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The rain came falling upon the city—the air cold.
All alone inside the dorm.
When she declined her friends' invitation to a party.
She wasn’t wrong to decline, but she wasn’t wrong she’d feel lonely in this place—either.
She couldn’t help but get lost in thought.
One thought.
That’s all that’s gotten her attention.
The fact she says she’s fine about it.
Her heart shattered making her feel numb.
Yet she feels the cold.
The cruel cold of loneliness.
She loved him—yes.
They tried.
She smiled sadly as she looked at the window—cars down below along with raindrops on her window as she’s all curled up on its seating area due to it being a bay kind.
But she couldn’t help but think.
‘When she knows this was the fate of their relationship, why didn’t she leave that time?’
‘Why did she wait for this—a long-distance relationship to cut everything off finally?’
‘Did she… want to at least feel something?’
‘Was it out of pity?’
Those were the questions in her mind and she couldn’t help but sigh as she looked at her cup—just near her feet.
Coffee.
The smell of coffee.
It was enough to let her clear her mind off of things.
That’s right.
One must not dwell in history.
They must learn.
She only sighed—a small smile forming as she decided to make herself another cup of coffee.
It was the only thing to ease her and her thoughts.
Well… he found someone else.
She’s happy about that.
At least…
~~~
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Sitting on a stool of the kitchen bar while stirring her spoon in her cup of coffee, she now finds herself thinking about her childhood—the time when she was still with him.
The thought of him…
It still lingers in her mind.
Despite 10 years.
Where before she left, they made a promise—a vow.
~~~
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“After 10 years… once you return—we'll be old by then, right?”
She only hummed in response.
“Well… let’s meet again here, after 10 years.” He smiled at her—eyes filled with hope.
“How? How can we be sure we'll meet again?”
“If fate allows us… then yeah.”
Mikasa only looked down and muttered sadly;
“Yeah…”
He only smiled a bit and held her hand reassuringly—even if he, himself, is unsure about it.
“It will happen, Mikasa. Just believe in us.”
He then wrapped his scarf around her and confidently said;
“Because one day… we'll get married.”
~~~
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She only scoffed.
No wonder.
No wonder why she can’t bring herself to love someone else.
All because of a childish promise.
When both of them were young and innocent.
Having no idea what love is.
For 10 years. 10 fucking years.
She kept her faith. She continued to believe.
To believe in them.
But she couldn’t help but think;
‘Is he… also believing in them?’
She only took sips of her coffee.
Its aroma filling her in.
The warmth it's giving her…
It wasn’t enough.
Why?
She still feels the ruthless cold in her hands.
The warm cup being futile at giving her warmth.
Why is she feeling this way?
She should at least be happy she could return.
Back to her home.
Back to him.
Even if… it’s just for 2 weeks.
Maybe the warmth she’s been longing for.
The warmth she’s trying to find again.
The warmth she felt like she lost.
…yet.
How?
How could she… feel like she’s breaking apart?
To be honest, the thought of him not remembering her.
Not remembering their vow.
Him vowing that to someone else—to another girl.
It just… hurts.
It’s painful as hell.
Maybe worse than that.
Because... all her life.
Everything she did to be the best.
Everything she did so she could go back home—to him.
A youthful promise she carried as her encouragement, believing she'll meet him again.
All of it… just to find him with another girl?
Maybe… she's wrong.
The flame of hope is still there.
She'll keep holding on.
Until she sees him.
10 years without knowing what happened to each other.
Stories in that period—she can’t wait to tell him.
If…
He'd still remember…
~~~
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Longing. Yearning. Hoping.
A single prayer. A single wish.
Love. Warmth. Delight.
From the memories of the past.
History.
She all kept it in her heart.
Sincerely. Truthfully. Always.
~~~
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“So excited! I can’t wait to try out all the food there!” Sasha exclaimed as she clasped her hands—the image of food always in her mind.
“Geez, don’t let your temptations of food get to you. Behave. We're meeting Armin's parents. And stay there for 2 weeks.” Annie sternly said.
“Yeah, yeah... but make sure to give him my thanks! I'll be experiencing new food because of him inviting us.”
Sasha then looked at Mikasa who seems to be lost in her thought.
“Hey, Mikasa!”
This made her jolt a bit and look at her—brow raised.
“Didn’t you live there when you were a kid?”
She only nodded a bit.
“How's the food there? Are they good?”
Annie then looked at her then back at Sasha whose eyes are gleaming in excitement.
“W-well uhm—”
“Even if she said it tastes like bullshit, you'd still eat it.” Annie butt in, making Sasha groan and sit back properly.
“Whatever! I'll be the first one to try all of them out!” She whined.
“Won’t stop you.” Annie simply said—taking a glance at Mikasa while she just smiles and mouths a ‘thank you' at her, receiving a nod.
~~~
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Finally, they landed and saw Armin who was waving while on his phone—talking to Annie.
The blonde girl then ran up to him—the other 2 following closely behind.
She hugged him tightly—like they never met each other in a long time.
Well, technically, they only met online and just happen to meet in person right now.
After them breaking their hug, the 2 blondes only looked at them—Mikasa familiar with him but shrugged it off.
“Hi, Armin! I'm Sasha!” She immediately went up to him and shook hands—a bored look on Annie's face.
“Armin. Annie's boyfriend… we met online .” He laughed awkwardly.
Mikasa only remained at her spot—quiet.
Her eyes wandering around when Annie called her name to get her attention—her jolting a bit.
She walked to them—Annie introducing her to Armin while she shakes hands with him.
“Nice to meet you!” He beamed while Mikasa only nodded.
“How about we go to a restaurant? Pretty sure you’re hungry from your flight…” Armin said—Sasha’s excitement going back.
“Really? I would love to! New food will always sound nice. Don’t you agree, Mikasa?” She glanced at her—Mikasa's mind still somewhere.
“Mikasa?”
She looked at her, an apologetic look on her face.
“Sorry, what again?”
“We'll be going to a restaurant. Then go to Armin's house. Sound good?” Annie answered—still clung to Armin.
“R-right.” She smiled awkwardly.
“Welp, time won’t wait. Let’s go.” Annie said as they went to go find an exit where Armin said the van would pick them up.
~~~
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Time went by.
After eating, they went back on the road.
Same sleepers.
She could only look outside.
Everything.
Everything single thing.
Changed.
This was a peaceful town before.
But now it turned foreign.
Buildings and cars on roads of cement along with railways and trains running on the above.
For the first time, she felt lost again.
The expectation of being found in this place she stayed when she was young slowly diminished.
How can she be found in this place that doesn’t look the same?
But that was also her mistake—a dumb one.
Everything changes.
Nobody dwells in the past.
Even if they want to.
Even if in their dreams it was still there because reality will always be where she is.
This realization tugged her heart.
What if he also changed?
It’s been exactly 10 years.
10 years and she finally came back.
Her appearance changed to be a fine young woman.
But she never did.
She still believed—the scarf being a simple reminder.
Maybe he remembers the scarf.
What if he also believed?
What if… he also waited?
~~~
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It was near here.
She could tell.
Just around this place.
Yeah, she could walk it from here.
“Mikasa.” Annie called, receiving a hum.
“You know, you're right here but your mind is somewhere else.”
She looked at her—confusion on her face making the blonde sigh.
“Let me guess, memory or something?”
‘Yes.’
She shook her head no—Annie raising a brow at her.
“Whatever. You seem like you have plans for tomorrow.”
“Not really.”
She rolled her eyes.
“I know you well. You're bullshit at lying.”
A small smile escaped her lips—it was true.
She was always an honest person—brutally one or not.
But she's definitely terrible at lying.
“Geez. Ever since we came here, your mind keeps getting further and further away.”
“Is that so?”
“Look, Mikasa. You can just wander around here. If you still have unfinished business here you left when you were young, finish it.”
Mikasa only looked down and smiled sadly.
“Yeah…”
‘If he kept his faith.’
~~~
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She was there.
The memories flooding in as the park was still the same—even if there were just a few additions and renovations.
The benches… they were still there.
Mikasa then went to find the same bench they used to sit down and enjoy the breeze.
When she found it, a guy was sitting down—taking a nap.
She couldn’t help but reminisce.
They’d take naps together there a lot before.
But it seems like it’s occupied.
She looked down and sighed…
Maybe he did get tired of waiting.
As if her body had its own mind, she was shocked that she was now walking to it—to him.
Step by step—closer.
The guy napping peacefully seemed to feel her presence—opening his eyes a bit and looking up.
Emerald eyes meeting… familiar gray ones.
Those gray eyes, he only thought of one person who had them.
But his gaze switched to her neck—a red scarf.
He glanced at the face—her eyes only widening as realization hit her.
“E-Eren?” She stuttered—all emotions flowing inside her.
His eyes only widened hearing his name—the soft voice he always heard before.
The voice he had always missed all these years.
“…Mikasa?”
She felt her heart pump faster—like it’s hammering her chest wanting to get out.
They… did meet.
10 years of being separated.
10 years without each other.
Her lips quivered—like she felt relieved, glad to see him again...
She could feel her body shiver… like the cold invaded her space—wrapping her in it.
He stood up.
He wanted to know if this was all a dream.
If this was real or another trick of his imagination.
He… embraced her.
Heart racing as he could feel her.
Her warmth.
That’s when he realized.
This wasn’t like any other dream.
Because the Mikasa in his dreams, no matter how many times he embraced her—she was cold as the winters without her.
This was… reality.
She hugged him back—feeling her tears stream down her face.
She couldn’t believe it.
For 10 years of longing for someone.
Longing for him.
He's here, embracing her like if he ever let go, she’ll vanish away into thin air.
The warmth she feels.
Maybe that’s the reason for her tears.
She felt warmth again…
She was glad.
They pulled away.
He only looked at her—like he had found something missing in his life.
He only smiled a bit as caressed her cheeks with his hands—wiping the tears away. Mikasa only indulging in the warmth of his touch that she missed.
“You're... here."
“Yes…” She replied softly while smiling—the smile Eren had missed through these years.
And with that, he wrapped her in his arms again—both giving in to the warmth of each other.
~~~
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Maybe that’s what it feels like.
The fact that you'll feel warm when you’re in their arms again.
That when you’re in their embrace, the cold you felt before disappear.