Chapter Text
These past ten weeks have been excruciatingly long for him.
When he wasn't drinking or trying a little harder to teach law his thoughts kept going to Annie, he kept thinking how much he wanted a future for them but also how he couldn't stand the thought of holding her back.
They have been texting almost everyday since she left and it was so great to hear all about her adventures and her little discoveries out of Greendale. The fact that she still considered him gave him hope, but reading her all excited about a life away from their toilet of a city left him a little hopless about her being a regular in an eventual "season 7".
"Hey, jerk, are you with me?". Britta's annoying voice wakes him. As every Saturday he is at the Vatincan, spending his time with the only friend he has left.
"Yeah of course, I must have zoned out during your passionate and very interesting speech about capitalism".
"First of all, capitalism is the cancer of this society and we all should fight it, second of all I'm pretty sure that you were thinking about a mutual friend of ours that's about to come back from a certain capital city. How do you feel about this impending comeback?" Of course Britta is trying to impose her almost therapist hands on him, that's all she is capable of doing
"I already told you once, she's young and she has a lifetime ahead of her, I can't be the one to hold her down. I let her go, I kissed her goodbye." That's maybe the first time he's so open about the situation, maybe it's the scotch.
"Listen Jeff, I know that I've never been supportive of this funny business between the two of you, but Annie's not a teenager anymore. You can't just let her go like it's only your choice, she has a say in this. I see how lost you are, but this was just an internship, as she said on our last night at Greendale we can't know about season 7: too many variables." If only he could be as optimistic as his blonde friend.
"She is destined for greatness and I'm a shitty professor in the shittiest place on Earth. It's never going to happen, she probably has already met a brilliant and age appropriate detective who isn't afraid of commitment."
"Listen Jeff, you have to stop crying over yourself, your life is not over and you haven't been cursed to spend your life in this toilet. If you want to leave you can, if you really want to be with her you can find a way to be with her. She has told you in a dozen of ways that your age doesn't concern her, she has forgiven all the humiliations you put her through. If I know Annie a little bit I'm pretty sure she doesn't want you to let her go like that. Now if you excuse me I have other clients to serve. I'll get you your bill."
It's always hard to hear the truth, it's even harder when the person you have mocked for the past three years, the person who can't even pronounce the world bagle proves to be more mature and wiser than you.
And so Jeff leaves the bar, walks to his house, that impersonal house made a little more friendly by all the stuff Annie brought with her during that Christmas party with Cornwallis. Gosh, it was so funny, so wholesome playing house with her.
He throws himself on the couch, his nightcap drink in his hand when his phone buzzes, a text message has arrived:
From Annie E.
Hey Jeff, sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you could pick me up at the airport next Friday.
He knows she is coming back, but his heart still skips a beat. He replies after two seconds, just like a little girl with a crush and no dignity, but her Disney eyes have a huge effect on him even when she's across the country. He still thinks about Britta's words, what is he going to do?
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Friday arrives soon enough. He puts on a blue shirt, one of her favourites, and he tries to calm his nerves. During the past week he has tried to avoid Britta and her annoying eyes, he has tried to organize his lesson for the upcoming semester. He knows that is not fair to his students and to his employers to spend his lessons drinking and playing games on his phone and as Frankie let him know he is under her radar, so he has to put a little more effort in that.
He is now driving to the airport, blasting some Dave Matthews tunes, thinking about that crazy adventure with the ACB, their last caper.
Ten weeks is not the longest time they have spent apart, but it's the first time she has been so far away since he realized his feelings. Those feelings he tried so hard to suppress and drown in scotch, those feelings he acted on maybe too late, dangerous for the both of them.
He parks and goes to the terminal, with a silly sign in his hands that has written on it: "Special Agent Edison", it's seemed nicer before, a movie gesture, something Abed would appreciate. God what happened to that beautiful specimen of a men that was Jeff Winger ten years ago? Greendale completely changed him, the study group completely changed him, but how easier was life when he only thought about himself. He is still absorbed in his thoughts when he sees her: she's beautiful as always, with her shiny eyes and her warm smile. If they were in a romcom, or in a sitcom as Abed often thinks, he would run to her, pick her up and make her spin around. But that's not a movie, they are not a couple and he has no idea where they stand.
"Hi Jeff, thank you so much for coming and for the sign, just like in the movies"
"Oh that's nothing. So, how did it go? Did they already offer you the position of Chief of the FBI?"
"Yes indeed, infact I'm just one of Ms. Edison's doppelganger, the real Annie had to stay in DC, she's too important for the nation". She looked at him and they started laughing, Jeff started to feel very warm on the inside, he had missed her.
They go in his car and they keep talking about their summers, about music, about Abed and how he is thriving in Los Angeles, about Troy who is planning to come back within six months, about Shirley's new life updates, but they never mention what has happened their last time in the study room or about her plans for the future. The conversation flows easily as always, they are in sync, they finish each other sentences and Jeff is so happy when he sees the proud face she makes when she realizes that he is starting to take his job more seriously. She was the one who always believed in him.
They arrive at the apartment 303, Jeff helps her with the luggage, she opens the door and here they are. Everything is quiet, Britta is at work, here cats are walking around meowing quietly. Annie looks around, wanting to make sure that Britta hasn't destroyed anything during parties with too many people or trying to feed herself or her furry babies. But everything seems fine. She sits on the couch, too tired to unpack and she invites him to sit with her.
"I'm so tired I could sleep for a whole day."
"Well, the semester doesn't start for three other weeks, so nothing is stopping you". He hopes that this remark will prompt a conversation about whether she's here to stay or not.
She looks at him and he can see her beautiful eyes filled with tears. Couldn't he keep his mouth shut for once?
"What's wrong? Do you need anything? You know those eyes are my kryptonite."
She sniffs a little, trying to put herself together: "No, I just need some time to realize that this beautiful adventure is over. You know, when I was there everything was so great and despite being the only one that didn't come from an Ivy League University I was truly acing it. I just thought that after an internship they would have opened Quantico doors to me, but apparently the FBI isn't keen on hiring people that come from a school reported for a zombie outbreak and especially they don't hire ex Adderall addicts that went to rehab. Yesterday I had to say goodbye to my dream."
He hugs her, because it's the only right thing to do: "First of all I'm very curious about this zombie outbreak, but that's not the point. If they don't want you it's only their loss Annie. I know you are made for great things, and while I may be a little biased I know for sure that even Frankie thinks the same, and that's high praise. I already told you once, the world needs more women like you: women who care about the smallest things, women who never lose hope, and especially women who don't give up. You have survived an addiction, being abandoned by your family, apparently even a zombie outbreak, you can survive this rejection too. You still have to graduate and I'm sure that an internship with the FBI will look extra good on every resume. I know that you want to mature, to have much behind you, but the beauty of being 25 is that you can go wherever you want and to have all the time in the world to chase new dreams".
He feels her arms wrapping him even closer: "That was a hell of a Winger speech, my favourite one by far. Thank you for always believing in me Jeff".
She gives him a light kiss at the corner of the mouth and then she zones out, destroyed by the strong emotions and the jetlag. Jeff stays on the couch, he doesn't want to wake her and having her head on his shoulders makes him happy, even if he'll regret this night on this tiny couch. Unfortunately he's not 25 anymore.
He wakes up in the morning with an excruciating pain on his lower back and the smell of coffee filling his nostrils. He looks on is right and he sees the empty seat. He closes his eyes to collect his thoughts. He has cuddled with Annie on her couch for the whole night, hearing her soft breaths, her light snore and it's something he could get used to. He remembers the heavy Winger speech of the night before and what prompted it. She's now back from the internship, not forever because she's not made for Greendale, but she is back for a little bit, while she figures out the next steps. Now the ball is in his hands. Is he going to rehash their conversation in the study room? Is he going to be her friend, to let her go? Is he going to be okay?
These questions are interrupted by a screaming Britta, who just came back from a wild night at the Vatican and it's now rushing to hug Annie and to hear all about her internship for the "Big Brother"- she just loved to randomly add Orwell in the mix.
"You must be really pleased about how tidy I've been, I haven't broken anything, I haven't stained anything and I only threw a tiny little part- oh hi Jeff. You two didn't lose time, good for you."
Annie lets one of her famous outraged gasps: "What?No! Absolutely not! We didn't do anything! We just fell asleep on the couch while talking. Outrageous!".
Seeing Annie being all offended by Britta's insinuations hurts Jeff a little bit, it seems like sleeping with him could be the worst thing to ever happen to her, he is not as handsome as he used to be, but he still defends himself.
"The lady is right Britta, she fell asleep on the couch and I didn't want to wake her up, plain and simple. Now excuse me, but I have to finish to review my syllabi for the next semester. Are we still up for the night out at the Vatican?". They arrange plans for a little "Welcome Back Party" and he leaves, still a little hurt by Annie's reaction.
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The evening arrives soon enough and they are all gathered at the Vatican: Frankie, Chang, the Dean, Britta, Annie and him.
They all sips their drinks, talk about what's in store for the next semester and basically interview Annie about her summer. She's gracious, answering Chang's embarrassing questions with a smile. She looks reinvigorated, chatty and shiny like always after the long flight and the shock of being home. If only he could have an ounce of her energy and will.
After a while they start migrating to different areas of the pub: Craig of course is drawn to the karaoke, performing alone after a failed attempt to convince Jeff to replicate their "Kiss from a Rose” moment, Chang is somewhere doing something shady and crazy, Britta has trapped Frankie in a passionate discussion about on of her lost causes and he is at the bar, waiting for another scotch, watching what's left of their dysfunctional magical family.
"Hey, do you want some company?" Annie asks.
"Sure, can I order something?"
"Yes, an Appletini please"
"God Annie, you are a grown woman, don't make me order that", but he knows he doesn't stand a chance against her Disney eyes.
"So, I've been thinking a lot about you speech last night and I spent the day looking for a new dream and I think that maybe I've found the perfect grad school here in Denver. The reviews are amazing and my grades plus the internship may look great on my resume. I have an interview next month"
"Well, I'm proud of you, you don't need the FBI to change the world, you were able to bring change in that toiled shaped school with an anus flag that's Greendale, you can do everything." He sees her cheeks getting more red as he speaks, maybe it's the alcohol, maybe he should slow down with the compliments.
"Gosh, it's hot in her, isn't it? I think I need some air. Care to join me?" She offers him her arm, that's his cue to say their catchphrase.
"Milady"
"Milord".
They step outside. It's a warm evening, considering it's September, there's a nice full moon and some stars are twinkling. She breaths with all her lungs, trying to calm herself. She looks magnificent under the moonlight, that's the only thing that Jeff is thinking.
"You know during this three months I've been thinking a lot about our last talk"
His heart races a bit, he knew that they had to talk, but he was hoping to live for a little bit longer under the pretence of a blissful friendship.
"And what have you been thinking about that talk?"
"I've been thinking that it was your complicated way to tell me you love me"
"Well, you know... relationships are complicated"
"Yes, but now we are older and we are not in the men's bathroom. So I want to know: do you love me? Or am I just reading into things again?"
"You are not. It's true, I love you and I have to tell you that it was you who opened the door in Borchert's Lab. I set my eyes on you and the blast of passion opened the door- he can see her eyes filled with tears, a smile forming on her face- but this doesn't change the fact that this is complicated."
"How can this be complicated when you love me and I love you?" His heart skips a best after hearing the L word coming from her mouth.
"I already told you, you are 25, you have the world at you feet and I know that I will hold you back and you'll resent me and I will lose you. I can deal with not living my life with you, not having Sebastian, but I could never deal with you not being my friend and moral compass. I've kept my distance this past year and I almost became an alcoholic."
She steps a little closer, he can feel the danger. "You are incredible. First of all who'd Sebastian?"
"That's too embarassing"
"Oh come on, you're talking with the girl who pretended to be your wife in front of an entire hotel, nothing's too embarrassing for me"
"Well he's sort of our very cute very blond kid. On our last night together I made this season 7 pitch. I came home, you were there with Sebastian and you were unhappy because I trapped you in a life you didn't want, that's why I let you go".
She wraps her arms around him, he doesn't know how to react.
"Well, let me tell you what your little fantasy got wrong: if we were married I wouldn't be a stay at home mom, I would work too and then I would come home and be very happy with you and Sebastian."
"You shouldn't settle for this, you are going places. You have to see the world, make your experiences, not being with a failure like me"
"Well this is the fact: I'd rather fail with you than win with everyone else.
You let me go and I'm grateful for that, this shows me how selfless and amazing you are, but I should have a say in this. You act like you are chained to Greendale, you act like your life is over. But it's not. I love you, I've tried not to and for quite some time I succeeded. But when I saw you last year with Britta I understood that no matter how much I tried to go on dates, how much I looked around you were the one for me. I've never cared much about our age difference, especially now that I'm older and more mature. I don't care about you being a professor in Greendale, because I know that you can do whatever you want, especially if we team up together and I truly couldn't stand the thought of being here in Greendale for the next six months and not have you by my side, especially after knowing that your love for me is capable of opening doors."
He's left speechless, with a stupid frown on his face, he is about to replicate when her lips are on his and they start to share their most passionate kiss yet, years of unsaid feelings come crashing on them. Their hands wander each other, their lips keep exploring, their hearts keep beating fast and loudly. He has dreamed about this moment for the whole summer but it's way better than he imagined.
"Are you sure that this is what you want?"
"I don't know in which language I have to speak to make you understand that I want to see how this goes. That I want you" her eyes are now burning with desire, she has that determined and formidable face on her.
"If you want to go slow we can go as slow as you want"
"We went slow for five years, just take me home Jeff"
And so they leave, trying to escape Britta's curious gaze and Frankie judgemental looks, they sprint to his car, laughing and kissing, a little scared but incredibly ready to take this first advanced step in their complicated relationship.