Chapter Text
"WAKE UP, YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKER!"
A hand shot out from underneath the massive pile of blankets and smashed itself against the snooze button. Dave slowly sat up and cursed his past self for allowing Karkat to set his alarm, thanking any deity listening for the absence of a heart attack. His hand went on another mission as it groped blindly around the nightstand before it found what it was searching for. He put on his shades and flopped out of bed onto the ground, and slowly crawled out into the hallway.
"You look absolutely pathetic." Karkat remarked from the stairwell, as he watched Dave's theatrics. Dave simply rolled onto his back and exaggeratedly threw his arm to his forehead.
"Man, I cannot explain to you the pain I feel. The pain that I alone must bear, wandering endlessly through space and time for a glint of hope, a sliver of magic so fucking beautiful children cry upon the sight." Karkat simply shot a look at Dave and went back down the stairs. "Whatever, shitlord. There's coffee in the kitchen."
Dave finally returned to a vertical state of existence and followed Karkat to the ground floor, then detoured and went into the kitchen. He took out a mug his bro had given him (for his birthday, with a crudely drawn caricature of himself on it) and filled it halfway with coffee, then went over to the fridge and poured apple juice in.
"Really, Dave?" A voice asked from the doorway.
"Don't judge." Dave replied. "It tastes awesome."
"For you, perhaps." Rose scrunched up her nose before getting coffee herself.
"So, we got any emergencies today? Any cats in trees or whatever?" Dave asked as he leaned against the counter.
"You should know by now that our work is more serious than cats stuck in trees, Dave." Rose scolded. "But to answer your question, most likely. An underground excavation attempt is being carried out in Rwanda. It is almost positive it won't end well."
"What, you mean we actually know about an accident before it happens for once? I thought we just waited for Jade's mayday call."
"Father believes we can be more efficient and reduce risk of casualty by informing ourselves beforehand of any major operations."
"Nice." Dave emptied the last dregs of his coffee into the sink. "When is this shit going down?"
"The excavation is taking place at 2 o'clock."
"Enough time to pester Dirk. Sayonara, Rose." Dave sailed away from the kitchen in the direction of his brother's room.
"See you, Dave." Rose called after him.
Dave could hear the music flowing from Dirk's room from the farthest end of the hallway. It was difficult to figure out what kind of song it actually was as power tools were clearly in use here, and pretty fucking loud.
Dave swore to god, if the fucker was playing that weird classical fake dubstep bullshit he'd kick his ass. (And probably get his ass handed to him instead, as Dirk was not a force to be fucked with.)
After a minute of pounding on Dirk's door and yelling obscene phrases Dave was blessed with the sight of his older brother.
"Is there something you want, or is annoying the shit out of me your newest hobby?" Dirk scowled.
“Lemme in.” Dave prodded Dirk’s chest.
“Let’s see, how about…” Dirk made to close the door. “Nah.”
Ignoring his brother, Dave pushed right past him and headed immediately for the bed, lounging upon it. Dirk simply sighed and shut the door, then returned to his chair.
“Whatcha building there?” Dave asked, pointing to the massive pile of metal placed on the workbench.
“I’m fixing the grappling hooks from the recovery vehicles of your aircraft. I’m being productive, an activity you’ve obviously never participated in.”
“Whatever.” Dave stared at Dirk’s various posters. “Have you heard about today’s probable mission?”
“Rose told me about it. Have you made yourself more efficient and reduced the risk of casualty?”
Dave snorted. “Does it look like I’m doing any pre-planning here?”
“True, I mean, you’ve decided to waste your time, just like you’ve been doing for your entire life.”
“Fuck you. But anyways, we’ll probably need the mole and the excavator for this underground bullshit.”
“Yeah.” Dirk nodded. “But I guess we might need more machines in case there’s a fire or something. A collapsion would be a worst case scenario.”
“No, a worst case scenario would be if aliens came and caused a landslide, then sudden sharknado and fireballs hurled down by Zeus himself.”
“Not so sure that’s gonna happen, little bro. Anyways, it’s twelve-thirty so dad probably wants to have a chit-chat with us all before this shit happens.”
Dave slouched against the living room wall, eyes out of focus as they stared at the screen Jade was going to pop up on soon. Family gatherings took place almost every day, usually as briefings on some sort of mission. There was also the added entertainment value of family bickering with each other, and the intervention of friends.
Dave’s father, the leader of their group he liked to call ‘International Rescue’ was standing at the window, seemingly gazing at the scenery as he smoked his pipe. Not all of Dave’s siblings were here, as only Dirk and Rose were present. Eridan was probably out somewhere banging Sollux, their tech-guy. Dave snickered at his own thought, and tried to ignore the mental image that was threatening to make an appearance. Roxy had just arrived, with her chauffeur/butler the Mayor in tow. Roxy was the group’s agent, so to speak. Dave envied her for her large Rolls-Royce Phantom that had multiple machine guns strewn upon it. Spewing improper phrases in the corner was Karkat, their manager. Next to him was his sister Kanaya, calmly answering all of Karkat’s outbursts.
A few moments later Eridan and Sollux finally made an appearance, arguing with each other over some minuscule problem. As the clock struck twelve-forty everyone turned expectantly towards the screen, which flickered to life.
“Hey, guys!” Jade waved from the video monitor.
An assortment of ‘hello’s and ‘yo’s greeted her from the people back on earth.
Their father stepped to the front of the room. “Good afternoon, Jade. I hope everything in the space station is running well?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine!” Jade grinned and held a dog in front of her. “Say hi, Bec!”
The dog barked confusedly at the projected images of people on the monitor. Jade gently put Bec on the ground.
“So you’ve all heard about the excavation that’s happening today, right?” She asked.
“Yes, I believe everyone was informed.” Their father replied, and then turned to face the people in the room. “Dirk, Dave and Sollux will be on standby at the site, while Jade gives updates on the situation. Rose and Eridan may be sent to help if this goes wildly awry.”
“And I’ll be making sure none of you guys are made publicized!” Roxy giggled, sloshing her drink around. “Good luck!”
“It would be best if everyone would take position in the next half-hour. As Roxy has said, good luck to you all.”