Work Text:
Spring, 1994
“Maybe we should get a cat.”
Dani sits in the window seat in the familiar little corner of their bedroom, nursing a cup of hot chocolate on her stomach. Their flat smells of toast and lavender incense.
It smells like home, as it always does.
Outside it is dark; the sky is clear and the stars are bright. Distant, orange glows of windows give the city a certain sense of coziness - a strange feeling that one would not expect in such a busy area.
Living there for years as Dani has, though, she knows that the city is more than meets the eye - it is these things that make her love it.
“A cat?” Jamie lifts herself into the space opposite her, her own mug in her hands.
“Yeah. I think it would be nice to have around the house.” Her feet outstretch so that they are burrowed between Jamie’s bare knees, bodies slotted together as if they were designed for this and this only.
“Would be cute, sure.”
Both of their heads turn towards the landscape outside. They do this a lot; Dani had told her that she likes to look at lit up windows, wondering about who might live there. Sometimes she conjures up little stories for them - in one far off window, the lights are changing from purple blue to green to red. Maybe someone is dancing in there, by themselves or with other people, Jamie thinks; maybe they are with their lover, gently swaying to a slow tune.
It’s small things like this that Jamie loves about her. She loves that they get to share this. She loves that they can sit in silence, as they are doing now, and feel entirely content.
Two people, hand in hand, walk the dark streets below, and one of them pulls the other in and kisses the side of their head, as if they had just said the smartest thing.
She looks over at her wife, and sees that she is deep in thought. A small smile spreads across her face as she thinks about how truly precious and beautiful Dani is. Her hair sits in a low ponytail, and her eyes twinkle, a reflection of the stars outside. Even the stars aren’t as beautiful as her.
Her heart feels full; she finds that lately, that feeling has become more noticeable. Maybe it is to do with the ring that loops itself around her finger.
The low lamp light makes Dani look more like an angel than a woman. A golden river gently caresses its way down her neck, reaching to just below her shoulder blades. If the Gods are real, Jamie tells herself, this woman is their masterpiece.
Dani shifts her gaze to her, and a bright smile illuminates her gorgeous face. “What?”
“Nothing,” she beams, holding her adoring stare. “I just… Love you.”
Dani quietly laughs to herself, and uses her foot to playfully kick her thigh. She shuffles over to her, and revels in the feeling of Jamie’s palm resting against her cheek. “You going soft on me?” She says, voice barely above a whisper.
“We both know that happened a long time ago.”
They both laugh again, before their lips come together in a silent agreement. “I love you.”
Jamie suddenly gets up, taking Dani by surprise. She turns on their old vinyl - she had found it at a charity shop - and It’s Been a Long, Long Time by Harry James begins to play.
She holds out a hand and raises an eyebrow, provoking a bubble of laughter from the other woman. “You’re ridiculous,” she snorts, taking her hand, as she will always do.
Their bodies come together, Jamie’s hands around Dani’s waist and Dani’s hands resting on the back of her shoulders. She feels like every decision she has made has led up to this moment, with Jamie.
Jamie withdraws when the singer starts saying “kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again,” and Dani immediately gets it, kissing her along with the tune.
“I love you,” she whispers, between each kiss, finding she can’t ever say it enough.
How could something as precious and lovely as Jamie exist in a world as hard as this, and how did she get so lucky as to exist at the same time as her?
Maybe they have been together in every lifetime.
That would explain why Dani feels like she has always known Jamie. When she first walked into that kitchen all those years ago at Bly Manor, she felt completely calm - which was odd, and she also felt like she had known Jamie for her whole life, if not even longer.
There is seemingly one explanation for this: they are from the same star.
Summer
Pleasant sounds of birdsong fill the sweet air, and scents of oranges meet Jamie’s nostrils.
The clouds, of which she is meticulously studying, float in and out of her view - the blue sky is mostly clear today. Summer sun traverses its way over her visible skin; she is wearing a short-sleeved, white shirt with dumb little plants on it (Dani had gifted it to her for her birthday, and what kind of a monster would she have to be not to wear it), and beige shorts that stop mid-thigh.
Her hair is tied back, the fallen strands at the front damp with sweat, and she wears dark, rounded sunglasses to finish the look.
Nimble fingers sweep their way through her tousled hair, and she closes her eyes at the pure gentleness of the touch.
“Is your nose burnt yet?” Dani asks, fingers moving to pinch Jamie’s nose and causing her to dramatically squirm.
“No. The tree is giving me shade, remember?”
The two of them are under a relatively small orange tree, which is providing them with the smallest bit of shade. Dani is loving the sun - with her sunhat casting a shadow over her face and suncream on the parts of the body that are not covered by her yellow dress.
She had told Jamie to wear suncream, but, stubborn as ever, she had chosen to ignore Dani’s advice.
“It’s all red.”
“No it’s not.”
“Yes it is,” Dani reaches for her bag and pulls out a hand mirror, handing it to Jamie.
At the sight of the red inflammation, she sits up and pats her face. “Dani! You didn’t tell me.”
“Yes I did! When we were leaving the house, I said: ‘Jamie, you’re going to regret not wearing sunscreen,’ and here you are, regretting it!”
“It stings!”
“We can pick up some after sun on the way home. Stop being such a baby.”
She reaches over and takes her hat straight from her head, before placing it over her face.
“Hey!”
“I need it,” she groans, settling her head back onto Dani’s stomach.
In a way, it is quite brave of them to be so openly affectionate in a public space. People have been walking by, and they have received one or two looks, but nothing serious.
One instance, however, was a girl, about 15 if Dani had to guess. She saw her hand lazily stroking through Jamie’s scalp, and her walk slowed down almost to a complete stop.
She tilted her head curiously, as if wondering what relation the two women shared. When Dani looked up at her, she gave her a small, embarrassed smile before rushing off.
“Hm. That was weird,” she had said, returning to her book.
“What?”
“A girl was staring at us, but not in like a bad way, I think.”
“Hm. Strange.”
A thought occurs to Dani in this moment; maybe the girl felt a sense of comfort at seeing the two women loving each other so openly. Maybe she herself is gay. Or maybe she was judging.
The car is excessively hot when they begin to drive, but they open up all the windows and enjoy the way the air runs over their skin.
On the way home, they pull into a road full of little shops, and Dani dips into one and grabs a bottle of after sun, then gets two ice cream cones from the parlour next door. Lemon sorbet for herself, and rocky road for Jamie.
Instead of driving straight back to their flat, Jamie drives them up a hill, taking a lick of the ice cream that Dani is holding every now and again. She gets out of the car and lays the blanket from the backseat onto the front of the car.
Both of them hop onto the bonnet and eat their ice cream, hands linked together. There is a comfortable silence in the air, and Dani feels peace settle deep within her bones.
Her head tips onto Jamie’s shoulder, and she closes her eyes. “How’s your nose?”
“Fine.”
“I’ll get the after sun.”
Before Jamie can protest, Dani is reaching into the bag and pulling out the bottle. She squirts some on her hand and Jamie finishes the last of her cone, then positions herself beside her.
“Ouch.”
“Stop whining.”
She spreads a generous amount of it onto Jamie’s skin, then kisses the tip of her nose.
“Bet I look like an idiot.”
“You look beautiful.”
A shy smile appears on Jamie’s face, and they look at each other; Dani’s gaze is all she needs to know that she means it. She could tell her that a million times, and still mean it.
Plush lips find each other, and Dani can feel the curve of Jamie’s lips against hers. She giggles and wraps her arms around her.
They don’t pay much attention to the beautiful colours casting over the sky behind them. Instead, their hands find each other and their fingers lace together, and a cosmic reassurance of how this is supposed to be settles within her.
Autumn
The door of Owen’s house swings open, and his refulgent smile greets them; it feels like a warm ray of sunshine.
They hug him, and step inside. There are decorations all over his house - fake spider webs on the bricks outside, dark curtains with skulls hanging from them in the doorway, and other spooky things.
“Let me guess,” he says as he steps into the kitchen and spins around to face them. He looks at Jamie’s classic old suit and bowlers hat, then at Dani’s brown skirt, striped tee and small jacket. Her hair is pulled taut into a low bun. “Rich pig and trophy wife?”
“What?”
“We’re Bonnie and Clyde!” Jamie shrieks, slapping his arm. “What are you? A twink?”
Dramatically, he spins around and grabs a pair of sunglasses to add to his white tank top and light denim jeans. “I’m Freddie Mercury.”
“Safe to say we’ve outshone you in the costume department.”
“I love your outfit, Owen,” Dani says, rolling her eyes and putting a bottle of vodka on the kitchen island. “So who’s coming tonight?”
“Just a few friends.”
“Didn’t know you had friends. Other than us, of course,” Jamie says, already opening a packet of crisps that she had bought.
“We’re not all like you, Jamie. I’m going to grab the cranberry juice and start on the woo woos.”
“Okay.”
Owen glides out of the room, and Dani turns to face her wife. “Have I told you how good you look in that suit.”
“Only about three times on the way, and twice at home, but I don’t think I’d mind hearing it one more time.”
Dani slides her hands under her blazer, and joins them at the back. “Well, you look amazing.”
“And you look beautiful.”
They kiss and Jamie lifts her onto the island, resting her hands on her thighs. “I wish this dress was shorter,” she plays with the hem of her dress and smiles.
“Yeah?” Dani giggles.
“Yeah.”
She slips a tongue into Jamie’s mouth and burrows her hand in her hair.
“These Woo Woos aren’t going to shake themselves!” Owen comes back in, loudly shaking the cocktails over his shoulder.
She takes a step back from the counter as Dani drops down to her feet and straightens out her dress, then takes the cocktail shaker from him.
A few hours later, the house is bustling with bodies. Everyone is dressed in gorgeous costumes, and halloween-themed snacks that Owen has spent time making are being passed around.
Jamie pops a marshmallow that has been made to look like an eyeball in her mouth, and dusts her fingers off.
She feels a hand on her lower back and turns around to see Dani. “Hi.”
“Hi,” they greet each other with a kiss, seemingly becoming more nonchalant with showing their affection around friends.
“How do you like the party?”
“Ah you know - the ones in America are better.”
“Liar,” Jamie grins, taking a shot of vodka and handing one to Dani.
Owen finds them then, and they raise their glasses to life - because it has given them this: a family, happiness, and love.
They play games that involve what is probably too much alcohol, and take photos with Dani’s Polaroid. The couple make a few friends too - Owen keeps good company. By the end of the night, the two of them can barely stand up.
Owen insists that they stay in the spare room - they have spare clothes there from other times when game nights had carried on into the AM or they had planned on driving home but had a bit too much to drink.
Both of them get into large T-shirts, then climb into bed. Jamie clings to Dani’s body when she flops onto the mattress. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” fingers thread through brown curls. “Do you think Owen will ever get over Hannah?”
“Hmm,” she hums into her chest, “maybe not. I wouldn’t if it was you.”
A heavy sadness creeps into the bed like a silent assassin, and they stay quiet for a minute, just listening to each other breathe.
There are unspoken words there; when it’s you. Dani’s time will come around, no matter how much Jamie refuses it.
“I don’t want to go. I love you too much.”
The words hit Jamie’s drunk heart, and she finds enough sobriety to pray to fate that it would be kind to them, that it would listen to them.
Her grip tightens on Dani’s shirt then, and she clings to her as if she is the only still thing in a spinning world.
Tears prick at her eyes; she doesn’t want Dani to see her cry, so she makes extra effort in burrowing her face into the safe haven of her chest.
“I don’t want you to go either.”
Dani’s thoughts are muddled, and the room is rapidly turning. She’ll vomit if she’s not careful. “Jamie?”
“Yeah?”
Their voices are soft, delicate; as if something could break if they speak too loud.
“Look at me a minute?”
Jamie sits up, and she really doesn’t mean for a tear to roll down her cheek in that moment, but it does nevertheless. The blonde wipes the tear away with the pad of her thumb, trying to fight back her own tears.
“You can love other people, you know? When I’m gone.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Jamie.”
“I don’t want to. I’ll never love anyone as I love you. Dani, you’re my best friend.”
That is true - Jamie often thinks that if she were to lose Dani, she’d miss her as a friend more than a lover.
Before pressing a kiss to Jamie’s lips, she sighs at the messiness of it all, then she pulls her into her, as if they could become one person if they tried hard enough.
Hands thread through brown hair, and lips are being pressed to her forehead. “We’ll be okay, Jay.”
Both of them shut their eyes.
Winter
“Mm,” Dani hums as she tips her head back, sending a plume of smoke into the air above her.
Jamie watches the angle of her jaw, the perfections of her face. She thinks of the sculptures, the statues that had been crafted by the likes of Michael angelo, and knows that they would have loved to carve Dani; her wife. Silly him, dying when he did - he had truly missed out.
One of her favourite songs is playing, and both of them are in their own little bubble of warmth. Everything is perfect.
She passes the joint to Jamie, watching as she brings it to her lips and inhales some of the smoke. It lights up as she breathes in, and Dani thinks that maybe her own face had lit up too at the beautiful sight of her.
Dani takes another drag after Jamie, then looks at her, watches as her mouth curves at the edges. She wonders if there’s a thing that is more than love; if there is, they have it.
“You know I love you madly?”
“Mhm. I know,” Jamie grins, careful not to drop the weed as she kisses her. Her kisses make every inch of Jamie’s skin feel as though it is made from something ethereal. She bites her lip, and she has a sun trapped between her teeth. “I love you, Poppins.”
The door buzzes, and they separate. “Pizza!” Dani shrieks, jumping to her feet. She practically flies to the door, tipping the driver and hastily taking the pizza boxes from his hands.
She places them on the bed, and smokes the last of the weed whilst Jamie props open the boxes. Her eyes twinkle like Christmas lights, and she sparkles.
“I read a book,” Dani says as she tosses the paper out of the window and sits beside Jamie, “it said in Greek mythology humans were made with two arms, two legs and two faces. Zeus was scared of their power so he split us in two. We spend our lives searching for our other half that we were separated from, then we become whole.”
“That’s… I like that,” she nods, and softly smiles as if she understands everything.
“So do I… I’m so glad we found each other.”
Jamie leans into the warm space that is Dani. “I love you.”
“I love you too. When I…” She pulls back so that she can speak, “when I go.”
“Dani.”
“When I go, don’t forget me.”
A sigh leaves Jamie’s lips, like she can’t believe it, and she gently cups her face. “Darling, the stars will go out before I ever forget you.”
Desperate lips crash together, sending Jamie toppling backwards onto the bed. They hold each other like hope. Moans topple to the surface, and soon she is rising out of herself, arching up into Dani, needing her like the sun, like some far-off star: never seen, never identified, but always there, always possible.
There is heat radiating off the two of them when they melt into one being as their souls so desire, and with each touch of skin, flowers bloom.