Chapter Text
Erwin waited patiently outside the studio examining a flyer that toted the multiple benefits of hot yoga. He wasn’t really taking in the information or considering signing up but he did lose in himself in the thought of a warm humid room that contrasted the chilly sidewalk on which he currently stood. Autumn was officially in full swing, the trees lining the sidewalks around the building filled with colored leaves, a few falling in response to the cold wind.
Wearing his gym shorts left his legs exposed from the knees down making the cold seem worse. But Hange had been quite clear in their email the office received four days ago:
*1672 Plum Road, building C at 3 pm. Wear workout shorts and bring a water bottle!*
Their division was not really in need of any team-building exercises (unlike Nile’s office), everyone worked well together even if they were odd, Erwin considered all his employees’ friends as well as colleges.
Much to everyone’s dismay HR had told Erwin on no-uncertain-terms that they had to find a weekly activity to do together for the next month to “further trust, communication, and collaboration in the workspace”, to his relief and mild concern Hange had promised she knew the perfect activity for them and would take care of the arrangements. A week later here he was, 2:55 early as always, staring at goat yoga poster praying that today’s activities did not include small hooved animals.
“You could always wait inside.” Erwin glanced up meeting Mike’s gaze. Erwin hummed in agreement.
“Hange made the arrangements, I’m not sure I would even know how to properly check-in,” Erwin explained, he didn’t share how awkward it would be to just stand inside, alone and in silence. Mike nodded once in understanding before glancing up and down the sidewalk. Erwin knew what, or rather who he was searching for. “Nanaba should be here soon, I think she is carpooling with Petra.” Mike blinked twice, stopped his examination of the concrete, and leaning against the studio’s front window.
“That means carpooling with Oluo and Gelgar”, Mike was right and Oluo driving with Gelgar meant…
“I’m sure they’ll get here in one piece,” They both chuckled good-naturedly, even if the thought of Gelgar pushing Oluo’s buttons while he drove did give Erwin a small hint of anxiety.
“ERRRRRWIIIIIIIN!” The scream erupted from the left as Hange rounded the corner running straight at them. They nearly collided with Erwin, as he side-stepped them. Moblit was of course not far behind but significantly more winded. “ We aren’t--- late---right?” He spoke through heavy gasps. Both of them clutched their knees and took steadying breaths.
“Moblit! Half of the groups not even here yet! We can’t be late,” Moblit finally looked up, mild annoyance clear over rosy cheeks. “Then why did you start running like that?” Hange only laughed in response.
Moblit managed to recover his breath in time for the other four members of their merry band of misfits to arrive with no car accident to speak of. Hange went into the studio and checked in with the young woman behind a desk, while Gelgar appraised Oluo’s choice in shorts. Erwin and Petra agreed that the bright neon was abrasive on the eyes.
Nanaba and Mike made small talk, Erwin thought she looked a bit tense, clutching the strap of her exercise bag a bit too tight with her arms in front of her chest. A sudden knocking against the inside of the glass pulled his attention away. He quickly tucked the observation away attributing it to Gelgar’s hectic driving. Hange’s voice muffled through the glass and she gestured for them to come inside.
Finally out of the cold and in the lobby Erwin was even happier he hadn’t come in alone, the space was small with only a handful of chairs. He would have been forced into small talk with the receptionist, a personal hell for Erwin. The woman who had sat behind the desk led the party down a short hallway and unlocked the door to a studio.
Gelgar spoke for the group, “So Hange, what is this group activity that is so secret that - what the fuck?” He was cut off when the lights flickered on revealing a large studio with polished wood floors, floor-to-ceiling mirrors across the far wall, a small set of cubbies next to a table with a stereo and nine very shiny stripper poles. Erwin’s eyebrows raised involuntarily.
“Isn’t this exciting?!,” Hange asked, voice bouncing in the room. “We are gonna learn to pole dance! It’s been on my bucket list for years!” They practically danced into the room, excitedly weaving between the poles arranged into two staggered lines of four, with the ninth pole front and center. For the instructor, Erwin guessed. Nanaba had already started walking toward the stereo, Mike close behind.
“Please remove your outdoor shoes and feel free to put your stuff in the cubbies. Your instructor should be here shortly.” The desk worker waved goodbye and turned to go back to the lobby. Once she was gone murmuring and questions broke out in the room. Erwin tried to interrupt Hange’s exploration of the poles to ask what the hell was happening while Moblit pleaded with them not to run into one face-first. In trying to ascertain the cost of the private class and her motivations for picking such a thing Erwin didn’t hear the door opening again.
“Oh hey man, sorry but this is a private class,” Gelgar was blocking Erwin’s view of the newcomer.
“Excuse me?” A gruff voice said.
“Yeah, we are just waiting for the instructor but, uh, I’m sure the nice gal upfront could help you, though you don’t seem the type for the pole.” Oluo laughed at the end but the resounding silence from the stranger made it clear that it wasn’t funny at all. The entire room went quiet when Oluo’s awkward laugh fizzled out.
“Tsk. Hange et al for 3 pm. Adult beginners pole dance,” he didn’t say it like a question. Erwin could see him now, as Gelgar had taken a nervous step back from the man’s negative aura. He was short but clearly fit. He wore black gym shorts like Erwins and a high collar exercise tank top, toned, pale arms resting on slim hips. He had a large duffle bag hanging off one shoulder and a jacket and keys hanging from a hand. He looked more dressed to play basketball or lift weights than pole dance.
“Yeah, that’s us how did you-” He walked around Oluo calmly and headed to the stereo. Erwin didn’t miss the way he set his jaw before turning to address them.
“I’m Levi and I am your pole instructor for the next few weeks, it’s nice to meet you all. If you’ll just give me a minute to get set up then we can get started,” He gestured to the center of the room. “Feel free to pick a pole --oh and go ahead and take off any jackets or socks.”
Oluo stood with his mouth open while Gelagr and Hange snickered. Petra leaned up and smacked the curly hair man across the back of the head for his lack of tact. If they were in the office Erwin would have said something to them but his eyes were still transfixed to the instructor across the room. Maybe his gaze lingered a little too long and maybe he swallowed dryly when Levi bent over to pull some stuff out of his duffle. Erwin reconnected to the present when Mike asked which pole he wanted. It was a silly question because while he had spaced out everyone had already claimed their own position in the room leaving him with a spot right up front next to a vibrating Hange and Petra.
Levi came to stand at the front of the room with a small plastic bottle and pack of sanitary wipes in his hands. He suddenly sprang up the poll in two quick motions that Erwin’s mind scrambled to follow. The small man now several feet off the ground was wiping down the poll, then rubbing whatever was in the bottle over where he cleaned. It occurred to Erwin that Levi was using both hands, neither of which helped him cling to the metal. He was entirely held up by his thighs which put the smooth lines of defined muscle on full display right at eye level with Erwin. He knew he was staring again but also knew so was everyone else.
“Hey,” They made eye contact. Erwin opened his mouth to apologize for leering when Levi threw the pack of wipes and bottle at him. “Catch.” Erwin almost didn’t. Levi came down the length of the poll as quickly as he had gone up it. After retrieving the wipes from Erwin he spoke as repeated his prep work down to the base of the poll.
“I apologize for being late, you’re my first class today and there was a very crappy Toyota parked in my space outback.” He clicked the cap on the bottle closed as giggling started at the back of the room. Levi pinched his brows together at the noise, a look Erwin studied hard.
“Shut the hell up Gelgar”, Oluo hissed. Hange and Moblit all stifled more laughter.
“Sorry, sorry, it’s just-”, more giggles, “Oluo drives a particularly shitty Toyota.” Levi looked wholely unimpressed and Erwin was mortified that he even knew these people. He made pointed eye contact with Gelgar in the mirror, raising his eyebrows slightly in warning. He must have understood the command because he swallowed a final laugh and stood up straight. “I’m sorry Levi, please continue.” What a lame first thing to say to someone, Erwin would punish Gelgar later, coffee runs for a week maybe.
“As I said before, my name is Levi, I have been teaching here for almost six years now and have been doing this for even longer. It stated on your registration form that none of you have past experience with pole dancing or any other forms of performative exercise, so we will be starting very basic.” Nanaba stiffed at his words and glanced quickly to the floor. “Even though some of you don’t seem the type of the pole, doesn’t mean I’ll take it easy on you, it is meant to be exercise.” Gelgar flushed red again at the use of his own words. Erwin smiled a little at that. “Today we are just gonna stretch, go over poll etiquette, and do some simple grips and turns. Questions?”
Hange’s hand shot up suddenly but she didn’t even wait to be called on. “Can you give us a little demo?” Levi cocked an eyebrow at her. Erwin definitely wouldn’t mind seeing that, the quick jaunt up the poll was not enough. “After we warm-up.”
They started standing; rotating arms in shoulder sockets, pulling elbows behind heads, before moving to the legs stretching side to side in a standing straddle. Erwin was actually pleasantly surprised at himself, he hadn’t stretched like this since college but his fingers still grazed low on his shins. Then Levi rotated so that his torso faced left and his toes pointed that same way, he bent over that left knee keeping both legs straight. This was harder. There was a small pinch in Erwins hips and he wanted to bend his front leg to touch the ground but couldn’t.
“Hold that position, I’m going to adjust you,” Levi announced as he lifted from the stretch. Erwin had no clue what he meant by adjust them but holding that pinching position was beginning to get irritating. He could hear some shuffling behind him, he thought he heard Petra squeak.
Another silent moment passed, then suddenly there were hands on his hips. Erwin jumped at the touch nearly falling out of position but the hands held firm keeping his weight above his knees. “Sorry-”
“If you even up your hips to ribs. Your balance will be better, should feel like this”, Levi’s grip on Erwin tightened, the pressure pushing down on the right and pulling on his left. His right hip dropped lower and the pinch vanished. Breathing became easier too.
“Relax your shoulders into it,” Levi’s waist brushed his ribs as a hand pushed along his spine, stopping between his shoulder blades. Erwin gave into the touch and dropped lower, face close to his left knee. “Good, don’t forget to breathe.” Levi walked away moving to adjust Hange in a similar fashion. Erwin breathed hard, his face was red and not just from the downward angle.
When they changed sides to bend over the right knee Erwin couldn’t decide if he should do the proper form to impress Levi or intentionally pinch his hips to get the instructor to touch him again. Levi made the decision for him, simply using vocal directions this time around, reminding Erwin about his shoulders. He could admit a small amount of disappointment. The stretching and warm-up moved to the floor and lasted another 10 minutes. Erwin knew he’d feel the half splits tomorrow morning.
Levi wasn’t kidding about the exercise. Erwin had expects some jumping jacks and maybe even some crunches, not burpees, pushups, planks, situps, and squats. The activity was fast-paced and intense with enough core work that Petra gave up on the situps to do crunches and Moblit, the last member of the front row next to Hange, looked ready to throw up. This was by far the easiest part of the class for Mike, while the rest of them sat winded on the floor Mike and Erwin came to standing. As he leaned back against his poll Erwin lifted the bottom of his shirt to wipe at the sweat that had collected on his forehead. When he released the fabric he found steely eyes watching him. Levi looked away quickly and instead turned to Hange who was pulling a long drink from her water bottle.
Levi considered her a moment before rolling his eyes and placing a hand around his poll. Erwin was watching him intently but the others joined him when Levi took a quick spin around the poll.
This was the demonstration he had promised Hange.
“First rule of pole dancing is the 2 contact-point rule. Your body must have at least 2 points of contact with the poll or the floor at any time.” He pressed his free hand above his head into the poll and lifted both his feet off the ground, holding his legs parallel to the floor. Everyone was looking now, Erwin watched as the muscles in his arms flexed to support him. He dropped down gently. “This kind of movement is all about strength and muscle control, you must be able to support your full weight on those two points, you can’t-- you fall”, his gaze snaked around the room examining his new students. “Which I’m certain you will. Try not to crack your head open on the poll or the floor. I don’t like cleaning up blood.” Based on the slight pull on the sharp man’s features, Erwin guessed that last part had been a joke, if only partly.
He hung off the poll with one hand and fell into a turn, then jumped, kicking his legs wide. He spun around the poll with his legs splayed wide and Erwin almost choked. The legs came up over the small man’s head and locked around the metal. When he lets go with his hands, Erwin’s instincts wanted to catch him certain he would fall on his head but instead, the hands dropped down so fingertips could lazily touch the floor. Levi’s lean legs looked intertwined with the silver, braided and wrapped around each other as he hung upside down. He came out of the position quickly and gracefully, another feat that spun Erwin’s brain in his skull.
“I haven’t had a class with so many men in a long time, so I should probably warn you,” Levi heaved himself on the pole again, throwing his pelvis at the metal and snapping his thighs around it once more. It looked like he was sitting in mid-air, legs straight in front of him with only a sigle hand loosely gripping the poll. All the men released a communal breath. “Protect your dick.”