Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jesse wasn't really a big fan of the raids.

Don't get him wrong, he loved seeing more of the train. Each car was always so different and unique, the possibilities far beyond anything he could have ever dreamed of back home. Sure some were dangerous, a lot were honestly, but others were just fun. Who can be mad when you're in an ice cream car with waffle cone mountains and giant singing spoons?

And it was cool, getting to let loose without having to worry about what anyone else said. The train was for them, and so they could do what they wanted with it. There weren't any real consequences, no one was getting hurt, it was fine.

At least, that's what Grace and Simon told him. They had been here way longer too. Sure, he was one of the older kids in the Apex, but compared to most he was definitely still the new guy. He’d barely been here for a month now, Lucy was nine and she'd already been around for six months.

They knew better. They knew how to stay safe here, how this whole thing worked. It was best to just keep his head down, not make any waves, and try to have some fun.

He just… didn't find the raids particularly fun was all. He didn't get the point in destroying these amazing worlds the train had supposedly made for them. He’d never really saw himself as a destructive guy, so maybe that was why he didn’t see the appeal as much as some of the others. Sure, there would always be a new car, a new world to explore, but it just…

It was fine.

"Hey Jesse, what's with the lallygagging? Don't want to miss out," Grace called, and Jesse plastered a smile on his face as he trotted to catch up with the others.

"Sorry, just thinking," he said, hoping to brush any questions aside. Grace nodded, giving him an understanding smile as they walked across the gang plank to the next car. They’d used the harpoon packs to get to the car Simon had picked out for this raid, but it was safest at this point to walk. 

"You think too much. You have got to learn to just go with your gut more, do what feels right," she insisted, and that was something he liked about Grace. She was so good at advice, and he nodded in agreement.

"Alright, eyes peeled Apex. Spread out, if you see a threat alert the rest," Simon called, up at the door now. Hands gripping the straps of his harpoon pack, Jesse took a deep breath as the large handle was twisted around and the doors flung open.

Immediately a few things became apparent. This was one of the big train cars, an entire little world stretching out before them that could not possibly fit when looking at the outside. It was also one of the less friendly looking ones. Not hostile at first glance, just… still. Very still. The world was full of rocky stones, looking across they seemed to be formed into some sort of labyrinth that spread into the distance.

Except instead of plain stones, most of the walls seemed to be made up of tall, elaborate statues.

"Stay in a group. Don't go wandering off on your own," Grace called out, before starting forward into the car. Jesse followed along, sticking with a couple of the other passengers around his age. Lewie and Bryan were nice enough, and they at least tolerated his jokes.

Heading into the maze, so far it seemed like at least there weren't a lot of nulls in this car, or any from what he could see so far. It was always a bit of a relief when they didn't have to worry about nulls.

When he didn't have to worry about them…

"Whoa," Jesse muttered quietly, walking up and running a hand over  the cold, almost pearly white stone of one of the statues. It was of some sort of horse like creature, rearing up on its hind legs. He didn’t think himself as someone who knew a lot about art, but he could definitely tell when something was pretty. The statues were so intricately carved up close, they seemed almost lifelike.

Then there was a crash, a loud clatter of shattering stones, and when Jesse turned around one of the other statues had been smashed to the ground, the remnants littering the walkway around them. Bryan was whooping, and as he watched Lewie used his harpoon pack to grab hold of another statue, pulling it from its pedestal with a sharp tug and sending it crashing to the ground as well.

The noise began to repeat, echoing around them and from the cheers that rose up along with it, it was clear that the rest of the Apex had gotten the same idea.

"What are you doing just standing there? Knock it down Jesse!" Lewie called, Bryan immediately insisting as well. Smiling, Jesse shot one of the ropes of his harpoon towards the horses head, and the force allowed it to wrap around the statue a few times before pulling taunt. These things looked like they weighed a ton, but it was surprisingly easy to yank it to the ground, jumping out of the way to not get hit with any debris.

As the beautiful stone scattered over the floor, the light on his hand grew brighter. Looking at his palm, he watched as the number shifted.

Up five, to 173. Good. That… that was good.

Bryan and Lewie started running off ahead again, and Jesse went off after them. Maybe the maze was confusing though, and maybe he ended up taking a wrong turn when no one was paying attention. He wasn't trying not to listen to Grace, it was important that they stay together after all, the train was dangerous.

He could just… be kind of an airhead sometimes. He was always getting lost during raids. It was fine. He'd be fine.

Turning another corner, he was starting to second guess that when suddenly something ran into him hard, sending him sprawling to the ground.

"Oww, jeeze, watch where you're-" he started to snap, but almost immediately the words died in his throat when he saw what was laying on the ground across from him. He’d been expecting another member of the Apex, but that wasn’t what he saw.

It was a girl, or at least, it looked like a girl. She was wearing a ripped black shirt with no sleeves and her hair was probably the shortest he'd seen from someone on the train (not a lot of places to get your hair cut here). She was rubbing her head as well, an irritated frown on her face. Her very, very shiny face. Her equally shiny metal hand was blank, no glowing green number in sight.

A null.

"I could say the same to you! You're the assholes who came in here destroying everything!" she snapped, clearly angry. Jesse climbed to his feet, and she had already gotten to hers before she even stopped shouting at him. He half expected her to run off, but instead she was looking around, her head whipping this way and that as she seemed unsure of which way to go next. She looked panicked, like she was searching for something.

"Have you seen a deer around here?" She asked, which… wasn't exactly the question Jesse had been expecting.

"Is he a statue too?" he asked, his stomach starting to twist. He didn't know these statues came to life. Or, that they were nulls. Not alive, it was- Grace and Simon said it was different.

"No, you dolt. He's a deer," the metal statue null said, looking at him like he was an idiot.

"Hey, you can't blame me for asking. Everything else in here is a statue! You're a statue!" He argued, again getting an irritated look from the null girl.

"I'm not a statue. I'm not even from this car," she insisted, starting to walk off down the path, apparently done with him since he didn’t know where her deer was. "Deer! Deer, where'd you go?" She called quietly. There was another loud crash, followed by the sound of cheering nearby. Too nearby.

Whining under his breath, Jesse hesitated for a moment before making a split second decision, and chased after the null.

"If you're not from this car you should leave, now," he said, because that was at least fair. He'd been alone, the null could have tried to hurt him if she wanted to, but she didn't. The least he could do was give her a heads up that things- that it might break bad if she stuck around much longer.

It wasn't like it was something he made a habit of. It just… happened occasionally. A lot of the nulls didn't seem interested in hurting them, so Jesse just… didn't say anything to the others. If the occasional null ran off before anyone could notice it, it wasn't like anyone got hurt.

"I'm not leaving without the deer," this null insisted though, not seeming to care at all. Another loud crash, even closer this time. Jesse whined again, speeding up to keep at the null's side.

"Listen to me, its a really bad idea to stay here. If anyone else sees you…" he trailed off. Of course she wasn't taking his (very generous, really going out on a limb to give) warning seriously, rolling her eyes.

"I can handle myself," she said, pausing at a corner. Instead of running ahead she stuck her hand out, using the reflection in it to check the next hall before turning. Which was honestly really cool.

Some cool tricks wouldn’t help her if she was caught though.

"You don't know these guys, I do. Just get out of here already," he tried, telling himself that this was it. If she didn't listen this time that was on her and he would just leave. It was bad enough that he was giving her a warning to begin with, instead of alerting the others.

The null spun towards him then, startling Jesse at her suddenness. 

"What do you even care, anyway? Aren't you a part of this group?" she asked, giving him a pointed look and waving her finger in the air. Jesse's hand went up to his mark, careful not to smudge it.

"I am, I mean- I don't care, okay? Do what you want. It's just, you didn't attack me and you could have so I thought-" he started, tripping over his words some. He quickly noticed when her eyes landed on something behind him, clearly no longer paying attention as an excited and relieved look fell over her face.

"Deer!" She shouted, running past him. Turning around, there was indeed a deer. The metal girl was smiling brightly as she scratched it behind his ear. "Don't go running off like that bud, I was worried," she said, the deer licking her face in return.

"Oh man, you really do have a deer," Jesse said, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. Walking closer, he barely managed to resist the urge to pet it. The metal null turned to him, a look on her face like she'd forgotten he was there.

"What are you still doing here?" She asked, and Jesse meant to huff at that. She should be grateful that he was trying to help her, but instead of getting annoyed his shoulders slumped slightly.

"I… I don’t know. Look, you found your deer, so now will you listen to me and get going?" he asked, and to his relief this time the null actually nodded, a more serious expression on her face as she finally seemed to take his warnings seriously. Before either her or the deer could run off through there was the sound of shouting and footsteps coming towards them.

"I'll check this way! You go that way!" a voice Jesse knew all too well shouted, and he felt his heart drop into his stomach. Running in front of the two nulls, he turned back towards them.

"Hide!" He hissed, and before his eyes the deer just… disappeared. The null girl seemed to notice just as quickly, ducking down behind it before Simon came running around the corner.

"Jesse?" The older teen asked, clearly surprised to see him and not whatever he'd been chasing. Which, Jesse could take an educated guess on that one. "What are you doing over here? Why are you alone? Grace said to stay in a group," he questioned.

"I think I went down a wrong turn. This place is so confusing," he said, smiling sheepishly. Simon nodded, his lips still pursed in a frown.

"Did you see a deer coming through here?" He asked. That was what Jesse had figured he'd been chasing, it didn't seem like there were any other nulls here otherwise.

"Like, a statue of a deer? No, I wasn’t really looking for one though? I saw a horse, is that close enough?" he said, grinning brightly and pretending not to notice Simon's sigh of irritation.

"No, it must've gone the other way," he said, giving one last look down the path before turning his attention back on Jesse. "How's your number?" He asked, grabbing his wrist and turning his hand over before Jesse even had a chance to respond.

Jesse almost let out a sigh of relief at the glowing green 173 that shined up at them. Before he could even properly be thankful it glowed bright, the number shifting once again.

Down to 162.

"What the- down? Again?" Simon snapped, letting go of his wrist.

"I don't know, I mean, it's still pretty high," Jesse tried, but he knew how weak that was, especially compared to Simon, who's number banded up his arm. Simon, who definitely knew this was not the first time his number had gone down.

"This keeps happening Jesse. You keep running off during raids and then your number goes and drops. What are you doing?" Simon growled, and this was exactly what Jesse had been afraid of. He should have just left the null on her own. She said she could handle herself, and he shouldn't even care. She wasn't real, Grace and Simon said they weren't real. Hell, he should be turning her in right now.

"Nothing! I don't know why my number keeps going down, its- let's just get back to the others, okay? There's nothing in this car, its boring," he said instead, kicking a large piece of stone on the ground towards a nearby statue. It hit square on, causing it to wobble for a long moment before falling back and shattering on the ground.

His hand lit up again, his number dancing back up to 164. Not much, but… something. 

Simon stared at his number for a moment, a suspicious glare on his face before he nodded.

"Yeah, lets go," he said, putting a hand on Jesse's shoulder and starting to lead him out of the maze.

As they turned the corner, he chanced glancing back down the corridor of statues. The deer was still invisible, but he could just see the top half of the metal girl's face peeking up over it. It was barely for half a second, their eyes only meeting for a brief moment, but he swore she looked worried.

Like she was scared for him.

But that was ridiculous. She was a null, and nulls can't really feel things. Plus, even if they could, there was no reason for her to be worried about him. Simon was his friend. He was a part of the Apex. This was where he was supposed to be, and they were safe on the train as long as they stuck together.

Glancing down at his hand, it jumped again. 168.

The numbers going up was a good thing.

So he had no idea why the sight made his stomach twist in knots.

-

This wasn't her problem.

She shouldn't care about what happens to that guy, it wasn't any of her business. She hadn't asked for his help, and he really hadn't even given her much anyway. She didn't need someone to tell her when things were getting dangerous and she should leave, she could tell that just fine on her own. Hell, these kids were nothing compared to the customers she usually had to deal with.

He had been right though, it was clear that they should head out. Now that she had found the deer, there was nothing stopping her.

That kid was a part of this group of rabid assholes. That was his choice, and she couldn't care less.

"He did cover for us though," she muttered, scratching the deer behind the ear once he became visible once again. The deer let out a breathy sigh, and she shook her head.

"No, it's too dangerous, we just need to leave," she insisted, trying to be rational about this. There wasn't anything she could do, even if she wanted to, which she didn't.

"Come on deer," she said, starting down the maze in the opposite direction from where that guy had gone. Jesse, she was pretty sure that was what the other kid called him, not that it mattered.

She didn't get very far before she realized the deer wasn't following.

"Deer, we gotta go," she huffed, but it didn't seem to be convincing the animal any. Nope, instead it turned around, starting to amble off slowly in the direction those jerks had gone.

"No, we need to leave, that kid is on his own," she argued, but of course the deer wasn't listening to her. "Look, there's nothing we could do anyway. He probably doesn't even want any help," she tried to reason. The deer stopped, and when it looked over at her it's only response was to blow air in her face.

"Uugh," she groaned, running a hand down her face before sighing heavily. "Okay, okay fine, here's what we'll do. We'll go and watch from a distance, just to make sure they haven't gone completely lord of the flies and decided to sacrifice the kid with the lowest number or something. In which case, maybe we shouldn’t let anyone get killed, but otherwise we’re leaving," she relented.

Honestly, it didn't seem like the deer was paying that much attention. This time when she started walking, in the direction the boy had gone this time though, he followed along.

They were quiet as they made their way through the statue maze, keeping low and being careful not to run into any of those rabid brats. She’d managed to mostly avoid them, other than that Jesse guy, but the initial run trying to stay hidden had been what caused her and the deer to get separated in the first place, which she did not want a repeat of.

When they reached the last winding wall of the maze, they stopped. Instead of heading out, because she wasn’t dumb enough to just walk out into the open, she started climbing up the back of one of the statues. It was of a colossal man wearing ornate armor, and she peaked up over his shoulder, trying to get a better view. Besides her, the deer had turned into some sort of strange, vaguely deer shaped amorphous blob that seemed to sucker itself onto the back of the statue.

That group of kids weren’t too far out of the maze. It was still too far for her to hear what they were saying, but close enough that she could pretty easily pick out the on they’d run into before, the one that didn’t seem like a complete destructive jerk. Still probably pretty stupid if he fell into this group, but that wasn’t any of her business.

He was standing near the edge of the group, and it was only because she was trying to pay attention to him that she could see how much more subdued he seemed from the rest of the group. While the rest of them looked like they would be raring to go for a second round and burn this whole car to the ground if they got the chance, he was just sort of… standing there. Shoulders slumped, hands in his pockets, definitely not happy.

And still not her problem. If he was so unhappy, then he could just leave.

She didn’t expect him to look back, especially as the rest of the group had started heading back towards the door. There was a moment where she could see him scanning the horizon, and she could have ducked back down behind the statue.

She didn’t.

He clearly saw her, doing a poor attempt at hiding his surprise. Now she ducked back down, moving to look out between the arm of the statue and the body instead, where she was better hidden. As she watched him look quickly back and forth between her hiding place and his group, she wasn’t sure what she expected him to do.

But it certainly wasn’t for him to break off from his group and start heading back towards the maze. She could see him call out something to the rest of the group before sprinting back, but again she was too far away to hear what it was. She didn’t bother staying up there to watch, sliding down the back of the statue.

It didn’t take long for him to show up, looking back over his shoulder in clear worry of being followed.

“What are you still doing here?” he hissed once he was close enough, like that was any of his business.

“I could ask you the same thing,” she said, and he scoffed and sputtered at that.

“That’s- you can’t just say that every time I ask you something!” he huffed, and she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not, I’m just saying, from what I could see you and your gaggle of jerks were leaving. I didn’t ask you to come back,” she said, and immediately she saw his resolve falter, like he hadn’t even thought about his actions until now.

“That’s- I just… why were you watching me?” he asked, and she crossed her arms at the question. She had been watching him sure, but he didn’t need to point it out.

“I didn’t want to, but the deer was worried about you or something. I don’t know,” she explained, and that was pretty much the truth. The deer hadn’t wanted to leave, so they hadn’t. It was almost funny how immediately his eyes lit up at that, looking over at the deer. It was now fully deer shaped again, standing next to her passively.

“Wait, really?” he asked, and she nodded. He was staring at the deer now, looking like he was going to pull himself out of his skin as he tried to keep his hands to himself. “Is it- can I pet him?” he asked, and she scoffed at the question.

“He’s his own deer. You can pet him if he lets you, it’s not my decision,” she said. That seemed to be enough for him, Jesse holding out a hand for the deer to sniff before starting to pet him.

“Oh man, this is so cool!” he said, a delighted smile on his face as he scritched at the side of the deer’s face. She rolled her eyes as he pet the deer, but she was quickly distracted as the slight glow on his hand grew brighter. Jesse stopped petting the deer to look at his hand, and as she watched she saw his number fall down to 163.

“Huh, just for petting a deer? That’s easy,” she said, not really caring if it sounded dismissive. Instead of looking happy, or at the very least relieved at his number going down, for some reason Jesse looked panicked, all that worry from before flooding back.

“No, not again! Okay, it’s- I’m really sorry, but you two have to go. The others are gonna get suspicious, and my number already went down once today. Simon’s never going to let me out of his sight now,” he was rambling, and that… was weird. Everything he was saying was weird, and yes, she could still leave. She should probably still leave, but now she wanted to know what was up with his weird number panic. She'd already been confused when the other guy had confronted him about it before.

“What are you talking about? Your number’s supposed to go down. Don’t you want to go home?” she asked, and she didn’t expect him to freeze so much at that last question.

“Home?” he asked, like he hadn’t even considered that before. “Of course I want to go home...”

“Well, it’s pretty easy,” she said, reaching forward and tapping the middle of his palm with her finger. He quickly closed his fist in response, but it got the point across well enough. “You just gotta get that number of yours to zero. Did you even watch that introduction video?’ she asked, somehow Jesse’s shoulders slumping even further.

“Y-yeah, but Grace and Simon said-”

“Jesse!”

She hadn’t realized just how distracted they’d both gotten, not until the voice called out as another person in that weird angry cult turned the corner. She looked older than most of them, a sharp frown on her face as she looked from Jesse to her and the deer. She wasn’t sure what she was thinking, but Jesse looked like he was close to hiding behind her at this point, he’d jolted so bad.

“When Simon said he thought you were having doubts I didn’t want to believe it, so you better have a real good explanation on what you’re doing with these nulls,” she snapped.

This really wasn’t looking good for Jesse.

And as more and more of these kids showed up behind this older teen, who she could only guess was the leader, it wasn’t looking good for her either.

“Oh no.”

“I told you to leave,” Jesse hissed, and she laughed uncomfortably at that.

"And I told you , it was the deer."

Not her best argument, but there were more important things to focus on now.

Chapter Text

This was really bad.

Jesse knew he’d been pushing these things too far, taking too many chances, and coming back to talk to the null had been his big mistake. He didn’t even know why he did it, he knew it would make the others mad. He just… had been worried about her, and hadn’t expected to see her watching him.

It was stupid, but he wanted to know why. He wanted to talk to her again.

And he really wanted to pet the deer.

“You told her to leave?” Grace asked, a disapproving tone to her voice, and Jesse realized the slip up immediately. Simon was standing next to her, and when he caught sight of the deer his eyes widened.

“You did see the deer!” he snapped, and Jesse couldn’t keep himself from flinching at that. “You lied to me! You were protecting them?” he asked, somehow sounding more angry than Jesse had ever heard him sound before. He quickly started shaking his head, even though he knew he was only digging himself even deeper here.

“No, no it’s not- it’s not like that. I was telling them to go like- like… you know, raah, go away null! No one wants you here,” he said, turning towards the metal girl and pointing a finger at her as he tried to make himself sound angry and annoyed instead of terrified. For a few seconds she just stared at him looking more confused than anything, before something seemed to click. Her eyes widened and she nodded, moving away from him and behind the deer some in mock fear.

“Ah, yes! So very threatening and scary. My deer and I are suitably intimidated and will be leaving you and your very angry friends to your wanton destruction now,” she said, maybe a little exaggerated and not all that believable. If it was any other situation Jesse probably would have laughed, he still kind of wanted to.

“Jesse!” Grace snapped, and he hadn’t even realized he’d actually started smiling until it dropped sharply from his face. “This isn’t funny.”

“I wasn’t… wasn’t trying to be funny,” he muttered, because for once he actually wasn’t. Grace didn’t seem to take any notice though, and when the null girl tried to start walking backwards away from them the rest of the apex tensed, the motion stopping her in her tracks. It wasn’t until then that Jesse realized just how quiet it was. The apex was not usually quiet. This was something big.

He’d really messed up.

Simon was still glaring at him like he’d done something unspeakable, but then Grace sighed. He watched as she let her head fall down as she blew air between her lips, and when she looked up again she didn’t seem as mad as before. No, if anything she looked disappointed. A slightly strained smile was on her face as she spoke next.

“Okay, listen Jesse, it’s okay. You’re Apex, and Apex sticks together. It’s an easy fix,” she said with a casual shrug, and even though Simon whipped his head towards their leader in surprise Jesse couldn’t help letting out a sigh of relief. There was no reason to be so afraid, he should have known better. These guys were his friends, and Grace was reasonable.

“Really?” he asked, and Grace nodded.

“Of course. Now grab the null, let’s get this over with,” she said, and the smile that had formed on Jesse’s face dropped hesitantly at that. The metal girl stiffened next to him, and he didn’t miss the way her hands had clenched into fists. Metal fists that would probably really hurt someone if she wanted them to.

“Uh, get what over with, exactly?” he asked, his stomach starting to twist right back up into knots again. He hadn't tried to grab the null yet, and he was sure that everyone noticed he wasn't immediately following orders like he should.

“These nulls were trying to trick you Jesse. They were trying to turn you against your friends, so we’re gonna wheel them,” she said, simple as anything. A part of him knew that was going to be the answer, he wasn’t dumb, but for some reason hearing her actually say that still felt like a punch to the chest.

“What?” he blurted out, not able to hide his fear now.

“You people are crazy! We weren’t doing anything!” the metal girl shouted, and Jesse nodded in agreement. (He shouldn't be agreeing with her they would realize he wasn't doing what he should they would know that he was wrong and then they would hate him too).

“Yeah, it’s- there’s no need to do something so drastic. We were already heading back to the mall anyway, right? Why don’t we just let them go and we go home and forget all about this, huh?” Jesse tried. He couldn’t help but shrink back some when Simon’s glare at him got even darker, and the understanding look that had been on Grace’s face before turned hard and cold.

“It’s not drastic. Nulls aren’t real, they can’t feel anything. If you’ve already gotten so attached that you’ve forgotten that then this is even more urgent than I thought,” she said, and Jesse sputtered at that.

“Attached? That’s- I’m not attached!” he insisted, not sure why that was the part his brain decided to latch onto.

“We were talking for like five minutes! I swear what is wrong with you people?!” the null shouted, and at least they were on the same page about this.

“Exactly! I don’t even know her name!” he tried to insist, and when Grace took a step towards them he couldn’t help taking another step back, until he was standing besides the metal girl.

“Yeah, never even bothered to ask,” she said, and Jesse frowned at that.

“Wait, what is your name?” he blurted out, not really thinking about the question. At least, not until she gave him an absolutely withering look.

“I don’t think this is really the best time,” she growled at him, and he couldn’t help but chuckle nervously at that. Looking at the group starting to make their way closer, she was definitely right. Especially when he saw Simon crouch down, pressing the button to activate his cool gravity shoes.

“C-come on guys. This isn’t- we don’t need to-” Jesse tried, his words failing him as he watched the situation spiral so far out of his control. He should have known it would backfire, ever since he first let that group of little cottonball fluff nulls go when no one was paying attention. If they weren’t real, then he figured it wouldn’t hurt to let them go either. Except it did hurt, because it wasn’t what he was supposed to do.

“Hey, it’s Jesse, right?” the null asked, the question seeming pretty out of nowhere. He nodded though, really not sure what else to do at this point.

“Yeah?”

“Well Jesse, you’ll thank me for this later,” she said, a decisive tone to her voice.

“Huh?”

Then there was a hard, metal hand around his wrist, and he nearly tripped over his own feet as he was suddenly yanked along, the null girl and the deer starting to run full sprint down the maze.

With him in tow.

“After them! They have Jesse!” he could hear Grace shouting behind them, followed by shouts and rallying cries of the rest of the Apex beginning to give chase. He managed to get his feet properly under him soon enough, not able to do anything but try to keep up as he ran.

“Where are we going?” he asked, panic clear in his voice. The null was twisting and turning through the maze, going around corners and taking shortcuts the Apex had incidentally created by knocking down so many of the statues.

“Out of here!” she insisted, turning around another corner. Jesse could still hear shouting coming from behind them, and he yelped when the null was suddenly yanking on him again, pulling him down onto the ground and between two statues. The squeeze was painful, especially considering her metal body didn’t have any more give than the statues they were hiding between.

“What are-” he started to ask, not able to get another word out before a metal hand clamped down over his mouth, the null fixing him with a sharp glare. He got the hint though, keeping his mouth shut and not saying another word. Even if it was really hard when he noticed that the deer had somehow shrunk down to the size of about a rat and was now standing on the metal girl’s shoulder.

They stayed there for about two or three minutes, long enough that the sound of stomping footsteps and shouting was at least somewhat farther in the distance. Definitely long enough for him to lose feeling in one of his legs. Peeking out, the null seemed to decide it was safe before climbing out of the crevice she’d shoved them both into, pulling him along again afterwards.

“Let’s get out of here before they come back,” she said, and Jesse stopped suddenly. The metal girl still had a hand on his wrist, and she whipped her head back around towards him, irritation and confusion clear on her face. “What are you doing?”

“I- I can’t just leave! They’re my friends,” he said, and there was more to it than that. They were the only people he knew on the train, and the train was dangerous. They knew how it worked better than he did, had been here so much longer. There was safety in numbers, both in the group and spiraling up their arms. They needed to stick together.

If he left now then they would all hate him and he couldn’t have that happen, he didn’t want anyone to hate him.

But he couldn’t say all that, so ‘they’re my friends’ was what came out instead.

“Friends? They’re trying to kill us!” the metal girl shouted, but Jesse shook his head.

“No, that’s not- they wouldn’t hurt me,” he said, and he was still trying to think of some way to fix this. Of making sure the null got away safe without everyone being mad at him. As soon as those words left his mouth though the metal girl’s face fell, suddenly setting him with a glare.

“Fine then. Get lost if that’s all you care about,” she said, letting go of his wrist and starting forward in the maze again. Jesse winced, chasing after her because no, that wasn’t what he meant.

“No, it’s not like that! I don’t want them to hurt you either, I just- oooh, I don’t know what to do,” he whined, running his hands down his face and pulling down his cheeks. “Ow!” he yelped, not expecting the null to spin around and flick him with her hard metal fingers right in the middle of his forehead.

“How bad are you at the train that you really need ‘don’t let people get murdered’ spelled out for you?” she snapped, and he wanted to argue, but anything he could have said died in his throat. It really did sound simple and obvious when said like that. Sure, Grace and Simon said that the nulls weren’t people, but what if they were wrong.

He couldn’t be sure they were right, and so it felt really dumb to take that risk.

“Oh,” he managed after a moment, and he couldn’t blame the null for rolling her eyes at him.

Before they could do anything else there was the sound of another loud crash, more shouting.

“We gotta go,” the null insisted again, and this time Jesse didn’t argue, running after her without being dragged. The maze was in ruins around them, but that made it easier to make a straight shoot. Neither of them had much of an idea where they were going, but it took a lot less time than it should have to reach the other side.

Jesse wasn’t sure if he was relieved or terrified to see the large red door at the other end of the train car, so he settled on both. The only problem was that there was open area between them and the door, but they couldn’t think about that now, making a mad dash for the door instead.

The null was twisting the large golden handle around when he heard a shout behind them.

“Jesse! Think about what you’re doing!”

Turning around, he could see Grace having climbed up one of the statues, hanging off of it and looking directly at him. She was too far away to reach him, but he could still make out how furious she looked. Or maybe he couldn’t, maybe it was his imagination, but he was sure she hated him, everyone there must have. He could hear the door opening behind him, but his feet felt planted to the ground.

He wasn’t standing there long before a hard metal hand grabbed his shoulder, yanking him towards the door with a glare.

“You’re useless,” she snapped, pushing him through and closing it behind them. He didn’t get the chance to catch his breath or even respond as she started pulling him down the gangplank towards the next train car. Not that it mattered, because even if he could have said something, could have argued against that, there wasn’t anything for him to say.

Right now, he really did feel useless.

—

She was a mix of furious and frustrated and a lot more synonyms for angry as she let go of the human boy so that she could open the door to the next car. Looking inside, she groaned, throwing her head back at the sight. It wasn’t another large, sprawling world car, which at least meant they could probably get through it fast. No, it was just a long tunnel, painted with dark blue swirling murals.

The tube was also swirling, slowly rotating around and around. It was pretty dark, the only real light small blue spotlights that also went around in a circle. There was no sight of the other door, so who knew how far the damn tunnel went. She could already feel nauseous just looking at the thing.

“Huh, cool. It's like those spinning tunnels at the fare, but giant,” Jesse said, and she rolled her eyes, starting forward hesitantly. Immediately the floor almost knocked her feet out from under her, her weight not happy with the moving floor. She could hear Jesse hesitantly get his own footing behind her, and as she started walking slowly she saw a large brown ball with the deer’s face on it rolling along beside her.

It was quiet for a long time as they made their way through the car, and normally she didn’t mind the quiet. Of course, normally it was just her and the deer, and she couldn’t even properly explain why she had decided to save this kid anyway. Or not even save, just drag him away from a bunch of assholes who wanted to murder her and keep him stuck in their weird cult.

Taking a step forward, her foot went too far one way as the floor turned, twisting her leg out from under her and sending her crashing to the ground.

“Are you okay?” the boy asked, rushing over to her as much as he could in this damn car. She felt his hand on her shoulder, trying to help her up. Before he could do anything though she swatted him away, not answering the question as she scrambled up to her feet, charging forward again as soon as she could. Her head felt like it was swirling already. She hadn’t been this motion sick since she’d been reflected in strings of metal beads.

“I- I’m sorry,” Jesse whispered after a moment, and it was hard to tell what he was actually apologizing for. For her falling or everything before that. Either way, she let out a long sigh, because she had been the one to basically drag him into this.

“It’s fine,” she said, not sure how convincing she actually sounded, and not really caring all that much either.

Walking another five, ten, fifteen minutes, and they still didn’t seem to be any closer to the exit. The only good thing was that it seemed like that group of jerks hadn’t decided to follow them into the next car, so they weren’t actively being chased anymore on top of all of this. She was trying to keep her attention on one fixed point in the distance to help with the motion sickness, but it didn’t seem to be helping.

“Hey uh, null girl?” Jesse asked, and immediately her fists clenched and she started walking a little bit faster.

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped, not bothering to look back at him.

“Sorry,” he apologized again, and at least it sounded genuine. “It’s just- you never told me your name,” he added, and as much as she wanted to she couldn’t actually argue with that. Sure, he’d asked at the worst time imaginable, but she hadn’t answered all the same.

She meant to answer now, but she’d closed her eyes for a moment, hoping that getting a few seconds without everything spinning would help with the motion sickness some. All it ended up doing was causing her to misstep once again, crashing hard to the ground.

“Ugh! Damn it!” she snapped, not bothering to stand up this time, instead sitting with her back against the side of the tube that was rolling up. If she didn’t press back too hard the tube moved past her, allowing her to sit in one place as if she was sliding down a hill or something. Jesse stood there, his feet moving so that he was walking in place to keep from falling over as well. The deer was still rolling along next to them in his ball form.

“Are- are you okay?” he asked, and she lifted her head up from where she’d had it hanging between her legs to glare at him.

“No! How are you not sick to your stomach right now?” she snapped, and he chuckled nervously at that, nearly losing his footing in the process.

“Oh no, I’m super dizzy right now. I just didn’t expect you to be,” he said, and her eyes got even more narrow at that.

“And why’s that?” she asked, her voice hopefully betraying how thin her patience was. This guy had seemed like significantly less of an asshole than the rest of his group, sure, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still an asshole. He was still calling her a null, had still hung out with those people and stood by while they killed who knows how many denizens or people like her.

(At least that was second one was probably zero. There weren’t really any other people like her out there.)

“Well, you’re made of metal, right?” he asked, and she nodded hesitantly.

“Yeah, and?”

“If you’re made of metal I figured you’d have an… iron stomach,” he said, giving a big grin and actually shooting finger guns at her. Instead of dignifying that with an answer, she quickly started yanking off her shoe. “Hey what are you- hey!” his question was interrupted as she chucked it at him. It missed his head unfortunately, hitting the tunnel behind him before falling to the ground and uselessly tumbling over itself as the tube continued to spin.

Ducking out of the way caused Jesse to lose his balance though, crashing down as well. She rolled her eyes as he struggled to get into a seated position that actually worked, eventually settling on slowly scooting back whenever he started going too far up the wall.

“You deserved that,” she said, and he smiled sheepishly at her.

“Yeah, I probably did,” he said. He was almost laying down now, and instead of saying anything he was just watching her expectantly, his eyes big and curious. She supposed she could give him something for not bombarding her with questions yet.

“Ugh, okay. You can call me MT,” she said, and he nodded simply at that. His eyes trailed off, over to the brown deer-like orb that was rolling between them.

“What about the deer?” he asked, and she shrugged.

“He doesn’t have a name,” she answered, not expecting the incredibly offended gasp from Jesse at that.

“What? Why not?” he asked.

“He didn’t ask for a name, he’s his own deer,” she said, and that did not seem to be an adequate response for Jesse in the slightest.

“But- but look at him!” he said, grabbing the large deer ball and holding it up. “We can’t just call him deer, he deserves better than that,” he insisted. MT’s first instinct was to argue, because she’d been with the deer way longer than him and they’d been doing fine, but when she opened her mouth she couldn’t actually think of anything to say against that. Eventually she just huffed, crossing her arms and setting him with a glare.

“I still don’t get why you’d even care. Your buddies back there wanted us dead, why bother with names?” she asked, because that wouldn’t stop bothering her. Jesse slumped, scooting back when the tunnel slid him too far one way. He wouldn’t meet her eyes, folding in on himself, the Deer ball still sitting in his lap.

“It wasn’t… I didn’t think it was… I don’t know. I didn’t think they’d go so far,” he muttered, not sounding like he had a very good excuse for himself. She scoffed, really not feeling it in herself to feel sorry for this guy.

“They seemed pretty upfront about how they felt about 'nulls'. I’m pretty good at knowing when people are trying to kill me, sure, but they were just obvious,” she said. Jesse actually looked over at her again then, raising an eyebrow slightly.

“Does that happen a lot?” he asked, and MT blinked at that.

“What?”

“People trying to kill you,” he clarified, and now she was the one who had to look away. She didn’t say anything, because she barely knew this guy. She certainly didn’t owe him any sort of explanation, let alone a detailed rundown of her past and where she came from. He seemed to get the point after a moment, sighing and letting it drop. “I guess it… was pretty obvious,” he muttered finally.

“Ya think?” she asked. Jesse didn’t say anything for a bit, setting the deer to the side as he let himself be pulled up along with the wall, until he eventually fell back in a sort of awkward somersault.

“They said you weren’t real,” he said finally, and MT rolled her eyes at that.

“And you believed them?” she asked, trying not to let it show just how much the notion angered her.

“I don’t know… I don’t think so,” he said, and it was strange how unsure he sounded. MT cocked her head to the side in confusion.

“How do you not know what you thought?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“It’s complicated,” he insisted, not that that ever explained anything. Still, so far he had mostly kept from prying into her life, so she supposed she could afford him the same, at least for now.

It was quiet for a bit, and they should get moving again but sitting here sliding was a lot better than trying to walk through this place and MT wanted a bit more time for the nausea to completely pass. She wasn’t sure what Jesse was thinking, and she didn’t really care.

“What about Dracula?”

“What.” It wasn’t a question, instead just a blunt statement as she turned her head back towards the human boy. His hand was gently brushing over the top of the deer, effectively petting it as it rolled along the floor.

“Dracula, for the deer,” he clarified.

“You cannot name a deer Dracula,” she insisted, having a hard time telling if he was even being serious or not. There was no way he was actually being serious about that name, right? It didn’t seem much like a joke as he pouted at her though.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s ridiculous!” she insisted, throwing her hands up in the air. In response Jesse picked up the deer orb again, holding it up in front of him as if as evidence.

“He’s a magic deer that can turn invisible and shapeshift into a ball! Tell me that’s not a little ridiculous. It’s perfect,” he argued, and MT just glared even sharper at him.

“No.”

“Fine. Something… something else then, hmm,” he hummed, clearly thinking this over carefully. “Alan?” he said after a moment. MT groaned, slumping her head back against the tube and letting it pull her up the wall some. She didn’t go far, she was too heavy for it, sliding back down again. “What’s wrong with Alan?” he questioned.

“Now it’s too normal! That’s like calling your dog Mark!” she insisted. She didn’t even know why they were having this conversation, it was stupid.

“Are you just going to hate all of my suggestions?” Jesse asked, and MT shrugged.

“Probably,” she said, not even trying to sound apologetic about that. He frowned at that, before his eyes widened, an idea obviously coming to him.

“Okay, fine. If one’s too weird and one’s too normal, then we’ll just go in the middle. Your name will be Alan Dracula!” he said, turning towards the deer at the end. MT didn’t even bother to hide the look of disgust on her face at that.

“You just took the worst of both things and pushed them together!”

“I think you mean the best of both things!” he argued, smiling brightly at the deer. “Listen, let’s try it out. Hello, have you met my deer friend, Alan Dracula? See, rolls off the tongue!” he insisted, and MT buried her face in her hands.

“I cannot believe I bothered to save you. Give me my shoe back,” she said, and she could see Jesse reaching for her boot before stopping suddenly.

“No. You’re going to try to hit me with it again,” he said, suspicion clear in his voice. MT lowered her hands enough to raise an eyebrow at him.

“I’ve got another shoe right here if I wanted to do that so bad,” she said, lifting her other leg up and showing off her remaining boot for good measure. Jesse blinked at that, before looking sheepish.

“Oh, fair point,” he said, this time reaching over and actually handing her back her shoe. She held it for a moment, making to put it back on.

Before chucking it at him again.

“Hey!” he shouted, and she had been sure to intentionally miss that time, breaking out into laughter at the look of absolute betrayal on his face. “Nevermind! The Apex was right all along! Nulls can’t be trusted,” he whined, clearly pouting more than anything.

“Don’t be a baby,” she said, and he was still frowning stubbornly at her. She rolled her eyes, before figuring that she could at least give him something. “Look, we’ll go with Alan Dracula if it gets you to stop complaining, happy?” she said, and almost instantly a smile was back on his face.

“Yes!” he cheered. It was stupid, but MT actually found herself smiling as well.

It was only then that she realized that the tube had stopped spinning.

“Wait- when did it stop?” she asked, and Jesse looked over at her confused.

“When did what stop?”

“The twisting!” she said, scrambling to her feet and yep, the floor was solid beneath her. Jesse clearly hadn’t noticed it until then, quickly pulling himself up as well.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said, looking just as confused as she was.

“Let’s go before it starts again,” she said, Jesse nodding in agreement. Not wasting another moment she started running off down the tunnel, hearing Jesse follow after her.

“Come on Alan Dracula!” he called, and she rolled her eyes at the name.

The deer followed along though, so maybe it was something.

Chapter Text

They got out of the twisting tunnel car pretty easily after that, able to simply walk the rest of the way to the exit. Jesse was a little surprised that the Apex hadn’t chased after them into the next car, but a part of it made sense. You never knew what kind of danger was going to be in the next car, and the group had been pretty scattered trying to find them in the maze.

And maybe in the end they just didn’t care enough. If he was going to betray them, why would they bother trying to get him back? He couldn’t tell if he was relieved or hurt by the idea, it was just… something.

Walking along the gangplank towards the next car, he couldn’t help but glance down at his hand again. He hadn’t said anything about it yet, but ever since they had left that statue car, since he’d left the Apex, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. His number tended to dance, going back and forth, up and down in little jumps here and there. In the end steadily raising, slowly, much more slowly than the rest of the Apex would have liked, but surely all the same.

What had just happened though, it must’ve been big as far as the number was concerned. He’d never seen it drop so readily like that before. It had been hovering between 160 and 170 for a while now, not quite able to pull itself too far one way or the other.

Now when he looked at his hand, it sat flat at an even 100.

Jesse only looked up again when he heard the sound of the next car door’s handle being twisted around, glancing just in time to see the doors swing open. The first thing he noticed was that it was bright, having to squint for a moment as his eyesight adjusted, and the second thing as he followed the other two inside was that it was hot.

“Ugh, desert car,” the chrome girl grumbled, and that was a pretty accurate summation of it. Jesse had seen deserts before, he grew up in Arizona, but this clearly wasn’t that kind of desert. There didn’t seem to be much here other than long stretches of sandy dunes as far as the eye could see.

“Too bad it’s not the dessert car,” he said, watching her roll her eyes before trudging forward. He quickly pulled off his jacket, tying it around his waist before chasing after her. “Hey! Wait up!” he called, barely managing to keep from falling as he slid down the sand dune. Not that his plea seemed to actually amount to anything, his new companion continuing to walk at the same pace as before. Thankfully, he managed to catch up without much issue, mostly because it seemed like she wasn't able to move very fast in this sort of terrain.

The walk was quiet, and this car was already seeming like not a very fun one. There was no telling where the exit was, all they could do was walk forward.

“Hey, uh, MT?” he asked, because that was the name she had given him. There was still something surreal about all of this.

Well, that was maybe a little stupid. He was on a never ending train full of magical pocket dimensions and filled with creatures like magic deer and metal people. Of course it was surreal.

Just, actually sticking with her. Leaving the Apex. It was weird.

“What?” she asked with a sigh, annoyance still clear in her voice. That was another thing that made this whole thing even stranger. She certainly didn’t seem happy about him being here. She didn’t even seem to like him. He had no idea why she had gone and dragged him along with her when it couldn’t be more obvious that she didn’t actually want him here.

“I was just wondering… what’s the plan?” he asked, because he didn’t know what they were supposed to be doing. He didn’t know if the Apex would try to come after them again, or if MT had been serious when she mentioned him actually being able to get back home. Just the thought still felt like a knife in the chest.

He really, really wanted to go home.

“We find the exit, duh,” she said, and Jesse shook his head, sliding after her down another dune. When he looked over at Alan Dracula, the deer’s hooves had turned into these large paddles that almost looked like snow shoes, it walking effortlessly on the sand.

“No, I mean like… after that. Is it- can I really go home?” he asked, looking down and digging the toe of his shoe into the sand some. His eyes had started to sting as he asked the question, but he told himself that was just the sand and bright sun, or something. Probably.

“Of course you can,” MT said, like the question was ridiculous. “I told you, it’s just a matter of getting your number to zero. It isn’t- there isn’t some big conspiracy! The conductor? Yeah, I’ve met the guy, he’s not some evil mastermind. He’s just a silly, little, robot! I don’t know what those ‘friends’ of yours were on, but it’s not how… the train… uh,”

Jesse still wasn’t looking at MT, but he could guess that she had finally turned around to look at him. It felt stupid, it was stupid, and they were- this was a desert. No signs of water, so he shouldn’t be crying right now.

“Hey uh, you okay?” she asked hesitantly, sounding extremely out of her depths. Jesse nodded, trying to wipe away the tears and not quite managing it before more came flowing out. MT sighed, and it was hard to tell if the annoyance there was genuine or not. “Let’s get out of the sun,” she muttered. Jesse nodded not quite able to get himself to form words yet, and following the metal girl it wasn’t too far to one of the larger sand dunes. It was so tall that leaning up against one side allowed them to actually sit in the shade for a bit.

Sitting down, he grabbed his jacket and wiped at his face again. It still took a few more minutes, but eventually he managed to calm himself enough to stop the waterworks.

“You good now?” MT asked after another minute, and Jesse nodded. She didn’t look convinced, and well, she probably deserved some sort of explanation. So, sighing heavily, he held out his hand, showing his number. “Oh hey, that’s way better than before! See, we’ll get you home in no time,” she said, and Jesse was kind of surprised that she seemed to genuinely trying to be supportive. That wasn’t the problem though.

“Thirty-one,” he said quietly, getting a confused look from MT in response.

“Huh?”

“Thirty-one. That was my number when I got on the train,” he said, and he could see the realization starting to happen for the chrome girl now, her eyes glancing down once again at the 100 staring up at them from his palm.

“Oh,” she said softly. Jesse nodded, a sharp, bitter laugh escaping him as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I- I could have been home already! I’ve been here for over a month, I don’t- maybe even longer. It’s so hard to tell time here, and Grace and Simon, they both- they’ve been here for years. I would have been trapped here forever, I would have been… I…” he said, his voice breaking slightly as tears threatened to start filling his eyes once again. When he looked back over at MT, she looked awkward again, and he couldn’t blame her for that.

“Okay, I’ll admit, that could have ended really bad for you. But it didn’t. Yeah, maybe it’ll take a bit longer to get you off the train than it would have before, but it can’t be that hard. You’re already lower than Tu- uh, than someone else I knew was, when she first got on. You’ll get home,” MT assured him, and there was a part of Jesse that couldn’t help being curious about that pause. He guessed it made sense that the nulls on the train helped multiple passengers, probably made sense that they didn't want to talk about them much after they left either.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, because she was right. He still had a chance to go home, he was already way better off than he’d been before.

“Uh, no problem?” MT said, sounding unsure. Taking a deep breath, Jesse rubbed at his eyes one more time before pushing himself up.

“So, finding the exit then?” he asked, plastering a smile on his face as he held a hand out to help her up. There was a moment where she simply stared at him, surprise clear on her face before smiling slightly.

“Yeah, exit,” she said, reaching out and grabbing his hand, starting to pull herself up.

“Youch!” he shouted, immediately yanking his hand away and sending MT falling back into the sand. Jesse stuck his fingers in his mouth as sand blew up around them from the chrome girl crashing into it.

“What was that?” she snapped.

“Hot! You’re really really hot!” he explained, tempted to lick the palm of his hand since he couldn’t fit that part in his mouth. MT smacked herself on the forehead, groaning in realization.

“Shit, right, sorry! Metal,” she said, scrambling up from the sand on her own. Jesse shook his hand out, the pain starting to subside some.

“Felt like grabbing a seatbelt buckle in the middle of summer. Let’s just try to get out of this car, maybe we can find an ice car next?” he suggested.

“I have a feeling we’d run into a similar problem there,” she said, and Jesse chuckled at that.

“Fair enough,” he said.

They didn’t actually end up walking for too long, the car too hot and the sand too rough to really make a lot of headway without having to take a lot of breaks. Even Alan Dracula seemed to be getting pretty tired. Luckily, the sun also didn’t stay up for very long either, sinking down beyond the horizon much faster than it would have in the real world.

Almost as fast Jesse had his jacket back on again, shivering in on himself as all the heat seemed to seep out of the world around them, leaving the place suddenly freezing.

“Oh yep, just like a real desert,” he muttered, and sure it was maybe a little exaggerated but not too far off if he was being honest. He kept trying to rub his arms together but ended up hissing as it irritated the burn on his hand.

“You’ve been to a real desert?” MT asked, and Jesse nodded. They’d started walking again after the sun had gone down, since they figured it’d be cooler. He hadn’t quite expected this much cooler, but still. It was better than the heat.

“I’m from Arizona,” he said, his smile faltering some as he quickly started to explain. “It’s like, this place back in the real world, there’s desert, not exactly where I am and not like this but-”

“I know what Arizona is, dummy,” MT cut him off, rolling her eyes and sounding amused.

“Really?” he asked, unable to hide his surprise. “I uh, I know I haven’t talked to a lot of you train people, but the ones I have talked to didn’t know much of anything about the real world,” he added, watching as MT seemed to freeze up some at that.

“Yeah well, like you said. You haven’t talked to a lot of us,” she said after a moment. It didn’t feel like a real answer, but Jesse couldn’t argue with it either. They kept walking in silence for a bit, and the trek up any dunes was long and arduous, especially since MT kept sinking down into the sand because she was so heavy.

They’d been going for hours, until finally the sun started rising again. MT groaned loudly and Jesse collapsed down into the sand.

“How are we supposed to find the exit! There’s nothing here!” MT shouted, kicking at the sand.

“Hey!” Jesse snapped as some of it flung in his direction, not that she seemed to notice, or care for that matter. “Look, it’s- okay, we just need a plan. Here, we’ll sleep when it’s light out and hot, and move during the night, alright? The exit has to be here somewhere, we’ll find it eventually,” he tried. MT still looked annoyed, but after a moment she sat down as well.

“What is that some desert living skill you picked up in Arizona?” she asked, and Jesse could feel his face darken some as he shook his head.

“No, it’s uh, something I saw in a cartoon once,” he muttered. He couldn’t blame her for laughing at him too much there. “Hey! It makes sense, okay?” he still tried to defend himself.

“Yeah, we’ll just get out of this desert hell car using tips you picked up from Dora the explorer,” she mocked.

“It wasn’t Dora!” he argued, huffing and turning away from her. “Look, I’m going to get some sleep,” he said, still hearing MT snickering behind him. She didn’t say anything else though, so he supposed that would have to be good enough for now.

They had laid down in the shade of another sand dune, but it was still starting to get real hot the higher in the sky the sun got. Before Jesse could start complaining though there was a small ‘pop’ noise, and suddenly a breeze was blowing over him. Opening his eyes, Alan Dracula was laying there, his head having turned into a large fan.

“Oh. Thanks buddy,” he said, smiling. The deer didn’t say anything, as far as he could tell it wasn’t one of the train creatures that talked, but the action said enough.

The whole situation was still pretty damn uncomfortable, but eventually Jesse managed to get some sleep.

——

MT wasn’t sure what she was expecting from traveling with Jesse, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t what she was getting.

It was pretty annoying, that much she expected. It wasn’t as annoying as she might have thought though, and Jesse was… well he wasn’t the worst. She wouldn’t have bothered with him if he was, so she guessed that made sense too.

She definitely wasn’t a fan of the last two cars though. The one saving grace was that neither of them had any reflective surfaces, so she didn’t have to worry about that, at least for the time being. She wasn’t about to let her guard down, she wasn’t ever safe, but still, it was something. It at least gave her some time to try and adjust before having to deal with any of that.

Maybe if she was real lucky, she wouldn’t have to mention any of it to Jesse at all. He thought she as a normal denizen, so as long as she wasn't caught she wouldn't have to mention anything about reflections or flecks or slivers or anything. Plus, his number had dropped by like sixty, just by leaving the Apex. Surely it wouldn’t take that much longer to get his number down to zero and off the train. She had to be extra careful until then to make sure she didn’t get reflected in anything was all. It could work.

Sure, she could also just not bother with helping him at all. She had already got him out of that weird cult, it was way more than she had any obligation to do. At the very least, they were certainly even for him covering for her.

Alan Dracula (she could not believe she let him go with that name) seemed to care about him though. She doubted the deer would let her abandon him, and even she could admit that felt like kind of a shitty thing to do.

So, they could manage. It probably wouldn’t take anywhere near as long as it took Tulip, especially since they knew what they were doing now. Plus, his number had been super low when he got on the train. They could work through it fast. Maybe a couple weeks at most. She could keep a low profile until then, it would be fine.

At least, if they could ever get out of this damn desert.

“Maybe… maybe it’s some sort of puzzle? Or something we have to do to get the door to appear?” Jesse said, and it was night in the car again so they had started walking some more. MT rolled her eyes heavily at the suggestion, huffing in annoyance.

“Of course there is, there’s always some sort of bullshit puzzle or lock or song and dance you have to do to get through the stupid cars on this stupid train,” she complained. She didn’t expect Jesse to perk up at that.

“Song and dance? Like, literally?” he asked, and he actually sounded excited.

“Yeah? Sometimes,” she said with a shrug, and when it looked like Jesse was debating on actually trying it quickly continued. “I really doubt that’s the answer to the damn endless desert car though.”

“Oh, yeah I guess that wouldn’t make a lot of sense,” he muttered, definitely some disappointment there. “What do you think the answer is, then?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said, kicking at the sand some more. “What do you do in deserts? Maybe we need to find some water? An oasis? Or uh, start digging?”

“MT?”

“Yeah, digging might work. The door probably got buried in one of these dunes.”

“Actually, MT I think-”

“Stop talking and help me start digging,” she cut him off, kicking at the side of the closest dune much more deliberately, with more force and sending a spray of sand out from her.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jesse said, and she rolled her eyes.

“Well, do you have a better one?” she asked, not expecting it when he nodded.

“Yeah, actually. That’s what I’ve been trying to say,” he said, sounding more than a little irritated. Which, might have been a little bit fair, but she wasn’t going to say that until she actually heard his plan. Putting her hands on her hips she turned back towards him, a skeptical look on her face.

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“We could follow those,” he said, pointing up towards the sky. Following his gaze, for a moment she only saw the night sky full of stars. As she watched, slowly some of the stars started to grow brighter, the low pulses forming the shape of arrows.

“…Huh.”

“Told ya,” Jesse said, sounding pretty smug. It was annoying, but at least he wasn’t crying anymore like before. She wasn’t good with that. It had been a little weird how fast he seemed to bounce back from breaking down like that, but she wasn’t going to question it. Even still MT rolled her eyes, crossing her arms as she started off in the direction the arrows were pointing.

“Whatever! I would’ve noticed the arrows eventually,” she huffed.

“Yeah, after trying to dig up the whole desert,” Jesse said, following after her. Alan Dracula must’ve gotten tired of walking through the sand, even with the weird paddle feet he’d given himself, because he was now a large deer-shaped balloon. MT grabbed the string that was coming off of one antler to pull him along after her.

“Don’t make me burn you again,” she grumbled, getting an offended gasp from Jesse.

“That was an accident! And it’s night now anyway, you can’t burn me,” he said, sounding especially proud of that deduction. MT decided to let him have this victory, mostly because she wanted to focus on getting out of the car and he had found the best way to hopefully do that.

“Hey, did that dune just move?” Jesse asked after they’d been walking for at least an hour. MT frowned, looking off in the direction he was pointing and not seeing anything.

“It was probably a mirage, this is a desert, right?” she said, glancing up at the arrows again to make sure they were going in the right direction. Every so often she would change the hand that was holding Alan Dracula’s string, but otherwise the walk had been pretty easy so far.

“Aren’t those usually caused by the heat? It’s really cold in here now,” Jesse said. MT shrugged, not really having an idea how any of that actually worked.

“I don’t know! I’m not from the desert,” she said, and she probably wasn’t doing the best at being a guide or whatever. Not that she cared, but she would like to get his number down fast so that she wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore.

“Where are you from? You said it wasn’t that statue car, right?” he asked, and MT tried not to bristle too badly at the question. It was innocent enough, even if she didn’t particularly want or need to tell this guy anything.

“Why does that matter?” she asked, and Jesse shrugged.

“I don’t know, I’m just trying to make conversation,” he said, which was about what MT expected. She didn’t think he actually cared about the answer, he was just bored. “Okay! I know I saw something move that time,” Jesse said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Where?” she asked, and he pointed off in the distance. MT paused in her walking, squinting off in the direction to try and see if she could spot what he was talking about. After about thirty seconds or so, she saw it.

One of the dunes off in the distance seemed to rise up, drifting a bit before falling back down again.

“Maaaybe we should move it a bit faster,” she said, Jesse thankfully nodding and following along as she started picking up the pace as much as she could while being made of metal and trying to move through sand.

Now that they were watching for it, the shifting in the distance became more and more noticeable. It did not seem to be a single thing, or going in a specific line. It definitely wasn’t matching up to the arrows hopefully leading them towards the exit. They were just random lumps that jumped across the desert. There was no motion to make it seem like they were getting closer to them, instead it seemed that they could start up at any random place.

So of course after some time, just enough that MT was starting to get tired, she began to feel something shifting under her feet.

“Oh no,” she said, tightening her grip on the string holding Alan Dracula. “We gotta move!” she shouted, glancing up at the arrows before starting to run.

She didn’t manage to get far. Watching them off in the distance, she hadn’t realized how fast these strange lumps moved. She’d barely climbed halfway up the current dune when suddenly the sand was rising up around her. She tried to run, but as it shifted she was much too heavy to stay on top. “No, no, no!” she shouted, accidentally letting go of Alan Dracula as she tried to get some sort of handhold, the sand already covering her up to her knees and rapidly growing.

“MT!”

She had forgotten Jesse was there until she heard him shout for her, suddenly feeling a hand on her wrist. He tried to pull her free, and without thinking twice she tried to grab onto him for leverage. She was surprised when it actually worked, managing to pull one of her legs free from the sand.

Immediately she was knocked off balance, the sand wave having apparently reached its height and starting to rapidly shrink back down again.

Yelping, she still had a hand on Jesse's shoulder as she fell. Her other foot managed to come free in the chaos, both of them tumbling down the side of the dune.

“Ugh,” MT groaned, and as she lied there it seemed like the world started to settle down again. There was a pressure on top of her though, and when she opened her eyes she saw Jesse was laying on top of her, rubbing his head and looking a little dazed. Not thinking twice MT roughly shoved him off of her and sat up.

“Hey!” he snapped, and Alan Dracula was hovering above them both. It was hard to tell if he was worried or just getting blown around by the wind some. “I just saved you! A thank you would be appreciated,” he huffed.

“I didn’t ask you to save me!” she argued.

“That’s-” Jesse started, a completely incredulous look on his face, and maybe she even deserved that a little. He had just saved her, and she hadn’t asked him to. He didn’t have to do that. “I don’t get you!”

“What does that mean?” she asked, brushing some of the sand off of her, not that it seemed to do any good still sitting down in it.

“I don’t- why did you bother even saving me if you just hate me?” Jesse asked, sounding genuinely distraught. MT actually paused, and she hadn’t… she hadn’t realized how upset he apparently was over this.

“I don’t hate you,” she mumbled after a moment. She couldn’t even blame Jesse for scoffing and rolling his eyes at that.

“You sure act like you do,” he said, and she sighed heavily, running a hand over her short buzzed hair as she tried to figure out how to get her words in order.

“Look, it has nothing to do with you. The last time I had a friend it didn’t really work out, okay? She was nice and she helped me, but things were already too damaged between us and in the end I couldn’t hang out with her anymore,” she tried to explain without giving away any real details. She honestly would have tried to lie more, or at least use a metaphor or something, but she’d already talked to Jesse too much and wasn’t sure how well that would go over.

“You consider us friends?” Jesse asked, sounding genuinely surprised by that. MT quickly shook her head, because that was not what she expected him to take away from that.

“Oh no, I never said that,” she insisted, before sighing heavily after a moment. “I guess me and Tulip weren’t ever really friends either, if that makes you feel any better,” she added. Jesse shrugged, not looking super comforted by that.

“I guess that’s fair,” he said after a moment. Taking a deep breath, MT pushed herself back up, giving another glance at the stars to reorient them after their fall.

“Alright, let’s get out of this car already,” she said, trying to move past the moment as fast as she could, Jesse nodding and standing up as well. She could have left it at just that, but even she could admit that wasn’t the best. “And uh, thanks. For saving me,” she added. She didn’t expect Jesse to grin quite so brightly, going over and grabbing Alan Dracula’s string.

“Hey, no problem! I was just returning the favor,” he said brightly. MT actually found herself smiling at that, but she was quickly distracted by a green glow. Jesse clearly noticed as well, holding his hand up. The number shifted before settling down on 94. “Huh.”

It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

Yeah, this was a start.

Chapter Text

They managed to get out of that desert car without any more issues, even if the strange swells of sand came a little too close for comfort a few more times as far as MT was concerned. They were out and managed to get lucky with their next car, the whole thing one of those old playgrounds made out of wood and giant truck tires.

It seemed pretty empty and relatively harmless, so they took the opportunity to rest. Some of the tires were big enough that they could actually lay inside of them and sleep, which was exactly what MT did. Jesse did the same, and Alan Dracula seemed content to sleep on top of one of the tires instead of inside one.

They hadn’t talked much since the desert car, but that made sense. Everyone was tired and it had been hot and terrible there. If Jesse felt hurt by anything she said, it didn’t matter to her and frankly wasn’t any of her business anyway. She was just here to help get his number to zero, that way she could keep traveling with the deer and wouldn’t owe him for trying to protect her from his weird old cult anymore.

They weren’t friends. She meant what she said.

Waking up the next morning (morning? It didn’t really matter, things like morning and afternoon and night were so arbitrary on the train, changing from car to car with no real difference when you looked out in the wasteland) it seemed like if Jesse had been bothered by anything, he’d forgotten about it by now, back to his old chipper self. He still had the strange pack the rest of those cult kids had, but the wavy mark on his face had smudged away by now.

“So, you said you know how we can get my number down?” he asked, opening the door to leave the tire playground car. MT nodded confidently, because as far as she’d seen it was a pretty simple process once you figured it out.

“Oh yeah, I’ve seen it before so I’m basically an expert. All you gotta do is learn stuff about yourself,” she said, Jesse nodding and listening intently as they cross the gangplank to the next car.

“You mean with Tulip?” he asked, and it was hard for MT not to bristle at that, frowning hard as she nodded.

“Yeah. It picks up people with problems and you just gotta work through them to get your number down. Think of it as really high stakes, involuntary therapy, except the therapist is like, a talking dog or a broken robot or something,” she said, waving her hand as she spoke. Jesse hummed at that, opening the door to the next car. MT wasn’t sure if he’d noticed the way she would hang back at doors, but he was the passenger so it only made sense for him to go first.

And she’d rather not go barging into some place before she got a good look at it and how possibly reflective it might be.

Thankfully MT could let out a sigh of relief as she peaked into it over Jesse’s shoulder. From first glance it seemed relatively safe, a bright dirt path with white open wooden fences lining it, leading down into what looked like a little countryside market.

“Oh,” Jesse said, and MT was immediately on edge by the worry in his voice, the way he took a hesitant step back. As she scanned around though she couldn’t see anything immediately dangerous, and it was certainly better than the last couple of cars they’d been in. Just little colorful bird people off in the distance, running a whole assortment of stands. Sure, there was no immediate sign of the exit either, but that was pretty typical.

“What’s wrong?” she gave in and asked, Jesse jolting at her voice before giving her a quick smile.

“Nothing, just old habits I guess. I’d gone on some raids with the Apex in cars that had a lot of nu-” he paused suddenly. MT wasn’t sure if it was the glare she was giving him or if he stopped on his own. “A lot of denizens. It wasn’t- it never ended well,” he muttered that last part. MT brushed past him, starting down the dirt path.

“You mean you killed them,” she said, and maybe it was rough but that was what the train was, right? Really high stakes, involuntary therapy. Deal with it or die.

“No! It wasn’t like that, I didn’t… I didn’t do any of it myself,” he insisted, following along. Alan Dracula had made a beeline straight through one of the fences (literally, he’d phased through it) and was chowing down on some grass. They’d gone a few cars without any, so MT wasn’t going to disturb him.

“But you didn’t stop them either,” she said, and Jesse’s shoulders slumped at that, shaking his head after a long moment.

“No… not until you guys,” he admitted. They had reached the little farmers market now, which was a relief because MT didn’t want to continue this conversation anymore. The bird people running around were about two foot tall at most, calling out and squawking about their wares and sales and so on. Lots of other birds were frantically flying from stand to stand, trading different items before moving onto the next stand.

“Hey,” MT said, grabbing the shoulder of what looked like a giant chicken. “You know where we can find the exit?” she asked. The chicken’s feathers fluffed up in irritation as she looked them over, holding a sack of some sort of fruit closer to her, like she was afraid of them snatching it.

“That would be Old Man Pitachine’s stand, at the end of the market,” she said, before quickly running off. Looking over at Jesse he shrugged, which was about where she was at honestly. Walking through the market, it didn’t take too long to find the right stand, a large wooden sign hung up on the top declaring ‘Old Man Pitachine’s Doors and Dingers’

Leaning over the counter, MT could see several large doors stood up against the walls and on display. Colorful wooden doors and solid metal doors, a few stained glass doors that she was instantly wary of, leaning back a little. At the back of the stand the door stood, the red and large golden handle standing out among the mismatch of random entryways.  In the corner clearly asleep was an old looking parrot of a man, with an eyepatch, because of course.

Grabbing Jesse by the shoulder, she pulled him up to the stand.

“Okay, ready to get started getting your number down?” she asked, the boy instantly bouncing excitedly.

“Yes! Absolutely! What do I do?” he asked.

“Just do everything I say, it should be pretty simple. This is a shop, right? I bet you anything we have to give the old man something to get access to the door, so all you gotta do is talk to him, figure out what he needs, and then do it,” she explained.

“Makes sense!” he said, straightening up some and turning towards the sleeping parrot. “Um, excuse me sir? Uh, sir?” he called, the parrot continuing to sleep. “Okay, then, uuuh, hey?” he tried, reaching over and snapping his fingers in front of the guy a few times, which finally seemed to wake him up.

“Huh? What?” he squawked, squinting around with his one good eye before seeming to notice Jesse and frowning. Of course, the boy just smiled brightly.

“Excuse me fine sir! We were hoping to purchase one of your fabulous doors,” he said, and MT couldn’t help rolling her eyes at the formality. The parrot hummed through, quickly looking over the two of them before speaking. 

“There any one in particular you and your very shiny friend there got your eyes on?” he asked, Jesse humming long and thoughtfully in response, tapping his chin a few times as he pretended to think it over.

“Gosh well, there’s so many wonderful choices, but aah, let’s see… I think we were hoping for that red one in the back, with the big golden handle?” he said finally, the parrot grinning and chuckling at that.

“Ah, good eye, expensive taste,” Old Man Pitachine said, and yeah this was going pretty much exactly as MT had figured it would.

“Oh well, I’m sure we can work out some sort of deal,” Jesse said, quickly looking around. “Let’s see, I’ve got, uh, I’ve got a harpoon pack? And um, a pen?” he continued, stopping as the parrot shook his head.

“Now, now, no need for all that. You seem like a very polite young man, even if your metal friend back there is awfully quiet,” he said, glancing over at MT. She didn’t say anything, shooting the bird a glare, and thankfully he continued. “So, I’ll cut you a deal. Go down to Cackaloo’s Chisels and Crafts and get me a new sander, and you can have access to the door,” he finished.

“Really?” Jesse asked, his eyes lighting up. “That sounds easy enough! You got a deal,” he said, shaking the parrot’s hand.

“Come on Alan Dracula,” MT called as they left to go find the new stand. The deer ambled along after them, still stopping to pick at grass that grew between all the different stands. There were at least a hundred different booths, filled with all kinds of odds and ends. It took walking up and down a few makeshift aisles before they found the one Old Man Pitachine had sent them to. As soon as they did Jesse ran up to it, and it did seem to be selling an assortment of wood carving tools. MT might have been very carefully standing behind Jesse, careful not to get too close to the metal. Most of it looked kind of worn down and rusted, but she was not going to take any chances.

“Good morning! I was in the market for a new sander and told this was the stand to get one,” Jesse said brightly to the little cockatoo person. They turned towards him, their head tilting to the side.

“And what do you have for it?” they asked, and Jesse hummed, beginning to pat himself over again.

“Uh, got a harpoon pack…” he said. MT quickly tugged on his sleeve.

“Hey, maybe you shouldn’t keep trying to give away the harpoon pack,” she hissed. Jesse turned towards her, frowning in confusion.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s a harpoon pack! Sounds like it might be a pretty useful thing to have. Also, they’re birds. They can fly,” she said. Jesse blinked at that, seeming to take a moment before nodding.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” he said, before turning back towards the cockatoo salesperson. “Um, I have a pen?” he tried instead, and MT couldn’t blame them for rolling their eyes.

“This is a business boy, not a charity. If you don’t got anything worthwhile to trade then don’t waste my time,” they snipped, starting to turn away again.

“Wait! I really, really need that sander,” Jesse pleaded. The cockatoo sighed, looking Jesse over again before seeming to come to some conclusion.

“Alright, listen boy, I gotta watch this stand and don’t have time to run out for lunch. You head down to Mr. Jay’s Eatery and get me the sunflower special, and you got yourself a deal,” they said. Jesse let out a sigh of relief, nodding sharply.

“You got it,” he said, still smiling as they left the stand to find the right eatery. MT couldn’t help but frown as they stood off to the side with Alan Dracula, watching as Jesse waited in line. The market was too loud for her to hear exactly what he was saying as he talked to the bluejay working the food stand, but she couldn’t say she was surprised when he started patting his pockets once again, producing the same cheap blue pen. Some more talking, and then Jesse was walking back over to them empty handed.

“What did he want?” MT asked, Jesse sighing.

“New spatula, said we can find some at Robin’s Restaurant Roulette,” he said.

“I’m starting to see a bit of a pattern here,” she said, the boy nodding in agreement as they scanned signs, looking for the right one.

“Yeah this… this might take a bit longer than I thought,” Jesse muttered.

The bird with the spatulas ended up wanting a new tie. The men’s clothing stand penguin needed a jewelry box. The carpenter pigeon needed a stuffed animal for her nephew’s birthday next week, and the build a bird workshop owner would really appreciate it if they went and got him a new umbrella.

MT was just about at the end of their patience with these damn birds and their damn fetch quests as they walked up to Urich’s Rainy Day Resorts, which looked to be some sort of duck. Jesse seemed nearly as done as she felt, panting from running back and forth through the large market as he stomped up to the stand.

“Can we please have an umbrella? I have a pen,” he said, brandishing the pen at them, his voice dry of all the cheery politeness it had started the day with. The duck turned towards them, seeming surprised by their presence and taking a moment to register exactly what it was Jesse said.

“Oh! You know, my last pen just went and dried up. That would sure save me a trip. Why don’t you hand that over and you can have one of the small ones in the front there,” the duck said, and MT actually froze as Jesse stood up straight.

“Wait, really?” he asked, and she couldn’t blame him for not believing it. The duck nodded, and immediately Jesse slammed the pen down on the countertop, quickly grabbing one of the little, solid color umbrellas. “Yessss,” he cheered, holding it tight to his chest.

“Holy shit that took forever. Come on, let’s go get the rest of the junk and get out of here already,” MT said, Jesse quickly nodding in agreement. Before they could move though a bright green glow started to shine from Jesse’s hand, and when he held it out the numbers were clearly changing.

It moved.

Up to 99.

“W-what?” Jesse asked, staring at the number in shock. “Why did it just go up?”

“I don’t know, it shouldn’t have done that,” MT said at a loss. That was how it worked for passengers, you did the stupid trials and your numbers went down.

“Was- was all of this just a trick?” he asked, fear and hurt in his voice. MT immediately started shaking her head.

“What? No, of course not! Why would I bother doing something like that?” she asked, Jesse actually scoffing at that.

“I don’t know! Maybe because you hate passengers and you hate me!” he snapped.

“I don’t-” MT started to insist, but before she could finish Jesse turned, tossing the umbrella to the side and running off down the stands. “Jesse!” she shouted after him, but he didn’t stop. Groaning in frustration, MT glanced back down at the umbrella.

And let out a long sigh.

“Come on Alan Dracula,” she called to the deer, picking up the dumb thing quickly before chasing after Jesse. She could have just left him. They weren’t friends.

But she was starting to wonder if maybe they could be.

——

Jesse managed to get out of the market with all the birds and out into the small, rolling fields that surrounded it. He didn’t end up going too far, walking along the wooden fence for a bit before picking a spot at random and sitting down, his back up against one of the posts.

Looking at his hand, the glowing green number stared back at him mockingly. Jesse quickly closed his fist, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. Maybe he made a mistake. Maybe he would have been better off staying with the Apex. At least things made sense there. He knew where he stood and what he had to do. It was as close to normal as anything was ever going to get on this train.

Jesse wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there before he felt something nudge his arm. Peeking up over his arms, he couldn’t help smiling when he saw Alan Dracula having curled up next to him.

“Hey buddy,” he said, wrapping the deer up in a hug. “You know I could never stay mad at you.”

A few seconds later and he could hear more footsteps coming his way up the path. He turned to bury his face even further into the deer’s fur, steadily ignoring them.

“Hey,” MT said, after what had to be a long moment of just standing there, waiting to see if he would look. He still didn’t look up, because he’d fallen for this once already. She said she didn’t hate him back in the desert car, and he thought maybe they could be friends. Apparently Grace and Simon might have been right though, the nulls weren’t really trying to help him. They were just taking advantage of him, and he wasn’t even sure what she was getting out of it.

“What do you want?” he asked, because it didn’t seem like she was going away.

“Well, you’re cuddling my deer, for one thing,” she said, which of course. He shouldn’t be surprised she was only here for the deer. After a moment though she sighed. “Look, just… here.”

After a few seconds his curiosity got the best of him, and Jesse pulled back from Alan Dracula to see what it was she was offering him. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t a large apple on a stick, a caramel coating over it with bits of nuts and seeds on top. She had two more in her other hand.

“What’s this?” he asked, still keeping one arm on Alan Dracula, but turning more towards the metal girl.

“An olive branch,” she insisted. It was clear in everything from her stance to her voice how uncomfortable she was, and Jesse couldn’t help but smile the slightest bit.

“Really? Because it looks a lot like a candy apple,” he teased, MT quickly rolling her eyes.

“You know, Alan Dracula will happily eat two of these things,” she huffed, and she definitely had a point there. Jesse took the stick from her, because he was hungry. He didn’t immediately start eating it yet though, watching as MT sat down, handing the second over to the deer, who did immediately start crunching it.

“Thanks,” he muttered after a moment, beginning to eat the apple. MT just shrugged, and it was quiet for a bit as they sat there enjoying the snacks. Sunflower seeds were a little weird for the top of a caramel apple, but definitely not bad and it had been a town of birds, so it made sense. He was about halfway done when MT sighed, breaking the silence.

“Listen, I wasn’t trying to trick you,” she said, and Jesse was steadily not looking at her.

“But you said that doing all that stuff would get my number down,” he argued.

“Yeah, because I thought it would,” MT said, pausing for a moment and crunching loudly on her own apple. “Look, I uh, might have been exaggerating a bit when I said I was like, an expert at this. I know how it’s supposed to work, but I’ve never actually like, done this before? The whole helping thing.”

“What?” Jesse asked, frowning as he finally looked up at her again. “I thought you said that was like, the train’s whole purpose though? To help passengers.” MT nodded at that.

“Yeah, the train, but not mine! I have no interest in traipsing around as some little sidekick my whole life helping people work out their issues. The only reason I’m lending you a hand here is because the deer likes you, and I owe you one for trying to protect me from your weird cult,” she said, her face twisting in another frown before adding. “Two now, actually, because of the desert.”

“Oh,” he said, taking a moment to think that over. “I thought you said you helped Tulip though?” he asked, and MT quickly shook her head.

“I was with Tulip, but I didn’t help her. She had Atticus and One-One for that,” she insisted. “She helped me more than anything,” she muttered. Jesse wasn’t sure what to say to that, every time MT let something slip it seemed like there was more and more he didn’t know about her.

“So… you don’t know how to get my number down then?” he asked after a long moment. There was some relief when MT quickly shook her head.

“No, like I said I know how it should work. Like, the train makes you learn lessons, I just figured all that bull had been like, a lesson in patience or something? I guess we did it wrong though, or it wasn’t what you needed to learn or whatever, which is why your number went up,” she explained, and that at least made some sense.

“What am I supposed to learn then?” he asked, MT shrugging.

“I don’t know. I guess it depends on what made you get on the train in the first place. Tell me what your problems are,” she said, and Jesse frowned and shrugged at the question, taking another bite of his caramel apple as he thought.

“Uh, I don’t know? Oh, one time my friend said they didn’t like celery, but I kind of like celery, so they gave me their celery. Only the lunch lady saw and thought I was wasting celery so she stood there and made me eat like, thirty pieces of celery,” he said, getting an unamused look from MT in response.

“That sounds more like a problem the lunch lady needs fixed,” she said bluntly.

“Wait, do you think Mrs. Graham is on the train?” he asked, looking around like he expected her to jump out at any moment.

“Probably! But Mrs. Graham isn’t here right now,” MT said, throwing her hands up in the air. “Look, whatever the train took you for is gonna be a little more impactful than celery,” she added.

“I don’t know though,” he said, and he’d finished his caramel apple at this point and was playing with the stick, rubbing it between his hands. “I think I’m a pretty normal, happy guy?” MT was frowning as she looked him over now.

“Well, it’s gonna be a little hard to fix you if we don’t even know what’s wrong,” she said, which was a fair point. “Like, I don’t know. Are your parents divorced?” she asked, the question taking Jesse off guard.

“What? No. They’re doing fine,” he said, MT seeming to take a moment to think that over.

“Are you like, bullied at school or something?” she asked next, and Jesse shook his head.

“No, I’m friends with every kind of kid at school,” he told her. He didn’t miss the way she rolled her eyes slightly at that, but she didn’t comment on it.

“Attention issues?”

“I don’t think so?”

“Perfectionist?”

“Oh, definitely not.”

“Identity crisis?”

“I don’t- this doesn’t seem like a very good way to figure this out,” Jesse said, starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

“I’m putting that one down as a maybe,” MT said, and Jesse could feel his face heat up a little at that.

“Okay just- just stop,” he said, running his hands down the sides of his face. MT was still smirking at him a little but seemed to relent, ceasing their barrage of trying to guess what flavor of personal baggage he had. “Look, I’ll… try to think about it I guess? If it’ll help get me back home,” he said, and MT nodded.

“Fair enough,” she said. The quiet started to stretch on again then, and after a moment Jesse sighed.

“And uh, sorry. For storming off like that,” he mumbled. MT shrugged, not seeming too bothered by it.

“It’s whatever. I get it, I know I’m not exactly the nicest person around. I’m not about to go telling you my whole life story, but maybe…” she was steadily looking anywhere but at him now, rubbing the back of her head and her face getting inexplicably dark despite being made of metal, “maybe we could be friends? If we’re gonna be stuck traveling together anyway.”

“Really?” Jesse asked, not quite able to hide the excitement in his voice. “Like, travel friends?” MT groaned, throwing her head back.

“Fine sure, travel friends,” she relented, a small smile starting to form on her face. For a moment Jesse just grinned back at her, but soon enough the reality of their whole situation came back and he slumped against the fence a bit harder.

“Speaking of traveling, I would kind of like to get out of this car already,” he said, MT nodding in agreement.

“Yeah. Not really sure how we’re gonna do that though. I traded the umbrella for those caramel apples,” she said, and Jesse froze as he processed what she had said so casually.

“You did what?” he asked, and now she was starting to look flustered.

“It seemed like the nice thing to do at the time! I’m not good at nice, okay!” she shouted back. Jesse groaned, his head falling back hard against the wooden post behind him.

“I don’t wanna do all that again,” he whined, and he wasn’t even sure if they could. He didn’t have much else on him, other than the harpoon pack.

“You’re telling me,” MT said. Jesse sat staring up at the sky for a long moment, trying to think of some way around this. Some way to get access to the door without having to jump through all of these dumb hoops. Next to him, it seemed like Alan Dracula had fallen asleep.

Blinking, Jesse started to get an idea.

“I uh, I might of just thought of something? But it kind of feels like… I don’t know, cheating?” he said. MT blinked at that, before a small smile started to spread across her face.

“Hit me.”

It wasn’t too much later that they were back in the farmer’s market, peeking around a stand to look over at Old Man Pitachine’s Doors and Dingers. Jesse couldn’t help letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of the old parrot, back asleep in his chair at the front of the booth. Waving MT over, they started making their way in a manner that he hoped seemed casual to everyone around.

Heading into the booth, he didn’t say anything to the sleeping bird, instead pretending to casually inspect the doors. MT was following along after him, a clump of grass in her hand to keep Alan Dracula close. Very slowly, they made their way to the back of the booth, just a couple of curious shoppers looking at the wares.

Once they got to the door, Jesse glanced back over at Old Man Pitachine. He was still asleep, and so he very carefully, very slowly turned the handle. It twisted, and Jesse couldn’t help letting out a long sigh of relief when the door actually opened.

MT quickly shushed him and he flinched, glancing back at the front of the booth. The birds were still all running around, too busy to notice them. He quickly ushered MT and Alan Dracula through before heading out himself, extremely relieved when the door shut behind them.

“Okay, maybe we should have done that from the beginning,” MT said, and Jesse laughed as he nodded in agreement.

“Definitely easier that way,” he said, pausing when his hand started to glow brighter. There was a moment where it felt like his heart stopped, no idea if the numbers were going to move up or down.

He let out a sigh of relief when it settled on 89. Down.

MT snorted, bumping his shoulder.

“Look at that, the train just rewarded you for cheating. Maybe that’s your problem, too much of a goody-two-shoes,” she said, and Jesse gasped in mock offense.

“Hey, I doubt that’s it. I was a very fearsome member of the Apex, remember?” he said, MT not seeming the least bit convinced.

“Right, I remember how fearsome you were. All ‘raah, go away null! No one wants you here!’ so scary,” she said, putting her hands up as mock claws, and Jesse couldn’t help but laugh at that.

The Apex had insisted that they were there to make sure Jesse was getting everything he could from the train, everything it owed him, use it to its fullest potential.

But this was the first time where it actually felt like he was starting to have some fun.

Chapter Text

They’d been traveling together for almost two weeks now.

Time was hard to tell on the train, but Jesse was pretty sure of that at least. His phone had run out of batteries a while ago, about three weeks into his stay on the train. Now it was just a useless piece of plastic in his pocket, and he’d had to find other ways to keep track of the time. Mostly he went by how often he slept, but that wasn’t really foolproof. Still, it gave a rough enough estimate.

It’d been about four days since they got out of that farmers market car. Four days since MT suggested that they could be friends, since she’d really broken down how the train worked and how he would be able to get home. He’d told MT that he would think about why he was on the train in the first place, and well, he wasn’t dumb. Or maybe he could be at times, but he wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t like he couldn’t remember what had happened right before the train appeared, even if he couldn’t replay the video whenever he got a moment alone like before. That had to have something to do with it, and he should probably tell MT about it.

But he hadn’t yet.

He was trying not to think about that though, or about the number on his hand. The glowing green number that had been stuck solidly at 89 since they left the bird market. Just nothing for four days.

He was also trying not to think about his number, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

“Look, this is nothing. Tulip would go weeks with no change to her number,” MT said casually, pulling herself up the large, strange mountain they were working up. It was lit with different colors on each side, and the rocks were less rocky and a little soft, like solid Styrofoam. As they moved jets of smoke shot out of cracks every so often. There was still quite a distance to go to the top, where Jesse could make out the door.

“You know, that’s really not as reassuring as you might think it is,” Jesse complained, pausing to avoid getting shot in the face with a blast of hot steam. Once it went down he quickly jumped over it, pausing to get his balance again before continuing on. “How long was Tulip even on the train for?” he asked, not sure if he could expect a straight answer or not.

They were friends now, and despite the nagging in the back of his mind Jesse had been having more fun over these few days than he’d ever had with the Apex. MT even seemed to be loosening up some too, smiling and laughing more. That didn’t seem to make her any less tight lipped about anything that had to do with her past though. He still wasn’t even sure who Tulip was exactly , other than another passenger that MT had spent a lot of time with. She said they weren’t friends, and she hadn’t been helping her, which didn’t leave a lot of options.

“Eeeh, don’t worry about it,” MT said, a not entirely genuine carelessness to her voice. She stumbled back slightly as a jet hit her square in the face, shaking her head and coughing, setting the mountain with a downright nasty glare afterwards.

Alan Dracula looked a little more like a goat than a deer right now, and from the looks of it was already at the top of the mountain.

“MT, how long?” he pressed, and maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. He only had the Apex to base off of after all, and they weren’t trying to get their numbers down at all. MT seemed to be ignoring him now, focusing on climbing a little bit faster up the mountain. “MT!” he whined, which seemed to finally get her to stop. 

“Look, I don’t know! Four? Uh, four and a half months?” she said finally, and Jesse nearly lost his grip on his handhold at that.

“Four months?”

“Fiiiive?” MT corrected hesitantly. “I don’t really know how long it took her to get her exit after we split? Probably closer to five months,” she continued, and Jesse felt a little like he was close to hysterics again. “Look, she didn’t know what she was supposed to be doing, alright? You do, so it shouldn’t take as long,” she added, and it wasn’t like that didn’t make sense. It just didn’t feel all that reassuring at the moment.

Jesse didn’t realize how long he’d been standing there, clinging to the side of the weird smoky mountain until a shiny metal hand was suddenly held out in front of him.

“Hey, so I get that like, having breakdowns and these big emotional moments are kind of par the course for you passengers, but do you think you could do it not on the side of a shitty fake mountain? I think another avalanche is coming soon,” MT said, and the annoyance in her voice didn’t sound as genuine as it used to. Taking a deep breath, he nodded and reached up to grab the offered hand.

She helped pull him up the next big hurdle, and the last chunk of the mountain didn’t take too much longer to scale working together. Soon enough they were at the top, both collapsing down near the foot of the door. Alan Dracula was already there and waiting for them like Jesse thought, reaching over and giving the deer a scratch behind his ear. After a moment he sighed, slumping forward to rest his chin on his knees.

“Sorry. I know it’ll happen eventually, I’m just really homesick I guess?” he said, his stomach twisting at the thought of being stuck on here for another five months. For his family not to have any idea what happened to him for half a year.

“I wouldn’t know,” MT said after a long few seconds of silence. Jesse couldn’t help raise an eyebrow at that.

“You’ve never felt homesick before?” he asked, a little surprised at how quickly MT shook her head. “Why not?”

“You have to miss a place to feel homesick. There’s nowhere I’m from that I’d ever want to go back to,” she said, and this wasn’t what Jesse was expecting. It wasn’t much sure, but it was more information about her past than MT had offered up without prompting than ever before.

“I guess that’s fair,” he said, wondering if now was a good time to ask more. Before he could make up his mind though the moment must’ve passed, MT pushing herself to her feet.

“Anyway, we moving onto the next car now or you want to nap here?” she said. The mountain rumbled under them again and Jesse shook his head, quickly standing up as well.

“Next car please,” he said, twisting the large golden handle and heading forward across the gangplank. MT and Alan Dracula followed along, and he quickly went and opened the other door.

The train car that they were looking into now was… dark. Very dark.

Without thinking, Jesse reached over to the side of the door, unable to help feeling disappointed when there was no switch to flip in reach.

“Did- did you just try to turn the lights on?” MT asked, sounding like she was trying not to laugh. Jesse shrugged sheepishly, not moving into the next car yet. It was so dark he couldn’t make out anything.

“Hey! It doesn’t hurt to try,” he said, biting his lip as he tried to figure out the best way to tackle this train car. The cars were already dangerous normally, he didn’t like the idea of going into one where he couldn’t even see anything. “Uh, you wouldn’t happen to have a flashlight on you, do you?” he asked, MT giving him a confused look.

“Where would I be keeping a flashlight?” she asked, which was a pretty fair point.

“I don’t know! Uh, maybe I can…” he trailed off, holding his hand with the number up in front of him. It did glow, but the green light wasn’t spreading far enough to do much. He could just barely make out the floor, but he figured that would have to do for now.

Next to him, MT started snickering.

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Nothing, I just- the way you said that, for some reason I pictured you suddenly revealing that you’ve been wearing light up sketchers this whole time,” she explained, and Jesse couldn’t help laughing as well.

“Oh man, that would’ve been so useful though!” he complained, before sighing as he turned back towards the open door in front of them. Taking a deep breath they stepped into the car, the door shutting behind them and leaving the only source of light now the number on Jesse’s hand. That wasn’t doing much other than letting him see where MT and Alan Dracula were. Mostly MT, the light reflecting off of her.

“Why is it never a dessert car?” he grumbled, slowly starting to walk forward.

He only got a few steps before there was a click, suddenly the path illuminated in front of him by something that looked like headlights. Quickly turning towards the source of the light, he was surprised to see Alan Dracula ambling forward, his eyes shooting out two wide beams of light in front of them.

“Ha! Deer is the headlights! Thanks AD!” he said, delighted. He was pretty sure he heard MT snickering again, the two of them moving to keep up with Alan Dracula. Jesse put on hand on the deer’s back, and he could see MT had a hold of his neck on the other side.

Walking forward, they could see a bit more of the car now. Mostly just whatever was directly ahead of them, the darkness still stretching off into what felt like forever to the sides and behind them. He could see now that they were walking down some old brick path, no clear indication of where it was leading, everything seeming pretty barren. Every so often the light from AD’s eyes would reflect off of some sort of shiny looking broken gemstone.

“Travel friends, brought together by the sheer majesty of an incredible super powered deer,” Jesse started singing under his breath, trying not to let the nerves to get him. “Travel friends, following the deerlights through the spooky shadow car, looking for the door, wanna find the door, gotta find the door.”

“What are you doing?” MT asked suddenly, and Jesse couldn’t help jolting a bit.

“Sorry, I’ll stop,” he said quickly, not surprised that she heard but still disappointed. It was so quiet in here.

“I just asked what you were doing, didn’t say you had to stop,” MT said, and Jesse almost paused at that.

“It’s not annoying you?” he asked, MT scoffing at that.

“You’re always annoying me,” she said, and Jesse supposed he should have expected that response. “So like, not anymore than usual, it’s fine,” she added. Despite himself Jesse actually relaxed some, he’d been around MT long enough to know this was her trying to be nice again.

“A lot of the other Apex kids would get annoyed, especially Simon. He was always trying to be like, this super serious general guy or something I guess? Ya know, for all they liked to talk about getting the most out of the train and not having to follow any dumb rules and to just enjoy ourselves, none of them ever seemed all that interested in actually having any fun, and there were a lot of dumb rules, ” he complained.

“They were a bunch of murder happy jerks running Barbie’s first dream cult! Of course they didn’t care about fun,” MT said, which was a fair point. Jesse simply nodded, carefully watching his steps as the path became somewhat more broken up, more of those little crystals littering the ground. “So, the singing then?” MT asked again.

“Right, I guess I’m just kinda nervous? My family and I go on haunted hikes, and haunted hayrides, and haunted houses every year, and they’re never this spooky. It’s so… quiet,” he explained, seeing MT nod out of the corner of his eye.

“Fair enough,” she said, and it was quiet for a moment again. Jesse didn’t start singing, but he did begin humming under his breath some after a bit. “So… sounds like you sure do like your haunted attractions,” MT added after some time.

“Oh yeah, Halloween is my favorite. You’ll never guess what I went as last year,” Jesse said, thankful for the excuse to keep up the conversation. The darkness wasn’t as bad when they were talking, and so far nothing had happened yet. It didn’t sound like anyone else was in here, at least.

“How would I have any idea what- wait. Was it Dracula?”

“It was Dracula!”

MT groaned loudly at that, and Jesse was smiling for real now. It faded some as he felt the dead phone in his pocket, regretting the fact that he couldn’t show her any pictures.

“Halloween was always my favorite holiday too,” MT said quietly after a moment, and Jesse frowned a bit at that. It was just… there’d been something on his mind for a while now, other than all the other things on his mind. This one was getting harder to ignore though.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah, for one day I didn’t have to look like-” MT cut herself off abruptly, and Jesse could practically hear her mind catching up to what she was saying. “I didn’t- uh, I just like costumes,” she muttered. Jesse nodded despite the fact that it was clear that wasn’t how MT was originally going to end that sentence.

“What was your favorite one?” he asked, partially because he wanted to keep talking, and partially because he was really, really curious about what the answer would be.

“Let me guess, yours was Dracula?” MT asked back, and he grinned at that.

“I mean, that one’s obvious,” he said, hearing MT snort. It was quiet for a moment, and part of him wondered if she was even going to answer the question or not. So he was kind of surprised when she sighed and spoke.

“We went as a lumberjack last year, I guess that one? It was honestly a pretty lazy costume, but I liked having an ax,” she said, a deliberately nonchalant tone to her voice. There were so many things she said like that, or things that really did seem to be casual that she didn’t even realize she let slip.

“Hey MT, can I ask you something?” he asked, because well, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just ask.

“You’re going to anyway,” she complained, but he was pretty sure that was as close as she would get to giving permission.

“Are you- did you use to be a person?” he asked, unease pooling in his guts at the idea. He’d been trying not to think about it, to come up with some other explanation, but he couldn’t.

“I am a person!” MT snapped immediately, her voice loud in the oppressive silence of the darkness. Jesse couldn’t help but flinch at that, regretting his choice of words instantly.

“No, that’s not- I don’t mean like that,” he tried, because he didn’t. They were friends and it was pretty damn clear that Grace and Simon had been wrong about the denizens on the train. Even still MT huffed in clear irritation, starting to walk a bit faster.

“Then I don’t know what you mean,” she said, and she was a little ways in front of them now, cutting a large shadow across the beams of light Alan Dracula was sending out in front of them. Jesse sighed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to think of a way to explain that wouldn’t make her even more mad.

“It’s just- you talk about things sometimes that don’t sound like they came from the train. It sounds like you had a life before all of this,” he said, and he could see MT’s hackles rise at that, steadily walking further ahead.

“That’s none of your business,” she insisted. She’d been pretty upfront that she wasn’t the type to talk about her past, and Jesse had been trying to respect that, but this felt different. 

“But- but it kind of is! Can that happen? Is it something that happens if you mess up too badly? You lose your number and become a part of the train? Or is there something on the train that can do it to you? If- if peop-” he cut himself off, because that wasn’t the right word. “If passengers can be turned into denizens and get stuck on here forever, that’s kind of something I want to know!”

“…It’s not,” MT said after a long moment, her form shrinking and her shoulders slumping. They’d stopped walking now, the whole place feeling unnaturally still.

“What?” he asked, surprised by the answer.

“It’s not a thing, at least as far as I’ve ever heard. You can die, that’ll keep you here forever I guess, but there’s nothing that’s gonna get rid of your number,” she assured him. “I wasn’t ever a passenger.”

Jesse wasn’t sure what to say, having to take a moment to let that sink in. He’d honestly been so sure he’d figured out what was so weird about MT, why she seemed to secretive about her past. How she knew about things like Halloween and Arizona and light up Sketchers and Dora the Explorer. 

He thought he’d cracked it, but apparently he was wrong.

“Then… then why do you know so much about the real world?” he asked.

MT sighed heavily, finally turning back around to face him and Alan Dracula. She was standing at the edge of the beams of light the deer was sending ahead of them, which helped make it so that the light didn’t reflect quite so blindingly off of her. It was still basically impossible to see the surroundings around her, between the reflecting light and the shadows. She was honestly sparkling with the way it hit her, if they were anywhere else Jesse probably would have gotten kind of distracted by the sight.

“I already told you, that’s none of your busine-”

She didn’t manage to finish that sentence.

Jesse didn’t see what grabbed her, it was too dark and she was too shiny and her black clothes blended in with the background too much. One moment she’d been standing there, looking unsure and conflicted, and the next he saw her get yanked back out of the edges of the light and disappearing into the inky blackness around them.

“MT!”

—

“Jesse!”

She could hear Jesse shouting her name, the terror and panic there matching her own pretty damn closely. It felt like the wind got knocked out of her, something strong and thick wrapped around her middle, her arms pinned to her sides as she was pulled back against her will.

Whatever was holding her and dragging her along was fast. MT could see the beam of light from Alan Dracula shrinking farther and farther in the distance.

“Jesse! Alan! Help!” she screamed, trying to break the hold on her, trying to make noise so that they could maybe follow. “Let go of me!” she snapped, trying to dig her heels into the ground and only succeeding in losing one of her boots in the process.

“MT! Where’d you go?” she could hear Jesse calling, and scanning the horizon she could see a small beam of light that must’ve been Alan Dracula, and her stomach dropped when she realized how far away they were already.

“This way! Over here!” she yelled, having every intention of continuing to yell until she either got herself out of here or Jesse and Alan Dracula managed to catch up. She saw the light Alan was sending forward turn in her direction, so they must’ve heard her. “Jess-”

The name got cut off in her throat, whatever was carrying her away diving down. She barely managed to register the change in direction before she felt the back of her head slam against the side of some sort of wall or entryway or something, the thing abducting her apparently not caring to be all that careful.

The knock left her dazed, it taking a moment to even think about forming words again as she saw stars. The only thing she could think was that they were lucky it grabbed her and not Jesse, if that knock messed her up, it would have straight up killed him. When she managed to get control of herself again she shook her head, trying to will the shimmering silver specks away. It didn’t work, instead if anything they seemed to be increasing.

It was only then that MT realized she wasn't seeing things, no. They were in some sort of cave, and what she thought were stars were tiny specks of sparkling, glowing stones in the darkness. They were similar to the broke bits that had been scattered across the surface, but brighter. The further in they went the more appeared, getting steadily brighter as more colors started to get thrown into the mix, purples and oranges and greens, glimmering and glinting against the stone. Eventually there were so many and they were so large that they started making their own light, illuminating the area around her.

Whatever was dragging her came to a stop suddenly, and in the dim light of the cave MT could finally came out what it looked like. The body was a solid back, almost catlike, with several long tails, one of which was still wrapped around her waist. There was a long moment where it held her aloft, large dark eyes staring directly at her as she tried not to move. She got the feeling moving would be bad in this situation.

Then the tail released her, dropping her unceremoniously to the ground in a pile of shimmering crystals.

“Ow! Hey!” MT snapped, scrambling to get up. She didn’t get far before the creature landed on top of her, large paws holding her to the ground. “Get off of me!” she growled, but it didn’t seem to pay her any mind. Instead its tails were shifting around more of those crystals, the lights dancing around the cave, shining and reflecting off her body and-

Oh.

Oh damn it.

MT wasn’t sure how long she was stuck laying there for. At least a few hours. Every time she tried to crawl out from under the creature it would start to growl at her and she’d have to freeze again. She’d have to wait until it fell asleep or something. It was stupid and frustrating but she couldn’t think of what else to do, and Jesse had probably already left with Alan Dracula so she was going to be on her own again and it was just so-

“MT?”

“Huh?” she tried to twist around, managing to look back towards the entryway of the cave without annoying the giant cat monster too much. She could hear footsteps, or well, someone skidding around clumsily down the steep slope of the cave. Glancing back at the creature, it didn’t seem… aggressive, at least not right now. “I’m down here! Don’t- uh, don’t come in too fast?” she called up the cave, trying to keep her voice low enough to not annoy the thing, but loud enough for it to travel.

A few moments later, and two beams of light followed by a scattering of crystals announced Jesse and Alan Dracula’s presence. She saw the relieved smile on Jesse’s face at the sight of her drop sharply as he processed the very large creature still treating her like a fancy doll.

“Uh, MT? What- what is that thing?” he asked, clinging to the wall of the tunnel out and not stepping any closer, which was honestly probably smart. She groaned, running her free hand down her face.

“I don’t know! It just… it likes shiny things…” she mumbled, the last few words so quiet they were near incomprehensible.

“What?” Jesse asked, which okay, apparently fully incomprehensible.

“I said it likes shiny things,” she clarified. She could see Jesse’s eyes glancing around the room full of shimmering stones for a moment before landing on her again, the connection finally clicking over in his brain.

“Oh! Aw, it just thinks you’re pretty!” he said, and MT rolled her eyes heavily at that.

“Pretty tired of this bullshit!” she insisted, glaring at Jesse when he started snickering. “Look, if you’re not gonna help go wait outside! I’m just gonna wait until this thing falls asleep and then sneak out,” she huffed. Jesse paused at that, looking over the scene again.

“I’m not really sure what I could do, but we can wait with you? Down here. In the light,” he said. MT sighed, but there really wasn’t any reason to object to that.

“As long as you don’t keep this thing awake any longer than it needs to be,” she said. Jesse nodded, carefully sitting down at the edge of the cavern, Alan Dracula having at some point stuck himself to the ceiling like a stalactite. Stalagmite? Stalactite.

It took nearly another hour by MT’s best guess for the thing to finally falls asleep. As carefully as she could she slid out from under its grasp, careful not to make too much noise crunching gemstones under her feet as she started over to the mouth of the cave. She could see Jesse watching the creature nervously as she made her way over, before holding out a hand to help her back up into the tunnel.

She didn’t breathe until they were back up in the darkness, and when Alan Dracula’s eyes turned into beams of light again she yelped and jumped out of the way.

“Yeah uh, maybe you shouldn’t stand directly in the light. That might not be the only one of those things in here. Oh!” Jesse said, quickly turning to where she was in the shadows. “I got your shoe! ADrac found it when we were looking for you,” he said, handing it over.

“Thanks,” MT said, taking the shoe and quickly putting it back on. “Let’s just get out of here already,” she added, Jesse nodding at that. She could see him pause though, seeming to think something over before holding out his hand.

“Here, hold onto me,” he said, MT immediately frowning and raising an eyebrow at that.

“Why?”

“Because you should stay in the dark so nothing else tries to grab you. You can hold my hand and I’ll keep my other hand on Alan Dracula so that we all stay together,” he explained.

“But I can see Alan Dracula perfectly fine. I can still follow along on my own,” she insisted, because it was true. It was kind of hard to miss the deer honestly, since he was the only source of light in this car. Despite that Jesse was still frowning at her.

“But what if you get grabbed again?” he asked, still holding out his hand. When MT didn’t take it he sighed. “Please MT? You can trust me.”

Before she could answer the number on his hand brightened, shifting quickly.

85

“Huh,” Jesse said softly, staring down at it.

“Fine,” she relented, finally taking the hand. “If your number thinks it’s a good idea, lead the way,” she added, Jesse smiling at that before nodding sharply.

“Right! Lead the way Alan Dracula!” he said brightly. It took them a while to actually find the exit, basically having to wander aimlessly along the brick paths until they happened upon it. They didn’t really speak this time as they walked, not wanting to bring attention to themselves. She could still hear Jesse humming under his breath after a while though. There was a collective sigh of relief when they were finally able to step outside of that car.

“So,” Jesse said once they were out, and there was a moment where MT froze.

Their previous conversation had gotten cut off pretty abruptly, and she hadn’t answered his question. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to answer it. She didn’t owe him anything, let alone her life story.

“You sink in sand, and things that like shiny objects try to steal you. Are there any like, advantages to the whole metal body thing?” he finished. Not what she’d been expecting.

But that was a question she could answer. She didn’t even need words.

“Ow!” he yelped, hand flinging up to his forehead where she flicked him. “Okay, I deserved that.”

Chapter Text

The weirdest part was that things actually seemed to be going pretty smoothly, all things considered.

Sure, it was still the train’s version of smooth, which still allowed for things like endless trade quests or being grabbed by giant sparkle loving cat monsters, but nothing catastrophic. They were making progress, and Jesse’s number was slowly but surely moving downward.

Despite that, MT couldn’t let herself relax.

“What’s the longest someone’s been on the train for?” Jesse asked, because apparently he was in a mood to ask a bunch of questions today. They weren’t about her though, so as annoying as it was MT was letting it slide.

“How would I possibly know that?” she still asked right back, because she had no clue. Jesse shrugged, opening the exit to leave the very fuzzy car they had been traveling through.  The wind that blasted them between train cars was well expected by this point.

“I dunno,” he said, not seeming too bothered by her lack of an answer. “What do you think is the highest number someone’s ever gotten? Grace and Simon always said that they had the highest, other than the conductor,” he continued.

“Again, how would I know?” MT replied, although she did at least take the time to think it over as they walked along the gangplank. “They probably do have the highest? I mean, I have no idea how long this thing’s been around, but I don’t know how many people intentionally try and get their numbers up outside of your weird cult,” she said.

“I guess that’s fair. I’m not even sure if there is a conductor like they were talking about anymore, maybe they just made it up?” he said, and MT frowned at that.

“There was someone running the train before One-One. I never met them though, but I guess Tulip did after we split, since the robot’s in charge now,” she explained. She honestly still had no idea how that had happened, but it wasn’t any of her business either. She could see Jesse contemplate that as he went to open the door to the next train car.

“That’s something at least? That they weren’t lying about everything,” he muttered, throwing the door open. It wasn’t unusual to pause at the entrance of a new car, there was often a lot to take in. When Jesse froze up this time though MT could tell that it wasn’t the normal wonder or stunned reaction for an interesting car.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, peaking over his shoulder to get a look at the car, and immediately she could see what the problem was. Jesse was still frozen, but MT pushed her way past him, which seemed to get his mind working again.

“Already been through this one, huh?” she asked, her voice a little harder than she meant, and it wasn’t a large car. MT would guess about the size of a football field, although she’d never actually been on a football field before or seen one in person. Still, what she imagined a football field would be the size of. At one point, MT was pretty sure the large room they were in would have qualified as ‘classy.' The walls were a dark red, and the lights that remained hanging from the ceiling were dim. There were what probably amounted to maybe a dozen tables, but it was hard to tell with how smashed up they were. Still, from what remained they looked high quality, a green fabric torn from the tops of some, others all dark wood.

Bending over, MT picked up a discarded playing card, inspecting it for a moment before flicking it aside and turning back towards Jesse. He was also taking in the destroyed car, although he was focusing on the graffiti across the walls and bits of discarded furniture, all of it a clear sign of who had been through. Out of the corner of her eye, MT could see Alan Dracula trying to eat another playing card.

“No, uh,” Jesse said finally, coughing a second as he tried to find his words, “I uh, I haven’t actually been to this car before,” he continued, walking over to a hastily sprayed A on one of the walls. When he ran a finger over it, the paint still smudged. “No, this is new.”

Immediately MT felt her hackles raise, giving another look around the car for any signs of still present threats. It seemed completely empty though, both of the Apex and any denizens that might have been here beforehand. She wasn’t sure what to think of that. Honestly, she didn’t really want to think about what that might mean.

“It’s too small for them to still be hiding around here,” she said after a moment. Jesse nodded, pulling his hand away from the graffiti.

“The harpoon packs let us- er, let the Apex skip cars. They must’ve gone over us, hit this car, and then gone back. We’re probably safe, it doesn't look like there's anything left here for them to come back for,” he said, and MT frowned even harder at that despite his reassurance. Safe wasn’t something that applied to her. “AD bud, don’t eat that,” Jesse muttered, going over and trying to take the card away from Alan Dracula. MT ignored the struggle that quickly started to form between those two, turning and making a beeline straight for the exit.

“Either way, we should get moving as fast as possible,” she said, moving to twist the handle.

Which didn’t budge.

“Ugh, come on,” she grumbled, tugging harder, even though she already had a pretty good idea that it was hopeless. The doors here don’t just happen to stick sometimes. Throwing her hands down, MT let out a long sigh.

“It locked?” Jesse asked, not sounding too surprised. MT crossed her arms, an irritated frown on her face as she turned back towards the other two. She paused when she actually saw them, her annoyance broken by momentary confusion. Jesse at some point had ended up on the ground, one of his arms held up as high as possible with a half eaten playing card in it. Alan Dracula seemed to have transformed into a large rug or blanket or something, covering most of Jesse to keep him down as his mouth tried to reach the card.

“What are you two doing?” she asked, a crack of laughter breaking through her voice. Jesse barely glanced over at her before having to quickly move his hand out of Alan Dracula’s reach again.

“He keeps eating the cards!” Jesse said, and as if to prove his point Alan Dracula’s head shot forward just in time to grab the remaining card out of his hand. “No! You’ll get ink poisoning!”

MT was pretty sure Alan couldn’t actually get ink poisoning, considering he was a magic deer. Even still, she whistled at the deer, pulling out a handful of grass from her pocket. That got his attention, the deer sliding off of Jesse and across the room like some sort of strange flatworm, quickly taking the grass from her.

Jesse had gotten to his feet at this point, dusting himself off before coming to join them.

“So, how do we get out of here?” Jesse asked, looking over at the locked door. MT’s frown quickly returned, looking over the destroyed car again.

“Well, I’m guessing we probably would have had to win a card game to unlock the door, but your buddies ruined that one,” she grumbled. Jesse’s shoulders slumped at that, guilt quickly clouding his features. MT watched as he reached down, picking up a torn card.

“We could still do it. There’s two of us, that’s enough to play a game, right? I’m sure we could find a full deck here if we gathered up enough cards,” he said, and MT paused at that, thinking it over. It was their best shot.

“Yeah alright, let’s try it,” she said with a shrug, starting to quickly pick up as many playing cards as she could. Jesse followed suit, although it wasn’t long before she heard him arguing with Alan Dracula again, grabbing more cards from the deer than he picked up off the ground. She rolled her eyes, but turned so that she was facing away and no one could see the smile on her face.

“So,” MT said after some time. She’d picked up a lot of cards, but at least half of those were aces. She got the feeling that the denizens who used to run this car weren’t exactly above cheating. “This is what you did for fun huh? Just go around trashing cars?” she asked, because honestly it was… weird. The more she got to know Jesse, the stranger it was that he’d been a part of this group.

“I dunno. I guess so,” he muttered, snatching up another card before Alan Dracula could eat it. MT frowned, turning towards him skeptically at that.

“You did find it fun then? Because I’m gonna be honest, that really doesn’t seem like you,” she said. Jesse sighed, seeming to double down on his focus for cards and avoiding looking over at her as he answered.

“It’s not. It wasn’t fun, okay? I mean, I guess it kinda was at first? Before things started... escalating,” he said, and MT raised an eyebrow at that.

“Oh yeah?” she pressed, Jesse nodding.

“Mostly I just liked exploring the train. It wasn’t all bad, it wasn’t like they jumped straight to murder. The first raid I went on wasn’t- it didn’t have any denizens in it. It was this really cool car that looked all futuristic and shiny. Everything was made of glass and there were all these floating shapes and junk. There was no one there though, and Grace and Simon just kind of gave me a bat and told me to go to town? It- it wasn’t hurting anybody, so we just… went around smashing mirrors. It didn’t seem bad, not until later.”

MT was suddenly very glad Jesse wasn’t looking at her, because it seemed like she’d forgotten how to breathe.

That wasn’t-

There was no way-

“How did you get out?”

The question spilled from them before she could really think about it, and her voice sounded… MT didn’t know what that was. It clearly caught Jesse’s attention though, because he stopped picking up cards and turned back towards her. She had no idea what her face looked like, but Jesse suddenly looked confused and concerned as he spoke.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t there when they opened the door. If there was a puzzle I just assumed Grace or Simon figured it out,” he said, his voice slow as he looked her over. “MT, are you okay?” he asked, and it was only then that MT realized she’d dropped all the cards she’d been holding at some point during his story, and they were just scattered around her feet now.

She wanted to nod. Of course she was fine. She didn’t care about that place. Good riddance! Hell if she had a bat at the time she might have done the same thing. If anything they had done her a favor. It was fine. She was fine.

“MT?” Jesse asked again, sounding even more concerned, taking a hesitant step towards her. That one step was enough to push her over the edge she’d been teetering on.

“You raided the chrome car?!” she blurted out, because that was really the thing her mind just couldn’t get past. They raided the chrome car. They destroyed it. Took bats and hammers and who knows what else and destroyed every reflective surface they could find. Didn’t even notice their reflections in the glass.

Jesse paused, freezing up at the accusation. That confusion was still all over his face, because of course it was. She hadn’t told him anything, he didn’t know that car was important. Was it important? She didn’t- she shouldn’t care.

“You know that car?” he asked, and she saw the moment his eyes widened, as if only just now noticing the shine of her skin. “Oh- oh no. No, no, no, shit, that was your car?”

MT didn’t answer the question, but she was pretty sure her face said everything.

“MT, I’m- I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” he said, making his way over to her. When Jesse reached for her she didn’t know if he was trying to hug her or put a hand on her shoulder or what but she didn’t let him, immediately shoving him back hard.

“You destroyed my car?!” she shouted, her body shaking. Jesse stumbled, nearly tripping over a broken table and quickly dropping all the cards in his hands.

“I didn’t know it was important! There- there wasn’t anyone there!” he insisted, but MT just shook her head.

“Yes there was!”

“What?” Jesse asked, confusion and horror lacing his voice.

“I can guarantee you there was someone there. A lot of people. You just didn’t notice because- because of course you didn’t notice! No one notices! No one cares!” MT wasn’t sure when tears had started to form in her eyes, but it was getting really hard to hold them back now. Her hands were in fists and they were shaking, and she didn’t- she didn’t even know why she was acting this way.

“I’m sorry,” Jesse repeated, seeming at a loss for what else to say. Honestly, MT didn’t know either, dropping to her knees and trying fruitlessly to scrub away the tears that kept breaking free. Alan Dracula curled around her, and she barely noticed when Jesse sunk down across from her as well. “I’m sorry,” he said again, voice shaking. “I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn’t- I didn’t mean it.”

MT wanted to say something. She still didn’t know why she was even crying. Growling in frustration, she grabbed the nearest solid item she could, a table leg, and chucked it as far as possible just to get some of the pent up frustration out, hearing it crash with a loud snap into the wall. Jesse flinched, looking very much like someone who wanted to run and hide. Too bad for him, they were stuck in this stupid car until they could play a stupid card game.

“I’m-” he started to repeat, but MT cut him off.

“Just shut up! I get it! You’re sorry! I don’t care!” she snapped, honestly wishing she could go hide somewhere about now as well. Jesse shrunk back at her shouting, somehow managing to look even more downtrodden than he already did, which was impressive. She almost felt bad, but- but why should she? Maybe if those assholes actually saw someone hurt by what they were doing they would care.

But Jesse did seem to care, and why the fuck was she hurt by this? It shouldn’t matter.

“I… I thought you didn’t like your car,” Jesse said after some time, as if reading her mind.  His voice was timid, clearly worried about saying the wrong thing and making her even more upset. MT shook her head, tightening her arms around Alan Dracula.

“I don’t! I hated it there,” she insisted, because she did. Jesse was playing nervously with a card now, bending and folding it until it was surely unusable.

“But… but it was still your home,” he said quietly, and MT immediately shook her head.

“It was a prison! I would’ve destroyed it myself if I had the chance!” she insisted. It was true. She never wanted to go back to the mirror world again, the place held nothing but suffocating torment for her. There wasn’t a single thing she could look back on fondly now that she was free.

And she was only free because the chrome car existed. Because it gave her a chance to break free, to talk to Tulip and figure out a way to escape.

“It was still important to you though,” Jesse said after a moment, and when MT looked up at him again finally it was- she couldn’t argue with that.

“Yeah,” she muttered, pulling her knees up to her chest and letting her chin rest on them. “I fucking hated it. But it was- I wouldn’t be here without it, so I can’t- I don’t know. I can’t believe it’s gone,” she continued, her voice quiet. That was it. The first place where she got to- to move on her own. To speak. To make a decision by herself. It was all just a pile of broken glass now. The mirror world would still exist, the flecs would still be coming for her if she messed up, but the chrome car was gone. There wouldn’t be any chances for another reflection like her to escape.

No more slivers sneaking through the cracks.

“I’m-'' Jesse started to say, cutting himself off when MT shot a nasty glare at him. She could see him take a moment to rethink his words before speaking again. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked finally, and MT just shrugged.

“No. It’s fine,” she said, but Jesse quickly shook his head.

“It’s obviously not fine! I just… look, I understand if you don’t want to help me anymore,” he said, and MT froze at that.

“What?”

“If- if you want to split up after we get out of this car, I get it. I know what I’m supposed to be doing with the numbers now, so it’s- you really don’t owe me anything, especially now! It doesn’t matter what I mean to do, because I just keep hurting people. So, if you don’t want to be friends anymore, I understand,” he explained. MT wasn’t sure what to say to that, and before they could think of something the light on Jesse’s hand started to glow brighter once again.

The numbers spent a long moment shifting down, the both of them staring as it finally settled on 62. A little over 20 down. A big jump. Despite that Jesse didn’t look happy in any way, actually appearing almost appalled as he looked at the number on his hand.

“Really? And now we’re using hurting you to make progress on this stupid- stupid number quest!” he snapped, MT blinking in surprise at that. She didn’t expect him to even think about that, let alone be upset by it. "I really can't blame you for hating me now."

There was a long moment where MT didn’t respond, because she didn’t know how to. If this had happened a few weeks earlier, she would have taken the chance to split off with just her and Alan Dracula without a second thought. It was still tempting, because Jesse didn’t know the full story. She still hadn’t told him, and so if anything happened it would be- it could break bad. Traveling on her own was the safest.

MT was pretty sure she didn’t actually like being alone though. She was pretty sure there was a part of her that was having fun, traveling around with Jesse.

He had the chance to abandon her, and he didn’t.

He thought she’d been tricking him, but he listened as she explained.

He thought she hated him, but he still went out of his way to save her.

“I still want to be friends,” MT said finally, Jesse’s head shooting up in surprise at that.

“What?” he asked, clearly not expecting that answer.

“I still want us to be friends. If that’s alright with you,” she repeated, running her fingers through Alan Dracula’s fur. Jesse still seemed taken aback by that, his head tilting to the side in obvious confusion.

“You’re not mad at me?” he asked, and MT shrugged heavily at that.

“It’s complicated. I’m- I’m definitely mad. I think you’re an idiot for getting caught up with those fucking apex assholes, and I'm pissed that you apparently had fun while destroying my car,” she snapped, Jesse shrinking in on himself again. MT sighed as she continued, letting her head fall back against the deer curled around her. “But you were obviously tricked. It doesn’t excuse it, but I don’t think you’re a bad person. I… don’t think you would have done it, if you knew what was going on,” she finished. Jesse looked back up at her for a moment, before his eyes were downcast again.

“You don’t know that for sure though,” he said, which honestly wasn’t the answer MT was expecting.

“Maybe not,” she said, because that was true. Still, “but it’s not like I’ve given you any reason to trust me either. You don’t know anything about me,” she added, getting a frown from Jesse.

“That’s not true,” he argued, and MT raised an eyebrow at that.

“Oh yeah? What do you know about me then? Really?” she pressed, and sure, she’d told him some things here and there. Nothing major though, nothing that would be able to build some actual trust. Nothing about the fact that she was on the run, that there were people after her, dangerous people who would kill her the second they got the chance.

“I know you’re a good person,” Jesse said, with such conviction that it surprised her.

“No you don’t,” she argued, because there was no way he could be so sure about that.

“Yes I do.”

“How do you know that?” she pressed, feeling a bit at a loss. She had no idea how she would have managed to convince him of that when all she’d ever done was be mean to him. She wasn’t good at the whole nice thing, at dealing with other people’s feelings. She was barely starting to figure out how to deal with her own, having nothing but being able to copy someone else for so long.

“Because you saved me,” he said simply, and MT actually scoffed at that.

“That was nothing,” she insisted, because it really wasn’t. She was mostly trying to save her own skin, she just grabbed him because he was there and it felt like kind of an asshole move to leave him.

“You could have left me afterwards too, but you’ve stuck by me and explained how the numbers worked and don’t get mad when I’m being annoying. You didn’t have to do any of that,” Jesse continued. MT rolled her eyes, but some of the fight and the tangled knot of twisted up raw emotions were starting to unwind, bit by bit.

“I already told you, I just owed you for the save with the Apex,” she still argued.

“I guess we’re on a clean slate now then? No one owes anyone anything after this,” he said, and MT couldn’t argue with that. Jesse started picking up some of the cards they had scattered around them, and she had honestly forgotten that they still needed to find a way out of this dumb car.

“Yeah, I guess so,” MT said, watching as Jesse shuffled up the cards and started dealing out two hands. “What are we playing?” she asked, picking up the hand and inspecting the cards. Not that she could really make heads or tails with them, if she was being honest.

“Poker,” Jesse said, and she couldn’t help but frown a little at that.

“I don’t know how to play that,” she admitted. Tulip wasn’t exactly into cards, so MT really didn’t know how to play most games. She knew solitaire, and uno and go fish, but that was about it.

“Me neither,” Jesse said, not seeming bothered by this oversight in the slightest. With a flourish he put his cards down, and MT decided to just do the same. If either of them actually had any hands, she had absolutely no way of knowing. Jesse took a long moment to inspect the two sets of cards, before leaning back confidently.

“You win,” he announced, and MT raised an eyebrow at that.

“Oh yeah? How you figure?” she asked.

“You’ve got more red cards,” he said, and MT immediately frowned at that, looking back down at the cards again. It was true, she had more red cards and he had more black ones, but that wasn’t-

“That’s not how poker works, you dork,” she insisted, and Jesse just shrugged.

“It’s how this version works!” he declared, and as if on cue MT heard a click, and when she looked over at the door the handle moved on its own, unlocking.

“This feels like cheating,” she said, and Jesse just shrugged, pushing himself up off the floor.

“Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve cheated our way out of a car,” he said, which was true. MT slowly pulled herself up as well, letting out a deep sigh as she looked around the destroyed car. She guessed it was far, it was pretty clear that the denizens that had been here used to cheat a lot too, so that was probably a part of the puzzle, or something.

MT started walking towards the door, but it didn’t take long to notice that Jesse wasn’t following. When she turned back towards him, there was a conflicted look on his face.

“We should get going, in case the Apex decides to come back,” she said, and Jesse quickly nodded.

“I know, I just…” he started, clutching at his arm and avoiding her eyes. “I know you don’t want to just hear me say sorry again, so I’m not going to. Even still, I don’t know how, but I promise I’m going to make it up to you. For what I did to your train car,” he said.

There was a moment where MT wasn’t sure what to say to that. Slowly though, she nodded.

“Alright. I’m sure you’ll think of something before your number gets to zero,” she said, and Jesse smiled the slightest bit at that.

“Right,” he said, obviously still seeming the slightest bit shaken by all of this, but MT was kind of in the same place so she couldn't exactly blame him. “Let’s get out of here already then. Come on Alan Dra- AD no! Spit those out!” Jesse shouted, trying to grab several playing cards from Alan Dracula again. The deer’s neck immediately elongated, growing up much higher than Jesse could reach. “That’s not good for you! You’re gonna get paper cuts on your tongue!”

MT burst out laughing, doubling over and holding her stomach. Grinning, she picked up a large handful of cards, having to take a moment to pull herself together to actually whistle.

“Come on buddy!” she called, waving the cards around and walking backwards towards the door. Immediately Alan Dracula started following her, a look of horror falling over Jesse’s face.

“MT! Don’t encourage him!” he called as he ran after them. Every so often MT would throw a card for the deer to catch, just to watch Jesse’s reaction. “He’s gonna get sick!” he insisted, and MT rolled her eyes.

“It’s fine, it’s just paper,” she argued, throwing another card at the deer as she went through the door.

“It’s not food,” Jesse said, and MT still had a few more cards left in her hand as they walked out onto the gangplank. An idea came to her then, and she shot an absolutely wicked grin over in Jesse’s direction as she held up one of the cards. “What are you-” he started to ask, but she didn’t give him time to finish before shoving the entire thing into her mouth.

“Ack! No! Give me those!” Jesse shouted, trying to grab the remaining cards from her. MT just laughed, starting to run across to the other door, shoving another card in her mouth as she did.

It was stupid, and maybe she should still be mad. She probably would be mad again later.

Really though, watching as Jesse was almost in tears at the two of them eating playing cards, it was hard to be mad. It was even harder to believe he was a bad person.

Despite everything, MT felt like maybe she could actually trust him.

Chapter Text

Things had been weird since they passed through that raided car.

It wasn’t like Jesse could blame MT for that. Of course things were weird, he was lucky that she hadn’t decided to up and leave him immediately after she found out what he'd done. He would have deserved it if she did. He kind of didn’t understand why she hadn’t.

She’d said she hated the place, that there wasn’t any ‘home’ she had that she would ever miss. Still, the news that it had been destroyed (that the Apex, that he had destroyed it) obviously hit hard.

He'd never seen her like that before. She couldn't stop crying and it was obvious that she was so angry and he deserved every bit of it, even if he hadn't realized what he was doing at the time. There was nothing he could do but apologize, and it was clear that wasn't enough. That wasn't going to fix her car. He couldn't fix this.

They hadn’t talked about it since then. Maybe it was in his head, but it felt like the tension from it was still hanging above them, unspoken and choking and making everything just a little off. He couldn’t do anything, say anything without second guessing himself, some of the ease MT had started to gain seemed to have closed up again as well. Whether it was because she didn’t trust him anymore or she could just tell he was acting weird, he wasn’t entirely sure.

Even Alan Dracula seemed to be able to sense that something was off. It was hard to tell with the deer, but he’d been spending a lot of time shrunk down real small and running around between them. Maybe that didn't actually mean anything, but it felt like it did.

He should say something. Jesse knew he should say something, because he almost had last night. They’d been taking a break in a car that seemed to be an entire forest with trees and bushes and little animals, but everything was made entirely out of cardboard. It was all still alive and moving and growing, but out of boxes with little faces that seemed almost drawn on. Laying on his back and looking up at the sky, it almost looked like someone had poked a bunch of holes in the top of a box, rather than proper stars.

They couldn’t start a fire, because they both agreed that would end very badly in a forest made entirely of cardboard, so it was dark as Jesse lay on his back and stared up at the little pinhole stars. It was also quiet. The only sounds were from cardboard critters skittering around in the underbrush and Alan Dracula seeming a bit confused as he tried to eat some of the ‘grass.' The fact that it wasn’t real grass didn’t seem to be stopping him at all though.

For a brief moment Jesse thought he could do it. He knew he should say something, and he’d been building up his courage to do just that. It’d been over three days since MT had found out about his raid on her car, and the uncomfortable air was driving him crazy.

He just had to be honest.

Hey MT? You weren’t the first person I hurt. I think that’s why I’m on this train in the first place. I wasn’t a good person, even before the Apex. I hurt my little brother and I never even got to apologize, how messed up is that? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just didn’t want you to hate me, even if I deserve it.

If he could just start saying it all out loud…

“Hey Jesse?” MT said, cutting off his thoughts before he could work up the nerves to start speaking.

“Huh? Yeah, what’s up?” he asked, trying not to sound as startled as he felt. He wasn’t sure if he actually managed all that well though.

“Nothing, I was just wondering if… I don’t know, is everything okay? You’ve been quiet, and you’re usually loud and obnoxious,” she said, and it was hard to really place her tone. If Jesse didn’t know any better, he’d say she almost sounded worried.

No, everything isn’t okay. I need to tell you something.

“Yeah, everything’s fine! I guess I’m just kind of tired,” he said, keeping his tone light.

“You sure?” MT pressed, and he nodded before turning his eyes back up towards the sky.

“Of course. Hey, do you think these are stars or just holes in a box? I genuinely can’t tell,” he said, changing the subject.

“Knowing this train, definitely holes. Although I have no idea if that means there’s something outside of this box, probably not but…”

Jesse was trying to pay attention as MT spoke, but it was hard to with the lump in his chest. He was pretty sure he managed to mask it well enough, smiling as he nodded along and made the occasional comment, but his mind was elsewhere.

He was such a goddamn coward.

MT hadn’t been looking at him, already lying down as well with her attention now on the sky, so she didn’t see when his number started to glow. Didn’t see as it raised from the 62 he’d managed to whittle it down to up to 71.

He didn’t say anything. His hands had been in the pockets of his jacket all day today, at least when he could excuse it.

Coward, coward, coward.

“Well, that was a weird one,” MT said as they left the previous car, the door closing behind them with a familiar click. Jesse nodded in agreement, picking a stray noodle off of the arm of his jacket. Normally he would have made some comment, but instead he was quiet as he made his way across the gangplank to the next car, MT and Alan Dracula following behind.

Opening the door, the inside of this one was huge, another sprawling world laid out in front of them. Dozens of peaceful looking little streams pooled down from hillsides, all leading down to a pier off in the distance, where Jesse could see a few boats tied up. There were no signs of the door, but he felt like it was a pretty safe bet to say one got there by boat.

“Cool,” he muttered under his breath, starting to move forward into the car. Alan Dracula had already made his way inside, starting to chow down on some of the tall grass that grew on the sprawling hills around them. Jesse didn’t get more than a few steps inside before he was stopped in his tracks.

“Stop!”

Turning back around, MT was standing in the doorway of the car still. She was frozen in place, metal skin and absolute lack of movement reminding Jesse of a statue. It seemed appropriate, considering the car they had met in.

She also looked absolutely terrified.

“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked, staying exactly where he was as he looked around the train car. Alan Dracula stopped as well, although he was still chewing as he glanced over at MT. Looking past the deer, Jesse didn’t see anything that was immediately dangerous, or even anything that would suggest there was something malicious about this car. Honestly, he couldn’t tell anything different about it from the dozens of others they’d walked through.

There had to be something though, because MT looked like she was ready to turn tail and run right back to the last car.

“I… I can’t go in there,” MT said after a moment, which really didn’t answer the question. If anything Jesse was even more confused.

“Why not? This place seems nice,” he said, because he was genuinely confused.

“I just can’t, okay?” MT snapped, although the flash of anger didn’t last long, deflating as her shoulders slumped and she looked nervously over the car again. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she muttered finally.

Jesse’s first instinct was to argue. If he didn’t know what was going on then he couldn’t help. If something in this car was dangerous, he wanted to know. He wanted to make sure MT was safe, he wanted to help her.

He shoved the balled up fist deeper into his jacket pocket and nodded.

“I get it,” he said, because he did. He definitely knew what it was like to not want to talk about something. “I don’t know how we’re supposed to get through the car if you can’t come inside though,” he added, because that was definitely a problem. Jesse watched as MT nervously inspected the car again, and he was pretty sure her eyes were following something in particular, but it was hard to tell what. After a moment though they landed on him again, and he could see when they seemed to light up with an idea.

“Oh, what about the harpoon pack? You said you used it to get around cars right? Let’s just skip this one,” MT suggested, and Jesse couldn’t help but frown as he pulled on the straps of his pack. It was a good idea in theory, but…

“I’m not really sure if that’ll work,” he said, immediately receiving a frown from the chrome denizen at that.

“Why not?” she asked, and Jesse couldn’t help but chew his lip slightly as he tried to think of the best way to phrase his concern. There honestly did not seem to be a good way.

“Um, I was always told it was rude to talk about a girl’s weight?” he managed after a moment. Immediately MT was glaring at him, which was fair.

“Come here,” she said, no room for argument in her voice, and for a moment Jesse started to walk towards her. Then he stopped as he realized what was happening, taking a step back to get out of her reach.

“No, you’re gonna flick me,” he said, MT somehow managing to look even more annoyed, crossing her arms and near about pouting at him.

“You don’t know that,” she argued.

“Are you going to flick me then?” he asked. There was a long moment where MT didn’t say anything, just setting him with that same glare.

“Maybe…” she said finally. It might have been enough to get Jesse to laugh, if things weren’t still all weird and tense.

“Then I’m not going over there,” he said, before sighing and trying to get back to the matter at hand. “Look, it’s just that you’re solid metal and these things aren’t exactly super safe to start off with? I don’t want you to get hurt, there has to be some other way through this car that won’t put you in danger,” Jesse tried. There was a moment where MT looked conflicted, and even though he couldn’t tell what she was thinking Jesse was pretty sure he could pinpoint when she made a decision. Taking a deep breath, there was a look of determination on her face as she met his eyes.

“Can I trust you?” she asked, the question throwing Jesse off. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting.

“What?” he asked right back.

“Can I trust you? If I tell you what’s bad about this car, you promise you won’t use it against me?” MT asked again, and Jesse wanted to say yes. Of course she could trust him, they were friends, he wanted to keep her safe, not hurt her. He never wanted to hurt anyone again.

His fist clenched tighter in his pocket, not even having to look at the number on his palm for it to remind him that no one could trust him. He hurt the people he cared about, he was too much of a coward to tell them the truth, he was just… just…

“Jesse?” MT asked, and he realized he’d been quiet for far too long.

“Yeah, I mean… I don’t know…” he muttered, digging his toes into the ground. That clearly wasn’t the answer MT wanted, an almost incredulous look on her face.

“You don’t know?” she asked, and Jesse couldn’t help but wince at that. He couldn’t blame her for being mad.

“I don’t want you to get hurt, I promise! It’s just… I don’t exactly have the best track record with this kind of stuff. I don’t… I don’t know if you should trust me,” he said, and it was the most honest he’d been in a while. It wasn’t everything he knew he should say, it wasn’t even close, but he told himself it was a start.

There was a long moment where MT didn’t say anything, and Jesse couldn’t blame her for that. He also couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eyes, continuing to stare at the ground as he dug a small hole in the soft dirt with his shoe. It would hurt, but maybe MT would make the right choice already and just leave him. That way he’d never have to tell her the truth, she wouldn’t know he’d fucked up even more than she already did, and he wouldn’t have to live through hurting her again.

“Alright,” MT said after a moment, an air of finality to her voice. “I trust you.”

“What?”

Jesse’s head immediately shot up at that, not expecting that answer in the slightest. It didn’t make any sense. “But- but I just said-” he started, and MT nodded.

“I know, but it’s…” MT sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she seemed to get her thoughts in order. “It’s obvious you’re not a bad person. The fact that you’re honest enough to admit you’re scared you might mess up is just proof of that. I respect that a lot more than someone blindly assuring me that I can definitely trust them,” she explained, and there was a moment where Jesse couldn’t speak.

He should be happy about this. They were still friends, even after what he did. MT actually trusted him. Despite that it felt like a solid lead weight had dropped into his stomach, and it was hard to keep his hand from shaking.

You’re honest enough…

“Oh,” he finally managed, and it was kind of hard to tell what he sounded like at that moment. It seemed to be enough for MT though, who took another deep breath to steel herself before starting to explain.

“It’s the water. It’s… complicated, but I can’t go near water. Reflections are… dangerous for me,” she said, sounding nervous to even tell him that much. Jesse had no idea what she meant exactly by dangerous or what would happen if she got too close, but it was clear this was a big deal. That telling him this was a big act of trust.

Trust he didn’t deserve…

“That makes this car pretty difficult, yeah,” he said after a moment, knowing he was only stating the obvious but feeling like he needed to say something. MT nodded, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Yeah, so I’m kinda stumped here. Maybe we could, I don’t know, figure out something together though?” she asked, and reluctantly Jesse nodded. He didn’t deserve any of this, but he did want to help. 

“Is it just going near it, or going in it? Are… are you afraid of rusting?” he asked, and this time MT came far enough into the car to flick him on the forehead. Which he definitely deserved. There weren’t any of the streams right near the door, so it seemed pretty safe, at least for now.

“I’m not afraid of rusting!” she huffed, which was fair. MT seemed to hesitate some before continuing. “It’s getting close, like I said, it’s the reflection. Basically I can’t… I can’t let it see me,” she explained. Jesse didn’t say anything for a moment as he tried to think of how to get around that. Questions kept popping into his head as he did. Why was it so dangerous? MT had been from a car full of mirrors, that had to be connected somehow. What would happen if the water did see her? Would it hurt just her, or them too?

He didn’t voice any of those questions though. He was already abusing MT's trust, keeping more secrets from her while she was actually starting to open up. He didn’t need to exacerbate that even more.

So instead he tried to think of some sort of solution, looking between MT and the car. There was no sign of the door, and the rivers snaked all through the landscape. He was pretty sure he could see a path that could get them to the docs without having to actually cross any of the streams, but getting onto a boat would be a problem. They couldn’t let the water see her…

An idea came to Jesse then, and he quickly started taking off his jacket.

“What are you doing?” MT asked, clearly confused.

“If the water can’t see you, then what if we just cover you up? You can wear my jacket, and I can run down to those docks and see if they have anything we can use to cover your face,” he suggested, and he could see MT hesitate some at that, thinking the idea over.

“I’m not really sure if that’ll work, but I guess it’s better than nothing,” she said finally, taking the jacket when Jesse held it out for her.

“Awesome, just stay here with Alan Dracula then, I’ll be right back,” he said. MT nodded, and with that Jesse started down towards the docks. Hopefully this would work and they could get through his car fast. He didn’t want MT to be in danger any longer than necessary.

He didn’t want to give himself too much time to mess up again.

—

MT sat in the grass with Alan Dracula, making sure to stay far away from any of the innocent looking streams that cut through the landscape of this car. She just had to wait for Jesse to get back, hopefully with something that could let them all get through to the next door without trouble.

She should have known that her luck wasn’t going to hold out forever. She knew she’d been pushing it, and was honestly surprised that she hadn't messed up yet, that Jesse hadn’t suspected anything before this. Or maybe he had and was just bad at showing it. Honestly, it was hard to tell what was with him lately.

Things had been weird since she found out about the raid on the chrome car. Of course they were, she should probably be a lot more mad about the whole thing than she was.

MT wasn’t sure how she felt about the whole thing, if she was being honest. Maybe it didn’t matter.

Because she decided to trust Jesse. She hadn’t told him everything of course, he still didn’t know about the flecks, but he knew that reflections were dangerous for her now. That was more than she'd been willing to tell anyone else, other than Alan Dracula. He could use that against her if he wanted to, and there wasn’t anything she could do to prevent that, other than turn and leave now while he was gone.

MT was still waiting on the hill when Jesse came back from the docks. Alan Dracula’s head perked up at his return, and it looked like he’d actually gotten something. A frown fell over MT’s face though when she saw exactly what it was though.

“Really?” she asked, looking at the burlap sack in his hand. Jesse smiled sheepishly as he nodded, holding it out for her.

“I figured you’d want to get through this car fast, it was the first thing I found. If you want me to go back and like, look for a nice scarf or something I can,” he said, but MT quickly shook her head. It didn’t matter to her, as long as they got through the car, so she snatched up the bag. Before putting it over her head though she paused.

“How am I supposed to get around? I won't be able to see through this,” she asked, Jesse seeming to pause for a moment as he thought it over.

“I’ll guide you. I promise I’ll keep you as far away from the water as I can,” he said, holding out a hand for her to take. MT paused, but it kind of seemed like the only option, other than riding Alan Dracula, but MT was pretty sure the deer wouldn’t let them try that. She could see Jesse watching for her answer nervously for a moment, until she eventually sighed and nodded.

“Fine, I guess that works,” she said, starting to reach for his hand. Before she actually grabbed it though she paused, almost doing a double take as she looked at the glowing green number on his palm.

When did it go up?

There was a brief moment where MT almost asked it out loud, and she could see the sudden panic in Jesse’s eyes as he must’ve realized she’d seen.

Instead of saying anything MT took the hand, pulling the sack over her head afterwards without a word. Maybe it was a dumb move, but she would worry about that once they were out of this car.

“Alright then, lead the way,” she said, and that seemed to jolt Jesse out of whatever confusion he’d been in. She felt his hand tug on her, starting to carefully guide her down the hill.

“Right, let’s go,” he said.

The walk was fucking excruciating. The docks hadn’t seemed far away, but it felt like it was taking forever. When she finally broke and asked Jesse what the hell was taking them so long, he explained that he was taking a long way that made it so they didn’t have to jump over any water. It made sense, it was certainly safer, but that didn’t make this whole thing feel any less like torture.

Reaching the docs somehow managed to be even worse. There were people around, MT could tell they were in a crowd and she did not appreciate being completely blind to what everyone else was doing. At one point she’d managed to get her other hand on Alan Dracula, and it helped some but it didn’t change the fact that she didn’t have any goddamn control. As it turned out, she really did not like not having any control.

She could barely process what was happening as Jesse managed to convince one of the dock workers to take them on their ship to the door. Could only nod along as Jesse made up some excuse about her being afraid of water to explain the bag situation. She wanted to insist that she wasn’t afraid, but that would ruin the ruse.

And she was also pretty damn terrified, if she wanted to be honest.

“Okay, this is gonna be the worst part,” Jesse said, and MT could assume they were at a boat now. “It’s not a far step. I’ll go in first and try to guide you down I guess?” he added, not sounding as certain as MT would have liked. Still, there wasn’t much she could do but nod.

“If I fall in the water I’m taking you with me,” she managed to mutter, getting a nervous chuckle from Jesse in response. She stayed where she was on the docks as she felt him step down into the boat. From how much lower his hand was now, it was a pretty steep drop.

“Okay, you’re right at the edge of the dock, just go slow I guess,” Jesse said, and MT nodded, trying not to look as scared as she felt. She was definitely holding his hand tighter than was necessary, she was a little surprised he hadn’t complained about the pain or anything yet.

Taking a deep breath, MT started to step forward, not wanting to just stand there for any longer than necessary. She felt Jesse grab her other hand almost immediately, helping to steady her. She knew the drop would be far, but it still somehow managed to be farther than she expected, reaching a point where she was sure she would come in contact with solid ground only to find nothing.

There was a brief second where MT felt herself start to fall forward, stumbling for a second before her foot touched the deck of the small ship. She moved quickly to get fully into the boat at that.

Maybe a little too quick, the whole thing swaying as soon as she was inside, almost sending her flying back if it wasn’t for Jesse still holding onto her. As soon as the rocking settled MT let go of one of his hands before sitting down on the deck and curling up some. She didn’t know what the boat looked like, but hopefully she was shielded from the water down here.

“Oh no, we’re fine! She’s just really afraid of water! We can start off to the door whenever you want,” MT heard Jesse say to one of the boat workers, and then there was another shift of the boat as he sat down next to her.

“Where’s Alan Dracula?” MT asked after a moment, having had to let go of the deer to climb into the boat.

“He’s right here,” Jesse said, which didn’t actually tell her anything, but then she felt something get placed into her lap. It was furry, but smaller than Alan usually was. Still, she could feel his antlers, and he seemed perfectly content to sit in her lap. “They said it’ll be a few hours until we reach the door, are you gonna be okay until then?” he asked, and MT nodded.

“Can we see the water from here?” she asked, because she really didn’t know how well a disguise would work. It seemed to be holding them off for brief flashes, but she doubted it would do much good if she had any prolonged exposure.

“No, the walls of the boat are too high. Walls? Sides?” he said, and MT rolled her eyes as he tried to figure out the right word. Not that anyone could see with a bag on her head.

“Alright, that should be fine then,” she said, petting the tiny deer in her lap. It wasn’t too long after that MT felt the boat lurch under them, and they were officially set sail. It was quiet for a bit, the only sound the denizens of this car chatting amongst themselves and working the boat. Her and Jesse were both silent, which had been more and more common lately. Honestly, she wasn’t a fan.

“What do the denizens here look like?” she asked suddenly, breaking the silence. She hadn’t been able to see them after all, either too far away at the door, or she had a bag on her head.

“Oh, they’re crab people,” Jesse said, and MT snorted at that.

“Of course they are,” she said, trying to relax. Failing that, trying to at least pretend she was a bit more relaxed. “Do they seem to be in a good mood?” she asked.

“Ya know, not really,” Jesse replied, some amusement obvious in his voice. “I guess long hours working at sea would make anyone a little… tetchy,” he added.

“Just a bit irritated,” she said.

“Downright grumpy!”

MT actually found herself laughing slightly, which wasn’t what she expected to be able to do at all here. She’d loosened her death grip on Jesse’s hand, but she was still holding onto it, not about to completely lose any sense of connection while she couldn't see. The reminder sent her mind back to what she’d seen before putting the bag over her head though. Right.

“Hey Jesse?”

“Yeah?” he asked, actually sounding close to relaxed for once. MT almost felt bad about ruining it.

“Why didn’t you say anything about your number going up?” she asked. They would be on this boat for a few hours and MT just… she needed something else to focus on instead of how terrified she was that someone would realize what was up. That the flecks would show up to kill her again and she’d have nowhere to go, trapped in the middle of the water on a tiny boat.

There was a long moment where Jesse didn’t say anything, and without being able to see him MT had no idea what he was thinking. Finally though he sighed, and when he spoke, the answer wasn’t what she expected.

“I don’t think I’m a very good person.”

Chapter Text

At the very least, MT was distracted from the panic and claustrophobia currently clawing at her chest by the little declaration Jesse had just made.

She wasn’t sure what kind of answer she’d been expecting when she asked about his number. It was obvious that he had hidden the fact that it had gone up, MT wasn’t even sure when exactly it would have risen. Under most situations she would say it was his own business and he didn’t have to tell her anything. She hadn’t told him everything after all, not by a long shot. If they were both keeping secrets it was almost fair, in a way.

There was still something that made MT wonder though. They agreed to work together on this after all. She was honestly trying her best to help here, against her better judgment.

So she asked what was up. MT had figured he had just not wanted to talk about it, whether it was because of shame or because he wasn’t ready to talk about whatever weird issues had gotten him on the train in the first place, she couldn’t say. She wasn’t expecting a blunt assertion that he wasn’t a good person.

Honestly, MT couldn’t help but snort a little, even as she stayed curled up on the bottom of the boat. She was holding Alan Dracula close and keeping Jesse’s jacket wrapped as tight around her as she could. She also hadn’t let go of his hand yet, but she was kind of trying to ignore that for now. Jesse hadn’t pulled away yet either, but that was probably because of how obviously terrified she was. Which wasn’t a state she was thrilled to be seen in, but there was little to do about that now, not until they got out of this damn car.

“You could be a lot worse, trust me,” she said, because it was true. MT hadn’t exactly gotten close to a lot of people in her life, but she had still met a lot of scumbags. Jesse certainly hadn’t made the best decisions on a lot of things, but he wasn’t an asshole. He wasn’t bad.

“You don’t know me,” Jesse mumbled, the words barely audible, but MT still managed to hear it. He’d said that the sides of the boat were high enough that they weren’t visible from the water, but she didn’t quite chance pulling the bag up yet. She kind of wished she could though, so that Jesse could see the frown on her face and the way she slowly raised an eyebrow at that.

“We’ve had this argument before,” she said instead, because they had. “You still haven’t offered any proof that you’re secretly some terrible person, other than the shit I already knew about you with the Apex and all that,” MT continued.

“What about destroying your car?” he asked, the question coming faster than she anticipated, and she should have expected that. She kind of did, but the fact that he hadn’t touched the subject with a six foot pole yet made MT unsure if he would ever bring it up. She had kind of been trying not to think about it either, and after a long moment she sighed.

“You… didn’t know. Plus, I already knew you destroyed train cars, it wasn’t… there wasn’t anything special about my car. No one would see it and think it was a place that should be preserved. Hell, I’m not even sure if it was,” MT said, because in all this time she still didn’t know how to feel about the whole thing. She was pretty sure she was still mad, but she wasn’t mad at Jesse. It was weird.

“You can’t just blame everything on me being ignorant. I- I knew what I was doing was wrong. I’m not as dumb as you think,” Jesse insisted, and MT wasn’t sure why he was deciding to do this now, but she was almost thankful for it. Sure, he was being an idiot and frustrating, but she could focus on that and not the flimsy planks of wood making up the boat and burlap sack on her head being the only things keeping the flecks from spotting her once again.

“Those Apex assholes tricked you. The train’s confusing, it used to be even worse and they obviously managed to convince a whole lot of people. You can’t blame yourself for being another person who fell for their lies,” MT said, actually doing her best to try and assure him. It was true after all, and a part of her wasn’t even sure if the Apex knew they were wrong. She could remember what the train was like when Tulip had gotten on, how little information the passengers got. Of course some people would get the wrong idea.

“You don’t- you aren’t getting it,” Jesse said.

“Then explain it,” MT snapped, because he was right. She didn’t get it, and was kind of tired of running around this argument in circles.

“I knew they were lying!”

MT froze at that, the desperation and panic and shame in Jesse’s voice putting a chill down her spine. Hesitantly she pulled her hand away from his, and she couldn’t see how he reacted to that, but that was probably a good thing. Instead of turning away and shunning him or whatever she assumed he thought she was going to do, MT used the free hand to carefully and cautiously lift up the bag over her head. Not all the way, she was still keeping herself mostly covered. Just enough to peek out at him with one eye, the frown of confusion on her face now visible as well.

“You did?” she asked, and now that she could see Jesse he looked about as pathetic as she imagined. He was curled up right next to her, and the only reason he even seemed able to look in her direction was the surprise at her actually lifting up the sack. MT guessed he overcame that pretty quick, because he averted his eyes again, shoulders hunched up as he stared down at the boat floor.

“I mean… I heard the tape from the conductor. I knew in my gut that what we were doing was wrong, I just… I didn’t want to think about it! So I didn’t! I just ignored everything and went along with it because I was so scared of being alone on this train that I chose to pretend they were right! I could have done the right thing but I was too much of a coward and people got hurt because of it. I thought I had at least managed to keep them from hurting you, but I fucked that up too.”

MT wanted to say something to that. She should say something to that, right? MT had no idea how to even begin to respond though. This wasn’t… she wasn’t good at this sort of thing. She wasn’t a proper denizen, she didn’t have a bunch of sagely advice to give and magically fix everything. She knew how to fight for her survival, but that was about where her smarts ended. The only real thing she could even begin to consider right now was the strong desire she had to start cursing out and fighting the crab denizens who were clearly trying to be subtle about staring at the strange group and whispering amongst themselves. They weren't doing a very good job of it, and if it wasn't for Jesse's breakdown in front of her she probably would have broken and started snapping at them already.

When the silence stretched on for MT’s lack of response Jesse sighed, somehow managing to curl into himself even more.

“It’s the exact same thing that got me on this train in the first place. I’m not growing here. I’m just repeating the same dumb mistakes and hurting more people,” he mumbled, so quiet MT almost couldn’t understand. They did though and well, that didn’t explain everything, but it certainly shed some light on the situation. “I just… I don’t want to hurt anyone else, no matter what. I know it won’t change anything, but I really am sorry.”

Glancing down at her lap, Alan Dracula was still curled up in it, about the same size of a large house cat. Picking him up, the deer didn’t complain or try and fight back as MT reached over and placed him carefully onto Jesse’s head. He somehow hadn’t noticed the movement until the furry stomach was settling on his hair, front legs starting to dangle in front of his face. Immediately a hand went up to keep the animal steady as he turned towards MT with the most perplexed expression she had ever seen.

“Uh… what?”

“You looked like you could use the emotional support deer,” MT said with a shrug, trying to be as casual as possible. Maybe she couldn’t really help with all of this, but being with Alan Dracula had helped her, even if he couldn’t talk. She swore she saw Jesse’s face twitch as if trying to smile at that, but it didn’t quite stick.

“You’re supposed to hate me,” he said instead, and MT leaned back against the side of the boat behind her at that. She’d hooked the burlap sack around on ear, so that only about half her face was visible. So far nothing had jumped out at her, so even though it wasn’t safe, it didn’t seem actively dangerous, at least for now.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she said simply, this time actually managing to earn a disbelieving snort from Jesse.

“You can’t- you can’t just rebel yourself into being friends with me,” he argued, and there was almost a smile there now. It was stupid, but MT really wanted to get him to actually smile. Not because she had promised to help him, not because she was a denizen and was supposed to ‘fix’ him, none of that. Just… because he was her friend.

“I can do whatever I want. That’s sorta my whole thing,” she said, faking an air of confidence that really didn’t exist while stuck on a boat surrounded by water, but it seemed to work. The smallest of smiles was playing at his lips as he raised an eyebrow at her. On top of his head Alan Dracula seemed to have made himself comfortable, his legs dangling down and barely keeping from getting in front of Jesse’s eyes.

“Is it now? I didn’t know that,” he said, and MT nodded, trying to fight down the nerves that wanted to eat her from the inside out.

“Oh yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll tell you all about it once we’re out of this car, but you definitely hit the nail on the head with the whole rebel thing,” she said, and MT actually intended to follow through on that. Once they were out of this car and safe, she would tell him. It wasn’t… she didn’t owe anyone anything, but it would be better if Jesse knew the whole story. Might even be safer, to have someone else who might actually be willing to watch her back, instead of looking for the first chance to turn her in.

“Okay, that tracks,” Jesse said, a fonder tone to his voice than she expected. He still had a slight smile on his face as he reached up, starting to scratch Alan Dracula under his chin. With his hand in the air it was pretty easy to notice the green light grow brighter, the number shifting once again.

It had worked its way up to 71, but as Jesse pulled his hand back down to watch it rapidly lowered, shooting past the previous low of 62, before finally settling on 48.

“Oh, wow,” he muttered, a stunned tone to his voice, which MT couldn’t really blame him for. It was a pretty stark drop after all.

“Look at that, you’re getting pretty good at this,” she said, nudging him with her shoulder some. When she moved the bag hooked around her ear dislodged, the burlap sack falling back down to cover her face again, blinding her sight. Despite that, she could still hear Jesse’s snort of amused laughter clear as anything.

“Thanks, appreciate it,” he said, still trying to bite down his laughter. MT rolled her eyes, but she knew Jesse couldn’t see it.

“Just tell me when we get close to the door. I’m about done with this stupid car,” she said, hesitating before figuring they would need to again for them to be able to leave, and held out her hand. There were a few long seconds that were much more agonizing than they had any right to be where there seemed to be no reaction from Jesse. Finally though, she felt his hand grab onto hers once again, and MT hoped the sigh of relief that escaped her wasn’t noticeable with the bag in the way.

“Yeah, I’d kinda like to just get out of here soon too,” he agreed.

The rest of the boat ride felt like it dragged on for way longer than MT would have liked. They had said from the beginning that it would take a couple of hours, and it certainly seemed like they had followed through on every single minute of that. She would have tried to fall asleep, if the whole situation hadn’t left her way too high-strung to attempt, even with Jesse and Alan Dracula watching her back.

Finally though, she felt the human boy perk up beside her. At some point they had ended up slumped against each other, tired from the long ride on softly rocking waves. She was a little afraid that he had fallen asleep, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

“We’re almost there,” Jesse announced, much to her relief.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I can see another dock up ahead. The door looks like it's right at the end of it,” he explained, and MT let out a deep sigh at that. Finally. Once they were somewhere safe again, and even more importantly alone, she would tell him everything about the flecks.

She was able to guess when they got to the dock, the boat lurching to a stop underneath them. “Whoa boy,” she heard Jesse say next to her, and even though she couldn’t see what had happened she could make a guess.

“Almost lose your hat?” MT asked, unsurprised that Alan Dracula had spent almost the entire ride on his head. Apparently after a bit of sitting up there he had transformed himself into a sort of furry hat with a tail and antlers. Jesse had been so excited about it that MT had lifted up her bag again to take a peak, and the whole thing honestly was kind of adorable.

“It’s okay, I caught him. You stay up there until we’re out of here, okay?” he said, addressing the second part to the deer. Then she felt him start to shift, still thankfully not letting go of her hand. “We’re here now. I’m gonna climb up first, and then I’ll help guide you up, okay? It’s not a long walk to the door after that, but there’s water on both sides of the dock, and it’s not super wide,” he explained.

“Let’s just do it fast, okay?” MT said, wanting to leave this whole thing behind them already. She could assume that Jesse nodded, because after a moment she could feel him start to stand up, the boat shifting under his weight.

“The dock’s kinda high again,” he said, and it made sense. MT had seen the crab denizens while the bag was lifted, and they were definitely a bit taller than she expected. Long spindly legs that probably had no problem getting up and down from their boats. Standing as well, she kept a tight grip on Jesse’s hand as he climbed up first, and yeah, considering the angle it was definitely a bit up there. “Gimme your other hand,” Jesse added after a moment, and MT couldn’t help frowning at that.

“I’m very heavy,” she said bluntly, although she knew he was well aware of that fact.

“I’m just gonna act as a counterweight for you to pull yourself up,” he said, which did make more sense than him trying to lift her wholesale. Nodding, she held her other hand out, Jesse grabbing it again.

“Uh, on the count of three?” MT asked after a moment, not wanting to suddenly start pulling on him and risk them both falling into the water.

“Sounds good,” he agreed. MT took a deep breath, making to steel her nerves before finally starting to count.

“One… two…” she started, Jesse counting in time with her, “thr-”

“Hey!”

It all seemed to happen at once, as soon as Jesse cut off the count with that shout of anger and fear. MT hadn’t felt anyone moving in the boat, but clearly the crabs here were better at maneuvering around on a ship than either of them were. She felt something start to yank the burlap sack off of her head, at the same time Jesse started urgently trying to pull her up. She tore away from the crab denizen behind her, thankfully managing to make it up on the dock, nearly knocking Jesse over in the process.

Jesse, who she could now see, the bag gone.

“Oh no.”

—

Things had been going well. Really well.

Until suddenly, they weren’t.

Jesse hadn’t seen the denizen sneaking up on them. He’d been focusing on the water, and MT, and making sure he kept her from falling in. After everything, he wanted to prove that the choice to trust him wasn’t a bad one. He meant what he said. He was tired of hurting people he cared about, and he wasn’t going to let it happen again.

When he did notice the crab reaching for her, he tried to pull her up out of the way, to shout the denizen off, but they were too quick. Luckily, MT at least seemed to catch on, pulling herself up onto the dock and nearly knocking him over in the process. He managed to keep his footing though, making sure Alan Dracula didn’t get knocked off his head as well.

“Oh no.”

Looking down at the water, for a moment he only saw their reflections, both looking terrified with their hands still clasped together.

Then there was a strange sound, two humanoid looking things with solid white faces suddenly pulling themselves out of the water. Not like they had been underneath it, but almost like they were coming out of the reflection.

“There she is!” the crab said, pulling out a piece of paper that Jesse only got a quick flash of. He couldn’t see much, but it almost looked like a wanted poster.

“Go go go!” MT yelped, not letting go of his hand as she started running for the exit. He didn’t hesitate, running after her, holding onto the Alan Dracula hat with his free hand to make sure the deer didn’t go flying off.

“Freeze criminal!” one of the strange people that had come out of the water shouted after them. Glancing back, they were pulling themselves up onto the dock, one of them throwing a hat onto their head as they came to their feet.

They only paused to open the door, before running full speed ahead across the bridge. Jesse had a lot of questions, but now was definitely not the time to ask them. Bursting into the next car, he could already hear the two pursuers behind them again.

Glancing around when MT threw the door open, he only could see the car for a moment before he was being yanked inside. It was a large enough car that he couldn’t immediately see the next door. There were giant spools of fabric everywhere, draped over stands and chairs and along the ceiling before pooling onto the floor. It would have seemed nice, luxurious almost, but there wasn’t any time to care about that. Instead MT quickly slammed the door shut behind them before running forward.

“Gotta find the door,” MT insisted, and Jesse nodded in agreement. Next to him she flinched as the sound of the train door bursting open came from behind them. Dashing further into the car, Jesse tried to look for any sign of where the next door might be. There was a strange buzzing sound now, which he could assume was coming from those people chasing them.

As they ran MT was knocking down parts of the car, spools of thick fabric falling and crashing around them, which seemed to take even more down with it. Jesse wasn’t sure if it was doing more good making it harder to follow them, or making it easier to tell where they’d been.

“I can’t find the door,” Jesse said, panting heavily as they came to a quick stop, not sure how long they’d been running for. Too long, he was pretty dang athletic, but he could start to feel a crash coming. They needed to get out of here soon.

The buzzing was getting louder, and he could see the panic on MT’s face. He didn’t have time to react before she grabbed his shoulder, pulling them both into a disheveled pile of fabric. It seemed like there were all different types of fabric here, but luckily the one they jumped in seemed thick, a dark blue velvet that blocked out any light.

Jesse was trying his best not to move, frozen in place with one hand holding onto Alan Dracula’s antler, making sure to keep him on his head. His other hand was being slightly crushed by MT, but he couldn’t really complain at the moment. He couldn’t complain about anything, her other hand clamped over his mouth to keep him from making any noise.

The buzzing was getting louder, moving at an unnervingly slow pace. Next to him, he could feel MT downright shaking, and he was trying his best not to breathe too noticeably.

“She’s here, somewhere,” one of the voices growled, sounding much too close. MT’s hand squeezed his even tighter, and he tried to squeeze back in an attempt to comfort her. He wasn’t sure if it actually helped at all though.

There was a loud shout of frustration, the buzzing getting louder as the sound of fabric ripping followed nearby. MT flinched closer, obviously terrified. Jesse couldn’t blame her, it felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest at the sound of one of the racks getting thrown roughly and crashing along the floor.

The time seemed to stretch on agonizingly slow as they stayed hidden under the fabric. All they could do was wait with baited breath as the sound of the buzzing and their two pursuers got further and further away.

Eventually, MT lowered her hand from his face, and he couldn’t tell if those people were fully gone or not, but they at least weren’t close by anymore.

“M-” he started to ask, immediately getting shushed. Jesse wasn’t going to argue, instead staying quiet as MT started to crawl out of the fabric, holding it up for him to follow after her. Once they were out he felt the soft furry weight on his head slide off, Alan Dracula turning from a hat back into a deer next to him again.

The luxurious car of silks and chiffon and so much more looked torn to shreds now. Fabric was hanging tattered from the ceiling, some of it looking like it was cut in a strangely clean manner, the rest having seemed to be ripped by hand in their pursuers' desperate search. Jesse was distracted from taking in the eerily familiar destruction by his metal friend turning towards him.

“I’ll explain, I swear. I just need you to be quiet and trust me until we find the door,” MT said, a desperate edge to her quiet, frantic whispers. Jesse couldn’t exactly blame her for that, considering the situation.

Still, it felt a little silly that she was asking him to trust her, after everything she’d done. Without thinking twice he nodded.

“Of course I trust you. Let’s just get out of here before those creeps come back,” he whispered back, and he could see the surprise on MT’s face at that. He guessed it made sense, when she had said it would be bad if the water saw her, he wasn’t really picturing anything like this. Still, it was… they’d both been keeping secrets.

The stunned expression didn’t last too long, quickly replaced with a determined one as MT nodded.

“Alright, let’s get going,” she said, and it was easy to see the way she had to steel her nerves. Jesse couldn’t blame her for that though, making sure to keep one hand on Alan Dracula as they started creeping through to find the exit, trying to be as silent as possible. MT had grabbed hold of his other hand again, and now that the grip wasn’t crushingly tight from terror, he didn’t really mind. It was honestly kind of nice, knowing that despite how obviously dangerous and downright life-threatening this was for MT, she didn’t want to risk leaving him behind.

By the time they finally reached the door, thankfully without another run in with their pursuers, Jesse had made up his mind.

As soon as they were somewhere safe again, he was going to tell MT everything. No more secrets.

He wasn’t afraid she was going to leave him anymore.

Not after that.

Chapter Text

They managed to move onto the next car without getting caught by those weird guys who were after MT. It was a long, agonizing moment sneaking through the car, trying not to trip over downed racks and tangled up fabrics, just in case those creeps were still around looking for them, but eventually they found the next door. Before they could stop to inspect anything about the new car though MT already had them moving onto the next one.

And then the next.

And the next.

None of them were particularly big or complicated, so Jesse couldn’t exactly blame her for wanting to blaze through and put as much space between them and those dangerous jerks as possible. Finally though, by Jesse’s count once they were about four cars away, they collapsed. Part of that was the exhaustion starting to hit as adrenaline ran out, and part because the next door wasn’t immediately in view.

Looking around, the car seemed to be full of these giant, colorful pastel structures. They almost looked like flowers, with petals bigger than him curved up and into magnificent bulbs. He wasn't an expert, but if he had to guess they kinda looked like lotus flowers? They were a little too perfect and uniform to be real flowers though, not even counting their towering size.

After a few moments of sitting slumped by the door, MT pushed herself back to her feet before turning back towards where he was still leaning against Alan Dracula.

“Let’s find someplace safer to rest,” she said, and Jesse could notice the way her eyes glanced back over at the door directly behind them. It was a fair fear, they had no idea if those guys had left the fabric car or were still trying to follow them or not. Nodding, he started trying to push himself to his feet on his own, when he noticed MT holding out her hand again.

He couldn’t help but smile some as he took it, not letting go even after he was on his feet. Instead of getting up as well Alan Dracula seemed to grow wheels along the bottom of him, rolling after them like a children’s toy.

Their group didn’t end up going too far, Jesse got the feeling MT just wanted to put some distance between them and the door. Inspecting the strange ‘flowers’ they seemed surprisingly sturdy. A single petal was huge, and it didn’t collapse or anything when he climbed inside. There was enough space for MT as well, and as soon as they were both lying back in the giant yellow petal Alan Dracula materialized in a cloud of purple sparkles alongside them as well.

For a long time no one said anything. Jesse was fine with that, using the moment to catch his breath again. Staring up at the light pink sky of this car, he absently pet Alan Dracula where he was laying out across both him and MT.

She’d promised she was going to explain, but after all that he couldn’t blame her for not immediately launching into it.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Jesse told himself he was just closing his eyes for a minute, but apparently his body had different plans. He supposed he couldn’t blame it for that, to say it’d been a long day would be a hell of an understatement. It still led to a moment of confusion when he woke up again.

Although most of that could be attributed to the hand slowly carding its way through his hair.

“Hmm?” he hummed sleepily in confusion, instinctively tilting his head into the touch because well, it felt nice and he was still mostly asleep. Immediately the hand jerked away, and at this point Jesse’s brain had managed to wake up enough to realize a couple things. One, that he had indeed fallen asleep, and two, that had definitely been MT just now.

Opening his eyes, the sky had turned from the soft light pink that it had been when he’d last seen to a dark, maroon red. He guessed that was what passed for the night sky here. Glancing over at MT, she was sitting up in the petal next to him, now petting Alan Dracula’s head in her lap. It was brighter than he expected, and it was only then that he noticed a soft yellow glow coming from the center of the flower, dulled by the inner petals between them but still enough to light the area. Looking out at the other flowers, they also seemed to have some sort of light in the center, shining whatever color matched their petals.

“Sorry,” MT muttered, face dark in embarrassment. Jesse shrugged, covering up a yawn before pushing himself up so that he was sitting as well.

“S’okay,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “I probably needed to wake up anyway,” he added, even though he wasn’t too sure exactly what part MT was apologizing for. She just nodded, apparently willing to take that and let it pass.

“Do you usually keep your hair this long?” she asked, the question taking Jesse by surprise. Running his own hand through his hair, he hadn’t realized how long it had gotten. It wasn’t much more than usual, he’d only been on the train for a few months now, but he definitely would have gotten a haircut by now if he’d been back home.

“No, well, when I was little I did. Once I started getting older though the school told my parents I needed to start getting it cut more,” he explained, having to think back on that. It had been so long ago now that he didn’t really remember the exact incident as much as he remembered his parents telling him about it later. He couldn’t say he was super surprised at the frown that fell over MT’s face at that.

“That’s stupid,” she said, and he just shrugged at that. It wasn’t like she was wrong after all. It was quiet for a moment then, and Jesse wasn’t sure if it counted as awkward or not. Eventually though MT let out a heavy sigh, pointedly not looking over at him as she spoke.

“So, I guess I should tell you what’s going on now,” she said, which was pretty much what Jesse had figured she was trying to build herself up to.

“It would be nice to know why those jerks were trying to kill you, yeah,” he said, trying to keep his voice light despite the subject at hand. MT nodded, keeping her gaze locked solely on Alan Dracula as she pet the deer. There was a pause then, but Jesse stayed quiet, pretty obvious that she was taking the time to try and find the right words.

“So, my car… it was actually called the mirror world. The chrome car was just what Tulip called it when she went through,” she started, and Jesse wasn’t sure what the significance of that was yet, but he nodded all the same. “Technically, I’m not really from the train, the chrome car just let me escape here. I’m from the mirror world, but I hated it, so I left. That’s not really allowed though, hence the murder happy jerks chasing me,” she continued, and it was a lot of information at once. Jesse was trying to follow along, he really was, but he felt like he wasn’t doing the best job.

“Wait, so when you say the mirror world, do you mean like, actual mirrors?” he asked, and MT nodded.

“Yeah, I was- still am, I guess, a reflection. Tulip’s reflection, but I wanted to live my own life, make my own memories. She found a way to let me go, and those flecks have been after me ever since,” she said, slumping forward and resting her head on her knees.

Jesse felt like his barometer for what sounded unbelievable was irrevocably destroyed after all this time on the train, but even with all that this was surprising to say the least. Still, it made sense, in a way that he hadn’t expected to fit into place so smoothly. It explained who Tulip was to MT now, truly. It had never quite added up before, how important she seemed to be despite MT’s insistence that she had not been helping her like a denizen normally would. How she didn’t even seem to be sure if they were friends or not. It also explained how MT knew so much about the real world, more so than any other denizen he’d ever met. She’d been able to see it, hadn’t quite been there but had reflected someone else’s entire life there up until getting on the train. 

“Oh,” he said simply, which to say felt inadequate would be an understatement if there ever was one. MT didn’t seem too bothered though, nodding the slightest bit. A thought occurred to him then, and he ended up asking before he could think about it. “So your name, MT? Does it stand for Mirror Tulip?”

“It’s not my name. I’m just letting you call me that,” she said, and he didn’t like how… despondent she sounded at that. He wanted to ask what her actual name was then, but he wasn’t sure if there was an answer to that question.  After a moment she sighed, leaning back some, her hands behind her keeping her propped up. She was still wearing his jacket, since he’d given it to her to keep her from getting reflected in the water. He should probably ask for that back at some point.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s just… the flecks can show up in any reflection. I’m never safe,” MT said, an air of incredibly understandable fear tinting her voice. Jesse couldn’t help but frown in confusion as he noticed the glint of light through giant yellow petals shining in her skin.

“But your body’s reflective? Can’t they jump out of you?” he asked, and maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised by the flick of metal fingers against his forehead. She must've been careful about her strength though, since it didn't hurt nearly as much as he knew it could.

“People can’t jump out of people! Come on, that’s stupid,” MT insisted, some of the tension from before leaking out of her now, an amused smile on her face.

“Oh yeah, that’s stupid, but the rest of it is normal!” he complained, not actually bothered and smiling as well. Almost immediately MT burst into laughter, and Jesse found himself joining her. As the laughter subsided Jesse leaned back as well, laying down on the giant petal again to stare up at the dark red sky. When he glanced back over at MT, she looked a lot more relaxed than she had for a while. The area under her eyes were dark though, and he didn’t quite get how that worked being made of metal, but he wasn’t going to question it.

“Did you sleep at all after we got away from those guys?” he asked, the question seeming to take her off guard for a moment. He had no idea how long he’d been asleep for, but it seemed like a while, at least several hours.

“The flecks could still be out there. It’s safer if someone keeps watch,” she said simply, and that was kind of what Jesse had figured. He couldn’t rightfully call it paranoia, considering that those guys had seemed pretty damn determined to kill her, but there was definitely an edge of fear there keeping her trudging on.

“Well, I’m awake now, so you should get some rest,” he said, and he should have expected the frown that formed on MT’s face at the suggestion.

“I’m fine,” she insisted, although Jesse couldn’t say exactly how much he believed that. It was obvious how exhausted she was after all of that, even if she was trying her best to hide it.

“Still smart to get some sleep while you can,” he argued, hoping he could convince her by framing it as something good to do in general rather than insisting it was something she specifically needed to do. It seemed to be at least somewhat effective, MT clearly hesitating some as she thought it over.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt. You’ll wake me up if you hear anything?” she asked, and Jesse quickly nodded.

“Of course, and if I end up missing anything I’m sure A-drac will make sure nothing nasty sneaks up on us,” he said, reaching over and patting the deer. It managed to earn a soft smile from MT before she gave a begrudging sigh.

“Fiiine, if you’re gonna insist. I guess I could use a nap,” she said, stretching her arms up above her head and twisting them, leaning back until something cracked. The whole display was just a little too casual, an attempt at covering up the nerves that were still there and the relief at getting to relax, but Jesse wasn’t about to call her out on it, especially since she was agreeing to sleep.

“Sounds good,” he said, turning his eyes back on the dark red sky as he felt MT shift, curling up to sleep next to him. MT could claim she wasn’t tired as much as she wanted, but that didn’t change the fact that when he sat up again barely five minutes later, she was already out cold. Jesse couldn’t help snorting in amusement at the sight, quickly noticing that Alan Dracula also seemed to have fallen asleep, stretching out so that his head was laying on MT’s chest. Reaching over he scratched the sleepy deer behind the ear as he watched the two in comfortable quiet for a moment.

It was hard to believe that so many people would have her dead, for the apparent crime of wanting to live her own life. Not impossible to believe, not by a long shot, but he certainly didn’t like that.

It was even harder to believe that despite all the danger, the two had still chosen to keep him around and help him.

“I’m not gonna let anything hurt you. I promise,” he said, whispering the words quietly under his breath, to be sure not to wake either of them. Even if no one was listening though, he meant it.

The palm of his hand glowed brighter once again, and he noticed just in time to see the number twitch down again. Not much, but something, knocking down two to land on 46. Jesse started to reach over to shake MT, excited to show her the progress, before stopping himself.

She needed sleep. He could wait to show her once she woke up.

Until then, he could be patient.

——

MT had been asleep much longer than she intended when she finally ended up waking again. It made sense considering everything, but that didn’t stop the quick flash of panic that ran through her mind as soon as consciousness started to return. Because she could start to process what the fear shooting through her was even about she’d sprung up, eyes immediately open and looking around for-

“Whoa! Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

Right.

Jesse.

Things started to fall back into place then, the hand on her shoulder and the disgruntled form of Alan Dracula in her lap bringing MT fully to the present. The panic that had been there subsided now as the fear that she’d wake up to find herself totally alone again was gone now. That Jesse hadn’t taken the opportunity to escape the danger being with her had put him in. For some reason, he was still here. They were both still here.

Letting out a deep sigh, she was quickly distracted when Alan Dracula blew a puff of air into her face. Next to her, Jesse started snickering.

“I don’t think AD’s very happy at his pillow throwing him off,” he said, and MT couldn’t help smiling at that as she started petting the sides of the deer’s face.

“Aw, sorry buddy,” she said, giving him a good scruff before turning back towards Jesse. “How long was I out for?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“A while. It’s hard to tell time here sometimes,” he said, which was more than fair. MT had trouble with it as well, so most of the time she didn’t bother. “Oh! But check this out!” Jesse added, and before she could ask what one of his hands was being shoved into her face. It didn’t take more than a second for her to realize why, her eyes focusing on the glowing number.

“It went down again?” she asked, as if that wasn’t obvious. Jesse was grinning brightly though as he nodded, pulling his hand back.

“Yeah, I know it’s not much, but every little bit helps,” he said. It was true, and honestly MT was mostly impressed that his number had dropped again, even this little amount, after the huge jump it had taken while they were on the boat.

Before she could say anything else though, something about Jesse’s demeanor changed. It wasn’t hard to notice, he basically wore his heart on his sleeve constantly. He looked nervous, but not quite in the same way that he normally did. He didn’t look like he wanted to crawl in a hole and die, at any rate.

“Hey uh, so there was something else I wanted to talk to you about. It’s uh, it’s kinda important. It doesn’t have anything to do with the reflection stuff. I just figured that, ya know, since you’re being honest about everything, I should be too,” he said, and it wasn’t all that hard to figure out what he was talking about.

“You mean with how you got on the train?” she asked, not surprised when Jesse nodded as confirmation. The closest he’d come to mentioning anything about it was while they were on the boat, and MT couldn’t pretend she wasn’t at least a little curious. “Look, you don’t owe me an explanation if you don’t want to talk about it,” she still said, because that felt important. Jesse nodded though, not looking very deterred.

“I know, I want to tell you,” he said, and it seemed like he was telling the truth. So MT didn’t argue anymore, nodding and waiting for Jesse to start to explain.

And waiting.

“Sorry, it’s just… hard to know how to start,” he said, and MT shrugged at that.

“However you want to, I guess,” she said, which probably wasn’t helpful at all, but it was all she had. Jesse nodded though, seeming to take it into consideration before sighing.

“It sounds… it sounds really stupid when I say it out loud, but I was letting some of my friends pick on my little brother,” Jesse started, and it wasn’t until she noticed him fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt did MT realize she was still wearing his jacket. Her first instinct was to shuck it off and shove it back at him, but that seemed like a rude thing to do when he was in the middle of something.

“Let might be the wrong word though. I was a part of it. Like I said, it was exactly the same thing I ended up doing here, I knew it was wrong but I just… I don’t know! I guess I wanted them to think I was cool and didn’t want anyone to be mad at me, so I played along. It was some stupid ‘man test’ and they pushed him down a hill, I think he might have actually gotten really hurt? I never bothered to check though, and before I could go home and apologize I ended up on the train,” Jesse finished, stubbornly avoiding her gaze as he spoke. It was pretty obvious how hard this was for him to actually talk about.

MT still wasn’t all that great at the whole comforting thing, and there was a part of it all that was hard to even believe. Jesse didn’t seem like the kind of person to bully his own brother, but he also didn’t seem like the kind of person to join a group like the Apex either. It was pretty obvious that the whole thing was more complicated than that.

“You made a mistake. Once we get you home, you can apologize to your brother. Pretty sure after all this time, he'll just be happy to see you again,” she said finally, hoping it was good enough. From the soft smile on Jesse’s face as he turned towards her finally, it at least wasn’t the worst.

“Thanks,” he said, the earnestness in his voice catching MT off guard. Now she was the one who had to look away again, turning her eyes up towards the sky. It was getting lighter, although still dark enough that the glow from the center of the flower was still the brightest thing around.

“Sorry you ended up getting sucked into this stupid train to begin with. Your number was only around thirty when you got on, right?” MT asked, getting a nod from Jesse. “If it had just let you go home and talk to your brother you probably would have been able to fix your shit on your own, instead of getting trapped on a nightmare locomotive for months on end,” she added, because it was true. Sure, it had helped Tulip, but not until after months of confusion away from home. Because of the Apex, Jesse’s problems only got worse before they even had a chance of getting better. Then there was the Apex itself, a bunch of kids intentionally making themselves worse to get their numbers up.

Yeah, the train didn’t seem to have that great of a track record, as far as MT could tell.

“I guess so, maybe… but like, it hasn’t been all bad,” Jesse said, and MT couldn’t help raising a skeptical eyebrow at that as she turned back towards him.

“Seriously? Okay, I’ll bite, what could possibly be so great about this train that it offsets all the other bullshit?” she asked, expecting some dumb answer like the mountains made of ice cream or singing bicycle men or what not.

“I mean, you’re here.”

Oh.

Oh that’s not-

“Ow! Hey!”

“I swear if you ever say something that cheesy again!” MT blurted out, trying to ignore the way her face felt like it was on fire. Jesse’s hand had flown up to his forehead, holding the part where she’d flicked him definitely a little bit harder than was necessary, an indignant look on his face.

“Rude!” he huffed, and it wasn’t even like he was wrong, but MT couldn’t consider that right now. “You were petting my hair when I woke up and I didn’t say anything! I think I’m allowed to be a little cheesy,” he argued and oh, suddenly MT wanted to die. She never got it when Jesse looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide there forever before, but now she did.

“Screw you,” she snapped, twisting around to jump off the petal and back down to the ground. She could hear Jesse already scrambling to follow after her, but she didn’t bother looking back as she continued. “Just for that I’m not giving you your jacket back!”

“Hey!” Jesse shouted, from the sound of it landing a bit less elegantly than she’d managed. “Come on, MT! That’s mine!” he whined, starting to give chase as MT started walking fast off in a random direction. It was about time they started trying to look for the way to the next car anyway.

“Too bad, you lost it, mine now,” she huffed, arms crossed. MT didn’t actually intend to keep the jacket, but she would at least wait until they got to the next car to make her point. What exactly that point was, she wasn’t too sure, but she was gonna make it.

“So mean,” he complained, just managing to keep up behind her. Somehow despite the whining it didn’t sound like he was actually upset, which was probably a good thing. Yeah, definitely a good thing, she didn’t want to actually piss him off over a dumb jacket.

“Yes, I’m very mean and can do anything I want and you should remember that,” she said. As they walked through the giant pastel colored flowers Alan Dracula was jumping from one to another above them, almost like a grasshopper or something.

“Uhuh, sure, you’ve definitely never done anything super sweet or selfless like saving some jerky guy from a weird train cult when you barely knew him or promised to get him home or brought him candy apples when he was sad. I must’ve just imagined all that,” Jesse said, sounding somewhere between amused and pouting as he followed along behind her.

“Yeah, not really ringing a bell,” she lied, Jesse huffing in response. Maybe this wasn’t the nicest way to act after he had stayed up for who knows how long so that she had a chance to rest, but she didn’t have to be nice. Yes, they were friends, but that didn’t mean she had to be nice.

They ended up walking for a while, looking for the door. Slowly MT started to feel a little less like she wanted to go hide in a well for eternity, which was appreciated. Couldn’t say she was a fan of all that, not in the slightest. It was long enough that the flustered panic in her chest slowly gave way to frustrated annoyance at not being able to find the door. The dark red sky was now light pink again, which probably meant they’d been in here for at least a day. Sure, they definitely needed the rest, but MT wasn’t exactly great at staying in one place for all that long.

“Seriously, the door’s gotta be around here somewhere,” she complained, turning back towards Jesse, who shrugged helplessly at her.

“Not gonna lie, kinda feels like we’ve been going in circles for a while,” he said, and MT sighed heavily at that.

“It’s not my fault all these dumb giant flowers look the same,” she complained, before pausing. “Actually…” she trailed off, starting to walk towards something past Jesse’s shoulder that didn’t quite match the rest of the lightly colored flower-like structures around them. It wasn’t shaped like the door, and it was too big despite still seeming kind of far away, but it was red. Bright red.

Jesse seemed to realize something was up, not questioning her as he followed along, Alan Dracula continuing to move at a much quicker pace up above them. Thankfully, it didn’t actually take that long to reach the flower MT had been aiming for.

“It’s in here,” she said, starting to climb up into the petals.

“How do you know?” Jesse asked, pulling himself up after her despite the question. Looking up, Alan Dracula was already standing on the tip of one of the center petals. They just needed to get in there too.

“It’s the right color,” she said, because it was. The rest were all light pinks, pale yellows, and baby blues and lilac, but this one was the same dark red as the door. Realization seemed to dawn on Jesse as he looked over the flower again.

“Huh,” he said simply.

It took a little bit of effort to maneuver their way through the giant petals, but after some time they managed to get to the center of the flower. Just like MT had expected, in the center of the dark red flower was the door. As she let out a sigh of relief, she felt Jesse nudge her side.

“Would you look at that, smart and sweet.”

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep.”

Jesse laughed, moving forward and opening the door to leave the car. Crossing her arms, MT huffed, setting Jesse with a glare as she followed him out of the car, Alan Dracula jumping down and coming as well. She was pretty sure that despite her best efforts, both of them could tell that she wasn’t actually mad.

She was pretty sure she didn’t mind that, too.

Chapter Text

“Almost… almost… got it! Uh oh.”

“Jesse!”

MT flinched hard as she watched Jesse fall from the branch of the vine covered tree. She would have ran over to check if he was okay, but the screeching in her arms was a little distracting at the moment.

There was a short beat after he hit the ground, MT taking a few nervous steps closer before a pair of furry silver legs sprang up, attempting to run off again. Thankfully it failed, and MT let out a sigh of relief as Jesse sat up as well, hand clutching the silver monkey tail. “Still got it! Also, I’m okay,” he assured her.

“Good to know,” she said, grimacing as the head in her arms continued to struggle. Ducking under low hanging jungle vines, she finished making her way over to where Jesse was stumbling to his feet. There was a clanging sound as the furious monkey head started trying to bite at her hand in its attempt to free itself. “Yeah, yeah, chomp all you want. I’m the harder metal here, bud,” she complained.

“How you holding up?” Jesse asked, holding the silver monkey legs as far away from him as he could. Considering how much they were kicking as he held the tail, MT couldn’t blame him for that.

“Ya know, been worse,” she said with a shrug, Jesse chuckling at that.

“Well, we’ve only got the one part left, so it shouldn’t be too hard,” he said, and theoretically he should have been right. Looking up though, MT could just make out the form of the silver money’s torso and arms swinging rapidly among the high branches, before vanishing from sight, leaving its head and legs behind without a care. “Or… not.”

“I hate this car,” she said bluntly, Jesse nodding in agreement.

“Maybe… maybe Alan could catch him?” the boy suggested after a moment of standing around hopelessly. MT raised an eyebrow skeptically at that, stealing a glance over to where the deer was chowing down on some of the thick foliage around them, blissfully unaware of the current predicament with the locked door and enchanted monkey. She could see Jesse follow her gaze, coming to about the same conclusion before sighing and resting his hands on his hips in thought.

That didn’t last very long, the monkey legs starting to kick and scratch at him as soon as they were within reaching.

“Ouch! Ow! Evil monkey!” he snapped, pulling it away from him again to hold at arm’s length.

“Evil monkey is redundant,” MT said, not seeing any choice but to start walking off after the silver torso. Jesse followed after her, nearly tripping over a vine as he sprinted to catch up.

“Some monkeys are cute,” he argued, and MT rolled her eyes at that.

“Cute does not negate evil,” she said, and of course Jesse hummed thoughtfully at that, really seeming to think it over. It should be annoying, but for some reason that was honestly beyond her at this point, MT couldn’t help but find it endearing. Certainly a lot more endearing than the ball of hatred and rage currently in her arms.

“I suppose that’s true, cute things can still be evil,” he relented after a moment.

“Of course they can, pretty sure that’s how you’ve managed for so long,” MT said, not thinking about it as she spoke. She near instantly regretted it when a smug grin spread over Jesse’s face.

“Glad you’re finally admitting that I am absolutely adorable,” he said. MT rolled her eyes at that, making sure to keep an ear out for any rustling as they looked for the last part of the monkey.

“Yeah well, I already called the badass rebel aesthetic, so I guess you need something,” she said, having at this point relented to letting the monkey try to gnaw off her arm. At least it was keeping it from screeching loudly in their ears. “Only reason why I let you have your jacket back, it clashed,” she added, although it had been a few days since then.

A few days since…

“Fair enough, can’t mess with the cool punk aesthetic,” Jesse agreed, nodding sagely despite the angry monkey third still in his arms.

They were both quickly distracted by a loud rustling of branches up ahead. From her arms, the monkey head had stopped chewing ineffectively at metal skin and started screeching again. Looking up, the cause was obvious, the monkey torso rapidly swinging through the branches before diving right for them.

“Get down!”

MT only just managed to process Jesse’s warning before he tackled her to the jungle floor and out of the monkey’s path. The surprise left her more stunned than the fall, leaving them both on the ground for a moment with Jesse laying on top of her protectively. When she did finally process the situation, it was mostly to realize that Jesse wasn’t being clawed up by the monkey torso in her stead. Instead of trying to shove him off, MT shifted and Jesse got the picture, climbing off of her now that the coast seemed clear.

“What’d you do that for?” MT asked, trying to make sure everything was still accounted for. Monkey head, legs still clutched by the tail in Jesse’s hand, yep.

“It was gonna hurt you,” he argued, and she rolled her eyes at that.

“Did you forget the whole metal thing? It’ll hurt you a lot more than it’ll hurt me,” she said, and Jesse just shrugged at that.

“Maybe, but I still don’t want you to get hurt at all,” he insisted. As if on cue the palm of the hand not clutching the monkey tail started to glow, and they both watched as the number dropped three, down to 43. Immediately Jesse was grinning again, a smug look on his face. “And it was obviously the right thing to do, or else my number wouldn’t have gone down,” he added, and MT smiled at that.

Smiled and hoped it wasn’t obvious the way it felt a little bit more strained than it had been before, that Jesse wouldn’t notice how tight her chest felt looking at the lowering number.

“Fair enough,” she said simply, starting to push herself back to her feet. “Let’s just try and find some way to get the last piece of this monkey already. Maybe we can set up some sort of… uh, trap. Oh,” MT trailed off, looking over at Alan Dracula and finally noticing what must’ve happened after Jesse had knocked them both to the ground.

Alan Dracula’s antlers had grown even larger than normal, with what MT could only describe as a thick spider web sprawling between the great branching forms. Trapped inside of the web, thrashing about was the monkey torso.

“Woo! Way to go Alan Dracula!” Jesse cheered, and MT was quickly laughing in relief. Thankfully with the middle part trapped, it didn’t take long to attach the legs and head again. As soon as the three parts were attached, they could hear the telltale click of the car door unlocking. Immediately the monkey tore off once it was whole, but it didn’t matter to them now that the door was open.

Jesse turned towards her, a huge smile stretched across his face with a hand held up for a high-five, and MT didn’t hesitate to slap her hand up against his.

Then her eyes focused on the glowing 43 clear as day on his hand, and MT quickly turned back around, afraid that somehow the sudden twinge of pain in her chest would be visible on her face.

“Come on, let’s get out of this dumb jungle already,” she said, trying to push all of that to the back of her mind. Not thinking about it wouldn’t fix anything, but she didn’t have any better options either.

“Seconded,” Jesse agreed, and thankfully it didn’t take long to get to the exit. This time it opened without any issues, and MT let out a sigh of relief as they started across the gangplank.

“Here’s hoping the next car doesn’t make us chase a wild animal in a sweaty jungle for six hours,” MT grumbled, standing behind Jesse as he opened up the next door.

The first thing she noticed was that it looked like they were walking into a building, instead of out into some wild environment. The first room looked large, with soft, orange glowing lights hanging from the ceiling and strange knickknacks hung up all along the walls. There were tables all set up, a few booths along one wall, with a varied assortment of denizens eating and chatting quietly. An iron rod spiral staircase was heading up to a second story, and there was a large metal door that seemed to lead to a back room.

“Welcome, how many in your party?”

“Oh my gosh a restaurant!” Jesse shouted in delight, grabbing MT by the wrist and pulling her inside along with him. “Table for three please!” MT couldn’t fault him for the excitement, it had been a while since they had happened upon one of the calmer train cars. She would have been excited for the break too, if her eyes didn’t land on the denizen sitting on top of the greeter podium.

“Bien sûr, let me see what we have available,” the pale yellow cat said, seeming to look over a chart on the podium. She was wearing a white long sleeve shirt with a black collar and cuffs, and immediately MT pushed herself in front of the other two.

“Hold it Jesse! There’s a catch here,” she said, suspicion clear in her voice. The Cat frowned at that, turning to get a good look at her for the first time, and immediately her eyes widened.

“Tulip! What are you still doing on the train?” she asked, sounding surprisingly concerned. Then she grinned as she looked MT over again. “You’ve gotten quite the makeover kitten,” she added.

“Oh no! I’m not Tulip! I’m not… Tulip…” she muttered, not sure what else to say. She hadn’t planned for this. Meeting up with any of the denizens Tulip had run into during her journey had honestly been something she’d wanted to avoid as much as possible.

“A reflection! I’ve never seen one of your kind in the prime world,” the Cat said, and MT’s eyes widened at that.

“How did you know-”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” the Cat cut her off, and MT could already tell that she was going to be her same mysterious self. “Tell me, who is this tomcat you’ve got with you?” she asked, clearly changing the subject.

“Hi, I’m Jesse!” Jesse introduced himself, still smiling brightly, which was hardly a surprise. MT sighed, putting any thoughts of this being an easy, relaxing car far behind her.

“Jesse, meet the cat. I got to know her while I was still attached to Tulip. She’s a world class con artist,” she explained. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Alan Dracula walk over and start eating a large potted plant in the corner. She wasn't entirely sure if it was a real plant or not.

“World class entrepreneur,” the Cat corrected. “Now, we have a table that’s just opened up, lucky you didn’t even have to make a reservation,” she added, grabbing a few menus from a container on the side of the podium. MT didn’t move from her spot though, keeping a suspicious glare on the cat.

“What’s the catch, cat?” she asked, getting another disapproving head shake from the cat.

“No catch, my fille brillante, this is a legitimate business,” the cat insisted, MT immediately rolling her eyes. Before she could argue though she felt Jesse tugging gently on her wrist again. “What?” she asked, turning back towards him.

“Come on MT, it’s been a while since we’ve been able to relax and have some decent food,” he said, and even though he wasn’t wrong she wasn’t that moved yet. “Plus, we’re gonna have to get through this car anyway. Might as well grab something to eat while we do,” he added, and that she had a harder time arguing with. After a moment she let out a reluctant sigh.

“Fine, I guess it couldn’t hurt,” she relented, getting a grin from Jesse that almost immediately had her smiling back.

“Excellent, right this way,” The Cat said, and with that the three followed her further into the restaurant. It seemed like a pretty nice place, not hundreds of dollars steakhouse nice, but still a little ritzy. As soon as they reached the table the Cat had led them to MT pulled out a can of black spray paint and quickly covered up all of the metal silverware before sitting down.

There was definitely a look of irritation from that on the Cat’s face, but she didn’t say anything about it as she put three menus down on the table.

“Your waiter will be with you shortly,” was all she said before bounding away. Jesse quickly started looking through his own menu. There wasn’t a chair for Alan Dracula, but the deer had shrunk himself down small and was currently inspecting the centerpiece. MT flipped open her own menu, but as she tried to look over the meals it was hard for her to focus. It wasn’t long before she gave up, shutting the menu and using one hand to rest her chin on, slumping forward over the table to glare off at nothing.

She couldn’t say she was surprised that Jesse noticed her sour mood, a concerned frown on his face as he put his menu down to look over at her.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, voice soft, and MT wanted to be irritated at the question. It was pretty obvious that everything wasn’t okay after all. It was always so much harder to be mad at Jesse than it should be though, so instead of snapping at him she sighed, turning her attention to the centerpiece that Alan Dracula was trying to eat. She was pretty sure they also weren’t real flowers, but that didn’t seem to deter the deer any.

“No. This is gonna backfire,” she muttered, because it was true. The cat had bad blood with Tulip, and she doubted the denizen saw her as a separate person. The last thing she wanted to do was get Jesse wrapped up in problems from Tulip’s journey through the train.

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright,” Jesse assured her, and it was hard for MT not to jolt when she felt him place his hand on top of hers across the table. “If anything happens we’ll figure it out together. As long as we’ve got each other’s back, it’ll be fine,” he continued. MT could feel a soft smile starting to tug at her lips, calming down a bit at Jesse’s words.

Then her eyes glanced back down at their hands. She could see the slight green sheen from the glow of his number reflecting against her skin, and any warm comfort she’d felt before turned to ice in her chest.

Without a word she yanked her hand away, pushing her chair back a little more roughly than necessary as she stood up.

“MT?” Jesse asked, clearly surprised and confused.

“I’m gonna look for the door,” she blurted out, honestly not caring but needing some excuse to just get away for a moment. Jesse was still frowning, concern plastered over his face as he nodded slowly.

“Alright, if you really think we should leave…” he said, starting to stand, but MT shook her head.

“No, stay here. I just want to know where it is in case we need to make a quick escape. I’ll do a pass around the car and be right back. You wait, save our table,” she insisted. Jesse wore every emotion on his face as clear as a bright neon sign, so it wasn’t hard to see that he was still suspicious, that he didn’t quite believe the lies. Even still, after a moment he nodded.

“Okay. Just… call if you need anything,” he said, and MT nodded at that.

“Will do,” she assured him, before heading off. Her eyes landed on the spiral staircase, and without thinking twice she headed up it, moving two steps at a time. The top floor was similar to the first, although the tables were a little more spread out, and there were less customers up here. There were large open archways leading out to balconies, no doors, just flowing curtains closing them off from the main room. Finding an empty one, MT went and leaned against the iron rod banister, thankful for the moment alone.

This was stupid. She was being stupid.

None of this was new. It had been the whole plan from the beginning, so there was no reason for her to suddenly start feeling like this. For every time Jesse’s number went down to feel like a stab in the chest instead of a reason to celebrate. She promised that she would help him get home, and she intended to follow through on that promise, because he was her best friend.

But it was just...

It wasn't...

She didn’t want him to leave.

“If you want balcony seating, we can have your party moved. I will warn you though, a view like this does come with a bit of an up charge.”

MT scoffed as the cat jumped up on the banister next to her. Of course she couldn’t be afforded a single moment alone to sulk. She considered turning around and leaving without a word to the animal, but the only other place to go was back to Jesse. MT didn’t… she wasn’t sure if she could handle that yet.

“Pretty sure you’re gonna have us washing dishes in the back room by the time all this is over to begin with. Let’s not add onto it,” she grumbled, getting a chuckle from the cat that certainly wasn’t a no. Looking out, the view really was beautiful. There was no solid scenery, instead just a dark sky with ribbons of light that resembled an aurora strung throughout it, constantly shifting.

“Your choice, kitten,” she said, and MT rolled her eyes at the nickname.

“I already told you, I’m not Tulip. Whatever beef you still have with her I’ve got nothing to do with it, so just leave me and my friends alone,” she insisted. The cat just tisked her, expertly walking along the banister and flicking MT’s nose with her tail.

“S'il te plaît, I have nothing against Tulip. We managed to work out a very beneficial deal for all parties before she left the train,” the Cat insisted, and it was hard to tell if she was being truthful or not. “And as you said, that has nothing to do with you,” she added, and MT couldn’t help frowning suspiciously at that.

“You can’t expect me to believe you actually see me as my own person,” she said, getting an offended gasp from the cat in return.

“And why would that be so hard to believe?” she asked, and MT didn’t even try resisting rolling her eyes at that. She pushed off from the banister, starting to pace around the balcony.

“Because! No one else does! No one on this train and definitely no one who knew Tulip,” she snapped. Her eyes fell then, not looking at the cat as she continued much more quietly. “No one here cares about me except for Jesse and Alan.”

Jesse, who kept on promising that no matter what happened, they’d handle it together. Jesse, who was always trying to protect her even when it only served to put him in danger. Jesse, who now knew who she was and what she was and only seemed even more determined to stick by her side.

Jesse, who was going to leave as soon as his number reached zero.

Who she would never see again.

The cat didn’t respond for a moment, but MT was having a hard time caring about that or what she was thinking. She just didn’t know when things had changed. When the idea of never seeing him again had started to hurt so badly. Sure, she would still have Alan Dracula, would still have her first friend, but that wouldn’t fix the hole she could already feel being ripped in her chest.

“There seems to be more bothering you than just that, kitten,” the Cat said finally, and MT couldn’t help jolting, having nearly forgotten about the feline. She hadn’t realized her eyes were squeezed tight until she opened them, having to blink back tears.

“Whatever,” she grumbled, turning to leave the balcony. She didn’t get more than a step before the cat jumped down from the banister, moving to block her way. MT could have easily gotten around her, but despite that she paused.

“Wait,” she said, and MT didn’t say anything, but she didn’t try to leave again either. “Tell me what’s troubling you so. Perhaps I could be of some assistance,” she said, and MT scoffed at that.

“You mean maybe you can figure out how to use my problems to scam me,” she snapped, because that was how the cat worked. That’s what she did to Tulip, and MT wasn’t dumb. She wasn’t fooled by the offended gasp the cat gave, holding a paw up to her chest.

“Why I would never,” she insisted, and MT rolled her eyes. She should just leave, go back to Jesse and forget about all of this.

But well… It was hard to think of a way for the Cat to take advantage of this. It was just inevitable. Jesse was going to leave, and she’d never see her best friend again. That was how the train worked.

She really, really hated how the train worked.

Turning back around, MT went and leaned on the balcony railing again. She still didn’t say anything for a long moment, staring out at the auroras dancing in the sky. At some point the cat had jumped back up and MT could feel the feline staring at her. Finally she sighed and started speaking.

“I promised Jesse I would help get him home. It’s been going well. He had a big breakthrough a few days ago, his number dropped by over twenty, all at once. It’s been slowly chipping away here and there since then. It’s pretty obvious that he’ll get down to zero sooner or later, maybe a couple more weeks, a month, at most,” she said, not chancing looking over at the cat as she spoke. When she finally did glance at her, she was nodding solemnly, a knowing look in her eyes. MT sighed, turning her attention back out at nothing. “I know he needs to leave. I just… I didn’t realize how much it would hurt.”

“The first time is always the hardest, my little chartreuse,” the Cat said, and immediately MT was sitting up a bit straighter, a sharp frown on her face.

“The first time? What do you mean, the first time?” she asked, getting a look of confusion from the cat.

“Is he not your first passenger?” she pressed, and MT shook her head, before pausing.

“No- I mean, yes, technically I guess, but it’s not- it’s not like that,” she tried to insist, because it wasn’t. The cat only seemed even more confused though, head tilting to the side skeptically. 

“It’s not like what?” she asked. MT sighed, struggling to find the words.

“It’s not- Jesse’s not just some passenger I’m helping because I’m supposed to! I don’t care what the train wants, it’s- he’s my friend, and he wants to go home. Following the train’s rules is just the easiest way to make sure that happens, but it’s not- I’m not some sidekick spouting out whatever wisdom I think he needs to hear! Jesse cares about me too,” she insisted. It didn’t seem to sway the cat at all though, who was still frowning, the tip of her tail twitching ever so slightly.

“So you think that everyone else who assists a passenger is doing it only because the train wants them to?” she asked, and immediately MT flinched at that, shaking her head.

“No, that’s not… I didn’t say that,” she muttered, the Cat humming in a way that made it clear she was not very convinced.

“Then you think you’re the only one to feel simply devastated at a passenger parting?” the Cat continued to press. MT was clenching the railing as tight as she could, not daring to look over as she answered.

“No! Of course not! You don’t get it,” she said, because it was more than that. It was more than just Jesse leaving her. There was so much more. There were the flecks, being on the run, constantly having to watch her back, knowing that one wrong move would be the end of her. It was not being able to escape Tulip’s shadow, every chance run in with a denizen from her past, every video entry of One-One reinforcing the fact that the world here wouldn’t see her as her own person. It was every throwaway comment from the other denizens, the implications that her choices, her growth were all secondary to the passenger she was with.

She didn't want Jesse to leave, because he made it all just that little bit more bearable. In the end though, it wasn't about him. It was about her, and the train, and the slow realization that she wasn't...

She wasn't sure if she would ever be happy.

“Oh really? Because I fail to see how I don’t understand,” the Cat insisted, and MT couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t… couldn’t trust the cat. Not to run a restaurant or make a trade, and certainly not with anything like this. She already knew more about reflections than MT was comfortable with, she couldn’t let anything slip that might put her in danger. That would put Jesse and Alan Dracula in danger.

When she didn’t respond, the Cat sighed heavily. After a moment she moved forward, jumping up on MT’s shoulders.

“But you know, there is a solution,” she said, and MT sat up some at that. Immediately she was frowning, already feeling a scam.

“And what’s that?” she asked, suspicion clear in her voice. The Cat surely noticed, but she didn’t comment, answering as if nothing was wrong at all.

“It’s rather simple really, I won’t even charge you for the advice. All you have to do is… leave first.”

“W-what?” MT asked, completely thrown by that.

“You said he has about another month on the train, je crois? If you’re already in such torment over his departure, imagine how much worse it’ll be then,” she said, and MT could feel her stomach sink at the idea, shrinking in on herself and not saying anything. “Perhaps it would be best for everyone to rip the bandage off now. If he’s made so much progress, surely he’ll still be able to find his own way home. He seems like a sharp boy,” the Cat finished, and MT wanted to argue. She couldn’t do that. She promised Jesse she would help him get home.

But when she went to answer, words failed her.

After a moment the cat jumped down from her shoulders, landing on the railing only to use it as a stepping stone down to the balcony. MT let go of the banister to watch as she started heading back into the restaurant proper. Before she left entirely though the cat paused.

“Whatever you decide, I would recommend not taking on another passenger if you don’t feel you can cut it. There’s no shame. Some of us simply do not have the stomach for it.”

With that, the Cat headed back into the restaurant, leaving MT out on the balcony.

Alone.

Chapter Text

MT said she would be right back.

Jesse was trying his best not to worry, but he wasn’t doing a very good job. It was pretty obvious that MT had been on edge since they got to this car, which made sense considering this cat apparently knew Tulip and wasn’t the most trustworthy person. That was all he knew though, and as the minutes continued to tick by without any sign of MT’s return Jesse could feel the knot of worry in his stomach growing tighter and tighter.

A waiter did end up stopping by, a big bear guy in a bow tie, and Jesse just ordered some drinks, insisting that his friend would be back soon.

MT would be back soon.

Ten minutes passed, and MT was still gone.

Fifteen, and still no sign of her coming down the spiral staircase.

Twenty-five, and he had to brush off the waiter again, assuring him that they would order soon.

Finally, he broke, letting out a worried sigh as he pushed himself up from his chair.

“Come on Alan, let’s go see what’s taking her,” he said, holding his hand out for the miniature deer to climb on. Instead of doing that he shifted into a snake, actually wrapping his still furry body around Jesse’s arm instead. He couldn’t help but giggle at that, but the smile quickly dipped from his face as he started towards the staircase.

Before he could put a hand on the banister the cat from before had jumped onto it. He hadn’t seen her coming, but he hadn’t been paying much attention either, too worried about MT.

“I’m sorry, if you would like some second floor seating you’re going to have to put in a reservation,” she said, sounding polite and pleasant enough. It wasn't good to make enemies if they could help it, so Jesse tried to be polite back, even with the ever mounting worry gnawing at the pit of his stomach.

“My friend went up there a while ago. I just want to be sure she’s okay,” he insisted, moving to walk past the cat. When he did she simply walked backwards up the banister, not letting him get more than a step before stopping again.

“Oh right, now tell me, which one was that again?” she asked, head tilted to the side in a play at an honest question that wasn’t all that convincing. Jesse could feel the frown on his face get a little bit colder at that.

MT had been obviously worried about this place and the cat. He shouldn’t have left her alone for so long.

“The one made entirely of metal,” he said, a blunt tone to his voice as he tried to push past the cat again. This time she jumped down from the banister, landing a few steps ahead of him and forcing him to stop once again.

“Ah yes of course, well I’m sure she’ll return as soon as she’s good and ready,” the Cat insisted.

“Or, I could just go up there and make sure she’s okay,” he argued, really not liking the fact that the cat wouldn’t let him move forward. Something was off, he could tell that something had been weird with MT, he should have said something. Should have insisted on going with her, shouldn’t have waited so long to start looking.

“Maintenant écoute moi, I understand that being stood up can certainly sting, especially when you’re young, but-” the Cat started to argue, but Jesse didn’t let her finish.

“Stood- that’s not- no!” he stuttered out, face feeling much hotter than it had any right to be. “Just- just stop. I’m going to go look for my friend and there’s nothing you can do about it!” he insisted, quickly jumping over the cat and running up the rest of the stairs, not bothering to see if the denizen had any intention of following him.

Honestly, after all this time worrying when he reached the top of the stairs the last thing he expected to see was just… more restaurant. A slightly more exclusive looking area, with less tables and large balconies along the sides of the walls. Walking through, he didn’t see any obvious place where MT would have run off to, didn’t see the door anywhere up here or anyone who might try to hurt her. His instincts wanted to call out for her, but he still didn’t trust this place, so instead he tried to move as quietly as possible as he searched.

Peaking into one of the balconies, Jesse felt relief rush through his whole body at the sight of MT standing out there, leaning against the railing with her back to him. There was no one else out there, and she didn’t seem hurt, so it didn’t explain what had taken her so long to come back. He could tell from a quick glance that the door hadn’t been up here. If she was really looking for the door, it wouldn't have taken anymore than five, maybe ten minutes if she was being thorough.

He’d gotten the feeling that wasn’t the actual reason why she ran off though. He just didn’t have any clue what was.

“Oh wow, that’s pretty,” he said, taking a step out onto the balcony. It was, the dark sky full of shifting green and yellow and purple lights in bands. Immediately MT jolted at his voice, but instead of turning around she kept her back to him, quickly wiping at her face from what he could tell. That… wasn’t a good sign.

“I told you I’d be right back,” she insisted, and Jesse was immediately frowning at the strained tone to her voice. MT wasn’t anywhere near as good at hiding her feelings as she pretended to be.

“That was over half an hour ago,” he said, feeling like he had a right to be worried after that. Taking a few steps closer, Jesse made sure to keep some space between them still, since he couldn’t… he really couldn’t tell what was going on with MT. He didn’t want to make her anymore upset than she already clearly was though, he knew that much.

“I was coming back,” she repeated, the words whispered so quietly Jesse almost hadn’t heard them. Like she was speaking more to herself than to him, although he didn’t know why that would be. Even still he nodded, taking a few more cautious steps forward.

“I know, I was just worried and wanted to make sure everything was okay,” he said, closing the distance to stand next to her. MT was leaning forward over the banister, head facing down making it hard to see their expression, so Jesse didn’t try. Instead he put his hands down on the railing and continued watching the pretty display in the sky. As he did Alan Dracula started to slither down and over to MT. The deer didn’t climb onto her yet though, instead just sniffing at her hand as he stayed wrapped around the iron rod railing.

“… is everything okay?” Jesse asked after a long stretch of silence.

In response MT let out a bitter, choked bark of a laugh, turning her head away from him.

“Fuck if I know,” she said. It was about as clear cut of a ‘no’ as one could get without MT outright saying it, and Jesse had no idea what had brought this on. What had changed. Everything had been fine, even better than fine. They’d been working together, his number was getting lower and lower, he couldn’t think of another person he got along with the way he did with MT. Someone outside of his family who he felt so comfortable just being himself with. Who he wasn’t afraid to tease and argue with, because he trusted now that she wasn’t going to get fed up and leave him. Someone who he felt so at ease with but also nervous at the same time, something he wasn’t trying to inspect too closely right now.

Still, if she didn’t want to explain what the problem was, he wasn’t going to force her. He trusted her to come to him when she wanted to, and besides, he could pick up enough from context clues, at least.

“I’m sorry,” he said, the apology seeming to catch MT off guard. “I didn’t realize how badly being around this cat affected you, if I did I wouldn’t have pushed us to stay,” he continued, hesitantly reaching over and putting a hand on MT’s shoulder. “Let’s just get out of here.”

Almost immediately MT pulled herself out of his hold, finally turning towards him so that he could properly see her face. It was exactly what he feared from the tremble in her voice as she spoke. There were tears in her eyes that she was rapidly trying to blink back, a grimace on her face and her hands were now balled up in fists, shaking at her side.

“MT?”

“This isn’t about the stupid cat!” she snapped, catching him off guard.

“W-what?” he asked, feeling truly lost now. MT quickly looked away from him again, turning back out towards the edge of the balcony. She didn’t say anything though, but he could see her shaking and fuming and once again he felt like he’d missed something big but didn’t quite know where. “If that’s not the problem, then what is?” he asked, because he didn’t know what was going on anymore. Everything had been fine. They’d both come clean, everyone was on the same page and they’d been happy. Jesse had been happier than he had been in years and he thought- he hoped - that MT would have told him if something was wrong.

“Maybe it’s everything! Maybe this whole thing was a mistake from the start!” MT shouted, and Jesse froze at that.

“What…?” he asked, not able to hide the hurt in his voice. MT flinched at his tone, but still didn’t turn around to face him again.

“I- I’m just saying, it’s- you’ve got the number thing pretty locked down at this point. At this rate you’ll be off the train in no time at all,” she said, an obvious strain to her voice as she spoke, and every word made Jesse’s stomach feel like it was sinking lower and lower. “Maybe… maybe it’d be better if I left. Since you don’t need my help anymore.”

There was a long moment where Jesse couldn’t say anything, feeling tears welling up in his eyes at the mere suggestion. It hurt even worse that he didn’t know what had brought this on, that it just seemed completely out of the blue, right when it finally felt like everything was working.

When he’d been so, so sure that MT wasn’t going to leave him. That he finally had someone who wasn’t his friend for what he could do for them. Who just liked him and wasn’t simply putting up with him under some condition. 

A few seconds passed where Jesse considered slinking off of the balcony. Heading back down to the restaurant and finding the door to the next car, since MT didn’t want him around anymore. He’d told her so many times after all, he couldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to be his friend. He would leave if she asked him to. She didn’t owe him anything, not after everything he’d done.

If this had happened just a few days, a week ago, he would have left without another word.

But they’d gotten past all that!

“Are you crazy!?” he ended up shouting instead, almost surprising himself and definitely surprising MT. Reaching forward, he grabbed her wrist, not tight, she could shake him off without a thought, but a part of him afraid that if he didn’t at least try to hold on she would run away before he could figure out what was happening. MT didn’t turn back towards him, but she didn’t try to pull away either. “I want you around because you’re my friend! Not because you can help with my number,” he insisted. He thought MT knew that.

“Well what if I don’t want to be friends anymore?” MT asked, still facing away from him, her voice hard and impossible to read. Jesse almost let go of her like he’d been burned, but he forced himself to keep hold.

“Why?” he asked back, not able to achieve quite the same hardness to his own voice, but still managing enough that the question clearly surprised MT.

“What?”

“Tell me why you don’t want to be friends anymore,” he demanded, for once not wanting to take something lying down. He didn’t want to just let go of this, not unless MT gave him an actual reason.

“Because it’s pointless!” MT shouted, and he could hear her voice wavering. “You don’t need me! That’s basically what the train’s teaching you, right? Not to just listen to what others are telling you and figure things out on your own? You’d probably get home even sooner if you cut me loose already,” she continued, and Jesse wanted to argue. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, he did still need her and that- that wasn’t even the point. Before he could though, she went on. “And I don’t need you either, or anyone. It’d be better if I was alone.”

There was a long moment where words failed Jesse. He wanted to tell her she was being stupid. There didn’t have to be a point. Every time he tried to speak though nothing came out, any argument he could have made getting drowned out by the insistence in his brain that he should have seen this coming. Of course MT would get tired of him eventually. Of course she would want to leave him. He never understood why she stuck by him in the first place, how could he expect his luck to hold out for so long?

She wanted to leave.

And he should just let her go.

Then his eyes fell to where he was still holding her wrist. Where she hadn’t made the slightest motion to actually pull away from him, despite the fact that she could in a heartbeat. Her arm was heavy like the rest of her, all solid chrome and he wasn’t even holding it tightly. She had to be intentionally angling the arm back so as not to accidentally break away from him.

Like she was just waiting for him to be the one to let go first.

“I’m not as dumb as you think,” he managed finally, seeming to catch MT off guard. “If you really want to leave, I won’t stop you. I hope you know I don’t care about if you can help me with my number or not though. You’re right after all, it’s my growth, and I gotta figure it out myself. Really intense, involuntary therapy, right?” he asked, echoing the explanation MT had given him what felt like ages ago now. She didn’t respond, and he couldn’t see her face, so with a sigh he continued.

“MT, I want you to stay because you’re my best friend and I like being around you. And- and you know what? I don’t think you actually want to leave either. I know none of this is perfect but I refuse to believe you just don’t care about me and Alan anymore,” he insisted. It couldn’t be that. Not after every dumb, terrible, painful thing he’d done and admitted to. She wouldn’t just decide now that enough was enough, when they were so close. And even if he accepted that maybe she really did just hate him now, she wouldn’t abandon Alan Dracula. He hadn’t missed the way she’d only mentioned herself leaving. Saying she didn’t need anyone. MT was quiet for a moment, and he could see the way her shoulders started to slump, all of the fight draining from her form.

“I don’t think you’re dumb,” she mumbled finally, which wasn’t much of an answer one way or another, but it was better than this weird insistence she suddenly had about going off on her own. MT pulled her wrist out of his grip then, and there was a flash where Jesse truly was scared that she was going to run off and he’d never see her again. That he really had been wrong and any of the confidence he’d managed to gain was fool’s hope.

Instead of pulling away entirely, she adjusted the hold so that her hand was clasped in his. The way it perfectly mimicked the human form meant the metal never felt quite as hard as one would expect a solid chrome hand to feel, instead clutching and nervous and lifelike as any person’s would be.

There was a fleeting moment where Jesse wondered what his hand felt like to her, and the only stupid concrete thought he could get out of that was that he hoped it wasn’t too clammy.

“You’re leaving the train, and I don’t want you to stay here forever, fuck that. I know you need to go home, I want you to go home. I just… I don’t want you to be gone,” MT said finally, voice barely above a whisper, and it… it wasn’t what Jesse was expecting in the least. Despite that he could feel everything fall into place, this whole thing making sense and he felt like an idiot for not realizing the problem sooner. For the first time during all of this, he was a little relieved that MT wasn’t looking at him, because he could feel his cheeks heating up in a blush and he wasn’t even sure why. Probably a lot of reasons. All of this felt like a lot. “I know it’s stupid,” she added.

“It’s not stupid,” Jesse insisted immediately, because it wasn’t. “I didn’t know it was bothering you,” he added, receiving a humorless laugh from MT in response. He couldn’t blame her for that.

“Yeah well, neither did I until suddenly it was the only stupid thing I could think about,” she said, bitterness obvious in her voice. “And the only solution anyone has for me is to just rip off the bandage, better to get it over with sooner rather than later, ya know?” MT added, and Jesse was quickly shaking his head.

“No, that’s stupid,” he insisted, and when he tugged on her hand she actually turned back around towards him. It was another dose of relief, that MT was willing to look him in the eyes again, even as it was pretty obvious that she’d been crying throughout all this. Jesse’s first instinct at the sight was to reach over and wipe her face. An instinct he thankfully managed to shove deep down, because all of this already felt like… a lot. A lot and hard to put into words and terrifying in several ways, some of which he couldn’t even name.

“You got a better idea then?” MT asked, and he was pretty sure it was supposed to sound dismissive, but he could hear the desperation tinging her words.

“I mean, I was thinking you’d just… come with me. Back home,” he admitted, because well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t been thinking about what would happen when his number reached zero. He spent a lot of his time thinking about exactly that. It had kind of stopped being a question as far as he was concerned. He’d given up any idea of leaving his friends behind a long time ago.

“What?” MT asked, her surprise obvious as her eyes started darting around the balcony, and it couldn’t be more clear that she hadn’t considered that as an option before. “I- I don’t-” she stuttered, “I don’t know if that’s even possible. If, you know, things from the train can leave,” she finished, and Jesse frowned at that for several reasons. He hadn’t considered the idea that MT might not be able to leave, and he really didn’t want to now.

He also wasn’t a fan of the way she’d called herself a thing in her distress.

“You don’t know that for sure,” he argued, and he could still see the doubt there. “Besides, even if people from the train can’t, you said yourself you’re from the mirror world. That’s different, right? Why shouldn’t you be allowed to leave?” he continued, watching as slowly MT seemed to think it over.

“I-I guess that makes sense,” she said, a part of her still seeming hesitant. “You really want me to come with you?” she asked, face darkening in a blush that still didn’t make sense to Jesse but made him smile all the same.

“Yeah! You’re my friend, I’m not gonna leave you here with the flecks chasing after you,” he said. That was just one of a whole lot of reasons why he wanted MT to come with him, but it was certainly one of the most pressing ones. Finally a real smile stretched over MT’s face, and it was still cautious and afraid, but it was so much better than anything from before.

Then suddenly MT had let go of his hand, and Jesse only had a split second to brace himself before she crashed into him with a hug. He was pretty sure that even with the desperation there she was pulling her strength, or else he would have definitely been knocked to the ground. With this it only took a moment to find his footing and hug her back.

Jesse wasn’t sure how long they spent standing there, but when MT finally pulled back he grinned brightly at her.

“So, it’s a plan then?” he asked, because he wanted to be sure. He hadn’t considered leaving without MT in a long time, and he didn’t want to start again now. Thankfully MT nodded, looking to be on the same page.

“Yeah, it’s a plan,” she agreed, before looking away sheepishly. “Sorry I worried you. Both of you,” she added, reaching over and scratching Snake Dracula on his head. Immediately the shape changing deer slithered over and wrapped around her arm instead. Jesse couldn’t help smiling as MT cooed over the snake-deer.

“As long as you don’t scare me like that again I think we’re good,” he said, MT nodding at that.

He hadn’t noticed when his number had shifted during all of this. He had been too focused on MT, first on just finding her, then fixing the tear between them. Had been holding her hand or wrist throughout almost all of it, so the number was covered up. He quickly noticed the digits on his palm were different now though, and actually taking it in, Jesse found himself stunned as he looked at the number.

26.

“Oh hey! You broke past your starting number!” MT said, having clearly noticed as well. She actually sounded excited, not worried or upset like he’d been afraid of for a moment, and a grin started spreading across his face at that.

“I- I did,” he said, unable to keep the disbelief out of his voice. It was just… the idea of managing to get back to that original number when he first met MT sounded impossible, but he did it. He did it and soon they would get off the train and he was going to bring MT with him. “Thanks,” he added, voice soft and there was so much more he wanted to say than that, but it kinda felt like they’d already said a lot . Maybe it would be best to keep things simple, at least for now.

“Hey, it’s your growth. I’m just tagging along and calling you out whenever you act too much like an idiot,” she said, and Jesse rolled his eyes at that. “And, ya know, you do the same for me. So it evens out,” she added, a tinge of embarrassment to her voice now. It was cute. Ever since he realized how cute she was when she was flustered, back in that car with the giant flowers where they had talked about everything, it was hard for him not to notice.

“Fair enough,” he said, finally starting to feel like things were back to normal again. Flashing her another smile, his eyes glanced back towards the curtain blocking them off from the rest of the restaurant.

“So, you think you’re good to get back to our d-” he started to ask, eyes widening as he cut himself off before he could finish the sentence, falling into a fit of coughing that immediately had MT frowning in concern.

“Uh, you good?” she asked, and he quickly nodded.

“Yes!” he insisted, probably a little bit too fast, voice definitely a little too high pitched. “I uh, think I just- bug,” he said, making some meaningless motions with his hands. MT raised a slow eyebrow at him, which was about the appropriate reaction. Giving one last cough, he tried again. “Anyway, you good to get back to our dinner. Want to go eat food now? I’m down for more emotions if you need but I’m also starving,” he asked, stressing the word dinner to get his brain on the right page. There was no need to be dumb about this, not after they just fixed everything. MT still looked a little skeptical, but she nodded after a moment.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s go eat and then get out of here before anyone tries to make us wash dishes,” she said, and Jesse chuckled at that. It was probably fair though, he didn’t actually have any money, now that he thought about it. If he had to guess though, he doubted many, if any, cars on this train took traditional money anyway. 

Walking over to the curtain, he pulled it aside before giving a deep, dramatic bow.

“After you, mademoiselle,” he said with a flourish, earning a laugh from MT. Alan Dracula was still on her arms, the furry snake actually draped over her arms like a big feathered boa would be.

“Why thank you, kind sir,” MT said, putting on a bit of an accent before walking through the archway. Jesse laughed as he followed after her, and the over the top silliness of it all was almost enough to convince his heart to stop all the stupid junk it was insisting on.

They were friends, and they were eating at a fancy restaurant because they were on a magic train where food wasn’t guaranteed and they were both starving from spending several hours running around chasing a silver monkey through a jungle shrine before this. They cared about each other, but they both already knew that, it was nothing new. Maybe he hadn’t realized just how much MT cared about him, but it still didn’t change anything.

They were just eating together, like they’d done a hundred times before now.

It wasn’t a date.

And if Jesse kind of wished it was, it was probably best that he keep that one to himself for now.