Chapter Text
Mac sat on the side of the road, scraping her boots against the asphalt. She should have been at home, really, but nothing could bribe her to go back there right now. Her dad was in a bad mood today. When her dad was in a bad mood, he took it out on Dylan, and then Dylan would storm off, presumably to drive around or something with his other dickhead friends. When Dylan was gone, their dad would take it out on her instead. She couldn't be bothered with sitting with her back against her door as a replacement for a lock tonight, so she had snuck out her window and biked down by the park. Luckily, it was relatively empty - it was almost dark, so no other kids were about, and thank god, no other teenagers either.
It was a cold Thursday night, and the early September air stung her cheeks a little. She huffed with annoyance. Shoving her hands inside her jacket pockets, she looked around and recalled when she'd been here the other day - her, Erin, Tiffany and KJ sometimes cycled down here after school. Most of the time, they'd sit on the equipment and talk for an hour or two, daring each other to do stupid and dangerous things that usually didn't end up with someone getting hurt. Usually. Mac still sported an impressive scar on the back of her hand, that you'd never guess came from a swingset. She smiled stupidly to herself, remembering that day; she got blood on her shirt a little, but she was never happier than spending time with her friends. They took good care of her. Tiffany pulled out the first aid kit she sensibly carries around, and patched her up. Erin, as Erin does, fussed over her worriedly, and told her off because she knew this was a bad idea and this is why she doesn't accept every dare she gets given. KJ hauled her off the ground and made sure she was alright, even if she did give her a gentle punch and call her a dork for getting in trouble. It wasn't even that bad, I mean, she didn't break a leg or something - but she couldn't explain why her friends worrying over her made her feel so comforted.
She turned over her hand and fidgeted with the bandaid, remembering how KJ had crowded her after Tiff was done, running her fingers soothingly over Mac's, and being so unfamiliarly gentle as she carefully lifted her to her feet. Mac found herself missing the feeling of KJ's arm around her. She didn't really need help getting up, but she did it anyway, and it was... safe. It was protective. KJ was good at making her feel safe and protected. Her smile fell and she chewed at her lip. Don't be weird.
She sighed again and shook her head dismissively, fishing out her cigarettes from her pocket. Between the flicks of her lighter, she heard the whirring of bike chains just down the road, coming toward her. Jesus christ, she came out here to get away from people, not run into more. Keep your head down and whoever it is will go straight past.
"Mac?"
Uh oh. She knew that voice. She jolted upright and her attention darted to the figure approaching her. Wheeling her pink bike closer, puzzled expression on her dimly lit face, was KJ. Speak of the devil, and she shall appear. I guess?
"Kaje? It's, like, 9pm, what are you doing out?"
"I could ask you the same, Ms. Private Investigator. I'm buying so much crack."
"KJ!"
"I'm just kidding! My mom wanted me to give back some VHS tapes she borrowed off her friends a couple blocks away."
Mac had forgotten KJ's neighbourhood was around here. The richer part of town was pretty close. All of her friend group lived about the same distance from this park, making it a convenient place to meet.
"After dark?" Mac chuckled.
"I don't know! They did let me take a 4am paper route. That's- that's besides the point. Why are you out here?"
Mac shrugged. That didn't satisfy KJ, and she cocked her head, still confused.
"I dunno. I just don't really wanna be home right now," she muttered, eyes darting away, focusing on picking at her fingernails instead. KJ seemed to understand that well enough. Her expression softened. She was aware of Mac's home life, and she knew not to pry.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Mac smiled softly. "Not, like, in particular."
KJ shrugged. "Alright," she said, shifting her bike and leaving it by the curb. "Can I sit with you?"
"Sure," Mac was taken a little by surprise, moving over a bit. KJ sat down next to her, and a beat of comfortable silence passed as Mac finished lighting her cigarette.
"Truth or dare?"
"Mmph?" Mac was caught off guard yet again. KJ turned to her and smiled mischievously, and all of a sudden she felt a lot more nervous.
"Truth or dare?"
"Uhh... truth?"
KJ hummed. She makes a lot of thoughtful noises, Mac's noticed. She hums, clicks, shushes, whistles, and sighs. Others might find that annoying or obnoxious, but Mac found it kinda cute. Not in a weird way.
As if on cue, KJ clicked her tongue, before coming to a conclusion.
"Who do you have a crush on?"
"You're kidding." Mac rolled her eyes playfully. "That's like, the most asked truth ever."
"Don't avoid the question!" KJ accused.
Mac decided she would take advantage of this opportunity. She took a drag of her cigarette in preparation.
"Okay, so, he's like, REALLY hot."
KJ's face seemed to fall a little, like she wasn't expecting this answer.
"Oh yeah?" She chuckled.
"Yeah, he's got like a six pack and everything. And biceps and that," she gestured wildly. She had always been good at keeping up an act.
KJ giggled, but raised an eyebrow.
"What's his name?"
"Deeth. Kinda like Keith, but with a D." Mac was really trying to hold it together now, but KJ still looked lost.
"That's a weird-ass name, no offense. Does he go to our school? What's his last name, do I know him?"
Mac was now stifling laughter. She nodded enthusiastically. "Deeth nuts," she murmured, straining to keep a straight face.
KJ looked blank for a moment. The second she processed it, she gasped and shoved Mac. "I hate you so much, oh my god!"
Mac dropped her cigarette and broke out into peals of laughter, pumping her fist in the air. "Yes! Yes! Finally! That's, like, never actually worked before!"
"I'm gonna kill you! I have never been caught by one of those before," KJ protested, not being able to stop a smile from breaking out on her expression too.
"Not anymore. You're never gonna fucking live that down," Mac cheered, punching the air obnoxiously, as KJ wildly tried to restrain her.
"You're such an idiot! Tell me the actual answer."
Mac had almost forgot she had been asked an actual truth. She calmed her laughter, but stayed leaning against KJ. KJ was comfy.
"No-one. Nobody. Not a soul."
"Really?"
"List one boy we know that you think would reach my standards."
KJ hummed thoughtfully again.
"See! No one."
"There's gotta be someone. Surely they're not all assholes."
"They are," Mac dismissed. "Why, have you got your eye on someone?"
"Hey! It's not your turn yet."
"It is now. Truth or dare?"
"Dare." KJ announced smugly.
"I dare you to tell me-"
"That's so against the rules!"
"There are no rules."
"You suck."
"You suck. Tell me."
Mac wasn't sure what answer she was hoping for; she didn't like the idea of KJ getting a boyfriend. It just didn't feel right. She shelved that feeling quickly.
"No one." KJ stuck her tongue out.
"Bo-ring."
"I gave the same answer as you!"
"No you didn't, at least mine was funny."
"Your mom's funny."
Mac threw her hands into the air. "That doesn't even make sense!"
"Your mom doesn't even make sense."
Mac scowled at her, squinting. KJ held the same goofy smile.
"Oh shit, my mom!" KJ exclaimed. "She probably thinks I've been kidnapped."
Mac giggled, but her mood dimmed remembering that KJ would have to go home. She always felt a little sad when KJ had to leave, even if she'd see her tomorrow anyway.
"Idiot." Mac propped herself back up from where she was leaning on her, feeling a rush of cold. KJ stood up, dusted off her pink jacket, and extended a hand to help Mac up. Just like the other day, she didn't really need help, but it was nice to touch KJ. Christ, okay, cancel that, that's weird.
KJ stretched. "You'd better be going home too. You can't just be out here in the cold all night. Do you think things have calmed down yet?"
Mac shrugged and put her hands in her pockets. "I dunno. Probably. I'm sneaky anyway."
"I know you are," KJ smiled softly.
Mac wanted to say something. She didn't know what. She decided to stare at her boots instead.
"Hey, c'mere."
She looked up. KJ was standing, arms open, offering a hug goodbye. Mac would never admit it, but she was physically unable to pass up a hug from that girl.
She smiled weakly, and opened her arms too, letting KJ pull her in tightly. It hit her how much taller Kaje was - she had at least a few inches on Mac. She wasn't complaining though. It let Mac comfortably bury her head into her shoulder, and wow, KJ was surprisingly warm and soft against the dropping temperatures of the evening. She noticed KJ's hand tracing idle patterns on her back, and she sighed into her curls. She didn't want to let go. This was so, so safe. For a moment, the street around them disappeared, and nothing could hurt her, as long as she stayed here, eyes shut. To Mac's disappointment, Kaje eventually loosened her grip, but didn't step back - she kept her hands steady on the shorter girl's arms. Mac felt towered over, but definitely not in a bad way.
"Be safe."
KJ ruffled her hair affectionately.
"You too, dork." Mac grumbled, smiling, and hastily fixed it.
"And, um, Kaje?"
"Mhm?"
"Thanks. For, like, hanging out with me, even though it's cold and late. I dunno. It was nice."
KJ beamed at her.
"You don't have to thank me, idiot, I like hanging out with you."
KJ punched her on the arm playfully before pulling away. Mac stuck her tongue out, but she couldn't help but feel a cold empty space where KJ was once holding her.
They both picked up their bikes and went on their ways, shouting farewells, likely disturbing residents.
The cycle home was lonely, but it gave her time to think. She already missed KJ. Why?
Mac was never big on physical contact. She never initiated it, asked for it, or ever generally enjoyed it. Most contact she received tended to be violent or annoying - getting pushed around by her dad, elbowed by her brother, subtly but deliberately shoved into by girls at school. She had come to accept that if someone wants to get that close, they're probably looking for a fight.
Her friends were different, of course - she didn't mind high-fives, or tugging on arms for attention, or leaning on each other. She didn't care, in fact, she was comforted when Erin and Tiff helped her when she got injured the other day.
KJ, unfortunately, was different still. KJ wasn't any more or less touchy with her than the other girls. For some reason, however, she felt unlike them. The ghosts of her fingertips lingered on her skin in a way that Tiffany's wouldn't; her hugs left Mac feeling colder than before she broke away in a way that Erin's didn't. She didn't miss Erin and Tiff's touches like she missed KJ's. No, she was drawn to the taller girl, embarrassingly so, especially for someone with a reputation like Mac. She flicked the second cigarette butt to the side of the road, along with those thoughts, as she reached her house. She didn't want to bring them inside.
That night, however, she couldn't take her mind off of a certain girl, and how her arms felt around her.