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The remnants of the HYDRA lab had mainly been dismantled without any problems, apart from that one octopus.
But the way Tony was standing in front of a large, complicated-looking machine and cackling like a maniac was a bit disheartening.
Steve walked up to join him and folded his arms, running his eyes across the machine as though that might reveal its secrets to him.
Nope. It still just looked like a mass of wires and metal.
"Um, Tony," he asked, glancing sideways at him in concern. "You are aware that you look a little... totally insane?"
Tony just grinned further, rubbing his hands together. "What did I say?" he was muttering to himself. "I told Fury, HYDRA's got all kind of stuff, and the plans for the temporal loop machine have gone missing, and I just bet that they-"
"Tony! What the hell is that thing?"
The genius glanced at him and waved a dismissive hand. "Shut up, Steve, I can't pay attention to you right now, this is too cool."
"But what is it?"
"Hmm? Oh, it's a time machine."
"What?!"
Steve had jumped and shouted so violently that Bucky appeared at the door.
"Huh?" he asked, brow furrowed in concern. "What's going on?"
"Oh, shush." grumbled Tony, rolling his eyes. "It's not a time machine like you're thinking of. That would be dumb."
Bucky (who had jogged up so he was standing next to Steve) blanched, impressed. "That's a time machine?"
"Kind of." clarified Tony. "It replicates people or objects from the past, based on your DNA." He snorted. "I'd better not touch it, though, or my butler and Dummy'll probably appear."
A sudden light came into his eyes; that crazy, unpredictable light that usually had anyone who knew him running to cut off the electricity and hide the sharp objects. Unfortunately, neither Steve not Bucky had spent enough time with him yet to be familiar with this, and respond accordingly.
Without warning, he grabbed Steve's forearm and pulled him over to the machine, ignoring his shout of 'Tony, wha-', and pressed one of Steve's finger against a sharp little needle.
Presumably he would have explained, had Bucky not tackled him and sent him flying.
"Ow." murmured Steve, ignoring them and sucking on his finger. "Y'know Tony, you could have just asked. And I'm pretty sure my DNA belongs to the government."
For a moment it was inaudible under Tony and Bucky's shouting, and then the machine began to whirr and flicker, and Steve took a step back from it, alarmed. Tony finally struggled upright as Bucky let go, alarmed, and smiled.
"Man, this is cool! The thing with that machine is that it's designed so you can't go back too far, just to your own timeline. But /you/..."
Bucky chuckled. "You'll probably get Davy Dickhead Johnson out of it. He used to pull girl's ponytails, and Steve used to try and punch him for it. Then he'd just get in a headlock, so they had plenty of physical contact."
"And my inhaler." agreed Steve darkly. "Because all the headlocks used to cut off my air and I'd have an asthma attack."
"Well, we're gonna find out."
It hummed and began to shake violently, and the three of them took a step back.
And then it just stopped. No noise, no movement, no nothing.
"Did something go wrong?" asked Bucky, unsure, and Tony pouted.
"Aw. You broke it."
And it practically exploded, all lights and sparks and loud noise, and someone came flying backwards out of it, landing on their back with a loud, confused cry, followed by a ragged-looking fluffy object.
Steve and Bucky exchanged a panicked look before running forwards and kneeling on either side of the still-stunned and very probably perplexed person.
It was a woman, short, with freckles and nearly curled ginger hair. She was wearing one of those awful, floral print dresses that seemed to be all women wore during the Second World War, and high heels. She seemed fairly young, too, probably somewhere in her thirties.
Steve had suddenly become as white as a sheet, and Bucky eyes were incredibly wide, flickering between the two of them.
Tony meanwhile, wandered over to the object and rolled it over with a foot, and then chuckled. "Aw, Steve. It's your teddy. This thing's in the Smithsonian."
"W-Where am I?" stammered the woman, looking around herself in shock and confusion. She had begun to tremble a little.
"Oh, Jesus Christ." whispered Bucky. "Steve, that's your Ma."
Steve didn't reply, one hand on her back to help her sit up.
"Sa- Mrs. Rogers?" he asked, throat dry and voice soft. Her gaze snapped over to him, and then went hazy as she looked him over.
"Do I know you? You remind me of..." It seemed to strike her, exactly who he reminded her of, and she recoiled a little, tugging her arm out of his gentle grip. "Where the hell am I? And what the hell are you wearing?"
"Yeah, that's your Ma alright." nodded Bucky, his casual tone belied by the way he was blinking and still staring at both her and Steve, concerned.
"And who are you?" she asked, voice as sharp as a whip. "You'd better answer quickly, or I swear there'll be trouble."
Bucky sent a quick glance at Steve, who nodded, and brushed some of his hair out of his eyes. "Ma'am, my name is James Barnes. You're in New York, same as you were, only maybe a slightly different part of it."
She stared at him, running over the different parts of his face. "You're Bucky? Little kid across the road who can't keep his trap shut? Little Bucky?"
"Yes, ma'am. And you're Sarah Rogers."
She turned to Steve, unsure. "But... But that makes you...?"
"Steven Grant Rogers." He nodded slowly, and, adversely, she began to shake her head.
"No, no, my Stevie is very small. Thin, ill, bless him. And you're all grown up! He's only six."
"1924?" asked Tony, and received a sharp cutting gesture from Bucky by way of 'Shut up'.
"I grew up." said Steve, after a slight hesitation. His voice was choked.
Her mouth formed a perfect 'O', and she looked around, more focused.
"And how the hell did I get here?"
"Uh, that would be me." interrupted Tony, awkwardly raising his hand. "I'm their friend. Hi. I mean, this isn't my machine, but I'm the one who activated it."
Her expression and her voice hardened. "Are you telling me you guys have a goddamned time machine," she asked dryly. "Because that is a load of bull and that's all I'm saying on the matter."
Tony shrugged, a little sheepishly. "Well, how else are you going to explain how you got to 2014?"
She stopped moving. "What." It didn't even qualify for a question mark.
"Uh, Ma," coughed Steve. "Me and Bucky are in our nineties, long story short, and it's 2014."
She paused, nodded, and then her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted dramatically.
"Well." came Tony's voice. "That was dramatic."
*
"Mrs. Rogers?"
She woke up gently to the sound of her name, spoken in a detached, polite, and almost definatley female voice.
Good. Women were always easier to talk sense to.
When she opened her eyes, she found herself in a room not unlike the hospitals where she had worked, only about a hundred years more advanced.
"Who's there?" she asked, voice sharp, and pushed herself up on her elbow to see a young woman with curly red hair. For a moment she was unable to speak, bug-eyed at the outfit that the stranger was wearing. It was black and tight, running the entire length of her body, and it was partway unzipped to reveal a fraction of cleavage. The woman's stance, though, and her expression, was completely professional and Sarah forced herself to blink hard and get over it.
"My name is Natasha Romanov." continued the young woman, with a brief and very cursory smile. "Nick Fury has asked me to take care of you for the duration of your stay in the future."
Sarah put her hands on her hips, unimpressed, and swung her legs over the side of the bed, brushing the covers neatly back into place.
"And who on earth is that?"
"Director Nicholas Fury is the commander of the government agency that currently employs your son." she was informed, the voice of the woman clinical and cold.
"Well, good for him." murmured Sarah, a little cowed by the idea of her little Stevie working for a government agency. "You're his maid or something, then?"
The woman visibly repressed a smile. "No, I'm actually an agent myself. Steve told us you were part of the suffragist movement?"
Sarah nodded cautiously. "We've had the vote for four years, in my time."
Natasha beamed at her. "Ninety six years, thank you so much. Director Fury's second in command is a woman."
Sarah began to smile back.
Outside, three ears were pressed against the door, two butts were planted on the couch and two pairs of feet paced tirelessly back and forth along the floor. Coulson was trying to keep a professional watch, of course, but he wanted to listen too and he couldn't help but pace nervously, Hill had joined him, Steve and Bucky had lied and said nothing she could possibly do or say would surprise them, such was the strength of her character, and were sat together with their hands intwined. Tony, Clint and Sam, however, were nowhere near so professional, and were listening eagerly to every word said.
The words 'What in the hell do you mean Steve and Bucky are gay', however, reached most ears, and Steve and Bucky cringed instinctively.
"Ma'am, gay couples are allowed to marry in most states now, and homosexuality is completely legal. Besides, Steve and Bucky are bisexual."
Sarah nodded, her face slightly pale from shock, but dealing well. "Ok. I have no idea what that means."
"I'm afraid the list of sexualities has expanded from 'straight' and 'wrong', Mrs. Rogers."
"Well, then, I'm going to need a list."
"What are they talking about now?" whispered Clint, glancing up at Tony, who had the best spot for listening.
"Shush!" motioned the genius, concentrating hard. "World War Two."
A moment passed, and then Sam started laughing unbelievingly. "Oh my god," he chuckled, standing away from the door. "She's amazing, Steve, she just deals with it. 'Ok, there was another war with Germany, and we won. Damn straight.'."
"The races are equal." stated Natasha calmly, and Sarah, whose head was in her hands, glanced up at her.
"Hmm? Like, the two hundred meters and-"
"Black, white, Asian. Equal."
"Oh. Well, that's a good thing, right?"
The agent smiled again, extraordinarily relieved, and Sarah caught her expression and grinned, quicksilver quick and bright.
"What? I'm an immigrant, remember?"
"Oh... shit." said Clint, drawing back off the door to join Sam. "She's coming outside."
Tony just managed to launch himself off in time, straightening his tie as Natasha stalked out - that half-amused look on her face that meant she knew exactly what they had been up to - and was followed by a very dangerous looking woman. Her personality took up a lot more space than her actual body, since she was very small, but her eyes were full of light and curiosity, and her arms were crossed over her chest as though she was walking into a room full of naughty children, and she knew that she was the one in charge.
"Steve." she said sharply, ignoring the fact that she was surrounded by standing adults maybe twice her size, all watching her anxiously. Steve darted over to her quickly, recognising the command for what it was, and looked at her nervously.
She smiled slightly, and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to draw him down far enough to kiss his forehead.
"I love you." she whispered. "I don't know you very well, but I'm proud of you."
Steve relaxed minutely, and smiled back at her, and everyone else felt some of the tension leak out of them.
"And Bucky." she barked, her eyes narrowed disapprovingly. "James Barnes, you get over here."
He gulped and obediently did as he was told, ducking his head purely out of habit.
Sarah clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "What have you done with your hair, you ridiculous boy?"
He glanced up, and forced down a smirk. "Sorry, ma'am. I tie it back a lot."
"You always were a little mess. Still getting into fights, y'cheeky bugger?"
He grinned cheekily at her. "Sure am."
She reached up to smack him lightly around the back of the head, and despite the fact that he had been medically advanced and his pain threshold was so high that he probably barely registered it, he pouted and reached up to rub it. "Ow. You still hit like an angry sailor, Mrs. Rogers."
She jabbed an accusatory finger at him, while in the background Steve started laughing.
"Watch your tongue. You might be an adult now, but if what I hear about you two is true, I'm your bleeding mother in law, so you'd better do as you're told."
"You'd better, Buck." agreed Steve, slightly sarcastically, and she fixed a hairy eyeball on him.
"Don't you sass me, you little shit."
"Hey!"
"Oh, quiet, you are. Always were."
She let go of the pair of them and they straightened up, and she looked around curiously at the rest of the room.
"Well? Is nobody going to introduce themselves?"
The agents glanced at each other and hurried to do her bidding. Clint took the opportunity to wander over to Natasha.
"She's like a cross between you and Molly Weasley." he said, tone awed and hushed. Natasha just rolled her eyes.
"I will forever regret letting you and Phil marathon all the Harry Potter movies, won't I?"
He nodded. "Yup, Ginny."
Her arm darted out and got him in a headlock, her eyes not moving from where Sarah was doing her best to glare down Tony Stark.
"Oh, go away." she chastised. "I know you. You're the idiot who brought me to the future with your stupid machines."
"Steve," whined Tony, turning desperately to where he and Bucky were stood behind her. "Your mom doesn't like me. Tell her how great I am."
She glanced up at the two of them, and they both shook their heads.
"The only thing he's useful for is fixing Bucky's arm." stated Steve calmly, and pushed Tony to the side, ignoring his spluttered protests.
"I'm Sam." introduced the next guy in line. "Sam Wilson. I've been working with your son for a while, and it's an honour."
Something a little evil came into her face, and she smiled appraisingly.
"Oh," she crooned, her eye twinkling. "Stevie. Sam's far less of a mess and a bad influence than your James, and he's very handsome."
Steve, appropriately, went red. "Ma-"
"If you have to kiss a guy, why don't you kiss him?"
Sam beamed at her, and Steve sent him a long-suffering look.
"Ma, I like girls too."
She rounded on him. "Well, the only lady I've met so far is Agent Romanov. And you 'like ladies too', not 'girls'. Don't be rude."
"Yeah," called Clint. "And Natasha's kind of taken."
She calmly elbowed him in the gut and sent him reeling to the floor.
"Talk like you even slightly own me again, and I'll snap your neck."
"Yes, dear." he wheezed.
Sarah, across the room, nodded approvingly with a satisfied little 'Hmmph'.
"He should know better than that." agreed Coulson, his voice calm and unreadable as always. "They've been together six years, and they've been fighting together for seven."
He shook her hand politely, his mild smile making perfect sense to her.
"My name is Phil Coulson, nice to meet you. I manage the SHIELD agents."
"Keep them out of trouble?"
He shrugged. "I try."
"You and me both."
He smiled, that slightly tight smile that made some people think it was fake, and moved out of the way to let the next person through.
"Maria Hill." she said brightly, genuinely unable to restrain a grin. She, like everyone else, had heard about Steve's mother. "I'm the deputy Director of SHIELD. We've heard all about you."
"Really? He's a sweetie when he wants to be." She stared at Maria curiously. "Look, this is going to sound awfully silly, but do all women wear those black suits, because much as they do flatter-"
"No, no. Just standard SHIELD uniform. Better to kick ass in, if you excuse my language."
Sarah smirked. "Honey, I've been kicking ass in heels for years. Just not so openly."
The door opened, and Bruce wandered in, took one long look at the proceedings, and walked back out again.
Sarah caught it, and raised a curious eyebrow. "Who was that?"
"Bruce isn't so good with stress." explained Steve. Sarah just snorted.
"I am rather stressful. He was wearing a soft hooded jacket, though- I want one of them! Do you know how uncomfortable these dresses are? Now, if any of the men want to cover their ears, feel free, but this bra is hell too and I shall declare the future a load of horsefeathers if someone hasn't figured out a slightly less ridiculous system than the monstrosity I'm currently-"
"Oh, we have." assured Maria quickly. In the background, Steve's head was in his hands and Bucky looked on the edge of a hysterical laughter.
"Come on, we'll find you some trousers." offered Natasha, and Sarah happily linked arms with her.
"Ma..." sighed Steve. "You could at least have asked quietly."
"Oh, hush. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they react to the mention of underwear."
Natasha nodded. "Everyone in here," she mused. "Has seen me naked. Except Sam."
They nodded sagely, and Sam blinked in regret.
Sarah and the two girls left the room.
"We've got forty eight hours." stated Tony, somewhat randomly. "By the way. Until she goes back, I mean."
There was a moment of silence.
"I'll start taking bets on what she'll manage to smash." said Bucky.