing to do with giant cats, werewolves or weird bull-man hybrids.”

“Are there bull-man beings involved now?”

“Yes, I mean, NO! Where did you get that idea?”

“If the Pines are so weird, and by the Pines you surely mean Dipper since Mabel is more into parties and boys and things like that than supernatural beings, why are you still hanging out with them?”

“It is complicated, and don’t let Mabel’s bubbly, happy, borderline psychotic personality fool you, she is also very used to handling supernatural things.”

“Good for her, but you didn’t answer my question, why are you still hanging out with them if they are so dangerous?”

“We went through some really weird stuff together, life changing things of the weirdest kind… sorry, Chloe, I can say nothing more and you shouldn’t be asking about those things, especially not in this town, there is people, powerful people who lives to keep weird things secret, they should never know you are aware of, of anything, is that clear?”

“Sure, whenever you feel like sharing more, remember that I am your friend.”

“Thanks Chloe.”

Stupid Pacifica, I thought we were friends, how dare you to keep me away from these new wonders I have stumbled upon now that I know they exist? Finding out how something like Amy or the giant cat work is worth at least a Nobel Prize, and you want me to forget about those wonders just by mumbling some veiled threats? Mason knows about the weirdness, he is somehow the person who knows more about it, the nexus between the unknown and this normal world I live in, but that damned Pacifica is monopolizing him as if he was his personal… something. The way she looks at him and the way he looks at her, if they are not an item yet they are sure to become one soon, I can see the longing in their faces, the longing but also the doubts, the hesitancy; I have checked Mason’s background and it is as pedestrian as can be, could he feel that he is not enough for Pacifica? And what about Pacifica, would she feel fine introducing middle.class Dipper to her hi-brow friends? Could I exploit those feelings to steal Mason away from Pacifica? My family is also rich, probably richer than the Northwests, but we are not into politics and like to keep a low profile, that would make things easier between Dipper and me but, do I really like him? He is a little bit lame, at least publicly but I can’t deny he is not bad looking and is nicely built, even hunky without looking gym-produced, he gives the impression that he really uses those muscles for real life and death situations, and he probably does so if he is used to deal with werewolves and giant creatures, but still, I barely know him and Pacifica is not going to give me the chance to do so… although I know things about her, secret things that I could tell Dipper, tell him that that the brain behind Pacifica’s face hides some nasty secrets, but are those secrets going to make him loathe her or feel pity for her? What if knowing the things Pacifica has gone through just humanizes her more in his mind, makes her less than a perfect Northwest and more of a normal, red-blooded human girl? Maybe I have to look for answers somewhere else, and Dipper’s friend, Hunter seems to be in the know of some weird stuff, maybe I could try talking to him.

With those thoughts sorted, Chloe gets ready for a night of study: weirdness or no weirdness she still needs to deliver a paper next week on cellular dynamics and she wants to truly impress her professor.

“How impressed would she be if she saw a woman transform into a human-wolf hybrid?” She thinks and instead of studying goes looking for Hunter in all social media pages.

“You didn’t tell me we were going to wear almost matching shirts.” Dipper tells Pacífica. He is riding in the front passenger seat of Pacifica’s little convertible as they head to the mountains, to the very exclusive local Country Club.

“Come on, otherwise how would people know you come with me? Knowing that you come with me will surely make things easier for you at the club.” She answers.

“I don’t know, by watching us being together?”

“Relax, you are going to like it there, you will see. Tell me, do you golf?”

“Me, golf? No, never did that thing in my life.”

“At least has Mabel taught you how to properly hold an iron?”

“Pacifica, Mabel’s experience with golf stops at the mini version.”

“So, I could easily beat her in real life golf?”

“Yes, unless she asks her little friends for help, and you remember how that ended up for you last time.”

“Actually I don’t, it seems like I had my memories of that game erased.”

“Oh, the Society of the Blind Eye got you?”

“Mabel thinks they did, but she hasn’t told me how the game was going before the golf balls tried to kill me.”

“Oh, you were losing, but not because you were a bad player, the lilliputtians were sabotaging you.”

“Hah, I knew it! And do you happen to know what happened to my trainer? I never saw him again after that night.”

“He ran away from Gravity Falls as fast as he could, seeing little murder creatures that looked like little golf balls must had been too much for him, especially if he thought about all the balls he had hit in his life.”

“So, am I better that Mabel at mini golf too?”

“That is the thing, I am sure Mabel could have had a chance at beating you without the lilliputtian’s help.”

“A chance, a chance amongst how many?”

“I don’t know, three?”

“Mmh, sounds fair. So, you saved me that night.”

“It was more Mabel than me, those times I still kind of hated you, not that I would have let you be murdered, of course.”

“And what happened later?”

“Well, your parents never showed up…”

“Typical of them.”

“... so we had to take you home.”

“We walked all the way to the manor?”

“No, Uncle Stan and Soos picked us up.”

“Wait, I rode with you in that old, smelly thing your uncle called a car?”

“Yes, you drove in that smelly thing, and even more, you ate a taco.”

“What? I ate inside a car? You know it took me years to even dare to drink coffee inside a car, and I still never eat solid food in a car.”

“What, you have never eaten inside a car before? Except for that taco, of course.”

“No, never.”

“Then we need to change that, how about we stop on the way to your fancy club and get a nice juicy burger from a road joint?”

“In your dreams! I am not letting you drop crumbs of bread all over my car or stain with ketchup you very nice looking shirt, and specially don’t think you can fill me up before we have a proper dinner; I am expecting to be treated to a nice, fancy meal.”

“Eh, sure, but you are going to have to help me with the wines, I am not that good at pairing them up with food.”

“Or pairing up anything.”

“What does that mean?”

“The fact you don’t get it just confirms my point; and you shouldn’t worry about wine, we are not yet 21.”

“Come on, don’t tell me your fancy club doesn’t bend the rules even a little?”

“For members, sure, for guests? Not so much, and remember that I am the governor’s daughter, I can’t be seen doing anything against the law.”

“The way you drove when escaping from the werewolves surely broke like all driving laws and maybe a couple physical ones.”

“I was saving your life, you dummy, and getting a traffic ticket is one thing, but being caught drinking under age? Mmhh.even if everybody does it the press will surely blow it out of proportion.”

“Will press people be at the Club?”

“No, we are too exclusive for them, but someone can always send them a clip recorded with their cell phone and lots of rich assholes would rather have someone other than dad as governor.”

“Are you trying to make me nervous?”

“Relax, just let me do all the talking and you will be fine.”

“Just you?”

“Yes, the people there are like sharks, they can smell weakness, and they will be on you in a second if you let them, and as soon as a drop of blood is dropped the rest will come and feed on you in a murderous frenzy, leaving nothing of good old Dipper but bits and pieces slowly sinking to the dark depths of the social abyss.”

“Holy, are you sure we want to go there? Why are you taking me there?”

“Dipper, it is you who is taking me there for a nice meal, remember?”

“I am seriously considering the burgers on the road part.”

“In your dreams, say, you want to drive? I don’t want people to see the governor’s daughter driving some random guy around.”

“No thanks, bad things usually happen when I drive; my parents bought a car to Mabel instead of me because I might have somehow wrecked mom’s van.”

“Uhh, is it a good story?”

“Not that good, bad things tend to happen when you have twelve gnomes fighting a doberman sized tarantula as your passengers.”

“Hah, I can imagine the condition that car ended, but still that is just one example.”

“I have a terrible record with golf carts.”

“Golf carts? Should I be worried?.”

“Again, it was gnomes, oh, and the lilliputtians”

“You have to tell me about that, so, any other vehicular tragedies?”

“I was sailing the ship when uncle Ford and I entered the other dimension and were assaulted by a huge storm and a kraken.”

“So you wrecked the ship too?”

“No, uncle Ford was managing the ship by then, I was fighting the Kraken.”

“See, it wasn’t you that time.”

“The last time I took the wheel we ended up having to face werewolves.”

“You just took us there, and my awesome driving skills nullified your bad luck and got us back to town safe.”

“See, it is much better if you drive.”

“Yes… say, do you think I can pay Soos and your uncle to fix me this car like they fixed Mabel’s?”

“I don’t know, the raw materials for that kind of upgrade are not easy to come by.”

“And you, could you do it?”

“Mmhh, I guess I could and maybe I could do it better than them, that will show Mabel that I can do things better than Ford.”

“Great, it is a deal then.”

Minutes later they finally arrive at the Golf Club.

“Whoa, look at this place.” Dipper says as they walk through huge silvery gates into an area that could only be described as a roman village mixed with a high-tech dystopia. More than the marble columns, Perrier filled fountains and a large animal slowly roasting inside a gold lined oven resting in what appears to be a panda pelt (could it be? Nah, no one is that cruel.) It is the chimps being used as waiters what gives Dipper the deeper chills; he had met one before but he never expected that trend to catch on, chimps are wild, unpredictable animals that are more dangerous than people give them credit for.

“Miss Northwest and… companion, it is always an honor to have the governor’s daughter visit us.” A tall, wiry man with a huge moustache dressed as if he is about to meet the queen of England salutes them.

“Hello Gordon, it is always a pleasure being your guest.”

“Do you want your usual table?”

“Yes, but please have it ready at six, I first want to show my friend Mason the place.”

“OK, are your parents joining you for the evening?”

“My parents, no.”

“Then I will prepare their table.”

“Wait, are my parents here?”

“Yes, they both are, if not them, then I assume Miss Cascada and Miss Rainier will be accompanying you for dinner.”

“Don’t tell me they are both here too.”

“As they usually are on Saturdays when they don’t have a social event.”

“No, we are not dining with them and I would be very grateful if we could have a table not visible from theirs, it doesn’t matter if it is not my usual table.”

“I will do that, don’t worry, a table will be ready for you at 6.”

With those words Pacifica tells Dipper to follow her and she takes him for a walk around the club.

“Aren’t you afraid we will bump into Chloe and Cher or your parents?” Dipper asks.

“Nah, Chloe and Cher will not leave the spa before eight and my parents must be now socializing at the bar and their socializing sessions usually last until well past midnight.”

They both walk through the english-style gardens, watching the large fountains that Pacifica informs him once a year run with champagne during the spring festivities.

“Is that a statue of Hades?” Dipper asks.

“Yes it is.”

“Odd that the god of the underworld would have a statue here.”

“He is the god of the underworld, true, but also of all the good stuff buried underground, like gems and precious metals.”

“Is that a satyr?”

“Yes, Pan, ruler of the forests of which we have a lot here in our state.”

“What kind of festivities do these people celebrate during the spring?”

“I don’t know, dad has never let me attend any and mom always tells me that I should never come to one if I can help it.”

“And you have never come anyway?”

“That is the thing, I tried this year and they wouldn’t let me in, me, ME! I am a Northwest and they wouldn’t let me in, they had the gall to tell me I had to wait until there was a spot open on the celebrants list for me to attend, that or be an offering or a prize at the sailing competition.”

“So rich people nonsense.”

“But I am rich and was left out of that nonsense! It still burns, you know? Now, want to try your hand at golf?”

“No, not really?”

“Want to be my cadi then?” Let’s play just some holes, I need to keep my skills sharp.”

And so they play some golf. Pacifica has her irons and woods delivered to her, together with a golf cart. Dipper has both fond and not very fond memories of golf carts; they have saved his life in the past but also some very stressful moments he has lived while riding them. Well, uncle Ford says there is no such thing and wasted knowledge, and knowing golf can be useful in the future, so he decides to watch how Pacifica does it. The way he holds the club, how she swings her body with each strike, from her delicate feet to that glorious golden mane, passing through perfectly toned legs, deliciously rounded hips, impossibly narrow waist and the way things move up, it is…

“Dipper, what are you thinking about?”

“Legs… I mean, how to position your legs to give a good swing, that is all, that is all, nothing more, just that, it is all academic.”

“Really, want to try it?”

“I… am just in the theoretical part of my studies.”

“Theory is fine, but you have to do in order to really learn.”

“Wow, when did grunkle Ford tell you that?”

“Never, he must have told YOU that, not me, but smart people think alike, so come here and let’s see how you swing those hips.”

Dipper lets Pacifica adjust his hands on the club, feels her hands on his waist and hips, feels her position his legs and…

“Relax Dipper, you need to be loose and relaxed to give a good swing, loose some of that classical Dipper stiffness.”

“Me, stiff?”

“Shh, concentrate on the ball, there is nothing more than balls and holes and clubs in the world now.”

Those words make Dipper feel somehow even more nervous, but as his Grunkle always tells him: You have to do to truly learn, so he takes a deep breath, raises the club and swings as hard as he can.

“Good swing, next time try to hit the ball.” Pacifica tells him, trying hard not to laugh.

“Damn it, this swing doesn’t count.”

“Of course it does, now try again, this time just hit the ball.”

Dipper gives it another shot and BAM! the ball flies away.

“Nice shot, but next time try to aim better.” Pacifica says as the ball falls out of the field into the surrounding forest.

“Damn it, what should I do now?” Dipper asks.

“You have to play from where the ball is, so good luck finding it.”

They jump into the cart and drive to where Pacifica’s ball is and then Dipper goes looking for his.

“Damn it, I am sure Pacifica is doing this just to make me feel nervous, to show off her rich girl hobbies and… AAGHH!”

Dipper almost falls as the ground level drops a couple of inches. He manages to keep his balance after giving two or three fumbling steps forward.

“This damn club be cursed, what is…” Dipper says and then stops, for he has seen what he has stumbled upon; a large hoof print, too large to belong to any normal Earth creature, too large even for manotaurs except for one.

Leaderaur.

Dipper follows the footprints until he leaves the forest. There, some 300 meters away, down in a valley is a large building. He returns to Pacifica and asks.

“Pacifica, there are some buildings down in that direction, you know what they are for?”

“Those? They belong to the University, something about forest research, why? And why didn’t you play your ball? Don’t tell me you lost it.”

“No.no… yes I did. Say, can we visit those installations?”

“They are not part of the club, but maybe as students we will be allowed entrance, but why? Why do you want to go there?”

Dipper thinks about it and no, he can’t get Pacifica involved in this.”

“Just curiosity.”

“Does it have something to do with what happened the other night with the werewolves?”

“No, yes, no.. I mean, why would it have something to do with that?”

“Dipper Pines, you are a terrible liar, what are you planning to do?”

“Nothing, nothing at all.”

“Does it have something to do with that giant manotaur you told me about?”

Damn it! Why he had to tell Pacifica about that?

“No, no, of course not, why would it have to do something with that?”

“Dipper Pines, please don’t get into trouble, not today, not this evening, please.”

“No, no, not tonight… I mean, no never, there is nothing weird going on and look, it seems like we are holding some people off, we need to move to the next hole, sorry mister, we are already moving.” Dipper says to the approaching guy and… why is Pacifica looking even paler than usual?

“Good Lord, Pacifica Northwest, what a nice surprise!” The man says: he is about the same height as Dipper but with a slightly more muscular build. His skin is suntanned and his hair is a mass of golden curls.

“Garret, what are you doing here?”

“Me? I am a member, you know and even though I despise golf it is a useful skill to have for doing business in this country. Now, I don’t seem to know this boy making you company.”

“I am Mason Pines.” Dipper says, extending his hand to greet him.

“Mason Pines, the man who killed a white Rhino? The wolf hunter? Nice to meet you, it is nice meeting someone who still indulges in manly pursuits.” Garret says while effusively shaking Dipper’s hands.

“You were misinformed, I would never kill a rhino.” Dipper tells him.

“That is odd, you have the unmistakable air of a fellow hunter.”

“I have hunted… other things.”

“Ooh, I get it; you are more of a fellow hunter than I thought. If you drop by the restaurant tonight I might treat Pacifica and you to a nice dinner. I provided the main course, which is now slowly roasting; It’s exclusive bambu diet gives the meat a very green flavour, it is like eating salad and meat at the same time.” Garret says and then laughs.

“We will pass, Garret.”

“Pacifica, Pacifica, don’t say that, have you forgotten all the nice moments we lived together? I know, I know our story is over, but please indulge me tonight for old time’s sake.”

“I’d rather not, Garret.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan to steal you away from your current boyfriend, I am a gentleman after all.”

“She is, we are not… I am not her boyfriend.” Dipper says.

“Is that so? Then, if you are a free agent, could I try to win your favor back, Pacifica?”

“No, not in a million years.”

“I know you couldn’t have forgotten all the fun we had together.”

“Hey man, watch it, the lady said no.” Dipper tells him.

“Relax man, I would never force a lady to do something she didn’t want to do, if she says no that means no, I get it, but I find it odd, you know?”

“What, what do you find odd?”

“After telling me that she didn’t like my… hobbies, I find her now accompanied by someone who has surely faced and killed his fair share of game too.”

“Mason is not that kind of person.” Pacifica tells him.

“Neither am I, so, tell me Mason, are you here too because of Sonia’s call?”

“Fairway? Are you talking about her?”

“Hah, Pacifica, if your boy here knows about Fairway he is not the innocent person you think he is. So, Mason, if we are both going after the same… special bear and the… special bulls and the special wolves, would you like to make a wager? I wager that I am going to get them before you.”

“You wouldn’t dare…”

“Mason, I dare, so, how about we bet 50000 dollars?”

“Are you crazy?” Dipper answers him.

“What, you find the sum too low? Let’s make it then 200,000, is that right?”

“You won’t get away with it.”

“Oh, I will, I have no doubts about it. I believe I am not in the mood for golf anymore. Pacifica, Mason, I expect to see you tonight at dinner, there we can flesh out this bet a little more, that is if you are not scared, Mason. Nice shirt, by the way.”

Garret leaves and Dipper asks Pacifica.

“You dated that jerk?”

“No need to rub salt on that wound; yes, I did and that is all I will say.”

“But he is like ten years older than you!”

“Actually just five, he looks older than he really is, too much sun and not enough sunblock do that to your skin.”

“I have had my good share of sun too, and I don’t look that old.”

“No, you would actually benefit from a beard of something.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing, nothing, boy.”

“Oh, please, I don’t look like a kid, do I?”

“Well, being fair, only your face looks like that of a teen.”

“Well, not for long and…”

“Dipper, I am an idiot! Your birthday, it is not today, is it?”

“No, it is next friday.”

“And what are you planning to do to celebrate?”

“I will let Mabel decide.”

“Oh, yes, it had to be her birthday too.”

“Well, we are twins.”

“That explains it, so, are you not involved at all with your birthday party? In less than a week you will officially stop being a teen, how can you leave such an important celebration to chance?”

“Not to chance, to my sister.”

“Really, why?”

“I have no one to invite to my party. Besides Soos, I can’t think of anybody else I would like to attend my party, at least no one human. Maybe McGuckett, but I have not been able to locate him, and with Chutzpar and the multi-bear on the run and about to be hunted down I don’t really feel like celebrating, I just hope they have crossed the border by now and are safe in Canada.”

“Stop worrying about things you can’t control, it is your birthday, I will get in touch with Mabel, I have some ideas for your big day.”

“Ehh, thanks?”

“Cool, now let’s see what else I can show you, did you bring your swimming trunks?”

“What? No, no, I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.”

“What? No, I didn’t.”

“Yes you did, courtesy of your sister.”

“No way! The electrolls would have alerted me if someone had gotten into my room.”

“According to Mabel you just need to ask permission addressing them as future overlords and they will let you do anything.”

“Damn with those two! I will have a word with them when we get back home.”

“So, how do you feel about a swim?”

“I don’t know, I mean…” Dipper is saying but then a thought crosses his mind: Pacifica in a bikini and…

“...you know? Swimming would be ok.”

“Cool, let’s get ready, your bag is in my car’s trunk, let’s go pick it up.”

“And you didn’t bring your stuff?”

“Dipper, I have my own locker here with all the things a girl like me might need.”

Dipper is taking a swim across the pool; not every club has a 100 meter long swimming pool to practice, and he needs to have blood rush to other parts of his body after there were some unintended but very understandable side effects of observing Pacifica wearing just her purple and hot pink bikini. Meanwhile, Pacifica just chills out in the circular section at the end of the pool while she orders a drink from the pool bar and looks at Dipper’s swimming, watching that wide back and strong arms plow through the water. He no longer has the noodle like arms he had when he was 13, he has grown in a very nice way, very, very nice way, this trip was a worthwhile adventure just for the chance of watching those incredibly defined abs of him and…

“Hello girl, what a surprise! Bartender, I will have one of those my friend is drinking.” Cher says.

“Make them two.” Chloe ads.

“Girls, you are here! What a surprise.” Pacifica says to her friends as they join her in the pool.

“Girl, you don’t sound too thrilled to see us.” Chloe says.

“Who me? Why? You are my gang, my clique, of course I am happy to see you.”

“Are you sure? By the way, who is the guy you are watching? He looks nice but I don’t recognize him.”

“Oh, that, I don’t know, Cher, someone new.”

“Well, he is coming this way, maybe we can convince him to invite us some drinks, look at those arms, and that back! That guy surely takes care of his physique.” Cher says.

“That is good, since I am going to become a physician.” Chloe answers.

“And I am a physicist.” Cher tells her, laughing.

“Gals, let’s not mind that guy.” Pacifica speaks.

“Oh sure, we just saw Garret some minutes ago so you already have someone to have fun with, let these gals get some fun too.” Cher says as Dipper swims close to them.

“He even has a nice bum.” Cher tells.

“Look, he is coming this way.”

“Oh boy, well, there is no hiding it then.” Pacifica says.

“Hide what?” Cher asks as Dipper stops in front of them.

“Ahh, I needed that Oh… hi Chloe, hi Cher, weren’t you supposed to spend all afternoon at the spa… I mean… hi, glad to see you.”

“Mason, were you the one…? I think I am going to throw up.” Cher says.

“Nice to see you Mason, like really nice, hope you can now tell me more about the werewolves.” Chloe asks.

“So, first Hunter and now Mason, do they let just anybody into this club nowadays? Cher opines.

“Hey, it is not that I planned to ever come to this place… or that I even knew it existed before last week, I just wanted, I owed Pacifica a dinner and…”

“So, you brought him here?” Cher asks Pacifica, cutting out Dipper’s explanation.

“Hey, he offered to invite me to dinner.”

“And did you invite Hunter too?”

“No, I didn’t, why?” Pacifica answers.

“Then how did he get in here?” Cher asks.

“Cher, you shouldn’t care that much about that.” Chloe tells her friend.

“No, he is… his kind shouldn’t be here, it is enough that our school has to offer scholarships to people of his ilk, now they are also here, in our Country Club!”

“Wait, Hunter is here?” Dipper asks.

“Yes.” Chloe answers him.

“Hopefully, that is all the people of your kind we will see today…” Cher is saying when someone shouts:

“BOMBS AWAY!”

Water splashes everywhere as a girl dive bombs into the pool.

“AAARGH, MY HAIR; MY MAKEUP!” Pacifica, Cher and Chloe shout in unison.

“HI GUYS!” Mabel greets the group.

“Mabel? What are you doing here?” Dipper asks as Mabel hugs him with one arm and whispers in his ear.

“Making sure you don’t spoil this date; don’t worry bro-bro, I’ve got your back this time.”

“It is not a DATE… I mean, today is not the day to think about those things, I mean, our birthday is next friday.” Dipper says, realizing everybody is listening.

“And I am making sure you get a very rich present by then, HA, HA.” Mabel says, winking.

“Pacifica, how did she get in here?” Cher asks.

“Tom invited me.” Mabel says.

“Chloe, you seriously have to talk to Tom, you can’t let him do this… kind of things.”

“I don’t know, the Pines have a way to catch your interest.” Chloe answers her.

“Is there something I don’t know?” Cher asks.

“If you only knew…”

“What Chloe wants to say is that they are very good friends, nice people, that is all.”

“Sure, sure… Pacifica, you never learn, Mason is not a good Garrett replacement; sure, he was a big asshole too, but at least Garret had style.”

“What do you mean, Cher? I believe you are seeing things that ain't there.”

“Please, Mason is like the bootleg version of Garrett, tall, slim, muscular, good looking on the outside but an animal murderer on the inside.”

“Again with that? I have never killed an animal in like, ever!” Dipper replies.

“That is true. my brother may be naive, indecisive, clueless, full of self doubts and not as smart as he thinks he is but he is not a bad person and would never kill anything just to get cheap thrills out of it.”

“Gee Mabel, thanks?” Dipper tells her sister.

“Your welcome bro, I am always here for you.” She says and then he drags him towards her and whispers:

“Good, she has a type and you are it!”

“This is not how imagined it was going to be today, can things get worse?” Pacifica says.

“Don’t ever say that!” Mabel tells her as a very elegant butler approaches them.

“Good evening, I come to tell you that you are invited to join tonight…”

“Tell Garrett we are not interested.” Pacifica interrupts the newcomer.

“Mr. Garrett will be with you, but he is not the one inviting you to join him, it is the Honorable Mr. Preston Northwest who is inviting…”

“Tell dad I am not in the mood for one of his boring…”

“... Mr. Mason Pines to join him.”

“Wait, Preston Northwest wants to have me for dinner?” Dipper asks.

“The Honorable Preston Northwest, Governor of Oregon wants Mason Pines to join him and his wife for dinner, he also instructed me to get you ready for the night. He expects to see you in less than an hour, so I have to ask you to follow me to get you ready.”

“Mr. I know you are just the messenger but you can tell Preston…”

“Tell dad that we will be there.” Pacifica interrupts Dipper.

“Wait, I thought you didn’t want to go, what if they try to make me eat panda?”

“Dipper, he is my dad, I am allowed things that others aren’t, but you, do you really want to insult the governor of the State?”

Dipper sighs with resignation; Pacifica is right, he can’t just tell no to Preston Northwest and expect no repercussions.

“OK man, lead the way.” Dipper says as he leaves the pool.

“I will never tire of asking this; who do you think you impress dressing this way?” Dipper asks.

Well, me, for starters. Pacifica thinks, biting her lip while watching Dipper dressed in a perfectly tailored tuxedo.

“Don’t be so dramatic, you look good.” She says.

“No, you look good.” He says: Pacifica’s green tight dress with a very dramatic neck plunge line is making his tuxedo feel even tighter than it is.

“As I always do, remember?”

“This feels like a straightjacket, and trust me, I know how that feels.” He says as they enter the club’s poshest restaurant.

“Yes, how?”

“An encounter with a ghost inside a haunted abandoned mental asylum.”

“That sounds creepy.”

“Not as creepy as this dinner.”

“Hey, it is my family.”

“Last time I was your father’s guest I was turned into wood.”

“That was not my father’s doing… ok, maybe it was partially his fault but don’t deny you had a great time that night.”

“Not thanks to him, that was more due to a little blonde spitfire in purple.”

“Ha, a blonde spitfire? What are you, seventy?”

“OK, a smartass blode girl with a very caustic and sharp mouth.”

“I was the one with the caustic mouth? You started that evening by calling me the worst, like, worst at what?”

“Worst at… just worst.”

“And what do you think about me now?”

“Pacifica, you are… I mean, you are definitely not the worst, you are, heh, how can I say it… I want to say that…. Oh, oh, is that your father’s table? Oh, crap.”

Pacifica looks at the table and frowns, what are they doing here? Preston and Priscila are already drinking what appears to be Martini’s, Hunter is sipping from a glass of what appears to be Scotch and grimacing with each sip. Alana is also drinking scotch and looking as if she is really enjoying it while Sonia holds a glass of wine in her hands.

“The guest of honor finally arrives, fashionably late.” Fairway says while pointing to two empty chairs.

“You, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, didn’t you know? Our University president just retired and it seems like I inherited his position, and being the president of the university comes with some really nice perks, like a membership in this fancy club, not that I wasn’t a member before, it is just that I am a member with more perks now.”

“As the President of our local university, my Alma Mater, it will always be an honor to be graced by your distinguished company.” Preston says to Sonia.

“Governor, it is an honor sharing your table.” Sonia replies.

“Well, now that we are all here, why don’t you finally introduce your guests? If they are with you I am sure they must be some very interesting people despite their youth.” Preston tells Sonia.

“Good evening. Honorable Governor, my name is Alana McIntosh, you don’t know it but you already met my father once.”

“Oh, really? Are you the daughter of Trevor McIntosh?”

“No, no, my father, well, you met him under another name, but that is a story for another time, now I am just happy to have a face to accompany the name of Preston Northwest. I am sure we will meet soon under other circumstances.” Alana says as her hand slowly inches towards the steak knife.

“Darling, another time.” Sonia tells her, placing her hand on top of hers.

“And you young man, what can you tell us about yourself?” Preston asks.

“Your eminence, your honor, my name is Hunter, I attend the same school as your daughter and Mason.”

“Hunter? That is odd, do you have a last name?”

“Fox sir, my name is Hunter Fox.”

At the mention of that name Preston’s face turns very pale.

“Fox, are you sure your name is Hunter Fox?” He asks.

“Yes sir, but that is all I can say, I don’t believe you have ever met my father, heck maybe you did, who knows? I never met him, he left mom and I before I was born.”

“Oh, I am sure Preston would have no trouble locating you father.” Sonia says.

“What do you mean by that?” Priscila asks.

“Oh, just that he, as Governor, commands lots of resources; if Hunter’s father is in Oregon I am sure Preston could find it as easily as he looks into the mirror.”

“Oh, that! I am sure Preston would help poor Hunter gladly, don’t you, darling?” Priscilla says.

“I will do my best, but I don’t know, usually when a man doesn’t want to be found it is for a reason.” Preston answers his wife and then quickly asks her daughter and Dipper:

“Now guys, why don’t you introduce yourselves to our guests?”

“Dad, we already know each other.”

“Is that so? So, why have you never talked to us about them?” Priscilla asks.

“Oh mom, how many of my friends do you know?”

“Not many besides the lovely Cher and Chloe because you never mention them, and speaking of friends you are in for a very nice surprise.” Prsicila tells her daughter as a waiter chimp replaces her empty martini glass with a filled one while another grabs a chair and places it at Prsicila’s side. As the chair is ready Garrett approaches the table and salutes everyone.

“Good evening, your honor, ladies, gentlemen, I apologize for my tardiness but I had to make sure the chefs knew how to properly cook the meat I provided tonight, My name is Garrett Swashbucks the Third, which is an odd name considering that I am also the only Garrett Swashbuck alive.

“Charmed.” Alana says while giving Garret a very thorough visual inspection.

“Night.” is Hunter’s salute as he stuffs his mouth with a tiny cheese-filled bun from the basket at the center of the table, which earns him a look of reproach from Priscila.

“So, it seems like we ended up joining you for dinner after all.” Dipper says.

“Don’t worry, you are not going to regret it, I promise.” Garret answers as he sits next to Priscila.

Small chat ensues among the guests and to her credit Pacifica is trying to steer the conversation to simple, harmless matters while at the same time struggling to be cordial to Alana and Garrett. Alana, for her part, seems to be giving all her attention to Priscila, probably assessing the other remaining relative that she knows of while Garrett is assessing Alana and not as he would do a relative. Hunter is busy munching on the food while Sonia and Preston talk about the political climate and some undisclosed project that needs his approval. Dipper is trying his best not to make any waves, to end the evening as fast as possible, but by the time the main course arrives Garrett asks.

“So, Mason, what is the plan?”

“What plan?”

“Oh, don’t play the ignorant, I know what you really are and there is only one reason why Sonia would have asked you to help me.”

“Wait, am I supposed to help you?”

“Mason Pines, it seems like we have a serious problem with some, let’s call it pests who have been wandering through the zone lately, creatures with whom you have I believe some sort of… friendship.” Sonia tells him.

“Creatures, what kind of creatures? What are you talking about?”

“The manotaurs, Mason, they have not been good neighbors lately.”

“Wait, you know about the manotaurs?” Dipper asks, feigning ignorance.

“We had a good deal of them as guests lately, as I am sure you are aware of even if you pretend to be ignorant of that fact, and we would like to extend our invitation to them, let them be our guests for as long as they want to.”

“More likely until you are done with them.” Dipper replies.

“It is all for the wellbeing of our nation.”

“And if I say no?”

“Mr. Garrett here will be the one dealing with them.”

“Yes! And remember that you promised that I could have the biggest one as a… wall adornment.”

“Mr. Swashbucks, the biggest one would not even fit in your house, but you can have the second largest one.”

“Oh, you don’t know my house, it is pretty large.”

“And you don’t know the size of the leader of that herd. Now, as I was saying, Mason, can we count with your help? Only you can make the events that are about to transpire completely… bloodless.”

“You are asking me to betray my friends, to deliver them to you, how can you expect me to do that?”

“Mason, we are going to get them anyway, whatever chances of freedom you gave them when you helped them escape the other night they have now blown away by trying to rescue their leader.”

“They are good bros, and a bro never abandons a bro… or so they have told me.”

“So, it is up to you; convince them to come of their own will or I let Garrett and my men bring them in by whatever means available.”

“Mom, are you OK with this?” Pacifica asks her mother.

“Pacifica, I was turned to stone and used as furniture by a giant yellow abomination and its equally monstrous stooges, it was such an indignity! I want all the oddities and freaks of nature extirpated from this world by any means possible.”

“Mmh, it seems like everybody here has experience with the supernatural, what is your story, Garrett?” Dipper asks.

“Well, the Swashbucks have been hunting oddities and freaks for six generations and I am the culmination of all those years of experience, the ultimate freak’s hunter.”

“Hunting, as in, you know, shooting them?”

“Yes, but burning, impaling, crushing, dismembering or beheading them are also available options in my repertoire.”

“And what exactly are we supposed to do together?”

“Sonia has asked me to bring some freaks to her… alive, and well. I have to admit I am not very good at that, so what do you say, ready for a team up?”

Dipper looks at Pacifica, who shakes her head telling him no and answers.

“And, if I say no?”

“Then I get to bring those beasts to Sonia in whatever condition suits me better.” Garrett answers, while moving his hands as if working the bolt of a rifle.

“So, basically you are asking me to betray my friends.”

“No, Mr.Pines, we are giving you the chance to save them, to save them and to help your nation advance its knowledge of the supernatural.” Sonia tells him

Dipper once agains looks at Pacifica who sighs with resignation; it is obvious she doesn’t want Dipper to help Garrett, but it is also obvious to her the answer Dipper is going to give.

“I will do it, but I have one condition.”

“And what is that, Mr. Pines?” Sonia asks.

“No guns whatsoever.”

“Not even these?” Sonia tells him, while putting Dipper’s freezing and magnetic guns on the table.

“Wait, how did you…?”

“You shouldn’t leave your valuables unprotected inside a car’s trunk.”

“Wait, you opened my car?” Pacifica asks.

“Yes, it wasn’t that hard. Mr. Pines, you should take better care of your things, there are robbers everywhere.”

“But I thought this Club was a safe place.”

“You thought you were safe from robbers and criminals while in this Club? HA; HA; HA...kid, this place is so full of them.”

“That is not an accurate description of the club’s patrons.” Prestons says.

“Sure, sure, now about the land you are going to grant the university, are the paper’s signed. Governor?”

“Sonia, I don’t think I can sign those, I have nothing to win from signing them.”

“Well, can you at least help us locate Hunter’s dad then? My people are awfully close to locating him, but your help would be gladly appreciated, I am sure you would like to know who…”

“The papers will be signed and on your desk tomorrow morning.” Preston tells her.

“Good, good, now we have to get ready for some nightly adventure, are you ready people?”

“Ready and willing.” Garrett answers.

“I feel like I have been ready for more than a century.” Alana answers.

“It is a night for hunters.” Hunter says.

“If there is no helping it, then let’s go.” Dipper answers while grabbing his guns. “But first, I need to change clothes.”

“Dipper, you can’t go alone with those three, it is not safe! Hunter and Alana have already tried to hurt you, and Garrett… you don’t know him as I do, he is dangerous!”

“Pacifica, Hunter is harmless without his wolf powers, and while Alana knows some magic she doesn’t have a source of inexhaustible power as she did in the other dimension. Now, your friend Garrett worries me, what can you tell me about him?”

“He is vain and cruel, to him every activity is a hunt and every living thing is prey. He is smart, he is cunning, he will study you and think of the best ways to hunt you; don’t talk to him, whatever you tell him he can use against you on some way, be it to lure you, to trap you or to make you act in a way he wants you to, with him you can never know if he is being honest or just telling you what you want to hear so you will lower your guard, lose your fear of him and present him your raw, unprotected heart for him to mercilessly shot and then hang your head on his trophy wall for everyone to see and laugh and congratulate him for such a fine piece and ask him how he got it.”

“Gee… you dated that man?”

“Don’t go that way, I am over him and want nothing to do with him in any way.”

“And what made you… nevermind, anything else you want to tell me?”

“Dipper, don’t go, jump in my car and let’s get out of here now.”

“Pacifica, I can’t, they might shoot Chutzpar or someone else, I need to go.”

“At least let me go with you, they will not dare to hurt you if the governor’s daughter is with you.”

“And what about Alana? I believe she is not going to hurt you, but she has just met your father and she didn’t look pleased, what if she hurts you just to hurt him?”

“Dipper, the night you brought her back to our world she promised not to hurt me or Wendy or your family, but promised to hurt you if she felt like doing it, she is dangerous.”

“Yes, maybe you are right, that is why I don’t want you to come with me.”

“Dipper, you are so stubborn! You know I can take care of myself.”

“Pacifica, I know that; you are smart, brave, a great driver and mean with a gun, that is why I want to ask you something else: please look for Mabel and warn the manotaurs, tell them to run away; I will free Leaderaur somehow, if not today then soon, tell them to trust me on that.”

“Wait, you want me to get into the forest alone at night and look for some big, smelly, chauvinistic monsters and somehow convince them to stop playing macho rescuers and turn tail and run away?”

“Eh, basically, but you won’t be alone; Mabel will be with you.”

“Mabel, Mabel, she and I are not the best match to… to do anything, really.”

“Please Pacifica, my sister, like you, is a force of nature, if you two work together there is nothing you can’t achieve.”

“Flattery is not needed, I will do it, only because you are bound to die if I don’t help you: I will look for your sister and deliver your message to the cattle men, you make sure you don’t die and don’t ever give your back to Garrett, is that clear?”

“Sure, sure… so, how do I look?”

“I don’t know, henchman black is not your color, and what are those straps for?.”

“Beats me, and while I don’t like wearing Sonia’s outfit for shadowy government thugs, I couldn’t go to the forest wearing my new shirt, for 160 bucks I expect it to become a heirloom for my future kids.”

“Complaining again? Wait until I get you to buy the trousers that match that shirt.”

“Eh, what is wrong with just wearing jeans? They go with everything.”

“Well, there are jeans and jeans.”

“Pacifica, I have to go, please look for Mabel and help me with this, and please, be careful. Remember, when addressing the manotaurs and asking them to leave don’t make it look like it the safest thing for them, make it look like letting me free Leaderaur is the bravest thing they can do otherwise they will just charge Sonia’s compound and be all captured or worse.”

“Don’t worry nerd, I will have that herd running to Canada as soon as I find them.”

“Good, and don’t call them herd or cattle, they might find that offensive.”

“Wait, what if I offend them? Can they be dangerous?”

“Oh no, fortunately for you they have an old style macho attitude that includes chivalry and respect to females at its chore and a lot of helping ladies in need, they would never think of hurting you or any other women unless they think you are a witch.”

“Good, let them rip Alana to pieces.”

“Pacifica….”

“What? I still don’t buy her “I am a good girl now”, If she is so good, what is she doing with Sonia? And weren’t you just telling me minutes ago that she might be dangerous to me?”

“Well, she is here not by choice.”

“Oh, Dipper, you are so smart and yet still have so much to learn. Alright, I will go looking for your sister and we will fix this situation for you, but I want a nice dinner night in return next weekend, is that clear?”

“Sure, sure, I don’t know where we could have it so we won't be interrupted but…”

“Greasy’s.”

“Wait, Gravity Falls?”

“Yes, remember that you promised to show me the UFO and your Uncle’s lab. so don’t dare to take back your word now.”

“Wait, when did I promise to show you my uncle’s lab?”

“You… hey, I don’t know, the thought just popped into my mind.”

“I suppose nothing bad can come from showing it to you, after all no one who is not a Pines or let inside by a Pines can enter it, so it is a deal, next weekend Gravity Falls, buried UFO and a tour through the cabinet of curiosities that is my uncle’s lab.”

“Cool, now go and please take care.”

“You too.”

Dipper leaves and as he walks he scratches his bum, the tight “tactical” pants that Sonia’s men use are really tight and a little itchy, and so are the black shirts but he is thankful for the bulletproof vest they gave him and the hip holsters for his Ford.supplied pistols, the vest gives him some peace of mind now that he is going to be walking side by side with what appears to be a gun-crazy Garrett and the holsters make carrying his pistols so much more comfortable than the inner holsters in his jacket.

He reaches the club parking lot and there he finds Garrett, Hunter and Alana waiting for him.

“Wait, it is only us who are going to go looking for the manotaurs?” Dipper asks.

“Yes, but don’t worry, Sonia’s people will be right behind us if we need them.”

“We won’t need them.” Hunter says.

Hunter is wearing some cheap clothes and a backpack while Alana is dressed just in what seems to be a long, thick wool dress while Garret has gone full on the African Safari look: big brown boots, canvas pants with lots of pockets, a tan vest also full of pockets and a wide brimmed hat decorated with what seem to be animal fangs make up his clothes.

“A hat at night?” Dipper asks him.

“You never know when something might fall on your head. In Guyana if I hadn’t worn a reinforced hat a brain sucking tarantula would have killed me last year.”

“Brain sucking tarantula? Please if you are going to invent stories at least use real animals.” Dipper tells him.

“Oh, but they are real, as real as krakens or manotaurs, just because you are ignorant of their existence that doesn’t mean they are not real.”

Dipper remains silent: could those tarantulas be real? If so, it really irks him that Garrett knows of creatures he does not.

“Weird animals have nothing on ghosts.” Dipper tells him, trying to up-man him.

“I don’t know, most ghosts I have met were just puny specters, and since even the truly mean ones vanish after they are dealt with they make really poor trophies so I don’t really care for them, now, shall we go? I want to be finished with this early so I can rest at least a couple of hours before I have breakfast with Pacifica tomorrow morning.”

“Dude, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“Maybe, but her mother promised me breakfast with her tomorrow, I have a really good relationship with Priscila and Preston, that smooths lots of things. A piece of advice; if you get the parents on your side half the battle is already won.”

“Unless your mark doesn’t really care for her parents.”

“Mason, Pacifica is more like her parents than you will ever know.”

And thinking like that is how you are going to lose her, Dipper thinks.

“Go find the bull-men, warn them, please help me, why did I listen to Dipper?” Pacifica says as she carefully climbs the hill, being careful not to touch any plant; her hands are already full of tree sap and itchy and sticky.

“Because my bro is so cute, isn’t it?”

“Ha, he wishes! He is a nerdy dork and will always be.”

“Which makes him cute, isn’t it?”

“Dorkness and cuteness are very different things and… damn this forest! What did I just step into?”

“Relax girl, it is just mud, now, going back to Dipper…”

“Mabel, focus on our task, if this was a story it wouldn’t be passing the Bechdel test.”

“Well, it would be ok if it was romantic fan fiction.”

“Romantic? Please! I owe Dipper a lot and he is a good man, but girl, I am a Northwest, I can’t just hook up with anybody, I’ve got standards.”

“Shame, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I know and… NO! standards are good, they make us special, different.”

“And you like different and special, don’t you?”

“It is the rarest gems that are the most valuable.”

“Can something be more special and different than fighting ghosts, witches and applying super-sciency thought to make super-sciency things?”

“There is different and there is weird and dangerous, don’t confuse both things.”

“Aha, now, tell me about Garrett, doesn’t he remind you of someone? You know, with the hunting monsters and all that stuff?”

“I see where you are going and no… Garrett was different, very educated, charming, funny, only heir of a distinguished and wealthy family, has no annoying sisters, he is a very different person to Dipper.”

“If he was all those things, why break up with him?”

“Because suddenly he stopped being all those great things, or at least some.”

“Uh, pretending to be something he isn’t, you know Dipper is not like that.”

“I know, he is a nerdy dork to the chore and that can be seen from miles away.”

“At least he never lies.”

“Sure, never lies but keeps things secret, why he never told us he had sent Alana here? “

“Well, he told you.”

“Yes, but I had to extract that info from him with a corkscrew! Figuratively, of course.”

“Yet he told you, I know that screwed up your date but…”

“Hey, it wasn’t a date, we were just talking, that is all.”

“Sure, sure, and why did you return walking with him to Gravity Falls that night?”

“Just to make sure he wasn’t going to do something stupid like, like running back to Alana! We went through a lot of trouble helping him in that other dimension to let him get killed on our own planet.”

“If you don't like him, why did you invite him here today then?”

“Remember that he invited ME to dinner.”

“And you proposed your fancy club where all your rich friends could see you two together.”

“Yes, a place where I have full control of the environment.”

“Uh, and how that control worked out tonight?”

“Don’t want to talk about it, now let’s concentrate on the task ahead, where can a herd of huge bull-human hybrids be hiding? Keep your eyes open in case we… OH SHHIII…”

“PACIFICA, are you ok?”

Mabel runs to the place she had last seen Pacifica and almost falls down a fifty feet deep gulch, Pacifica is some 6 feet below her, hanging tight to some roots.

“Mabel, HELP! Use your hook thing and pull me up!”

“PACIFICA, grab tight to those roots, let me find some branch or something I can use to pull you up.”

“What about your hook gun?”

“Grunkle Ford updated it, replaced the old rope with a very thin but strong wire, I don’t believe you can grab it without slicing your fingers to ribbons and the hook itself is quite sharp, trust me, I know, I tried to grab the cable once, it was a rainy day and waddles was stuck in a pool of mud and…”

“MABEL, STOP TELLING ME ANECDOTES AND PULL ME UP!”

“Sorry, sorry, I will tell you what happened with Waddles later, now let me see what I can use to get you up here.”

“HURRY UP! These roots are not going to hold for long.”

About a minute later a thick rope almost hits Pacifica’s head.

“About time, is the rope properly secured?”

“Yes, very, very secure. Are you holding tight to the rope?.” Mabel answers.

“Yes, now help me, pull me up and….WHAT THE…?” Pacifica shouts as she is pulled up as if she weighs nothing and seconds later she is staring at a tall, strong and very hairy horned man holding the other end of the rope with a single arm.

“We heard a lady needed help, is that you?”

“Yes, yes, it was me, thanks for the rescue.” Pacifica speaks, putting her feet on the ground. There must be at least a dozen of the bull men in front of her, all of them tall and with bulging muscles. The one who rescued her has a large reddish beard that looks to be the same color and material as the rope used to rescue her.

“Oh, gross.” Pacifica says as she rubs her hands against her jeans.

“She is very grateful for your help.” Mabel says.

“Hah, that was nothing, manotaurs will always help any lady in distress.”

“So, Chutzpar, isn't it? How have you been doing?” Mabel asks.

“We have had better times; we were driven out of our home, captured and experimented with and had our brave leader kidnapped.”

“I am sorry for you.”

“Don’t be, this is all a chance for us to show just how strong and manly we are, we were on our way to free Leaderaur and show those pesky humans that you don’t mess with the manotaurs, ever.”

“YES!” The rest of the manotaurs yell.

“NO!” Pacifica tells them.

“No, why not? Don’t be scared for us, be scared for our enemies, we will crush them!”

“HUH. HUH, HUH!” Shout the other manotaurs while Chutzpar grabs a big log and splits it in two with his bare hands.

“Guys, what Pacifica says is that a frontal attack is not that brave.”

“Wait, what do you mean by that?” Chutzpar asks.

“That is what the bad guys are expecting since they believe you are not courageous enough to prepare for an assault by… training grizzly bears and wild moose to assist you, that is why.”

“It kind of makes sense, that is something only true men would do.” Chutzpar says.

“Mabel is right, training and controlling bears is something only someone really courageous would do.”

Chutzpar looks at Pacifica, and then asks.

“Could you shout for help again?”

“What?”

“That, scream for help… please.”

The rest of the manotaurs surround Pacifica.

“OK guys, this is not funny.” Mabel says.

“Now please, scream.”

Pacifica needs no encouragement as she sees the manotaurs surrounding her.

“HELP, HELP, BIG ANGRY BULL MEN SURROUNDING ME!”

The manotaurs give a step back, gasping, and Chutzpar announces.

“It is her.”

All the other manotaurs nod in agreement.

“Wait, it is me? Who am I… I mean, what that means?” Pacifica asks.

“You are the one who got us captured! We heard you scream for help and we went looking for you, you drove us out of our lair just to be captured by your men!”

“Who, me? Are you crazy? I didn’t do that, no way!”

“We never forget a voice, especially not that of a girl in trouble, it was definitely you.”

“But I haven’t left the town except to help Dipper and Mabel with… stuff, and I never screamed for help.”

“She is right guys, she was with us most of the time.” Mabel tells them.

“Then there is only one explanation: she is a witch.”

“What, me, a witch? No, no, no, I am not a witch.”

“Guys, Pacifica is right, she is not a witch, maybe it was a recording of her.”

“Mabel, there is not and there will never be a recording of me asking for help.” Pacifica replies.

“Then she is a witch.” Chutzpar says.

“Definitely.” The other manotaurs say.

“Wait, wait, I am not a witch!” Pacifica protests.

“That is what a witch would say.”

“Guys, Pacifica is right, she might be a little obnoxious, bratty, snobbish and a show off, but she is not a bad person and definitely not a witch.”

“Thanks for the help, Mabel.” Pacifica says, sounding not that thankful.

“Are you sure? Maybe she has bewitched you.” Chutzpar tells Mabel.

“I am sure, she is not a really bad person, even Dipper likes her.”

“Really?” Pacifica and the manotaurs ask.

“Maybe she has bewitched him too.” A manotaur opines.

“No, no, she hasn’t bewitched him, at least not using magic.” Mabel replies.

“And Dipper, where is him?”

“He is trying to save your big leader, that is where he is.”

“Then we should help him.”

“No, no, he has it all under control.”

“Has he trained his bears and moose already?”

“No, no, he has different strategies.”

“So, training bears and moose are not required?”

“Yes, yes, I mean, Dipper is not a manotaur like you, strong and manly, he is just a nerdy guy, he has to try other things.” Mabel explains.

“Well, he already saved us last week, but I really didn’t like how he saved us.”

“I hated being small and weak.” One manotaur says.

“Do not reveal the way we were rescued, Beardy.”

“Are you telling me what to do, Pituitaur?” Beardy replies and then throws a quick jab at the other manotaur which starts a general fight amongst all the manotaurs.

“Hey, stop it, stop it.” Mabel pleads to no avail.

“Oh, for damn’s sake, STOP IT YOU ALL!” Pacifica screams.

“Hey, the witch said something.” Pituitaur says, as he is being held in a lock by Beardy.

“I AM NOT A WITCH! Do not confuse me with one of those, I only know one witch and I hate her.”

“So, you know a witch?” Chutzpar asks.

“Yes, and she is helping the ones who have your leader prisoner.”

The group of manotaurs stop fighting and get all together and start talking to each other.”

“Hey guys, no secrets.” Mabel tells them.

After some seconds, the manotaurs turn to Mabel and Pacifica and say:

“We have decided to skip the bears and moose and go help Dipper right now; if there is a witch involved then he is surely going to need our help.”

“We told you he has a plan, maybe he can just, I don’t know, smuggle him out of wherever they are holding him?”

Mabel and the other Manotaurs look at Pacifica as if she was crazy.

“Pacifica, Leaderaur is 50 feet tall, I don’t believe Dipper can just disguise him as a walking tree and have him walk out through the back door.” Mabel tells her.

“Maybe he can, I don’t know, use the same strategy he used when he rescued you, which I absolutely know nothing about.” Pacifica shares, a little scared of how the manotaurs could react to the knowledge that she knows they were reduced in size.

“Leaderaur would never submit himself willingly to that affront to his manliness.” Chutzpar informs her.

“It is not any sort of affront; it will be very courageous of his part to submit himself to all the new dangers that imply being rescued the way you were rescued.”

“Being made weak is never a good thing!”

“Well said, Testosteraur!”

Pacifica and Mabel look at each other as if asking; Can you believe these guys?

“It is settled then, we will help Dipper Pines free Leaderaur and then destroy the place he has been held captive and all the humans who get in our way!”

“Wait, you can’t do that.” Pacifica says.

“So, young witch, are you going to get in our way?”

“I am not a… you know what? You can’t call any woman who dares to give you her opinion a witch.”

“Chutzpar, she is spoken exactly like the wiffcow witch that led our females astray.”

“Then she seems like a really nice person, and what is with the term wiffcow? That doesn’t sound very respectful.”

“Wiffcows are our females, what is wrong with us calling them like that?”

“I don’t know, I believe something like Ladytaur sounds better.”

“WITCH; WITCH!!” They all yell.

“I told you, I am not a wiiitchhhhhhhhhhhh!” Pacifica says as she is lifted off the ground by her feet by the enormous paw of Chutzpar.”

“You don’t fool us, we know it was you who helped the bad guys capture us and probably have Dipper under some spell, but we know how to deal with women like you.”

“Guys, GUYS! Pacifica is not a witch, I swear.” Mabel tells them.

“It has also ensorcelled you, Mabel, don’t worry, with the witch gone you will see clearly.”

“Mabel, HELP! HELP! When I see Dipper I am going to kill him for getting me into this!”

“She has threatened to kill Dipper!” A manotaur says.

“Pacifica, please shut up.” Mabel tells her and then says.

“Guys, Pacifica is not a witch, but there is a real witch helping those who have your leader, and also a former werewolf and an evil hunter who probably wants to have you as wall ornaments.”

“But this woman smells like a witch.”

“No, well, I don’t know how a witch smells but she is not a witch, she is a nerdy brat but she just wants to help you.”

“If she is not a witch, why is she so bossy?”

“Because she is rich.”

The manotaurs mumble something amongst themselves and some nod as if being rich is a good explanation for Pacifica’s behavior.

Chutzpar opens his hand and drops Pacifica who falls on her butt in a very undignified way.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch. Well, I am not a witch, aren’t you going to apologize?”

“Pacifica!”

Pacifica stands on her feet and then says:

“Well, you can apologize later, but now what?”

“WE HELP DIPPER FREE LEADERAUR!” All the manotaurs yell.

“Well, we tried.” Pacifica tells Mabel.

“But Pacifica, we can’t let the manotaurs go and get captured again.”

“Right now I am more worried about Dipper being alone with Garrett, Alana and Hunter, and having an army of huge macho bullmen on our side gives me some peace of mind, and it is not like we can force them to obey us, can we?”

“No, it seems like no, we can’t.”

“Then I believe we need to…”

“HELP; HELP!” Someone cries in the distance.

“See, I told you it wasn’t me.” Pacifica says.

“Whoever that was, it sounded a lot like you, Pacifica.” Mabel says.

“But it wasn’t me, I am here, can’t you see that?”

“Manotaurs, that is the cry of the witch who got us into trouble, let’s go and teach her that you can’t mess with the manotaurs.” Chutzpar announces.

The manotaurs all bellow and roar and charge forward and some trees fall and are trampled under their hooves and Pacifica and Mabel follow them.

“So, what is your plan, guys?

“We find the manotaurs and you convince them to join us and that’s it.”

“And how are you planning to find them?”

“I can always sniff them out.” Hunter says and his body starts to grow and turns hairy. His feet and hands grow and from each of his toes and fingers large, rounded claws emerge. His ears turn pointy as his nose and jaws elongate. His canine teeth grow and a fluffy tail emerges from his butt.

“Hunter, you are a werewolf again, but how?”

“He knew the ritual to become a werewolf, and Sonia had some blood samples from the big wolf bosses and that was enough to restore Hunter to his old werewolf self, and now he is even stronger than before.” Alana tells him.

“Hunter, if the manotaurs kill you, can I keep your pelt? I need a rug for my studio.” Hunter asks, to which Hunter answers with a low growl.

“Hunter, better stay here with us, no need to go hunting alone; manotaurs have very acute senses, we can use that in our favor, can’t we, Alana?” Garrett ads.

“Sure we can.” She says as she begins to spray some liquid from a bottle.

“Leaderaur’s sweat, and to reinforce the trap we also have some Ladytaur essence.”

“Hold it, you have seen female manotaurs?”

“Yes, the Ladytaurs. Manotaurs call them wiffcows but you better don’t go calling them that way; they hate it.”

“I can imagine, and you, you didn’t dare to hurt them, did you?” Dipper asks Garrett.

“Oh, no, when hunting, the ethical thing is bagging only the males, they are usually the biggest and more impressive of the species, at least regarding mammals. If I were hunting mermaids, Snakefolk, Mantisoids or Eagle people then yes, the females are the biggest and meanest of the species, but talking about manotaurs the males are the ones who make a better trophy, and besides, the ladytaurs are just really too nice to kill, they are a bunch of truly amiable ladies.” Garrett answers as he starts to assemble his rifle.

“Wait, I said no guns.”

“Yes, but you are not my boss, so...”

“HELP; HELP!” A shout is heard.

“Pacifica, she is in trouble!” Dipper says.

Alana just laughs, puts some herbs in her mouth and then speaks, with a perfect imitation of Pacifica’s voice.”

“Oh, Dipper, worried for my little Northwest arse? How chivalrous of you!”

“Alana, how did you do that?”

“Magic, boy; my witch training was cut short by grandma’s demise but still I know lots of the basics and this is just basic stuff.”

“Alana, stop that right now, you, you have no right to do that.”

“Do what? Speak with my own descendant’s voice? Why? You could use the opportunity to hear some sweet words you must have been aching to hear lately.” Alana says as she approaches Dipper and says to him.

“Oh, Dipper, you are so smart and handsome, I am so in love with you that it hurts, please kiss me and hug me tight, I want to be with you forever.” Alana says while stretching her arms to him and puttering her lips.

“Alana, it is not funny.”

“No? Then why am I laughing?” Alana answers as she bursts in laughter and then says.

“Oh, did I get you nervous? Or excited? Please, I have met the Northwests of yore and I don’t believe the new ones are any different: Preston and her wife are the same type of entitled bastard Nathaniel was, and even if you believe Pacifica is more enlightened than her parents she is still a spoiled rich girl who believes her money and position makes her better than us, better than the poor people who have to work and toil all day just to have something to eat. They look down on us, Mason, they consider us to be less than human or at least a lesser type of human, there is no way she is ever going to feel something for you, and even if you two ever end up together she is never going to consider you her equal, to her it will always be as if she had done you a favor and she will always be pushing you to use your knowledge and wits to become richer and richer so you can be worthy of her Northwest heritage. She probably likes to hang out with you only for the things you have learned and the things you can make and do that she can’t, but the day you give her all you got she is going to leave you, alone and used and that is if she and her family just don’t decide that you are some sort of competition that can’t be allowed to exist and decide to discard you in a more permanent way.”

“Pacifica is not like that.”

“She is, boy, she is and will always be, don’t believe you are magical and can change her in any way, it doesn’t matter how much you like her, she is and will forever be a Northwest.”

“For starters, I have never said I liked her as in…”

“Boy, you can fool yourself but not me or anybody else, you love her, that is obvious, isn’t it guys?”

“Yes.”

“Growl.”

“See, we all know it, even Garrett knows it and he has just met you. I am sure the only reason why you haven’t dropped to your knees and asked her to be your girlfriend is because you believe you are not at her level, isn’t it? You find it impossible for an almighty Northwest to be with someone like you, am I wrong? No, I am not and in some way you are probably right: I have seen how Pacifica interacts with her friends whenever you are near, she doesn’t want them to even think that she might harbor some feelings for you, not even a close friendship, she just wants them to believe that you are just an old acquaintance and that is all.”

“No, no, you are wrong, Pacifica is not…, she is not….”

“Please, you don’t even believe the excuse you were going to give me, isn’t it? Let me tell you this, boy, she is the one who is not at your level, Sonia has told me and even shown me some of the things you have done, the way you have fought against powerful supernatural monsters, the things you have built, the things that you have learned so far, all the brave deeds you did while being just a kid and I am sure there are more things you have done that she doesn’t know about, plenty more notches carved in your knife handle that only you know about; Hunter tells me that werewolves respect you now, the manotaurs respect you and even Sonia seems to respect you and covet what is inside that head of yours.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Dipper asks.

“So you don’t lose your time with that Northwest, so you can start to value yourself at your true worth and finally do something with your life.”

“Sure, as if Sonia is going to allow it.”

“Mason, Sonia is but a temporary obstacle in our lives, she is not eternal, even if she wants to be: it is to young people like us to whom the future belongs.”

“Young like you?” You are older than Garret, Hunter and I together, actually, more than twice as old.”

“Yes, but in a way I am just a 21 year old girl, have been one for more than 150 years, but I am not going to remain young forever now, a bothersome visit which I hadn’t had in all my time in the island just told me that the clock is ticking for me again so I have to think about my future, and I don’t want to be the puppet of Sonia if I can help it.”

“And what I have to do with that?”

“Mason, why don’t you join us? The four of us together, with Garrett’s resources, Hunter’s muscle, my magic and your knowledge, we can shape the world to our liking.”

“Then let me ask this question now; why don’t you join us? My grunkles, my family, my friends and me?”

“You are all too naive: that old man Ford has had the time and the knowledge needed to make himself a millionaire like Fiddleford and yet he is happy just traveling the world putting out little fires here and there while basically remaining unknown, your sister is the kind of person who just wants to see everybody happy and even though she looks like she can have a mean streak once in a while she doesn’t have the heart to do what we might need to do, or to put it more correctly she has too much of a heart to do what might be needed to do.”

“Hey, my sister is perfect the way she is, don’t you dare to…”

“Relax, I don’t think caring for others is bad, no, not at all, but she is more heart than mind, while you are the right combination of both, so what do you say? Don’t you want to hear what I have to propose?”

“My friends, what about them? And what about my Grunkles?”

“I have nothing against your friends or your Grunkles, but for this new world I am planning they will need to be left out.”

“Everybody?”

“Actually I have been thinking about the Corduroy girl and I believe she is a much better match for you than the Northwest girl, you are both from a similar hard-working background, you both know what it is like to be looked down by others, you are both courageous and loyal and you would look so good together, don’t you think?”

“Hold it, has Wendy said that she and I could, could be together?”

“Oh no, it is obvious that she loves you like a little brother, you lived so many things together when you were just a boy while she was already a young lady that an image of you as a mere kid must be deeply ingrained in her mind, but I am sure we can change that, you can change that if you set your mind to it.”

Dipper remains silent for some seconds, thinking: his mind is a whirlwind of different thoughts, all of them revolving around two women: Wendy and Pacifica. In a way, Alana is right, Wendy should be the perfect girl for him, he knows her like he knows no other person not of his family: he knows her mettle, how brave she is because he saw her time and time again face death and impossible danger and she never flinched or took a step back, not when the lives of those she cared for were in danger. He knows how loyal, how funny, good-hearted and incredible she is because she has proved it to him and to the world countless of times while Pacifica, well, she defied her parents to save him and give peace to the lumberjack ghost, but all she had to do was pull a lever; before that moment came she did nothing but antagonize her sister and lie to him. When they faced Mr. What’s his, his, my... the face stealing fiend she proved to be resourceful, cunning and brave, but then again it was her vanity and need to be better than others what led them to confront the monster in the first place. She figured out how to reach Ford and him in the other dimension and even came along with his friends to save both of them, but she also brought a shipful of bad guys with her, the people responsible for their current situation. In a way, Wendy should be an easy choice for him, that is what logic and a piece of his heart tells him, and yet another piece of his heart, a huge chunk of it can only think of a blonde woman whom he once thought smelled of champagne and flowers.

“A penny for your thoughts, Mason.”

“You seem to know a lot about my friends and family.”

“Sonia has very detailed files about you, she has been observing you for a long time.”

“What are you planning to do, exactly? Tell me.” Dipper demands.

“The manotaurs, they are big, strong brutes but they are not bulletproof, at least not without an energy shield spell, a spell you know I can perform, strong enough to repel bullets and even your modern hand.thrown explosives.”

“You might know that spell, but without a source of magical energy you are not going to be able to perform it.”

Alana smiles at Dipper and pulls out a necklace from under her clothes, a necklace consisting of a metallic chain holding a large, purplish stone at its center.

“Alana, is that a piece of the other worldly crystal mountain?”

“Yes, charged for millenia with magical energies, energies I can easily tap into at my pleasure. Sonia’s people brought some of these rocks from my former prison and they have been asking me to teach them how to tap into their power.”

“And you, have you taught them?”

“I am teaching them, but teaching them the slow way, the way I had to learn while I was alone, not the quick way I used to teach you.”

Dipper closes his eyes and remembers that time in that other-dimensional island, Alana’s hand on his, helping him feel the buried power pulsing through that lost place, a thing she did with love and care, just after they had both spent a night together, back when Dipper thought he had found a kindred soul.

“Did I stir some memories?” Alana asks him.

“And once we have impossible to hurt manotaurs, what then?” Dipper asks, eager to change the topic of conversation.

“They save their leader and leave the country and live a long, happy life in Canada with their females.”

“So, the ladytaurs are in Canada?”

“They were there the last time I saw them, but how happy they are going to be when they see their males is something I don’t know.” Garrett informs him.

“What do you win from this?” Dipper asks Alana.

“Mason, I am a prisoner of Sonia as much as you are, but unlike you I am willing to do something about it; for me, for my freedom and for poor McGucket, I liked working for him. Even if I only knew him for a week I could see he was a good person who didn’t deserve what Sonia did to him. The research facility they are using to hold the huge manotaur is a multi-billion dollar investment, if it falls while Sonia is in charge of it that would cause her fall from grace.

“And what about us? Wouldn’t that send us straight to jail?” Dipper asks.

“Oh no, the government really doesn’t want the people to know the real purpose of that building so they are most likely going to want to keep whatever happens to that place secret. Add to that that we and your friends are Sonia’s little secret project, nobody but her inner circle knows the truth about us, that you have secret ultra-advanced knowledge or that I am a witch. She has set a secret trust fund for us that will pay our tuition and even give us good money for expenses until the day we graduate, so we can take her down without imperiling our education, knowing that we are anonymous enough to not go to jail.”

“Alana, what you are proposing sounds incredibly dangerous.” Dipper says, but he is starting to consider it a good idea.

“Yes, it is very dangerous, we can expect tough walls to crack, lots of gun-toting guards and who knows what other surprises when we attack those installations, but tell me, are you happy with your current situation? Do you look forward to being Sonia’s pawn for the rest of your life?

“No.”

“Then help us, convince your manotaur friends to accept my help, Garrett says that the beasts hate witches, but they might allow me to help them with a spell or two if you talk to them.”

“But I don’t want Pacifica and Mabel to get involved in this.”

“And why would they be involved with our little night adventure?” Alana asks.

That moment, a distant rumble can be heard approaching.

“It seems they are coming.” Garrett informs the group.

The sound grows louder and louder until a huge tree falls almost in front of them and they see the manotaurs running and rushing to where they are standing. Dipper sees Pacifica and Mabel grabbing for life to Chutzpar’s neck.

“Hey friends, please stop.” Dipper tells them.

“Look, it is Dipper!” The manotaur called Beardy shouts and everybody stops.

“Look out, there is a werewolf with them!” A manotaur shouts as he pulls out a small tree from the ground and throws it at Hunter, who quickly jumps back, barely dodging the wooden projectile.

“Whoa, whoa, guys, please wait, that werewolf, believe it or not, is on our side.”

“Thank God we found you, Dipper, tell these friends that… wait, is Hunter on our side?” Pacifica asks.

“Yes, yes, we know where Leaderaur is being held…”

“And you can free him without the manotaurs getting involved, isn't it? No need to endanger these fine fellows, they just need to let Dipper work his…”

“...no, we are going to storm that building together, set Leaderaur free and tear down that place brick by brick until nothing remains of it.”

“WHAT?!” Mabel and Pacifica exclaim in disbelief.

“YEAHHH!, HOO; HOO; HOO.” The manotaurs scream as they beat their chest and headbutt each other.

“Dipper, could you explain this?” Pacifica asks.

“Pacifica, Mabel, thanks for your help; Alana, Garrett, Hunter and I will take it from here, you can go back to town, actually, you should go back to town, things might, no, will get really ugly here.”

“Dipper, I believe you didn’t hear me well, I asked you to explain what the hell are you planning to do, not to tell me to go back home after you asked me to get into a dark forest late at night and try to convince a bunch of horned Chads to try to behave rationally.” Pacifica demands.

“Pacifica, you are as pushy as ever.”

“Garrett, you shut up, you have no right forcing Dipper to do whatever you are forcing him to do.”

“Ah, Pacifica, I see you still love to decide for others; well, nice guy Mason here is going to help us not because we are forcing him, he is helping us because he chose too.”

“Is that right Dipper?”

“Pacifica, I… yes, I am going to help them, they have a plan that might be the best chance we have at getting rid of Sonia’s control over us forever.”

“But they work for Sonia! Why would they want to get rid of her?”

“She wants me to do things I don’t feel comfortable doing.” Alana tells Mabel.

“She knows things about me that she uses to blackmail me into doing her bidding, usually at discount rates I wouldn’t offer anybody else.” Garrett shares.

“She might have made me a werewolf again, but she did it just so I could be her new lap dog and I am nobody's dog.” Hunter says, back in his human form just in case the manotaurs feel like throwing another tree at him.

“So, what are you planning to do? Storming what must be a very heavily guarded building all by yourselves? Guys, those people have machine guns! What can you do against them?”

“Pacifica, Alana has a plan.”

“Alana who? The I will kill you Northwests and use Dipper’s brain to host a murderous other-dimensional terrorist Alana?”

“Yes, that Alana.” Dipper answers, sighing.

“Brother, are you serious about this? You might think you have a plan or that these guys have a plan, but you can’t be sure if their plan is really to free Leaderaur or to capture the manotaurs by using your relationship with them, you might be leading them into a trap!”

Dipper takes his hands to his head and rubs his temples: he is now experiencing a really horrible headache caused by the stress of having to make a decision that might change his life forever.

“Mason, we have to hurry; if Sonia believes we are making no progress capturing the manotaurs she might send a team of armed men to check on us, and we don’t want that, do we?” Garrett asks.

“Maybe we can free Leaderaur by ourselves, without getting my friends involved.” Dipper says.

“Just the four of us against Sonia’s forces? Mason, trust me when I tell you that we would need at least a special forces platoon to even have a chance of getting inside that building, forget about freeing someone trapped there. Now if instead of a platoon of human soldiers we had a dozen super strong and invulnerable mythical beasts…”

“Dipper, don’t listen to Garrett, manotaurs are not invulnerable, they can get hurt.”

“We don’t care, pain doesn’t scare us!” Chutzpar replies to Mabel.

“No, they are not invulnerable, but they could be with a little help from a certain spell.”

“Whoa, whoa Dipper, attacking a bunch of soldiers and using our manly chests to stop bullets is ok, but using magic? No, we won’t do it, even if it is you who cast the spell we will never do it.”

“Actually, Alana here is the one who would cast the spell.” Dipper tells Chutzpar.

“Her? Is she a witch? DEATH TO THE WITCH!”

“No, no, NO! Listen to me guys, the person, the woman who has been making your life miserable lately has me and my family captive, and she also is forcing Alana and these other guys to do her bidding through threats and blackmail and I say now that’s enough! I want to go to that building and tear its walls down with my own hands but I can’t do it on my own, I know I need help, any kind of help I can get, of any type. Alana can cast a protective spell around us, so bullets won’t hurt us, she is good at that, casting spells. But all her magic will do her no good without big, strong, manly creatures willing to put their lives on the line and do what needs to be done, so, what do you say guys? Are you willing to work with her?”

“Dipper, we are the manotaurs, our strength is our greatest asset, our strength and our courage, hiding behind magic will only make us weaker.”

“No, with Alana’s spell you will be capable to finally use your strength at its fullest, you will smash, crush and squash with no fear of damage to your body, no fear of pain whatsoever so you will not limit your own strength, you will be able to show the world just how powerful the manotaurs are when they really cut loose.”

The manotaurs mumble something between them and then tell Dipper.

“Manotaurs are not scared of pain and being invulnerable to it feels, I don’t know, somehow unmanly.” Chutzpar tells them.

“Alana, can you make your spell in such a way that they can feel pain?” Dipper asks.

“Sure, I can have the spell protect them from bullets and impacts and at the same time react to the attacks in a way that will make the manotaurs feel the pain of the attack, but I am not sure these creatures can stand that kind of pain.”

“Witch, you dare to doubt our manliness? Show me what you got!” Chutzpar tells Alana.

Alana pulls out her otherworldly stone and starts chanting:

“Stick and stonus no brake my bonus, hard as rockus, hamster ballus.” She says and a sphere of energy surrounds Chutzpar.

“Witch, this looks as if I am cowardly hiding inside this ball, this will not do!” Chutzbar shouts.

“Garrett, please.” Alana asks his friend who takes a step forward, points his enormous rifle at Chutzpar and shoots at him, with both barrels. When the sphere of energy receives the impacts little bolts of lighting from inside the sphere shoot out and hit Chutzpar, who yells and kneels down as if affected by the most horrible pain.

“See, you are unhurt but I don’t believe you can withstand that kind of pain.” Alana tells the magicked manotaur.

“How was it?” Beardy asks Chutzpar.

“The pain, it was unlike any pain I had ever felt before, so pure, so intense, so…”

“Manly?” Beardy finishes the sentence for him.

“Yes, only an exceptionally manly creature like a manotuar could hope to withstand that kind of pain.”

“I want to be that manly too!” Another manotaur yells and soon all manotaurs are surrounded by a spell of crackling energy.

“Now, let’s get moving, that building is not going to demolish itself.” Hunter says as he becomes a werewolf again.

As the group starts moving Pacifica grabs Dipper.

“Dipper, wait, you can still stop this madness, it is not too late.”

“Pacifica, Mabel, please go back to town, we will meet there tomorrow when the deed is done.”

“For Waddles sake Dipper, stop! People are going to get hurt, maybe even die, you can’t be a part of this craziness! You are my bro, my sweet, dorky bro, not Indiana Jones.”

“Mabel, what I am is tired of being in constant fear of being thrown into a secret prison where I will be forced to craft dangerous stuff for Sonia until the day I die, of having threats of hurting you used to make me work for evil people, that is not the kind of life I want for me or you, I need to do something about it, and I need to do it now.”

“Please Dipper, at least wait until Ford and Stan are back to do this.”

“Can I expect them to be here tonight? No, I can’t and I am doing this for them too: they are not young and I can’t believe that spending the last years of their lives being forced to work against their will for that crazy woman is something they are happy for.”

“Damn it Dipper, this has gone too far, come with us now and let those crazy bulls and Alana and her two stooges handle Sonia, you have done your part, you don’t need to risk your life tonight.”

“Pacifica, I have to, I have to make sure the manotaurs make it out of this night alivel, I helped convince them to attack Sonia and her men, I can’t just abandon them now.”

“Damn it Dipper, how can you do this?”

“Because it needs to be done, now go back to town, I will see you tomorrow.”

“Is there no way I can convince you to come back with me to town and leave all this madness behind?” Pacifica asks.

“No, there is none.” Dipper asks and Pacifica stands there, too shocked to even move: she can see that Dipper is in pain, moral pain, his mind full of thoughts buzzing around like angry bees inside a shed, bees with sharp venomous stingers and razor blades for wings, tearing his very soul to shreds, and at the same time she can see something she had never seen in him before, it is not confidence, it goes beyond that, it is resolve, pure, steel hard resolve to take things as far as they need to, where did he get that resolve from, from whom, could it had been from Alana? No, no way, she, Pacifica, is the one, the only one who should be able to… to….”

Dipper hugs Mabel tight, and then approaches Pacifica and gives her a short, sweet kiss on her forehead.

“We will see tomorrow.” He says as he starts running after the moving manotaurs.

“Oh my God, he kissed you!” Mabel says, looking at her with starry eyes, or so Pacifica thinks she says, as she wonders how that clueless, dorky, idiot Dipper dared to kiss her on the forehead when her lips were just some inches below.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, how could I have thought that kissing Pacifica was a good idea? Now she is never going to want to see me again!” Dipper thinks, his mind a dumpster fire of negative thoughts.

“At least I kissed her on the forehead, I can say that I see her as a sister, yes I can do that, thank heavens I didn’t kiss her on her lips as I wanted to.”

He reaches the manotaurs and sees them marching encased inside their energy shields, and then sees the building they are about to attack; a large, dark mass of concrete with small windows and thinks that maybe he should have kissed Pacifica on the lips in case things go really wrong and he never sees her again.

“Having doubts, Mason?” Alana asks him.

“This thing needs to be done, freeing Leaderaur and freeing us from Sonia, but I don’t want people hurt if I can help it, most of the guys in Sonia’s employment are probably married and have kids, I don’t want to destroy any family, not tonight, not ever.”

“Well, they are not just going to open the gates of that compound, let us free you manotaur friend and then destroy the building themselves, are they? Violence is a reality of life, it was back then when I was just a young woman as it surely is now. I have been reading and watching documentaries about what happened during the century and a half I was out of this world and I have to say that mankind surely outdid itself regarding brutality during those years.”

“It has always been brutal, we just managed to take human slaughter to new levels thanks to mechanization.”

“So not only society agrees that violence is needed, it has invented easier ways to deliver it.”

“Violence is never good.”

“For a pacifist you riled up your manotaur friends pretty well.”

“Yes, and now I need to calm the waters a little, hey, guys, wait!”

The manotaurs stop and look at Dipper.

“What now Dipper, time to tell us your plan?”

“Guys, I just want to ask you to not roughen up the people we are going to fight too much.”

“Why not? They captured us, have Leaderaur captive and want to capture us again.” Chutzpar says.

“They even took some blood from me!”

“Yes, Testosteraur, they took blood from lots of us, and the only needles a true manotaur tolerates are those used to make awesome macho tattoos on our bodies.”

“But guys, when we are fighting those people, look at them, so small, so weak, so punny, surely hurting someone so weak will not make you look good, will it?”

“But they have guns!” Someone tells Dipper.

“Yes, but they can't kill you now that you are protected, sure, they can make you feel pain, horrible pain but that doesn’t scare you, does it?”

“Well no, a true manotaur fears no pain, but they, those men deserve some kind of punishment.”

“Yes, they do, but maybe not something permanent.”

“So, can we break some limbs?”

“Sure, sure, but just breaking, don’t tear them out of the body, please.”

“And what about ribs, how many ribs can we break?” Beardy asks.

“A couple would be ok.”

“Cranial fractures?”

“Whoa, whoa, go lightly on those, if they end up dumb or amnesiac how are they going to tell about the terror and awe they felt when you attacked them?”

The manotaurs nod in agreement and then Chutzpar says.

“OK, you heard Dipper, we go light on those guys so they can tell their friends how terrible, macho and awesome we are, is that clear?”

“HOO; HOO; HOO.” The manotaurs shout in agreement.

“Now what, Mason?” Alana asks.

“So, have any of you been inside that building?” He asks.

“No.” Garrett answers.

“No.” Hunters adds.

“I was once, when it was nothing but a wooden hut back in 1859, so I guess I haven’t been there either.” Alana tells him.

“Garrett, what can you tell me about that building, just by seeing it?” Dipper asks.

“It is a large, square building, 40 meters tall at most, small windows, too small for a manotaur to go through, walls seem to be made of thick concrete, access doors seem to be reinforced steel. There is a large door, some 20 meters tall, probably made of steel too, and the only way in for something as big as a manotaur.”

“Yes, and probably easier to breach than those walls.”

“Yes, but still they are too tough, if not made of steel they are reinforced with it, even a group of manotaurs hitting it might take too long to take it down.”

“I know that; Alana, can you do your lightning thing while still protecting the manotaurs?”

“Sure, it will demand my complete concentration but I am very good at casting lighting, I have a century of practice after all.”

“Chutzpar, have some of your people carry a large tree trunk, we are going to ram that door.”

“Good plan, Dipper; you heard the man, and that old oak there seems to be just what we need.” Chutzpar says as the manotaurs push and take down an old, almost dead tree.

“We will need some large rocks too.” Dipper asks Chutzpar and the manotaurs pick up some large rocks with them, hundreds of kilograms heavy.

“Mason, that door seems to be really tough, it will take a lot of time to take it down, even if there are manotaurs ramming it with a sturdy oak tree and hitting it with rocks.”

“I know Garrett, but that door seems to have a lot of steel in it, and steel becomes brittle under low temperatures.” Dipper answers as he pulls out his freezing gun.

“Now, the amount of energy I will need to use will probably render my gun useless for the rest of the night, so we are going to have to move fast.” Dipper says as he starts moving some dials on his pistol.

“Mason, I see some 0.50 caliber machine guns on the buildings roof, and I am damned if those tubes are not mortars, if your plan doesn’t work we are going to be trapped under a lot of heat.” Garrett tells him, sounding a little bit worried for the first time in the night.

“Then this will work, it has to.” Dipper answers as he places his gun tight against a notch on a large rock and secures it with another large rock on top of it, while pulling out his cell phone.

“OK guys, when I activate the gun we are going to give away our position, so as soon as you see the stream of heat-stealing energy hit the door we rush towards it. Don’t touch the stream coming out of the gun, it will immediately freeze you, and not like trapping you in ice, no it will freeze all the liquids in your body, causing cellular bursting and complete tissue damage, it will kill you on the spot, so be careful.”

“Mason, are we sure we want to do this? That building seems to be really big, and it has lots of armed goons protecting it, maybe we should think of some other thing, something safer.”

“Hunter, it is now or never, and besides, I promised the manotaurs to help them free their leader and I am not going back on my word, if you feel this is too dangerous for you please go back to town and wait for us there.”

Hunter just sighs as he wolfs-up again.

“Mason, I never thought you had it.” Alana tells him, sounding a little bit impressed.

“I am not doing this to impress you.”

“I know, nevertheless you are managing to do it, maybe you are not the lame thing I took you to be.”

“I am glad you have a better opinion of me, now, are you sure you can protect us and shoot lighting at the same time?”

“I told you I can, but it will demand all my attention, I can’t do both things while running.”

“Then I will carry you, we need to disable those big guns on the roof if we expect to succeed tonight.”

“I am a good shot, and with this baby I am sure I can leave some of those big guns you are so worried about out of commission.” Garrett tells the group.

“Just do it if you can do it without hurting people, am I clear? Alana will be our main offensive asset until the manotaurs get within punching range.”

“Yes, Mason, yes.” Garrett says and then murmurs to himself.

“Gee, who made you the boss of this attack?” As he sets his sights on the machine guns on the building’s roof.

Dipper presses the screen on his phone and the freezing pistol shoots a steady stream of energy right at the big door. Everybody runs towards the building amongst a hail of small arms fire while Alana, being carried by Dipper, shoots back with lighting of her own.

The building grows larger and larger as they approach it. Dipper sees his freezing gun stop working and for a moment he is worried; if the first assault fails there will be no chance to regroup and make another plan, the manotaurs will have to tear down the skin tearing cold door with their bare hands under heavy fire, and do it while feeling horrible pain. But Dipper’s doubts dissipate as at the first contact with makeshift ram the manotaurs are carrying the huge door shatters as if made of glass. They enter the building and see a large storage area, and at its center Leaderaur is lying on the floor, large heavy chains holding him. The manotaurs all enter the building and start mashing the chains with the large rocks they are carrying. Armed men start to pour out of doors around the area, if they are going to be betrayed by Alana and her friends this would be the moment. Dipper grabs his magnetic gun and presses it against Alana’s back.

“Now, don’t stop protecting us or I will pull the trigger, I swear I will do it.”

“Mason, I know how that thing works, Sonia explained it to me, it will do me no harm.”

“Are you sure? The chain holding your crystal is made of metal, how would you feel if I activated my pistol and made that chain go through your chest and heart?”

Alana smiles.

“What is so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing, I am thinking that maybe I misread you completely, or most likely, my first impression of you, back in that wild island was correct. Don’t worry, I am not going to leave you or your friends unprotected, we will see this through together.”

Dipper is working hard to try not to shake, did he just threatened Alana with murder of a most gruesome nature?

Leaderaur’s chains finally break and the big manotaur is now free. There is a line of manotaurs standing in front of their fallen leader, shielding him with their magically protected bodies and shouting threats at the incoming guards who, seeing the big black horned humanoid free and standing up stop on their tracks and turn back.

“Yes, run, run you cowards.” Chutzpar shouts as the other manotaurs cheer and stomp the ground with their mighty feet, but Dipper doesn’t share their enthusiasm; the guard’s retreat was calm and orderly, it wasn’t a panicked retreat but something more akin to a strategic move.

“Great Leader, mightiest of us, you are finally free, it is time for you to come with…”

Beardy can’t finish the sentence for Leaderaur has just swatted him away with a slap from his mighty hand.

“Leader, what have you…”

Testosteraur is the next to be sent away, this time by a kick from his leader. Dipper takes a look at Leaderaur and sees his eyes look blank and unblinking. On top of the huge manotaur he sees a weird looking metallic contraption, a kind of steel hat from which wires going to different parts of the manotaur’s body are attached.

“Chutzpar, move! Leaderaur is being controlled by our enemies!” Dipper shouts.

“But how? Leaderarur would never let anybody tell him what to do.”

“Leaderaur is not even conscious right now, the bad guys are just moving his body with that thing on his head, we need to get out of this building or in this closed space Leaderaur is going to squash us all.”

Dipper just lifts Alana in his arms and starts running, followed by the manotaurs.

“Alana, will your shield hold against something as powerful as that beast?”

“It might hold up to one of his strikes, but no more than one, but don’t worry, I can blast that hat with my power and…”

“No! If some of those wires reach Leaderaur's brain you might end up killing him, we need another strategy, this rescue attempt will fail if we can’t carefully remove that remote control device from him, we need to pin him down somehow and… are you on your phone?”

“Yes, calling a friend.”

“Do you have a friend who can help us with this?”

“Yes we do, I was hoping there would be no need to get him involved, but things seem to be getting quite complicated for us, so…”

Flood lights are turned on somewhere close in the forest, and instants later those lights rise up above the tree line illuminating the chaotic scene around Dipper and the manotaurs.

“Do you have a friend who owns a giant robot? Oh, no, don’t tell me you got McGucket involved in this mess, he doesn’t need that.”

“Hey, he offered his help and it is not like we don’t need it, or how were you planning to get that manotaur pinned down?”

That moment a voice emerges from the big robot’s loudspeakers:

“Hey bro, look who we bumped into while we were following you and your friends.”

“Mabel, is that you?”

“Yes, look; I am inside a giant robot again.”

“Is Pacifica safe?”

“I am here, dork.”

“Ah, hi Pacifica, about what happened tonight, I am… well, I didn’t….”

“We will talk about that later, now we need to rescue you... again, and is there a reason why is that witch in your arms?”

Dipper just drops Alana, who just like Pacifica did earlier that night falls on her butt in a very undignified way.

“Oh, sorry, I just... we just… it is complicated.”

As silently as a multi ton giant beast can move Leaderaur takes a step towards the robot and the robot moves to face him square on. Leaderaur throws a punch that the robot intercepts and then throws a punch of its own, which in a similar way Leaderaur catches. The huge manotaur and the robot are now holding captive each other’s hands, but then Leaderaur bends his neck and uses his good horn to stab the robot on its chest.

“Girls, can you take the controls for some minutes? I need to check the damage.” McGucket's voice can be heard through the loudspeakers.

“WHAT!” Pacifica exclaims.

“WooHoo! Giant robot! Mabel can be heard saying.

“Alana, that antenna, can you zap it?” Dipper asks and seconds later a whip of energy hits an antenna standing on top of the big building’s roof that immediately starts to smoke.

“Damn it, it doesn’t seem like that was controlling Leaderaur.” Mabel, can you hold Leaderaur still? I am going to climb him and see if I can disconnect that mind controlling hat he is wearing; the manotaur is not in control of his actions so please don’t hurt him.”

“I will do my best brother.” Mabel answers.

Dipper starts climbing the huge manotaur, his long hairs and bristles helping him greatly in that endeavour. As he reaches the top of the manotaur he starts to check the device on top of his head, trying not to think about how far below the ground is.

Leaderaur shakes his head, almost throwing Dipper into the forest.

“Mabel, I need you to keep Leaderaur still!”

“I am trying Dipper, but he is not… damn it, what is the word?”

“Accommodating.” Pacifica is heard saying.

“Uh, that word is better than what I wanted to say.”

“Mabel, let’s do this together, I know a move that could work. ” Pacifica says.

“Damn it.” Dipper says to himself. “If I was piloting that robot I could try one of the takedowns uncle Stan taught me and… WHOAAA!”

The robot locks one of his legs behind the manotaur’s knee and pushes, taking it to the ground and almost smashing Dipper under it. Now the robot is holding the big manotaur under it in a controlling position. Dipper looks up and the robot’s control cabin is just in front of him, and he can see Pacifica and Mabel watching him.

“Hi bro, how are you doing?” Mabel asks.

“I think fine, considering that, miraculously, I wasn’t squashed like a bug when you two took Leaderaur down.” Dipper says to them, a little bit angry.

“I thought you wanted us to hold it for you, Dipper.” Pacifica responds.

“A little warning could have been helpful.”

“Like you like to warn people before you do things, isn’t it?”

“Uh, Pacfica, what I did early tonight, I know it was bad.”

“Yeah, you can say that, but what you did later was worse, why were you carrying Alana in your arms?”

“I needed to carry her so she could focus her magic better, that is all.”

“And when you dropped her I am sure you gave her a little warning before doing it.”

“Pacifica, understand, we needed her thinking of nothing else but keeping up the shields she casted on the manotaurs, people are shooting at us.” Dipper tells her as bullets bounce off the robot’s metallic skin.

“Sure, focused, and speaking of focus tell me at least that you can remove that mind-control hat on your bullman.”

“No, at least not without hurting Leaderaur badly, we need to find out from where they are sending their signal and…. oh, I see.”

“What dork?”

“Look up, there is a helicopter above us, say, Pacifica, are you mad at me?”

“I am having an internal debate with myself about the merits of stepping on you with this little robot.”

“Good.”

“What, is that good?”

“Sure, say, instead of stepping on me, how about throwing me?”

“What, are you crazy?”

“No, whoever is controlling Leaderaur needs to do it from a position from which they can see the complete fighting ground, and what better place to do that than from way high up?”

“Are you seriously asking me to throw you at that chopper above us? Are you nuts?”

“No, not nuts, with my magnetic gun I can easily hold on to that helicopter and…”

“Dipper, modern helicopters are made of aluminum and carbon fiber, your gun is not going to work on that thing.”

That moment a panel on the robot’s chest opens and McGucket can be seen inside, tangled in what seems to be miles of cable.

“I know that model of flying bathtub, it is an old one, mostly aluminum but with an undercarriage made of toughy steel, Dipper’s plan might work.” McGucket tells them.

“Good, can your machine throw me that high?”

“Sure it can! Pacifica, limit the arms power to 52.7% and then throw Dipper at the chopper.”

“But, but, I can’t.. what if I miss and Dipper ends up falling to his death, or if I overshoot my throw and he ends up becoming mincemeat as he hits the blades?”

“You will not miss, I know it.” Dipper tells her.

“Dipper, I… I can’t.”

“Yes you can, and besides there is no other option unless Alana knows some anti gravity spell… hmm, didn’t she levitate when she was attacking you while in the other dimension? Maybe she can…”

Dipper is lifted off the ground by the robot’s massive hand and swiftly thrown at the helicopter.

“Damn it, I was serious about asking Alana for help!” Dipper says as he shoots upward, each second closer to the helicopter. He is some 10 meters below the helicopter when his momentum ends and for a second he stands still mid-air, as if floating, just to then shoot upwards again and stick to the belly of the machine.

“Hello Mason, nice of you to visit us.” Trigger greets him, carefully looking under the chopper through the side door.

“Hello Trigger, could you be kind enough to free Leaderaur from your control? He can’t be that happy being a mindless drone.”

“Negative, that beast is too valuable for us.”

“Then you leave me no choice.”

“No choice to do what? It is not like you can climb inside our chopper from where you are, and even if you could do that, there are three very skilled spec-ops operatives with me who would love to throw you back down to the forest.”

“Say, Trigger, do you know what an EMP is?”

“Sure, and electro-magnetic pulse, a sudden burst of electromagnetic energy that can… wait, you wouldn’t!”

Dipper finishes moving a dial on his gun and then pulls the trigger.

“Ha, that will certainly fry the machine you are using to control Leaderaur.” Dipper says as the helicopter’s rotor slows its spin.

“You didn’t think this thoroughly, did you?” Trigger asks.

“I was hoping that the pulse would not be strong enough to fry the chopper’s circuits.”

“Seriously, do you know how old this model is? We need to hot-wire it to get it started!”

“Shit, but your pilot is skilled enough to take us down safely, isn’t he?”

“Yes, she is...and there she goes.” Trigger says as one figure jumps out of the chopper and after falling some twenty meters pulls a strap on her suit and small wings are deployed between her arms and legs and she initiates a controlled glide down.

“See you later Mason, I wish I could say it was nice meeting you, but lately some of my old memories have come back and there is an event regarding some zombies that makes me think that meeting you wasn’t really that nice.” Trigger tells him as he jumps off the chopper, followed by three other men and soon Dipper sees five shadows safely gliding down to the forest below.

“Well, this sucks.” Dipper thinks until he remembers that he is wearing a similar suit himself, but, is it really the same kind of suit?

He looks down as the chopper starts losing altitude and well, it will be easier to survive falling to the forest from this altitude if there is not a big metal machine falling on top of him, or well, if not really easier at least more likely so he turns off the magnetic pistol and let’s go. Two seconds later he pulls the strap on his suit, thinking how stupid he is going to feel if it is just an inflatable life vest but luckily for him a thin resistant membrane of fabric emerges from it’s sides, and seconds later he is doing his best imitation of a flying squirrel.

“This is cool, I am going to have uncle Ford craft me a suit like this.” He thinks untils he realizes that having a piece of gear and knowing how to use it are two different things.

“Damn it, I am falling too fast.” He says as he sees the treetops quickly approaching, and he can barely open his eyes due to the wind hitting them.

“Goggles, goggles need to go with this suit.” He thinks and makes a mind note to equip any future gliding suit with those. Now, not having goggles is the least of his worries, even if he survives this fall he is going to end up with lots of broken bones if he does nothing to help himself, he needs to make his descent more horizontal but at his current altitude it is too late for that, that is unless…

He activates his magnetic gun at maximum power and aims it at the huge metallic robot carefully and tenderly keeping Leaderaur on his feet and patting his back. He can feel the pull of the gun and how it is helping him break his fall, he is no longer falling more or less like a rock with a sheet of paper attached to it, now he is really gliding! He turns off his gun and the sensation is amazing! He has been an incorporeal spirit before, effortlessly floating but this is completely different; as a spirit his senses had been disconnected from his environment, now his senses are working in overdrive, registering even the slightest sensation; the wind on his face, the weight of his body as it darts and moves through the air, the smell of the forest, of the trees, of the gunpowder, the ozone of Alana’s attacks, the way some guys have probably emptied their bowels during the fight, and man, that is gross!

Dipper shouts with excitement just to almost completely swallow what appears to be a little moth because it flutters and squirms inside his mouth.

“Puagh, aack!” Dipper gags and spits the pieces of the still moving bug, only to realize that maybe he is no longer falling fast, but he is moving forward very fast. He tries to stop his speed but losing speed also means losing altitude and if he doesn’t want to crash against a tree the only open space available is around the building where the combat seems to have stopped. He decides to risk it and starts braking, trusting in using his magnetic gun to stop his fall once he is close enough to McGucket's robot but as he is about to deploy his gun a huge metallic hand catches him.

“Nice catch McGucket.” Dipper says.

“McGucket? I am not McGucket.”

“Oh, Paz, it is you, then thanks for the catch, not that I couldn’t have….AAAGH!”

The huge metallic paw closes tight against him as Pacifica says.

“Damn it Dipper, what were you thinking, that stunt was utterly stupid!”

“Stupid? It was you who threw me at the helicopter!”

“But only because you can be so, so… infuriating sometimes.”

“Well, what is done is done, and it worked, it worked, didn’t it?”

“Yes, I was fighting that enormous brute when he suddenly went down on his knees as if someone had turned off his power switch. His people are seeing to him now.”

“Good, and what about the fight?”

“Once they saw they had lost their big horned slave, the guards decided that maybe they were not being paid enough to continue fighting.”

“Good, so, we won?”

“Yes we did.”

“That is amazing! And wait, what is that sound? Are those sirens?”

“A gunfight with lighting bolts and big explosions happened close to a Country Club full of mega rich people, it surprises me that the police wasn’t here like ten seconds after this mess began.”

“Cool, now, could you please put me down?”

“I don’t know, it feels kind of nice having you like this, like you are like my big little doll.”

“Action figure.”

“Yeah, action, maybe you went a little bit overboard with the action tonight.”

“Come on, it wasn’t that dangerous.” Dipper says just as the spinning out of control helicopter crashes and explodes at the distance.

“Now, can you please put me down? I don’t think my ribs can take your grip any longer.”

Pacifica obliges and Dipper is put carefully on the ground as a hatch on the robot’s leg opens and Mabel goes running to him.

“Dipper, I can’t believe it, you did it!”

“No, we did it together.”

“Together? No, thanks! I am speaking about kissing Pacifica, not all this manotaur kerfuffle.”

“Oh, that, is she mad at me? I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea, now she is probably not going to want to see me ever again.”

“Brother, for someone so smart you can be so stupid sometimes.”

“I know, I shouldn’t have done that, I will apologize to her and...”

“Dipper Pines! How can you be so, so…. AARGH, let me tell you this straight so it can get inside that thick skull of you, Pacifica….”

“I what?” Pacifica asks, walking out of the robot.

That moment Garrett, Alana and Hunter, together with the manotaurs approach Dipper.

“Mason Pines, that was the craziest, dumbest, bravest thing I have ever seen, and I have seen lots of crazy, stupid, brave things in my life.” Garrett says.

“Hooray for Dipper!” A manotaur says and a megaloud cheer fills the air.

“Yeah, it was fine.” Is Hunter’s comment as he puts on a t-shirt and finishes dressing up.

“Mason, I still can’t believe you dared to do that… or that someone dared to do that to you. Who was crazy enough to throw you to an almost certain death? I can’t believe McGucket would do something so potentially lethal.” Alana aks.

“It wasn’t me.” McGucket is heard answering from inside the robot.

“No, not me.” Mabel says when everybody turns to see her.

“Well, I shouldn’t be surprised.” Alana says, looking at Pacifica.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Pacifica asks, locking eyes with the young looking old witch while grabbing Dipper’s arm.

“You can interpret it as you wish. Now, I believe this place is going to soon be flooded by police and media people; by now all the scaredy cats with more money than guts must have demanded all available security forces to come and check that whatever it is they were hearing when we were fighting is not going to get close to their fancy Country Club, so we better get moving unless we want to be answering questions we don’t really want to be answering.” Alana tells them.

Leaderaur approaches Dipper, kneels in front of him and says.

“I remember you, you are the kid who failed his test to be declared a man years ago.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter now, I am just glad everybody is fine.”

“Chutzpar told me that you helped them escape when they were in captivity, thanks for helping my people be free, and for helping them free me, tonight, Dipper Pines, you have become a man and gained the right to be called brother.”

The manotaurs hoot, stomp the ground and bellow with a single voice, and the sound is amazing and, being honest, more than a little terrifying.

“Thanks men, shame I didn’t bring a size altering crystal, that would have been a safer choice.”

“Dipper Pines, there is no such thing as a size altering Crystal.” Leaderaur says, a little angry.

“Yes, oh manly leader, they exist, Dipper used them to…”

“I SAID THEY DON’T EXIST! And whoever says otherwise will end up being my afternoon snack, is that clear?” Leaderaur asks, fire shooting from his nostrils.

Chutzpar and the rest of his people nod in assent and then they say goodbye and get into the forest, claiming that this time they are really not going to stop until they reach Yukon.

“See you later, Mason, let’s hope that tonight’s adventure ends up being the thing that breaks the chains that have been holding us. Old man, we will be in touch.” Alana says, first to Dipper and then to McGucket who is still inside the robot.

“Sure, remember I will always be glad to help you in any way… and speaking of help, I might need a hand here.” McGucket answers, still trapped inside his machine.

Dipper, Pacifica and Mabel say goodbye to McGucket who has dropped them close to the main road and then gets back into the cover of the forest, where his robot is harder to see.

“Well, that makes me feel a lot better, knowing that McGucket is alright, and even a little bit back to his normal Fiddleford personality.”

“I don’t know bro, I kind of liked the kooky Old Man McGucket.” Mabel says as her Trius stops in front of them.

“Wait, who is driving your car?” Pacifica asks.

“The car.” Mabel answers as she sits behind the wheel.

“So, your car has self-driving technology good enough to come all the way from Singularity Hollow to this twisty little road to pick us up?”

“Yes Paz, Ford developed it and Dipper fine tuned it.”

“Really?”

“Yes, well, the electrolls helped me a little.” Dipper says.

“So, girl, where do you want me to take you?” Mabel asks.

“I left my car parked at the Club and I would like to go get it; mom wants me to have breakfast tomorrow with them and Garrett and I don’t want to have any reason to be near that club tomorrow.”

Some minutes later Mabel lifts her hands off the steering wheel and says as the car makes a tight curve by itself.

“Look, no hands!”

“Wow, what that guy Tusk would give for this tech.” Pacifica comments.

“Yes, I know, and what kind of last name Tusk is?”

“I don’t know, maybe it is common in Africa, you know, with the elephants and all.”

“Kinda makes sense.”

“Dipper, you know that if you decided to sell this technology you would be crazy rich, don’t you?”

“He knows, Pacifica, but, I don’t know, it might be dangerous, one day back in California someone hit the car with a shopping cart and I came back to find my car pinning the poor guy responsible against a wall, engine revving like crazy, that is why I don’t normally activate it.” Mabel shares.

“I should have known that something your brother helped create would be dangerous.” Pacifica remarks.

“Hey, not everything I do or create or go to has to be dangerous.”

“Really Dipper? Give me an example.”

Dipper thinks for a few seconds and is ready to give Pacifica a couple of examples when he realizes that it is not going to be that easy, of all the things he has done there is only one that has not exploded, destroyed something or gained consciousness and tried to conquer the world.

“Hmmh, I created my food analyser, you put something inside of it and it will tell you if it is edible or what would it take to make it safe to eat, very useful to have when you are exploring places far away from a supermarket or alien dimensions.”

“Dipper, that is actually useful… so tell me, how did it try to kill you?”

“No, it has never tried to kill me, it has saved my life a couple of times even.”

“If it is so amazing, why haven’t you taken it to market? It could make you a millionaire like McGucket.”

“Because it works using a strange metallic alloy that can only be made under pressures equivalent to those of a star, that is why, and I can’t reveal to the general public that there is a buried spaceship hidden under Gravity Falls carrying some crates of that wonder metal, can I?”

“And what is the best thing you could do with our current technology?”

“I guess I could make a functional similar machine, but it will be bigger and heavier than the one I have created; while the alien based one is slightly smaller than a lunch box, an Earth tech version would need to be, I don’t know, as large as a backpack.”

“Dipper, that is really not that big! Maybe that is your ticket to, to…”

“To what?”

“Well, to financial freedom. Now that Sonia is probably royally pissed off with you and thinking of cutting off whatever money she is giving you, that tech could help you stay here, in my college, I mean, if you want to and like it here.”

“Alana said that the thing we did today will probably bring disgrace to Sonia, the kind of disgrace that could force her to resign and that we, my sister, Wendy, Alana and Hunter are not a part of her plans known to her superiors, that the money used to pay for our tuition comes from a secret account that will keep paying for our stay here until we graduate, so, in a way, we have a kind of secret scholarship that we can enjoy if we are not sent to jail.”

“I will never let them send any of you to jail.” Pacifica says, which earns her a smile from the Pines’ twins.

“Well, here we are.” Mabel says, stopping behind Pacifica´s car.

“Paz, thanks for everything, and could you make me a favor? Please take care of my 160 dollars shirt.”

“Dipper, it is inside the men’s locker room, a distinguished lady like me can’t be seen entering such a place, but if you want to go pick it up I can grant you access to the club.” Pacifica answers him.

“Alright, Mabel, please wait for me.” Dipper tells her sister.

Minutes later Dipper is once again in the club’s parking place, and as he approaches her sister’s car Mabel accelerates and shouts to him.

“Sorry bro, emergency, see you tomorrow!”

“What the…?” Dipper says as Mabel’s car disappears in the distance.

“So, dork, it seems like you need a drive back to your room.” Pacifica says to him, lowering her car’s window.

“Yes, it seems like.” Dipper tells her.

He climbs into the car.

“Do you know what is wrong with my sister?” Dipper asks as Pacifica drives out of the club.

“Who knows what goes inside Mabel’s head? Well, probably unicorns, rainbows, sugar and things like that.”

“No, not unicorns, unless she is dreaming of punching them.”

“You are going to have to tell me about those unicorns some day.”

“Better ask Mabel about that, she is the expert in unicorns.”

“So, you are not the expert in all the weird creatures that live around here?”

“Well, I can’t be an expert in everything.”

“Oh, humility from Mr. Know it all.”

“Look who's talking, MIss Perfect Northwest.” Dipper says, but neither of them say those things in a way that can be interpreted as hostile, as a matter of fact they are both smiling for some reason, that is until Pacifica’s face suddenly turns serious and says.

“Dipper, we have to talk about what happened tonight.”

“Yeah, it was a crazy night, it had everything; mythical creatures, evil henchmen, giant robots, magic…”

“No, we don’t need to talk about those things, we need to talk specifically about what you did to me.”

“Pacifica, I am sorry if I forced you to throw me, but...”

“Dipper, you kissed me.”

“Oh, that, you were talking about that! Well, that was, it was, it was nothing, in these last weeks you have become somehow my best friend and, tonight, it was, was, I don’t know, I felt like… damn it, it was something innocent, I swear, you are like a sister to me and…”

“A sister?,Really, Mason?”

“Yes, that kiss, it meant nothing.”

“Damn it Mason!” Pacifica says as she suddenly leaves the road and drives deep into the forest. Dipper clenches his teeth and sinks his nails deep into the seat as they rush mere inches away from huge trees and rocks until Pacifica brakes and stops the car mere feet away from a cliff overlooking the valley.

“Get out, Mason, GET OUT!”

Mason steps out of the car, thinking that this time he has really screwed up and thinking about the long walk home when he hears the driver’s side door open and sees Pacifica walking towards him as the sky starts to get lighter with the approaching day.

“Pacifica, I thought you were going to abandon me here.” He says.

“I am still considering it, but no, no, I just need to focus my thoughts and I can’t do that while driving.” She says as she walks towards Dipper, who takes a step back from her, and then another until his back is against the trunk of a large, old tree.

“Now, I am going to ask again, for the last time, so please, for once, consider being honest, why...did...you...kiss...me?”

Dipper feels like choking, it is like his fancy polo shirt has become tighter around his neck than the bow tie he wore earlier that night. He looks at Pacifica and damn, even fuming with anger she is the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen.

“Pacifica, I am sorry if my kiss offended you, I was rude and unthoughtful, I…”

“I didn’t ask for an apology, I asked for the cause that led to that kiss effect, or is the smartest boy in college out of words now?”

“No, no, it is just that I have to think about what I am about to say very, very carefully.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to lose you, that is why! When Ford and I were lost the last person I expected to see back in that other dimensional island was you, and yet there you were, you had gone to a place out of our reality to help us, you fought a crazy, lighting casting witch and I just can’t understand why you did that! Then we returned to our world and since then you have been wonderful, always there to back me up and that made me develop these feelings that should not be here.”

“Why not, Dipper?”

“Because you are perfect Pacifica Northwest: you are smart, brave and in a scale of beauty, gorgeous is like ten levels beneath your description while I am just plain old Dipper Pines.”

“Dipper, you are anything but plain, not everybody lives a life like yours, and you are not even of drinking age yet.”

“That is another thing, I am a damaged good; I have seen, lived, done things that, that… think of tonight; I led a group made up of two people who have tried to hurt me badly, your gun-crazy ex and a bunch of ultra-violent mythical creatures that you have to be extra-careful around if you don’t want them to turn ultra-violent against you…”

“And you sent your sister and me to try to convince them not to do something they were dead set on doing, they called me a witch you know?”

“No! Did they try to hurt you?”

“They would have, but fortunately the size of their biceps is inversely proportional to that of their brain and also Mabel was of great help in saving my butt.”

“See? I shouldn't have gotten you involved in my messes.”

“Dipper, you didn’t force me to help you, whatever I did tonight was because I decided to do it.”

“Yes, but that doesn't excuse that I got you involved in a horrible fight. Tonight I led a group of dangerous people against another group of dangerous people and I put you in the middle of it, and yet all my efforts would have been for nothing if you and my sister had not appeared and saved my butt.”

“Dipper, where are you trying to go? You have been telling me why you think you are not worthy of me, but if you think that way, why kiss me?”

“Pacifica, I.., I was heading towards a battle where both my allies and my enemies had reasons to try to hurt me, and I was going to be trapped between the two of them while trying my best to have no one seriously hurt and I thought that there was a high chance of things going horribly wrong for me, like game over horrible, and if that was going to be a likely outcome I didn’t want to go down without my lips having ever touched your skin, and that’s it, I know I shouldn’t have just gone and kissed you, that was just entitlement from my part and I want to feel horrible for having done it and yet that little kiss was the highlight of the night for me, the best moment of a night when I literally flew and I can now only hope that this changes nothing between us, that you knowing that I like you is not going to change things between us.”

“Oh Dipper, things are definitely going to change for us.” Pacifica says as her face gets really close to his.

“Pacifica, I didn’t think about what I was doing.” Dipper says, closing his eyes.

“You are right Mason, you didn’t think… you didn’t think that I might feel the same for you.”

“What?” Dipper asks, opening his eyes, his gaze meeting the incredibly deep blue of Pacifica’s.

“Dipper, back when we fought Alana’s father, you showed me not only that I could be a better person, you also showed me that truly good people exist in this world. Then you and your sister led us when we all thought everything was lost and it was just a matter of time before Bill conquered our world; you saved my parents, you gave us hope and you would have saved us all if your uncle Stan had not messed up at the last moment.”

“But he made up for that mistake with interests, not only he ended up saving Gravity Falls and all humanity, but he did it not knowing that there was hope for him, he did it believing that he was, for all practical purposes killing himself.”

“Yes, yes, great guy your uncle… now, as I was saying, you and your family saved us and showed me what true courage was and then you left and each summer I waited for your return, and waited, and waited.You were out of my life for years and during those years I met not only Garrett but also Clive and Liam and other disappointments that I am trying hard to forget, and each one of them I compared to you, to the you I had got to truly know exorcising a ghost…”

“Wait, you were comparing them to me? I was just a kid when we met.”

“Yes, I compared men to a 13 year old boy and found them all wanting. Then profesor Townsend asked me if I could help him locate you and I decided to help him and then help your family with that and I prepared myself to once again be disappointed. Time changes people and I was sure 7 years would have changed you too, and then we finally found you and I realized that something weird had happened, yes, time had changed you, but for the first time in my life I had found someone who time had changed for the better: you were still loyal, brave, smart but also had lost some of your old cockiness and that irking know-it-all attitude of yours and to add some sugar to the deal you were now tall, handsome and had killer abs.”

“Wait, you think I am handsome?”

“Oh, I am not the only one, believe me. And now, tonight you showed me that when it is time to be a badass, you can be one too; I mean, you had already shown me that when dealing with the werewolves, but tonight was really your time to shine and boy you shone like a thousand carat diamond.”

“Pacifica, diamonds don’t shine, they…”

“...refract, yes, yes, smartass. you shone like a star then, happy?”

“Happy... so, what now?”

“Now you finish what you started.” Pacifica says as her lips approach those of Dipper and they kiss, and this time it is not a little kiss on the forehead. First their lips just touch, probing, testing and then Dipper feels how all the tension and stress he had felt during the night and his confrontation with Pacifica is carried away by a Tsunami of oxytocin and dopamine unlike any other he had ever experienced and his arms surround her body and he squeezes her tight against him as their kiss becomes more than a little peck and years and years of doubts, fears and pain within their souls are washed away with the tears of joy they both are crying. Behind them, the sun rises and his light casts away the last shadows of the night.

“A new day is here.” Pacifica says and then kisses Dipper again.

It is indeed.

Dipper opens his eyes and is surprised to see the sun is already high in the sky and even more surprised to see Pacifica lying by his side, carefully observing him. He watches her and smiles and she smiles back, her eyes the very same color of the clean, blue sky.

“Hi.” He says and kisses her.

“Hi.” She says and kisses him back and smiles.

“Is this real?”

“It is, you lucky dork, or are you working in some virtual reality project where you could now be trapped? If so, I have to admit that you have impeccable taste in girls if I ended up with you.”

“You are impossible.”

“Maybe, and you are now stuck with me.”

They both sit up and look at the distance; Behind the Country Club a helicopter rises from the area where the battle took place hours ago and flies away. Dipper sighs as the machine vanishes in the distance.

“So, scared?” Pacifica asks.

“A little, what if I go back to my room only to find government officers waiting to arrest me?”

“Us, Dipper, I helped you free that giant bull man, remember?”

“Yes, you were awesome.”

“As always, and don’t worry, if for some reason they arrest you and not me I know a friend who has a giant robot, I will have you out of prison in a pinch.”

“I think a good lawyer would be more useful.”

“What a coincidence, I know lots of those too.” Pacifica says and hugs him.

“Everything will be fine, Dipper; it would be so cruel to finally be where we are now just to be separated.”

Dipper smiles and thinks that yes, she is right, things are perfect now, and he so deserves perfect after all the things he has gone through the last seven years.

Dipper stands up and helps Pacifica get on her feet to seconds later lift her off the ground and kiss her again.

“What are people going to think if they see us together as we are, grass stains on our clothes, unkempt hair, ruffled clothes?”

“They can think whatever they want, I don’t care what other people think about us.” Pacifica answers, much to Dipper’s surprise.

“But you are the governor’s daughter! What if there are paparazzis waiting for you outside your apartment?”

“Dipper, I am just a politician’s daughter, not a member of Sev’ral Timez, and by the way, what were they doing in the Mystery Shack when Bill attacked?”

“Uh, that is a great story, let me see, where do I start…”

“Shh, tell me that later, when you take me for some coffee and Crepes back in town.”

“And if Chloe and Cher see us?”

“Then I will tell them that I finally have a good boyfriend.”

“And can your reputation survive the new boyfriend?”

“Hey, stop selling my boyfriend short, he is a great guy. Sure, he needs some polish here and there, he is kind of a diamond in the rough, but a diamond nonetheless so watch out what you say about him, he has someone to defend him now.”

“Hey, I would never think of making such a fierce defender mad at me, she knows some sweet takedown moves.”

“You saw how I threw down that giant bullman? That was Ouchi Gari, you know, as the governor’s daughter I have…”

“Yes, you have to know how to defend yourself. Sneaky knee, that is how uncle Stan calls that move. If you talk to him, don't tell him that move has a fancy japanese name and is centuries old, he believes he invented it.”

“You really care for him, don’t you?”

“Hey, I care deeply for all of those I love, I would do anything for them.” He answers, locking eyes with her.

“You know, Dipper? There really is no hurry to go back to town.”

“No.”

“But I am hungry, you talked about burgers in the car yesterday, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I read about a joint halfway between your club and town that supposedly prepares the best burgers in the state, want to try them?”

“Sure, but let’s just not eat in the car.”

“No secret agents waiting for us?”

“None that I can see.”

“So, want to come in?”

“No.. yes... I mean, I have to take a shower and change my clothes, and I am tired, our little morning nap was not enough to replenish my batteries.”

“I know, and I probably need a shower too, I guess I don’t smell that nice.”

“You smell of sweat, wet dog, cattle and gunpowder.”

“That can’t be good.”

“It is in a way very manly. Dipper, thanks, thanks for everything.”

“No, thanks to you, I can honestly say I have never been happier in my whole life.”

“So, breakfast tomorrow?”

“Sure, I owe you Crepe’s, don’t I?”

“Yes you do, so, 8 oclock?”

“Yes, we don’t want to be late for classes.”

“What do you think is going to happen tomorrow? Townsend is our teacher, we can’t avoid him.”

“I know, but whatever happens we will face it together.”

“I love you Dipper.”

“I love you, Pacifica.”

They tenderly kiss goodbye and Dipper just stands there, watching Pacifica’s car until it turns a curve and disappears. Dipper closes his eyes and lets out a sigh of peace, happiness and complete love, his heart feels like bursting out of his chest and his feet feel like dancing. He should be about to collapse with exhaustion and lack of sleep and yet he feels energized, charged, like a dragster waiting for the green light, like a..

“Someone has to tell me something.” Dipper hears someone say behind him, scaring him almost out of his shoes.

“AAAH! Ah, Mabel it is you and... wait, where do you come from?”

“Piedmont, brother, just like you.”

“No, I mean, now… were you waiting for me? And where is your car?”

“I sent it to pick up Wendy, you have to tell us lots of things, don’t you?”

“Things, what kind of things?.”

“Oh, please, I saw you kissing Pacifica and this time it was not a lame little peck on her forehead, this time it was an honest saliva exchange, what a real kiss is meant to be! So….?”

Dipper sighs, and well, he does feel like he needs to tell the world just how happy he is now, and there is no other person he loves more in this world than his sister, with the exception of a rich blonde heiress.

“Well, as you can see, Pacifica and I are together.”

“I know that, I even have pictures of you two kissing on the grass, between flowers and butterflies, very romantic by the way.”

“Wait, pictures? But how? Oh, never mind. So, if you know what happened, why are you asking for details?”

“Because I arrived late! Can you believe that? Why did you have to confess your love for her in such a secluded place? So, how did you tell her you loved her? You swept her off the ground and told her how much your heart ached for her, that you could not imagine a life without her and then sealed the deal with a long, passionate kiss?”

“Ehh, no, she pinned me against a tree and mercilessly grilled me until I had no choice but to tell her what I feel for her.”

“Not very romantic but the truth is that is exactly how I imagined it was going to happen.”

“Hey, I am not that…. I am, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I really love you bro, but yes, you are. Now, I want details, every one of them… Ah, if Waddles could see you now, he would be so proud! He never doubted you, you know? He always saw you and Pacifica together ”

“Eh, Waddles? How could he...?”

“Don’t you dare to doubt Waddle’s powers of romantic clairvoyance!”

“No, no, of course not.” Dipper says, a little bit confused.

“Mabel, you mentioned an emergency when you abandoned me last night, what kind of emergency was that?”

“It was a romantic emergency made more urgent by a huge case of dorkitis.”

“So, you had it all planned?”

“You wouldn’t believe for how long.”

“I thought you didn’t like Pacifica.”

“Eh, I can tolerate her, but I noticed that she has gone through some really dangerous stuff for you, and it is not I who should like her after all.”

“And how did you know she was not going to laugh in my face when I told her I loved her?”

“How did I? Oh, Dipper, for a guy who can track discarnated spirits and the happenings in other dimensions you can be so blind sometimes! Every time I was between you and her it was like being between two magnets of opposite polarity, I could feel a fundamental force of the universe trying to pull you together; no, it was more than that, it was like the force that makes a toast always fall jelly-down on the floor when dropped, it was that kind of strong.”

Dipper just smiles, pulls his sister towards him and says, hugging her.

“Thanks sis, I really love you, you definitely are the smartest of us.”

“That you have finally realized that shows that you are not that dumb. Now, about my birthday party, what do you think we should do?”

“Your birthday party? If I recall it correctly, we are twins, it is our birthday party.”

“Have you forgotten you were lost six months out of normal time? You are half a year younger than me.”

“Hey, but the celebration is called birth-day, it celebrates the day you are born; it doesn’t matter how long I was outside our universe’s time stream, my date of birth will always be the same. And besides, don’t you always rub in my face the fact that you were born minutes before me? Now you are the oldest sibling for an ever wider margin.”

“Yes, that kind of thing mattered when we were young, but as we grow older I find myself wishing I was the youngest, and now you are not just five mintues younger than me, you are half a year younger.”

“Yes, but it is not like I can gloat about it, I mean, who is going to believe that we are twins if I say I am half a year younger than you? It would already be hard to say that we are biological siblings born six months apart, human pregnancies lasting for 9 months and all of that.”

“Yes, you are right, but still, I now wish I was the youngest of the two.”

“Mabel, you are the wise, responsible first born, I will always look up to you.”

“And as the wise, responsible older sibling I will always watch over you, and boy do you need someone watching over you! Luckily, Pacifica can now take some of that burden off my shoulders.”

“Hey, I am not a burden.”

“No, but occasionally you can be a real pain in the ass, and by occasionally I mean like every week. I wonder if Pacifica really knows what she is getting into.”

“I promise, from now on, to be more careful. Now, can I share your birthday party, please?”

“Hmh, nice effort, but you are going to need to put more effort in your googly eyes if you want to cute-shame me into anything, but that is ok, maybe your cuteness is not up to my level, but today I am feeling magnanimous so I allow it, you can share a birthday party with me.”

Dipper smiles and hugs her sister again, and man, tonight he really feels like hugging!

A car parks in front of them and a pretty redhead gets out of it and says.

“Way to go buddy! Mabel told me that you finally decided to stop playing around with Pacifica and make things official with her. I would ask how you are feeling but that big smile on your face tells me that you are feeling more than fine. Now, how about a beer?” She says, showing them the six-pack she is carrying.

“Wendy, I am not yet 21, remember?”

“But you are a big boy now, and I am not asking you to get drunk, I just want to make a toast to my best friend’s happiness and to Mabel’s success.”

“How is this a triumph for Mabel?”

“Well, for starters, she won 20 bucks from me.”

“Wait, you were making bets on whether Pacifica liked me or not?”

“Oh no, we had no doubts the girl liked you, the thing we betted on was whether you would find the courage to tell her you loved her before Christmas came. I am happy to say I was wrong.”

“Thanks for trusting me.”

“Dipper, you know I trust you with my life, but getting you to confess your feelings usually takes someone dying.”

“Yeah, yeah, no need to rub salt on that old wound.”

“I thought it was cute, you know? Even then you were more of a catch than Robbie.”

Dipper just smiles.

“Now, why haven’t you invited us to your room? It can’t be in worse condition than your room back at the Mystery Shack, or have Pacifica and you, already, you know, had fun there?”

Dipper’s face turns a truly crimson shade and says.

“No, no,... how could you think that… I mean…”

“So, Pacifica is also going to have to push you to do that too? Alana didn’t have to work that hard to convince you, or did she?”

“No, no, it was different with Alana.”

“What kind of different?”

“This time I want things to be perfect, there is no need to rush things, to don’t think about what comes next…”

“Sometimes you have to live the moment, Dipper.”

“Yes, I know, but this time I want things to last forever.”

“Uhh, Dipper Pines, that girl has you hook, line and sinker.”

“And I don’t care.”

Wendy smiles and then says.

“Then, invite us inside and tell us everything.”

They go inside Dipper’s dorm room and after an hour and two cans of beer each they are all laughing and smiling and feeling really great.

“Man, I don’t think how could something….”

“Dipper, don’t say it!”

“... make this moment even more awesome.”

“Oh, nice save.”

That moment Dipper’s phone rings.

“Hello… uncle Stan! You wouldn’t believe all the crazy things that have happened lately, I can’t wait for you to return so we can talk about them and….. wait, tomorrow? You will be back tomorrow?”

“Dipper, I can’t believe it, you actually summoned good luck!” Mabel almost yells.

“Hey, who is Pacifica holding hands with?”

“I don’t know, I believe… no, it can’t be!”

“Oh my, did he just kiss her?”

“No, I think that it was actually Pacifica who kissed him.”

“Ice Queen Pacífica? No, can’t be, you probably need to check the graduation of your glasses.”

“Holy, I now recognize the guy, isn’t he that Mason Pines, the douchebag who kills endangered animals?”

“Actually I heard that that was just a rumor, that he actually is some kind of activist.”

“Activist? No, what I heard is that he is some sort of European blue blood, that there are pictures of his sister partying with Marius von Fundhauser.”

“Dreamy Marius? Isn’t he engaged with a peasant from Gravity Falls?”

“Yes, and it seems that they are friends with her too.”

“And do you believe Mason is going to have better luck than all the other boyfriends of Pacifica?”

“I don’t know, that girl has her temper, but this time it seems different and… is she feeding Mason a piece of her own Crepe, with her own fork?”

“Whom, Pacífica? Please, it is not in her nature to…. oh my, she is actually doing it!”

“I am scared.”

“Girl, I am terrified.”

“Do you think people are already talking about us?”

“Dipper, I am sure they are, you don’t know my people as I do, the gossiping must be already reaching national news level.”

“Should I be nervous?”

“I would tell you that you should be terrified, but you are dating me, dork, the biggest shark in this little pond, so don’t worry and just enjoy the ride.”

“Hmm, I can’t really explain it but I really like the way you call me dork.”

“You better, it is like being called by your name after all.”

“I can’t understand why I am finding myself digging this passive-aggressiveness of you.”

“Precisely because it comes from me, it is the same reason why I kind of like your dorkiness.”

“Kind of?”

“We need to work on that, not everybody will find it as charming as I do.”

“Then we should also work on polishing your barbs and sharp edges.”

“Dipper, a rose must have her thorns, otherwise it is not a rose.”

“A rose with thorns the size of swords is not a rose either, and not everybody will find them as charming as I do.”

“Hmmh, I don’t know, people seem to like me the way I am, barbs, thorns and all, do you know how lucky you are?”

“Pacifica, you are the worst.”

“And you are still a dork.”

“Is our relationship always going to be like this, quips, sarcasm, witty remarks?”

“I can only hope, oh, and make out, lots of it.”

“I can work with that.”

“Work? Dipper, you are going to love it.”

“I already do. You know I would kiss you if there weren't so many people watching us.”

Pacifica grabs Dipper by the collar of his shirt, pulls him towards her and gives him a long, sweet kiss.

“I told you you are with me, stop worrying about other people, being seen is also part of the fun, and speaking of being seen, you and I are going to go shopping today, we need to do something about your clothes.”

“I was fearing you would say that, what is wrong about my clothes?”

“Nothing, just don’t wear them any longer, just keep that nice jacket you took to the party and… that’s it.”

“This is going to cost me money, lot’s of it, isn’t it?”

“Some, and… I believe it is time to go to classes.”

“I am really scared, do you think Townsend is going to, I don’t know, arrest us or something like that?”

“I want to see him try; dad is still the governor of this state and useful to them, they are not just going to arrest me.”

“You, what about me?”

“Dipper Pines, I will never let anyone hurt you in any way, from now on I am the only one allowed to do that.”

“You know you don’t have to threaten me or call me dork anymore, you have nothing to prove to me, I know just how great you are.”

“Are you trying to say that I make other people feel inferior just so I can feel superior?”

“That was pretty specific and… just think about it, I love you whatever way you are.”

“Damn it, I had to get an ultra smart know it all boyfriend who now understands everything about feelings and human psychology.”

“And you are going to love it.”

“Don’t steal my lines!”

“Paz… are you really mad?”

“Just because you hit too close to heart; that behavior, that making people feel less is just what dad does, what a Northwest does and I don’t want to be like that, but it just, it just comes so naturally to me! Honestly, I don’t know how there are people who call me a friend.”

“Because you are so awesome in everything else, that’s why.”

“I do, am I not?”

“Yes, but you don’t need me or anybody else to tell you that.”

“But it feels so nice!”

“Let’s make a deal, I let you do and maybe follow some of your suggestions about my clothing and style, and you let me do some suggestions about your… barbs and thorns, nothing binding, everything completely optional... ok?”

“I will try.”

“OK, now we really need to hurry or we are going to be late to class.”

“I am still waiting for my coffee, I ordered a cup to go.”

A minute later a waiter comes and delivers Pacifica’s coffee.

“WHAT IS THIS? I ordered whipped cream and cocoa, cocoa, not cinnamon! Is there something between those ears of your that….”

Dipper slightly elbows Pacifica, who turns to see him ready to take his head out, but she just meets his eyes, understands and then says to the waiter.

“This…. is….not…. what, I ordered, but it is fine, I have nothing against cinnamon, just be more careful next time.”

“Ahem.”

“and I am...ssssssss…..ssssssso…...ssssorrrrry I yelled at you… now, how much we owe you? This dor…. gentleman will pay.”

The waiter, unblinking, stiffly produces a credit card terminal and Dipper pays for the breakfast. Pacifica and Dipper leave the place and then everybody in the place notices that they have all been holding still, almost without breathing for some time now.

“Did Pacifica Northwest apologize?” The waiter asks the patrons.

Everybody inside slowly nods with stiff backs and unblinking eyes.

The waiter shudders as cold sweat runs down his spine due to the utter horror only those who have witnessed the complete breaking of all laws of the natural order can understand.

“What?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking about the fact that public opinion loves you, and, well, I am trying to understand…”

“You love me, don’t you? DON’T YOU?”

“Completely, but I know the true Pacifica.”

“It is true that I can be a little bit… thorny, but I am not always this way, I understand that public image is important, haven’t you seen me on t.v. during interviews?”

“Yes.”

“How many have you seen?”

“Eh, mostly… all.”

“So I had a stalker?”

“Researcher.”

“Sure, I don’t know if I have to feel flattered or a little concerned.”

“Flattered, obviously.”

That moment an ambulance stops outside the little cafe where Dipper and Pacifica had just had breakfast.

“Whoa, what do you think happened there?”

“I don’t know, I hope it is not a case of food poisoning.”

“I feel fine, and you?”

“Yes, me too, maybe someone finally decided to not tolerate the incompetence of that waiter and…”

“Pacifica.”

“What? Not everybody is as forgiving and understanding as I am.”

They enter their classroom and sit together, immediately becoming the center of attention of everybody. Cher sees them and opens up her eyes wide with astonishment, but decides to say nothing, waiting for a time when she and Pacifica can talk alone to tell her what she thinks of her friend’s new relationship.

The door opens one more time and Dipper holds his breath, what is he going to do if Townsend asks him to leave the room? But when Dipper locks his eyes with the professor he receives a very, very nice surprise.

“Good morning everybody, you don’t know me yet so let me introduce myself, my name is Stanford Pines and I will be replacing professor Townsend until further notice. I have 12 doctorates so I am more than qualified to impart this class, so, let’s see what you are currently learning.” Ford says as he opens a binder and checks some papers.

“Wrong, wrong, obsolete, half-right, half-wrong, completely wrong, mostly right but not quite there…. hmmh, it seems like you really need me here and…”

Something beeps on the ceiling and Ford looks up and then says.

...but, we will stick to what Townsend planned to teach you, now, who can tell me how to prove if we are living or not inside a simulation?”

After 50 minutes the class ends and Dipper and Pacifica approach Ford as their classmates leave the room.

“Uncle, what a surprise!” Dipper says as he hugs his beloved uncle.

“Boy, I am glad to be here and see that you and your sister are OK, I heard you two did some dangerous stuff the other night.”

Dipper tells him everything that happened during Ford’s absence.

“Well, it seems like you had your hands full the last weeks, I am proud of all the things you and your sister have accomplished so far.”

“It wasn’t just Mabel and I who have been risking our lives, uncle, Wendy has been great, and Pacifica, I owe her my life.”

“Yes, and I see you are already giving it to her.”

“Oh… yes, Pacifica and I are together, I know this might be some of a shock to you but…”

“A shock? Boy, sure, it is a shock because I thought you would never muster the courage to ask her out, I always imagined that it would be Pacifica who would be the one to finally force you to confess your feelings for her, I am glad to have been wrong.”

“Uncle, about that…”

“Damn, it seems like I can’t be wrong even when I want to be, but I am really happy for you two, you make a great team, you two bring out the best in each other.”

“Thanks Mr. Ford, I promise you to toughen up this dork.”

“And I will get Pacifica to be less thorny.”

“Good, I am happy that you are together even if I am going to have to pay Mabel 20 bucks.”

“Uncle, don’t tell me you bet on my romantic life too?”

“Boy, we even updated the odds on a weekly basis, last time I checked they were 50 to 1 that you would tell Pacifica you loved her in less than a week.”

“Was it so obvious?” Pacifica asks.

“As obvious as the sun at noon on a cloudless day.”

“Well, I am not sorry you lost 20 bucks.” Dipper says.

“As I told you, I am glad to have lost those 20 bucks and it could have been worse, Stan is now 100 bucks poorer.”

“Uncle, why didn’t you tell me you were going to become my new astrophysics teacher?”

“Powers confiscated our phones, and today I thought of arriving early to class to give you the news, but I stopped to grab some coffee and had to administer rcp to a waiter and help some customers there regain their senses: it seems like something weird happened in that little cafe this morning, something unnatural that had everybody there completely nuts, we have to investigate that later in case there are ghosts or spirits involved.”

“Let’s leave that for later, now I want to have a week free of ghosts, monsters or magic.”

“And lot’s of kisses, I suppose?”

Dipper and Pacifica blush.

“Ah, being young again! Mmhh, maybe I should investigate those rumours about the fountain of youth. Kids, I have to meet Powers and Trigger, but we will talk later, I have things to tell you too, but now, don’t you have a lecture in less than 10 minutes?”

The party is a wild success; it seems like all the campus decided to show up tonight and everybody is having a great time. Dipper sees Wendy dancing with some friends while Mabel uses the confetti gun to make colors rain all around. Pacifica is talking with Chloe and Cher and if they feel angry that Pacifica and him are in a relationship they are not letting it show, Cher is even in charge of beverages and her cocktails are amazing even if they do seem to pack some serious punch. Some classmates come and congratulate Dipper for his birthday and they seem to be honestly happy for him, their attitude a complete departure from the previous hostility he had endured when everybody thought he was a rhino murderer.

“Congratulations, Mason.” A cute girl tells Dipper and he just nods and smiles, not even sure if he knows that girl or not. Now, he is getting thirsty and goes and grabs a beverage and damn, Cher really knows her stuff.

“So, Mason, I see that girl has already changed you.” Dipper hears a familiar voice tell him.

“Oh, Alana, hi… I am happy to see you, but Pacifica might not feel that way, you know?”

“I don’t plan to stay here longer than needed, I know that might lead to uncomfortable situations, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, that is all.”

“Well, thanks.”

“I see that the Northwest has already changed you.”

“You mean the clothes?”

“That too, I see she has already started.”

“Started to do what?”

“To turn you into a version of yourself she finds more suitable to her interests.”

“Come on, again with that? Well, yes, she is helping me with some changes I need and I am helping her with some changes she needs to undergo too, there is nothing wrong with that.”

“Yes, but something tells me she is going to be more successful at that than you.”

“Alana, I know you are not that fond of the Northwests, but Pacifica is of your own blood, can’t you see the good there is in her?”

“Mason, I recognize my blood in her, that is why I am asking you to be careful, you know the kind of determination the women of my bloodline have.”

“That is a good thing, isn’t it?”

“Only if you don’t stand in our way.”

“And I am standing in your way, or Pacifica’s?”

“Good night Mason, I honestly wish you a happy birthday.” Alana says as she walks away.

“Whoa, that was weird… well, let’s see if I can find something to eat too.” Dipper says as he walks towards his girlfriend.

“Dipper, is this really the place?”

“Yes, this is Crash Site Omega, better known as the town of Gravity Falls. Look at the cliffs, what do you think caused those huge indentations in them?”

“Wow, if they were made by a ship then that ship must be enormous!”

“It is indeed, you can easily get lost inside of it, luckily for us Uncle Ford provided us with a map, so, are you ready for some truly out of this world archeology?”

Pacifica nods and grabs Dipper’s hand as he opens a hidden hatch on the secluded hill they are standing and tell her to get inside.”

“Now, you are going to need your magnetic gun, are you sure you can handle it?”

Pacifica spins the gun in her hand, gunslinger style and smiles.

“Yes, really good with a pistol, I know.” Dipper tells her and smiles.

They get in the ship, slide down huge metallic beams, steel walls and balance from huge hanging cable to huge hanging cable until they reach solid ground.

“Dipper, this is amazing! I can’t believe I am actually inside an alien spaceship, this is a dream come true!”

“Well, from now on alien ships will be a normal day to you and...wait a second.”

A huge metallic door opens and a giant metallic sphere comes floating out of it

“Dipper, what is that? Should I be scared?”

“No, no, actually, you shouldn’t be scared; if you show fear it will grab you and take you to their planet, which, considering this ship has been buried here for 30 million years might not even exist now.”

“So, if I show no fear they will leave us alone?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.” Pacifica says as she approaches the floating security droid.

“Pacifica, what are you doing?” Dipper asks as Pacifica touches the droid. The droid seems not to notice her, but it then focuses its attention on Dipper.

“Dipper, relax, nothing bad is going to happen to me, I trust you with my life.” Pacifica says and Dipper sees what is happening: he shouldn’t be scared for Pacifica, she is just as fearless and strong as Wendy and probably lots more than him. He sees her finger trace the contour of the highly polished security droid and he relaxes; that woman has no fear and if she has nothing to fear then he also has nothing to fear.

The droid stops and then floats back behind the door he had been hiding before and it closes.

“So, were you worried for me?” Pacifica asks.

“A little.”

“Please don’t, otherwise I might have to end up rescuing you from an alien prison.”

Dipper kisses her and then tells her.

“Hey, let me show you something.” He says as he presses a button and suddenly everything that is not attached to the floor starts to float almost a meter above the floor.

“Wow, have you just cancelled gravity?” Pacifica asks.

“Yes, this is the exact same feeling of weightlessness astronauts feel when leaving the planet.”

“This is great, look mom, no hands! and no legs either, I am just floating.” Pacifica says as she bounces from wall to wall and soon Dipper is chasing her.

“Think you can catch me dork? Let’s see you try!” Pacifica teases Dipper with those words and a merry zero G chase ensues that only ends after Dipper finally catches Pacifica.

“I got you.” He says.

“Because I let you.” She answers, smiling.

“Hey, I found it.” Pacifica says as she picks up her magnetic gun and turns to show it to Dipper.

“You can stop smiling now, dork.” She tells him.

“I… I just can’t, for a moment it felt as if we were 13 again.”

“So, happy?”

“So happy.” He says as he kisses her. “You really can be so fun if you want to.”

“What? Surprised that I am not always perfect, cold, formal Northwest?”

“No, more like surprised of just how perfect you always are.”

“Yes, but don’t worry, stay with me and you are going to be up to my standards in no time.”

“So, you want to make me a version of a Northwest then?”

“Dipper…. no, thinking things better, you are also perfect the way you are, now, weren’t you going to show me your uncle’s lab?”

They walk out of the ship and get inside Pacifica’s car. A short drive later they are in the woods surrounding the Mystery Shack.

“Take my hand.” Dipper says.

“Why, is it dangerous?”

“No, but that is the only way you can get inside the lab; it is protected by a custom unicorn hair spell synchronized to the Pines family; only my family can get inside alone, but if I hold your hand while crossing the protective field it will let you in, it will recognize you as a friend and grant you access to the lab, and once it labels you as a friend it will always let you in.”

“And what if someone comes, and I don’t know, crashes a tank or a freight train against the barrier, will it get through?”

“Pacifica, Bill with all its might and power couldn’t break the barrier, a train or even an aircraft carrier crashing against it would not be enough.”

Dipper presses his hand against a tree and a trap door on the floor opens.

“This is much better than climbing up the tree.” Dipper says as he leads Pacifica downstairs.

After a brief decontamination (and make out) session, Dipper and Pacifica enter Ford’s lab. A series of lights turns on, each pointing to a glass door.

“Welcome back, Dipper Pines.” A voice is heard.

“Who is that?” Pacifica asks.

“That is the lab, actually, Ford has it totally automated and capable of receiving voice commands.”

“Is it one of your electrollic friends?”

“No, it is not alive, it is just a traditional AI; you don’t want something with too much initiative guarding a place like this.”

“And what exactly is in here?” Pacifica asks as she rubs off condensed moisture from one of the glass doors.

“Holy shit… it is the thing that robbed your face!”

“Yes, it is.”

“And all those other doors and glass cylinders, do they have something like this creature inside?”

“Yes they do, at least most of them.”

“And how often does your uncle let the creatures thaw out and see the sun?”

“Heh, I don’t think he does that often enough.”

“So, these creatures are basically prisoners? They never got a trial or something like that?”

“No, but some of these beings are not what you would call nice law-abiding citizens. Ford is working on finding a way to control them, not in like enslaving them but in finding a way to set them free without becoming a threat to society.”

“And how close is he to achieving that?”

“Not close enough.”

“So, these things will remain trapped here for who knows how long?”

“Yes; I know it is cruel and inhumane, but it is a lot better being in their current condition, frozen and unaware of time than conscious of their situation, of being trapped underground. I also feel bad for having them here and even had to talk my uncle out of his intention of doing some… of taking some biological samples out of them.”

“Well, this guy I really hate but knowing that he is frozen solid makes me, I don’t know, hate him less and I want to hate him properly, tell you uncle to work faster on his monster stuff.” Pacifica says, pointing at Mr. What’s his face.

“Yes, yes, I will tell him.”

“What is this weird helmet for?”

“Oh, that is for scrambling minds.”

“What? Is your uncle really a mad scientist?”

“What? No! I might have used the wrong term, it is used to scramble minds as in encrypting them so a being capable of entering human minds can’t read them, there are no ill effects from using it.”

“Hey, you could use this for protection against beings like Bill, so, how do you use it?”

“You don’t, it is no longer working; I fried it when I was a kid and uncle Ford hasn’t taken the time to fix it. Maybe I should try to do it myself.”

“And I can help.”

“Really? Being in a dark, underground lair surrounded by frozen monsters doesn’t sound like a good date.”

“Well, the place is pretty secluded, isn’t it?” Pacifica tells him with a very seductive voice as she looks him in the eyes, which makes Dipper blush almost tomato red.

“I don’t think I am ever going to get used to how cute you look when you blush.” She tells him as she looks inside another cryogenic chamber.

“Dipper, it is you! Wait, are you really Dipper? Please don’t tell me that the real Dipper has been frozen all this time and you are, you are not him?”

“Hey, I am the real Dipper, the handsome fellow frozen in there is a shape-shifter. Wendy and I defeated him and before freezing solid he taunted me by taking my form.”

“Uh, that is creepy.”

“Yes it is.”

“Hmm, it is nice watching the young you, and there is also something that I can’t quite… oh, yes, I see it! That is the exact same face you made when the ghost was turning you into wood!”

“Was it that awful?”

“Yes, it is the exact same face, let me take a picture of the thing and apply some filters to it, there must be...yes, there is a woodify filter…. now, take a look at the wood statue Dipper.”

“Wow, it looks, it looks… I don’t know how to describe it and… are you alright?”

“Yes, no, I mean, I have to delete this picture, I don’t know what I was thinking, it brings me bad memories.”

“I thought you had fond memories of that night.”

“Yes I have, but not of that moment; you were turned into wood because of me and believe it or not, for a moment I was really scared of being the cause of your death.”

“But you saved me, me and a lot of people, you did great that night.”

“Yes I did, didn’t I?”

“I am telling you that yes, you did.”

“And what is this old rug doing here?” Pacifica asks.

Dipper walks towards the rug, which is more of a carpet and examines it.

“Oh no, no, Pacifica, don’t touch me! Metal, metal, I have to touch metal.”

“What is wrong? Is that thing poisonous?”

“No, not poisonous… remember the Thomlinsons?”

“Oh, it is that carpet!”

“Yes it is, ok, now I think it is safe to touch me again.” Dipper says seconds after touching a thick steel pipe.

“Whew, for a moment I thought I was going to end up inside of you.”

“You must certainly want that, don’t you?” Pacifica tells him, and Dipper blushes again.

“I… that was not what I was trying to say, you know.”

“Relax, I am used to guys wanting something like that from me, and you are my boyfriend after all, and I am a regular American girl, so I might want to have fun sometimes… with you.” She tells him which makes his face take on an even deeper shade of red.

“But no in this creepy place, it completely kills any vibe not sinister, so, how about you treat me to some Greasy’s waffles?”

The waffles are as good as always and Susan is really happy to see Pacifica although also a little disappointed that she isn’t going to help waitressing. When she hears that Pacifica and Dipper are together she gets so happy that even her bad eye pops open.

“Boy, you struck gold with this girl, and I am not saying that only because she is rich, she is a truly amazing person. So, more coffee?”

Later, they spend a couple of hours with Soos and Melody and then visit McGucket who is slowly going back to his more civilised personality. All things considered, the day has been perfect.

The week breezes by and neither Dipper nor Pacifica seem to have lost the excitement, the emotion of being together. Cher is still not convinced of Dipper being adequate for her friend but she has to admit that the guy is clever, smarter than she has thought and seems to care for Pacifica in a way her previous boyfriends never did; to them Pacifica had been like a trophy or something to be captured and tamed, but Dipper seems to accept Pacifica for what she is and to Cher’s surprise Pacifica seems to be changing too, her hard edges, even if still sharp and metal, seem to be smoother and more polished, and even if she is still sarcastic and quick with clever, hurtful words she seems to limit those only to people who really deserve them and only when the opportunity is too obvious to let it pass. All in all, while Cher liked the old Pacifica she finds herself liking the new Pacifica too, and what is more, it seems like some of that new wholesomeness has rubbed on her too, now she is more relaxed, her need to make other people feel inferior to her has diminished a little, could that guy Mason truly be all that?

“Agh, where is Pacifica? Don't tell me she is with Mason.” Chloe asks.

“Well, he is her boyfriend, isn’t he?” Cher answers, sipping from her coffee. They are both sitting in a charming little cafe within eyesight of the University.

“Damn it? Why did it have to happen so fast?” Chloe asks.

“Oh, please, don’t tell me that you liked that guy Mason too?”

“Well, I need him.”

“So, you like him, like boyfriend material like him?”

“I said I needed him, he was my ticket to greater things and now he only has time for Pacifica.”

“I don’t quite follow you.”

“I would try to explain it but you wouldn’t believe me, the things I am talking about need to be seen to be believed.”

“Try it.”

“Oh no, you would think I am crazy, but let’s put things this way: the things I could have learned from Mason would have made me rich and famous.”

“Girl, you are already rich.”

“Well, richer, and I would have gained those riches in a way that would have commanded respect and admiration, maybe even adoration.”

“Whoa, so, who is this Mason guy really?”

“Just a lucky bastard. So, want to try to break up a couple?”

“What, no!”

“I thought you didn’t like Mason.”

“No, I didn’t but Pacifica seems to really like him, and he positively adores Pacifica, he seems to honestly be in love with her, he is a love-stricken puppy on Pacifica’s lap, I wish there was someone who would look at me the way he looks at Pacifica.”

“Damn it girl, I was counting on you to be your usual mean, bitchy, destructive self, what is going on with you?”

“Hey, I love to be a destructive bitch, but I don’t believe the current situation deserves that, not to Pacifica at least, and in a destructive bitch competition do you think any of us could beat Pacifica?”

Chloe remains silent while she thinks that no, there is no way she can outbitch Pacifica.

“So, what do you think happened to Professor Townsend and Dean Sonia? I hear neither of them has given any of their lectures this week and the last.”

“I don’t know, but something tells me Mason knows what is going on, maybe is even responsible for their disappearance.”

“Oh, come on! Mason is not the dork I thought he was but he is neither James Bond, why would he know or be the reason for a pair of powerful, respected professors to leave campus?”

Chloe sighs and then says.

“I am going to tell you some things you are going to find really hard to believe, so please, no smart quips or clever remarks until I finish, and no sarcasm, what I am about to tell you is the complete truth, ask Hunter about it if you have doubts.”

Pacifica enters the academics building, thinking of speaking with Ford about some things Dipper told her but couldn’t quite explain about the multiverse, but she is shocked to find Sonia Fairway and Philip Townsend waiting for her.

“Oh, Miss Northwest, we are really glad to see you.” Sonia says as she grabs a little bell.

“Dipper, there is an emergency.” Mabel informs him through the phone.

“Emergency, what emergency, is Pacifica OK?”

“Dipper, Ford and Stan want to see us now, it is important.”

“OK, let me call Pacifica and…”

“Dipper, don’t do it, trust me on that.”

“OK, see you at our Grunkles home, but I hope it is quick, I am having dinner with my girlfriend tonight. ” He says and hangs up.

“Guys, I am leaving, please watch the fort for me… guys?”

Only silence answers.

“OK, if that is what you want it is fine with me, just don’t ask me to get you another graphic card if you continue to keep that attitude.” He tells the electrolls.

DIpper walks to the house his grunkles had been assigned in town and finds them there together with Mabel and Wendy.

“OK, what is going on?” He asks.

“Boy, please sit down.” Stan tells him.

“Why, what is wrong, please don’t tell me something bad happened to Pacifica!”

“No,..well, yes, something pretty bad happened that involves her.”

“What, what!? Please, tell me now.”

“Dipper, boy, we have been robbed.” Ford informs him.

“Robbed, robbed of what?”

“Everything.” Stan answers.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Sonia’s people have been to my lab and Crash Site Omega, they took everything from my lab and are keeping watch on the UFO, that and exploring its insides.”

“But, but… how? They can’t... they couldn’t enter any of those places, they were protected by a spell, a unicorn hair spell.”

“Someone who had been given the right to enter those places gave them entrance.”

“Someone, but whom? I don’t think Soos would have done something like that.”

“Boy, it was not Soos.” Stan tells him.

“Then who? There are security cameras, they must have recorded something.”

“Cameras were disabled and all systems were compromised in a way only possible to some beings you know very well.”

“The electrolls, have they betrayed us? Damn, that is why they didn’t answer today, they are gone, they left us, they went to work for Sonia… but wait, even if they are with the enemy they couldn’t have granted them access to our secret places, and if they didn’t do it, who did it then?”

“Dipper, I have some hidden cameras watching our bases, so secret not even the electrolls know about them, and they captured the person who let the bad guys in.”

“Who is it Ford? Was it Alana? She is a witch, maybe she found a way to disrupt the spell.”

“Boy, just watch, and remember that we are here for you.” His Grunkle says as a video starts playing on the tv screen.

“No, no, it can’t be, not her.” Dipper says, clutching his heart, his aching heart that now feels like breaking in a million pieces as he sees a beautiful blonde woman grabbing the hand of Sonia Fairway as she opens up the secret entrance to his uncle’s lab.

“Dipper, I am sorry; for what is worth, she fooled us all.” Mabel tells his brother.

“How could I have been so stupid? How could I have believed that someone like her would love someone like me? I am the king of the idiots, I fell for the oldest trap in the book, a honey trap and I fell like a lousy fly on it and now I am the cause of us loosing everyhing, I am stupid, stupid, I don’t deserve you guys,... I…”

Wendy and Mabel hug Dipper as uncle Stan places a hand on his shoulder and says.

“Boy, it was not your fault; as Mabel said, we all fell for it, I was so happy for you, I thought that that girl was being honest, that she honestly loved you even if you were...you, I never thought, not even for a second that it was all a scam, and I am the king of the scams.”

“Uncle Ford, could you ever forgive me?”

“Dipper, I was fooled by Bill because of my pride and greed for knowledge while you were fooled by love, of the both of us you are the one with a better justification for your mistake.”

“Damn it, first Alana and now Pacifica, are all of my girlfriends going to betray me? What is wrong with me?”

“There is nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with them.” Wendy tells him.

“Damn, I am pathetic, a complete loser, what is going to happen to us now? They have no need for us any longer.”

“They might have our stuff but making sense of it is another thing, they still need us but this time I fear they are going to be more energetic in the way they ask for our cooperation.”

That moment Dipper’s phone rings. He recognizes the ringtone, it only sounds when certain blonde girl calls.

Pacifica wakes up and realizes that it is already late in the afternoon and why does she feel so tired? She looks at her watch and jumps out of the bed as she sees the hour; she is supposed to meet Dipper in fifteen minutes and grab a kebab before going to the movies. Well, she is not going to be ready to go out in less than half an hour so she has to call Dipper and inform him that perfect Pacifica Northwest is not that perfect and took a really long nap from which she is just waking up and that irks her.

She grabs her phone and dials her boyfriend.

“Hello, Dipper?”

No one answers.

“Dipper, are you there?”

“Pacifica, how you dare to call me, are you calling me just to boast about what you did to us?”

“Hold it, what are you saying, and don’t speak to me in that tone.”

“You….how you dare to demand something from me? I loved you Pacifica, I truly did but now I see you never loved me back, I was just a tool, a means to make you and your father more powerful, that was all, wasn’t it?”

“What the hell are you talking about? You can’t be that angry about me being a little late.”

“Wait, were you expecting me to show up tonight for dinner after the things you have done? Or were you expecting to remain undiscovered and keep using me, keep mocking me? Well, we have you filmed, I know what you did to us, what you did for Sonia and her people.”

“You got me filmed doing what?”

“Oh please, now you need me to tell you? Opening the doors to my uncle’s lab and to the buried UFO to our enemies, that is what you did…. I hope it was worth it for you...no, I hope you suffer a horrible death or for you to be taken to an alien prison by the security droids.”

“Dipper Pines, this has gone too far for a joke, I would never do what you are accusing me of doing.”

“Stop it Pacifica, stop it! Didn’t you hear that we have videos of you doing it? No one else who has never called the Mystery Shack home could have done it, only you could have passed the protective spell and given your people access to those sites, only you, there is no one else in the world and damn, it hurts, it hurts so much.”

“Dipper, you are scaring me.”

“Oh, am I doing that? I am sorry for being a little upset after you have hijacked my uncle Ford’s lifework and what I considered my future. Go live your life now, be the perfect Northwest your father wants you to be, the perfect Northwest you have always been, but know this, to me, you are the worst and don’t you ever dare to speak to me or my family ever again.”

“Dipper, what is wrong with you? Are you breaking up with me by phone? Dipper? DIPPER!”

But he has already ended the call.

“Damn it, he can’t break up with me by phone, the coward, he can’t…”

Pacifica falls to her knees.

“He can’t break up with me.” She says, almost crying.

“Something, someone must have impersonated me or faked the video, that is the only answer, I will search for Dipper and explain to him that I would never betray him… of course, when he finds out that I am innocent I am going to give that dork hell, how he dares to…”

Pacifica’s thoughts are interrupted when she sees the thick crust of mud on her designer sneakers, and the mud is not the soft, almost sand like mud found around Singularity Hollow but the dark, thick, sticky mud typical of Gravity Falls.

“No, this is not possible.” She says as she tries to remember what she did that day; she spoke to Sonia Fairway and Townsend a little bit, but quickly left the place and went to her apartment and… that’s it, she has no other recollections of that afternoon. Pacifica puts on the dirty sneakers and runs out to the street: the light in Sonia’s offices is on and she runs there, it doesn’t matter that there is a heavy downpour soaking her to the bone, she needs to know what happened today.

The building is full of people with an appearance that screams security personnel but either they recognize her as the governor’s daughter or have instructions to not obstruct her for they give her free access to the building. Pacifica reaches the doors to Sonia’s offices and kicks open the door.

“Miss Northwest, we didn’t expect to see you so soon.” Sonia tells her.

“You, you, what have you done?” She asks them.

“Only what you allowed us to do, that is all.”

“I would never allow you to hurt the people I hold dear, never.”

Sonia smiles and presses a key on her laptop and a recording stops playing and Pacifica recognizes her voice speaking about the buried UFO, about Ford’s lab, telling how she has now free access to both places.

A screen unfolds on a wall and an image is projected on it, an image from a bodycam showing Pacifica opening the secret hatch door to the UFO and handing her magnetic gun to Sonia as a helicopter hovers behind them.

“No, no, I didn’t do any of those things, I would never….”

“Girl, you did all those things, you have been telling us everything about the Pines for weeks now.”

“No, no, I would remember it... what did you do to me?”

“We did nothing to you, we only took advantage of your father’s work.”

“What work, what are you talking about?”

“Does the words Powerful, Perfect, Northwest stir something in you?” Sonia asks.

A cold sweat covers Pacifica’s forehead when she hears the three words.

“The words need to have a bell ringing between them to have the desired effect, but I guess hearing the three words one after the other made you feel something, didn’t it?”

“So, you use those three words and the bell to put me in some sort of trance, don’t you?”

“Townsend, I told you the girl was smart.”

“I know it Sonia, she is my student, remember?”

“But for something like that to work it would take years of conditioning, have you been keeping tabs on me since I was a little girl?”

“Oh, no, we didn’t do the conditioning, say, do you know of someone who used to ring bells to control you?”

“No, no, he wouldn’t, he might be a jerk but he is my father, and in his own way I know he loves me, he has never tried to control me that way.”

“Because he is weak and besides, while in trance he can ask you to do anything but not when out of it and he can’t always have you in a trance, can he? Maybe he never outright controlled you but he is responsible for making you vulnerable to us. I wouldn’t consider Preston Northwest a good father at all.”

“I will tell the Pines about this, they will believe me, they will help me break free of your control and they will know what to do with you.”

“Please, they have not known what to do with me since we met and Ford is in a binding contract with me sealed with a magical handshake, he can’t try anything against me until a year has passed.”

“Then Dipper will do something.”

“Girl, he will do nothing, if you are here that means that he already knows how you betrayed him, his heart must be so destroyed that I honestly feel sorry for him, he put his love and his trust in someone who didn’t deserve it: through you we have always known how to control him, we have known his plans, even his schedule: do you think I had Alana, Hunter and Garret with me at the Country Club the night you freed the huge manotaur by chance?”

“That, that was a trap.”

“Sure, did you really think we would let you steal that manotaur so easily? We placed a tracker on him, we already have him and his friend once more in our power.”

“But, why? Why allow him to escape, why let us destroy your building?”

“Please read this.” Sonia says, handing Pacifica a paper. After a couple minutes reading it Pacifica says.

“The things written here are the kind that can send you to jail for several lifetimes.”

“Yes, and a copy of that paper has been sent to a Federal Prosecutor.”

“But, why?” Why do this now that you finally have stolen everything the Pines have?”

“I did it because of the new decorations, say, do you like my new carpet?”

Pacifica looks down while thinking, “What has this carpet to do with…. NO!”

Townsend and Sonia stand up and form a circuit with Pacifica and static flows between them.

Pacifica suffers some seconds of disorientation but when she can focus her mind again she sees Townsend helping a young girl get on her feet and that girl is Pacifica herself.

“Sonia, this is so uncomfortable.” He hears the woman that looks just like her say.

“Oh, you will get used to it, and don’t tell me that being rich, attractive and 30 years younger is not worth the sacrifice of your Y chromosome?”

“I am having my doubts.”

“Oh relax, spend some time as Pacifica, learn everything you can from Preston and when we launch his presidential candidacy you can take over him. That will take some fifteen years approximately, and by then, with your knowledge and expertise Pacifica will be ripe to take my place as the head of the agency and I will be there to take that young body as my own.”

Pacifica looks at her hands and sees them wrinkled and marked by some liver spots. She stands up and feels stiff. Her hair is no longer blonde but chestnut with lots of white.

“What have you done?”

“What was needed.” Sonia says as she pulls a gun from his jacket and shoots a dart at Pacifica.

“No, no, you can’t, you…” Pacifica says as she loses consciousness.

That moment Alana enters the room.

“Is it done?”

“Yes, please take that woman to the place you told us about. Are you sure it is secure?”

“Yes, only those of my blood can get inside it, and they will never find that place.”

“Good, then go, we will talk tomorrow.”

Two big men enter the room and put the unconscious Pacifica on a stretcher. They carry her outside and as they chain her inside a dark, windowless van Pacifica starts opening her eyes.

“So, you are awake Northwest, good, now, please answer me: how is this for a revenge?” Alana asks and then laughs as the van doors close.

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