Archive of Our Own

It's not as if anyone had directly told him such. If anything, it was the opposite. The last time he had told Sir Zhongli those beliefs he'd gotten a firm scolding. And since it was Zhongli, that might as well be the equivalent of being yelled at for anyone else.

So when he wakes up one morning, the vague feel of trailing warmth running down his back, he dimly thinks ah, so this is my real birthday, then promptly stands up and ignores the mark completely, setting about the rest of his day.

He stretches as he walks into the dining area, blinking blearily as Hu Tao waves enthusiastically at him. He dips his head in greeting, grabs his food, and slips to sit next to the young knight.

"So," Hu Tao leans forward, her chin propped up on her hands. "How's the day been~"

"Hu Tao," Chongyun mumbles tiredly. "It's barely even dawn there is no day yet."

"Well there has been for me."

"Did you even sleep at all then?" Xiao shoots the girl a look. "I'll admit you're entertaining but please don't pass out during training."

"Ooooh Xiao called me entertaining."

"That's what you focus on?"

Chongyun groans, then falls forward, banging his head on the table. "Just eat. And stop talking so loudly. Maybe it'll wake me up. We've gotta get out and get changed in half an hour."

---

"YOU GOT A SOULMATE?"

Xiao winces as Bennett shrieks, then pulls the shirt back down his head. He'd tried to get changed as quickly as possible, but Bennett had walked in right as Xiao had pulled his shirt up, giving the younger boy full view of the golden flowers trailing along his backside.

"Yes?"

"And you never told us?" The younger boy is waving his hands around erratically, gaping at Xiao.

"I don't see why?"

"It's your soulmate- wait doesn't that mean your birthday is today. You didn't tell anyone your birthday either? Oh my Archons happy birthday I'll go-"

"There's no need," Xiao sighs. "I didn't know it was my birthday either. And soulmates don't matter that much to me. I'm serving as a guard. My loyalty is to the royal family and not to any distractions."

"But they're your soulmate-"

"That's the same argument twice. It doesn't matter to me."

Bennett makes this high-pitched spluttering noise in protest, and Xiao simply strides past him.

---

He's not surprised Hu Tao knows by the time lunch rolls around, or the fact that she immediately starts screaming, hollering at Xiangling to come over. What he is surprised by, however, is the young chef's reaction.

"Golden flowers?" She furrows her brows. "That- sounds familiar?"

Xiao raises an eyebrow at her.

"Outrider Amber- you remember her, right? Before she got promoted."

"Yeah?"

"Her soulmark is these blue flowers that run along her shoulders."

"So..."

"Do you think she could be your soulmate?"

"I'm not into women, Xiangling. And even if I were we both have our duties."

"Okay, one." Xiangling hefts herself up to sit on the table, raising a finger. "Soulmates don't have to be romantic. They can be platonic too. Two," She raises another finger. "It's fine to take a break every once in a while you know."

Xiao grumbles, and turns away from the chef.

---

Amber is not his soulmate. He checks. 

---

The matter of soulmarks drops after a week, and Xiao virtually never hears of it again in the coming years, save for the moment where Chongyun admitted to being Xingqiu's, a noble's son, soulmate not long after the latter's birthday passed. 

He'd rather enjoyed that time of more-or-less quiet (it's never quiet around Hutao. She's entertaining, yes, but when he's the target of the pranks, it becomes less so) when the streak was broken by Chongyun, of all people. 

"A bright green bird? Where did you hear this from?"

"Xingqiu. He gossips."

"Ah. I like Xingqiu. You should introduce us some time."

"No. I can deal with each of you one at a time. Not both."

"Awww pity. What about the princess?"

"Flame rabbits, or something like that."

Hu Tao hums. "Sounds like Amber."

"Amber?"

"Yeah, I saw the two of them sneak out into the field at like, two in the morning the other night to spar." Hu Tao shrugs. "Amber's a flame mage, and doesn't she remind you of a bunny?"

"Um." Chongyun blinks. "Sure?"

Xiao sighs, loud and exasperated, then stands up from his seat and walks off.

---

"You all owe me 200 mora each. I was right." Hu Tao cackles as she strolls onto the training field two weeks later.

"When did we make a bet out of this?" Chongyun lowers his claymore and turns to face the girl.

"Well I'm saying we did."

"Please stop gambling." Xiao sighs, spinning his polearm in his hand.

"Aww, come on, just admit you're curious." Hu Tao snickers from behind her hand. Xiao shoots her an unimpressed look.

Hu Tao strides over, then props herself against the half-wall. "Amber is Lumine's soulmate."

"Please stop speaking so casually of-"

"Amber's soulmark is these five-petaled blue flowers."

Xiao narrows his eyes.

"Your soulmark is the same flowers but gold."

Chongyun stares at Hutao, whips around to stare at Xiao, then turns back to face Hu Tao. "No."

Hu Tao grins. "Yes."

Xiao stabs his spear into the ground. "No. I haven't even met him before. And I have my duties to not-"

"Not yet you haven't-" Hu Tao sings. "And forget rank, I saw Amber making out with-"

Xiao throws the spear at Hu Tao.

He misses. Pity.

Hu Tao simply cackles, then grabs Chongyun by the collar and dashes off, no doubt to relay the news to Xiangling.

---

He hadn't always lived within the walls of the palace. A long time ago, he was just any other street rat, a kid stealing bread, fighting back, trying to survive. There are a lot of blanks, things he doesn't remember, people he forgot. Zhongli had found him one day, and Xiao can not remember anything from before then.

His birthday, his real one, is marked on his calendar, but he barely pays it any attention. He wonders, if once upon a time, he celebrated that birthday like how Zhongli celebrates the day he found him.

Xiao lays awake, staring at the ceiling that is painted with moonlight. Chongyun had snuck out to go meet with Xingqiu again, so that just Xiao alone in the room.

Xiao blinks, then props himself up on his elbows. It's another restless night, he figures. Normally he would just lay awake, staring at a ceiling, but for some reason, tonight, he pulls himself out of bed, slips on his shoes, and disappears past the door.

He can see why Hu Tao always slips out past curfew. The courtyard outside is cool and quiet, nothing like the usual stuffy clamor. It is calm, a stark difference from the usual day time rowdiness.

He slips into the courtyard, walking towards the far wall to pull out a wooden pole. Someone shifts on the other side of the rack, and Xiao freezes.

A golden-eyed boy peers past the weapon, blinks twice, then swears. "Shit."

Xiao raises an eyebrow at him, stepping back from the racks. "You're not familiar."

"Please don't tell anyone I was here?" The boy tries, setting the sword in his hands back on the rack.

Xiao shrugs. "You never saw me, I never saw you."

The boy blinks again, then hunches over and groans. "Oh Archons thanks. Lumi would kill me if she found out."

Xiao hums, twirling the pole in his hand as the boys reaches back to grab the sword again. "You want a quick spar? I came here to train anyway."

"Ah. Sure. What's your name?"

"Xiao. You?"

"Aether." The boy smiles. "Nice to meet you, Xiao."

He is beautiful in the moonlight, Xiao thinks.

---

"Are you a knight or something?" Aether lays sprawled out on the dirt floor. "Because I don't think anyone's been able to kick my ass like that ever since Sir Kaeya judo-flipped me during the middle of dinner. And that time Lumi knocked me out when we were sparring."

"Knight in training." Xiao stacks his polearm back onto the rack, then walks forward and offers a hand to the boy.

Aether huffs, then allows himself to be pulled up to his feet. "Well you're good at this. Very good at this. Ow."

"I can go run and grab some salve if you want."

"Eh it's fine. It's just sore."

Xiao narrows his eyes, then grabs Aether by the wrist and drags him out of the courtyard.

---

"Why, exactly, do you guys have so many bandages?"

"Bennett."

"Ah. He's the one who keeps injuring himself, right?"

"Honestly I'm not surprised you've heard of him." Xiao huffs, pulling out a small metal container of herbal salve, then snapping the wooden case shut. "If he's become infamous enough in the Qixing branch that we're stacking medical supplies everywhere, I wonder what kind of reputation he has over in Favonius."

Aether hums, and takes the small metal container from Xiao's hand. Xiao isn't wearing his gloves, and when his hand brushes Aethers, he flinches, something like a static shock passing between them.

"Sorry," Aether laughs airily, retracting his hand and shaking it out. "Must've been the static from the rug or something."

Xiao doesn't comment on how neither of them are barefoot, and decides that it's far too late at night (or early in the morning, depending on how you look at him) for him to be thinking this much.

---

"Well you look exhausted." Xiangling slams down two mugs of steaming liquid in front of Xiao. "Coffee?"

"Where did you even get the coffee beans?" He reaches forward and takes the mug with the lighter liquid.

"I had Chongyun ask Xingqiu to smuggle some in for me." Xiangling grins. "Messed with it, burned the kettle, and called it quits before my dad woke up and yelled at me. That and the fact that I saw you running around with Prince Aether-"

"Wait Prince Aether-" Xiao doesn't spit out his coffee, but it's a close thing.

"Yes?" Xiangling shoots Xiao a look. "Long blonde hair? Fights with a sword? Lumine's brother?"

"Prince Aether?"

"You said that already."

"Prince? Aether?"

Xiangling blinks, then reaches forward and calmly tugs the cup of coffee out of Xiao's hands. "Okaayyy that's enough caffeine for you I think."

Xiao's head is still whirling.

---

Hu Tao approaches him with a shit-eating grin, and Xiao's first instinct is to throw his polearm at her.

He doesn't. Hu Tao may be a rat but he doesn't want her dead.

"Shut up." He settles on growling instead.

"I didn't even say anything." Hu Tao laughs.

"You're thinking too loud."

She only cackles even louder. 

Chongyun comes up from behind the young girl. "Is he your soulmate though?"

Xiao freezes. "'scuse me but what the fuck?"

"Is Aether your soulmate?" Chongyun repeats. "I think that's mostly what Hu Tao is laughing at right now."

Xiao stares at Chongyun.

---

"You're royalty?"

Aether jumps as Xiao slams the library doors open.

"You didn't know? I thought you knew?"

"I don't know- Hu Tao's the gossip I just follow orders."

"I-" Aether waves his hands around, jaw opening and closing, before he settles on a distressed whining noise. "You know Lumi? Lumine?"

"I know of her." Xiao corrects. "I've never actually met her and I don't know what she looks like. Amber doesn't interact with us much, save for occasionally dropping by with Barbara and cheer and patch Bennett up."

"Bloody Archons." Aether drags his hands down his face. "We are going to be in so much fucking trouble."

"Yes, apparently." Xiao throws his hands up in the air. "Hu Tao rambles. A lot. The fact that I'm-"

Aether makes another distressed noise, then drops down to curl up into a ball, screaming quietly into his arms. "Not that you dumbass. I mean the whole 'i'm not supposed to be in the east wing' and 'stop going outside past midnight' and 'please stop sparring with random strangers' orders Jean pretty much yelled at me."

"Jean doesn't yell."

"No but she does this stiff smile thing that comes pretty close. And don't even mention Lisa. The fact that we were walking into her library after hours-" He shudders. "That lady is terrifying."

Xiao blinks. "She can't be that bad."

"Clearly you haven't met her." Aether responds dryly. He uncurls, letting out a tired sigh as he does so. "Also-" He shoots upright. "What's your soulmark?"

Xiao pauses at that. "Why do you ask?"

Aether raises an eyebrow. "Should you be asking me that? Prince Aether of Teyvat-" He bursts out laughing when he sees Xiao pale. "I'm just joking- Lumine and I have a bet going on. And I'd really like to not lose out on my thousand mora."

Xiao raises an eyebrow at that, then sighs. "Fine. But not here." He reaches down to pull Aether off of the floor. 

---

He traces his fingers over the flowers that run along Xiao's back. That same shocking feeling passes between their skin, and Xiao hope it isn't what he thinks it is.

"They're pretty." Aether murmurs. "They do look a lot like Amber's flowers."

"Why, exactly, do you know what Ambers soulmark looks like?"

Aether shudders at that, visibly turning green. "Please. Do not remind me."

Xiao huffs lightly. "You brought it up."

Aether playfully punches Xiao in the shoulder. "Shush." He scooches further back to let Xiao pull his shirt back over his head.

"I have this." Aether rolls up his sleeve. A magnificent green bird twines up along his forearm, and disappears under his sleeve up by his shoulder.

Xiao brushes his hand over the bird.

"I-" Aether averts his gaze. "Think we might be soulmates, by the way."

---

Chongyun takes one look at Xiao, then sighs, and slaps a bag of coins into Hu Tao's open hand. Hu Tao only starts cackling.

Xiao flips the two of them off.

---

He's probably being very stupid, but Xiao avoids Aether for the remaining of the week.

Surprisingly, it is Chongyun who walks over to knock some sense into him.

"Your moping." The cryo user leans against the wall. "Like more so than usual." 

Xiao grunts, the slots the book he'd been holding back onto the shelf. He pushes himself up to his feet. "What do you want."

"Hu Tao asked me to tell you that you need to, and I quote, 'fucking talk to his sort-of boyfriend and stop being so emotionally constipated and actually becomes boyfriends with him I can't watch this for another goddamn month.'"

Xiao glares at him. Chongyun only shrugs. 

---

He ends up in the courtyard at midnight anyway.

"So," Aether shuffles awkwardly, fidgeting with the grip of his sword. "um. Sorry about last time. If your uncomfortable with it-"

Xiao cuts him off, sighing heavily, and leans forward to rest his forehead on Aether's shoulder.

"No, no. It's alright. I. Just panicked, is all."

Aether remains silent at that, but raises his arms to wrap Xiao in a hug. "Want to talk about it?"

"...sure."

---

He tells the story of a boy, lost, and wandering the darkened corners of the world. He tells of how that boy fell under the control of someone untrustworthy, someone dangerous, and how he murdered all those he called friends. How he was designed to be a tool, a weapon, then, years later, rescued by a god in gold.

The boy was brought to a castle, and told he was to be a knight. A tool, he had thought at the time, having been nothing else before.

The god in gold told him of a great king and queen, and he told the boy of their tale. How by the end of the war, only two children remained, and should the boy ever meet them, to treat them like he treated everyone else, for being put on a pedestal was not something anyone would ever want.

The boy hadn't understood it at the time.

'Be free.' He had said. 'Find someone who will understand you. Protect those you care for, and never forget that you are treasured.'

'You'll stay, right?' the boy had asked, naive, like the child he was.

'For as long as I can.' The god had sworn.

Then the god in gold disappeared, left behind the castle with a warrior who commanded the seas.

The sea took the god away, and the boy continued to wait.

He grew. He made friends, met new people, heard new stories. He saved them away for the man he called his father.

A girl and a boy who saw ghosts flocked him. A chef with a fire-breathing panda bear snuck him food. A noble with a liking for unconventional readings poked his nose in every now and then.

Yet he still never felt he belonged.

So Xiao tells Aether the stories he's heard. His regrets, the friends he'd lost, the people he couldn't save, and selfishly, he hopes that there's a place for him to call home.

---

And Aether tells the tale of a prince who wished not to rule. The prince had no memory of his mother or father. Only recollections of a caretaker dressed in black and blue, who loved flowers and watched over them always.

'You will rule one day,' he had been told. 'You must act the part, stand your ground, bow down to no enemy.' And he'd listened, because what else was a child supposed to do?

His only solace was the library run by the witch in purple, and the courtyard watched over by a knight from faraway lands. 

'I don't get it,' he tells the knight one day. 'Why do I have to do it? Why can't Lumi? She wants to.'

The knight only shrugs. 'The world is unfair like that. Maybe tell her the things you learn, and let her teach you things in return. You may find use of it one day.'

He keeps those words in mind, and time passes.

War breaks out. He watches from behind the safety of castle walls as the knights rally and the gods storm the land.

'Why do they fight?' his sister had asked. 'I don't get it.'

They watch the stars fall, the moon turn read, and the sky break the pieces.

The clouds disappear, and so do the gods.

'This is your kingdom, once you turn of age.' It is not the caretaker they had been so used to. A traitor, they had said, yet the prince still holds on to hope.

'Rule wisely. Teyvat will not survive you.'

He retreats to the library. He pours through books. He wonders why it is him, when he is not suited for the job, when he does not wish to rule.

---

Both of them are crying, when Aether finishes. Aether sniffles, reaching up to wipe tears away with the heel of his palm, and Xiao's fists tighten in his lap as he feels tears tracing their way down.

Weapons don't cry, he dimly thinks, then wonders if those tears make him human.

He stares into the neverending gold of Aether's eyes, and wonders, if this is what Zhongli had meant.

He closes his eyes. Their lips slot together, and everything feels right.

Aether is soft against him, and Xiao doesn't think he's ever felt more complete. There's a nagging voice at the back of his head, telling him that it's wrong, that it's breaking so many codes of conduct.

For the first time since he set foot in the castle, Xiao ignores that voice.

He surges forward, pushing Aether down towards the floor.

They stay there for much of the rest of the night.

---

The first thing Hu Tao does the next morning is waggle her eyebrows at Xiao.

He throws his plate at her.

(He thinks this is what belonging feels like.)