Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Arizona
Present Day
I opened my eyes before the alarm clock went off.
Today is going to be a great day.
Sure, I have four critical surgeries scheduled today, out of which two of them are on newborn babies and one of them is on a mom who's twenty-two weeks pregnant. I also have one kid on life support, but I'm sure he'll make it. Or at least I hope so! Today, I'm going to save them all.
I started practicing my new specialty when my mentor quit about six years ago, because I fought for her and her tumor.
Well, against her tumor.
The surgery saved her, but it took away her eyesight with it. Anyway, I'm doing well in Fetal surgery, but Peds will always be my first love. Even though I'm the chief of Fetal surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, I still perform Pediatric surgery with the Chief of Pediatrics and my mentee, Dr. Alex Karev.
I have to say, over the years, he really has grown up from a frat boy to an honorable doctor. I like to think my work with him is done, but sometimes, he needs a little push in the right direction and I'm more than happy to provide it.
Peds will always be close to my heart, especially now.
"Mommy? Are you awake yet?" I saw my bedroom door burst open as my eight-year-old daughter ran in and started jumping on my bed.
"Sofia, sweetie. Please don't jump on the bed" I said but I too was smiling at my daughter's joy.
"But Mommy, it's my birthday!" Sofia said as she leaned in and hugged me.
I smiled and pushed her hair out of her face while I hugged her back, it was true. She turned eight today. It's been eight years since the best and worst day of my life.
Eight years ago
I am a doctor. I am one of the finest Pediatric surgeons in the country and there is nothing I can do.
My fiancé…
My girlfriend…
My life…
She's lying there helpless on the OR table and here I am sitting in the gallery, watching her.
Maybe Mark is right, I am nobody.
No one.
Suddenly, I see Addison pulling out our baby. Mark looks at me briefly before he takes off running. I run after him. Addison looked worried, why did she look worried? The baby is going to be fine. Callie is going to be fine. We are going to be fine. I have to believe that because if I don't…
No, I'm not going to think about that.
I pick up a mask and tie it before I enter the OR.
Mark is standing by the incubator beside Alex who's holding the baby.
She looks so small.
I look at her monitor and see that she has no heartbeat. She has no heartbeat. Our baby isn't breathing.
"Is she breathing?" I heard someone ask.
"Her color's bad. Stimulate and suction and get some access" Alex replied as he put a tube down her throat. She's so tiny.
I try to concentrate, but I can't stop looking at her. My eyes glance over Callie's monitor. Oh no! She's in worse shape than I thought.
Live, please live.
"We should intubate," Alex said as he looked towards me before looking at Mark.
"Okay, do it" Mark replied as he looked at me.
Robbins! Get your head in the game. This is your baby. You have to make sure she lives. If Callie… If Callie dies, I need her baby to survive. I need to make sure our baby survives. I trust Dr. Webber, Cristina and every single person in this OR that they will do everything to make sure that Callie lives. I on the other hand. I need to make sure our baby lives too.
I need to snap out of it and do something.
"Move" I said as I pushed the doctors around my baby and grabbed my stethoscope.
Callie will live.
She has to live. She has to live for me and I'm going to make sure that when she comes out of it, she has a baby to come home to.
That's when I hear the most beautiful sound ever.
I hear my baby's heart beating for the very first time.
"I have a heartbeat" I said as I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.
I looked at Mark who was looking at our baby. Even with his mask on I could tell that he was smiling, just like I was.
We have a baby. I'm a mother.
Callie's a mother and Mark's a father.
"Mom's heart is strong" I heard someone say from behind me.
Yes! Everything was going to be fine.
I turned around to look at Callie, her vitals have never looked better. She was fine. They were both going to be fine. I felt Mark's hand on my shoulder as he gently rubbed my back.
"We should get out of the OR and let them work without us hovering" Mark said.
I nodded as he and I walked towards the scrub room. Mark removed his mask as I saw him looking through the glass at Callie. I gently grabbed the sink in front of me as I felt my body give out and my tears spilling over my face. I sank down on the floor.
"Robbins?" Marked asked.
"I just need a minute," I said as I removed my mask and let it hang around my neck.
"They are both okay Arizona"
"Yeah, but they were very close to not" be okay
Mark took a deep breath before he looked at me as he threw his mask away. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry about what I said earlier" Mark starts off as he sits beside me underneath the sink.
"You care about her Mark, I know that. You are her best friend and I know you love her. But I love her too, both of them. And you have to accept that I'm going to be in the baby's life as much as you and Callie" I replied as I wiped the tears from the back of my hand.
Mark did not speak for a while. I could tell that he was felling guilty about calling me nothing. I get it, its his kid, that he has been wanting a kid for a while now, but he has to understand that it's my kid too, that that baby inside has not one but two mothers.
"I… Your name should be on her birth certificate"
"Huh?"
"You are right, you're a parent as much as we are. So, your name should be on her birth certificate as well"
I looked at Mark. He was never like this. I always saw his playboy, his womanizer side that made me wonder what Callie saw in him to sleep with him, to be his bestfriend.
She saw his heart.
I leaned in towards him and hugged him tightly as I nodded against his shoulder.
"Thank you"
Present Day
"Sofia Robbins Sloan Torres, you need to get down here or you are going to be late for school" I called out from the main door.
I checked my purse one last time to make sure I had everything I needed. Since Sofia and I live alone, I have started carrying my own keys. Usually it used to be Calliope… um, Callie. But I guess I have to do this all on my own too. I have to raise our daughter alone because she moved away to New York when Sofia was just three years old.
That was one messy divorce. But Callie chose to go to New York with her pretty Penny and decided to take our daughter away with her, without even talking to me. The things she let them say about me in court was just disgusting.
But a small part of me still…
"Mommy, look at my outfit" Sofia called from the top of the stair as she walked down in her cute pink shirt matching them with a skirt and pink shoes. Even at such a young age, this girl can dress herself.
"Oh wow, you look so pretty sweetie" I said as she reached the bottom stair. When I was her age, I used to dress just like this. Rather my outfits were more frilly and pink than hers.
"Is it here yet?" she asked as she opened the main door.
"What are you looking for?" I asked as I followed her.
"My gift, from Momma"
"Oh honey, it hasn't come yet, but I'm sure it will be here before you get back from school" I replied as I hugged her. It broke my heart to see her frowning, but I'm glad that she has a great bond with Callie.
Sofia was very young when Mark died. So, I try to tell her stories about him and show her pictures so that she doesn't forget about him.
Callie used to call a lot when Sofia was young but then later, I got busy with my new fellowship and two different time zones along with the two demanding full time jobs got in between us.
We got into a huge fight where I said some stuff and she said some stuff and since then she stopped calling me. She sends Sofia letters because Sofia doesn't have a phone yet and I know he video calls her when Mer or anyone else is watching her, Basically she calls everyone but me to check up on her daughter. Of course presents during Christmas, Halloween, birthdays and other major holidays.
But Callie has come to Seattle, but she has deliberately stayed out of my way. In fact, I haven't seen her since she left five years ago.
"Come on sweetie, go grab your backpack"
Twenty minutes later
I reached the hospital and parked my car in my usual spot. I have to say one of the only good things that might have come from losing my leg would be the handicap parking and how it's always empty and close to the hospital's entrance. But then again, would I need it if I had my leg? That's an open ended question.
I quickly head towards the locker room and change into my scrubs before I make my way to the Pediatric ward to check up on my patients.
"Dr. Robbins?" I turn around and find Alex walking towards me with a chart in this hand.
"Yes Dr. Karev?" I asked as he handed me the chart.
"I'm kind of swamped with patients and I was wondering if you could take this one out of my hands?"
"What do you mean 'take this one out of my hands' he's a patient!" I scolded him.
"Yeah yeah, it's nothing serious. He was here for the bigshot surgery but he has now developed a slight fever and a rash"
"Do we know what caused the rash?" I asked.
"No, I think it's just his anxiety but I'm not sure" Alex replied.
I gathered my hair and pulled it into a ponytail.
"His chart says that he's an amputee. Is that why you're asking me to take the case?" Honestly, I don't mind taking this case and the amputee thing doesn't bother me, well not anymore. But I don't want everyone to walk on eggshells around me, least of all Alex.
"No, it's just a boring case," Alex replied.
"Oh… kay" I said as I started walking away. Alex is a good guy but he has his moments. "Wait, you said that he was here for some bigshot surgery? You are not the one doing the bigshot surgery?" I asked.
"I might but it's not just a Peds case. He's part of this group of twelve patients who are volunteering for this experimental surgery" Alex said but I can sense something is off about him.
"Do you know who's going to be doing these surgeries?" I asked.
Alex's face fell.
"It's some person from New York"
"Then why do you seem so unsure of it?" I asked.
"Arizona, it's an Ortho experiment by some doctor from New York and it deals with amputees"
That's when it sinks in.
"Is it… um, is it Callie? Um Dr. Torres? Is she the one conducting this experiment?"
"No one knows, not even Mer" Alex replied.
I turned around to leave before Alex grabbed my arm.
"All we know that it's supposed to be some hot Ortho surgery"
"Right" I replied.
"All I'm saying is that if it was Dr. Torres, we would know. So, there's no point in freaking out before we find out" It's been a while since I was crying over Callie. But I'm stronger than I was before.
"Okay"
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Alex, our divorce was messy but I'm not going to break down because there's a slight possibility that my ex-wife is coming back to Seattle" I replied.
"Okay, alright. Can we start rounding then?" Alex asked as I pushed open the doors of the Pediatric department.