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Marinette was sitting on the balcony in the middle of the night after watching Kagami and Adrien kiss. As she stares out into the dark parisian sky there are a million thoughts going through her mind. They all end up jumbling into a mess of self pity, something that she shouldn’t be feeling because she loves him. And a part of loving is seeing him happy, but man it still hurts. Is this how Chat feels all the time? Is she putting him through this much pain all the time?
She shook the thoughts from her head and ended up wiping away the tears she didn’t even know fell from her eyes before something went wrong and she ended up getting akumatized. She opens up the attic door down into her room and climbs into her bed, closing her eyes in hope of some sleep and for all of this to be a bad dream when she wakes up. Tikki who is still secretly awake, looks over at her sad, tear streaked face and sighs. She didn’t like seeing her girl so down.
Marinette wakes up the next morning with almost an emotional hangover: heavy heart, eyes and head. But one of the biggest parts of being ladybug is making sure no one is suspicious and making sure she doesn't get akumatized. Meaning there is no room for error, no room for sick days, no room for these negative emotions, and no room for a broken heart that’s for sure.
She jumps up quickly washing her face and putting on some concealer to cover her tired circles under her eyes. She adds some blush and lip gloss before putting her hair into her signature pigtails and changing. She runs downstairs and grabs a croissant before dashing out the door to meet Alya and walk to school.
On the walk to school Alya is talking about what her and Nino did over the weekend. Marinette's mind is elsewhere, floating about how she's going to have to face Adrien and pretend she's okay. Not that he will notice, she can't seem to form a sentence around him so maybe being quiet around him will do her some good.
“Mari, are you even listening to me?” Alya asks, raising her eyebrow at Marinette who was clearly not listening.
“Oh god, I’m sorry Alya. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I was, uhm, up creating a new design.” Marinette smiles sheepishly towards Alya
“Yeah I bet for Adrien to model, Huh?” Alya says nudging her with her elbow.
Immediately Marinette's smile falls off her face and she drops her head down. Alya frowns not knowing what she said wrong. “Mari I-” She starts.
“It's good, school is starting soon! We don't wanna be late.” Marinette says speeding up and walks into the classroom. Seemingly shrinking into herself in hopes to avoid Adrien seeing her. However, she isn't so lucky and Adrien waves at her as soon as she walks in. Making Marinette just walk faster and avoiding his eye contact. He looks towards Alya, confused, who just shrugs and goes to sit next to Marinette.
Marinette barely makes it through the day without shedding any tears but somehow she does it. You’re okay, You can move on, It's gonna be okay. A mantra going on over and over again in her head. As soon as they get dismissed at the end of the day she is out of the door before Alya or Adrien could even get up to talk to her.
“Is she okay? She looked so sad all of today?” Adrien asks, concerned, turning to Alya.
“I don't know, She's been off all of today but she won't talk about it.” Alya says, frowning, worried about her best friend who just wasn’t herself today. “Do you think you could go talk to her? Nino and I have a date planned, and maybe you'll be able to break through in that stubborn bluenettes head.”
Adrien frowned, he was supposed to patrol with Ladybug today. But on the other hand Marinette is his friend, and clearly she wasn't okay. At the end of the day, he can’t let down Paris or his Lady. “I can’t Alya, I have a photoshoot today and my Father would kill me. I’m sorry.”
“No it's okay, she probably needs some time alone anyways. I’ll text her tonight to see if she wants to talk.” Alya says, and at that she waves and goes to find Nino to probably play more Super Pinguino in a supply closet somewhere.
Adrien sighs, but rushes home so he isnt late for his patrol with Ladybug.
Marinette gets home and immediately crashes on to her bed. All she wants to do is curl up and cry after the exhausting day she had, but she knows she has to patrol with Chat Noir. As much as the kitty is good as cheering her up, something tells her it won’t work today.
“Ready?” Tikki says, but looks sympathetic like she knows what's going on. Knowing her Kwami, she probably does.
She nods tiredly, “Tikki, spots on.” As quick as she transformed she's out the door and jumping off her roof and starting to make her way toward her and Chat’s meeting place. Since she makes it there first she sits on the roof outlooking paris. What went so wrong? How do I pretend to be happy when all I do is make others happy? Question on questions forming in her head, til she finally she drops her head onto her knees and lets the sadness overtake her.
Chat Noir slowly sneaks up behind her, ready for a sneak attack, until he sees her posture and stops. First Mari, and now Ladybug, what is happening? He asks himself. He watches her small frame start to tremble and his heart breaks even more than he thought was possible. Right as he is about to give her space, the possibility of her getting akumatized pops into his head and he has to protect his lady.
“M’lady?” He says quietly not wanting to startle her, as he goes to sit next to her.
“Chat, Hey. Are we ready?” Her voice trembles in the beginning but she clears her voice to steady it, and begins to get up.
“Hey slow down,” He pulls her arm down so she falls into his side, “Tell a kitty what's wrong? I've got purrr-fect hearing.”
She chuckles softly but shakes her head, “Nothing kitty don’t worry about me.”
He sighs, “We don’t have to talk but you look like you need a hug, so I'm going to give you a hug.” He slowly wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her neck.
For a second she tenses, until the tension from her body leaves and she hugs him back. She closes her eyes, this is what she needed all day. Her eyes start to well up with tears and one falls from her cheek onto his neck. His hand moves to the back of her head and he cradles her in his arms. At this simple touch all of her resolve crumbles and she breaks. She sobs into his neck and curls into him even more. He sits there and just whispers into her neck, “You’re okay, I’ll protect you.”
After what seemed like a long time of her breaking down she pulls back and wipes her cheeks, “I’m sorry Chat, I didn’t mean to get so upset.”
“Never apologize for your emotions, I'm glad you trusted me enough to let you hold you through it.”
Ladybug gives him a small smile, her cheeks dusting a light pink at Chat’s words, sometimes she wonders if she really just had platonic feelings for him. She sighs and looks out into the city they protect, “The boy i’m in love with loves someone else. Or at least he's with someone else. And I know we aren't supposed to talk about our real identities and who we are behind the masks but I just don't have anyone else to talk to.” She looks down, “Or anyone I trust. When's it gonna be my turn, Chat? He has no reason to love me back, I can’t even form a sentence around him. And she's so perfect for him. Poised, put together, sweet, she understands what he goes through. Kagami is perfect for him...”
Amidst her rambling she didn’t even notice that she said Kagami's real name, making everything click in Chat Noir's head. Marinette was sad today, as was his ladybug. Marinette was the only one that knew about him and Kagami, Marinette who blushed everytime around him and couldn't form a sentence around him. Marinette with the same freckles, midnight blue pigtails and gorgeous eyes as his lady. He interrupted her mid train of thought, “Did you just say Kagami? Kagami Tsurugi? Ladybug..”
Her head whips up and she notices her mistake, “Do you know her?” She asks wearily.
He sighs, “God, i'm so stupid. How did it take me this long to figure it out?” He stood up quickly and picked her up. Starting to make his way from rooftop to rooftop back to Marinette's room. He climbs down the ladder and sets her down.
She’s fumbling with her words, “What if she comes up and sees us-”
He holds up a finger before saying something that made her stop in her tracks, “Plagg, Claws in.” She blinked and standing in front of her was no more than Adrien Agreste. The only boy she has ever loved. Her mouth drops open as she all tries to make sense of it, she can't decide if this is a nightmare or a dream. “Mari, transform back, it's okay.”
“Tikki, spots off.” She says with a shaky voice. Tikki looks at Adrien with wide eyes but he just shakes his head. Tikki and Plagg decide to give them some place and go into the empty apartment below. “You knew, how did you know?”
“Marinette, I mean you, were sad all day. And then Ladybugs breakdown. It just all made sense. I didn't know I was the boy you loved, M’lady.”
“But you’re with Kagami, so it doesn't even matter.” Marinette says, remembering why she was sad in the first place.
“No I'm not, after she kissed me I told her I was in love with someone else.” Adrien says shaking his head, grabbing her hand softly.
“Ladybug, not me Adrien.” Marinette argues pulling her hand from his.
Adrien grabs her face so he looks up at her, “You are Ladybug, Mari. And I definitely felt things for you too at first but you never wanted to talk to me so I assumed you didn't really like me.”
Marinette laughs softly and lets her head fall against his chest, “Wow, what a bunch of idiots we are, god I cried in front of you.”
“It's okay Bugaboo, I’ll always protect you from whatever is hurting you. ” He kissed the top of her head and from that moment she knew his words were true. Maybe not everything is figured out, but it will be.