Chapter Text
It was a lazy autumn morning when Ranboo decided he really, really needed to do something with his life.
He had been living in an apartment for quite a while now, having moved out immediately after high school. His situation had been pretty stable for the longest time, ever since he had a roommate to split the bills with. But the roommate had abandoned him about 8 months ago to move to Florida. Something about moving in with his best friend, Ranboo didn't really remember the details. Then, thanks to the failing, shitty economy, Ranboo lost his own job because the company decided extra retail workers were not worth the hassle.
For months now, Ranboo had dwelled in his apartment, relying solely on his parent's money for food and bills. He refused to move back in with his parents, maybe out of pride, or maybe he just really, really liked having his own place. When he lost his job, he promised them he'd find another one, that he could in fact be independent. This job, he would keep for sure. This job would be enough to sustain him, even without a roommate.
But job hunting was hard.
He'd been rejected from a couple interviews, and quit one or two that had a pace way too fast for his comfort. He'd been searching for a while. He was getting desperate. His frustration manifested itself in depression. The little voice in his head would whisper mean things that Ranboo tried to remember were just his brain talking like a cringey middle schooler. 'You are being useless. Just get a job already. There's plenty of jobs. God, your room is a mess.'
That morning, it really dawned on him how messy his apartment really was, especially his bedroom. From his bed where he was curled up in a blanket, he could see the pizza boxes stacked on his desk, trash and dirty clothes in piles all over the floor. There was a mysterious dark stain on the walkway carpet that he was sure was from a coke spill. He hadn't vacuumed in... he didn't wanna know how long.
The sunlight peeked in through his blinds, making him squint at the brightness. He could already tell that today would be a low energy day for him, but it had been days since his last shower, and he was beginning to get uncomfortable in the greasiness. With an exhausted huff, he pulled himself out of bed. He considered that a victory, and it was.
After a shower and the donning of some semi-clean clothes, he hopped onto his laptop to continue the search. He ate dry cereal from the bag while he clicked through the fresh job options. Janitor. Nah. Dish washer. Sounds like a sensory nightmare, honestly. Ulta beauty advisor? If Ranboo knew anything about makeup he might have considered it. But alas, he didn't.
A notification popped up from his discord app. It was his old roommate Sapnap.
'you up for some valorant?'
Ranboo let out a bit of half-laugh half-scoff. He was still somewhat bitter that Sapnap had moved out with little to no notice, leaving Ranboo completely in the dust to pay for everything himself. But it's not like he hated the guy; they had gotten along well as roommates and stayed acquaintances after Sapnap moved out. They'd play games like this on occasion, more often now that Ranboo was spending more and more time wallowing in his depression den. He knew he was supposed to be job hunting, but the offer to game was extremely tempting.
A crackling sound broke Ranboo's focus. He turned his head toward the window to see a... a cat perching on a branch of the tree that stood directly outside of his window. He squinted in confusion. How did the cat get that far up the tree? He lived on the second floor!
Another discord notification from Sapnap. 'i gotta leave in a couple hours though'
Ranboo looked at his laptop screen, then back at the cat outside. The cat began slipping off the branch, seemingly struggling to stay up as its paws scrambled to get a grip. What the—?
Destiny was calling him to save the cat. The longer he looked at it, the more care he felt for it. It's eyes were calling for help, and it's blonde fur was dusted with pieces of bark and dirt.
Ranboo messaged back a quick 'maybe later' on discord and stumbled out of his chair, quickly donning his shoes and speed walking his way out the door. This was the fastest his body had moved in months; most days his energy was completely shot, but the need to save the cat was making it easier than ever to run down the stairs and outside.
By the time he was outside, the stray cat was already on the ground, nonchalantly stretching it's spine and curling into a comfortable nap position at the base of the tree.
"W... What? " Ranboo laughed out loud, putting his palm to his forehead in shock and amusement. He couldn't believe the thing to finally make him leave his apartment was a cat in distress, and he didn't even end up saving it. He might not have actually known how to get the cat down from the branch, but that was beside the point. Now, he was outside, feeling the calm breeze on his skin and the gentle sunlight finally falling on his face.
He sighed. He might as well go for a walk while he was out. He needed the exercise and the fresh air really, really badly.
The city was not as hectic as it usually was at this time of morning. His apartment complex was pretty close to some strip malls, close enough to bike or even walk. He lived by the neighborhood middle school and often saw kids biking down the sidewalk, either to school or the local pizza place that Ranboo always ordered delivery from. There was also the bookshop and the Starbucks, but Ranboo didn't feel like going to any of these places. He didn't want to go back inside, though, so he simply walked, going wherever the wind took him.
He kicked a rock down the sidewalk as he walked, and walked, and walked. His mind may have been a little distant, because eventually, after crossing the street many times, he found himself in a place he hadn't been before.
The structure of the neighborhood was the same as his own, so it wasn't like he walked to a different city or anything. But, despite living in this city for over a year, there was still some places in town he hadn't seen yet.
He turned around the block, coming up on a very intriguing cafe on the corner of two streets.
The cafe's sign read, ' Cuddles and Coffee'. As he looked closer, he noticed the cat shaped logo next to the words. A cat cafe! Oh that's adorable. And ironic, considering his mishap with the tree cat just minutes ago. He couldn't believe he'd never been here before!
Ranboo peered into the large windows, noticing a cat tower with a sleepy, fat cat chilling on the very top. There was also a sign on the window, one that was unusually small for what the sign had to offer.
'Hiring now! If you love coffee, cats, and pastries, you'd love working for Cuddles and Coffee! Inquire within.'
Score! Absolute score! Ranboo entered the cafe optimistically.
The inside was very sophisticated, and a lot larger than the outside made it seem. There were a handful of round tables, some couches, and a designated kitty play area further toward the back of the establishment. There was a cat tower in every corner, along with cat beds and a myriad of toys scattered across the floor. Even with the polished and sophisticated nature of the smooth tables and wooden floors, the cafe had a very comfortable and cozy atmosphere with lots of natural lighting, and somewhere between 10-15 cats walking around the place, or sleeping, or scratching at the cat tower.
There weren't any customers, and that made Ranboo feel slightly awkward, like maybe he had accidentally walked in when they were closed. But before he could leave, he noticed a friendly looking man step out from the Employees Only door, greeting Ranboo with a smile.
"Hey, welcome in!" the guy said, "Have you been here before, or would you like to know a little bit about how our cafe works? I'd love to give a tour." The man's smile emitted warmth, and he spoke with a gentleness that was almost too nice for this world.
"Uhm," Ranboo held his elbow awkwardly. "Actually, I'd like to inquire about a job."
The guy paused, as if he was shocked by Ranboo's interest in the job. A nearly uncomfortably long pause went by, before the guy said, "Oh! Alright, cool. We don't uh... get a lot of job applications!" he chuckled a bit nervously. "I'll go get those papers for you. Sit wherever you'd like! My name is Wilbur, by the way."
"I'm Ranboo," he said, shaking Wilbur's hand before Wilbur disappeared into the back room. Ranboo took a seat at one of the two-person tables, a little confused at Wilbur's sudden nervousness.
While he waited, Ranboo noticed a small cat trot up to him, seating itself near Ranboo's legs and looking up at him expectantly. He wasn't too knowledgeable about every breed of cat, but he'd describe this one as shorthaired and elegant. And brown with white splotches.
"Hey kitty," he smiled, reaching out to pet it. It ducked its head away though, dodging Ranboo's hand. But it still looked up at him with wide eyes, almost concernedly. Since when could cats look concerned?
Wilbur returned with some papers and joined Ranboo at the table. Trailing behind Wilbur was another young man, fluffy brown haired and much shorter than both him and Wilbur. He was holding two cups of coffee and set them down in front of Ranboo and Wilbur.
"Thank you, Tubbo," Wilbur smiled.
"No problem," Tubbo replied, giving a smile to Wilbur and a sheepish smile and nod to Ranboo. Tubbo was gone before Ranboo could be introduced, but the other boy seemed like he was in a hurry.
Ranboo sipped the coffee. It was delicious, even without cream and sugar. He did end up adding a little creamer from the pot on the table, though.
"So," Wilbur said, "are you ready for an interview now?"
"N-Now?" Ranboo was under the impression he'd get a call back or something, but now that he thought about it, the business seemed small enough for them to interview people immediately. And he didn't realize Wilbur was the manager. Or maybe he was the owner? "Sure, I guess!"
They proceeded with the interview. Wilbur seemed like he didn't care about Ranboo's answers, like he was content just getting any answer at all from him. By the end of it, Wilbur seemed perfectly fine with each of Ranboo's answers.
"Alright! You're hired."
"That quickly?!"
"Is that okay?" Wilbur chuckled. "If you're ready, I'd like you to start tomorrow."
"Oh," Ranboo said. It was a little fast, but he'd rather jump right into the deep end than spend another 8 months laying in bed and feeling bad for himself. "sure, I can start tomorrow!"
“Fantastic! I’ll be sure to introduce you to the others tomorrow.”
“How many other people are there?”
“Not many,” Wilbur said. “Besides you and I, there is Tommy, Niki, Jack, and Tubbo.”
“Really, that’s all?”
“Mhm. I’m sure the others are going to enjoy the extra help.”
Ranboo gave a small smile, already enjoying the idea of actually working and being on his feet. Although, the concept of having to meet that many new people at once was a little anxiety inducing.
That day, Ranboo left the Cuddles and Coffee Cafe feeling optimistic.
On his walk home, Ranboo saw the stray cat walking along the sidewalk, the same fluffy blonde one that had gotten stuck on the tree earlier that morning.
“Oh, it’s you.” Ranboo said aloud, kneeling down to pet it. It hopped forward, turning back to face Ranboo with a mischievous swish of its tail and squint of its eyes. Dang. Rejected by two cats in one day.
Ranboo’s new job was a victory like none other, and that night he treated himself to a pizza for dinner. Well, it would have been considered a treat if he didn’t already eat pizza four times a week. But regardless, it was delicious.
-
The next morning, he forced himself out of bed with a grunt. His alarm was annoyingly harsh, and he almost felt a pang of regret for ever getting a job. It had been a while since he had to wake up so early.
After a shower and some cereal for breakfast, he grabbed his bike and started toward the cafe.
Social anxiety started creeping up on him when he walked in the cafe, being immediately greeted by so many new faces who would all be his new coworkers. They’d have about an hour and a half before the shop opened, which was plenty of time for Ranboo’s anxiety to get the best of him.
“Hey, Ranboo!” Wilbur greeted from one of the round tables.
Sitting next to Wilbur was a girl with pink hair and very admirable eyeliner, who waved at Ranboo with a smile. She said, “Hi! My name is Niki, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Niki.”
A voice grumbled from across the room, “Don’t we have enough waiters around here, Wilbur?” A boy in an apron stood leaned against the wall. His blonde hair was almost fluffy enough to rival Tubbo’s.
And where is Tubbo? Ranboo wondered.
“Be nice, Tommy,” Wilbur said. “You’ve been complaining about your workload for weeks.”
“Hmmph,” Tommy walked toward Ranboo, outstretching his arm for an awkward handshake. “Nice to meet you, Ranboob.”
“Ran-what now?” another voice said.
Ranboo saw another boy emerging from the back room with a tray full of mini quiches. Ranboo’s mouth watered at the sight of an actual nutritious breakfast, something he hadn’t had in a long while.
“It’s, uh, it’s Ranboo!”
“Hey, Ranboo, I’m Jack.” the boy said, placing the tray of food at Wilbur and Niki’s table. Tommy joined the table quickly, reaching immediately for a serving.
Jack joined as well, beckoning Ranboo toward the table. “Come have a quiche, they’re fresh! I just made them.” he said.
“Oh, sure!” Ranboo sat with the others, taking a bite of the egg dish. His taste buds were immediately blessed with the flavors of pepper jack cheese and roasted tomatoes. This is delicious!
Finally, the boy Ranboo had been curious about had come out from the kitchen. It was Tubbo, holding a tray of six coffee cups, all with the cutest latte art Ranboo had ever seen. Tubbo placed each cup in front of everyone, and there was a chorus of “Thank you!” “Thanks, Tubbo!”
“No problem, guys.” Tubbo joined them, sipping his own coffee slowly.
“Tubbo, this is Ranboo, our newest stray.” Wilbur said. “You met yesterday, isn’t that right?”
“Briefly,” Ranboo said. “It’s nice to meet you, Tubbo.”
Tubbo looked up at him for only a moment with a very small smile, “You as well.” He seemed a little shy, and honestly, Ranboo could relate.
Ranboo felt almost bad drinking the coffee because of how precious the latte art was. But he did, and just like yesterday, it was amazing. He didn’t know coffee could taste this good. That was probably because he was drinking cheap instant coffee from Walmart, but oh well. From now on, he decided he would only drink Tubbo’s coffee.
The others chatted with Ranboo while they sipped coffee, explaining their roles in the cafe and what would be expected of him. He learned that Wilbur, Jack, and Tubbo were the main chefs, while Tommy and Niki were mainly on barista and waiter duty. Although, if someone was ever sick or if the cafe was particularly busy, everyone would do every role.
There was also the role of cat duty, which was basically just watching over the cats, changing litter boxes and making sure each cat and customer was comfortable around each other.
The work day was a lot calmer than Ranboo expected. He had mostly just followed Tommy and Niki around while they waited tables, learning the ropes of waiting and memorizing the menu.
If there was anything Ranboo knew about customer service, it was that he was way too good at it, and he ended up accidentally allowing asshole customers to take advantage of him. He hoped cat cafe customers were more lax than the ones he encountered at the grocery store.
During a slower part of the day, he used thirst as an excuse to wander into the kitchen where Wilbur and Jack were preparing some pastry that smelled immaculate.
“What is that?” Ranboo inquired, pointing to the oven where inside he could see the dough mounds slowly tanning.
“Ginger scones, and they’re damn delicious.” Jack said. “You should try one!”
“After your shift is over,” Wilbur reminded, making his way toward the walk-in closets.
“O-Of course!” Ranboo said as Wilbur disappeared. “So, uh, is Wilbur the owner or just the manager?”
“Just the manager,” Jack said. “But he practically owns the place. The rest of us have tried asking him about the owner, but he won’t tell us about the guy. Just kinda brushes it off, so we learned not to push.”
“Oh.” Ranboo paused. “That’s weird. That’s really weird.”
“Eh, it’s alright. It’s nothing.”
“Hmm.” Ranboo turned toward the coffee maker, contemplating making himself another cup. But then, he got a better idea. “Hey, where is Tubbo?”
“Oh, down in the basement, I think.”
Ranboo nodded, making his way toward the basement.
He was a little nervous for some reason, and he blamed it on his social anxiety, but he just really wanted a coffee made specifically by Tubbo. And maybe to get to know him more just like the rest of his coworkers, but to get to that place, he’d have to speak to him at all. Tubbo, despite his kind smile and introverted demeanor, had a confusingly intimidating aura that made Ranboo feel a little odd, a little intrigued.
Ranboo walked down the stairs into the basement and was greeted with a bit of a startling sight.
Kneeling next to the wire racks in the basement was Tubbo, who was poring over a large book, back hunched as he flipped through the pages somewhat rapidly.
W… What?
“Tubbo…?” Ranboo said, and Tubbo jumped with surprise, almost like a startled cat. Had he really not heard Ranboo walk down the stairs?
Tubbo forcefully shoved the book under the wire rack behind him and it disappeared into the clutter. “Um! Hey Ranboo! What’s up!”
???
“Uh…” Ranboo watched Tubbo awkwardly stand up, brushing dust off his apron as he awaited the other’s response. “I was just wondering if you could make me another one of those cappuccinos you made this morning? It was really good.”
“Of course,” Tubbo smiled, and he was back to his normal, non-guilty looking self.
The two of them walked back upstairs, and Ranboo enjoyed his second coffee of the day, trying not to wonder what was so suspicious about the book Tubbo had held in the basement.
The day ended slowly. Ranboo thought this job was incredibly easy. Switching between baking, waiting, and scooping cat poop was honestly not as hard as he thought it would be. He waved the others goodbye as he clocked out, grabbing his bike and preparing to cycle home.
He walked his bike a little ways, just enjoying the evening sunset for a little while. He contemplated walking the whole way back instead of biking. Before he could come to a decision, he noticed once again, the blonde cat from the tree mishap.
“Long time no see,” Ranboo said to the cat. He tried once again to pet it, but it scurried up the path, then turned back to look at him. “What is up with you?!” Ranboo said, following the cat. “Just let me pet you!”
He kneeled, making the ‘pspspsps’ noise that was supposed to attract cats. It didn’t work.
“Freakin’ strays.” Ranboo sighed. He scratched the back of his own head, “And I can’t believe I’m talking to a cat right now.”
The cat tilted it’s head, almost like it looked confused. Ranboo laughed, mimicking the action.
A sudden voice said, “He didn’t tell you, did he?”
Ranboo whipped his head around. There was no one. “Who—Who said that—?”
“Oh my god. Jesus. He actually didn’t fuckin’ tell you.”
Ranboo blinked. He slowly tilted his head down to look at the cat.
It was the cat. The cat had spoken. Specifically, the cat had spoken in Tommy’s voice.
“That’s kinda sketchy, innit?” the cat said. Ranboo pinched his own wrist, he must have been dreaming. The cat continued, “You know what, Wilbur is such a prick. Didn’t even tell you that everyone at the cafe is a cat. Didn’t tell you that we all become cats once we leave the cafe.”
“I-I’m sorry, I must be going insane right now.” Ranboo said cheerfully, insanity already present in his tone. “Either that, or you’re Tommy, who is a cat, and every person at the cafe is also secretly a shapeshifting cat person.”
“And you signed the job contract, so now you’ll be one, too.” Tommy trotted around Ranboo’s bike with cheery steps, his paws barely making a noise on the pavement.
“Wait a minute, you’re the one who got stuck in my tree yesterday!” Ranboo said. He couldn’t believe he was actually humoring this talking cat nonsense and not immediately checking himself into a hospital, but whatever.
Tommy, the… the cat, crinkled his nose with disgust. “I thought it would be easy to climb! Don’t make fun of me!”
“I-I’m not! I just…” Ranboo froze. “Wait, did you just say that I would also become one of you? I’m gonna become a shapeshifting cat? ”
“That’s right, you signed the contract when you took the job.” Tommy said. “You agreed to this. Well, you were sort of tricked, but still. Listen Ranboob, I’ve gotta head out, but you can ask the others about it at work tomorrow.” Before Ranboo could say another word, Tommy disappeared into the bushes.
Ranboo put a hand over his forehead.
What.
Like, actually, what.