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Chapter Text

Captain Steve Rogers walked along MIT campus, trying not to react in any way of the people watching him. He made quite the impression with his uniform. He grinned a little to himself when a group of girls stared at him without any shame. See what a little military training could do to a small and thin boy out of Brooklyn.

He was 26 years old and some months ago promoted to Captain. His Dad would be proud. Mom would be too, he knew they watched over him. He had been in some nasty situations back in Iran and Afghanistan but he survived, without major injuries. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure how he managed it. It had to be his guardian angels.

The only thing that hurt was what happened to his best friend Bucky. He lived, Steve had to remind himself more and more often, but he lost his arm. Steve saw him bleeding out in the battlefield more nights than he did not. The pictures weren’t clear in his head anymore. It happened so fast and without warning. The bomb exploded, and the shock wave separated the two friends.

Steve got back on his legs pretty fast. He couldn’t hear a thing, but apart from that he was alright, he hadn’t been that close to the bomb. The two soldiers… well, parts of two soldiers were lying next to him now. None of them was Bucky. He forced himself up and went looking for his only friend.

It probably took him only minutes to find him, but time was a weird thing in war. He couldn’t hear, so he screamed Bucky’s name over and over again, but he neither could hear his voice, nor if his friend was actually there, if he was still alive. When he finally did find Bucky, he let out a dry sob. He saw blood, nothing but blood. His face was full of it and his arm… god, it wasn’t there anymore but all this blood. Steve had to use all his strength not to throw up.

He still lived, and Steve gave himself a promise, he would bring his friend back. He would survive. Bucky saved him every day when they were children, now it was about time, Steve gave something back.

To this day, he had no idea how he managed to get his friend and another wounded soldier back to their camp, how both of them survived. But they did and even if Steve was hounded by his nightmares. He woke up and knew that Bucky lived.

Bucky was also the reason he was in Boston right now. The army granted him a second month leave. He asked for it, after his friend told him about this new project. He would get a robotic arm, financed by the army and produced by Stark Industries. He didn’t want to count that as a win, since Bucky lost his limb but this was the best ending they could have wished for.

That’s why Bucky was here, Steve was confused at first, since Stark Industries headquarters were in New York, but Bucky explained him, that it was Howard Stark’s son building the prosthesis for his second doctor’s degree. Steve knew the name Tony Stark Nobody didn’t know the genius. He was still impressed. He had thought the boy was a lot younger than him, but apparently, he wasn’t, or how could he be doing his second doctorate program?

Right now, though, he was here for his friend Sam Wilson. The man had been in training with him but later decided on an engineering program at MIT, when he got a scholarship. And since he was already here, he would surprise his friend.

His anticipation faded quickly when his eye caught the sight of a young man with brown hair that seemed to struggle to walk. His first thought was that he was drunk or drugged, but he talked to someone on the phone, no slurring in his voice. He had the back to Steve, so he couldn’t see any other indications for his assumption.

“I fucking have no time, Obie! Get your shit done yourself!” Brown hair screamed into the phone. “I’m not building that thing. It’s dangerous in the wrong hands.” The man bent forward, he seemed to be in pain. “Yeah! I know that, and later I found out what a stupid idea that was. The military shouldn’t have it either. So, fuck you.” He jerked the phone into his pants pocket and clenched his shoulder with the other and.

“Fuck, fuck!” He murmured. Steve was now close enough to hear him. “Not now, not hear.” The man said again.
Steve went forward and tapped his shoulder. “Hey, boy, you’re alright?” Brown hairs turned around.

“Oh, great… I’m already in heaven then.” Steve thought the same thing. He was just appreciating the most handsome man he had ever seen. Within milliseconds he had fallen for the deer brown eyes with the gold sprinkles in them before the guy’s eyes rolled back.

He was too slow to catch him, and he fell onto the ground. Steve gasped forward, but the harm was already down. “Hey, man! Wake up!” He said, while feeling his pulse and trying to make out if the man was still breathing. “Fuck, fuck. These things only happen to me.” He murmured while he opened the buttons of his sleeve. He saw a group of students just starring at them and he nearly jumped.

“Call an ambulance!” He screamed at them and turned his attention back to the man. He looked an awful lot like Tony Stark. No wonder he fell in love with that guy after he saw his face for five seconds, not that he ever saw Stark in reality, but Bucky showed him a picture. He was probably a fan or something. He ripped open the boy’s shirt.

Steve knew exactly how to proceed to bring someone back to life. He had done it eight times, only one was successful. Today must be the second. “Come on, man!” He said while pushing his chest. He broke one rip at least, but it didn’t matter. He was trying to save a life. What happened to him? Steve couldn’t smell any alcohol and his eyes only indicated a lack of sleep. That didn’t kill anybody and was probably normal for any student. So, why was this young man dying?

“Hey, Captain! We will take over.” He looked up and saw a doctor smiling at him. “You did great.” A paramedic told him, while another took over the heart massage. They prepared the defibrillator. Steve just stood there and didn’t know what to do. He wanted to help. “Come on, Tony! Don’t do that to me.” The doctor whispered. ‘Tony?’ Steve thought.

Wait, was that actually Tony Stark? How did the doctor know his name? “He’s back!” A paramedic said after they had shocked him for the third time. “Ok, let’s stabilize him and then go. I’m sure Dr. Yinsen wants to have a closer look at that bitch of a heart.” Steve watched how they put an oxygen mask over Tony’s face, how they put him on a stretcher and brought him into the medical car.

“Congratulations Captain, you saved a life today.” He smiled at Steve and shook his hand. “I’m sure Tony and his father will be more than grateful.” Steve couldn’t answer that and just watched the doctor disappear with the ambulance.

‘I want to see him again’ rushed through his head. How did that happen? How could Steve keep his homosexuality so long to himself? He never felt anything towards any of his comrades, and he looked into Tony’s eyes and was lost? Man, was he just that horny or completely in love? Steve was sure nothing in between was even possible.

“Steve! Man, what are you doing here?” Sam ran up to him. “Did you just save Tony Stark? Bucky will be happy about it.” Sam laughed but Steve frowned at him.

“Don’t you think the first important thing is that he will live? And not Bucky?” Sam’s laugh disappeared.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.” Steve let out a breath. “I hate that.” He stared back into the direction the ambulance disappeared into and wondered if Tony would be alright. He was dead for a couple of minutes. This clearly could happen again, right? He needed to know, if Tony was okay. Stark Industries had contacts to the military, he would find out about Tony’s well-being, maybe Bucky would know something.

On the same evening, he found himself in Buckys apartment. Together with Natasha and Sam. The latter had told them about the incident on the campus. “Wow, Stevie. You really can’t have a normal day.” Bucky laughed and gave him a beer.

“Probably not.”

“You saved my limb.” The man laughed.

“Steve doesn’t like that kind of jokes.” Sam failed in whispering to his friend.

“I don’t!” Steve clarified again, staring both men down with his range. “It’s not right, okay? Don’t joke about it. Tony is a young man, whose heart just stopped. He was dead. Completely dead. The medics had to bring him back. It’s not funny.”

“Steve, we don’t…”

“Shut it, James.” Natasha told her boyfriend. “Steve is right, don’t joke about it. Especially you should know better.” Bucky nodded. “Listen, Steve.” The woman said. “I’m friends with one of Tony’s best friend, I see how much it’s bothering you. I’ll ask her what’s going on, first thing tomorrow, but for now try to calm down a little, okay? You saved a life today, time to relax.” Steve nodded and took a sip of his beer. He wouldn’t think of anything else, until he knew Tony would survive that. Trying to bring somebody back to life probably connected forever.

“Oh, now I understand.” Bucky laughed. “You fell for him, no wonder. Met the guy, he’s pretty hot, genius, rich. I would take him, if I wasn’t so afraid of my girlfriend.”

“And hetero.” Sam added smiling.

“Well, actually…” Bucky laughed which made even Steve smile a little.

“Is he right, Captain? Do you have a thing for Tony Stark?” Sam nudged him with his elbow.

“He said one sentence to me before passing out.”

“Did anybody of you guys hear a no?” Natasha laughed. His best friends grinned at him.

“I ship it.” Sam decided.

“He totally swings both ways, by the way.” Natasha kept up his hope. Steve could actually try it. If it was right what they were saying. If Tony actually liked guys… He called Steve handsome, so there was that too, and Steve knew that he was not so bad these days. He was not stupid, not at all. He was a fucking Captain in the army at age 26 that didn’t sound so bad.

But Tony was rich and grew into a totally different class. He probably was an asshole like most of the rich people he had met. Plus, he wouldn’t even notice Steve, within a large group of people. He could have so much better.

And Steve read about Tony’s ... activities. Steve would be back in service in two months. Why was he even thinking about it being possible? That was not the life he was meant to have… Maybe, he should just try to love girls. Peggy was great, and she knew army life…

Chapter Text

Steve had lain awake the whole night. Not only was Bucky’s couch extremely uncomfortable -so he was clearly not staying here for two months-, but, as he had predicted, thoughts about Tony hadn’t left his brain. Even if he doubted Tony would ever be interested in him there was still this question mark if he would make it through. This would be the horror story of his life. He couldn’t have fallen in love with a guy that died shortly after.

In the morning, Natasha had pushed a paper in his hand before leaving for class. ‘General Hospital, floor 6, room 34.’ She was so fast out of the apartment that he couldn’t even say thank you.

“So, you’re going to the hospital?” Bucky asked while they had breakfast.

“Yep… You don’t like the idea?”

Bucky shook his head, taking the last bite of his toast with peanut butter. “No, I like it, but what you’re bringing?”

“What you mean like flowers or chocolate?”

Bucky laughed. “Yeah, something like that. Maybe something not too cliché, plus Tony is a guy, I’m not sure he would appreciate flowers that much.”

Steve sighed. “What then?”

Bucky frowned and thought about an idea while sipping on his coffee. “Let me think, he is a genius, but still 20 years old, so…”

“He’s twenty?!” Steve nearly spilled his coffee on Bucky’s face.

“Yeah? I thought you knew that. And thanks, I like my breakfast with your spit, man…”

“But he’s doing his second doctorate?” Bucky smiled at him.

“When people say that Tony is a genius, they don’t mean a kid that’s great in maths, okay? He’s like Einstein, Elon Musk and… mh Stephen Hawking… but more like in one person?”

“How?” Steve could only ask and Bucky shrugged. He didn’t really care, he would get a pretty great robotic arm thanks to Tony so he didn’t care anymore about the how’s and why’s.

Both had decided that Tony might like some comics, so he stole some of Buckys before going to the hospital.

On his way there he regretted it a little and decided to buy some flowers. He decided on roses, at least they were yellow. He regretted that too when he was in the elevator up into the sixth floor. He hid both presents in his jacket, even if it would kill the flowers. He also hated the fact that Bucky talked him into wearing his uniform. He looked ridiculous in here.

In front of Tony’s door were lots of people. Two security guys, a guy that must be his age, also in military clothing and a woman with red hair. She must be Pepper; the friend Natasha had told him on their evening yesterday. They looked concerned. That wasn’t a good sign then…

“Good morning, Miss, Sirs.” He greeted the people. Pepper smiled up to him.

“Steve, right? Natasha told me you were coming.” Steve scratched his head. Was it creepy he came? What did they think?

The man next to her got up. “James Rhodes, but call me Rhodey…” He gave him a friendly but firm slap on the shoulder. “Thank you for saving my best friend. We own you…”

Steve shook his head. “No, you don’t. It was my duty.”

Pepper laughed a short moment. “You’re really a good soldier.”

“And probably the angel, Tony asked about.” Rhodey added.

“So, he’s awake?” Steve asked maybe a little too desperate.

“He sure is, ready to go. His dad is against it, as are we. He is just in there, together with Obadiah…” James Rhodes spoke out the name with so much disgrace that Steve didn’t even need to ask about the man.

“Obadiah, like Obie?” Steve asked curiously.

“Yeah, Tony calls him like that… Why?” Pepper demanded a little suspicion in her voice, even if Steve didn’t believe it was against him. Pepper scared him a little. She sounded an awful lot like Natasha, that was scary enough.

“He phoned with him, yesterday, before… I mean I didn’t eavesdrop Tony, but I happened to walk behind him, while they talked, and I saw that Tony was in distress… Yeah, well and after that his heart stopped…”

Rhodey’s friendly face changed in a matter of seconds. “I swear Pep, when that man walks out of the room, I’ll crush his skull.” He walked up and down between Pepper and Steve. “I can’t…” He started again but didn’t finish his sentence.

Pepper smiled pitifully and stopped him on track. “Keep calm, James. We cannot help him, when you’re acting like a dumb kid. We won’t get Obadiah out of it, not yet…”

James took a deep breath and stared at the two security guys, that had been watching the scene between the three people. “They’re not really there for Tony.” Rhodey said, probably to Steve but he still didn’t cut the view to the guys. “Well, Obadiah said they were there to protect him, but they’re only there to control Tony and to keep everybody away from him.” Steve frowned, but before he could answer, the doors opened. He had the feeling of getting into something bigger than just a young man whose life he saved.

“See you soon, Tony. And don’t forget the Jericho.” The first man called into the room while walking out. The Jericho? That’s what Tony fought about on the phone, wasn’t it? God damn it, what the hell was that?

“Take care son.” The man behind him said. He sounded different than the other one. It was Howard Stark. He looked and sounded tired, concerned, while the other guy – Obadiah, if Steve guessed correctly – sounded, well happy was an understatement, euphoric fit a lot better.

While Obadiah started whispering to the security guys, Howard Stark came up to them. He looked at Steve. “You’re a friend?” He asked curiously, but with a tired voice.

“Well, Captain Steve Rogers, saved Tony.” Pepper jumped right in before he could answer.

“Oh!” The man forced a smile on his face. “Thank you then, Captain Rogers. We, I own you, so if there’s anything I can do for you, just tell me.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Sir! But no thanks, I’m happy your son is recovering, your company is already doing enough for us.” He reassured the man he had seen a million times on paper, in TV. Steve had always been intimidated by the man behind that billion-dollar company, but now… right in front of him, he looked as small as Tony. Just older and maybe weaker, even when it was Tony’s heart that had stopped.

“You mean for our country?” The man laughed, but again it sounded forced.

“Oh, no… I mean yes of course, Sir. But…” He took a deep breath. “My best friend lost his arm in combat. He’s part of your program for the prosthesis. He’s really happy about it, as am I.” Howard turned back and looked at the door of his son’s room.

“Yeah… Tony is remarkable, but still, you saved him, if you need anything, call me.”

The other man came up to them and laid an arm around Howards shoulder. This man was far more intimidating than Howard. “These two will stay here, so nobody can just go into Tony’s room and bother him while he recovers.”

Steve felt how Rhodey tensed up next to him and how much he disliked the idea of these guys staying with his friend. So, Steve as he was, extremely impulsive, made a decision. “Mr. Stark? There’s actually something you could do for me. I’m here to see Tony anyways… If that’s alright with you I could stay, keep an eye on him and keep him some company. I’m an army guy. He’s safe with me and like that I could learn something about his project.”

Steve knew that he just landed on Obadiah’s death list, if the man had something like that and frankly, Steve was pretty sure he had. He was probably already on the top ten. He could trust his gut and now it was telling him to not trust that guy and to keep an eye on him.

“I like this idea. Tony doesn’t like these guys anyway, so I would really appreciate it, although now, I owe you two favors, Captain.” He turned to the two guys and made them a sign to go, they didn’t move though until Obadiah nodded at them. Howard Stark couldn’t see that, which made Steve even more cautious about that guy.

“Thanks for coming, James, Virginia… I’m happy Tony found himself friends like you.”

James shook his hand. “We love Tony. We keep an eye on him as much as we can.”

“You sure have to leave soon, Air Force is calling, right?”

Rhodey nodded. “They gave me two days, though.”

Howard Stark nodded too.“Alright, have a good day. See you, Captain.” Obadiah completely ignored them, when they walked off.

“Man, Rogers.” Rhodey laughed and clapped on his chest enthusiastically. “You’re a good man.”

Pepper rolled his eyes. “Come on, Rhodey, let’s grab a coffee and our Captain here can meet Tony, without us bugging them.” Rhodey grinned with a bright smile, before disappearing with his friend.

Steve took a last deep breath and knocked on the door. “Come in.” He heard Tony’s voice. He straightened his posture and walked right in.

“Hello Mr. Stark.” He greeted. Tony lifted an eyebrow and snorted with laughter.

“Serious, man? I’m 20 years old, call me Tony.” The corner of Steve’s lips went up. Yes, he definitely liked Tony Stark already. “So, what’s with the uniform? Don’t got any other clothes?” Tony asked after he had invited Steve to take a seat.

“Well, I thought you liked it yesterday.” Steve answered cheekily. Tony bit his lips, while watching all of Steve’s movements.

“So, where is my present?” He changed the subject.

Steve laughed. He did throw his head back, totally losing his shit and while Tony had no idea what was so hilarious, he totally loved the sound and the motions the man was making. Steve wiped away a tear that had come up in the corner of his eye. “Thanks for saving my life.” Tony said after Steve had calmed down.

Steve turned back to face him, smiling softly at the man in the bed. “It was a pleasure.” He bit his lip before opening his jacket and taking out the comics and the roses that had indeed suffered a little. “Sorry… I thought it would be nice and then I believed I was making a fool of himself.” Tony’s eyes softened, so much even that Steve believed he would cry any second now.

“What’s your name?” Tony asked then.

“Steve, Steve Rogers.” Tony took the flowers and the comics.

“You’re literally the first person ever to gift me flowers. Thank you.” He looked a little sad, Steve thought, but there was something that made him believe that Tony loved the fact he brought him flowers.

“You’re okay?” Steve asked because the sad expression was not leaving Tony’s face, in fact he believed Tony was on the verge of tears. “I just thought about my funeral.” Tony admitted without taking the look away from the yellow roses that looked half death. Steve swallowed. He would not talk with a twenty-year-old about death, would he?

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked nevertheless. Tony sighed, finally looking at him.

“My heart is a bitch.” He put the flowers aside and looked at the comics. “Thanks for these, will make it less boring in here.”

“How long do you have to stay?” Tony shrugged and started to leaf through the comics. Steve was concerned. He didn’t know the Stark boy, but something was definitely not right. Tony thought about his funeral, this could not be normal.

“Are you going to die?” Steve asked right away, withholding his own tears. Why was he nearly crying? He didn’t know Tony. He was acting utterly ridiculously. Tony might think he was weird, saving him was one thing but showing up with gifts in the hospital and asking if he was going to die was another big jump forward.

“Not sure.” Tony answered and was actually honest with him. He had told Rhodey and Pep, that it was nothing to be concerned of, just a minor heart attack and the doctors where certain he would be fit again in no time, the truth was far from it. “I need a pacemaker; not sure it will be sufficient.”

“What do you mean by that?” Steve asked. Tony leaned back on his bed, watching Steve with a little smile. He was really an angel, his personal guardian angel that saved him from death.

“I’ve got a heart condition, that much you surely already put together yourself, it’s just… It wasn’t the first time my heart stopped, it happens when my blood pressure increases, my heart is too weak to hold it together, so it gives up. This time it was worse, it got damaged. They wanted to give me a pacemaker a long time ago, I refused… I can’t anymore. And if the pacemaker is not enough, I will need a new heart…”

“You refused a pacemaker?!” Steve was shocked, that thing could prevent a lot of harm and Tony refused it. Was that guy really a genius, cause for Steve it seemed as if he was just a total dumbass.

“Yes.” Tony answered. “You think I’m dumb, but I’m not. My mother died, she had the same condition, not even as serious as it is for me. They operated her, to correct the cardiac defect, but they failed and she died. She could probably have lived with it, you know… But the doctors talked her into the operation.”

“I’m so sorry Tony. God.” He sighed and looked with pity into the direction of the man. “How old were you?”

“I was four.” Tony said without hesitation. “And even if I was a clever boy that age, I just didn’t understand when my father told me, my mom wasn’t coming back. Three years ago, my heart started making serious problems and I just couldn’t… I cannot leave my dad alone.”

“And now?” Steve asked.

“I have to do it, my doctors said the next time it would kill me, so it’s either dying by trying to live, or dying by doing nothing. I’m not that kind of guy to give up.”

Steve smiled again. That sounded good right? And surely operations now were a lot safer than sixteen years ago. Tony would live and when that was over he would ask him out on a date. Yep, he would do that.

Chapter Text

“Can you play chess?” Tony asked. He had seen what harm he had done to the soldier. Talking about your death with a hot foreigner. Stupid. Before his heart stopped yet again, he had been better in his flirting game. “My Dad brought it along, and well, you’re the only person here right now.”

That gave him a little smile from the blond man. “I know how to play, but I sure as hell will be lost against you.”

“Let’s give it a shot.” Tony crossed his legs and tapped once on the bed. “Take that tight jacket off and have a seat.” Steve just followed his direction and helped Tony sat up the game right after. “I will be kind to you. We can play without a clock.”

“Why is you saying that only more pressuring?” Steve murmured. “You want me to start?” He wondered when Tony turned the board around, white now in front of him.

“Suits you better than me…” Tony whispered with a little grin on his lips.

They had played three rounds, Tony winning all of them, although he really had tried to let Steve win the last round. However, he underestimated the soldier. He recognized Tony’s tricking within three plays and shot him a glance. “No need for pity. Give me your best.” He had told the genius, so Tony won the last round too.

“How’s James doing?” Tony asked when putting the board aside.

“Bucky?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, I mean, I needed your name to make the connection, but with that and his description of you, I connected the dots.”

“He’s great, well… I just arrived yesterday, so you probably know more than me.”

Tony smiled again, a little sad, though. “I like him. He’s a great guy, funny, honest. Straight forward, but still sweet enough to get Nat.”

“They’re fantastic together, I mean, I mostly know her through video calls. When I last departed, they were still only in the dating phase but coming back and knowing someone’s having his back is soothing.”

“Yeah… you’re right. Did he tell you, that they met at my party? And that’s where I saw him with his injury. He gained a new limb and a girlfriend on one night.”

Steve nodded once. “He did, although I still don’t know how he ended up at your party.”

Tony laughed once, and his whole face lifted up with it. “It was a big party… It was probably because of Sam… I’m the assistant of one of his profs, and I gave a lesson on his class one day, the day of the party and I invited the whole bunch. Sam wasn’t sure he could bring him along without asking, but he knew Rhodey, you met him, right? Outside, the other military guy, Air Force.”

“I did, yeah. Seems to care a lot about you.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Anyways, Sam did a training with Rhodey once. They’re friends now. Rhodey told him, the more the merrier… So that’s how I found your stray dog on my party… And frankly, he didn’t look so good back then…”

Steve shook his head, remembering the first months of Bucky’s recovering. At first, he cried all night, pleaded to god… not because of his limb but he pleaded to die. He had other injuries that pained him but mostly his limb hurt him, the one missing. For weeks they put him on morphine.

After he had been able to bear it without the drugs, he stopped talking. He was trapped in his mind and wondered how he was still alive, and four of them weren’t anymore, but he was. He wished to exchange his life for another one.

Right after he started blaming Steve, and that’s when Steve decided to go back to Afghanistan. He knew then that he couldn’t help. He left Bucky with Sam being there to rescue him if it was really needed. They even lived together for a while and Steve felt relieved.

On his next visit, he and Nat were already dating, and he saw how Bucky finally found his smile back. Not all the time, but he was still there. He would never be the same, but maybe he could go back to enjoying and really living his life.

In the meantime, he had already met Tony, only then nobody had told Steve about the chance of a prosthetic arm, probably because if they had told him about it, he wouldn’t have gone to the next mission.

“He’s in a better place now.” Tony interrupted his thoughts.

“Thanks to Nat, Sam and probably you. He talks about you a lot, only about the robotic arm but I’m sure there is more to it.”

Tony laughed again. That must be the most beautiful sound Steve had heard in all his life. “You make it sound like he’s hitting on me. Natasha would rip me into pieces. But yeah… we talk a lot. I talked him into therapy…”

“Thank you, for being there for him. He needed people, but at that time… I was the wrong person.”

Before Tony could answer that, and telling Steve he definitely hadn’t been the wrong person, that just other people had had a better understanding of what had been happening, there was a knock on the door and right after, a bunch of people walked in.

“Wow, Stark. I hope you’re not just replacing me with just the next soldier that hits on you.” Bucky greeted the genius.

“You’re irreplaceable, Rapunzel. You know that.”

Bucky grinned wide at him, before his eyes dropped to the yellow roses that Steve had put in a glass of water. “I thought we talked about not bringing flowers to a guy.” Steve’s cheeks flushed within seconds.

“Leave him alone, Buck.” Sam told him. “Steve’s just a gentleman as always.”

“Although we’re better to you Tony, we bought burgers.” Nat claimed.

“Nat asked me if they could come along, I hope that’s fine?” Pepper asked.

“Just give me a burger before Doc Yinsen comes to rip my head off.” Tony laughed.

“You know I have a nose, young man.” The named doctor told him an hour later when he checked on Tony. The scent of fast food would probably stay in the room forever. The doctor listened to his chest and checked what the heart monitor had been recording over the day.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Tony grinned.

The doctor put the stethoscope back around his neck. “I planned on telling the nurses to give you an extra pudding for dessert, but I just changed my mind.”

Tony scoffed and crossed his arms. “You’re a cold-hearted man, Doc.” The doctor glanced around the room, looking at the six people sitting around. Tony locked eyes with Pepper and decided it might be easier to let the doctor update them. “You can talk free around them, Doc.”

Dr. Yinsen sighed. “I know I can’t force you, but if we don’t get you a pacemaker now… I’m not sure you’re going to see your 21st birthday. Also, that would give us time to cure you completely, or at least to make sure you can live with that thing till you’re a hundred years old. I really don’t want to transplant you… I don’t wanna hope for the death of another person so you can live.”

“Give me some time… I usually don’t let people so fast into my heart.” Tony joked around, but nobody laughed with him. He wasn’t surprised, nobody ever did, he was the only one finding it funny to joke about his death.

“Tony, honestly… What the hell?” Rhodey exclaimed.

“I will see you tomorrow Tony… Please, don’t throw your life away.” When the doctor left the room, the conversation they were having before his arriving left with him.

“It’s worse than you told us… I mean we knew, Tones… Because that’s just the way it is with you… but this… Did you hear what he said? Your birthday is in six months.” Pepper raised her voice first.

“I can’t believe this…” Rhodey got up. “Why again, did I search for you, three months?”

“That’s unfair, Rhodey.” Tony sighed. “I will forever be graceful… But I don’t know, okay? It’s fucking risky and I rather have six months than nothing.”

“It’s less than six months.” Natasha answered.

“Thanks for the input, Romanoff.” Tony sneered at her.

“Rhodey, listen… The last one, was… I got lucky.” He glanced at Steve, who didn’t know what to say, he knew since this morning that Tony could possibly die, but seeing his friends, his best friends staring him down, near to tears, that made it scaring real. “I need a night or two to think about it…”

Pepper sighed. “Fine. I don’t know what you’re still thinking about, but it’s your decision, and I will be by your side, whatever you decide.”

“Yeah, me too.” Rhodey whispered. He took it worse than Pepper, he didn’t even try to hide his tears or to stop them. “You want someone to stay the night?”

“I can stay.” Steve told him. “I’m pretty sure that seat his more comfortable than Bucky’s couch.” That eased the atmosphere at least a little bit. And Tony’s best friends seemed to need a little time off to recollect their emotions.

It was only short after that everybody said their goodbyes and left the two men alone. But yet again, there wasn’t a new conversation coming up. Tony just couldn’t bear the silence that was only broken by the beeping of his heart monitor.

“I was kidnapped, a year ago.” Tony whispered into the room. “I mean, I was before… in the US and every time, I was able to escape myself.”

“What?” Steve could only answer. “You were kidnapped multiple times?”

Tony shrugged. “I’m worth some billions. Genius kid whose dad owns the biggest and best weapon company in the US, I’m the only heir there is. I’s common knowledge that I build a lot of that stuff. It happened once when I was a little kid, my mom was still alive then. Dad worried back then. After her death, it happened another three times, at ten, twelve and fourteen years old. He panicked much more then. Nobody there to calm him, comfort him. He paid every time, but none of them ever set me free after.” A cocky smile appeared in his face. “But I was too clever, I escaped myself.”

“Why didn’t they kill you after they had had the money, if they didn’t want to give you back?”

Tony turned to face Steve in his seat. “I am worth more than that, they all realized that pretty fast.”

“And what was with the last one?”

Tony rested his head on the pillow. “It happened about two years ago. I was in Afghanistan with my Dad, presenting a new bomb… It was the first time he brought me along, also the last one. On our way back to the airport, they raided our convoy. Five soldiers died, three lost a limb and I was missing. I prayed my Dad made it out, but I thought they killed him.”

“What happened then?” Steve asked, trying not to picture the situation in his head.

“I was held in a cave… Just a couple of weeks before I had found out about my heart condition and that was probably why my Dad wanted me to come along, so he could keep an eye on me. He’s still blaming himself. But what was funny or rather weird, they didn’t want anything from me… No money, no weapons. It seems as if I was just there for their pleasuring.” He sighed and took a deep breath. “I really thought my Dad was death and that Obie took over the company and he believed I was dead too. Days past, weeks did. I tried to think about a way to come out. I had three plans, all failed… they still didn’t kill me. I knew they would, eventually but they seemed to be waiting for something.”

A big smile appeared on Tony’s face, while there still dropped a tear out of his eye. “When I believed it was over, when I was at my lowest and my heart was giving up… Military was there to save me, or rather Rhodey. He organized the search for me, and he got promoted right after. I would be dead without him. I cried nasty tears in his arms and another round when I embraced my father.”

“How come, I didn’t know that?” Steve wondered.

“Nobody did. When the public started to wonder where I was, Obie told them I was taking some time off, because I worked too hard in the last time.”

Steve frowned and through his body went a shudder. Something was so damn off with that story, but he couldn’t put a name on it, not yet.

“So even in the military it was kept a secret?”

“Yep. Rhodey told his general who let Rhodey pick out the guys he wanted for that mission. They were thirty or something. The soldiers that got away from the attack on the convoy were sworn to silence. But that’s why Rhodey is so pissed at me. He saved me, and I’m throwing his gift away.”

“He’s not wrong, but he just doesn’t want to lose his best friend, it’s not about the fact that he saved you. He would do that again, every day if necessary. He loves you and wants you to live.” I’ve known you for a day, and I want you to live. He didn’t say that, but frankly he couldn’t imagine Tony to be gone within the next months. His heart broke only at the thought of it.

Chapter Text

Sleeping on the chair wasn’t a problem for Steve. It was way more uncomfortable than Bucky’s couch that much he had to admit, but he wasn’t complaining. If necessary, he could sleep while standing up and bombs flying over his head. Hearing Tony’s breath and the little sounds his heart monitor was making, was oddly calming and he fell fast asleep.

Tony, on the other hand, stared at the ceiling. The noise was getting to him. Last night, he had still been unconscious but now, he was wide awake. No sleep to come. Only him and his thoughts.

He knew that it was completely irrational to be afraid of the operation. Dr. Yinsen was the best cardiologist one could have, and Tony trusted him, usually. But giving his life into the hands of someone else wasn’t something he liked since Afghanistan.

He had been on the mercy of those terrorists and only Rhodey and his team were able to save him, and after, there were the weeks his father forced him to stay in the hospital. He had to give up his control. For months, he didn’t not only have to fear his life, but he was nowhere in control of it. He couldn’t have that again, could he?

He shivered only by the thought of it. Absently, he could hear and feel how his heartrate was rising and his blood pressure with it. He wouldn’t have a panic attack right now and right here? Next to this utterly beautiful human being. No, that was not going to happen.

He tried to calm his breath down, but the harm was already down. He felt sweat on his forehead and how his hands slightly started to shiver. It was a little dark in her, wasn’t it? And then, there was already a nurse walking into the room.

“Hi Tony.” She whispered with a soothing voice. “Are you good? Do you need anything?”

“Can you give me something to sleep?” He asked, knowing he wouldn’t calm down if he wouldn’t fall asleep, and he wouldn’t fall asleep without calming down, which was only possible by giving him drugs.

“Yes, Dr. Yinsen instructed me. He thought you would probably ask. I will come back with an infusion, just a moment.” It took her about five minutes before the sleep drug was floating his blood. “Good night, Tony.” She told him and Tony only smiled, closing his eyes.

When Steve woke in the morning around 7 a.m., he wondered a little that Tony was still fast asleep. Usually, people didn’t sleep well in the hospital, right? He thought that especially Tony wouldn’t be an easy sleeper more so given the talks he had yesterday. But he wouldn’t wake him. He took the comics he had brought along yesterday and started a to read.

Tony was still sleeping, when the nurse brought breakfast. “Is it normal that he’s still sleeping?” Steve couldn’t resist asking.

She smiled at him. “Yes. My colleague gave him an infusion late at night.” She took off one of the multiple bags hanging next to Tony. “It ran out probably an hour ago. He should wake up soon. And he should eat after, Dr. Yinsen will come for a check-up around 10 o’clock.”

Steve only nodded once to her. “Outside is a coffee machine that you can use, and you can buy yourself something to eat down on the second floor.” She informed him, before leaving.

“Thanks.” He only answered. And the moment she had left the room, his stomach started growling, he should probably get something to eat before Tony would wake up. At least than he wouldn’t wake up alone and Steve could maybe talk to him about the operation.

“So, young man.” Dr. Yinsen entered the room after a knock. Steve and Tony just both had finished their breakfast, and Steve hadn’t yet been able to talk to him about anything. “I heard you didn’t sleep so well last night.”

“Which didn’t surprise you, since you gave her the instruction to give me the infusion.” The doctor only smiled down to him, without further comment.

“And how are you feeling apart from that?”

“Nervous, anxious…” Tony sighed, nodding once to himself. “I will allow it, the operation. I’ve no choice at the end.”

“That’s a great decision. I have to inform you about the risks…”

“Bah, no. I’ve heard them a million times, don’t make me change my decision, just give me a paper to sign.” Dr. Yinsen rolled his eyes at him but had already a paper ready to get Tony’s consent for the surgery.

“I would like to do it next Monday, so you have about a week to rest, you will stay here for the time, alright?”

“Nope.” Tony answered fast. “I’ll go home, could be the last time I see home, okay? I promise I won’t do anything dangerous. I just want my bed, seeing my dots one last time, my Dad and my friends. I’m leaving when you bring me the papers, I’m feeling good, perfect, really.”

For a moment, Steve saw how the doctor wanted to push Tony to stay, reason with him. But then he just nodded. “I’ll bring you some papers. You need to take some pills, though. A nurse is going to free you from the bags and the dots on your body.” He sighed and took a really deep breath. “Please be careful boy, I want you to live, okay?”

Tony stared up to him and nodded once. “That’s the whole point of this story, right? I wanna live.” Dr. Yinsen nodded and left the room.

“You want me to call somebody to pick you up?”

“You don’t have a car?” Tony wondered.

“No, I came her by foot… It’s only 30 minutes from Bucky’s home.” Tony laughed at this.

“My car is still on the campus…” He muttered.

“I could go and take it?” Steve suggested. “Or you can allow me to call your friends, or your Dad?”

“Take my bag there, there are keys on it. It’s in the first parking spot there is, I think you walked past it when you were there, it’s an Audi, can’t miss it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah go, the faster you’re there, the faster I get out of here.” While rolling his eyes, Steve left the room, still in hurry. He didn’t want Tony to wait, in the end he would walk home or call a cab instead of waiting.

“You’ve got a nice home…” Steve said, laying down Tony’s bags in the entrance.

“You said the same about the car.” Tony grinned, walking right into the living room to sit down on the large couch. It could probably fit around ten people, at least. Twenty soldiers would be dying to sleep together on that thing.

“Well, it’s an Audi Spyder… I was actually afraid to drive it.”

“That’s why it took you so long!” Tony whined and switched on the TV. “I love that car, I have another one down in the garage, I wouldn’t have killed you, if you would have driven a little faster.

Steve only rolled his eyes again and sat down on the couch too. “So, who should I call to come to look after you? Or do Pepper and Rhodey live here?”

Tony snorted once. “I lived with Rhodey when I started at MIT and he will gladly tell you, that he won’t ever do that again, and Pepper would directly laugh at your face for only thinking we could do that. I used to bring people here. You know the weekends… I’m not doing that anymore… So, I’m usually alone.”

Steve frowned. He wasn’t sure he got that information right, was Tony implying that he brought people in for sex? That would support the rumour of him being a playboy. But the Tony he met now, knowing him for only a day, well two if one would include their short interaction before he pretty much died in his arms, that Tony didn’t seem so playboy-like.

“What do you mean?” He asked directly. Tony was definitely more of a straightforward kind of guy, so was Steve. That prevented miscommunication.

Tony shot him a confused look. “You know, people I picked up at bars, parties… Hook-ups Steve, casual sex. Ever heard of that?” The smaller man looked at him as if he was asking if Steve even knew what sex was.

“I know, I know. I had sex, okay… Plenty.” He cleared his throat and straightened his posture.

“Had?” Tony laughed. “You stopped having sex, why would you do that?”

“Why did you?” Steve counter questioned to get out of it.

Tony crossed his arms and looked back at the Tv without answering. It was the replay of a basketball game, some kind of greatest plays ever. Steve was pretty sure Tony had no interest in basketball but didn’t want to switch because that would mean he was purposely evading his question.

“I try to keep my head down in the army.” Steve answered first. Hoping Tony would get the message without really getting it. He wanted Tony to understand, but like that he couldn’t prove it, right? He never used the word.

The only answer he got at first was the sound of the television. He heard how Tony tried to breath calmly as if he would disappear when he was just silent enough. Steve gave him time, knowing what Tony had already been through, it probably wasn’t the nicest story. And nobody could force him to tell it.

After some minutes, Tony switched off the TV but still stared into it. “The last time.” He started. “The last time I was with someone, here or generally with someone, that was the moment I found out about my heart condition… well, I realized something was wrong.”

He made a pause, but Steve had the feeling he should better not be saying anything, for now.

“I was in a compromised position, I mean… for my condition and for…” He sighed. “Damn it, a guy was sucking me off, okay? Whyever you are afraid to let people know you are into guys, it’s not a problem for me, alright? And I won’t tell a soul.”

Steve lips curled up a little, especially because Tony had decided to look back at him and the look in his eyes. He had seen it before, in Bucky… When a guy in a bar had made homophobic insults and even tried to attack him… His best friend had switched into killer mode within seconds and Tony’s eyes where just telling the same story.

“Back to me. Far more important than the homophobic army shit.” He scratched his head. “I was, I thought I was coming. You know, heart beat faster, vision got a little blurred, legs weak… because whatever happened after, he was a great at sucking cocks, anyways. I did not come… I passed out.”

Tony’s voice got more silently when he restarted talking. “I was lucky that day… My fellow partner probably freaked out and ran away. I woke up again, but I felt as if I was still not okay. I called the ambulance, and I passed out yet again just after finishing the call. Next time I woke up I was in intensive care; my Dad was holding my hand, and was crying some ugly tears.”

“I’m sorry Tony, that must have been very traumatic.”

Tony smiled for a second. “Well, you see. My life is never boring. It’s not as if I didn’t want sex or even a relationship… Since that and short after my abduction, I’ve got some serious trust issues.”

“As you should.” Steve told him. “I’m sorry that I asked, that’s private and not my business.”

“I asked too. I would probably do the same if I was in the army. I like girls too, so that would be easier for me, but giving your answer I think that’s not the case for you.”

“Nope. Not that I didn’t try… I mean, girls are beautiful human beings, but that’s about it.”

“You can stay here, if you want.” Tony proposed than out of nowhere, probably to get them to talk about other things. “I mean, I’ve got spare rooms, with actual beds… it’s more comfortable than any couch could be. Stark promise, and for free of course, Bucky will be here a lot of time and well, you can do whatever you want, of course but at least you would have a bed to sleep in…” He rambled.

“Serious?” Was Steve’s only answer. “I mean, I would be a stranger in your home, your safe place…”

Tony switched back on the TV. “You saved my life.” He said casually and swiped through the programs before landing on a cooking show. “You can choose out of two free rooms. Someone cleans the house every week, and groceries are delivered on Tuesday and Friday, if there’s something you like or need, put it on the list. There’s a tablet in the kitchen.”

“How much?” Steve asked.

“Told you, for free. Spend some time with me, don’t let me think too much of the operation. And you’re good.”

“Tony… I can’t live here for free, and eat, drink… I can’t take that.”

“You can, you just don’t want to.” He gave Steve an up and down look. “Take it as a thank you for saving me, okay?”

“I would gladly do it again if necessary. I don’t need to be paid for that.”

“Technically, I’m not paying you. Just take it, Steve, please. It won’t hurt me the slightest. I’m a billionaire’s son, soon to be billionaire. As for in six months. So please, keep me company.”

“Okay.” Steve gave in. “Thank you, and I look forward to keeping you company.”

Chapter Text

“Come again?” Bucky asked, while grabbing his shoulder with force and dragging him so they had to look each other in the eye. “You’re moving in with Tony? That small Stark boy, the little genius, who pretty much died two days ago?”

Steve sighed and restarted packing his bag. He hadn’t put so much out of it yet, but it still was a real struggle to fit everything again. “I’m not moving in with him.” He clarified.

“Okay, teach me. How exactly do you call the fact that you pack your stuff to go live at the house of someone else?”

Steve threw his hoodie on the bag. “I have an apartment in Brooklyn. I’m here because of you, okay? I would have stayed here anyways, okay? Your couch is shit, and I’ve no interest in listening to your sex life with Natasha. I heard it once, I’m still not over that trauma, okay?”

“That wasn’t the usual procedure.” Bucky mumbled but his face definitely changed the color dramatically fast, and he couldn’t even look into Steve’s eyes, which happened only rarely.

“Thanks. I don’t need any more details. Anyways, it’s for free.” He closed his now finished bag and looked back to his friend. “But most importantly, I like Tony. I really do. He needs a friend, and although he’s got some great ones, they don’t have time right now. He’s afraid, I try to support him, no one should be alone for this.”

Bucky didn’t answer him right away, but Steve read in his eyes that his friend was hiding something. He wanted to tell him to not do it, to not get attached, while of course both of them knew Steve was way passed that point. He always got attached to fast, but this time… this wouldn’t be a mistake.

“You’re getting into something that’s too big for you, I don’t want you to get hurt in the process, or after.”

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and pretty much stared his friend down. “If there’s something you wanna share with me, then spill it out and don’t make such a fuss.”

“He’s dying Steve.” Bucky whispered.

His friend only blinked a few times at this statement, he didn’t know what to make out of that.

“Nat told me… She talked with Pepper. They don’t know what’s wrong with his heart, putting in a pacemaker is ridiculously easy nowadays, it shouldn’t take longer than an hour, but they want to have a closer look at it… They’re playing Russian roulette with his life. Tony knows that. Everybody knows. The chances of him dying are way higher than him even living for another year.”

Steve really wanted to process that message, but he would do that later, alone. Right now, there was another message pretty much blinking in front of his eye.

“So, you’re saying that because chances are high he won’t make it through, he doesn’t deserve my support?” Only while talking, Steve realized how his voice had turned a little higher and he actually was getting angry.

“Fuck! No. Don’t fucking twist my words!” Bucky screamed at him. “I love Tony, not only because of the prosthetic but also because he helped me through a really dark time. I would give my life for him, if I could. But you are my friend and you’re sensitive. He has people to look after him, a bunch of…”

He made a pause and his voice got lower and lower with every word he said. “You’re gonna hurt yourself. I know you, Stevie.” He grabbed his shoulder again, this time a lot softer. “You’re head over heels for him and I don’t blame you. He’s a good one, and he deserves better, but you’re going to kill yourself with that.”

Steve wasn’t angry anymore, but he still shrugged off Bucky’s hand. “I learned to not live too far into the future. You should know. I’m a soldier, where’s my guarantee that I’m coming back home the next time?”

His friend couldn’t answer that and Steve shouldered his bag. “I rather have a little time with people I like, love… than have nothing at all. I would regret it, if I wouldn’t get to know him better. See you, Buck.” He walked to the door and turned around again before leaving. “Tony told me to invite you guys for tonight. He wanted all his friends around, eating some take-out, playing games.” Steve nodded once to himself. “But you probably don’t want to get attached.”

“Damn it!” Bucky murmured to himself when Steve had left his apartment.

Steve had tried to keep his shit together since he left Bucky’s home. On the drive back to Tony, he turned on the radio as loud as he could, he wanted to shut up his thoughts. He knew was a lost case.

He stood by what he said, even if Tony would die soon, he rather has some time with him than none. But now there was this ugly picture circling in his head. Tony in a coffin, his dad in front, crying like a baby. His friends around trying to withhold their tears because Tony would laugh at them, but they wouldn’t be able to keep it together. Next to the coffin his picture, in Steve’s mind it was him with a big smile and that old Stark Industries hoodie he had on when Steve picked him up from the hospital.

He knew already now that Tony’s death would break his heart, but nothing could bring him to the point of not spending time with the genius. He was alive now, right? Nobody lived forever, all of his friends could die soon. People had car crashes all the time. People were even murdered, or they could get sick. Why should he dwell on that when they were all there, in the present?

There was one thing, though, he knew for sure; Tony was worth all the pain he could imagine. So, Steve tried to be his usual self when he arrived back, and Tony gave him a room tour. Steve had insisted Tony should stay on the couch, but the kid ignored him completely.

“And that’s my personal paradise.” He ended the room tour down in the garage. Steve had been blown away by the fact that his bedroom was probably five times as big as the one he had in Brooklyn and that he had his own bathroom, but this… This was so much more, and he felt as if Tony had just given him the keys to his heart.

“Wow.” Was in fact the only word leaving his mouth. The garage downstairs was… It was huge, he couldn’t even compare it to anything. It wasn’t clean at all but… it seemed oddly comfortable for a place that was mostly made out of metal.

There were two cars, adding the one he just drove, Tony must have three. There was that big workbench and in the middle was a huge table with three monitors and a laptop. To his right was a couch assembling and a TV, a little kitchen place. Steve was sure behind one of the doors was a bath, so Tony could pretty much live in here.

“Hey! U, Dummy? Where are you guys?” Tony called into the room and seconds later there were two… robots? Were they robots? Well, ‘they’ came straight to them, and they made blipping noises and Steve thought he was losing his mind but they kinda sounded happy.

“Yep, Daddy’s home.” He patted their heads, and was laughing as if nothing in the world could bother him. Steve was completely falling in love with Tony, and nothing would make him regret it. “Meet my new friend, Steve. You gotta be kind to him, he’s a captain in the army and he saved my life.”

One of the robots came with his claw and picked at his ribs. “That’s Dummy. You have to pet him, or he won’t stop.” Steve did as he was told, still trying to figure out if he wasn’t in a weird science fiction movie.

“Do they understand what you say to them?” Steve asked curiously.

“Usually. They’re like dogs, especially the one finding himself a new dad. That means with the right training they listen; without, they forget the rules the moment they see a cat. Dummy’s not missing training but coding from my part, and the cat thing is something he does whenever he feels like work is boring or he knows better.”

“He knows better?” Steve asked confused.

“Yes. They’re AIs, artificial intelligences… but a little rudimentary. I’m working on it. I built them for my first PhD.”

Steve smiled fondly at him. “You know what? Not even for a second, I could forget you’re a genius, never. But the fact that you’re only twenty and working on your second PhD, that’s shocking, and I only remembered it after seeing this. You’re remarkable, Tony.”

“Try my best.” Tony whispered while his checks got a little rose color on them. It made him look a lot cuter than he already was. It was unfair how Tony was cute and hot at the same time. God should have made that impossible to happen.

“You’re gonna tell me what James told you that made you so depressed?” Tony changed the subject while leading the way back upstairs.

“I’m what?” Steve asked.

“You tried to hide it, but since my condition I got pretty good at reading people’s faces. You looked like Rhodey when he found out about my heart problem.”

“Bucky told me something.” Steve admitted. In the living room, Tony fell back on the couch.

“Ah. He gave you the talk. Alright, he told you, you’re making yourself miserable by being friends with me.”

Steve sat down too. “He didn’t use those words, but that’s what he implied… Although that’s not the reason for my ‘depressed look’ if you wanna call it like that.” He sighed. “Is it true that you’re probably gonna die? Even with the operation?”

“It is.” Tony admitted within a second. “And don’t ask me why I didn’t tell you. I hardly know you and you had just saved my life. I didn’t want you to think it was a waste for trying.”

“Don’t say that!” Steve spit out. “Don’t.” He whispered than. “It’s not. Never. Even just for a day, it’s never a waste.”

“So, what do you think about it?” Tony asked then.

Steve shrugged. “To be honest, on one side, it changes nothing; I still want to get to know you, be your friend, and on the other side it changes everything because I already can’t imagine a world without you. And yeah, I’ve known you for two days, but I know you through Bucky, a little with Nat and Sam. Every one of them likes you, and you’re so nothing like the way the medias pictures you.” He paused and took a deep breath. “You deserve better, Tony.” He used the Bucky’s words.

Tony had a bitter smile on his lips. “I’m sure, you’re the greatest Captain they have in the army.”

“That’s why you said that to Dr. Yinsen.” Steve ignored the praise.

“I say a lot of things to him.”

“When he said, he wants you to live, and you answered that this was the point of the story, that you wanna live.” Steve swallowed once. “But you don’t know if you will, right? This is not about you now wanting the operation… you just believe it won’t change a lot.”

“Well. It is about me being afraid of this minor operation, but maybe yeah… It’s probably less about the operation itself, and more about what they will find… if it will be curable, if I die soon… He prepared me that there’s a possibility I need a new heart…”

Tony sighed and leaned back so his head lied on the couch headrest. “How could I wish for someone to die, so I could live another ten, if I’m lucky 15 years? They will need a young heart… The mere thought makes me sick. And even if I get one, I need a new one again and again, but I won’t get one at a point. It’s like as if we were delaying my death only by pure luck.”

Steve didn’t answer right away. At first, he had to think of what to say, he had faced death often enough in his life. His father died in Iran when Steve was only four years old, and his mom died when he enrolled in the army. She had had lung cancer.

His parents had been too young to die. The soldiers he saw dying on the battlefield were even younger, but Tony decided to set a new record. He was twenty years old. What did that age even mean? He was hardly a grown-up. That hardly was a quarter of an average lifetime.

“You’re not dead now, right? And there’s always a chance it’s something fixable.” He finally answered and decided to go even a little further. “And I refuse to believe that God would have given you your genius mind if you wouldn’t be able to put it to use.”

“You believe in God?” Tony asked silently.

“I try to. It helps to cope with all the shit happening around, you know?”

Tony smiled at him. “Will you pray for my soul when I die?” He asked, and a part of Steve had wished for Tony to say it with a cheeky tone in his voice, a naughty smile on his face. But he was dead-serious, literally. Steve really wanted to cry.

Chapter Text

The week till Tony’s operation passed rather quickly and so did Steve’s first week in Boston.

When his friends had come over on Wednesday, Tony had put a well-trained smile on his face. Nobody would have been able to imagine what was actually going on in his mind, maybe some of them knew he was hiding his emotions but they could never prove.

Steve met people he had heard of before but never met. There were Thor and Loki who immigrated from Norway and their father was apparently a big man in electricity business. Steve didn’t really get it because Thor talked rather extraordinarily and quickly, and his brother didn’t talk at all. Steve would probably ask Tony later.

Then he met Clint. He was best friends with Natasha since they were kids. Apparently, he was pretty sportive, he got into college with a scholarship. He played the Quarterback, and everybody predicted he would go into the NFL, but Clint only uses it to get a degree and he chose Boston to be around Natasha. He was a nice guy, down to earth, funny too. Steve could get used to him.

The last new face he met was Bruce. At the beginning their conversation was pretty awkward because the second genius in the room felt rather out of place. He was definitely not a crowd person, pretty shy and silent. But when Steve managed to get words out of him, he knew instantly what a brilliant man was behind those glasses.

He sometimes shared a lab with Tony, usually they weren’t at all together, but Bruce was kind enough to let Tony in when he had fucked up yet again with his usual lab companions. That’s what Bruce said at least. Steve believed him and decided he would get more out of Bruce in the next weeks.

Late at night, they all said their good-byes. Rhodey was the last to go, and he held Tony for a while in an embrace. He had to leave tomorrow, back to Iran and it seemed to break both friends. Rhodey had Steve promise to look after his brother and he would, as best as he could. Still, Rhodey would probably prefer to stay himself, and Tony surely would feel a lot safer with him around.

“God, Steve, please.” Tony came back laughing, when he found Steve cleaning the shit they left around. “Leave it. Tomorrow, someone comes to clean.”

“Look at the mess.” Steve answered and turned into his direction. A little too early for Tony’s liking who was just wiping away his tears. Steve’s face softened within seconds. “Tony.” He said calmingly and walked up to the young man.

“No, none of that. Don’t ‘Tony’ me with your honeyed voice. Not working, okay?”

Steve still didn’t stop smiling. “Go to bed, okay? I won’t clean everything… just the pizza boxes, the bottles, snacks…”

Tony rolled his eyes but was still relieved that Steve didn’t make a further comment to his tears. Not that there was actually something to say about that. He was only being a pussy, again. “Great.” He answered ironically. “I will help.”

“Oh no. Either you go to bed right now or you sit down on the couch and wait.”

Tony scoffed but didn’t fight. “Lucky you, you saved my life. I usually don’t let people boss me around, especially those I know for three days.” And with a sigh, he fell back onto the couch.

Steve smiled up to him, while picking up all the boxes from the floor. “It doesn’t feel like it, you know? Strangely enough, I feel like I’ve known you for a very long time.” He didn’t give Tony a chance to answer because he made his way to the little room next to the kitchen where he had found the garbage cans.

But the genius didn’t even answer when he came back, he stayed completely silent until they shared their way into the second floor and parted ways in front of Steve’s new room. “No, it doesn’t.” Tony said without turning around. “Goodnight Steve.”

“Goodnight, Tony.” Steve answered before realizing that Tony had confirmed the feeling he had himself. Was it really only three days?

Thursday started rather lazily, Steve was still used to get up way to early but since he had nowhere to be, he allowed himself plenty of time to get up and take a shower.

It was still only around 8 o’clock when he was down in the kitchen, searching Tony’s cupboards for something edible. He just knew that Tony wouldn’t be such a great cook, and Steve wasn’t one himself.

He was a lucky kid because his mom was the greatest cook on earth, and after she died he was in the army where he still didn’t need to do a lot of cooking. Whenever he was back home, he lived off cereals and take-out. He should use the two months to learn some basics.

“I wish Jarvis was here… he makes the best pancakes.” Tony announced himself and sat down on a barstool, still half asleep. “Can you push two buttons to make me coffee?” He asked sweetly. “I want espresso, double.”

“Who is Jarvis?” Steve asked while making Tony his cup of coffee.

“Our butler.”

“Butler?” Steve frowned. “Those still exist?”

“Yeah, I mean we don’t call him that, but basically, he’s the one organizing everything, keeping everybody sharp and the house clean, he’s my father’s chauffeur, but mostly… He’s kinda like a second father to me. He spent a lot of time with me, especially after mom died, my dad was in a bad place.”

Steve put the coffee in front of him and suddenly he creased his face. “What’s wrong?” Steve asked directly, wondering if Tony was having a health problem.

“I’m talking, to a stranger.” He mugged again. “Disgusting.”

Steve laughed, while making himself a coffee. “That’s called connecting, you get to know new people. It’s usually fun.”

After a shared breakfast, Steve asked Tony if he could show him a running route. Tony made yet another face at him. ‘Yeah, the kid with the heart condition surely knows where you can do your shit sport, braggart…’ And then he had tossed a phone at Steve. ‘Use that, it calculates while running how long you can still go. Enjoy yourself.’

Steve did indeed enjoy the run. The phone had calculated the perfect route for his needs and it had great music on it, for which he probably had to thank Tony. In the end, Steve was actually surprised when he was already back at Tony’s house.

He wondered a little about the new car in front of it, which didn’t match one of Tony’s or his friends, but he wasn’t suspicious either. He had seen the security for this thing. He not only needed a personal code to enter, but it also had a biometrical eye scanner. Steve was nearly ashamed for still using that old Samsung smartphone which he had had for four years now.

“No, you don’t have to stay, Dad. There’s nothing you could do.” He heard Tony’s voice from the living room when he entered back. For a moment he wanted to go upstairs and take a shower before saying his hello, but since it was probably Mr. Stark’s house he should probably great him first.

He cleared his throat when he entered the room and interrupted none other than Obadiah Stane mid-sentence, talking business, apparently that was the only thing he talked about.

“Hello Mr. Stark, Mr. Stane.” He looked at the third man in the room, who was just serving Obadiah a coffee. “Mr. Jarvis?” He asked.

“Very well, young Sir. Welcome. Do you want a drink? Maybe a glass of water to hydrate after your run?”

“He can go himself, Jarvis. I’m pretty sure he’s offended that you even asked.” Tony laughed.

“No, thank you, Sir. I’m capable of serving myself.” Steve answered the butler. ‘See’ He heard a murmur of Tony.

“We were just talking, so why ever Tony lets you enter the house without ringing a bell, that’s means at least you are able to find the door and come back later, or never.” Obadiah said into his direction.

“Don’t take him seriously, he’s only joking. I hope you’re doing good Steve?” Howard answered, while Steve nodded as an answer, he felt that it was not at all joking. The man made all of his alarms go off in his head. He must keep his distance because something was clearly not right with that guy.

“And he lives here, leave him alone.” Tony involved himself.

“I thought you stopped sleeping around with people, especially guys…”

Steve tensed up again. It would be impolite to beat the shit out of this fat guy, right? Maybe just a little, he should do it, though. He saw how Tony held back himself, his jaw clenched and it was impossible to ignore it.

“First of all, he saved my life. Second of all, he needs a place to stay. Third of all he’s a friend. And this is my place, so if one of you is leaving, it’s you.”

“A friend? You’ve known him for three days? And he lives here? Sees all your stuff? The blueprints? Are you out of your mind?!”

“I think, if Tony trusts him, we can too, Obie.” Howard answered before Tony was able to bark at the white-haired man.

“I just wanted to say hello.” Steve said calmly although he was sure, they could hear that his voice was tense. “I’m going to shower…” He left the room without a further comment of a certain ‘Obie’. He wasn’t comfortable leaving him with Tony in a room but Jarvis and Howard were still there, and they seemed to be way more decent.

After the shower, Steve stayed in his room until he heard the three men depart. He wanted to prevent another tensed-up meeting with Obadiah Stane, but this would probably not be the last time he met him.

Tony had been awfully quiet the rest of the day. He stayed alone in his workshop, but he wasn’t really working, that was at least Steve’s impression, when he brought him lunch down. He just sat in front of his laptop and was watching movies or photos.

On Friday, his mood changed yet again. Bucky came over because he got his first prototype for his prosthetics. All three of them set together in the workshop, Bucky’s stump had been prepared for weeks now, only waiting for the final results.

Bucky and Steve had been talking while Tony had been silently working on some adjustments. It wasn’t the same silence as yesterday. He smiled and murmured to himself. It felt way more relaxed then yesterday.

“So that’s it.” Tony told Bucky, when the prosthetics clipped on his stump. “You have the SI app, right? Like that you can give direct feedback, and there’s a phone number you can call if there are any problems coming up.”

“I thought, I could just call you.” Bucky laughed.

“Yeah, usually.” Tony scratched his neck. “I’m not sure, I will still be able to do it.” He tried to smile up at Bucky. “If I’m still there and if I’m also still able to work, you can come back to me. I told everybody that. This is my program and I wanna finish it, but if I’m not capable to do so, I want all of you guys to have at least someone that can do it. You talk to Mr. Jackson. He’s the best engineer we have, and he knows all of my blueprints and notes.”

Bucky grabbed Tony’s shoulder. “Thank you, buddy. But I’m sure I won’t ever need that guy. You’re my man. And I can wait if you need some time after the operation. Nobody will touch it, expect you.”

A tear dropped out of Tony’s eye but he smiled it away. “So, you want pizza or Chinese take-out for lunch?” He asked.

On Saturday, Tony and Steve were hanging around on the couch watching TV. While Tony seemed to keep up with the context of the show, Steve was drawing on a sketch block that he had stolen from Tony yesterday.

“Who are they?” The man next to him suddenly asked. He hadn’t kept up with the show then.

“Chris, Mia and Ty. I met them when I just enrolled in the army and over the years we had lots of missions together, now they’re under my command.” Steve sighed. “Mia is the only one in the army that knows about my preferences…”

“How come? I thought you tried to hide it in the army.”

Steve smiled once, and restarted to draw, while explaining the cause to Tony. “I like her, a lot. Really, and one day I just thought, maybe that’s enough you know? I’m not attracted to her, at all. She’s beautiful, I know that since all the guys in my company are trying to catch her… So, I tried to flirt with her, and since I thought I was doing fine I asked her out.” He laughed once again.

“You should have seen her face. She lost it completely. First, she dead-paned, and then she was lying on the floor dying of laughter, she actually couldn’t breath anymore. Useless to say, I had been shitting my pants before but I wanted to die right then and there. I actually wished for a bomb to drop right on my head.”

Tony grinned, when he saw how the memory still turned Steve’s ears red and his face a sweet tone of rose. “When she was done with making fun of me, she got up and asked if I wasn’t gay. I nearly had a heart attack, really, as if the thing before hadn’t been worse enough. She saw it in my face, so I confessed it to her. She’s the best. After she actually went on a few dates with me, that were only friendly for us, but…”

“That can prevent rumors to even come up.” Tony finished his sentence.

“Right, since Bucky’s not there anymore those three are my best friends, but Mia is like a big sister to me, sometimes the little one, though.”

“You miss them.” Tony stated.

“Yeah sure, but I missed Bucky and Sam, too. I miss home, good-old America.”

On Sunday, Pepper came over with Nat and Bucky and they spent the whole day trying to distract Tony from the thoughts in his head. He had been so quiet in the morning that Steve wrote Natasha a message that sat the people up to come to Tony’s place.

It worked pretty well. When the two men were alone again, they were still casually chattering. Tony was relaxed, lying on the couch, nearly falling asleep, when he finished explaining to Steve how he preferred the motor of the Porsche over the last Audi, but that in the end the Audi was still better.

Steve hadn’t understood the reasoning for that, mostly because he was to distracted by just looking at Tony. Him talking with closed eyes, under that blanket Pepper had put over him hours ago, was oddly feeling like home. He was so calm and cute, just utterly beautiful. The other reason was that Steve had no knowledge of technical information about cars.

“Would you like to go out with me?” Steve couldn’t stop himself asking when Tony had finished his conclusion. In his mind, Steve had just given himself a slap across the face. This was the worst moment he could have come up with that.

“I’m not in the closet.” Tony answered cryptically, since technically it wasn’t a no, but not a yes either.

“Me neither.” Steve answered fast.

Tony opened his eyes. “In the army you are, and the moment you start dating Tony Stark, you’re not only out of the closet, you are pictured in any magazine you can imagine. Hell, even those college journalists would write about it.”

Steve wanted to answer that he wouldn’t mind. He stopped himself, just before the words wanted to come out of his mouth. Tony was probably right. When Steve had looked into his eyes for the first time, he had instantly fallen in love with the genius and something was telling him, that Tony wasn’t so opposed to the idea of going out with him. But, they probably met at the wrong time and place.

Steve was still in the army. He would be in the near future and Tony was having the fight of his life, for his life. They seemed to work as friends, and by that nobody would be hurt, right?

Tomorrow, Steve would bring him to the hospital, and they would do the last check-ups for the operation and after they would probably cut him open. Wow, he had to stop picturing this in his head. He would be there, supporting him as a friend and only as a friend, and it would be good enough.

Only late at night, when he laid awake in bed, Steve realized that in fact, he probably could manage being openly gay in the army if he knew Tony was waiting for him at home.

Chapter Text

Waiting in the hospital wasn’t something Steve was unfamiliar with. He waited once when they tried to bring back his mom. And failed. It was the time, when they knew she wouldn’t be there for long. He stayed with her in the hospital for as long as he was allowed every day.

He remembered being pushed out of the door when her heart had just stopped beating. They tried to bring her back, while he was just walking up and down the floor. He could still hear their seemingly useless tries. Five times, he had heard the defibrillator five times. This had been another stage of heartbreak he never wished to feel again, he did, though.

Even worse was the moment when the doctor walked out of the room, straight into his direction, and he just knew… It’s impossible not to, they can’t hide that in their faces, doctors aren’t gods at the end of the day.

Steve had wished for him not to say it out loud so that just for a moment he could have pretended it wasn’t true, that she was still alive, and they could have another day or two, even another hour would have been something he could have worked with.

He won’t ever forget how the doctor proclaimed his condolences to him. At least, Bucky had been there, the moment Steve had called him and had only been able to sob on the phone, his best friend had been on the way to him. Bucky had taken so much pain away. He wouldn’t have survived losing his mom without him.

Then Steve had to think back to when he made it back to their camp in god damn nowhere with Bucky bleeding out next to him. Yet again, Steve hadn’t been able to talk, he was only sobbing and dropping tears on Bucky’s chest. He had been shaking his shoulder, endlessly trying to wake him up.

They got him in that helicopter back to a hospital, where Steve was again sitting in a waiting room and praying to God to save his best friend’s life. It was worse than with his mom. He had prepared for her death, but Bucky… In the morning he had been joking around with Steve, playing football with the rest of the company when they got their mission call.

And then he had been on that hospital. Praying, crying, before sobbing again, sniffing from the snot running out of his nose. He had puked a few times on this day, every time he recalled the memory of Bucky on the battlefield bleeding out of where there should have been his arm.

He had cried even more when they told him, he was going to survive. It was relief, mostly, but honestly Steve hadn’t believed for a second, he would make it. He had pictured himself on Bucky’s funeral, trying to stay strong for his mom and siblings.

But the worst would have been, that he was Bucky’s person. He wished for Steve to escort him home if he ever died on the battlefield. Steve wouldn’t have denied him this honor, while it would have killed him inside to do so, standing there next to his coffin and being the one to present the flag to his mother.

He would have been the one bringing her that flag, proclaiming what a honorable service her son did for their country, but what was that contrary to bringing back her son alive?

“Mr. Rogers?” A voice brought him out of his daydreaming. He looked up and saw a smiling nurse in front of him.

“Yeah?” He asked with a sore voice and wiped away the tears running over his face.

“I just talked to Dr. Yinsen, because…” She shuttered a little. “Y-you didn’t look so well, so I thought, I would have a look. He says everything is fine for now.”

“Thank you.” Steve answered honestly.

He only stayed alone for another ten minutes before Bucky arrived with some of the others, he didn’t even see at first. He threw himself right on Bucky and the tears restarted running over his face. He was able to withstand himself from sobbing at least.

“Hey, Stevie.” Bucky murmured softly into his ear. “You worked yourself up again, huh? You could have told me, I didn’t necessarily need to see my physio this morning. I could have been here from the beginning.”

“I’m sorry we fought the other day.” Steve murmured onto his shoulder.

“Hey, everything’s fine. We were fine back at Tony’s place, no worries, big guy. You were right, Tony deserves his friends. I’m just concerned because of you. You see why, right?” Bucky pushed him a little away only to take his face in his hands.

“I saw what your dad’s and mom’s deaths did for you and how you changed after my incident. I love you, Stevie. I don’t want you to be hurt, never again.”

“Your hand is warm.” Steve whispered.

“Right?” Bucky laughed. “It’s fantastic, isn’t it? I mean it’s not hand warm, but it isn’t ice-cold either, I thought so since it’s a lot of metal, but it’s great isn’t it? I mean it has some bugs, but it’s still better than no arm at all, what do you think? I look great, fantastic, if Nat didn’t love me before, she certainly does now.”

Steve embraced his friend again. “I’m so happy for you, so much.” He whispered.

“Now, stop crying, buddy. You want to impress Tony, right? That won’t work with a crying face. Well, it’s adorable but has also way too much sadness in it, okay?”

Steve nodded once and let go of his friend to sit back on his place. A little ashamed of his outburst, he only waved at the rest of the group.

“So, any news for now?” Pepper asked, purposely to not let anybody have the chance to comment further on Steve’s outburst.

“Nurse said everything is good for now. He’s been in there for two hours and a half.”

“That’s pretty long, isn’t it?” Clint asked. He looked a little concerned.

“Well, Dr. Yinsen told me before that it would probably take a little longer than usually. He just wants to really look at his heart, so that maybe he can see what’s wrong and find a way to heal it.”

“Everything is going to be fine.” Natasha assured all of them. “I know it. Didn’t his father want to be here?” She changed the subject a little.

“Yeah, he did. Tony basically uninvited him. He said he would only get more anxious if he knew his dad was running around the hospital. And I had the impression he didn’t want to have his uncle around.”

“You’re already worrying enough, just imagine if his dad would be here.” Bucky laughed and clapped on his shoulder.

“With uncle you mean Obadiah, right? That little piece of shit.” Pepper asked.

“Yes.” Steve grinned for a moment. “You don’t like him. Rhodey doesn’t either or am I getting the wrong impression?”

“Dude, she called him a piece of shit, what do you think?” Clint answered lamely.

“What he said.” Pepper answered. “But, honestly… it’s a really long story, but yes Rhodey and I pretty much hate him. For what he always did but especially when he tried to talk Howard into stopping to look for Tony when he was kidnapped in Afghanistan.”

“Really?” Bucky exclaimed. “That’s a joke, right?”

Pepper shook his head. “Sadly, not. He told Howard, it was useless and that Tony was probably already dead.” She sighed. “But Howard would never give up on him. I mean they don’t act close at all, but they are. Howard is all that Tony has, and Tony is all that Howard has. Even now, I know that Tony’s more worried about his father than himself. I knew he was back in Afghanistan.” She leaned back on her seat, looking around the group of friends.

“Rhodey found him. I mean the whole mission was founded by Howard of course, but he saw James first. He told me the whole story, since Tony wouldn’t dare to.”

She took a deep breath. “Obviously, Tony was different, but… Rhodey told me how lost he was, not figurative speaking. He was completely out of his mind. At first, he thought he was hallucinating, and then he wouldn’t stop asking for his dad. Really screaming and crying for him. Only when Howard held him in his arms, he stopped. Then he was extremely silent for a very long time. Rhodey said it was all worse than the search by itself.”

Pepper looked around, shook her head a few times. “He just turned nineteen at that time, still a kid of course, but… It’s Tony, you know? He had been kidnapped before and after he laughed about the stupidity of the kidnappers, every single time. This is the Tony, I knew. But that one was different.”

Steve noticed how Pepper’s hand were shaking a little around her cup of coffee, although her face was not giving away more than a little distress that showed already when they arrived.

“He’s never given any details about what exactly happened to him, but Rhodey is sure they tortured him. And he changed, since than… He’s still totally Tony, but more silent, more introvert, less joking around. You all only met him after so maybe you don’t understand, but Tony left a part of him behind there. His enthusiasm, some of his wit, but mostly his strength to fight Obadiah for things he doesn’t want to do…”

“Why would they torture him?” Bucky wondered. “He was there for three months, right? They wanted money, and if they get it or not, they should have killed him. And if they wanted secrets or weapons and Tony wouldn’t give them, they would also have killed him.” Bucky made a point.

Pepper shrugged, they all have had those thoughts, they still hadn’t found a solution. “There was never a demand for money.”

“What?” Natasha wondered. “This seems illogical. Mr. Stark is a billionaire, why wouldn’t they claim money for his only son, the heir of Stark Industries?”

Pepper shrugged yet again. “We know something is off, but Tony refuses to talk about it and the terrorists that kept him there, either fled or got a bullet in the head, most of them from Rhodey…”

“Deserved.” Bucky murmured, and even though Steve wanted to say that those were still human beings, even he had difficulties to grant terrorists, and especially terrorists that torture a nineteen-year-old kid, any grace.

Clint grinned into Natasha’s direction. “I see, Nat is back in her investigation mode.”

“Something itches inside of me every time I meet Obadiah or Tony talks about him. And I’ve only known him for a week. Would he have a reason, to…?” Steve whispered.

Pepper gasped at him. “I hate him. I do… But no, I mean… No. He’s known Tony since he was born, he wouldn’t.”

“Does he have a motive?” Bucky asked again.

“Well, if you put it like that, everybody has a motive.”

“Pepper…” Natasha pushed her a little more. “You’re trying to downplay something.”

“Maybe. Tony has been trying more and more to go his own way. Well, he used to, before the abduction. Now, the only thing he does out of his free will is his prosthetics program, which Obadiah allowed just because it’s for his PhD.” She took a sip out of her coffee, that after the look on her face, most definitely was already cold.

“But when he turns twenty-one, he will not only automatically be CEO but also head of R&D.” She continued. “They have a contract, I don’t know exactly how, but Obadiah is going to lose his CEO status and is only going to be a member of the board, although I think he’s holding about 20% of shares alone. Tony has proclaimed in a few important occasions that he’s not going to keep on doing weapons factory forever. He has great plans and Howard supports him, Obadiah, not so much.”

“Sorry, I have to break it to you, but that situation literally screams motive from the beginning till it’s end, honestly. You sure, he wasn’t the source of Tony’s abduction?” Clint wondered.

“Rhodey is still investigating, if there’s something he will find it.” Pepper soothed them.

“It’s been two years, what could he still find now?” Natasha wondered.

“He has a lead to a terrorist’s organization, and that’s all he told me, promise. I’m pretty sure I don’t want any details, I worry enough about Tony, no need to put another one in the mix. It’s enough he’s back down there.”

And just when Steve wanted to reassure her that both her friends would be fine, he saw how the doors opened where he last saw Tony disappear in. They all jumped up when Dr. Yinsen walked up to them.

He couldn’t yet read his face because he was still wearing his surgical mask. Steve wanted him to take it down, so he could read his face before he said anything. And when he did so, he was able to see at least a little smile on the doctor’s lips, but also a rather concerned look on his eyes. Steve’s intention failed him miserably.

It probably wasn’t worst case but not the ideal scenario either.

Chapter Text

“I can’t tell you a lot, for now.” Dr. Yinsen started. “I need Tony’s agreement to inform you properly, the only thing I can say… He made it through, already fighting his anesthesia, but he’s very drugged and sleepy. He’s in intensive care, so you can see him, but only one at a time, please? Tony has room to himself, but I don’t want him to get stressed, alright?”

When all of them nodded, he smiled once. “Very well, I see you guys later. His room is number 431.” And then he left them alone.

“Steve, you wanna go first?” Pepper asked him. “You waited for him the longest.”

“Actually.” Steve scratched his head. “You go first, I’m happy he’s alright, I just need some fresh air. Alone.” The last word was declared into the direction of his best friend. “I come back later, you guys certainly have to go to your classes, right?” He asked Clint and Natasha.

“I’ve got training in about an hour.” Clint confirmed.

“Yep, classes, later.” Nat answered.

“Alright, I see you guys around, then? Maybe in the evening or tomorrow?” They nodded simultaneously at him, when he pretty much ran out of the floor.

“Is he okay?” Clint wondered.

“He will be.” Bucky smiled. “It just that he’s heads over heels for Tony, which is just something he’s not used to. I’ve never seen him completely in love, usually it was only liking, good enough for a couple of weeks.” He grinned. “He’s so gone, I swear.”

Pepper laughed. “Tony let him in pretty fast. I’m sure it’s reciprocally.” She sighed and picked up her bag. “I’m gonna have a look at the troublemaker. I don’t have that much time myself, a lot of work waiting for me.”

Tony opened his eyes only slightly when he heard Pepper enter the room. She sat down on a chair, next to his left side. He tilted his into her direction and cracked a tiny smile.

“Hey, you.” Pepper whispered and took his hand.

“Hi, Pep.” He murmured back.

“How do you feel?”

“Dizzy, drugged, but not with good stuff, stupid.” She laughed once and held his hand tighter. “You wanna kill me with your hand?” He asked.

“God, Tony, I was so worried.” A tear suddenly dropped out of her eye. “I couldn’t live without you. I never told you directly, and I’m sorry I didn’t. You mean the world to me, I-we love you, and I hate so see you hurt.”

“You had your chance.” Tony answered and closed his eyes. Pepper realized, that he was probably way to sleepy and would most likely forget that she even said something, maybe she needed to repeat it another time.

“You were fifteen when you hit on me.” She laughed. “I was nineteen. That’s a crime. You were cute, though but not in the way you are now. It was the kind of ‘oh little genius boy is walking around with the big boys’ You were sweetly pathetic. Is that combination even possible? Now you’re really sweet and handsome… a little bit grown-up.”

“Are you drugged, or I?” Tony wondered when he interrupted her. He left his eyes closed.

“It’s the worry talking out of me.” She sighed. “I can’t stay, though. I gotta go to work, but Nat, Bucky and Clint are there to say hello, and after Steve will stay with you, okay? I come back right after work.”

“Can you call Dad?” He asked.

“Sure, I can, what should I tell him?”

“Just that I love him, okay?” He whispered and was definitely close to fall back asleep.

“Yeah, I’ll do it right away. Rest a little, someone will be there at all times. And I’ll come back, promise.” She stroked over his forehead and kissed his cheek before getting up to leave the room.

“Love you too, Pep.” He answered, just before she was out of the room. She smiled softly, she had known that before. Tony told them frequently that he loved them, but usually they smiled or gave him a kiss. They all were better with signs than with actual talking. Tony knew that. He liked physical contact, he needed it, more than his friends did.

When Steve came back, he met the others just outside Tony’s room. Nat had been the last to come out of the room. She had just closed the door behind her.

“Hey, you’re back.” Clint laughed. “Ugh. You bought flowers.” He made a face at Steve. “Dude, I mean, it’s sweet and all, disgustingly sweet. But, isn’t this kinda, too much?”

“Shut up Clint. Go to your training. You better be there on time or else the coach will replace you with Rumlow.”

“Ha! Nice joke.” He laughed at her but left the three after waving goodbye.

“So, punk. The flowers. Again? Red flowers this time. Maybe it would be better to change your strategy a little bit? Normally you’re good at strategy stuff, right?”

Steve smiled proudly. Last time, he was a little ashamed of the flowers but Tony had loved them. They were still on the couch table at his place, totally dead, but Tony refused to throw them away. Steve had just now decided to replace them with something better. He would bring Tony new flowers every day if only to see a tiny smile on his lips.

“My strategy is working out just fine, thanks for your input. And yes, this time, I bought red flowers.” He proudly showed them right into Bucky’s sight, who only rolled his eyes.

“You will probably need to wait for his reaction. He’s fast asleep, completely gone.”

“I can wait. See you guys.” He said and entered Tony’s room. He was indeed asleep, so Steve only silently put the flowers into a glass of water and sat down next to the Stark boy.

He was very pale and thin. He looked thinner than in the morning. Although Steve was telling himself that this was impossible, Tony seemed to have lost a few pounds since then. He looked tiny too, the hospital bed, that usually was way too small to be comfortable, was now way to big. Had it seemed like that last week?

Steve desperately wanted to touch Tony, hold his hand, wipe away the sweat on his forehead, brush through his hair, that he knew must been softer than a dog’s fur. But he didn’t. Tony was unconscious and they were not close enough for Steve to just do it without Tony’s clear consent on any physical touch.

To concentrate on other things and let the time pass until the genius would wake up, he took the sketch block out of his bag and continued the drawing he had started two days ago. He drew it out of a memory he had from last year Christmas where he had been away from home in Iran. His first Christmas without either his mom or Bucky and he had been very miserable.

The good thing was, nobody fought that day. If he wouldn’t have been in a military camp, he would have described the day as oddly peaceful. He had sat on his cot, finally reading Harry Potter for the first time (Bucky had sent it as a present), while his friends had been playing cards next to him.

Even though he had liked the book, he stopped reading from time to time to just watch his friends joking and playing around. This image had stuck with him forever, but only now he found time to actually sketch it down properly. He hoped he got it right, he had pictures from that day but he wanted to get their faces right without technological help. This was great memory training, at last.

He just finished the outlines of Ty’s face, when he saw movement on his left side. He turned around to see Tony slowly opening his eyes, bewilderedly looking around the room.

“Hi handsome.” He whispered to Steve.

“Hi pretty genius.” Steve answered and put away his draft, to turn properly into Tony’s direction.

“Mh, sweet. You just had to top it?”

“You know me well for only a week.” Steve smiled. “How are you feeling? Any pain?”

“No pain, just not as much genius as usually, very tired. Hey, were you the only one here?”

Steve shook his head. “Pepper came in first, after that, Bucky, Nat and Clint should have been here. I don’t know exactly, after Dr. Yinsen told us you were alright, I took some fresh air and let the others come in first.”

“Mh, I thought I dreamed about Pepper, maybe I really talked to her.” He sighed and looked around his room. His eyes fell on the flowers on his right sight. “Are those from you?” Tony whispered.

Steve scratched his head. When Tony turned back to him, his eyes were watery, but there wasn’t a tear dropping out yet. “Yeah, yeah I did. I thought you liked it the last time.”

“I did, very. Thank you.” A little smile appeared on both faces. “But you shouldn’t get yourself involved with me, not only because of the public, but also because I’m toxic, people don’t end up in good places when they’re with me.” He dried his eyes with his scrub shirt he was still wearing. “The sweeter you are to me, the more I fall for you and the harder it will be to see you go.”

That was deep for someone just waking up from an operation and as far as Steve knew certainly for someone like Tony. “Can I take your hand?” Steve asked, before answering. Tony turned his hand around, so it laid invitingly in front of Steve, that put his palm directly into Tony’s and squeezed it. “And now, listen to me… You can ask Bucky or Sam or even Nat. When I put my mind on something, I’m never gonna give up okay? I put my mind on you, Tony. So, if you tell me you’re not ready for anything now, that fine… I can wait forever and if you tell me you’re not interested I will leave you alone, but…”

He smiled down on Tony’s face, caressing the back of his hand. “Don’t ever say such a shit again, okay? I decide who I wanna date, and frankly, I met your friends-group and they love you, you can’t be so bad than, right? And I’ve got a good instinct, you are a great man, Tony. That means, if you give me a chance, I’m going to give you the world, not because I wanna buy you in any way or because I wanna prove myself, but because I believe earnest to my heart that you deserve nothing less than the world.”

“You hardly know me a week.” Tony answered but now there was actually a tiny tear rolling down his cheek.

“Maybe, but I’ve heard your friends talk about you, I hear Bucky and Nat talk about you. You saved Bucky in a way no one could, and I’m sure the other guys getting a prosthetic thanks to you would say the same.” He smiled softly. “I know you, Tony Stark, maybe better than you know yourself.”

“You saved my life.” He responded, and Steve had heard that already way to often out of his mouth.

“Drop it Tony, okay? Accept that maybe it was destiny I was there. We were damn lucky, I have done cardiac massage on nine people, you included, and I saved only two, most people don’t survive… but nobody knows who’s going to survive, so we try it on every person. Maybe I was the one pushing your chest, but it was God deciding to let you stay. Please stop making everything I say about me saving your life.”

Tony sighed and closed his eyes. “I should have believed Bucky.” He sneered. “You have kind of a thing to make speeches. By the way, I don’t know if that message reached you on one of our talks, I don’t really believe in God, and I don’t understand how you could, you’re a soldier, people are shooting at you, you see young people die… should be the bad guys dying.”

“Okay, you are changing the topic, and I’m willingly to go along with it, for now.” He shot Tony a knowing glance, who only bit down on his lips and tried himself on an innocent look, which failed. “First of all, the people I fight also believe they are the good ones, right? How could God make the call to decide who’s bad and who’s not? Secondly, he gave us this world and decided to give us a free will. He didn’t make the war, that’s totally on us.”

Tony shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Man, why are you even in the army? Every time we talk about that stuff you seem to not believe in what you do.”

Steve leaned back in his seat and let go of Tony’s hand. “I’m going to tell you, if you go on a date with me, a real date. Give me a least a chance.”

Tony crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Wow, you’re going all-in here? Maybe I don’t even care that much about why you do what you do.”

“You are too nosey to not want to know.”

“Right, okay fine.” He crossed his arms. “We can have a date, but I choose the place and pay.”

“You choose, I pay.”

“We’ll come back to that. Why did you enroll?”

“Multiple reasons to be honest. I had a few ideas for my future. The army was the most secure, financially speaking. I was 18 and alone, my parents didn’t really leave much behind at least not enough to pay off college. Another maybe silly reason was that I wanted to honor my dad. He hadn’t really a choice either, grew up poor so he went to the army. He wanted to retire from the army after his last deployment.”

Steve felt, how his face automatically put on a mask, so he wouldn’t show any emotions. He usually did when he talked about his father. “He went to the Kosovo conflict in 1999. Later we were told that he and a few other soldiers had stayed behind to help some Albanians carry out some blessed civilians, well a bomb deployed only about 50 feet next to them…” Steve turned even more away from Tony. “He only made it back in a coffin. Last deployment. Is that even believable? He wanted to stop to be with his family. Wasn’t meant to be.”

He turned back to Tony. “So, maybe for me it was also proving myself that this wasn’t the usual way, that I would make it back. Last but not least, Bucky went. He is all the family I have, it wasn’t clear that we would end up together, we didn’t every time. Maybe it was destiny to that I was with him, when he lost his arm.”

“You are a Captain now, but you don’t really believe in what you do?” Tony asked right away. He clearly didn’t want to dig deeper into the story of Steve’s father or Bucky and Steve was grateful for this. On this moment, he couldn’t have said more.

“Killing people is just false. I won’t do that all my life. Don’t get me wrong I’m proud of a lot of my work. I saved people, soldiers, civilians, a lot of kids… but I’m not proud to be the one to make the call if we have to attack.”

“Why did you accept the promotion than?” Tony wondered honestly. “You could have just stayed down in the rank. You wouldn’t have to decide.”

“Better pay, faster out.” Steve simply answered.

“Do you have a problem with what I do? What my family business is?”

Steve shrugged. “No, well, I hate weapons of any type but for now the US can’t be without weapons, and if we need them, then I rather have the best ones to offer.”

Tony grinned only for a short amount of time. “I built a lot of this stuff you know?”

Steve nodded. “The Jericho.” He noted.

“How do you know that?” Tony was openly surprised, maybe even shocked. Steve saw and heard how his heart rate put up some beats. “It’s not on the market. Nobody knows how to finish it.”

“You talked with Obadiah about it. It took me a while to puzzle it out, but I heard some rumors of something huge coming from Stark Industries and then Pepper just told us you wanted to stop making weapons and you fought with Stane about something you didn’t want to make.” He shrugged and told Tony by it that he didn’t find out intentionally.

“It could kill hundreds of people, only one of them.” Tony answered. “I can build it and if you’d give my dad some time, he would too.” He sighed. “After my advice, he decided to not even have a look at it. Obie, on the other hand, tried to understand but never will. He still wants it on the market.”

“Why building it in the first place?” Steve asked, since that was the only thing he just hadn’t understood yet.

“Automatism, I think, after building bombs, weapons, anything pretty much on a daily basis and everybody just wanting more and better, I just did that. It was a challenge, you know? I hate to admit it, but I really liked inviting that stuff, building something up from scratch, that’s what I love. I found ways to do that without killing people in the process.”

They locked eyes for a few moments after not having given the other one a single glance for a while. “I’m embarrassed of what I did, Steve. But I’m happy I stopped it while I still could.”

The knock on the door and the entrance of Dr.Yinsen interrupted their conversation.

Chapter Text

The first three days in the hospital passed pretty quickly for Tony. One of his friends was always around, mostly Pepper and Steve but everybody showed up at least once a day. None of them probably knew how much it helped Tony to recover.

Especially since Yinsen’s news weren’t the best. The pacemaker probably wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t even the right thing for his condition. Sure, it helped his heart pump if that shit thing decided it couldn’t anymore. But even though, they found the major problem of his condition, it hadn’t sound promising at all.

He could still remember Steve’s face trying to make out what the doc was saying.

“A global insufficiency.” Yinsen repeated what he had just said, after Steve’s loud ‘A what?’ “Basically, the human body has two half’s of the heart, and either one of them can have the problem of not pumping strong enough. The left side is the one pumping blood into your body circulation, the right half is there to send the blood into your pulmonary circulation. Insufficiency means logically that they’re not working good enough, often it’s only one of them. In this case it’s both.” He had tried to explain it in the easiest way possible.

“How are you still alive?” Steve had whispered, after he had stayed silent for an awfully long time. Later, it had taken a lot of effort from Tony and his friends to calm him down, which he still hadn’t. Probably because it wasn’t right in Steve’s mind how a young guy could end up in this position.

“Your mother had the insufficiency on the left side. For you, that’s also the worst of the two but the right side is only slightly better to be honest. You’re lucky Tony. At least your arteries are looking good.” Yinsen had shown honest concern in his direction. “You almost left me in there, you know? Again. You’re 20 years old, Tony. I don’t need that on my conscious, okay? I will talk to a few colleagues. It doesn’t seem untreatable. There may be a chance without waiting for a transplant.”

And before that talk, Tony had had already silently decided he could go through anything but the last bit. He would do whatever his dad, Yinsen or his friends wanted, except getting a transplant. There was no real reason behind it. The donor was dead if Tony got a transplant or not, but his mind was screaming at him to no accept that point.

He would not be living with another person’s heart. And he definitely wouldn’t be sitting around for weeks, possibly months to wait for someone to have a terrible accident or something just so he could live on.

For Tony it was like a compromise between his mind and his heart, even if he knew his heart didn’t real decide on anything. The compromise consisted in agreeing on everything except the transplant. His mind wanted to die right away, and ironically his heart would have even agreed to take a transplant. It had been ready to sacrifice itself.

Tony would fight for two simple reasons. He couldn’t leave his dad alone and Steve showing up on one of the most difficult times of his life, that meant something, didn’t it? He needed to explore this connection further before deciding how much it really meant.

“So, it’s been three days, how long are you staying?” Bucky asked him while eating his fries and probably spitting on the floor while talking.

“You’re disgusting.” Natasha told him. She glared at him with angry eyes but was still smiling fondly and gave him a serviette. Tony loved their relationship, he was expecting a proposal from Bucky within the next year.

“Another two days, probably.”

“At least you’ve got great company.” Pepper smiled and nudged Steve in his side, the latter put on a shy smile into Tony’s direction.

“Yeah, if not I would have already died out of pure boredom.” Tony answered, and picking on his salad. With a disgust look at it, he put it away.

“Want some fries?” Clint asked and shoved them into his space.

“No! He’s not allowed!” Steve grabbed the fries and put them out of Tony’s sight. Steve was the sweetest, when their friends said they would come along with fast-food, Steve ordered the same as Tony, salad and a burger bread without anything. Tony hated and loved it at the same time. No, he clearly loved it, more than he would ever admit.

“Doc said if I want to survive, I have to protect my arteries, no fast food for me, for the next, I do no… feels like forever.”

“He said, a few months until they’ve repaired your cardiac defect. I thought about learning myself some cooking skills, we will be fine.” He scrunched his nose. “Maybe not the first week or two, but after. I won’t poison you.”

“I can show you a few things, if you want, Steve?” Pepper proposed. “I think I’m rather skilled. I kept Tony and Rhodey alive quite a few times.”

“Yeah, I’d love that!” Steve agreed within an instant.

They fell back into their chitchat for a little while, until there was a silent knock on the door, a moment later Howard Stark walked in, although it took the group a few moments to actually recognize him. Tony was yet again confronted with the fact that his father was not the man he used to be.

People used to respect him, they looked up to him. They felt grateful even if he just spoke a few words with them. Now, though, he seemed to be an old and tired man. He walked slower, head down and not up in the air like back in the days. He was thinner too and Tony wondered if he was drinking again.

Tony couldn’t restrain himself from feeling responsible for the change in his father’s behavior and motion. He had changed since Tony was abducted in Afghanistan for which his father felt liable, which again let Tony feel responsible for the fact that his father was miserable. It got only worse within time.

There was his heart condition and Tony’s refuse to do something about it for months, nearly years. Maybe it really only had needed Steve to get his head right, but for the sake of his father it shouldn’t have taken him so long to take the decision for his life.

He could only do better now, could he? He absolutely had to do better.

“Let’s give them a little time, a coffee would be nice.” Pepper encouraged all his friends to get up and leave the room with her.

“So, Tony didn’t want him to come, right?” Bucky asked into Pepper’s direction after he had taken a sip of his coffee.

“Yes and no. He doesn’t want to show weakness, especially not if Stane is around but at the same time, he needs his dad, more than he wants to. And Howard needs Tony. It’s good he’s here, for both of them.” Pepper reasoned.

“Everybody wants their parents around if they are sick…” Bucky murmured. “And even if Tony is acting like the king of the world, he’s twenty. He’s a kid.”

“Yes and no.” Steve answered the same way Pepper had. “From what I’ve seen, he is pretty mature, more than some of the kids I met in the army, just sometimes he wants to be a kid so bad that he tends to forget all of his responsibilities. I think it’s understandable if you have a look at his history.”

“Pretty accurate, Rogers. Did you study psychology or something?” Pepper smirked.

“Well, when you have a bunch of wild young adults under your direction, you get to know those problems, not to forget, I’m not that old myself.”

“You sure about that?” Sam laughed. “You’re acting like a mother hen around everybody.”

While the group of friends had a good laugh about that statement, which was indeed true – even Steve had to admit – he decided to not defend himself as he usually would. It wasn’t really worth his energy. His friends knew how he was, and they liked him exactly for that.

Plus, he didn’t really care that much about anybody’s opinion anymore except for Tony’s. Maybe it was dangerous getting too close to him within that short amount of time and the situations both of them were in right now, but Steve cared less and less every day.

The past days neither of them could stop talking. They laughed a lot together but he also had held Tony’s hand when he had cried during one night when a panic attack had taken over his mind. The Stark son had shown his most genuine and sympathize smile when he talked more about his parents and the day he nearly lost Bucky.

He felt safe with Tony, there was a connection between them that none of their friends seemed to understand. Honestly, neither himself nor Tony did. He knew the genius was still trying to fight it, withstand the feeling inside of him that Steve knew he must have too, just like he did. But Steve wouldn’t give up.

He always questioned his sexuality. He always thought that guys were way more attractive than girls, but he couldn’t ever connect with them. Everything was ever only physical, and he just needed more. Steve wanted love. And then he had laid eyes on Tony. There was this major attractiveness point but so much more… Yes, he fell fast and hard but he was eager to make it worth.

“Hey Dumbass!” Somebody shouted at him and Steve was back in reality. Bucky was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Man, this daydreaming has to stop before your back with the army.” Steve rolled his eyes

“What?” He asked, when no one explained why they spoke to him in the first place.

“Sunday, Tony is out of the hospital by then, right?” Clint asked him and Steve nodded. “It’s our last game of the season. Tony usually doesn’t miss a single game, except for when he’s in life treating condition or kidnapped… he missed a few this year, so you should show up with him.”

“If he usually shows up at every game why wouldn’t he this time? Even if I would consider it as a little too soon, but well. I’m a mother hen, right?”

“You sure, you’re getting to know him?” Natasha laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, I do! Why?” He wondered and felt how he was defensive yet again, it was one of his rather unpleasant characteristics.

“The whole world knows that he’s in the hospital, that his life is in danger. Tony will definitely go hide in his Batcave, lick his wounds and wait for it to wear off.”

Steve frowned. “I understand that, don’t you think everybody will bother him during the match? And before and after? I probably would hide too.”

“Nope, you wouldn’t.” Sam declared, and Bucky nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

“Maybe not, but if it helps Tony…”

Pepper sighed. “It doesn’t. It will go away faster when he goes out there, shows his usual self to the world, and basically says fuck you to the people betting on his death. He will heal faster, I know him, please believe me.”

Steve stared at her for a moment. “People are making bets on his death?” He asked disgusted by the society in general.

“People bet on everything, sports, the presidency, next royal baby, next world war and definitely on the possible death of the only Stark heartier. Wallstreet is going crazy too, if Tony dies, SI stocks will drop. And not only a bit but probably about 25 to 30%, or worse.” Pepper explained.

“I don’t know shit about stocks. It sounds terrible, though.” Steve admitted.

“It’s worse than terrible, Rogers, okay? So, your first date with Tony has to wait, or it will be the game, alright? Perfect, thanks. Wear a uniform. You can be his bodyguard, so he’s safe from the paparazzi.”

“How do you know about the date?” He wondered.

Natasha chuckled. “Please, Steve.”

“Tony told me, I’m his best friend, of course he would. I spoke to Natasha and Rhodey about it. Rhodey will give you the shovel talk when he’s back.” Pepper admitted. Steve restrained himself from answering that he wouldn’t be in the States anymore when Tony’s other best friend returned.

“I told Clint and Bucky.”

“Nobody said anything to me, if that helps.” Sam offered with a grin, and even if he didn’t know, he wasn’t surprised at all.

“Why would anybody tell you?” Bucky answered.

“Alright, alright.” Steve gave in. “I will try my best to get Tony to the game. I need good seats, and Clint I hope you are actually as good as everybody claims you to be, so my first date isn’t going to be shit because you lose.”

Natasha stopped the Quarterback before he could attack Steve.

Chapter Text

“Absolutely not!” Tony declared with a firm voice, when Steve broke the idea to him on going to the football match. “When I let you choose the place for our first date, I expected a little more, Rogers.” The genius wasn’t directly angry but definitely distraught, Steve saw his fast breathing and his restless eyes.

“Yeah, alright, how about you don’t see that as our first date? We’re going as friends, watching a football game of one of your friends with our other friends? It will be just a group of friends having a good time, as friends.”

Tony filled himself a glass of water on the sink and swallowed it down all at once. “I swear, Rogers, if you use the word friends ever again, I will shoot a bullet right between your eyeballs.” He was nervously looking around, and still trying to catch his breath.

“Okay, why don’t you go to sit down on the couch? We could watch a movie or play video games, or chess? I will prep some dinner.”

Tony shook his head and walked around the kitchen. He grabbed two bananas, showed them like a price into Steve’s direction. “That will do, I lost a lot of time on the hospital. There are two prosthetics laying around in the workshop. They have a malfunction and people are waiting for them. See you later, dude.”

Steve could only stare on Tony’s back when he took the stairs down to the workshop. So much to taking Tony to the game and making sure he was not overstressing himself. His friends and doctor would chew him up.

But he also knew that this was a lost case, for now. He maybe only knew the guy for two weeks, but even God himself wouldn’t get him to stop working. Steve just needed to find something that Tony found more interesting that his work. He sighed. Yeah, that was clearly an easy task.

Hours later he entered the workshop, loud music crashing his ears and a mess in front of Tony awaiting him. The genius had probably just disassembled one of the prosthetics into fragments. They were lying next to him while he was going through his notes.

“Rogers, I don’t have time for you. Go away.” He out screamed the music, but Steve found the button to turn it off. Tony may be regretting showing him the thing in the first place. “God!” He groaned and turned around to Steve.

The soldier smiled fondly. Tony was relaxed, his hand black as was his forehead and there was also a little grease on his cheek. What a cute human being. And even if he was probably ready to eat Steve up, the anger didn’t seem that convincing. It was only his self-defense showing up.

Steve had seen his most vulnerable parts, and now Tony realized the harm he had done and tried to hide away to not get hurt. He couldn’t yet trust Steve enough to be sure he wouldn’t ever hurt him. Steve needed to act as if the genius was a stray dog… Silly metaphor but maybe it was a little true.

“I know you don’t want to, but I thought we could go to our date today and then tomorrow isn’t really the first one, and we would just be frie… acquaintances. Especially since Pepper wants me to play your bodyguards.” He grinned for a second.

Tony sighed, his eyes showed a sadness he was hiding deep down inside of him. “I would rather not go into public, not because of you, well partly. First of all, those reporters are going to kill me and when you’re there they will freak you out and then you’re gone before anything even started.” He scratched his head with his hand full of grease, but he didn’t even care. “And I don’t want to be the reason why you’re feeling uncomfortable in the army. I know those guys, and I understand why you keep in the closet while you’re there. So, I’d rather not go out with you… Not now.”

Steve crossed his arms. “You sounded different back in the hospital?” He remarked.

“Yeah, course… I was full of drugs and the hottest guy I ever met was sitting next to me and comforting me… I’m not doing that only for me, okay? I’m not that egoistic.”

“Well, something is wrong with your statement, since I’m pretty sure the hottest guy you ever met must greet you every morning in front of the mirror, at least you are by far the hottest I ever met.”

Tony looked up, smiled a second and looked back down. “Flirty, but it’s not your best task… Isn’t even necessary since I’ve already fallen for you.”

“I’m shocked you’re opening up to me.” Steve answered him honestly. “But, I thought about all these things too, after you practically ran away from me. So, I have a surprise for you, upstairs. And just to be clear, I invite you to a date in your own house.”

Steve turned around without waiting for Tony’s reaction he walked away. If he was right, Tony would follow him in no time. He was way too nosy not to. At least that was what Steve hoped for. And he thought that his surprise was worth at least a glance from the genius.

“It’s because of you.” Tony called after him. “Whenever you’re there…” He sighed deeply, and Steve turned back around to see him get up. “I never feel this comfortable with anyone, ever. It took me a long while with Pepper and Rhodey, to fully trust them. Natasha wiggled her way into my heart, and she worked hard to get me to trust her, and Bucky and I… We just understood each other because we had similar experiences. For everybody else…”

Another sigh and Steve heard this tiredness again and he hated that sound. When this showed up on the genius face and was heard in his voice, that’s when he seemed really old to Steve, similar to Howard Stark. As if anything they do, would never end to be something good, and everything was useless anyway.

“I like the others, and I try to trust them… But as much as I try every day, I know and they do, that I don’t. But with you.” He shrugged, grinned for a second up to Steve. “Everything feels right, I feel safe and l-liked, and I dunno where all those feelings come from, but I just decided to go with it… but I’m fucking scared, okay? I’ve had my heart broken before, and I can’t go through this again… Not with you, at least.”

Instead of answering, Steve walked back to Tony and held out his hand. Tony looked up, hesitancy glooming in his eyes. “Wanna see my surprise?” Steve whispered. “If you don’t want me to break your heart because you trust me, then give me a chance to prove it’s safe with me.” Tony still seemed indecisive for a few moments before he took Steve’s hand and followed him back upstairs.

Only a sweet ‘Steve’ came over Tony’s lips when he saw what the soldier had prepared. “I assume you like it then?” Steve asked shyly, scratching his head to do something with his sweaty hands.

Tony turned back to him. “That’s by far the sweetest thing somebody ever did for me… And that after I was so bitchy to you…”

“Come on, the fondue is waiting.”

“I didn’t even know I had a fondue.” Tony answered confused.

Steve led the way to the arrangement he made on Tony’s big balcony. He sat up all the pillows and blankets he found, placed them together in a corner to make a fluffy and comfortable place for them to sit or lay down. He found a fondue and prepared any food they had at the house right now. In front of all this was his laptop, which Tony had wanted to replace the first time he had seen it, set up to play a Star Wars marathon.

Tony fell down on the pillows, grinning up into the sky, back to his relaxed self. It was really an up and down with him, but Steve didn’t want and couldn’t blame him for this. Tony was a challenge and Steve was up to the task.

“Come on, eat something, you haven’t had anything for hours, and I set up the first movie.”

“Am I even allowed to eat cheese?” Tony grinned while sitting back up. Steve bit down on his lip and held a plate in front of Tony, filled with different bread, fruits and some meat.

“It’s an exception, only for our first date. And I will make sure you eat enough of the fruits.” And just to tease Steve, Tony took some pieces of bread and meat instead of the fruits.

“Where does all of this even come from?” Tony wondered when he dipped a piece of bread into the cheese.

“I made sure to use the tablet in the kitchen the last time, so your people could go shopping for my cooking tests. Oh, and I left them some cash, for my part of the food and some for, you know, a tip.”

Tony laughed while putting the bread covered in cheese in his mouth. “That’s why there was money under the tablet.” He laughed again. “They are paid just fine, Steve. Don’t worry, I’m a good person, usually. They don’t take money that lays around. You could even write their name on it, and they still wouldn’t take it.”

“So, what? That’s not okay. I wanted to pay the groceries, since I’m the one cooking and eating most of it.” Steve pouted.

“Steve, honey. You’re the best. No need to pay. I told you, choose the place, what you did, and I pay. Even if I imagined something else. Really no worries, okay? Eat something.”

Steve really wanted to discuss this, to fight how Tony just accepted to let him live here for free and buy all the food Steve was eating. But he knew that would fuck up their date, and after all it was their first one, right? He could pay when they actually went out without Tony having time to stop him.

And seeing Tony like this, after a week of hospital food, enjoying what he prepared, smiling and giggling… That was something he wouldn’t destroy even for peace upon the world, because this right here must be heaven. It was Steve personal heaven.

“Fine, for now.” He gave in and leaned over to switch on the first movie and took another blanket from the side. “Even if this winter hasn’t come yet, it’s still November, so put this over your shoulders.”

“I thought I would use you as my personal heater!” Tony exclaimed and actually sounded offended.

“You can do that too, but first you get a blanket over your shoulders and another one over your legs and belly.” After a short pause he added. “This is not up for discussion.”

And just like Steve decided not to fight over the money, Tony gave in too, put the blankets over and around him, but only to snuggle at Steve’s side right after, while the latter would feed the two of them with the whole plate he made.

Steve was the first to fall asleep when they just started the third movie, while Tony refused stubbornly to even think about falling asleep since he was enjoying the closeness between them way too much to give it up for a little sleep.

Chapter Text

“What do you think?” Steve presented himself in front of Tony the next afternoon. The younger looked up from his coffee, and was stunned. If he hadn’t seen Steve in his military clothes before this sight, he would have bet that Steve looked best in a simple black suit. “Pepper sent it to me yesterday, and I’m not so sure about it.” The man continued sounding rather shy.

“Wait, do you mean if I wasn’t bitchy yesterday, I would have seen this already?” Tony set down his mug to go check on Steve directly.

“Well…” Steve wanted to play it down and not make Tony feel bad about his behavior yesterday, especially since it ended with both of them falling asleep together. But he decided against it, he backed down yesterday for the ‘greater good’ and if he wanted it to work between them he would have to show Tony when he was crossing lines. “Yeah. Yeah, you would have, your bad.”

Steve’s decision hadn’t really a big impact, the genius only looked ashamed for about three seconds, before he grinned and fixed Steve’s tie. “I would have teared you out of it yesterday, so it probably was better for us, that I didn’t get to see it.”

“And you don’t wanna do it today?” Steve lifted his eyebrow and wondered.

Tony raised himself on tiptoes to reach Steve’s cheek and gave a light kiss on it. “I do.” He whispered. “But unfortunately, I know we have to go.”

“Very grown up from you.” He answered cheekily.

“Yeah, I can be… Sometimes, rarely.”

“And you don’t think it’s going to look weird if I show up in a suit.”

“Nah, you need sunglasses, though and no smiling or cheering. Or booing for that matter.”

Steve crossed his arms and looked up and down on himself. “That sounds like a terrible date.”

“Good for me, it won’t be our first.” Tony smiled fondly now. “I know I already told you, but really, thank you. It really was the sweetest and best anyone ever did for me. And it will forever be our first date and today is just bullshit we will have forgotten when we are 80 years old sitting on the deck of our beach house.”

Steve stepped closer to Tony, which was difficult since they were already pretty close to each other already. He put aside a streak of hair hanging into Tony’s forehead. “I only knew you through Bucky and Nat’s stories but something is telling me that you are changing.” He said with a silent and comforting voice. “And it sounds great by the way, maybe not a beach house, though.”

“Why do you think I’m changing?”

Steve smiled a second a took a step back. “You are making plans for the future.”

Tony laughed out loud. “It’s just a saying Steve, I don’t think my heart will be caring me for that long. And you didn’t tell me how good I look in my Barton jersey.” He changed the topic.

Steve grinned and went along with it. “I’m a little jealous of that guy, but you can wear anything and still be the most beautiful human being I ever laid eyes on and now let’s go.”

“You flatter me.”

Steve had expected lots of people, and also lots of them with cameras to chase after Tony, but there were still more than he could ever have imagined. Apparently, it really was common knowledge that Tony tried to never miss a match.

But Pepper had also made a good call to let Steve pretend to be his bodyguard. They made their photos but everybody backed down when Steve walked in their direction with Tony close behind. He was nearly sure he heard him laugh about the situation behind his back, which the genius denied later.

Steve was just happy that Tony wasn’t having an anxiety attack and it also didn’t happen during the day, even if a lot of people were sitting around them. Steve and Bucky put the genius in the middle of them and Bucky looked far more impressive than he should with his prosthetics which Tony had given a metallic design.

“You gotta stop bulking up, or I need to redo it, because your other arm is too big.” Tony bumped his shoulder.

“I’m just too happy, I can finally do everything I wanted to do for months. You know I really appreciate what you did.”

Tony shrugged. “Got me a project for my PhD and an idea to where I want to go with SI when I take over.”

“Stop doing weapons?” Natasha asked from next to Bucky even if she had discussed those things with Pepper a while back.

“Yes, eventually. I know it’s not possible from one day to another, the company would crash and we have contracts, but as soon as possible.”

“Stane is going to hang you.” Pepper told him. She was sitting next to Steve’s other side. She didn’t bring up that argument for the first time in front of Tony, but the genius seemed to be rather oblivious when it came to his father’s business partner, even though they never shared a view in anything related to the company.

“Nah, I can handle him. Dad gives me a free hand with SI. I think he wants to step down more and more, so it’s only the board I need to put on my side. And since you promised me to work for me when I take over, you can charm your way up to them.” Tony seemed pretty confident.

Pepper laughed turning away to look back on the match, eating some popcorn. Steve grinned and stole some of it. “You are not supposed to enjoy it, Rogers. You are here to work.” She told him but had a wide smile on her face.

“Either you pay me with popcorn or with money, it’s up to you.”

“I see, Tony is rubbing off on you. I thought you were nicer.” She held the basket into his direction. “Eat all you want, I probably shouldn’t eat it anyways.”

“So, does Clint plan to enter the draft this year?” Bucky asked.

“No, I tried to talk him into, but he wants to finish his last year. Silly. Stupid.” Tony answered.

“You are against education? Mr. I’m doing my third PhD?” Steve asked sarcastically.

Tony rolled his eyes and shrugged. “If I was that good at sport, I wouldn’t have. My brain is better than my body as everybody knows. I don’t know if you’re invested in College football, but Boston College usually isn’t high up, Clint could have fucking gone to Alabama or Clemson. This team would be nowhere without him. Every NFL team knows. They are waiting for him.”

“Where do you think he will end up? If he ever enters the draft?” Bucky asks.

“If he would go for it this year, probably Steelers, Titans maybe Raiders. They need new Quarterbacks, but it depends on the draft order, so…”

“You are really invested in Football.” Steve wondered, he really hadn’t taught it was such a big thing for the Stark, more like a little hobby to get his mind off of engineering from time to time.

“I had a Fantasy Football league at boarding school, although mostly people outside of my school took part. It’s all maths, so I’m good at predicting when I know the numbers.”

“It really isn’t.” Bucky objected.

“Everything in life is math.” Tony insisted.

“Don’t discuss maths with Tony, Honey.” Natasha interfered. “Not worth it. And Tony? Wouldn’t you like to see Clint go to the Giants?”

Tony grinned. “Course, I would. If Clint wants to, I’ll talk to them. But again, he will probably be one of the first picks, Giants will have to do really bad to get an early pick and I really don’t want that. Maybe he can go to a shit team for two years and then trade to the Giants.”

“It’s funny how you hated his guts when you two met.” Pepper laughed.

Tony shrugged but smiled, thinking of the fond memories he created since with Clint. “Well, I hit on him once, and he turned me down and just a week later you showed up with Nat and him. I had to hate him on principle.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at him and grinned. “So, you hit on Pepper and Clint. I feel like I have to keep an eye on them.”

Tony shook his head. “I wanted to hit on Nat, but she’s scary.” He touched Steve’s leg unremarked by the people around them. “But you believe I changed, right?” He whispered, so only Steve could hear him, maybe Bucky, since it was so loud around of them. “And even if I haven’t till now, I’m ready to do it for you.”

Nobody saw how much that little sentence touched Steve’s heart. His eyes were watery, and he realized the more time passed with Tony, the more he believed that here laid his happiness. In a life with Tony. He definitely felt butterflies flying around his stomach.

And all of his worries he had about the future seemed ridiculously small, when he stared down into those deer brown eyes of Tony. Nothing really mattered, right? As long as he could have this. Tony smiled back to him, and maybe, just maybe was having the same thoughts as him. And this was a comforting idea forming in his brain.

“TOUCHDOWN! Barton with the perfect throw to Parker!”

Chapter Text

Weeks passed quickly. Tony ate healthily, went to his check-ups - all thanks to Steve - and he prepared himself for the operation in the near future. He did some sports, only what was allowed and Steve was a pretty good trainer.

The soldier himself spent some time with Bucky and Sam, but mostly he was mother-henning Tony, who didn’t complain at all, well most of the time. While he kept the genius alive, he learned to cook, mostly thanks to Pepper and surprisingly Thor. The brothers only showed up once a week at best, while the rest of the group pretty much was always around in the evenings after school or work to keep them company.

Apart from that, he was mostly around Tony in his workshop, drawing and reading a lot. Sometimes he went out for a run, or he acted as Tony’s bodyguard when they went out in public. Although most of the time, they went to see things Steve liked as museums, art galleries or only eating an ice cream.

Nobody had caught an eye on them yet, people seemed to believe the story that Tony needed a bodyguard, what he even probably did and Steve was that impressive that people actually prevented coming to close to them.

Except for their little adventures outside of the house, Tony was pretty much only not in the workshop when Steve forced him out to eat and sleep. He prepared work for the university where he still kinda had his job that he wanted to reprise as soon as possible, and apart from fixing the prosthetics from his project, he was writing the theoretical part of his thesis.

“You know, what?” Steve murmured after only having read the first five pages of Tony’s work, since the genius asked him to reread it for grammatical mistakes. “I always thought, I wasn’t dumb. I even would have said I’m a little over the majority of the society, but reading this?” He laughed, when Tony grinned proudly into his direction. “I think learning Mandarin is way easier than ever understanding this, I mean, how do you want me to look for grammatical mistakes or vocabulary, when I can’t even spell half of the words. I am dumb.”

Tony smiled, and he just couldn’t bring himself to stop. He wasn’t making fun of Steve, but it was a comfy picture seeing Steve on his couch, desperately trying to understand his work. Not because he really wanted to correct Tony, or feel superior as most people did with him. And failed. No, Steve genuinely wanted to help him and understand Tony’s work only for the sake of it, not to use it.

When Steve looked up from the papers right into his face with that lost expression on, but still that sweet smile, those eyes… Tony felt how his heart wanted to skip some beats but the pacer prevented it, he was falling deeply in love with Steve and the soldier didn’t even know that Tony’s heart already belonged to him.

“You’re not dumb.” He simply answered, only loud enough to reach Steve as a whisper. “Anything but.”

“Thanks, I appreciate your try to uplift me, but compared to you, I’m a complete douchebag.” Steve laughed.

“Don’t call yourself that.” Tony said silently, laying down his tools. “I’m serious. I’m good at maths, physics, robotics, but you are good with people. That’s so much more important than my skills. I’m no good with people, I’ve never been. They don’t understand me, and I don’t understand them. Rhodey and Pepper are the only friends I ever had, because they made a lot of effort, no thanks to me at all. And thanks to them, I got myself a group of friends. I threw parties and stuff, had lots of one-night-stands, but for those it’s just the look that is important. Not me.”

Steve put a pitiful smile on his lips, not because Tony needed to be pitied, but because he was so utterly wrong with what he was saying. “Maybe you’re really not a genius when it comes to people, but you’re good with people. Man, Tony…” He shook his head. “Rhodey and Pepper nearly lost their minds on thinking of losing you, fuck Clint who apparently only likes Nat, hangs around you all the time…”

“Honestly, I’m getting a little jealous, he loves you. Nat herself would go postal if something were going to happen to you. You gave Bucky a whole new life, not only by making him his arm but also by convincing him to go to therapy.” He continued and stood up and walked to Tony, kneeling in front of him and taking his hands.

“Those people didn’t stay because of money. I know that’s something running in your head, they truthfully like you. You say I’m good with people? Honestly, Loki and Bruce? I would be proud if I could say they talked to me longer than three minutes each, but that would be widely overestimating, but you? They only ever talk to you, longer than three minutes. And no, it’s not because I’m the new kid, I’ve seen it with everybody else.”

“They are special, weird.” Tony tried. “Like me” He whispered.

Steve shot him a glance. “Yeah, maybe they are.” He reasoned. “But the rest of them, except Thor, is usually considered as normal human beings and it works the same with them.”

“What about you? Tony asked.

“What about me?” Steve asked. “I think I’m pretty average, or do you think I’m weird?”

“You’re hanging around with those people and me. Something must be wrong with you.” He laughed. “But no, I thought more about what you think about me. How does it come that you seem to like me?”

Steve put Tony’s hands that he was still holding together and planted a kiss on top of them. “I love you. And I mean it. When I met you, I fell for you just by looking into your eyes but there’s so much more about you than just your looks. Your funny, charismatic, a fucking genius, kind and genuine, honest and the sweetest man I ever met. And don’t doubt me, people tell me I’m also honest.”

“You said ‘I love you’.”

“Yeah, I did, and since I’m honest, and I’m a soldier, I would never lie.” He smiled up to Tony. “You don’t have to say it back, or something, but you knew before. We’re dating and I’m back in service in three weeks. I just needed you to know.”

“It’s dangerous.” Tony answered. “Not for me, god… My reputation is done, but for you. Being gay in the army really is a handful, and you’re not dating the sweet guy from next door.”

“Nope, I have the hottest and most wanted bachelor in the US. I think I won the competition of dating the best possible choice. I don’t even need a price, since I already have you.” He stopped Tony from putting himself down again.

“I know you’re trying to be sweet and all, but actually, it’s getting ridiculous. Big time there. Stop it.” Tony sighed. “But, I still want to tell you…”

As usually in Tony’s life just when he was about to do or say something important, he was interrupted. His phone rang, and naturally he could just ignore it and go on, but it was Jarvis ringtone and he never ever would deliberately ignore this man.

“Sorry.” He told Steve and picked up. “Jarvis, how are you? What can I do for you?”

His former butler needed a strangely and unusually long time to answer. “Sir, I need to inform you that your father was hit by a car and is currently staying in hospital. He hasn’t been responsive and unconscious since the accident. I would propose to you to come to New York City as soon as possible, Sir.”

“What?” Tony asked stupidly.

“For now, the doctors are not certain if your father is going to survive, I think it would be convenient for you to come here.”

“Yeah, yeah. I, sure. I’m already on my way.”

He hung up and saw in Steve’s face that he had heard the whole conversation. “Deep breaths, Tony.” He told him and squeezed his hands. “You go and get changed, and I will pack some stuff for us.”

“No, no. I’m going alone, you should spend some time with Bucky or Sam…” Tony slowly got up.”

“The hell! Do what I said, I won’t let you go alone.”

Chapter Text

Steve thought he knew by now every emotion that could display in Tony’s face, but nothing came close to the face he made when he saw his father in the hospital bed, it wasn’t even something he could have imagined.

He saw how Tony’s body wanted to break down but that his mind kept him on his feet. How he wanted to cry and scream but just swallowed it down, because he kept on repeating that he was the heir to Stark Industries. He was the only one to carry on, so he had to.

Now they sat here, next to Howard Stark’s bed and Tony tapping furiously away on his laptop to keep the company running. Jarvis’ and Steve’s efforts to stop him were choked down with only so much as a glance.

“Tony.” Steve tried again with a soft voice, he saw Tony’s distress in his face and it didn’t come from worry, he was pale and shaking and Steve could swear that his blood pressure was running way too high. At least they already were in the hospital. “You tell me you have to keep going because you’re the only one that can? Well fuck, if you keep on doing that, fucking no one will ever!”

The raise of his voice apparently helped Tony wake up. He looked up for longer than a glance and stared into Steve’s eyes. “You swore.” He stated.

“Yes, because I don’t want you back in a hospital bed, alright? Take a break. You cannot stop the shares from losing worth. It’s normal. Nothing you can do now will change it. You know that better than I do. And your employees aren’t dickheads, well at least I hope so. They will keep on working, and they will inform you if there are things you can change. They also know that your father is in a bad condition and that you as his son have other things in your mind right now. Keep it cool.”

“I can’t okay? If I don’t take over, Obie will and everything I have been working for the past years will go to waste.” He reasoned.

“You think he can change the company within days? How would he?”

“It’s Obadiah. He can if he wants. He’s got lots of fans on the board and legally he is the only CEO right now.”

Steve frowned. “Wait a damn minute, what did you just say?”

“Obadiah is the only CEO. I’m still 20 and if my dad is not in the condition to act as CEO, his responsibilities go over to Obadiah. It’s logic, isn’t it?”

“Tony.” Steve tried to get him to understand without spelling the problem. But Tony just stared back to him like a five-year-old trying to understand how babies were made. “You sure you’re a genius? Cause right now, I’m doubting it. Seriously, you don’t see a problem with that?”

“Yeah, well, as I said, he can change lots of things if they get approved by the board, but he has only 40% of the shares.”

“God, Tony! I thought he only had 20%!”

Tony frowned. “How do you know that?” Then he shook his head. “But no, when I turn 21, he will lose 30%, well he will get paid the counter value of them but that’s it.”

“And what would happen if your father would die before you turn 21?” Steve pinpointed Tony into the right direction.

His eyes grew bigger. “No. That’s… wow.” He murmured.

“Took you long enough.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but… no.” Tony shook his head. “He might want to get a bigger part of the company, but he would never do any harm to my father. They have been friends for years, even before I was born. He helped my dad after my mom had died. He would never.”

“How sure are you? Cause I think Pepper and Rhodey would tell a different story.”

“They only know him as the bastard he is in the business, but you have to.”

“They think he might be the cause to your abduction.” Steve spilled out what Pepper had forbidden him to do.

Tony frowned, then he laughed out loud for a few seconds before he suddenly stopped. “No, come on. He didn’t, he wouldn’t, with which purpose?”

“Money, why else? Didn’t that thought ever cross your mind? Even just for a second?”

“No, he’s a friend.”

“He doesn’t treat you like a friend. Everybody hates him and he gave me chill feelings the first moment I saw him, I trust my gut. And when Pepper and Rhodey talk about him, it’s obvious how much they dislike him. I swear something is off with him. Big time.”

Tony shook his head. “No, come on. I just think it’s his business attitude. And the company would be fucking nothing without my Dad or at least me, it carries our name.”

Steve sighed deeply. Tony clearly wouldn’t get it today, maybe never. He decided it was not worth his time. “You at least wanna take a walk or grab something to eat? I might even let you drink a coffee.”

Tony grinned but before he could answer, the door was torn open and no other but Obadiah Stane stormed in. “What the hell do you think, you’re doing?” He demanded to know.

“Hello, to you too, Obie. Care to explain what exactly you think I am doing?” Tony asked politely. Steve raised an eyebrow, still not getting how the genius could be so blind and dumb when it came to Stane.

The latter shot Steve a glance. “Out of here.”

“Nope.” Steve answered. The man would have to kill him before he leaves on his demand. Stane walked directly up to him, clearly losing his temper more and more. He pushed his index finger into Steve’s shoulder.

“I said out.” Now he was talking with a silent but firm voice. Steve had backed down the last time he saw Stane, for Tony but also to not make a wrong impression on Howard Stark. The father was unconscious at the moment, and the son needed his protection, so Steve stood up and easily ranked over the man.

“Come again.” Steve whispered threatening, staring down into Stane’s eyes. He knew Stane wouldn‘t back down or shut his mouth, but it was enough to see some respect in his eyes. Not that he wanted his respect. He wanted him as far away from Tony as possible but this was only wishful thinking for now.

“Leave it, Obie. He’s staying.” Tony said simply, he hadn’t even moved an inch since the two men went head to head. Stane didn’t blink once. He didn’t back down either. “Come on guys.” Tony tried again.

Steve knew that the clever one backed down first, but he just couldn’t, this tactic wouldn’t work on Stane. Someone had to put him in his place. “Say what you have to say or piss off.” He whispered.

“You think I am afraid of a fucking fag?” He sneered. “Whose cock did you blow to play captain?” Stane grinned up to him, probably waiting or hoping for Steve to take a hit at him, just to report him to the police. But Steve had had military training, he definitely had heard worse and he clearly wasn’t as dumb as Stane hoped. He just kept on staring down on his opponent.

It was unsurprisingly Tony losing his temper. “Shut your fucking mouth, Obadiah. I will throw you out personally if you don’t back off, and believe me I’m strong and angry enough!” He screamed and after a few seconds Stane actually made a few steps backwards without taking his eyes off Steve, neither did he.

“You, boy!” Stane shot at Tony, only taking his eyes of Steve for a few seconds. “You stop giving instructions to my engineers!”

“Your engineers? Last thing I knew, they work for us, and I’m just following the plan, that we established with the board, a fucking month ago.”

Stane rolled his eyes. “You think, we go with that now? Your father is in a coma, and stocks are crashing, and you wanna roll with your battery and smartphone shit? I thought people call you a genius. The only thing working is weapons. It has always been like this and it will in the future, stop being an ungrateful brat.”

“I am. I am a genius.” Tony answered. “And you should be grateful to be a part of the company, now fuck off I’ve seen enough of your shit face. I do what I want, and I know what’s good for my father’s company. And if you don’t like it, then leave!”

Stane shook his head a few times before breaking into laughter. “Okay, I will explain it differently, the only CEO that this company is having right now, is me. I am the boss, Anthony. The board approved of my plan.” He shrugged. “There’s nothing you can do apart from staying at your father’s side, so keep your fingers away.” He shot a last meaningful glance at Steve before leaving the room.

Steve blew out the air he had been holding for the last minutes. “Believe me now?” He asked Tony, raising his eyebrow at him.

“Son of a bitch.” Tony only whispered, before getting back on his laptop, now tapping more furiously on it that Steve had ever seen before.

Chapter Text

A whole week passed without even as much as a little change in Howard Stark’s condition, but Steve worried less and less about the older Stark and more and more about his son. Dr. Yinsen wanted to operate him next week, and Tony refused to be under anesthetic with the risk of dying while his father was out. His trust in Obadiah slowly began to fall apart.

“Just imagine.” He whispered to him in the middle of the night, sitting in the big Stark penthouse in the middle of New York City. “Just imagine, if we both die. Everything will fall into his hands, and there would only weapons, weapons over weapons. The world will go down thanks to Stark weapons. One day, even Obadiah might accomplish to finish the Jericho. Third-world war financed and supported by Stark weapons. I can’t do that Steve, not now.”

Steve stroked over Tony’s hair, the younger man was laying on his shoulder, with his feet on the couch and his knees close to his chest. Like a child. “What would your dad say?” Steve asked silently.

“He can’t say anything.” Tony answered. He really wasn’t a person to play the what if game, only if it didn’t play in his favor.

“You’re killing yourself right now, Tones… You’re throwing everything away.”

“The operation is dangerous, Steve. You know that. I know that. Fuck, 5-year-old me would know it.”

Steve sighed and laid his head back on the headrest, staring on the ceiling. He felt like talking to a five-year-old for the last two weeks. “Let’s put it in numbers, that’s your thing, right? Chances that you’re dying lay by a 100% within the next max of two years without operation. Chances of you dying with the operation are around 40%, that’s what Dr. Yinsen said at least. Do the numbers Tony.”

“So, I have two years, a little time to wait for dad to wake up.” Tony played up and crossed his arms to prove his point, but made him only look more like a kid.

“God, Tony! You’re the math genius, right? That doesn’t mean that you’re only dying in two years. It just means that at least by then you’re dead, which is even pretty pinned-up, and if you would stop being a bullhead, you would see that too. The doc wants you in a good condition for the operation, that’s now.”

Steve sighed and made the last painful point to Tony. “And what do you do, if he doesn’t wake up? There is a big chance he’s staying like this forever.” He took a deep breath. “I hate to be the one to shout it in your face, but Tony if you wanna save yourself and the company you know the right way to do so. He might die, Tony and you cannot change his state, but you can change yours.”

Tony didn’t answer. He got up and walked away. “Come on Tony. You can’t fly every time I say something you don’t wanna hear.”

“There’s a guestroom down the hall.” The genius said without turning back.

“Wow, at least I’m not banned on the couch!” Steve answered sarcastically. When he heard a door shut close, he groaned loudly. “God, you’re going to be the death of me, Stark!” He pushed himself off the couch and walked down the hall to find his sleeping place for today.

Steve was woken up way too early for his liking. He obviously hadn’t slept well, most of the night he didn’t sleep at all. He knew he would have slept better with the genius in his arms, but he was just not brave enough walking to him, fearing another discussion. On the other hand, he knew that Tony definitely would be brave enough but he was so fucking stubborn to admit he wanted to be close to Steve right now.

Okay, Steve was stubborn too, but not with Tony, at least he thought so. He really always made compromises with him, to keep him happy and let him feel safe, but he couldn’t back down this time, could he? It was a life-depending decision after all, and if Tony couldn’t see it, he could.

So, Steve had a lot on his mind and only fell half asleep around 5 o’clock. It was his smartphone that woke him again around 7 o’clock. Someone was calling him. He ignored it the first time, cause fuck he really had nowhere to be, but when it ringed for the third time without a second of a break, he picked it up as fast as he could, cause now he actually believed it was something urgent.

“Rogers?” He said to the person on the other line.

“Hello, sunshine.” A man voice answered, and it took Steve some seconds to recognize the voice.

“Rhodes?” he wondered.

The man on the other side of the line laughed. “Yeah, it’s me. How are you doing, Dogface? How’s Tony?”

Steve sighed. “You haven’t heard, have you?”

“What?” Tony’s best friend sounded alarmed. “Is Tony alright? Is he back in hospital? Why didn’t he say anything?”

“No, no.” Steve tried to calm him. “He’s fine, physically. It’s Howard, he was run over by car. It was a hit and run, one week passed and he is still in a coma without a change. Tony and I kinda fought yesterday partly because of it, I mean…” Steve sighed. He wasn’t actually trying to make his case with Tony’s best friend, right?

“Is he being tonyish again?” Rhodey laughed a second. “You think Howard is going to die?”

“I’m afraid they both are, and Tony is just slowly getting that Stane is dangerous. Yinsen wants to operate him next week. Tony refuses because he’s afraid the company passes to Stane, if they both die.”

He heard Rhodes take a deep breath. “Man, I wish I could come over. It’s just…” Another deep breath. “I actually called because I could use your help.”

Steve sat up on his bed. Rhodes asked for his help? For what exactly? “Yeah, if you want my help, I need more information on what I have to do?”

“I’ve got a trace, the best I’ve had so far, leading to a terrorist group named the Ten Rings. I might be able to track the location on the leader. If I can trust my informants, he is the one that took Tony. But I cannot go there alone, so I thought, hey my new army friend maybe wants to help me out, and you surely know some people that could help. But now I’m afraid you cannot leave Tony, and I’m not sure I even want you to leave.”

“Hold on a minute. Chair force wants my help?” Steve laughed to himself.

“Yeah, yes, I do, Rogers. And it pains me, but I need people I can trust for this. And I don’t know who else I can trust with this.”

“Calm down. Where are you right now? I’ll come, I don’t like it but it’s for Tony and he’s got other people here, you need me, I’ll be there. I will make a few calls and I get more people on board, people I trust with my life.”

“I’ll make sure there’s a plane waiting for you, the moment you tell me where to pick you guys up, alright? I’ll have to go now, but one last thing. Don’t tell Tony anything, he believes I’m just training the new kids down here.”

Steve nodded before he realized that the other man couldn’t see it. “Yeah, no, I won’t say anything. See you soon, Rhodes.” He ended the call and took a long deep breath, now he needed to talk to that stubborn kid in the other room.

He knocked on Tony’s bedroom door, and unsparingly, he didn’t get an answer. When he didn’t get a response on the second knock, he opened the door but stayed outside. Tony laid on his bed with his back in his direction, he was typing away on his phone, working again if Steve’s eyes were to believe.

“Morning.” He said without an answer yet again. “Tony, we need to talk, about yesterday, but mostly…” He sighed, it really pained him to leave Tony back here alone, which of course he wasn’t but then again, he was a little. “I have to go, I don’t really want to, but the military needs me.”

“You’re on leave.” Tony actually responded, only murmuring into his pillow.

“Yeah, yes, I am, and I would really like to stay, Tones.” He said softly. “But this is something bigger than me, bigger than anything I ever had to do.”

“When?”

“Now.” When he heard that word, Tony turned around in an instant.

“Are you serious?” There were anger and some kind of worry in his voice, he didn’t now, if Tony was worried about Steve or about himself, or their relationship, but at least he was acting like didn’t care at all. Steve couldn’t retain a second of a smile on his face.

“Yes. Does that mean, you’re going to miss me?” Steve’s smile turned into a grin.

Tony’s face on the other hand turned into his cold mask he wore whenever he needed to hide away, it had been a while since Steve saw this kind of mask on him. “Not sure, right now.”

“Yes, you are Tony. And, frankly, I’m going to miss you too, even if you’re acting like a baby.”

Tony crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not.” He looked away from Steve. “I talked to Dr. Yinsen, I have an appointment next week. Thursday morning.” He sighed, looking back up to Steve. “I just thought you would be there. You’re my guardian angel, apparently I’m not dying as long as I’m under your watch.”

Steve walked up to him and sat down next to Tony on the bed, laying an arm around the smaller man. “I’m still. I can be your guardian without being there physically, but I’m still there, okay? Pepper will be there, Bucky and Nat, Sam if you want him. You’re never alone. I really wanted to be there, but this.” He gave Tony a kiss on his temple. “I can’t tell you why, but maybe I can after, okay?”

Tony laid his arms around Steve’s waist, holding him close. “Come back save, please.”

Steve gave him another kiss on his head. “You too. I’m expecting you on the airport when I return, alright? With flowers and a big sign.” He felt a tear drop on his shoulder. He pulled Tony closer and restrained himself from crying too, it wouldn’t help neither of them.

Chapter Text

It was around two o’clock in the morning, it was cold and dark around Steve. He would never understand how a place could be so hot during the day and freezing cold at night. But he didn’t want to waste the power of their generator, so he only sat there with a small flashlight to at least have some lighting.

He sat at the only table they had and was doodling on an old notepad he found in Rhodey’s stuff. He was drawing Tony’s hands. He probably did it for the 37th time since they were abroad. He would have preferred to draw his handsome face, his eyes especially, but with the people around here, he tried to keep his head low.

When a cup was placed in front of his face, he startled, he hadn’t realized someone else was up. He must have been daydreaming. Or nightdreaming? He looked up, and Mia smiled brightly at him. She always did, he couldn’t remember when was the last time she didn’t greet him with a big smile. She didn’t say a word, only pushed the cup nearer to him.

“You should sleep, we have a long day ahead.” He whispered to not wake the others. Mia’s smile grew wider, and she sipped on her own cup.

“That’s your third night watch in a row, I thought you could use coffee and company.”

Steve sighed and laid down his pencil, to take a sip for himself. “Thank you.”

Mia nodded to his notepad. “Someone I know?” Steve shook his head.

Mia raised an eyebrow. “You promised me an explanation, when you called me and ordered me down here, you forgot that?”

“I didn’t order you, I asked you and I warned you a million times and asked if you were sure.” He corrected, knowing that she was only teasing. She knew which of his buttons she needed to push.

Mia grinned. She really was always smiling, which had helped Steve through a lot of dark times while in service. For the first time, he wondered if it was her was to cope with the pain. It was Tony’s way. “Spill it, Rogers. I haven’t seen or heard from you in weeks before all this.” She interrupted his thoughts.

Steve sighed again. “It’s difficult, I mean…”

“When it’s difficult, then it’s about love. Is it Rhodes? Didn’t think he way gay.” She sighed with a sad undertone, but still the smile on her face. “What a waste, I wanted to hit on him.”

Steve’s lips lifted up for a second. “No worries, it’s not Rhodey. Take him. He’s a good man.”

“Come on Steve, I don’t want to drag everything out of you.”

“Fine, but lower your voice a bit, I don’t want everybody to know.” And so, Steve told her fucking everything. That he saved Tony Stark, that he couldn’t even take a breath before falling hard for him, his operation, his abduction and so the reason why they were here, Obadiah Stane, Howard, everything he could still put together.

“Wait a damn minute.” She said when he had just finished. “You two sleep in one bed, you have sweet dates and are constantly with each other, you told him you love him, but you haven’t shared a proper kiss yet? I mean the whole thing. And you haven’t fucked each other senseless?!” She had a good laugh. “Man, I knew you were a bit of a prude, but not that much and I certainly didn’t expect that from Tony Stark.”

“Lower your voice, please…” He shrugged. “It’s not really the not wanting, I thing we both want, desperately, but we never clarified that we are together, I think we are, but since I’m publicly in the closet and Tony is more public than anybody I know, I think we never…” He moaned. “I just. It’s complicated, okay?”

Mia put her hands on his hands. “You’re so sweet Steve and it’s kinda ironically that you fell for Tony Stark, but maybe, just maybe it’s time to come out of that closet? It’s the 21st century, the people here like and especially respect you, I don’t think that will change, and if there’s anybody slurring homophobic shit at you, I’m gonna punch them right in their face.”

The smile on Steve’s face wouldn’t fate away for the rest of the night. “You know I love you right?” He whispered. It was true, she was his best female friend, and he was so glad she was here with him. Since they were here, she was the only one taking his mind off the worry he was feeling for Tony without even realizing it herself.

“Love you too, and to warn you, if Rhodes really is not gay and single, I’m going to hit on your boyfriend’s best friend. He’s hot as fuck.”

Steve’s smile grew wider. “You really think no one would care?” He asked for reassurance.

“Steve, of course there will be people slurring and talking shit, but is that even important, if you’re with the love of your life? Cause that’s what it sounds like to me. All of your friends don’t mind or wouldn’t mind for those who don’t’ know yet. And for the rest, fuck it, really.”

“Why aren’t you the Captain? Your balls are bigger than mine.”

Now it was her turn to grin at him, before taking another sip of her coffee. “I’m good at kicking asses, but you are a leader. For everybody else, you just tend to forget about yourself. So, what exactly is stopping you to fuck Tony senseless?”

“Sometimes, I feel like there’s a man inside your beautiful woman body.” He sighed after she had raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean we tease each other, we touch constantly but… I don’t think it’s me, really. Well, it partly is, but only cause he’s so vulnerable right now… Firstly, I’m pretty sure he isn’t even allowed to have sex with his heart condition and secondly, he told me about his last experience and I… I can’t hurt him, and I feel like I would when he’s not a hundred percent ready. I’m waiting for him to come to me.”

“Please don’t tell me somebody violated him.” She was staring in his eyes, ready to fight whoever hurt his so-called boyfriend, without even knowing him. He really didn’t deserve his friends. She was just like Bucky, a female Bucky that maybe had a little more grip than his best friend, but he would never tell him that.

“No, it wasn’t that bad, but bad enough for him to nut trust people easily.”

“To me, it sounds like he trusted you pretty fast. I’m not surprised, it’s you, but still. There are a lot of rumors about his paranoia.”

“Apparently, I’m the exception, but he often tries to push everybody around him away. Rhodey and Pepper are probably the only ones he fully trusts, and he even didn’t want them to know how bad his condition really was.”

“You gotta introduce him to me, when this is over, because the picture of the media doesn’t fit at all with the picture you’re giving me.” Just when Steve wanted to answer, in defending Tony and explaining, that yes, the media just produced a whole lot of bullshit, she looked up, right over his head, so he knew they weren’t alone anymore.

Two hands came down on his shoulders. “Mia, Steve? How about you go sleep for a little bit longer?” He heard Rhodey’s voice behind him. “Mia, you’re not even on night duty, and Steve I need your brain within the next days, and I cannot bring you home, when you get yourself killed because you can’t concentrate yourself on the mission.”

“Yes, Sir.” Mia grinned and got up. She winked at Steve and vanished to probably go to bed.

“James…” The man behind him laughed out loud, well as loud as a whisper, but since he was behind him, it was clear as ice in his ear.

“It’s rare you call me by my name.”

Steve smiled, when Rhodey walked around the table to occupy the place Mia had just left. “Everybody here does most of the time, feels weird.”

“But, you are my friend.” Rhodey locked eyes with him, and Steve felt lighter just by this look of a friend, a friend that understood better than anybody else what he was going through. “Howard woke up. Pepper told me.” He whispered.

Steve let out a sigh. “That’s very good news. For Tony.”

“Yes. He’s very silent since you left. Oh, and don’t worry, I know he doesn’t talk to you, but he basically enclosed himself in the garage, only talking to his bots, and to Jarvis if he’s forced. It’s nothing personal against you. But, Pepper promised me, that Nat and Bucky have a plan to get him out in time for the operation.”

“I’m sure he will be more comparative now that Howard is there.”

“He won’t be.” Rhodey answered, a sad smile showing on his face. “The military put him under protection. He’s in a military hospital to recover, but nobody knows where. Not even Tony and Jarvis.”

“Why?” Steve wondered.

“So, people cannot force the information out of them.” He took a small break. “It was my idea. Do you think I overreacted? At this point I’m sure it’s Obadiah and… he has no qualms to torture either Jarvis or Tony to get the information he wants.”

“How did Tony take it?”

Rhodey shrugged. “I haven’t talked to him. Pepper did. He’s not happy, but in reality, it’s more about you, I think. He doesn’t know where you are, why you are gone and when you will come back. Hell, he doesn’t even know that we are sitting here together. He doesn’t like to be left out, and I’m a 100 percent sure, he’s smelling something. But the worst part is, he’s in love, maybe for the first time in his life and he’s freighted to death for your life and, god forbid, for the first time he’s afraid to die himself, because he would lose the chance of having something good for himself. But you should have any remorse, we do that for him and he will be pleased when you get back.”

“I think you never talked for that long without a break.” Steve whispered, because hell, he didn’t know what to say to this. He wanted to go back immediately, but he also wanted to stay here, because here he was useful and he could only help Tony with his moral but not with his physical problems. And he had friends, right? But they weren’t him…

“Stop the overthinking, he will be fine, and if that’s over. You finally go and fuck that man.” Rhodey laughed.

“How much did you hear?” Steve asked with a little panic in his voice, thinking if he said something he shouldn’t have said.

“Enough. But I’m Tony’s best friend, most of this I knew before you.” For the next sentence, he talked even more silently than before. “And I realized I should ask Mia out, when we are back home.” He grinned. “And now go to bed, Captain. I’m serious.”